RPG A Really Pony Game

by Shmiam

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Random, Comedy
Length: 4420

Lightning and Crystal start out on their adventure but a few bad choices lead to some bad situations

Lighting Striker and Crystal Flower are going to find themselves submersed in an adventure where they fight bandits and dragons, make friends and foes, and fall asleep a lot. But with a few unfortunate choices these two ponies can discover some of Equestria's most dangerous secrets. Will they be able to save the world?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-20 01:24:22 UTC

Chapter 2 - Tired Ponies

Chapter 2

“Our her- I mean, peasants,” Cyrtsal corrected herself.

“Hey! I wanna be a hero! Not a filthy peasant!” Lightning whines.

“Fine, we’ll compromise. Our ADVENTURERS,” She put much emphasis on the word. “Are traveling along a small trail. The only possessions they have on them are a few bits, some random trinkets from the scrap heap, a dagger each, and the clothes on their backs. This is everything they own because they sold almost everything they own in order to fund their recently failed expedition to run the dragon out of Equestria, With spirits low, the pair is very vulnerable to attack which a small band of thieves notice, and take advantage of. You are under attack, what do you do?”

“What! Who! Oh, sorry. I sorta fell asleep. What did you ask me?” Lightning asked.

“I said that bandits, five of them, are approaching us and I asked you what your character is going to do. Don’t worry about answering, you already did,” Crystal smirked. “Lightning falls asleep.”

“No! No fair!” Lightning complained.

“Hey man, I don’t make the rules,” Crystal said flatly.

“Yes you do!” Lightning was becoming agitated.

“Oh, I do, don’t I! Well, the “Rulemaker”, I, says you’re asleep. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to get back to the game,” Crystal said, smiling a mug smile. Lightning grumbled something and Crystal continued. “As I was saying, Lightning falls asleep on the spot and the thieves approach the party, quietly laughing at the sight of easy pickings. Crystal moves over to kick Lightning awake but instead pickpockets his dagger in doing so. Lightning falls to the ground still fast asleep. Crystal now has two daggers in her possession in which she can wield at the same time. Unexpectedly, she darts at the nearest thief and ends up severing open his neck. She then-“ Crystal begins but Lightning interrupts.

“Wait one second, where is the blood?” Lightning asked, confused.

“Well, I, uhhhh…” Crystal says sheepishly. “I really don’t like blood.”

“Well you need to come up with something that will come out.” Lightning suggested.

“Hmmmmmm…” Crystal thinks a moment before she continues, “The cut begins to rapidly ooze syrup,” Crystal said happily.

“Seriously? Whatever, “Rulemaker”.” Lightning said sarcastically.

“Yes. Now, back to the story. The bandit begins to drown in his own syrup as if the pain from the wound wasn’t enough. He dies. Crystal turns her attention to the next bandit who is still in shock after seeing this filly open up his comrade’s neck. Crystal takes advantage of this and kills him with an easy stab in the chest. Lightning all of a sudden wakes up. Still sleepy, he slowly sits up and observes what’s going on around him. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“Well let’s see…” Lightning ponders. “I don’t have any weapons or anyth… Oh! I know! I loot the bandits you killed!”

“Hm. Good choice. As I move on the prepared bandits to kill them you decide to see what the bandits were carrying. You receive one dagger and one short sword. Which do you keep?” Crystal asked.

“The sword. Daggers are stupid,” Lightning decided.

“Fine. You equip the short sword. Now what?”

“Well, I go help you of course!”

“Lightning runs and joins Crystal in the syrupy battle for life or death. As Crystal is in a sort of stalemate with one bandit, you run after another one who, by the looks of it, is literally stunned by your incredible speed as you dart toward him. With two quick slashes, he falls to the ground and bleeds to death. There is only one other bandit other than Crystal’s but you do not see him. You easily help me finish off the last bandit. Oh! Thank you friend! Seems you finally decided to wake up,” Crystal said.

“Crystal, we may be in danger. One bandit is not dead and I don’t see him anywhere!” Lightning was very worried.

“Very nice job staying in character! Keep it up! Ahem! What do you mean Ligh-“ she pauses, “Oh crap. You’re right. We must be careful as we continue to Ponyville. The two heroes gather their meager belongings and continue trotting down the road.”

Chapter 3 - The Rabbit

Chapter 3

        “The two ponies stroll down the dirt road at a steady pace. Every once in a while they would stop to take a potty break or Lightning would often complain that he was tired or hungry. At about noon, you two see what looks like a small trail. So small, it could be the creation of maybe a rabbit or something. The only reason you notice it is because there are bits of very bright and colorful flowers strewn along the miniature path. What do you do?” Crystal finally asked.

