Portals Are Sometimes Fun

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9

Chapter 1

One day, Justin and his friends were on top of his three story apartment building. They were all hanging out, until Savannah and Brandon needed some alone time to talk about their relationship. So, he walked over to the edge of the roof and started listening to his MP4. Joey and Nathan were horse playing and didn't want to get involved. Nathan is the strongest of the group along with Joey, then Brandon, then Savannah, then Justin. Justin was the weakest of the group. He didn't really care, and his friends didn't make fun of him for it

Nathan then whispered to his friend, "Hey, Joey, watch this."

Nathan walked over to Justin and accidentally pushed him off the roof. Nathan and Joey gasped at the same time. They both watched their friend plummet to his death, screaming. Joey, then punched Nathan in the jaw, and started to yell at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you!? Why did you do that to him!?"

"I-I didn't mean to! I was just trying to scare him!"

"Well, you've scared him to death!?"

They looked over the edge of the building, preparing to be horrified by the sight of their friend splattered dead on the ground. But, his dead corpse wasn't their. Brandon and Savannah heard all of the commotion and ran over.

"What's going on over here, and where's Justin," asked Savannah.

"Nathan was being a dumbass and accidentally pushed him over the edge."

"You fucking idiot!" Brandon screamed," You know how weak he is and you know how strong you are! What were you expecting the outcome to be?

"I just wanted to scare him a little, I didn't mean to kill him."

They looked over the edge. But, they didn't see him either. They turned to their two friends in confusion, freaking out a bit, too.

"Uuuuumm, yea, so, where is his dead body."

"We don't know either, Brandon."

They all went back down the fire escape to look around. And their was no sign of him anywhere. They all walked over to the building and sat down next to it. They all held each other and started sobbing at the death of their friend.

MEANWHILE, IN EQUESTRIA

"Pinkie, quit hogging the damn Portal gun!"

"No way, Rainbow Dash, I'm having fun!!!"

The Mane 6 were out having a picnic at the Ponyville park and were playing with the Portal gun Princess Luna had made for them. Well, Pinkie was anyway. Pinkie stopped hopping, and shot a random Portal into the sky without hesitation.

"Uuuuuhhhhh, Pinkie. Didn't Princess Luna tell us not to shoot the Portal gun into the sky?"

"Don't worry, Twilight, I'm just trying something out."

When she got done speaking to her friend, Justin fell through the Portal hole that was planted on the ground near a tree. He hit his head on a branch, and slammed onto the ground and passed out from the pain. All the while, the girls didn't notice it.

"THAT'S IT!!"

Rainbow Dash took the moment of Pinkie's distraction and flew fast and slammed into her. The Portal gun came off of her hoof and smashed onto the ground breaking it. Both the blue and the orange Portals disappear.

"Owwiiieee. Dashie, why did you do that, now the Portal gun is broken."

"Well, it was all your fault. You wouldn't let me have a turn with it."

"I'm sorry. I was just having too much fun."

"It's OK. Hey, what's that?"

Pinkie got up to her feet. "That's a tree, Dashie. You should know that."

"No, under the tree."

The Mane 6 all walked towards the tree Justin was under.When they got there, they were all a little scared of the human, especially Fluttershy. They all noticed some of his stuff was off of him. Twilight put his earphones into his pocket, and his glasses back on him. Justin, then stirred and sat up, rubbing his head in pain.

"Fucking, ow. Where the hell am I-?"

Justin then noticed the girls all staring at him with shocked faces. He just sat their in confusion. They all stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was only 10 minutes.

Still rubbing his head he spoke up, breaking the silence, "Umm, hi. I'm Justin, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Twilight asked, "W-W-What are you?"

"I am what's called, a 'human'. May I ask, who and what all of you are?"

"We are ponies. I am Twilight Sparkle, It's nice to meet you, mister~, what's your name again?"

"Justin, and who are all of you?

"Hello kind sir, I am Rarity."

