Chapters .until the last pony is ferried.
._.
. i heard her whimpers from across the stygian waters .
. i nearly dropped my pole that very instant .
. composing myself, i pivoted the raft towards the sound of those delicate little sobs .
. she was not easy to spot along the pale shore; droves of anguished souls clambered up and down the rocky banks of the raven river .
. all of them wailed and howled with their collective torment, but none of them had the voice of this one pony, a voice that fluttered through the great ebony sphere on gossamer wings .
. at last, i found her: a splotch of yellow effulgence that clung to the shore just as frightfully as she clung to her own color .
. i knew it was only a matter of time before she became as pale and aimless as the older spirits all around her .
. drawing my pole through the water, i pushed my ferry towards her particular strand of the calcified coast .
. as i approached, the souls of the dead heard the break in the waters, and they all crowded along the shore, wailing in a hundred tongues as they all waved their own strips of metal .
. the coins were as varied as the melancholic faces flashing before me, some of them freshly shined, some of them jaded by the eons that had worn them to rust .
. i ignored them all, instead pounding my rod into the bone shoals as i forced the necrotic masses to part ways, exposing the yellow figure like a forgotten treasure beyond death's curtain .
. perhaps she was startled by the sudden silence, for she looked up at the shivering crowd, and then she turned her tear-stained face to me .
. i slowly reached a hoof out from underneath my cloak and held it towards her .
. she sniffled and spoke in a voice that brought song to the abyss .
. but... but I do not have a coin .
. i gestured to her all the same, waving my hoof patiently while i remained moored in front of her .
. with a quivering lip, she stood up and approached the coldly lapping waters .
. as it became apparent that she was the one receiving passage, the rest of the souls stumbled in, murmuring with indistinguishable sorrow and anger as they tried to crowd her out .
. swinging my pole out in a wide swath, i drew the cowardly spirits back, giving the mare room to leap towards the raft .
. she didn't have the strength to clear the waters, but i knew this .
. with a strong hoof, i pulled her onto the boat, and ushered her towards the center .
. she sat there, trembling, her blue eyes squinting from the pale glow that my lantern gave as it dangled ever so faithfully from the bow .
. dipping my pole into the shallow waters, i cast us off, putting distance between us and the purgatorial shore .
. as we drew away, the wails of the dead grew more and more pronounced, for they all knew it would be days, months, years, or even centuries before i came back for any one of them .
. those same cries went cold, of course, as my raft drifted off into the onyx depths of the river .
. now it was just two of us: the ferrypony and the passenger.
. the silence did not solace the pony; she clung to the edge of the raft as her tears doubled in intensity .
. i was so foolish. i should never have gone into everfree on my lonesome. i knew how dangerous it was. i've seen what could happen to my friends if they weren't careful. and yet, still, when i heard about the sick manticore, i went by myself to tend to him. twilight said it was infected with acute chaotic influenza and not even discord could save it. but i didn't want to believe that. i wanted to believe that anything could be nursed back to health with just a little bit of kindness and affection. and i died for my foolishness. i trotted into the jaws of that poor, suffering thing, and... i died for it .
. i ferried us along, silently, like we were one with the rippling black waves .
. she shook, buckled, and collapsed into her seat .
. the raft quivered from every trembling sob her body had left to give before oblivion's final embrace .
. i died young. i abandoned my friends. i made a mistake and now they are alone without me. how could i be so selfish? they need me. they need all of the elements that they can get. especially after what we've lost. they're still in mourning... they're still so sad and confused and all i did was add to their sorrow. oh, i'm a terrible, terrible friend. if only i had a chance to speak to them one more time, to tell them how much i loved them and cared about them... and that i'm so sorry for leaving them as early as i did.
. i glanced down, and saw that her color was draining .
. every yellow contour of her coat and every pink hue of her mane was ribboning out into the formless ether .
. that is what made me speak for the first time in years .
. you have not abandoned them. even now, you speak to your friends, every hour of every day, without fail .
. she glanced up at me with a gasp; i saw a dark hood and the faint hint of a pale muzzle reflected in her quivering aquamarine eyes .
. what do you mean? are they here? are they here right now? .
. no, but they will be .
. when? .
. in time, as all souls will arrive here, until the end of all things that carry color and life .