“Some random path? Hmmmm… I decide that we should take the path!” Lightning declares.

“Well ok, let’s just hope it’s safe…” Crystal says nervously. “The two begin to trot down the “path” tripping over man different obtrusive objects, smacking faces into many branches, and are cut by small thorns,” Crystal explained.

“Ouch!” Lightning said out of nowhere.

“What?” Crystal said.

“I’m staying in character and you should too. Ouch! These branches and thorns are awful! I can feel syrup already coming out of my cuts!” Lightning said.

"After quite some time the sky begins to turn red with the coming of night. The entire walk has been completely uneventful. We shouldn’t have taken this path. We’re lost, have no food, and its almost night! Nice going genius,” Crystal said with a very sarcastic tone.

“Well I didn’t know it would-“ Lightning is cut off by Crystal’s screech.

“Eeek! Up ahead of the pair is a dead bunny. The trail of flower stops at the corpse. A lot of dried syrup is around the bunny which shows this was a savage kill. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“Hmmm… I guess I inspect the bunny further,” Lightning decided.

“Lightning goes to the bunny and inspects it at a closer range but as you kneel before it you feel a sharp pierce in your side. As you turn to see what it is the same thing is felt from your leg. Your eyes begin to blur as you slowly slip out of consciousness. You fall to the ground and Crystal realizes you have been shot by two darts. She bounds in the direction the two objects came from in order to find the assailant. As she runs through bushes and branches she is hit three times by darts and also faints,” Crystal said.

“Can I do anything?” Lightning asked.

“You’re unconscious on the ground. So no, you can’t,” Crystal said sourly.

“No need to be snappy,” Lightning said, a little hurt.

“Well you managed to put our two characters in the most awful situation possible,” Crystal said sharply.

“Ok, I’m sorry,” Lightning said as he hung his head.

“Alright. Lightning slowly comes to and you feel as if you are floating on a cloud. You slowly begin to distinguish that you are actually being carried. As you try to sit up you realize you cannot but as your eyes unblur, you see the trees going by over your head as you are being carried. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“I attempt to ask where I am,” Lightning decided.

“You are able to speak so you ask and you are answered with another dart in your side before you finish the question,” Crystal said.

“Dang it!”

“Yeah, well, it might have done you better to have just sat there and shut up,” Crystal said, smiling a little. “The next time you wake up you realize that you are no longer moving. From further analysis, you also make out that you are lying on a soft sort of bed in a small room. You can also tell there are other ponies in this room. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“I try to see who is in the room without making a very noticeable motion,” Lightning decided.

“Finally, a good decision! As you begin to slightly move your head to survey the room you realize that it is a room full of ponies lying in beds just like you. As you scan the room your eyes stop on one pony in particular. You see Crystal, me, lying across the room from you and you feel relief at the sight of seeing her safe. Or, are you safe here? You are very unsure. One other thing you notice is that there doesn’t seem to be anypony guarding you and the others. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“I try to go to you and wake you up,” Lightning said.

“As you are getting up you feel a sharp pain speed down your back. You feel your back with you hoof and there is no syrup. In fact, there are no wounds at all. You realize the pain must have been from stiffness. That would mean you must have been lying there for a long time. Just how long? You slowly make your way over to Crystal. Once you reach her you nudge her with your hoof a few times,” Crystal said.

“Pst! Crystal, wake up! I don’t know where we are,” Lightning whispered.

“As you are next to Crystal, you begin to hear hoofsteps coming from behind a wall. With further inspection, you realize there is a hidden door there. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“I fall asleep!” And so he did.

Chapter 4 - Scars

Chapter 4

“Lightning falls to the ground and feigns sleep. Two ponies walk into the room. Although you cannot see them, you can hear what they are saying,” Crystal said.

“So which ones are next?” asks mysterious pony one.

“Well, we just got two new ones from the rabbit lure,” says pony two.

“We need to put then through Rest though. Do they need The Shot?” asks pony one.

“No, The Shot expires every week. Its only been five days. Don’t want to waste more Shots then we have to,” explains pony two.

“Alright. Who are we taking to The Wash?” pony one asks.

“Hmmm… lets take these three. They already got The Shot four days ago,” pony two decides.

“Well, we need to prod them first. We got to make sure we didn’t pick up any Pure-Bloods. Heh, that’ll be the day. They’ve been long gone since The Master was born,” pony one says.