"My name is Rainbow Dash." She announced while posing in the air.

"Ah'm Applejack, at your service." She said as she grabbed Justin's hand by both of her forelegs and started shaking it rapidly.

"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie!" She screamed at him, while in his face. He picked her up by her sides and put her down towards her friends. Justin noticed one more pony who didn't speak up at all.

"And who are you?"

"Uh, I-I-I'm Fluttershy." She spoke quietly.

"Now that introductions are out of the way, where the hell am I?"

"You are in Ponyville, home of Equestria. Ruled by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

"Never heard of any of those places, or people."

"Well, duh, silly. I transported you here through Portals with a Portal gun. I shot one in the sky, hoping to catch something. And as it turns out, I caught you~!"

"Can you send me back, please?"

"SSSSSS!" Rainbow Dash said while rubbing the back of her head. "You see, Pinkie was hogging it and I got frustrated at her with it. So, I smashed into her and she lost her grip on the gun, and it fell hard onto the ground, smashing and breaking it beyond repair." Rainbow Dash explained.

"So~, I'm now stuck here forever?" They all nodded in unison.

"Well.........Fuck."

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Author's Note:
In the next chapter and from now on, I shall be writing the story in first person. I really hope you all like the story, and I shall write more of it sometime tomorrow or the next day. It's a little short because It's 1 A.M. where I am and am very tired, so I apologize to any one who want this chapter to be longer.

Chapter 2

The girls were all sitting on their haunches all around me. I was leaning up against the tree that I passed out under. They were all a little saddened that they couldn't send me back home. I just shrugged off the idea.

"Well, now that I'm stuck here forever, I might as well tell you girls a little about my self. My full name is Justin Bailey Moran, and I really loathe my middle name. I am 15 years old, and to my parents, that doesn't count as adult. I love sugary sweets, animals, sometimes a good book, and running. I hate mostly people and certain types of music. My favorite type of music is New Rock, New Metal, and Dubstep. I'm also a bit of an asshole, slash, smartass"

They all stared at me with interest, and were a bit shocked when I said I hated his own kind.The girls didn't hate anyone of their kind. Except for Rarity, who hated Prince Blueblood's guts.

Twilight just had to ask, "Um, Justin, not to be rude or anything, but why do you hate your own kind?"

"To answer your question, some humans are mean. Kids at my school judged me for MY choices, for example, my hair." I had long, straight hair, barely touching my shoulders. "On my planet, boys had short hair, I like long hair. And they hated the idea that I liked Metal and Rock. They would try to get me to listen to Rap and Country. I try it, of course, but still hate it. My motto has always been, 'If you haven't heard it, seen it, or taste it, your opinion is invalid'. Funny thing is, they didn't even give my music choice a chance. I don't really know that much of the government, but what I DO know, is that they try to get as much money as they possibly can. You see, on my planet, money is power, the more money you had, well, more power to you."

"Princess Celestia and Luna are basically our government, but they run everything perfectly. Plus, they control the sun and the moon." Twilight informed me. I was a little shocked by that.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah. Your rulers control the sun and moon?" Twilight nodded. "That's awesome. How long have they been doing it?"

"For over a thousand years. They are pretty good at it-."

"Holy shit. They're a thousand years old?" I blurted out. "Okay, how about you girls tell me a little about yourselves."

Twilight was about to go first, but got interrupted by Rainbow Dash. "I'm 15 years old. I love to fly and go as fast as I can. I help control the weather with my weather team. We all work at Cloudsdale, another city here in Equestria. I love your type of music as well, and I hate things that aren't cool. You're okay." I gave a small smile at that.

Rarity then took the floor, "I'm 16 years old. I love fashion and fashion related things. I work where I live, I call it 'Carousel Boutique'. I don't really like your choice of music, but I do love the sounds of choir and orchestra, like what our good friend Octavia plays. And I hate uncouth things, and dislike your choice of clothing." I was wearing long, baggy jeans with white shoes. I wore a black shirt that on the front of it showed a grenade and written on the grenade was, 'If it's war they want...'. I also wore a green jacket over it. I didn't really care and just shrugged off what Rarity said and decided to ask her about it later after everyone has introduced themselves to me.