. but... but i don't understand. how can i still be speaking to them? .
. in all the years that i have been ferrying ponies across the river of the dead, i have learned to read them for all of their gifts and for all of their flaws. you have very few of the latter .
. really? .
. you have much kindness in you. for it to persist beyond the veil of death is no tiny accomplishment. i imagine that you were positively radiant with benefaction when you dwelt among the hills and valleys of the living. ponies who were exposed to that couldn't possibly feel robbed now that it is gone, for that awesome warmth and tenderness would undoubtedly linger with them, like a flame that refuses to go out .
. she stared at me with a quivering lip, and the color in her coat stayed, draining no longer .
. you really believe so? .
. i know so; i wouldn't be tasked with such an important function if it was not within my ability to read souls the way i do .
. she exhaled calmly .
. this far out, her warm breath glowed with as much brilliance as the lantern of my raft, and it lit up her face with a renewed warmth that dried the tears from her eyes .
. it brings me great comfort to think that i have left such an impact on my friends that they would remember me so fondly .
. kindness is more than a memory. it is its very own lifeblood, a gift that keeps on giving. you will have touched the lives of ponies for generations, including those that you'll never have the grace to meet .
. she gazed solemnly ahead .
. we were approaching a lone island, in the center of which there lingered a lone pond, bleak and featureless like a black hole .
. will i ever meet those ponies, or my friends again, for that matter? .
. we will all become one with the darkness, for it is our path to tread since before the dawn of time. the only lines we can hope to forge are those etched by the compassion we have shown for one another in the bleak time that we've been given. your mark shall be the deepest of all, and if your friends are to find you in even the darkest pit beyond eternity, they will have no trouble at all .
. she smiled at that .
. there was a final tear, and then the raft moored upon the obsidian edges of the island .
. i no longer feel sad for this. thank you .
. hold onto your gratitude, and wait for the spark beyond all things .
. with tender hooves, she stepped out of the boat and approached the pond in the center of the island .
. i watched as her colors trailed after her, sinking like a delicate quilt as she bravely approached the murky pool and tilted into it .
. after a blink, she was gone, dissolving into the nothingness with a sigh .
. the surface of the pond glittered briefly with the snuffing of the candle that was her life .
. and all was peaceful and serene .
. i grabbed my pole, turned away, and pushed the raft towards the distant shore once again .
.until the last pony is ferried.
.__.
. help me! please! somepony, anypony, help me! .
. i knew that many years had passed; i simply didn't feel it until i heard that melodically distressed voice .
. i was already reaching for a pale-stricken soul, pulling him towards my boat when i froze in place, scanning the pale bone shoals with my well-trained gaze .
. at last i saw her, flouncing clumsily through the dense crowd of panic-stricken bodies .
. hers was the most panicked of all, ricocheting left and right as her tear-stained face stared at every grim detail of the riverbank with greater and greater incredulity .
. please! i have to find my friends! my mommy and daddy! my sisters! it wasn't supposed to be like this! this is all wrong! somepony, help me! i must be having a really, really bad dream! .
. immediately, i tossed aside the soul that was reaching out to me .
. the ponies along the shore broke out in a sorrowful siren song, stampeding towards the raft the very moment they sensed that i was ignoring the whole lot of them .
. it mattered little .
. i saw her; i heard her .
. i pushed my raft along the shore to get closer, and when i was finally within shouting range i let loose a booming yell .
. you. climb aboard. now .
. she spun towards me; her blue eyes like twin pools drenched in pain and confusion .
. but i have to find my family and friends! they're supposed to be here to meet me .
. get on board. i will not ask you again .
. still, she trembled, her pink mane flouncing as she glanced left and right across the frenzied figures threatening to drown her .
. finally, with a sigh, i stroked my hoof across my chest and stuck the end of it beneath my hood while i squinted at her .
. i promise you that it will be alright. now get in .
. her eyes were locked on my gesture .
. somehow, it calmed her, and with a quivering lip she approached the shore .
. a few ponies furiously bumped into her; i knocked them back twice as savagely with my pole and yanked the mare in .
. she pratfalled goofily into the center of the raft; i suppose she couldn't help it .
. wasting little time, i pushed against the shore and set us out onto the black waters .
