Twilight and the Mime

by Final Draft

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2156

Twilight is bothered by a strange street performer after she interrupts its act.

Twilight is perplexed by an earth pony capable of summoning and manipulating invisible objects. In the name of science, she decides to uncover the mime's source of power. The mime is not happy about this, and sets out to stop Twilight with walls, ropes, and every other manner of mime related weaponry.

Cover Art thanks to Time Turner (A.K.A. Pilkie)

Published 2014-02-04 18:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-10 00:32:57 UTC

I: What Sorcery is This?

There was a small commotion outside the Golden Oak Library and Twilight was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on her studies over the noise. Her curiosity hadn’t been piqued enough for her to investigate, but her levels of annoyance were slowly increasing. A burst of laughter made her stand up and shut the window that the noise had been coming in through. It only helped in the slightest.

The laughter became a dull roar of amused cheers and shouts. Twilight decided she could take no more and threw the window open. Her eyes scanned the street below until she found the source of all the noise. A large portion of the town’s population had gathered outside the library to watch a street performer.

“Excuse me!” Twilight shouted to the ponies below. Her shout was ignored as more laughter came from the crowd. Twilight slammed the window shut and trotted out of her room. Even on the staircase, she could hear the crowd outside. Just what was so amusing?

She opened the front door to the library and pushed past several ponies until she was at the center of the crowd. There was a single performer entertaining the mass of ponies, and Twilight glared at the pony. The black and white pony paid her no mind as it continued its routine.

The pony got up on its rear hooves and began pushing against an unseen obstruction. It leaned all its weight into moving the object, but made no progress. The crowd snickered and Twilight simply tilted her head in confusion.

“There’s nothing there,” she said, failing to understand what the performer was doing. The performer raised its glove-covered front hooves and pretended to spit into them, then rubbed them together furiously. It tried once more to move the object and its rear hooves slid out when the object refused to yield. The crowd laughed at the pony’s frustration.

The performer looked at the object only it could see and tilted the black beret on its head so it was partially obscuring its painted face. With extreme determination, the performer charged at the object, stopping the second it made contact. Twilight stared in awe; it was like the performer had actually hit a solid object.

Twilight wandered into the performer’s area and waved her hoof where the object should have been. Her hoof passed through the air unobstructed and the performer looked up at her. The face paint made the performer have a perpetual smile, but it did not look happy at having its act interrupted.

“What are you doing? There’s nothing here,” Twilight stated. The performer stared at her as it slid off the object and hit the ground. The crowd laughed and Twilight looked around, still confused as to what they found humorous. The performer stood up and brushed off its black and white striped shirt. A grin slowly formed on its face and it took several steps back from Twilight.

The strange pony began acting like it was twirling around a lasso and the crowd cheered. Twilight just stared at the performer with a bemused expression. Her expression soon changed when the performer released the lasso and Twilight felt something land around her neck. She bucked back on her rear hooves and felt the unseen rope slide over her front hooves and wrap around her midsection.

“What-what’s going on?!” the bewildered purple unicorn shouted. The invisible lasso tightened and she tried using her magic to remove it. Her magic did nothing and she started to panic, all the while, the crowd was laughing hysterically.

The performer looked to its audience and smiled before lowering its beret in determination. Twilight started sliding across the ground as the performer reeled in lengths of the rope binding her. She planted her hooves firmly and began pulling against the rope.

Several cheers went through the crowd as the two ponies played tug of war with a rope none could see. The performer was a much a smaller mare than Twilight, and she slid through the dirt as Twilight resisted. She continued reeling in more of the rope, bringing herself nose to nose with Twilight.

“How are you doing this?” Twilight demanded, staring into the performer’s unblinking red eyes. The strange mare smiled, and without a word, released the rope. Twilight felt the tension around her midsection disappear, and watched as the mare ran around her.

The mare began pushing several unseen barriers around Twilight, and before the unicorn realized what was going on, she was trapped in an invisible box. After jumping up to shut the lid, the performer turned to her audience and bowed. Twilight could see them cheering, but could hear nothing. She tried to walk forward and bumped into one of the barriers.

The crowd began pointing and laughing at Twilight, causing the performer to turn around. She walked up to the imprisoned mare and smiled deviously. Twilight pounded against the walls of her prison and tried to break out. Panic began setting in, and Twilight felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She had no idea what was going on or why the ponies found it funny.

Her horn glowed, but she couldn’t teleport out of the box, nor could she do any damage to walls that somehow surrounded her. She curled up into a ball and sobbed helplessly. The noise of the crowd returned suddenly, and Twilight looked up to see the performer looking down at her. The mare was acting like she’d opened a door to Twilight’s cell, and she had a hoof extended out toward Twilight.

Twilight looked at the mare and then to the gloved hoof she was holding out. After a moment’s hesitation, Twilight allowed herself to be hoisted up by the performer. The crowd cheered and the performer bowed, indicating for Twilight to do the same. Her knees shook, but the unicorn took a bow for the cheering ponies.

Slowly, the crowd dispersed, leaving just the two mares outside the library. The mare lifted off her beret, tilted it toward Twilight, and gave a little nod before putting it back on.

“Wait a second, you’re not a unicorn,” Twilight said after realizing the mare’s head was devoid of a horn. “How did you do all that?”