It was Applejack's turn to speak. "Ah'm 15 years old, Ah love running as well. Ah love apples, and just like ar' friend Rarity, here, I werk where Ah live, Sweet Apple Acres. Ya might not like me for this, but Ah love country music. Ah hate frilly things, and people who really disrespect others."

"Look, Applejack, I don't dislike you for liking country music. Whatever you like, that's your personal life. And Rarity, I actually like choir and orchestra music, too. If your friend Octavia is playing any time, I would love to go with." Rarity's eyes grew big along with her smile.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, Justin. Of course you can come. She gave us all V.I.P passes, and I would love for you to meet her. She is very nice, and she plays the Cello. She has a concert in 2 weeks you can come with us." I smiled at the idea of finally going to my first concert. My parents never allowed me to go to any type of concert. They were always very protective of me.

Pinkie Pie shoved Rarity out of the way and was now upside down in my face. "I'm~ 14 years old. I love sugary sweets and I love to party. I work where I live, too, Sugar Cube Corner. Except I don't own the place, it belongs to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Anyways, I love pop, house, and break dancing music. Mainly songs made by Vinyl Scratch. I hate things that make other things sad, and I also hate being sad." Then Pinkie gasped out of nowhere. "I should throw you a party a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! I'm gonna invite everyone in Ponyville. I'm gonna need streamers, banners, balloons, cake, cupca-" I put my hand over her mouth to stop her from talking, and pushed her slowly to the left to get her out of my face.

Twilight finally got her turn. "I'm 15 years old. I love books and I am a faithful student to Princess Celestia. I live where I work at. I work at a library, and have an assistant named Spike. I love Dubstep, also songs made by Vinyl Scratch. I hate things that aren't perfectly perfect, being tardy, and I hate things that I can't explain." I was almost always late to class. I didn't really care. I mean, sure I get a stern talking to by the teachers, but I just tune it out.

The yellow pony was sitting their the entire time, quietly. "Do you want to tell me a little bit more about yourself?"

She quivered a bit. "I-I-I'm 15 years old. I love animals, I look after them and give them away, like an adoption agency. I live where I work. I love calm music, if that's okay with you. I don't really hate anything, I may dislike things a little, but I don't hate anything." She smiled at me, with a little bit of nervousness in her eyes. I looked at the sky and noticed the sun is halfway under the horizon.

"It's getting late, you girls should all head home."

"You're right. C'mon, Justin" I looked at Twilight, a bit confused at what she said. "What? You didn't think we were gonna leave you out here all by yourself, did you?" I nodded slowly.

"But, whose house am I gonna stay at?" They all looked at each other, with worried faces.

"You can live with me, Justin. I'm sure Spike will love to have a guy friend, for once."

We all stood up almost at the same time. They are almost as tall as me. Their heads are just under my chin, and I'm only 5'2''.

Applejack spoke up, "Hey, Justin. Do ya think ya can at least take a hit."

"Yeah, I think so. Why do you a-" Before I could finish, Applejack turned around and kicked me hard a little below my knee. "AAHHHH!!!" I did a 180 degree turn around and punched the tree behind me as hard as I can. "AHH!"

"Why did ya punch the tree?"

"Why did YOU kick me!?"

"I thought ya said ya could take a hit."

"I said I THINK I could! And to answer your question, I punched the tree, because I taught my reflexes to hit the person back as fast as I could if they hit me. I didn't want to hurt any of you, so I punched the closest object. And that happened to be this tree."

"Ah'm sorry, Justin. Ah should've thought before I did anything."

"It's okay. Let's just shove all of this behind us and start our journey towards Ponyville." I stood up and limped my way towards the girls. We were now on our way towards Ponyville. My new home.