. as the deathly chorus faded behind us, her muttering voice rose in its place .
. i can't believe i wasted all of those years .
. i minded the brackish tide, pushing us along with gentle motions of the pole .
. how do you mean? .
. if i had known that this was all there was ever going to be, i wouldn't have spent the years joking and being a clown .
. i don't see what the difference is. i imagine your friends enjoyed your company. your family too .
. her voice had a twinge of anger to it, sending misty clouds of glowing energy wafting against the lantern .
. but what was the point? my friends aren't here now! there's nothing out here. all that time i spent making ponies laugh, i could have instead been doing something good for the world. it's what my friends deserved after all .
. what makes you say that? .
. after... after fluttershy died, i could tell that things changed. i still played games and told jokes and did things to make my friends laugh, but it all felt different somehow. i always felt that my friends were sad and miserable underneath their smiles. i don't think i made them happy in the same way that i used to .
. sadness is bound to something far more permanent than blood. in one life or the next, it will always be a natural component of existence, so long as existence stands to end .
. then what is the purpose behind any of it? why laugh in the first place? why... live in the first place? i just feel like i've accomplished nothing. my friends needed somepony to lean on, and all i gave them was a silly, stupid, bouncing clown .
. you underestimate the gift that you were able to give, and one that you gave masterfully .
. she glanced back at me, her blue eyes blinking confusedly .
. huh? what gift is that? .
. the gift to create. oblivion awaits everything. it was there at the start and it will be there at the end. however, the chance to live, to dream, to imagine, to inspire are all gifts that are given to the living and the living alone. i sense that you embodied all of these things, and you used them solely to instill a spirit of good. that spirit is something that can never be snuffed out, not by the darkness behind us nor the darkness before. because the fact that you existed for even a fraction of history and chose to do it by making smiles is something that shall always remain true, and it will bring color and vibrancy to the ponies who will remember you, even unto their dying day .
. but... won't they always be sad? .
. perhaps, but they will also be happy. and happiness is something that only life can afford, a curious quirk, a silly notion invented out of pure absurdity, and yet immortal in its own right. you should be proud that you were able to give this gift when you had the chance, for you used your time wisely, which is the best that any friend or family member could ask for, even in times of deepest sorrow .
. she looked at me, and i saw in that instance a sliver of color returning to her features .
. tears rolled down her face, but they were accompanied by a rosy smile .
. something haunting flew over the waters of the dead .
. deep down in this most dire abyss, laughter sounded across the blackness for the first time in eons .
. hee hee hee... you know what the richest part is? .
. no, what? .
. snkkkt--hee hee hee... after a life of fighting changelings, dragonequi, and all manners of everfree nasty-wasties, i was done in by a rotten can of noodle soup! haa haa haa! .
. hmmmm, i do suppose that is ironic .
. deliciously ironic, don'tcha mean?! haa haa haa! i can already imagine gummy trying to resuscitate me! have you ever seen a fully-grown alligator passionately kissing a pony on the kitchen floor? hee hee hee! priceless! .
. the raft struck the dark island with a jolt .
. her laughter ended, but her smiled remained, shining like a dim beacon across the obsidian banks .
. go forth. you've made your contributions to the warmth of the world, and now it's time for you to rest. it's okay. you don't have to be afraid of mere sleep .
. that's the actual funny thing .
. she looked at me with an innocent blink .
. i'm not afraid. not really. not anymore .
. and neither will your friends or family, i assure you .
. yeah .
. she turned towards the island and calmly climbed out of the boat .
. she approached the pond with a meager bounce, humming into the dead still air .
. when i was a little filly and the sun was going down, the darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown .
. a final mist poured from her muzzle, carrying the notes aloft in trailing embers that twinkled like stars.
. i'd hide under my pillow from what i thought i saw, but grandma said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all .
. she tilted over, dipped into the black pool, and sank like a pink stone .
. she said... .
. she was gone; a dazzling column of songlight was all that remained, but even that too dissipated .
. i was already drifting towards the other side in my raft, serenaded by silence .
.until the last pony is ferried.
.___.
. i do not need the payment. i simply wish to get you to the other side .
. don't be silly. take the coin, darling. that is how it works, after all, yes? .
