The Great Inconsistencies of the Most Intelligent Minds Lead to Yet Even Greater Failures
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Twilight's Debacle Colon A Story of Mystery and Intrigue
The Great Inconsistencies of the Most Intelligent Minds Lead to Yet Even Greater Failures
A Great Tragedy is Taking Place Here Today
Twilight lied sprawled across a soft green sofa in the center of her library. Her stomach was spaghetti.
"Ugh," she whined, "please let this just be gas!"
Discord dropped his toothbrush. "You're gonna fail, Twilight."
"Shut up! I know that!" she yelled back.
She reached for a green pillow and chomped into it, ripping out a rather large chunk of fluff and began sucking on it. Discord stood over her.
"That's not gonna help," he said.
"Mmmph-mmph!!" she cried.
King Sombra couldn't take it anymore and was visibly losing his patience, and his marbles. "I say, if you four do not quiet down then I might never get the chance to finish this newspaper. Oh and by the way, Twilight... you're gonna fail."
Twilight spit out some of the spicy pillow fluff into her hooves and threw it angrily across the room.
"Calm down, Twilight," said Celestia.
The princess used her magic to stuff the pillow with fluffy wool she had abducted from a sheep earlier. After Twilight laid her head back down, Celestia quietly kissed her on the cheek with great fury. Twilight was so sorry for all of them that her stomach was spaghetti.
"Thank you, princess," said Twilight, "When did you get that fluffy wool anyway?"
"About ten o'clock this afternoon," she replied with the utmost regality.
"Most excellent," said Discord, "If you hadn't have gotten to that sheep first, then I certainly would have. That guy was asking for it."
"I know, right?!" Celestia blurted.
Sombra let out a long sigh and a small belch, reaching slowly for his cup of tea made from the tears of foals and green tea leaves for flavor. He took a sip and then sniffed the contents of the cup deeply. His stomach was spaghetti too.
"You're gonna fail, Twilight," Celestia said next.
"Grrrr," her pupil growled, "I know that, but why do you have to keep reminding me?!"
"Just saying," she said pointing to a corner, "but the bathroom's over there."
"I know where the bathroom is, princess," Twilight said, quite annoyed.
Discord picked his toothbrush back up, now covered in dust and lint. He was about to put it in his mouth... when he suddenly stopped. Unbelievably, his stomach was spaghetti too. However, he decided given the circumstances to let sleeping pigs lie.
"By the way," he said harshly, "The pigs are sleeping out back."
"Thanks," said Twilight still obviously in pain, "I was gonna make bacon later, so really, thank you Discord."
"Anything for my darling Twilight!" he exclaimed.
Sombra finally stood up. "Twilight will most certainly fail now, for the power of the bacon is simply too great. There is a great storm coming, for I am certain her stomach is now completely spaghetti. The earth will tremble in her presence, I am afraid. The lakes will boil away, the land will crumble into nothing, civilizations will be brought to their knees in agonizing defeat because of her failure!"
Discord teleported over to Sombra and calmly handed over his toothbrush. "You need to clean out your mouth."
The dark king levitated the toothbrush out of his claws and did indeed use it to brush his teeth. "You are right, Discord. This might help my case of spaghetti stomach."
Celestia kissed Twilight on the cheek once again and sat down on the floor beside her green sofa. Twilight continued to hold her tummy in agony, writhing all over in horrible pain and biting more pillows. She reached for yet another one and nibbled on its soft tip, and now they all tasted just like spaghetti too.
This was simply too much for Celestia's heart to bare.
"I wish Rainbow was here..." Twilight moaned.
"I am here!!" yelled the pegasus over her couch.
The unicorn glanced up at her and smiled, a tear streaming down her cheek. Her lips quivered trying to hold back a torrent of emotions. But suddenly, she remembered something.
"My stomach is spaghetti, Rainbow. Please help me..."
Rainbow leaned over the edge of the sofa and quietly kissed her cheek as well, though her kiss was a little more lesbian-y than Celestia's.
"Twilight," she whispered softly, "this might not be the best time... but you're gonna fail."
"UGHHH!!" the unicorn loudly groaned, "I know, I know already! Gosh!"
"Look homegirl," said Celestia, "You need to chill, seriously. No pupil of mine is going to be so angry in her failures. You need to embrace them, even though I myself have no idea what it's like to fail at something."
Twilight leaned back from the sofa and angrily glared at the princess. "You don't say," she said through clenched teeth.
Gurgle! Gurgle!
"Oof!" she yelped as she dug her hooves into her tummy, "That hurts really bad!"
"I would tell you to hurry," said Dark Lord Sombra, "But we all know you're going to fail."
"No!!" Twilight gently pushed her teacher out of the way forcefully. The bathroom was in sight, her only salvation at this point. "Curse this spaghetti stomach!" she yelled.
"She'll never make it," said Discord.
"Potty!!! Now!!" she screamed.
She only took a few steps, but her spaghetti stomach finally got the best of her.
She tried to reach the bathroom in time,
when suddenly she tripped and fell to the floor,
and realized that she was too late.
She had failed to reach the bathroom in time. It was the greatest failure in Equestria's history.