Chapter 3

We all started to venture towards Ponyville. I just couldn't believe that I lost all of that I owned and loved back on Earth. My friends, my family, and the people I hated. If someone had told me one day, I would be sent to a world filled with ponies, I would've thought he was crazy. But now I'm here, a new home, with new friends, in a new town, on a new world, with a new life. And now that I realize it, I would've died if Pinkie hadn't shot that Portal. Nathan must feel really bad about all of this. I hope I can figure out a way to tell him I forgive him.

Twilight broke the moment of silence, "Hey, Justin. What was that dangly, item sticking out of your pocket?" I looked at her with a little bit of confusion. Then, I realized what she was talking about. I reached into my front right pocket and pulled out my MP4.

"You mean this?" She nodded. "This is a MP4. It holds music on it and you can listen to music on the go." I chuckled a bit at what I said, because I sounded like a Salesman. "Hopefully, I can charge it on this planet."

"Do you have anything else in your other pockets?" Rainbow Dash asked as she was flying right next to me above my head. I reached into my left pocket and pulled out my phone.

"This object is called a 'phone'" I showed them the object. "What you can do on it, is call other people by typing in a series of numbers and the person with that number will answer their phone, and we can talk through the devices." I informed them. I took a look at it myself to see if I had a signal. "But without a signal, It's completely useless. Do any of you girls want it?" I asked them, pointing the phone at each individual pony.

"Ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh. I do! I do!" Rainbow Dash shouted. I handed it to here. She could barely hold onto it with her hooves. I laughed every time she dropped it. I then checked both of my back pockets. Only my right back pocket held something. It was my wallet.

"This, girls, is called a 'wallet'" I opened it up to show them the contents. "This is where you put your money. Here's where your I.D. goes. Here's where you put your credit cards. And here's where you put other objects, like pictu-" I abruptly stopped talking and pulled out a picture. It was a group photo of me and my friends. I just stared at it for 2 minutes. A tear formed in my eye.Rarity interrupted my gaze.

"Uh, darling, what is it?"

"Oh, uh," I whipped the tear away from my eye. "This is a group photo of me and my friends." I held It down a bit, so they can all see it. I was sitting on the ground, with my legs crossed, hair a little over my face. Brandon was on my left, knelt down hand on my shoulder. Same with Savannah, but on my right. Nathan and Joey stood over us, both hands in the air showing off the rock n' roll hand gesture. "That bit of a chubby fella, he's Nathan. The bald one next to him is Joey. The one on my left, his name is Brandon. And on my right, her name is Savannah." Another tear formed in my eye at the thought of never getting to see my best friends again.

"It's okay, dear. You have us." Rarity said, trying to cheer me up. "At least we're better than nothing, right?"

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't mean to make any of you feel bad. I mean, you're taking me in in my time of need. I shouldn't be making any of you feel bad. Here, Rarity, you can have this." I handed her my dollar bills and coins to her. "I guess the currency here is completely different, since we're on a different planet." Her eyes grew big at the site of me giving her my money.

"Oh, Justin, I can't take this from you."

"Yes you can. I was a bad friend for making you feel bad, so I'm giving my money to you. You could probably put it on a dress or frame it somewhere in you're boutique." I opened up the bag she was carrying on her back and put the money in it.

"Thank you, Justin. I shall frame it somewhere in my boutique, for you."

We finally reached Ponyville, and the moon was fully overhead. The town was empty. I guess it was because it was a little late in the night. "So, Twilight, which house is yours?" We walked up to a giant, hollowed out tree. "I'm guessing this is it, huh?" She nodded and opened the door. She motioned me to come in. I had t crouch a little to fit in the doorway. We all said our goodbyes, and the other girls made their way towards their own homes. I looked at a clock, suspended on the wall, telling me it was 8:00 P.M.

"Spike! Come here please." At that, a short lizard-like creature walked down the stairs towards us.

"Yes, Twiligh-" He stopped talking and stared directly at me. "Who's your friend."