“Yeah, well, you can never be too certain,” pony two says as you hear him kick the three ponies five times each. “Yep, today doesn’t seem to be the day. The thing too is that if they were Pure-Blood, then they would have been up and out of this room. Then there would have been a crisis. Heh, its funny how weak these sleeping fools are.” Both ponies laugh as they exit the room.

“You quickly scan the room and you see the spot the three ponies used to be in. Nothing else has changed except the hidden door seems to still be cracked open. The guards can no longer be heard. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“This is a lot of random information to absorb. It doesn’t help when you throw a lot of vague, unspecific proper nouns at me. I keep trying to wake you,” Lightning said.

“You shake me, slap me, and speak into my ear but I do not wake up. Now what?” Crystal asks.

“Fine. I open the door and snoop around,” Lightning decided.

“Fair enough. You slowly open the door and walk down the hall. About halfway down this dimly lit, concrete hall, you sneeze. Not very loudly but a sneeze all the same. You then open your eyes and see the light of laser beams deflecting off the water vapor you sprayed out when you sneezed. You also realize that you are standing in the middle of one. No alarm goes off. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“Wow, lasers? Nice touch. Ummm… I guess I keep going,” Lightning decided.

“As you continue walking, no alarm sounds. You reach the end of the hall and find a door. You faintly hear voices from the other side. What do you do?” Crystal asked.

“I eavesdrop on their conversation,” Lightning said.

“Ok. At the start of their conversation, you can tell that one of the speakers is from earlier and that there is a new voice talking to him,” Crystal explained.

“So you have picked more for The Wash?” asks pony three.

“Yes sir. They all got their Shots and they came from the arrow lure,” explains pony two.

“So they have different “lures” set up in order to take ponies,” Lightning said.

“Wow, you actually put two and two together for once! Now hush up and pay attention,” Crystal scolded.

“Fantastic. Begin their training immediately after The Wash. Our preparations are almost complete and, as The Master expected, no Pure-Bloods shall interfere. I shall report to The Master for he will be pleased. You are relieved sir,” pony three says.

“Thank you sir,” you can hear pony two trot off but pony three is not heard.

“You now hear pony three’s hoofsteps and they are getting louder. What do you do?” Crystal asks.

“Oh sugar. I uhh…” Lightning thinks a moment.

“Too late. The door in front of you begins to open. The pony you meet on the other side is maroon, very buff, has a black mane, some scars, and a sword for a cutie mark. He stares at you, utterly in shock,” Crystal says.

The pony finally finds a hold on himself. “Thank Celestia you’re here!” The pony sounds relieved.

“What?” Lightning says, confused.

“You… oh no. You need to leave here now! Come! Follow me!” The pony is franticly urging you down a hall.

“Wait, I have a friend in there!” Lightning points back to the room he was sleeping in.

“Well then go get ‘em! We don’t have much time! Hurry!” The pony pushes Lightning down the hall.

“You go up to Crystal, me, and you lift her onto your back and begin trotting back to that pony,” Crystal explained. “The pony shows you the way to a small hatch in the ceiling.”

“That should lead you close to Ponyville. Once there. Met up in the Library  with my partner. Just tell the Librarian you want to check out a book on Dragon Origins and a book on Poisons. She’ll know what to do. My name is Scar Stride, by the way,” Scar says.

“I’m Lightning Striker and this is Crystal Flower,” Lightning says.

“Lightning Striker, you have no idea how important you are,” and with that, Scar shoves Lightning and Crystal out the hatch and they find themselves at the road.

“Not far down the road you can see Ponyville’s skyline. It is night so it would be hard to miss,” Crystal explained.

“Don’t worry Crystal, we’re almost home.” And Lightning began trotting down the road once again.

Chapter 5 - The Library

Chapter 5

“Nothing eventful happens along the road before you reach Ponyville. Once you get there, there is a guard in front of you. Obviously, he is guarding the way to town, but why would he need to?” Crystal says.

“Hello sir!” Lightning says, happily.

“Halt. Might I ask, why are you carrying an unconscious pony?” The guard is very skeptical.

“Oh, she is my friend and she was injected with some strange sort of venom or something,” Lightning explains, in short.

“And how do you expect me to believe that?” The guard says, agitated.

“Behind the guard, a yellow pony with a pink mane and butterflies as her cutie mark stops and notices you,” Crystal explains.

“Oh, um, Mr. Guard, I know those two ponies. They live next to me. Oh my! What’s wrong with Crystal!” The yellow pony says.

“Fluttershy! Am I glad to see you! Crystal has been injected with venom or something,” Lightning explains.