. my gaze fell from her elegant face to the dazzlingly polished coin in my hoof .
. with a cold breath, i slid the bit underneath the folds of my robe and continued pushing us across the waters with my pole .
. ponies pay charon, the ferrypony, to carry them across the river of the dead .
. she spoke; she rambled .
. all the while her blue eyes gazed calmly across the rippling waters; maybe a little too calmly .
. the souls of the dead then trot into the well of the underworld where they become one with the lingering pulse of eternity. hmmm... you see, i've learned a fair bit from queen twilight's learned teachings. she was always ever so willing to impart the knowledge she was given, even to lowly mortals such as us, ponies that she was still kind and mirthful enough to call her friends .
. i exhaled calmly while i ferried us along .
. she is a generous and merciful ruler, i imagine .
. oh, above all else, a companion to the end. even my end. she was there with applejack and her family by my bedside when it happened. oh, how i wish it was the other way around, and i could have been there to see to their passing instead. but, alas, that is not the case. i can't imagine how twilight must feel. with the pattern of things, she's going to have to be the strongest of us all. but to bear the weight of all that? and with ponies like myself not being th-there to help her weather the storm? .
. finally, it happened .
. she lost her composure .
. she brought a hoof to her snow white muzzle, sobbing daintily into the endless night .
. she didn't notice, but i had slowed the speed of our ferrying .
. after all these years, i knew more than any other soul just how swiftly this ritual would be over with .
. i waited for her to regain her breaths; and after several glowing exhales into the shadows, she recovered .
. i shouldn't weep for her. after all, she should be more than prepared for when her time comes. applejack too. after all, if i can take this in stride, then so certainly can they .
. how do you mean? .
. oh, please, i can't imagine how any of that would be important to you .
. perhaps it would be important to you to share it .
. she contemplated that in silence, her blue eyes locked on the lantern dangling in front of her .
. all of my life, i desired to accomplish two very contradictory things. i wanted to be immensely popular, and yet i wanted to give generously to everypony around me. my friends even told me that such a dichotomy was what defined me as a mare. as the years wore on into decades, i came to understand and respect that opinion. however, at some point, the balance tipped, and i no longer was the pony i used to strive towards being .
. what changed? .
. age, darling. i surely can't expect a ferrypony of the underworld to understand. but age has a way of changing a soul, no matter how happy or sad she may be. and as i grew older, it became apparent that building up wealth and prestige simply meant nothing in the long run. after all, 'you can't take it with you.' i know that to be an absolute truth now. but in the last few years that i had to my name, it constantly vexed me to the point of insanity. however, i do like to think i found a peaceful solution, at least for the time i had to exercise it.
. and that was...? .
. the greatest gift i could give was to be around my friends. i moved in with applejack's family, which isn't quite as burdensome as it sounds. after all, i never did take on a husband, and i made myself quite useful on the farm, or at least as useful as an old mare can be. memories of granny smith certainly helped me in that department. queen twilight would visit us from canterlot often, and i can't even count how many times we fellowshipped together, laughing over tea and biscuits, discussing old friends and even older memories. i used the very last portions of my fortune to improve sweet apple acres, to pay for the education of applejack's foals and grandfoals, not to mention pumpkin's and pound's. i even tended to the garden around our friends' graves. why, if it weren't for the terrible heat stroke that i endured, i would probably still be communing with my loved ones now .
. i gazed thoughtfully at her upon the end of her speech .
. then why do you feel the urge to weep? .
. she started shaking, gripping the edge of the raft to steady herself for what had to be uttered next .
. i thought that i was prepared for this. i thought that i had appropriately turned my attention to eternal matters of the heart. but now i realize just how selfish i have been .
. in what way ? .
. i was so focused on how i would feel once i got here. i didn't take into account the fact that all of my gifts might be for nothing. i worked so hard to make the lives of my friends and their families happy while they were on earth. but what about the day when they come down here? how will any of the riches that i've built sustain them in the underworld? how will all of the words of wisdom and gifts i've had to impart help them in that final slumber from whence they'll never wake up? .
. your friends all love you. and that love will carry them peacefully into oblivion .
. oh please, you're just saying that, darling .