"Hi there, Spike, my name is Justin. I'm gonna be staying here for awhile. I came from another planet, because of Pinkie shooting a Portal, with which I fell through and ended up here. Forever." Spike walked over to me to get a better look at me. He's just barely above my femur. His spines on his head reach up past my stomach.

"Well, it's great to meet you Justin. I'm a dragon."

"That's cool. Hey, Twilight. Do you have a shower? I smell like shit, right now."

"Yeah, It's through that door and to your left down the hall." She pointed to a door, on our left, inside her circular library.

"Thanks." I walked towards the door and behind it was a kitchen. I looked to my left and sure enough, there was a hallway. I walked down it and found two doors. I opened the one on the left and their was a washer and a dryer. "Oops, wrong door." I closed the door and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out a towel and laid it out. I turned on the water and stripped myself down. I washed my hair and my body.

It's a good thing they have rags here.

I turned off the water and stepped onto the towel and dried myself off. I put my clothes back on and grabbed the wet rag and towel and walked out of the bathroom. Twilight and Spike were in the kitchen cooking some dinner. "Twilight, where do you want me to put the wet towel and rag."

"Oh, just throw them into the laundry room. I will pick them up tomorrow." I walked back down towards the laundry room and threw the wet cloths onto the floor.

"What are we eating tonight?"

"Salad." She said with a smile. I don't really like salad, but I might as well eat it. The table was low and their weren't any chairs either. Their were only cushions on the floor. I sat on the one across from Twilight. Spike came over and set the bowls down in front of us and sat on the cushion to my left.

"So, Justin. Do you want to tell me a little about yourself?" I told him basically what I told the girls.

"Aaaand that's basically why I mostly hate a lot of people at my school. Now you tell me about yourself."

"Okay, well, I'm a dragon. I'm 9 years old and I love to eat gems, I love to sleep, and I love Rar-" He quickly put a hand over his mouth as to not tell me what he loves.

"Hehe, you love Rarity, don't you?"

"Please, please, please, don't tell her or anyone else," he begged me with pleading eyes of mercy.

"Don't worry, bro, I won't tell her. Now, you were informing me about yourself."

"Thank you, anyways, I basically work here with Twilight as her assistant. And she is also like my mom or my big sister." He smiled towards Twilight and she smiled back. Ugh how I miss my mom and big sister. "I don't really care for music and I hate books and being woken up from my naps." At that, we all finished our salads. I took their bowls and set them into the sink. After that, I made a big yawn.

"This has been a very eventful and tiring day." I said as we walked out of the kitchen. "Where am I gonna sleep?" Twilight then stopped for a few seconds then slapped her face.

"I completely forgot I only have one bedroom and one bed." I walked over to the wall, across from the doorway of the kitchen, took off my jacket, balled it up, and set it on the floor. I laid down on it and faced the wall. "Ah well, goodnight."

"No, Justin. You can sleep in the bed with me," she said. I sat up and looked at her.

"Um,no. I'm fine right here."

"Justin, it's hard and dirty and-"

"No, it's not. I slept on floors before. I'm not gonna sleep in a bed with you. It will make me feel uncomfortable." I said sternly.

"But I-"

"No! Look, watch this" I pulled out my MP4 and turned it on. The song So Frail by Mirrorthrone started to play. She heard the deafening scream that started off the song and watched me lay down.

She lifted my right earphone and spoke, "At least let me go get you a blanket." I nodded and she went upstairs to her room, and got a blanket out from her linen closet. She placed it softly on me. I was already asleep before she had gotten me the blanket.

"Good night, Justin." She then walked back upstairs and went to sleep.

Chapter 4

I woke up this morning, yawning, stretching, and the nice feeling of my back cracking. I looked at the clock on the wall, Hmmm, 9 o' clock. I never woke up this early on my own before. I smelled something out of nowhere. It seemed like it came from the kitchen. I walked over to it to see what it was. I opened the door and it was Spike. He was wearing a chef's hat and apron, standing on a stool, cooking something on the stove. "Good morning, Spike." Spike jumped in surprise.