The performer smiled, but said nothing. She trotted off into the town, leaving Twilight thoroughly confused. The unicorn turned to the spot she’d been put in a box and waved her hoof through the air. Her hoof passed through the air without hitting anything solid.

“There has to be an explanation,” Twilight said, returning to the library for some extensive research.

II: Silence of the Mimes

Twilight poured over the library’s books until she found what she’d been looking for. Located in Entertaining the Masses, was a section on performers called mimes. The section simply explained the physical appearance of a mime, and its bizarre routines.

“That’s it?” Twilight asked, flipping the pages back and forth, hoping for more information. The next page was a passage on clowns (nothing Pinkie Pie couldn’t tell her about), so she let the book fall to the floor.

A knock came at the door and Twilight quickly levitated all of her books back into their respective locations. She made sure the library was presentable and went to greet her guest. Standing on the other side of the door was the mime. The mare smiled at Twilight and extended a hoof out to her.

“Can I help you?” Twilight asked, looking at the empty hoof.

The mime brought her hoof just below her own nose and inhaled deeply, smiling as if she’d smelled a pleasant aroma. She then held her hoof out for Twilight once more and stared expectantly.

Twilight continued to stare at the empty hoof and asked, “Is it a flower?”

The mime nodded excitedly and pushed the hoof closer to Twilight’s nose. Hesitantly, Twilight sniffed at the air and could smell the faintest aroma of roses. She opened her eyes and carefully reached for the unseen flower. Her hoof bumped against something soft and the mime smiled.

“How are you doing this?” Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes as if that would allow her to see the rose she now held.

The strange performer scratched at her beret in thought and then leaned against an invisible countertop, resting her chin on her hoof. Such a position would be impossible without something to actually support her, and Twilight waved her hoof through the air. Unlike the rose, the counter seemed not to exist. At last, the mime looked back at Twilight and smiled. She closed her eyes and zipped her lips.

“Please, you have to tell me,” Twilight begged. The mime crossed her forearms and shook her head. Twilight let the rose fall from her hoof and the mime’s eyes followed its path to the floor.

Twilight went to take a step toward the mime, but the mime leapt into the air and somersaulted over the confused unicorn. It landed silently and smiled at Twilight.

“Hey!” Twilight shouted. This time when she stepped toward the mime, it raised its hooves and patted at the air. Twilight smacked into the invisible barrier and the mime inaudibly laughed.

The mime slowly reached up and pulled down on something suspended from the ceiling. Before Twilight could question what it was, a trap door opened up beneath her. She let out a scream as she fell into the darkness. The space she was falling through seemed to go on forever and the darkness was impermeable.

At last, she reached the bottom and landed on something soft enough to break her fall. Twilight stood up and looked around the darkness, the glow of her horn only giving off enough light to see a couple feet ahead of her.

“Hello?” she called out nervously. There was a loud crash and a beam of light shot out from the ceiling. A spotlight shone down from above and illuminated a figure in front of Twilight. When Twilight’s eyes adjusted, she saw it was just the mime.

The mime’s red eyes seemed to look past Twilight, staring off somewhere into the darkness. There was another crash and a second spotlight shone down onto Twilight. Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of applause, but the sounds seemed to come from no one direction.

“What’s going on?” Twilight asked. The mime ignored her and instead focused on emptying an imaginary can of whipped cream onto an invisible pie. The hissing of the aerosol was audible over the crowd’s clapping. The red eyed mare tossed the can over her shoulder and finally looked up to Twilight.

The clapping stopped and a drum roll took its place. The mime reared back with the imaginary pie and aimed at her target. Twilight wasn’t sure what to do, so she got ready to dodge the invisible pastry.

The second the mime threw the pie, a powerful gust of wind blew from behind Twilight. The invisible pie redirected its course and smacked into the mime’s face. The unseen crowd laughed and the mime wiped her face angrily. She tried to step toward Twilight, but the wind was too strong. The performer grabbed onto her beret and attempted to walk through the wind.

Twilight too struggled against the force of the wind and found her hooves sliding out from beneath her. The spotlight followed her as she was lifted off the ground and into the air. The crowd laughed and laughed as the two ponies struggled against the gale force.

“ENOUGH!” Twilight shouted at last. Her horn erupted as she cast a powerful illusion clearing spell, and the darkness completely disappeared. She and the mime landed back in the Golden Oak Library and Twilight jumped atop the mime before it could move. “Tell me how you’re doing this!” Twilight demanded.

The mare looked at Twilight angrily and scrunched up her nose.

“Say something!” Twilight shouted. The mare opened her mouth to talk, but closed it angrily. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me how you’re doing this!” Twilight said, making sure the mare was pinned beneath her. The mare’s red eyes darted back and forth until it saw something Twilight couldn’t.

The mime reached out and pulled at the air, making a faint clicking noise. She then put her hooves over her head and closed her eyes. Before Twilight could question just what the mime had done, she felt what could only be described as a piano crashing down onto her back. The last thing she saw before being knocked unconscious was the mime smiling at her from behind a glass barrier.

Author's Note

A bit short, I know, and maybe not as funny as it should be. At this point, I'm focusing on the mystery of the whole situation, but I assure you, there will be laughs to come.