. i have witnessed it first-hoof. their love for you and their companions is all that defines them once they come down here .
. she turned to gaze at me, her lip quivering .
. you mean... you have ferried them already? .
. i nodded .
. fluttershy... pinkie pie... and... and... ? .
. they all care deeply for you. your impact on their lives is that of a blessing. it is not a matter of many gifts, or abundant wealth, but the sheer knowledge of you and what you mean to them. all of your friends and loved ones cherished everything you had to contribute to their lives, and they entered into that dark, dark sleep with peace .
. she blinked, and in that blink a silver tear rolled down her face .
. all of the wrinkles and the signs of age that i had first spotted along the shoreline had utterly faded .
. the pony before me was young again, possessing a warmth that soothed her with the last breaths she had to ripple the waves .
. i always assumed i may or may not grace their final thoughts when they pass away. but to be eternal? .
. sometimes the best gifts are the ones we never expect to give... or receive .
. hmmmmm... .
. she smiled .
. it is an awful lot better than a drab coin, is it not? .
. at that, she chuckled; another voice may or may not have joined her .
. when we reached the island, i reached in and helped her off the boat with a chivalrous hoof .
. if you see applejack soon, do be a dear and tell her something for me .
. she glanced over her shoulder with a luscious flounce of her purple mane as she trotted calmly into the bottomless pool .
. tell her that i was thinking of her and twilight... and the rest of our dearly departed as i made my final walk as well .
.until the last pony is ferried.
.____.
. quite frankly, i dun see why i should even give a flippin' darn .
. my hooves gripped tighter to the pole as i paused in ferrying her .
. she asked me specifically to give that message to you .
. and you sure don't look like no gul-durn messenger to me! not unless messengers get around via splintery old dingies that could use a bit of old-fashioned hammerin'! we've got some place to get to, now dun we? so git! .
. i breathed evenly, pretending to push us along while in fact moving the pole at a sluggish pace .
. she wasn't the only one who cared for you. there are other souls who spoke highly of your name, who praised how strong and dependable you've been throughout the years .
. yes, well, those years are over and done with, now aren't they? now if you don't mind, i would very much like to get to the other side and get this over with. i done gave you your coin, so what's all the fuss about? .
. somepony's in an awful hurry .
. she groaned, folding her forelimbs tighter as she glared over the boat's edge .
. seriously, who runs all this underworld nonsense? i've a good mind to jump over this here side and doggy-paddle my way to where i'm supposed to go! .
. i wouldn't recommend it. there is only one pool and one pool alone that leads to oblivion .
. yeah, well, if you ask me, it's all the same .
. and why is that? .
. she turned and practically howled at me, breathing ghostly glowing fumes into my hood .
. because it's all a damned farce, ya hear?! there ain't no sense in none of it! there ain't never been any purpose or point or anythang! .
. well, that seems rather narrow minded .
. says paley face the boat buffoon! reckon it's mighty easy sassin' ponies about death with yer gangly limbs, moldy robe, and silly little river stick! .
. she turned from me and sat with a huff, slumping over the edge of the raft .
. i had hope, y'know? it was silly and foolish of me, but i actually had hope that there'd be more to this than what twilight said, that i'd actually be able to see granny and big mac and my folks again. but of course not. that'd just be too darned perfect, now wouldn't it? there ain't no party in the afterlife. it's just this. a boaring boatride into darkness, like the world's most confoundedly lame hayride. well, i want off that ride! i've been wanting a ticket off it for years! and nopony would sympathize with me! not even twilight, bless her soul... .
. you seem very angry, and yet not angry at her .
. how can i be? she was the only friend i had left. even if she was full of a lot of hooey, she never did leave my side. just like rarity. they loved me somethin' fierce, though i never gave them much of a reason to. i... i... .
. i watched as a shudder rolled through her body, ending with a sniffle that brought tears to her eyes .
. i knew that this was a long time comin'. this blackness, this hopelessness. i caught myself being dishonest, dishonest to my neighbors and my family... and my own children .
. dishonest? in what way? .