"Oh, It's you. You scared me a little." He said, holding his chest.

"Sorry about that, I just smelled the food and it smells delicious."

"Thanks, it's pancakes."

I walked over to the stove to see the pancakes, sizzling in the pan. "Do you want me to get the syrup?"

"Yes, please. It's in the pantry, over there." He pointed to the wall, next to the hallway. I walked towards it and opened the door. To my surprise, I noticed all of the contents are in ABC order. I looked around and found 'S' and grabbed the syrup and placed it on the table.

"Where are the plates?" Without a word, Spike pointed to his right, next to the fridge. I opened the cabinet and grabbed three plates. I set them all at the table, where we all ate from last night. "And where are the drinks." Again, he pointed toward the fridge, except this time, a little to the right of the cabinet of plates. I grabbed 3 cups and set those at the table. walked towards the fridge and looked to see what they had to drink. Apple Juice, Orange Juice, Grape Juice, Carrot Juice, and Tea......... Oh my god, they have Tea. I grabbed the tea and poured me some. "What do you want to drink, Spike?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, Orange Juice, please. And I think Twilight would like some Carrot Juice." I poured them both drinks and sat at my seat, waiting for the pancakes to be done. In silence........

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Twilight was in her room, sleeping. She awoke with a stir and got up to brush her hair. She was looking in the mirror while brushing. Pinkie Pie appeared in the mirror, and startled Twilight. "Ahh!" She fell back and Pinkie caught her with her two front hooves. Pinkie! Why are you in my ro-" Pinkie stuck her hoof in Twilight's mouth to keep her quiet.

"Shhhhhhhh. I'm inviting you to Justin's, 'Welcome to Ponyville' surprise party. I need you to show him around town, until we can get things all set up. And I need you to invite the others without Justin knowing. Don't worry about Rainbow Dash, though, I'm having her help out with hanging the decorations " Twilight nodded. "Good. See you at the party." With that, Pinkie jumped out of Twilight's window. Twilight walked towards the window and shut it. She walked to her bedroom door and went downstairs to get herself some breakfast.

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I was sitting and waiting for the pancakes for what seemed like hours. Twilight walked into the kitchen, tired and with bags on her eyes. She looked really tired and worn out. Like she had just ran a marathon, or something. "Jeez Twilight, did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not really, I stayed up studying up on some more magic." I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Wait, you can do magic? How so?"

"Well, only Unicorns can only do magic, hence the horn, and we learn magic through books, hoping to recreate other magic tricks famous mares and stallions have done."

"Huh. I thought those were just for fighting."

"That, too. But we prefer our magic. Plus, we ponies are a peaceful species. Unless if something harms us first, then we harm them back."

"Well, you ponies don't have to worry about me harming any of you. I'm a pacifist, or a paci-hoof, or however that word is pronounced here." After that, Spike came over and gave us each 3 pancakes. He set his chef's hat and apron on the counter and joined us at the table. Twilight told me story after story about famous Unicorns, mostly Starswirl the Bearded. I interrupted her to ask her what those markings were on her backside. She said they are called 'Cutie Marks'. I told her how on my world, we have a similar thing, but called tattoos. We all finished up our pancakes, and I volunteered to put up the plates again. After I cleaned up the dishes, I walked into the circular library with Twilight and Spike. "Hey Twilight. Do you have a brush I can borrow?" I asked as I scratched my hair.

"Sure, wait here and I'll go get it for you." She told me as she walked upstairs towards her room. She came back down moments later, levitating the broom in her magical grip.

"I guess you weren't kidding about all of that magic stuff, huh?" She shook her head, as I grabbed the brush from her. I walked back into the kitchen to go to the bathroom. I noticed something while I was brushing my hair. My little stubble of a mustache was gone. Awesome! No more shaving. I walked back into the circular room of the library and gave her the brush back. "What's with the bags? You going somewhere?"

