Ponies Are Like Cats

by Archmage Ludicrous

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 1604

Twilight has a crush who doesn't see her, and so comes to Rarity for advice.

Ponies—particularly the ones who you are head over hooves for—they're simply like cats.

A mini-story of some description to try and cure my writer's block. Probably full of minor errors since I lost my dedicated pre-reader and I've never had a dedicated editor, but my friends and I did our best cleaning it up.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-06 14:50:03 UTC

Ever Possessed With Their Own Ideas

A quiet day at the Carousel Boutique would not be an unpleasant one were there any pony aside from Rarity at the helm. A lack of customers was simply more time to make more things to attract more customers, and so quiet days often gave way to busy ones, and the busy days led to the quiet ones. This was a cycle which many other ponies would be quite content with, working and relaxing, but Rarity failed to find it as fulfilling as one might suspect she would. In fact, the silence in the small Ponyville shop proved to be insufferably irritating, and Rarity often spent it pacing—remembering desires unfulfilled, planning dresses that she could not make, designs that never saw fruition.

The one thing Rarity certainly did enjoy about the quiet days was the opportunity for friends to visit, such as this afternoon when a bell's ringing announced the arrival of Twilight Sparkle on this warm but damp summer morning.

"Rarity?" she called. "Rarity, I... I need a little advice."

"Coming! One second, darling!" Rarity turned from a sketchbook open upon her working space, and trotted swiftly from the workroom to find her friend waiting for her, leaning back and forth from one set of feet to the other in an awkward sort of stationary dance.

"Come in, make yourself comfortable, dear. No need to stand around like you're being tailed by the constabulary. We'll settle in the kitchen, and I suppose I will make you something to settle your nerves."

"Nerves?" said Twilight. "What do you mean, nerves? I'm perfectly fine!"

"Yes dear, I'm sure you are," Rarity chided her, "You're eying the door like you already want to take off, and if you came here wearing any boots, your constant quaking must have shaken them to pieces already."

The kitchen of the boutique was understandably minimal, as was status quo in most of the business-homes of Ponyville, but such that it was comfortably roomy as Rarity stepped in to brew some tea. Even so, Twilight Sparkle's nervous air entering the room made the situation qualitatively less roomy, as if the aggravated air she breathed took up more space than the air would otherwise, crowding the room with its invisible presence, pressing the walls closer together. Rarity shuddered at the feeling.

"Twilight, you must calm down, honestly! I feel as if you do not sit down this instant, I shall run screaming for the hills rather than deal with any further awkwardness in the room."

"Eh... Sorry, Rar-"

"Upbupupup!" Rarity interrupted. "I shall not have you running off! Just sit down!"

Twilight winced, glancing back to the door before sitting down at the table. There was a good deal of quiet while she waited for the tea to be brewed, and as Rarity prepared a plate of some form of biscuits, the aura of anxiety permeating the room gradually faded away. The once tense muscles of the guest relaxed, and she took to a contemplative position, hooves propping a purple head over the table. She hardly stirred as Rarity slid a tray of biscuits onto the small table, and when a small cup of warm tea was poured on either side of the table, Twilight Sparkle still remained without response. She only looked up when Rarity sat down opposite to her and started talking.

"Now Twilight," she practically purred. "I know you aren't here about dresses. After all, the weather is so dreadfully humid that you'd ruin anything you bought before you even reached your home. So what really brings you here? What could you possibly need advice on that you could not provide for yourself? Tell me everything. And don't let your tea get cold, I brewed it somewhat lukewarm as it is."

"Lukewarm? Why would you brew the tea lukewarm?"

Rarity waved her hoof in the air. "It was convenient. Continue."

Twilight lifted the teacup, and took a very, very long sip.

"I don't want to come across as insulting... but I really came here expecting that... well... it's a bit awkward..."

"Go ahead, darling! You know I won't take it personally."

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I did know you wouldn't take it personally," she said, smiling. "I just had a lot of trouble convincing myself that." Rarity continued to watch intently, until it dawned upon Twilight that she still had yet to complete her thought. "Oh!" she said, somewhat embarrassed. "My apologies. I kind of come here expecting that you've, you know, been around the block a few times. I er... I hope I didn't come in here making false assumptions."

