Daring Do and The Golden Shower
Daring Do was lying on her bed, her eyes half closed. She had just came back from the Democratic Republic of Zebrica, where she spent three months in the middle of the desert, surrounded by scorpions, Zebrican separatists, and the tribes of cannibals, her only companions being a crazy camel who spent the whole quest trying to convince her that there was an enormous town on the bottom of the ocean, built of cyclopic stones, and dwelled by an eldritch abomination with lots of tentacles, and a bear, who was a well-known survival expert.
Thank Celestia for him, she thought. Without his advice, she’d either die or go mad, becoming the Great Old Ones’ cultist. She couldn’t help but think how to describe that adventure in her new book – after all, they found King Solomane’s mines and went back home with a large loot. Of course, she’d have to change a few details.
For example, that one time when they ran out of water. She still didn’t tell anypony how they managed to deal with that problem, even though the bear was quite open in that matter. She shuddered. Still, there was something interesting, maybe even exciting about that.
And now there was that stallion in her house. When Daring Do called him, she expected him to be like any other pony, but when she opened the door for him, she just stood in awe, admiring his body, before letting him in. Almost two feet taller than she was, and almost impossibly muscular.
Calm your wings, Daring… she thought, trying not to stare at his flank when he went to her bathroom. Three months in the desert was a long time. Of course, she was in a company, but while for some ponies the fact that their lover was of different species wasn’t an obstacle, she was rather old-fashioned in that matter. Also, neither the camel, nor the bear were hot enough. As a result, since she came back to Equestria, even the smallest gust of wind was enough for her wings to spread open.
“I’ll tell you when I’ll be ready, Miss Yearling,” the stallion said, going to the bathroom. She lay back on the bed. Her muscles were still tense after the journey, and all she wanted was some relaxation. She’d never think that after spending so much time in extreme temperatures, all she’d want after going home would be a stream of warm liquid on her face.
Come on, Daring, you’re getting old, she thought, You’re now more of madame A.K. Yearling than Daring Do the Fearless Adventurer. Few years ago you wouldn’t even bother going home, instead choosing to go for another quest. And now you’re lying in bed, while there’s a hot stallion in your bathroom.
Of course, he was there. As soon as she came back home, she immediately felt that she needed him there. And, as it had to be done anyway, she decided to make some dream of hers come true. Something she dreamed of since that night on the desert, only few miles from the mysterious mines of King Salomane.
She knew that the stallion was a master of his job. She heard about him from her editor, who was utterly pleased with his services, and just couldn't stop praising him. Not to mention that he had helped her to clean the kitchen afterwards. When he entered her house, she shot a quick glance at his tools. It was only a short stare, but she realised that he was a professional, who wasn’t afraid of any kind of job, no matter how dirty or complicated it was. He was truly somepony able to work at any place, under any circumstances, fulfilling even the weirdest and most extravagant wishes of his customers. It was just somepony she needed.
Her wish was surely uncommon. At least she hadn’t heard about anypony who’d want such thing to be done to herself. Even the most stuck-up nobles, who were spending millions of bits on silly toys, didn’t want the thing she wanted. That was probably the most exciting part of it.
Daring Do wasn’t a noble, nor she was stuck-up. Yet, she was rich and she finally wanted to make use of it, even though what she wanted to do could be seen as extravagant or even crazy by some ponies. She didn’t care. She was always fond of exploring new grounds, going somewhere where no pony dared to go before.
She moaned, imagining the moment when she’d finally be able to take off her outfit, spread her wings and wait for the stream to contact her body. She wanted it so much. She wanted to bathe in it forever, just lying there, not thinking about anything. The idea seemed peculiar at first. When she first mentioned it to her companions back in Zebrica, they laughed at her. They both had different ideas how to spend their share of money. She shrugged. She doubted that buying a submarine to visit the underwater town, or buying enough insects to eat them for the whole life could top that.
“I’m done,” the stallion said, walking out of her bathroom. She jumped out of bed and darted forward, following him.
When she entered the bathroom, her eyes widened in awe. Her jaw dropped and her wings spread, hitting the door frame.
“Miss Yearling, do you want to try–”
“OF COURSE I WANT!”
She darted forward, and knelt down, her eyes closed and mouth open. Soon, she was enjoying a feeling of warmth on her face, dripping down on her body, her fur soaking with it. Letting out a little moan, she started to rub her body with her hooves, shuddering from unspeakable pleasure.
The stallion cleared his throat.
“Excuse me, Miss Yearling,” he said, “I only wanted you to check if the hot water pipe is connected properly. I thing you should wait with taking a shower till I leave.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said, closing the tap. She opened her eyes, looking at her new shower – the pipes and the shower head were made of pure gold, taps encrusted with gems. The shower base was made of golden and silver strips forged together in a delicate pattern.
“I’d rather not show it to many ponies,” the plumber said, “Y’know, somepony may try to steal it.”
“Yes, of course,” she replied absent-mindedly, looking at her reflection in a shower head. She could almost see the hearts in her own eyes.
It is said that diamonds are mare’s best friends. Daring Do was an exception. Her best friend was gold, and, judging by some objects that could be found under her bed if someone took a closer look, it was a friendship with benefits.
“And I’d think about some insurance if I were you. And a burglar alarm. My cousin has a company which makes burglar alarms, if you’re interested.”
“Leave me a calling card,” she said. She went with him to the living room, where she gave him the money – a rather large sum, but it was totally worth it. She no longer paid attention to him – all she wanted was to go back to the bathroom and take a shower. The sand in her fur was driving her insane, and when she’d gotten back home she’d discovered that her old shower finally died. And, as she came back from King Solomane’s mines with a sack full of gold…
“Thank you very much,” she said to the plumber, and closed the door quickly, ready to bathe in the hot water and decadence. For a moment he just stood in front of her house with a toolbox and a bag full of bits on his back.
“Artists…” he muttered, shaking his head, and went back to the town.
Author's Note
A short thing I invented while taking a shower.
I wanted to link the song from "Goldfinger" here, but, as far as I like Sean Connery as James Bond, I just can't stand Shirley Bassey's voice.