“So you know these ponies?” The guard asks Fluttershy.

“Oh yes. They live a little ways down the road from me. Now, if you could let them through please, Crystal needs a hospital! So can you let them through, um, please?” Fluttershy says shyly.

“Fine,” The guard begrudgingly moves.

“You an Fluttershy rush toward the Ponyville Hospital with Crystal Flower slung on your back,” Crystal says.

“Crystal seems to have put on some weight!” Lightning says jokingly.

“Hey!” Crystal exclaims.

‘What?” Lightning asks.

“Just because it’s a game doesn’t mean you get to call me fat!”

“You know what, just for that, I’m going to call you fat more often!”

“Uhg, whatever. So you and Fluttershy make it to the hospital,” Crystal explains.

“Doctors! This pony has been injected with something!” Lightning yells.

All the doctors rush in different directions until one goes to Lightning and scoops Crystal onto a rolling bed and says “Come back in about a week!” And then he rushes down some halls.

“One week, huh. I guess I should go to the library now,” Lightning decides.

“Oh, yes. I need to go back and look for my poor Angel! She has been missing for weeks…” Fluttershy says sadly.

Lightning realizes how the dead bunny in the woods may not be the best thing to bring up right now. “Well, my best wishes!” Lightning says before heading to the library.

“You walk into the tree that is the library. The pony you assume is the librarian is scanning a shelf looking for a book when you walk in. She turns around and introduces herself,” Crystal explains.

“Hello there! I’m Twighlight Sparkle. Is there anything I can help you with?” Twighlight asks.

“Yes, I, ummm…. Crystal, I can’t remember what Scar Stride told me to do,” Lightning confesses.

“You should have written it down. Now get back to the game!” Crystal says.

“Fine. I would like to check out a book on… uhh… oh yah! That’s it! I need a book on Dragon Origins and a book on poison!” Lightning declares triumphantly.

“All of a sudden, you drop to your knees and slowly begin to slip out of consciousness. Your brain registers that you were just hit in the back of the head with something before you finally pass out,” Crystal explains.

“Yay, I fell asleep!” Lightning cheers. Lightning’s head falls to the table as he pretends to fall asleep.

“Lightning-“ Crystal says but doesn’t finish.

“Hm? What was that Crystal?” Lightning asks. He lifts up his head and realizes Crystal Flower is no longer there. All of a sudden he feels a sharp pain in the back of his head.

He falls asleep. Well, actually, he wakes up.

Chapter 6 - Spike

Chapter 6

The blue colt with a yellow mane and a lightning bolt cutie mark awoke on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar place. He looked around hazily noticing a window to his right and a bookshelf straight across from him. As he sat up he realized he was higher up than the rest of the room. Down below, there were even more bookshelves. As he examined the room, he heard footsteps coming up a flight of stairs. Then, a white pony with a pink mane bursts through an open doorway and franticly says “Lightning!? Lightning, are you ok?!”

Lightning realizes that it’s Crystal Flower, his dear friend. Although, his memories of her are limited to the two of them going home after failing to beat the dragon, killing some thieves, being captured, and escaping and coming here. “Crystal, I… I hardly remember anything.”

“Oh, fantastic! I thought you said you hardly hit him Spike!” Crystal shouts in anguish.

“If he has amnesia, it isn’t because of me. Trust me, I know exactly how hard I wacked him and it just wasn’t enough to do that. I do wonder how he got amnesia though,” Spike says.

“Are you Scar Stride’s partner?” Lightning asks.

“Yes, that’s me. The name’s Spike. Now, why don’t you come down here and I’ll fill you in,” Spike says. Lightning makes his way down to the other two and sits. “Now, to begin, we are the only four ponies who know of all this trouble,” Spike explains.

“Wait a second, who the heck is Scar Stride?” Crystal asks. Lightning fills her in on everything she missed. “Wow, that’s confusing,” Crystal says.

“Yes, now let me explain. Those ponies you ran into were the Dragon Legion. They intoxicate ponies with their Shots so they don’t run away and then when those ponies’ bodies are at their weakest point after about 2 weeks, they “brainwash” them by using some sort of magic that Scar Stride can’t even pinpoint. That’s how they convert ponies. Now, their master is the leader of the dragons. Specifically, the one you two went to try and kill. That dragon, Galar, is the leader of the dragons and he tells Snarebrood, leader of the Legion, what to do. Now, they fear the pure-bloods because their blood is so pure, it makes them more able to survive and gives them great strength and energy. Not much is known about them and their history because Galar whipped out the last of them a few years into his adulthood,” Spike explains.