Rarity chortled a little. "No, Twilight, you're safe in that assumption. In a romantic context, I assume?"

"Uh, yes, in fact." Twilight cleared her throat. "I was looking for a little advice regarding that area."

"Not to worry, Twilight darling, I will give you the best advice that I can personally muster!" Rarity pledged. "After all, I always am going on about what's 'so romantic' and what isn't, so I assure you that coming to me for advice on the matter is actually quite flattering!"

Twilight smiled, then breathed out deeply. "Thanks, Rarity. I really did need your help."

Another awkward silence held reign before Rarity gestured for Twilight to continue, setting the conversation into action once again.

"So... Rarity... I have a... romantic interest. And... and well, quite frankly I'm having trouble in that I can't really get them to see that I'm even there!"

Rarity winced. "Oooh... that always is the hardest part, isn't it?" Twilight nodded even as Rarity continued. "When they pass you by without ever taking special notice when you try so very hard to make hints—or even worse, when they treat it as the actions of a dear friend, rather than of romantic motivation, and so they sit just barely out of reach?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"Dear Twilight, that problem you have presented is the problème magnifique of half the romantic literature ever to be written. It is forever to be one of the greatest dramas of all time: 'How do I get them to notice me?' You have not presented me with a simple problem, Twilight."

"Oh, I'm sor–" Twilight began to apologize.

"But!" Rarity interjected. "I may in fact have a solution!"

Twilight breathed another heavy sigh of relief. "Really? What is it?"

"It's not exactly an 'it,' Twilight. A thought process, an idea is what I think would help you conceptualize this more easily. I'm assuming you prefer concepts, you're a very conceptual pony. Now you see, it has something to do with what my father told me when I was young, and had a colt who really just blew me away, but yet never noticed me. He told me this: 'Ponies are like cats: ever possessed with their own ideas.'"

"How does that help?" Twilight asked exasperatedly.

"Just think about it for a second! Take Opal, for example. I would be willing to wager that you've never laid a hoof on her by chasing her, or calling her name, right?"

"No, I haven't, come to think of it."

"And so, the way with love is quite usually the way with cats. To try and grasp attention fails not because of a lack of effort on your part, or a lack of attentiveness on their part, but simply because of the nature of the thing. You cannot call a cat to come to you, but you can pet it when it comes around, you see?"

Twilight was about to speak, when something touched her leg and she glanced down. She saw Opalescence, purring as she butted her head into Twilight's leg. Twilight hesitated before speaking again, but eventually she managed to get her thoughts out. "I think I understand."

"Mhmm. What do you think I mean?"

"Well," Twilight pondered. "I think you're trying to say that if I go out actively trying to get attention from my love interest, it's not going to work. You're saying that the best way to go about it is to wait for the opportunity to come to me."

"Exactly!"

"I disagree with one thing, though."

"What?"

"Well, what if I were to stop going out of my way to drop hints, but instead wound up ignoring them, and they continued to never know I was interested?"

"Oh, trust me Twilight," Rarity chuckled. "If you love them, you'll give away plenty of hints, whether you want to or not."

"Oh!" exclaimed Twilight, once again somewhat consumed in thought. "I suppose I'll think that over." She got up, and started to leave. "Bye Rarity!" she called. "Thank you for the tea!"

"Don't mention it!" Rarity replied as her friend walked out the door. "Anything for a friend!"

As the door closed shut, Rarity sighed as Opalescence jumped up onto the table. "Whatever shall I do with you, cat? I assure you that you won't find those biscuits appetizing." The cat walked slowly over to Rarity's cup of tea instead, and started to drink from it.

"Ah yes, you might find my cold tea very interesting, though." She sank back to a sit in front of her tea, and absentmindedly stroked Opal, listening to the onslaught of purrs. "That Twilight Sparkle," said Rarity to her cat. "She's quite a lot like a cat, wouldn't you agree?"

Standing up to the expected response from her cat—which would of course be no response—she began to walk back to her workroom, chuckling half-heartedly. "I guess that's what I get for getting my hopes up. Maybe next time, maybe next time..."