Discord Helps Two Ponies Fall in Love Using Only a Sandwich

by Surry

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna
Length: 1239

Celestia is allergic to peanut butter, and doesn't understand why Discord is so persistent in trying to give her a PB&J. Her hidden feelings, however, are soon made clear when Luna shows up.

Discord wants Celestia to eat a PB&J, but she is allergic. So... he brings Luna into the mix, and things start to happen.

Warning: Slight Princest Makeout (Extremely hot)

Published 2014-02-05 05:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-05 05:20:02 UTC

For The Glory Of PB&J of Course!

Didn't See That One Coming

Celestia eyed the plate that contained the sandwich, but she took no interest in it.

"Why would I even want it?" she asked, "I have a peanut allergy anyway."

Discord frowned and slowly pulled the plate away from her in defeat.

"B-but... I made it just for you," he whimpered.

The princess turned her head away in disgust, causing Discord to wince in frustration. He loudly snapped his fingers and suddenly Princess Luna flashed into existence right beside him. Discord reached his clawed hand around her sister's shoulder and pulled her in close, but she was quickly losing her patience.

"Unhand me!" Luna yelled.

"Oh, but of course Princess Luna," he relented, "I just brought you here because, well, your sister here doesn't seem to be too interested in the sandwich you made for her."

Luna nearly cried. "Celestia... you don't like the sandwich that I made?"

"WHAT?!" her sister yelled in confusion, "Discord told me that it was HE who made the sandwich!!"

"He did?!" Luna yelped.

"Oh come now, Celestia," he started, "I was going to tell you the truth after you ate it. It was more of a 'social experiment' if you will, on my part. Luna here truly slaved over preparing this PB&J for you. Didn't you, Luna?"

The princess of the night simply lowered her head, staring at the floor in a deep depression. Celestia got up from the table and approached her sister, but she quickly backed away. She kept trying to coax her out of it, yet Luna would not face her.

"Luna, for all the centuries we've spent together, you never knew I had a peanut allergy?" she asked.

"I-I... didn't, Celestia," she mumbled in grief, "I'm so sorry. I just wish that for once you could enjoy something I made."

"But, Luna... I do love everything you make. It's just that this time..." her voice began to trail off.

"I spent hours on it though," said Luna.

"HOURS?!" Celestia cried.

The look of sheer hatred from her sister made her want to take that word back, as she lowered her head in utter embarrassment.

"I apologize, Luna. You have a gift for creating sandwiches, I'm sure... just like all of your other talents," Celestia's words were finally reaching her sister, "You're so wonderfully skilled in every way, Luna. So much so, that you shouldn't take me turning down a sandwich as a reason to lose faith in yourself."

"Oh boy, not this garbage," Discord mumbled under his breath.

Celestia kept on. "Look at the night, Luna. I appreciate it so much more now, all thanks to you. You've made wonderful art for me. You've made glorious music for me. Ever since you came back, my life has been filled with even greater joy!"

"Yeesh," Discord lamented.

Tears began to well up in Luna's eyes as she finally returned her sister's advances. Discord slowly backed away as the sisters grew closer together, allowing them a more intimate setting. However, it was a little more intimate than he was expecting.

"D-do you really mean that... Tia?" Luna asked breathlessly.

Standing eye to eye with each other, she could plainly see that Celestia was being sincere. She no longer cared if her sister didn't want the PB&J she made, nor any fights they may have had over the years. That was the nicest thing Celestia had ever said to her.

"I truly meant it," she assured, "Because I love you, Luna."

Through their welling tears, they somehow managed to find their way into a tight loving embrace... which made Discord cringe.

He looked around the dining hall for the nearest exit, though he could've just as easily teleported out. Yet he decided to make a big show of leaving, just for them. The silence of the hall would greatly help him out in that respect, at least that's what he was hoping for. He figured his work here was done, now that Celestia had finally spilled the beans.

And spill the beans she did.

He was just about to leave, when suddenly the two sisters pulled away slightly from their hug and gazed longingly into each other's eyes. Their irises glinted in the ambient light, communicating more than they ever could in speech.

Discord was beginning to get uncomfortable, but he couldn't look away for some reason.

Then suddenly, the sisters calmly bumped noses and closed their eyes.

They each took a deep breath,

gradually turned their heads to a slight angle,

and ever so delicately pressed their lips into the other's.

"What... is going on?" Discord muttered in disbelief.

The sisters could not hear him, for they were lost in the moment, lightly sucking on each other and biting the other's lower lip. Their jaws contracted forcefully over and over again, mixing their saliva and pooling it inside of their cheeks. They knew it felt so wrong... and yet, they each tasted so good at the same time. They could not stop inhaling their opposite's overpoweringly feminine scent and their tongues met somewhere halfway, almost inviting the other inside to their respective homes.

"Mmmmmm!" Luna weakly whimpered.

"Mmmm," Celestia answered more dominantly.

"I'm dreaming, right?" Discord asked himself.

Their eyes fluttered occasionally when the taste would become too overwhelming, but they would quickly adjust and go back to lovingly swapping spit. They kept burrowing their tongues into the lining of each other's cheeks, creating slight bulges that would protrude at the side of their muzzles every now and then. With every heavy deep kiss, the other sister would gladly accept and reciprocate, trading mouthfuls of saliva and gently moaning while doing so.

It was all becoming a little too much for Discord to watch. He had never seen two ponies so passionately suck face. He wanted to stick around, but honestly he didn't think his body could take it. He knew far too well that if he witnessed this for much longer, a hidden demon of chaos would boil back to the surface and do unspeakable things... so he decided his best bet would be just to leave.

As the sisters' muzzles started to drip ever so slightly, he began to quietly pace his way out. Their messy make-out session would continue unhindered until who knows when. But, as Discord finally crept out past the large double doors he couldn't get the mental images out of his head. So, in a fit of horniness, he peered back inside the dining hall one more time and watched as Luna abruptly pushed her slightly taller sister into the table side, madly forcing her tongue deeper into Celestia's gratefully accepting mouth.

Discord noticed that Celestia's back was about to hit the sandwich lying on the table, and with a quick snap of his fingers it quickly teleported into his clawed hand. He picked up the sandwich without looking and took a long deep bite, continuing to eagerly watch the sisters go at it.

"Mmm," he said happily as he took a bite.

He was much rather a fan of peanut butter. Perhaps that is another unconscious reason why Celestia did not like him. But, he was also definitely a fan of watching two mares get so heated with each other... especially when they were sisters.

"That's something I didn't know about myself. A job well done, indeed. Heheheh," he lightly chuckled.