My Little Pony: The Silvermane

Sweet Apple Acres, home to the Apple family since the founding of Ponyville, and current home to Equestria's Element of Honesty. A place of hard work and family, it was seen by many in town as the one continually 'sane' place in all of Ponyville's wacky shenanigans... At least, usually it was...

"Why the hell did she have to hit me?!" Shouted Paul, Ponyville's newest resident, as he nursed a rather large red hand print on his right cheek, which had swollen up from the hit.

"I think Pinkie Pie just didn't like you saying naughty words around us..." Sweetie Belle, the young unicorn of the group, said as she walked through the orchard with Paul and her two best friends, Scootaloo and Applebloom. She looked up at him and gave a small, pity filled smile. "I think she might of over reacted just a little..."

Scootaloo, the small winged pegasus of the group scoffed and shot the man a smug grin, "I am surprised she didn't kick his flank all over the bakery! I have never seen Pinkie Pie that mad, other then when somepony breaks a Pinkie promise..." All three of the ponies shuddered at the memory of the few times somepony was foolish enough to break one of the pink party mare's special promises...

"Wait... You have pinkie promises here? Yeah, I mean... Where I came from it was seen as a bad thing to break one, but I can't imagine it being all THAT bad?" Paul said, but found himself confused as the three girls stared at him like he was an idiot.

"Anyway... Are ya sure the stuff ya got is enough for the job, Sweetie Belle?" Applebloom asked her friend, blanking Paul completely as the three walked in front of him, none of them really paying him any more mind.

"Of course! Mister Strong Beam said it was the best wood he had!" Sweetie Belle told her earth pony friend with a determined look, nodding her head as she spoke, before turning to Scootaloo, "Are you sure this will get us our cutie marks? I mean... We already tried to get our 'building' cutie marks before, and our sisters DID say we were not to make anything dangerous again..."

'That does not sound like the sort of thing kids should be messing around with... You are supposed to stop shit like this! So do something you lazy fuck!' Mr Happy spoke inside his head, making Paul groan at his consciousness's words.

"Ok, fine... Girls?" Paul called to them, causing all three to stop and turn to him, "Right... First things first... You three don't like me, and-"

"I like you! Your funny." Sweetie Belle giggled, smiling warmly at him as Applebloom and Scootaloo just rolled their eyes.

"Aw... Thank you, um... Sweetie Bloom?" He said, not having actually listened all that closely to the girls names when they were introduced. "Anyway, some of you don't like me, and I am not entirely thrilled about keeping an eye on you three for the next few days. Second, and most important... You three aren't planning on doing anything dangerous are you?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at them all.

"Nope!" All three of the girls yelled in unison, innocent smiles adorning their faces even as they each had their fingers crossed behind their backs.

"Well, that's good enough for me..." Paul said casually and walked passed them, leaving the cutie mark crusaders confused.

"Wait... Ya ain't even gonna question us?" Applebloom asked in surprise, looking to her two friends and back to the man as he walked away, moving to keep up with him.

"Your not going to ask us what we are planning?" Sweetie Belle spoke up next, walking in step with Applebloom behind Paul now as Scootaloo rushed forward and passed them all, before stopping before Paul.

"Are you stupid or something?! We could be doing anything and you just ignore it? What kind of foalsitter are you?!" The young pegasus frowned up at him as he merely shrugged and walked passed her, seeing the small, white clubhouse the girls used as their HQ, come into sight.

"Nope, no and to be brutally honest, I don't care... I ain't getting paid for this, I am bored already and I trust that the three of you can't do TOO much damage if I half ass this job..." He said, not even looking back at the three young mares, who were all staring at him as though he were insane.

'Wow... Top marks dumb ass... Ever thought of opening a nursery or a baby sitting service? What the fuck! You-' Mr Happy began but found himself drowned out as Paul recalled the lyrics to one of his favorite songs back on earth and focused on remembering that instead of listening to a lecture.

The group soon stood before the CMC clubhouse, the three girls rushing off into the clubhouse, leaving Paul stood outside, humming the Oogie Boogie song before sitting against the tree opposite to the small tree house. He yawned loudly, slowly closing his eyes as he tried to take a nap, but just before he drifted off he was sure he could hear the sound of power tools...

Paul's dreamscape was different this time much to his surprise. Instead of the rolling green fields and a large oak tree, there were golden sands as far as the eye could see, split up only by the emerald blue water of the ocean. The sun shone down on him as he stood in his poorly made dream shorts and sigh, running his hand down his face.

"I hate the beach... Who the fu-" Suddenly he felt something hard smack him in the side of his head, knocking him off balance, "Gah! Fucker! Who...?" He turned and saw Mr Happy stood a short distance away, his usual jeans and shirt replaced with a pair of navy blue shorts and a white tank top. "Hey, fuck face, who told you that you were allowed to mess with my dreams?!"

"For the hundredth time, I am you, dumb ass... Insulting me doesn't work, and I don't need permission since I 'am' your mind, remember? Who am I kidding, of course you don't." He sighed and looked at Paul, his crimson eyes locking onto Paul's blue ones, "Now then... I am going to teach you to pay attention and put some effort into your work you dead beat!"