. i t-told them that there was somethin' to hope for. i told them th-that we would all be seein' each other someday. i made them think that there'd be a happy world, a land full of open fields and sunny skies, where we didn't have to fret about no dragons or changelings or evil incantations or none of that hogwash. i made them think that there was somethin' to hope for, even when i knew that it'd be... that it'd be like this. that we'd all be alone when our time came, that we'd have to face the darkness with nothin' but the sound of our own sobbin' breaths, and none of that heavenly song nonsense that we've carried on our shoulders since dawnlight on the farm .
. i fumbled with the rod, gripping it tightly as i found myself speaking before i could stop myself .
. you're not alone, applejack .
. yeah, well, pardon me for bein' sour, but you ain't exactly... .
. suddenly, she froze, glancing up at me with a shivering expression .
. wait, how didja know my name? .
. i was silent .
. Rarity done told ya, didn't she? .
. she had you in her thoughts when i carried her to her end. much like your friends and family who came before you did. you see, even beyond the mortal veil, the thoughts and feelings of our loved ones have the ability to cross immeasurable gaps .
. i... st-still don't see how that's supposed to make me feel any better .
. you may not see your parents or your friends or your children, but they nevertheless feel you. their adoration for you is eternal, no matter if it was born in a mortal realm. why would any of us have a destination if it was not meant to impart something just as significantly as our origin? .
. i don't understand .
. neither did i for a long time, and i have seen countless souls suffering the same old anguish since my existence began. and in the end, they all end up experience peace with themselves .
. because they have no choice, i reckon .
. because it is their only choice, and it is an awesome one. but for many of them, their lives were haunted by the very opposite of that tranquility. they suffered fear, anxiety, and anguish in the warm days afforded them. that's because they did not have the wherewithal to accept their fate when it finally became their time to accept it. they did not have a source of strength and dependability to make their fleeting days on earth as peaceful as their final slumber. but you? .
. i pointed at her .
. you have given that blessing to all the ponies that you have held dear. you may not see them here and now, but trust me... they will be at peace, just like the ones who came before you because they knew you. now tell me, honestly, would you rather chance upon them in person, or accept the fact that you've done your duty, and they are drifting into eternal slumber with the same ease as you had selflessly afforded them while you were on earth? .
. she stared at me for a while, then glanced out at the onyx horizon, wiping her freckled cheek dry while a fountain of warmth sprung through her complexion .
. i reckon it's mighty silly of me to ask for more than i've been given, especially considerin' that we all had our chance to make use of the daylight when it was ours .
. and you, applejack, took full advantage of the chance that you had. you were courageous, you were honest, and you were strong. you lived as long as you did because you had to. the ponies that you love are safe. it is time to rest. you deserve it .
. yes... .
. the boat thumped as it reached the island, and she was already stepping out .
. i reckon i have, haven't i? .
. with renewed vigor, she shuffled fearlessly towards the pool .
. she glanced back only once, and it was to ask a selfless question .
. what about you, sugarcube? ain't you gonna call it a night one of these days? .
. i quietly shook my head .
. not until the last pony is ferried .
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.until the last pony is ferried.
.___________________________________________________________________________.
.___________________________________________________________________________.
. to my astonishment, she even had a coin .
. how it did not turn to dust over the machinations of eternity was beyond me .
. i did not ask any questions; i rowed out immediately towards her .
. she awaited me with a gaping expression, her wings spread wide as if to steady herself from the shocking blow of my presence .
. charon? .
. her breath was a hurricane force wind upon the long-tattered veil of night .
. i nevertheless stood resolute .
. you know me? .
. she faltered slightly, perhaps stunned to be speaking to another creature in so many ages .
. i know what you have to do .
. her voice wavered, shaky yet courageous .
. i am sorry for keeping you waiting .
. she held the coin out in a lavender hoof .
. i looked at it; i reached for her leg instead .
. she hesitated only once, but then let me hoist her onto the raft .
. i gave the crumbling shore a push with my rod, perhaps the last push i would ever have to make .
. i watched, aghast, as the coast disappeared into the inky fabric behind us .
. this was indeed the last soul; all of existence melted behind her .
. i thought that i had seen everything .
. she said, then shivered .
. and nothing .
. i listened quietly as i pushed us along over the disappearing waves .
. i've seen kingdoms born and dissolved in a blink. i've held funerals for hundreds, thousands, and millions of loved ones. i've seen dragons into the eternal amberlight that waits for them beyond the midnight roosts, and i've buried sea serpents along the outer shores of cocytus .
. the lone lantern dangled loosely at the bow of the raft, flickering, its light finally starting to die out after all its innumerable voyages .
. i've watched as equestria withered into dust, with all the memorials and graves that had marked it turned to ashes. for years i stood vigilant over an empty wasteland, with no stars or nebulae left to guide my trotting hooves. i fashioned song out of the last patches of atmosphere left to afford sound, and i wove art with the very last particles of light that this freezing universe could maintain .
. at last, she looked towards me, and in those watery eyes i felt a spark rising up inside me .
. this moment was too real; she knew it as much as i did .
. perhaps it's what made her breath so fractured when she next spoke .
. i did not expect you to be here. after all this time. after all the souls have withered and gone. why did you wait for me? .
. i had a task to accomplish, just like you were inadvertently made the undertaker of all reality .
. she shook her head .
. no. it is different. perhaps i did not ask to be given the job that i've held myself to. but you? .
. i was quiet .
. there was nothing to say; there was everything to be said .
. she was ahead of both of us .
. how was i to expect any differently? .
. i know more than any pony who has ever lived. i know about the afterlife. i know about the abyss that awaits to put us all to sleep, even an immortal alicorn such as myself. and i also happen to know that in the classical era, the time of my birth, a time so ancient that even my mind weeps to acknowledge it, that things were different than as i now see them .
. what could you possibly mean by that? .
. charon is a stallion .
. she spoke; she glared .
. at least, charon is supposed to be a stallion. but you? your voice? you are not what the ancient texts prophesied. i know this, for even in all the centuries that have blinked by, my mind is incapable of forgetting one single detail .
. then perhaps it is capable of forgetting one thing .
. impossible. the only likelihood is something that i theorized long ago, that the role of the ferrypony is something that is volunteered, passed on from one soul to another, when every eon or so there comes a mortal pony selfless enough to carry the burden of the dark waters .
. the silence fell into the space between us .
. she drifted forward, cutting the emptiness like a knife .
. take your hood off .
. what would that even accomplish? .
. it will either dissuade or confirm my fears after all these eons. now do as your queen commands, charon, and remove your hood. i wish to see your face. i wish to see who has put my subjects, my family, and my friends to sleep for the last portion of eternity .
. there was no point in resisting; we were the last two souls upon the brink of the void .
. so, i obeyed her .
. i stripped of my hood, my cloak, and even my whole robe for the first time in as long as i could remember .
. immediately, she was crying, for i could see the colors reflected in her tears .
. it lit up her whole face, so that when she breathed it was through the gentlest of smiles .
. you did it. you actually did it. somehow, a part of me knew that you would. tell me, did they know? .
. i quietly shook my head .
. they didn't have to know. all that mattered is that they went where they needed to go without pain or fear. they didn't even put up a fight .
. that's because you did. you fought for them. you fought for all of us .
. her body flounced between a laugh and a sob .
. the boat rocked lively in the waters; the river was emptying all around us .
. but you didn't have to prove yourself. you waited for them, and i am glad for that. you didn't have to wait for me .
. of course i did .
. i smiled for her, something i wanted to do for a very long time .
. my job wasn't finished, twilight. not until the last pony was ferried .
. she gazed into me, her eyes like feathers that stroked my soul, making me feel like i was flying again .
. has anypony ever been so true, so loyal? .
. her words trailed off, as did her tears .
. when the boat struck the island, the jolt startled neither of us; we were prepared for this moment .
. twilight braced me with a hoof over my shoulder .
. you can't imagine... all the endless nights i spent wondering... all the empty ages of darkness that i wept away, until matter was no more, and i could finally have my rest. and all of that time i dreamt... i wished... that i might actually have the opportunity to see one of you... any of you... to see a dear friend of mine and look into her face and tell her from the bottom of my heart .
. she held her breath, gazing at me as the life flowed from her eyes .
. there was a momentary flash between us, a final pulse of light as our breaths became one .
. i love you so much. i've only ever loved and cherished you. each and every one of you. you have made this existence worth it. be it a brief candle or a dark, dying inferno. i would gladly live it all over again--the torture and the triumph--just to know how much i mean to you, and for you to know how much all of you have meant to me. this is the greatest gift, the greatest opportunity, and i thank you .