“But, those two guards said there haven’t been any pure-bloods since Galar’s birth,” Lightning questions.

“Yes, well nopony knew of the Crusaders. Not to be confused with those three little fillies, they were a secret group of 3 who were the last pure-bloods. Well, actually, one of them wasn’t really a pure-blood, but she fought like one. The only reason they failed was because they didn’t possess the 3 Sacred Ruins. These runes must be wielded by those pure of heart and soul. They are the only way to stop Galar. But, he has become so powerful that only pure-bloods who use these runes may stop him. But now I fear his power may stop even that. That is why we need you Lightning Striker,” Spike says.

“Dang Spike, for a baby you sure… wait a second, you mean I’m a pure-blood!? Me? Wow,” Lightning says, surprised.

“Well, yes, the Dragon Legion’s entire base is run on dragon power, er, well, more like Galar’s very soul. That’s why you were able to bypass their security and their shots. Scar Stride is also a pure-blood who works as a sort of double-agent. He woke up, like you, was immune to the wash and gradually rose in rank until he was Snare’s second in command. He was able to snoop around Ponyville as an assignment but instead he came to me. We used to be very good friends when I was very small. I would usually only see him around Ponyville and he would always give me a gem. Sigh, good times… ahem, anyways. We studied as much as we could and now we’re experts on them. Well, except for the Wash. Lightning, do you wish to help save Equestria?” Spike asks.

“Will I be rewarded and be famous?” Lightning asked hopefully.

”No, nopony will ever know or can know. Nopony must know of these dark secrets. Will you still do it?” Spike asks.

“Darn. Fine, I’ll save the world or whatever. Can you get Scar to quit his dayjob and help me? Crystal needs to come too,” Lightning demands.

“I’m sure Scar could convince Snare to allow him to take a leave to go on an extended spy mission and Crystal is strong enough to go. One thing though, Crystal isn’t pure so I’m not sure she could help in the final battle,” Spike says.

“She’ll have to, there are 2 pures and 3 runes,” Says a mysterious voice in the doorway.

“Scar!” Spike says happily as Scar takes a seat.

“Yep, it’s me. I heard the plan. It’ll work. Snare granted me leave and I didn’t even have to ask,” Scar says.

“Did anypony realize these two were missing?” Spike asked.

“Nope. They weren’t in their files because I got rid of all the ones with them in it,” Scar says with a sly grin.

“Fantastic! Alright, you 3 better get some rest, we will discuss our next move tomorrow. Have a good-nights rest and make sure you’re ready,” Spike says.

“Sleep? Gladly,” Scar says as he falls asleep on the spot. Lightning went back up to the bed he was in.

“That seems to be the only bed other than sleeping down here with Mr. Snores-A-Lot,” Crystal says jokingly.

“Then come into bed with me,” Lightning offers. Crystal gets into bed next to Lightning.

“Good night Lightning.”

“Good night Crystal.”

And they fell asleep, together.

End Part 1 -

Chapter 1 - A Short Indroduction

Chapter 1

“Alright then, so how exactly is this game played?” asked the young blue colt, with the yellow mane, and the lightning cutie mark.

“Well,” explained the young filly whose mane was a light pink mixed with red, white torso, and a cutie  mark with a crystal of pink atop a flower stem, “The game is like this Lightning Striker, you make a character and you pretend to be them. Then, I narrate a story in which you must successfully guide your character through. It’s called and “RPG”.”

“What does that stand for?” Lightning questioned.

“I can’t even remember. My older friends taught me this a while ago so I may not do very well,” admitted the white filly.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine Crystal Flower. Don’t worry, I’m easy!” Lightning assured.

“Well alright. I’ll try to recall back to when I overheard them playing this…” Crystal began to think very hard on somewhere to begin. At a loss, she starts unsure. “You, uh, are in the lair, oops, I mean the city with the sword you need for the lair with the tree!”

“Excuse me?” Lightning had a very confused look on his face.

“Uhg, I stink at this!” Crystal seemed to have given up.

“Shouldn’t I make my character so I know who I am?” Lightning inquired.

“Oh yeah! I totally forgot that part! Ok, so who are you?” Crystal asked.

“Lightning Striker.”

“No, I mean your character.”

“Oh, uh…” Lightning pondered a moment and then continued. “I’ll just be myself. Nice and simple!”

“Ok, well then I’ll just be myself too, as not to confuse,” Crystal declared.

“Well then, it’s settled! Now where do we begin?” Lightning asked.