Paul raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to respond but found no words coming out as he noticed Mr Happy charging towards him with murder in his eyes. He gulped and turned around, starting to run away, "Fuck! Piss off you bastard! Do not make me set Silvermane on you!" He shouted over his shoulder as he kicked up sand as he ran for his life. Mr Happy, who was easily keeping pace, growled as he gained on Paul.

"You will find your hairy, other self is in no mood to help your sorry ass." As Mr Happy spoke, both he and Paul looked towards the sea, where a small inflatable raft floated around, the unmistakable sight of Silvermane, Paul's werewolf side, sat inside it looking irritated and still covered in chains.

"Aw come on! I had to suffer with him all my life and you stop him by putting him in a fucking raft?!" Paul growled, before letting out a surprised yelp as he tripped, landing face first in the sand. "Grr... I hate sand..." He mumbled as he opened his eyes...

Sunlight hit Paul's eyes as he opened them, blinding him for a few seconds. He hissed and grumbled as he rubbed his eyes roughly to get the sun spots to go away. "Bloody sun... Why has my luck been like the Titanic since I got to this hellhole...?"

'Karma... And your lucky that you got away before I could throttle you...' Mr Happy mumbled in the back of his head, but was mostly ignored by Paul, who's eyes were focused on the three young mares outside the treehouse, standing beside...

"Is that a bloody catapult?!"

His shout caused the cutie mark crusaders to spin around and look at him, each having a sheepish smile on their faces. Sweetie Belle found herself nudged forward to speak for the group, leaving the nervous unicorn looking at a stunned Paul.

"Um... We weren't going to do anything bad, honest..." She began to say, but stopped when she saw the corners of Paul's lips curl up into a toothy grin.

"That... is... AWESOME! You three actually made this? All by yourselves?" He asked, getting up from his sitting position against the tree and walked passed the girls to get a better look of the contraption. For a homemade construct, it was surprisingly sturdy, even though it did look slightly cobbled together, with nails sticking out here and there, and one or two pieces of wood misaligned. "This is really good for a first try... You girls could do well with woodwork if you keep at it..."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, "Pfft, yeah right... We didn't even get our cutie marks... This was a huge waste of time..." She looked to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, who each nodded in agreement, much to Paul's shock.

"Wait! Maybe you just need to keep focused on one thing? Not just up and drop something after one try..." He sighed when he noticed his words fell on deaf ears, all three of the cutie mark crusaders were busy looking depressed.

"Wait! Maybe if we launch somethin' from this here catapult, we may get our cutie marks in... Um..." Applebloom stopped, scratching her head as she tried to think of what to say next.

"Cutie mark crusaders, catapult crew?" Scootaloo said, raising an eyebrow as a grin slowly worked its way onto her features.

"Yeah! That could work! What do you think Mr Paul?" Sweetie Belle looked over to Paul, smiling sweetly as she tilted her head to the side.

"Aw... You called me Mr... That's cute, but I think-"

"Who cares what this old guy has to say, we know what we need to do, so lets do this!" The young pegasus interrupted Paul, her eyes burning with determination, a look that was shared with her fellow crusaders as they all marched off back into their treehouse, leaving an irritated human alone beside their hand made catapult.

"I am not old! I am twenty-one years old for gods sake, where I am from, that's JUST an adult!" He shouted to the heavens, flinging his arms into the air in irritation, before turning his gaze back to the catapult, raising an eyebrow as he noticed something on the firing arm. "Wait... Is that an elastic band? What were they thinking... This thing couldn't launch an apple, let alone anything heavy..." He lifted his sock covered left foot and placed it gently on the catapults small launching platform.

'I would tell you what you are doing is retarded, but you would not listen so... Go ahead, just don't go crying to me when you get hurt...'

"Shut up Mr Happy, as I said... This thing couldn't fling anything even if it... Uh oh..." He whimpered pitifully as he heard a loud twang and suddenly felt himself getting launched at high speed through the air, flying high over the orchard and towards Ponyville proper, his loud, girlish screaming filling the air as he went...

Applejack stood beside her big brother, Macintosh Apple (Or Big Macintosh to most), and sighed heavily as she looked back and forth, dancing from hoof to hoof all the while. "Are ya sure we can trust that varmint with our sister? Ah mean... What if somethin' happens?! What if Applebloom gets hurt somethin awful! Maybe I should head on down to the farm and..."

Big mac, standing at an impressive six foot two, his bright red fur, orange mane and  matching tail made him stand out quite a bit, giving no illusions to any mares nearby why he was one of Ponyville's most sought after stallion. He shook his head and put his hand on his sister's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze, "Enope..." was all he said, but it seemed to calm down the orange farm mare, who smiled softly and nodded up at him.

"Yep... Your right Big Mac, I can't be rushing off like that, I have ta give that Paul fella a chance to... Do ya' hear somepony screaming?" Applejack tilted her head to the side as her ears twitched, listening for the direction of the screaming.

Big Mac also stopped to listen, before looking up... His jaw dropped as he saw the rapidly approaching missile that was Paul, who was still screaming in pure terror...

