Boneless

by Belgerum

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Cheese Sandwich, Comedy
Length: 1463

Cheese sandwich has always been boneless just like his rubber chicken, but Pinkie Pie knows how to make him a real boner. A Cheese/Pie shipfic about love, being true to yourself, and of course, hot trombone action.

Cheese Sandwich has always been boneless just like his rubber chicken, but Pinkie Pie knows how to make him a real boner. It isn't long before the two are playing long into the night together, and all that jazz.

A Cheese/Pie shipfic about love, being true to yourself, and of course, hot trombone action.

Rated mature because this is basically sex re-described so it can also be interpreted as trombone playing.

Published 2014-02-03 10:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-03 10:40:02 UTC

Musical Instruments Are Sexy Too!

Pinkie awakened one night to a strange sensation running through her head. Though she usually slept soundly, and nothing could disturb her, there was only one thing that could make her get up early, besides special party occasions.

It was her Pinkie sense.

Hmmmmm… Pinkie thought, trying to figure out just what her innate sense of the universe was telling her.

Wiggly eyebrows...

"I have to get to the Ponyville town square, pronto!"

With that, she took off, a blur of pink flashing through Sugarcube Corner and out the door as she galloped full speed towards the center of town.

Cheese Sandwich moped by the edge of the fountain, washing his face with the clear waters. He felt exhausted, and dejected, his hair drooping more than ever before as he sighed to himself.

His belongings were all packed into the cart that he pulled, as they always were while on the move.

He knew that if he could find comfort anywhere, it would be here in Ponyville, for it was this town that had first introduced him to the joy of partying, and set him to the path he walked today. The ponies here were fun-loving, welcoming, and had never treated him badly before. Especially not Pinkie Pie.

Then, his tail twitched. It was his Cheesy Sense, trying to tell him something.

Wat a minute...

Twitchy tail!

He looked up suddenly, but was too late to keep himself from being tackled by a mass of pink hair, streamers, and confetti.

"Oof! Pinkie!" He said, somewhat annoyed at her sudden enthusiastic entrance.

"Hee hee! Surprise, Cheesy! You should've told me you were coming to Ponyville today! I could've set up a party, and we would've had so much fun and…"

Pinkie trailed off, realizing that her new friend looked sullen, downcast, and in need of more than just a big surprise hug.

"What's wrong, Cheesy? Something go wrong with your tour of Equestria?"

Cheese Sandwich Sighed. "You might say that. I got run out of the last town I visited, and need someplace to stay for the night…"

"Well why didn't ya say so? We've got a spare room at Sugarcube Corner that you can stay in!" Pinkie smiled, hoping that would cheer up her friend.

But it didn't. Cheese looked at Pinkie pie, smiled and thanked her, but she could see in his eyes that something was still bothering him deeply.

"Thanks, Pinkie. You're a true friend..." He said through his facade.

But Pinkie wouldn't buy that. She loved to make her friends happy, and even if Cheese acted like he didn't need her, she knew she had to do anything she could to bring his happy face back up to snuff.

The pair of party ponies began to move towards Sugarcube Corner together, Pinkie happily bouncing along as Cheese dragged his hooves unhappily.

"You know, why would some stuffy town want to force you out, Cheesy?" Pinkie asked, "You're a great party planner!"

Cheese hung his head low.

"Well… Some towns are really picky about what they want at their parties…"

"Really? What could they possibly want that you couldn't deliver?"

Cheese was silent for a moment.

"They wanted… a boner."

Pinkie Pie gasped. What sort of town would throw out such an awesome party pony just because he wouldn't give them that one thing? She felt almost disgusted that ponies could be so awful.

"But... you have a bone, don't you?"

Hitting the point home, Pinkie watched as Cheese sighed in defeat.

"No, Pinkie. I'm afraid I'm just as boneless as my rubber chicken."

That was the last straw for Pinkie. She knew now that her friend desperately needed her help, and she knew just how to make him feel better.

"Come with me," she said, grabbing Cheese with one hoof and pulling him along behind her at an extremely fast pace.