"By me, you mean 'we'. I'm gonna give you a tour of Ponyville."

"Okay, but just so you know, I'm a little nervous."

"It's alright. We're gonna visit Applejack first. Get the long walk out of the way. And our last stop will be Sugar Cube Corner."

"Cool." I grabbed my MP4 and my jacket, put it on, and zipped it up halfway. Twilight opened the door and motioned me to leave first. I stepped out of her house and took a deep breath of the fresh air that wafted all throughout Ponyville. We started to walk to where it seemed like Ponyville Park, but going towards it at a different angle.

We walked for about 20 minutes until we got to her barn. Doesn't really surprise me that it's a barn. We walked up to it and knocked on the door. But Applejack didn't answer it. A little pony that had the same, but a little darker, coat color as Fluttershy. She had a giant bow in her hair, and she just stared up at me. She was the same height of my knee, if not taller. I knelt down so she could get a better look at me. She stepped a few inches back, but not in fear. "Hi. My name is Justin. I am a new resident in Ponyville and Twilight here is showing me around. What is your name?"

"Ma' name is Applebloom. And it's a pleasure meetin' ya' Justin."

"It's a pleasure meeting you, too, Applebloom. Do you mind showing me where your big sister Applejack is?"

"Sure thing, follow me." We followed Applebloom into the biggest apple orchard I have ever seen. I looked all around and there was nothing but tree after tree. A lot of them had apples on them and some of them didn't. I'm guessing Applejack had been picking apples all morning.

As we got farther into the orchard, I could hear a loud noise. I couldn't figure it out myself. When we finally reached the source of the noise, it was Applejack, bucking a tree. She was stronger than I had imagined. She kicks a tree once and all of the apples fall down into 3 baskets. "That'samazing." I said, after she got done kicking the tree.

"Oh. Why thank ya' kindly. Hey Twi', what brings y'all here?"

"I'm just showing Justin around town. You know, to help him get to know his new home town. Do you want to come with?"

"Ah' wish Ah' could, sugarcube. But Ah' have a lotta work ta' do. Big Macintosh took the day off ta' go help Pinkie at Sugar Cube Corner. And Ah' need to do some of his work. But Ah' will surely meet y'all at Sugar Cube Corner as soon as Ah' get done."

"Applejack, do you mind if I try and get all of the apples out of a tree?"

"Sure, if ya' think y'all are up ta' the task."

"I am." I looked around for a good tree. When I found one, I started looking around for some empty baskets. I grabbed three of them around another tree and set them under it. I then walked about 20 feet away from the tree, and stared it down. I ran fast towards the tree, "AAAAAHHHH!" When I was right under it, I stopped dead in my tracks, and climbed it. I was at the internal parts of where the branches extend, and I'm picking an apple one by one, dropping them into the baskets below me. I crawled all around the tree for every last one of the apples, and when I got done, I jumped down. I stood up, as if I were a god.The girls were staring at me in amazement. I was sweating and panting. "Well, that was fun."

"Justin, that was astonishing. But, I do have one question. Why did you go back, run, then stop under the tree, just to climb it and not hit it?

"Easy, Twilight. To build up tension." They all looked at me a little mad, until I broke it by laughing. They all started to laugh with me. "Well, I'm ready to go see the rest of Ponyville. Come on Twilight. It was nice seeing you again, Applejack."

"Twas' a pleasure seeing ya' again, Justin. And thank ya' for helping me out with this tree."

"It was fun. Bye." We started to venture out of the orchard. That is, until I felt a little tug on my pants leg. I looked down and it was Applebloom, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Can Ah' come with y'all?"

"Of course you can, sweety. Come on." I said as I motioned for her to follow. She did so with a big smile. We were all walking toward Ponyville to visit Rarity at Carousal Boutique.