. i smiled .
. i reached in and held her sobbing figure, stroking the space between her wings as i murmured into her ears .
. the greatest gift is knowing that all of my friends are at peace .
. she sobbed with joy .
. i had forgotten how beautiful music sounded, and hers was the most gorgeous song of all .
. we didn't need to hold each other for long; eternity had already drained the sorrow from the moment .
. when we parted ways, she trotted backwards toward the pond, as if still needing to keep her vigilant eyes on the dead realm beyond the river .
. i will wait for you .
. she spoke with a smile .
. the island formed a black halo around her; the pondwaters accepted her royal limbs with a rippling sigh .
. someway, somehow, i will wait for you. for that time when a magical spark reignites the gasp of life from beyond our fathomless slumber .
. close your eyes, your highness .
. twilight did .
. and .
. she was gone .
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.until the last pony is ferried.
._________________________________________________________________.
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. centuries went by .
. millennia .
. eons .
. i counted them with each boatstroke that i performed .
. one soul after another, i ferried across that dark, dark river .
. i ferried them all .
. the mothers and the murderers .
. the saints and the liars .
. the heroes and the cowards .
. one by one, i carried them to their destination .
. every soul was as pale and colorless as the one before .
. none of them i recognized; very few of them breathed that misty light of tenderness and hope .
. every so often, thousands of souls apart, one might actually have spoken to me .
. it was almost nothing but rambling nonsense and whimpering drivel .
. a few hundred of them actually tried pushing me into the waters .
. only a dozen and a half of them were brave enough to ask if they could take the pole in place of me .
. i refused them; i ferried them all .
. fifty billion souls later, the ponies stopped talking altogether .
. fifty trillion, and the bodies on the shore grew more and more spaced apart .
. a quintillion or more souls into my task, and the riverbank grew desolate .
. i would spend decades and even centuries scouring the pale coast, until finally i found one lone soul or another that had gotten lost, lingering amidst the nothingness, waiting to be dissolved into the breathless void across the waters .
. eon by eon, the search took longer and longer, until i determined that there was nothing left to search for .
. the riverbank grew silent, something quieter than death .
. even the waters grew still, for i had nowhere to row my raft .
. more eons passed, peeling away at the blighted morass .
. the bone shoals grew bitter, breaking way with each passing age, showing nothing but blackness beyond the fissures and cracks .
. the waters evaporated, giving way to a black, smokey mist that drifted past me and my raft .
. and still, i kept my constant vigil, eyes glued upon the shore, even as it grew fainter and fainter with each dwindling epoch .
. and then finally, when so much time had limped by that even the foundations of the afterlife had begun to crumble... .
. i saw her .
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.until the last pony is ferried.
.____________________________________________________________________________.
.____________________________________________________________________________.
. and now here i stand .
. with the last obsidian lengths of the afterlife dissolving around me .
. i hear an audible hiss, and turn to see the boat crumbling in on itself .
. it's my raft and yet it isn't .
. only a few souls out of the nameless masses had ever mattered .
. and yet, in some way or another, they had all mattered .
. i had simply chosen to blink through a few of them .
. and now the lantern implodes, snuffing out the last shred of mystic light .
. i turn around and face where i knew the pond to be .
. in the bowels of oblivion, i can almost make it out .
. like a blacker-than-black circle staring back at me .
. it's the first thing that's scared me in eons .
. now we're talking .
. a breath sparks before me, then dissipates .
. i guide myself by the strobe, my hooves making ghostly echoes against the glassy surface .
. i'm no longer counting the steps i take .
. i'm no longer thinking of anything, only faces .
. the eyes and manes and muzzles of loved ones .
. with a final breath, the spark reflects my face as i bow to the pond water .
. and i see all of those colors dangling around me .
. flaring in the breeze as the final veil falls .
. then icy, icy water, numbing, soothing .
. coming apart .
. threads and ribbons and the spaces between laughter .
. good night, twilight, pinkie, applejack .
. soft and slow, like a lullaby .
. fluttershy, spike, rarity .
. curling up, drifting off, floating .
. i love you, guys. .
. black .
. i love... .