Cheese could only be dragged along for the ride, as the pink party pony took off, barely managing to hold onto his hat and rubber chicken prop.

Finally arriving at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie raced inside and up the stairs, taking Cheese along with her in a blur of movement.

“Here we are, now just give me a minute!” said Pinkie, plopping the confused stallion down in the middle of the room.

Cheese sat there, and watched as Pinkie opened up a closet, and began rummaging through the large amount of stuff in it. Her pink buttocks bounce up and down as random objects flew by overhead, set aside in the search for whatever mysterious thing she might be looking for.

Cheese blushed at the sight, as Pinkie’s plot moved about as she searched.

“Aha!” she said, looking back at Cheese. “There it is!”

Cheese looked down into his lap, and was amazed to find that he had a long, hard bone in his lap now. How in the world had that gotten there? Had Pinkie had something to do with it?

“Pinkie, I… how did you…” He stammered, not knowing quite what to think.

Pinkie smiled back at him, glad to have helped her friend with his problem.

“Now you have your very own bone! You don’t have to let anyone throw you outta town because they want a boner anymore, so you should be all set!” She smiled happily, knowing that she had helped produce a bone for her friend.

Cheese still seemed a little uneasy about the idea. He looked down at the bone, sticking up from his lap as he sat.

“Well… I don’t know if you’re okay with giving me this bone… and even if you are, I don’t know how to use it yet, even if I have one now…”

“No worries, Cheesy!” Said Pinkie happily, “I can teach you how to play with that thing! It’s easy-peasy!”

With that said, Pinkie walked up to Cheese, set a hoof on the bone, and blew it, setting her lips around the end as she moved them with expert precision.

Cheese Sandwich could do nothing but sit back as his ears were filled with the sound of Pinkie working it. Such wonderful, arousing sounds…

"Wow, Pinkie, you really know how to play with that thing! You've got such good tonguing and a great, warm tone, and…"

Pinkie, her mouth occupied, could do little other than smile at his compliments as she continued to blow Cheese's bone, her lips gently pressing against it. Her mouthpiece was a perfect fit, making her performance even better for Cheese.

Her playing began to crescendo, her tongue moving faster as the movement approached its climax. He could hear her become louder and louder as she worked the bone faster and faster...

And then, the bone shook as Pinkie worked it over the edge, finishing what she had started. Cheese shut his eyes, lost in the pleasure Pinkie was giving him. He felt like bursting into song, but at the same time, also felt something in his heart that no party, no matter how wild, could give him. Pinkie was here with him, helping him with his bone, showing how much she cared about him...

"Oh wow, Cheesy, you must've really liked that!"

Pinkie was looking at him cockily, her hooves lowering as she stopped blowing so she could speak.

"Is it really that obvious?" said Cheese as he blushed, embarrassed.

Pinkie only smiled back, winking.

"Well, I'd hate to toot my own horn, but I know I had you on the end of your seat there."

Cheese looked down to see that she was indeed right. Not that he was surprised. That had been wonderful.

"Now it's your turn, big boy! You ready?"

Cheese shook his head, forcing himself back to reality.

"M-my turn?"

Pinkie snorted before letting out a fit of giggles.

"Of course, silly! You don't learn to do it just by listening!"

"Wait, are we playing trombones, or are we... doing it?" asked Cheese, looking up at Pinkie quizzically.

"Hmm... I guess that's up to the reader's imagination at this point! Which do you think we're doing?" Pinkie giggled, oblivious to the craziness of the situation.

“I-I honestly don’t know, but I suppose I don’t mind either option…” Cheese blushed, revealing his feelings honestly.

Pinkie only grinned wider, ready for a long night of fun.

“Well, I hope you’re horny, ‘cause I’m in the mood for some more bone playing!”

Cheese tried to contain his chuckle for as long as he could, but Pinkie’s exuberant mood only made him feel better. He raised his instrument once again, and steeled himself for a long night of boning to come.

That smile was all pinkie needed.

Author's Note

Don't ask me why I wrote this. I don't even know myself. :derpytongue2: