Don't You (Forget About Me)
'Don't You (Forget About Me)'
"Ugh! All this walking is killing my feet!"
I don't mind the walking. After a few minutes of being back in the human world, it came quite naturally; Sunset remarked it was like riding a bicycle, which made sense as an expression once she outlined how common bicycles are as a mode of transport. I can't quite think of the Equestrian equivalent. I'm sure Applejack could come up with several.
"We're not going to find her, you know. The other you, I mean. This world doesn't work that way."
We're looking for Twilight Sparkle -- the human Twilight Sparkle, that is -- in an endless expanse of tight neat rows of tight neat houses. There's nothing like this in Equestria at all. Most of the settlements are small, and even the large ones like Canterlot or Manehatten still retain the signs of being built up organically over time, from a humble locale to a bustling hub. These grid streets are monotonous and seem to stretch to the horizon; you can't even see the tall buildings of the big city from here.
Sunset takes this as a point in this world's favor. I don't have it in me to debate her on it.
"But it seems like there's a lot you don't know about how this world works. You and Celestia, I mean. Figures. She always did kind of frown on extra-curricular research."
She keeps ignoring Princess Celestia's title -- she says it's because she's so used to the human version that she's almost forgotten the pony one, but even with my brief interaction with her I doubt that Principal Celestia would tolerate it either. It's better than what she was calling me, which was just 'Princess' in a tone scathing enough to not be able to be called out as scathing; I eventually told her to stop it and now I'm just Sparkle if she has to use my name.
"She doesn't fill you in on much, does she? I'm surprised you of all people -- sorry, you of all ponies -- put up with being in the dark so often."
I trust Princess Celestia. If she says that it's important to Equestria to go back through the mirror and find my other self, then it's important. I've never felt in the dark with her. Quite the opposite, actually.
Don't think I don't notice that self-correction that wasn't really a self-correction at all back there, by the way. Sunset's been like this since she laid eyes on me, constantly dismissing Equestria and her pony past as a matter of course out of hoof. Hand. It's not like she's gone native, even though she has and still does show incredible flexibility at adapting to this world (I don't think I could have done as well, in her place): it's more like trying to frame an embarrassing secret in a way that makes it seem like you're not embarrassed.
I don't know if she thinks she's fooling me or not.
"This world's not real, you know. It's just a reflection of the world horse-side. Why else do you think you have to use a mirror to get here?"
This world is real. The people here are real. If it was all just a façade, I wouldn't have been able to draw on the friendship of the other versions of my friends the last time I was here. But Sunset seems to think that because this world reflects (double meaning unintended) Equestria, that makes it not real somehow. Hollow. False.
Maybe that's her justification for hurting so many people here. If they're not real, then what does it matter what you've done to them? Nothing will be real until she steps back through the mirror.
"There's magic here, too -- not that wishy-washy friendship stuff, but real legit magic. It's like a backdoor kinda thing, maybe it flows out of the mirror or something. Or leaks out. That's my hypothesis, anyway. I've been able to work a little bit of it. If I can crack how it all works, I won't ever have any reason to go back, I'll have so much of an edge here."
I do wish she'd consider coming back. Deconstructing this world to unlock whatever residual magic is left here, without magical tools to begin with, shows exceptional intelligence. Again, I don't know if I could have done that, having taken over a day to get used to using my hands to open doors instead of my head. I'd love for Sunset to come back to Equestria. I'd give her a title of some kind. Royal adviser, kingdom's magical architect, something like that. She could even decide on it. She'd be valuable in what's to come.
"I might even be able to work at it for centuries, if this place works like I think it does. I'm sure you noticed how we're the same age here even though I've got a few more horse years on you. Time's so strange that I might not even age. Just stay forever young and beautiful. Just like a pony princess does."
That's not completely true; Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have made use of various age spells over their lifetimes. It's funny that ponies just decide that they're immortal. Any unicorn could do it, if they studied the principles behind the spell long enough. Well, I say that as... well, me, but it should be theoretically possible, as there's nothing unreachable about the fundamentals that go into age magic. It just takes practice.
Possibly a lifetime's worth of practice, ironically.
"But yeah. More proof that stuff here isn't completely real. It's not all bad, though -- I mean, who has two thumbs and a wicked leather jacket? This gal right here. ...What? Don't look at me like that, you have leather horse-side too."
We do -- imported from the griffon kingdoms. Griffons as a race are efficient, liking order and disliking waste, and they are meat-eaters. It was like Sunset had forgotten Equestria had carnivores, the way she kept bringing up what went into a human-style hamburger. I did have that one covered from the first time -- one feel of how different these teeth are is all a pony with modest observational skills would need to tell a human is an omnivore, and when one is in Roan, one does as the Roanans do.
No, the reason I'm giving Sunset a look is because... because that's not a reason to stay here, and she must know that. She could even have a griffon-made leather jacket if she came back. I'd buy her one. A welcome home present. Because Equestria is her home, even if she wants to ignore that.
Whether this world is real or not, she doesn't belong here.
"...I'd just give up. You're not going to find her. You. Whatever. But maybe that's the difference between you and me -- I know when I've been set an impossible task just to keep me out of someone's wavy mane for a little while."
That's not the difference between us. There's a phrase that I never really understood until recently -- 'there but for the whims of Fate go I' -- and while I don't think it exactly applies to Sunset and me, I have been thinking about it. We were both favored students of the Princess, both magically gifted, both socially negligent. We started along the same path. But I could never have ended up like Sunset, so angry and so bitter at all she feels she has lost, because I never dreamed I would ever become what I am now. That's the difference between us.
I do wish I could put her back on a road closer to mine, though. I'd press harder than Fate for it, too.
"...Hey, Twilight? Does... has she ever asked about me?"
Suddenly I'm back in the throne room in Canterlot, with Princess Celestia instructing me on my mission. She doesn't mention her former student at all. In fact, it was me who brought Sunset up, on the train platform with the sleek crystal train idling behind me, and I saw something in the princess' eyes I had never seen before: a coldness, a shield held up against further wounds. She told me that she was sad to say she never expected to see Sunset Shimmer back in Equestria again. She said it as a matter of fact, but the sadness she experienced was more than just a turn of phrase. And that was all that was said, the final word.
I lie and tell her Princess Celestia mentions her often, to wonder how she's doing, and that she hopes to see her back home. For a moment there's a glimmer in Sunset's eyes, the spark of hope, and then--
"Yeah, right. Like I'd come back now when I've got it going on over here. Maybe after I'm done having so much fun."
The same cold shield goes up in her. She is right -- she won't come back now, but it's not because she's having a good time. If nothing on this side of the mirror is real, maybe coming back to reality is too much to bear.
I'll try again. After I've found the other Twilight Sparkle, after another thirty moons have passed, I'll try again.
I won't forget about you.