He was silenced however when he hit the ground, and proceeded to skid a few inches froward on his front before coming to a stop, blood pooling around him from his unseen wounds on his front. He twitched once or twice before going still. Needless to say, the ponies in the marketplace were stunned, not at all sure what to do, at least, all but Big Mac who rushed over and knelt beside the injured human, placing a hand gently on Paul's back.

"Ya still alive there?" Big Macintosh asked carefully, looking over to his sister and nodding, which made her snap out of her own shock and rush over.

"Guh... Ma... Mah beautiful... Face..." Paul mumbled quietly, his words slurred as he lay still, groaning loudly now as the pain hit him full force.

"What was that sugar cube?" Applejack asked softly as she and Big Mac pulled Paul up to his feet and each of the Apple siblings took an arm and supported him by it... The orange mare nearly lost her lunch as she saw the state he was in when they lifted him up, giving a loud gasp at the sight of the deep cuts and bruises that showed through the man's torn shirt, each of which bled quite openly. The worst part though was his face... Which looked as though he had headbutted a belt sander.

"Oh gravity... Thou art a heartless bitch..." Paul managed to say before passing out thanks to a mix of the pain and blood loss.

Big Mac shook his head and motioned to Applejack to pay attention, "We best be gettin' him to a doctor..." He rumbled quietly, looking around at the small crowd of ponies gathering to see what was going on.

"Ah know that Big Mac... But where the hay do we take him? To the hospital or the vet?" Applejack said as they made their way down the road towards Ponyville's hospital.

Paul awoke back on the beach that was his dreamscape, making him groan in both pain and annoyance, "Aw come on... First I have to deal with gravity kicking my ass and now I have to put up with sand in the worst places..."

"I would be more worried about nearly dying dumbass... You may be able to regenerate most things, but it hurts like hell growing back skin and setting bones back in place..." Mr Happy said casually from where he sat a short way away from Paul, laying back on a sun lounger with a large purple umbrella keeping him in the shade. Beside the lounger, chained to one of the legs of the lounger was Silvermane, who was dozing in the heat, curled up and looking more relaxed.

"I nearly bite the bullet and you two just sit around relaxing?! Where the fuck is my sympathy?!" Paul growled, slowly getting to his feet and stomping over to Mr Happy, standing over him and glaring down at his doppelganger.

"Ok... I told you that stepping onto the firing platform of a catapult was ass retarded... But no, you had to be mister jack-ass and get yourself launched... Ever injury you have suffered since coming here is mostly your own fault... You need to use your head and be more polite with these ponies..." Mr Happy responded in a calm tone, before reaching down with his right hand and idly started to scratch Silvermane behind his right ear, earning a contented huff from the large werewolf as he slept.

"Fuck that, I do what I want... And... Wait... What the hell am I saying?! I was NOT this much of a dick back home. What the hell has happened to my head?" He asked, looking suddenly unsure, his bravado disappearing and replaced with fear. "Am I really that fucked up? I nearly died! What do I do?" He asked pleadingly to Mr Happy who raised an eyebrow and looked up at Paul in surprise.

"Well color me impressed, dumbass... You actually noticed, so let me fill you in... I don't know.'

"Wait... What? What do you mean, 'I don't know'?! Your my mind right? Surely you keep a track of this kind of thing?!"

"Sure, but remember, I turned up after you put on that amulet of mind and body buggery, so I am not too sure what help I can be other then saying... Keep your cool and stop doing stupid things... Now... Your going to wake up, and I want you to stay nice, and calm... Ok?"

"O-ok... I can do that, lets get this over with."

Paul let out a loud, pain filled whimper as he regained consciousness, keeping his eyes shut for the moment as he tried to get used to the sharp pain that emanated from his face and chest. "Guh... Note to self... Make a parachute next time, or I should just not do something like that again..." He grumbled to himself as the sound of hospital equipment filled his ears, a low, steady beeping telling him he was hooked up to something already.

"At least they took me to the hospital..."

"Oh! Our little patient has come round I see! Aw, such a poor thing... Who could be so cruel as to shave a poor monkey and launch it into town without a care... Such cruel ponies..." Said a feminine voice, her tone soft and soothing, similar to Fluttershy's voice but slightly more lively.

"Wha- wait! Monkey?!" He opened his eyes and looked around, ignoring his bandaged chest and face, along with the fact he was completely naked otherwise. The walls of the room he was in were plastered with posters on how to look after different pets and about different pet care products. "No... They took me to the fucking VETS?!" He more or less roared, before a sharp stabbing pain through his chest and lips caused him to whimper, making him have to lie back down on the vet's examination table.

He took a glance at the vet and sighed. The tan colored mare with a two tone light blue mane had ignored his outburst and was busy checking different sheets of paper, which probably had his data on it.

"How is this my life... Ponyville sucks..." Paul mumbled bitterly as the vet walked over to a small counter by the table he was lay on and took a rather large syringe.

"We just need to give you your shot's and you will be all set!" She chirped happily, ignoring the look of pure horror on Paul's face as she closed in...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

To Be Continued.