We've been walking for about 15 minutes and Applebloom asks me, "Can you carry me the rest of the way?" I looked down at her and grabbed her by her sides and set her on my head. Her belly resting against the top of my head, she started laughing because my hair was tickling her. I had to adjust my glasses a bit, because her hooves kept accidentally moving them. She wasn't that heavy, either. I think she weighed about 15 pounds or somewhere around that. "Where are we going, anyways?"

"We are now going to Rarity's Boutique." Twilight answered.

"Ah' really hope Sweetie Belle is there."

We walked for a little while longer until we met a brown stallion. He had spiked hair flipped backwards and was walking towards us.

"Good morning, Doctor Whooves." Wait a minute. Did she just say Doctor Whooves. Like that one fictional character off of that British t.v. show?

"Good morning, Twilight." He said as he started to glance at me. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Justin. Justin this is Doctor Whooves." I wasn't really paying attention to her. I was just looking at one of my favorite actors as a pony. He looked kind of like him, too. The hair, the way he talked, and his Cutie Mark represented a hour glass, which probably meant that he was a Time Lord, too.

"Hello Doctor. It's a pleasure to meet you. And, um, your name wouldn't happen to be spelled with a 'W' in the beginning, would it?"

"Why yes, it does. How did you know?"

"Well, back on Earth there is a similar person that looks like you but more of a human, not a pony." I explained to him what a human was after that.

"This human version of myself wouldn't happen to be a Time Lord like me, would he?"

"Well, not technically. He's just an actor in a t.v. show, and a best one at that."

"It was nice meeting you, Justin. But I have to go and pick up some sweets from Sugar Cube Corner." He, then, walked towards the direction of Sugar Cube Corner.

"I guess Sugar Cube Corner must be a popular place then, huh?" I asked Twilight.

"Yeah, it is a very popular place, here in Ponyville." She said a little awkwardly. I looked at her suspiciously, but brushed it off. I even started to notice the lack of ponies. I looked around and the streets were almost completely deserted.

"Hey, Twilight, why are there no ponies out?"

"They.....uh.....they-they must still be asleep." She told me with an awkward smile. I looked at, what I'm guessing was Town Hall's clock.

"But it's 12:00 o' clock. Either everyone, but us had a rough night. Or they're all lazier than me." They both chuckled at me. That made me realize. Now that I live here, I better start looking for a job. I turned my head all around for any 'Help Wanted' signs, with Applebloom following my head.

"Whow-whoa," she said as she was trying to stay on my head. "Careful, Justin. Ah' almost fell off. What'cha lookin' for
anyways?"

"Oh, sorry Applebloom. Now that I'm living here, I need to start looking for a job." I said as we approached Rarity's home. I couldn't find any stores, or what seemed like stores, that had a 'Help Wanted' sign. Ahh well, next time around, I guess. Twilight knocks on the door.

"Rarity? Are you home?" No answer. She opens the door and proceeds to go inside. I followed her and looked at how nice and neat the inside was. I looked around and found dresses on ponyquins for sale. "I will look downstairs for her, you and Applebloom check for her upstairs." I nodded and Applebloom saluted. I walked upstairs and stared down the hallway. "OK Applebloom, you probably know this house better than I do. Which room is which?"

She pointed to the door closest to us on our right, "That's Rarity's room." She pointed to the next door down the hallway a small bit away down, "That's Sweetie Belle's room." She pointed back towards the left down the hall farther, "That's Rarity's studio." She pointed back further down the hall, on our right, "That's the bathroom." She finally pointed towards the door all the way down the hallway. "And Ah' think that's the linen closet." I walked over to Rarity's room and knocked. I got no answer and knocked again. Still no answer. I walked over to her studio and knocked. Yet again, no answer. I opened the door slowly. Applebloom stuck her head in first and looked around. I stuck my head in next and looked around. She was at her desk, sleeping. I walked over to her and nudged her.

"Rarity? Rarity wake up." She woke up with a startle, mane and tail a mess, and red, gemed glasses hanging off her face. She looked at me with fright, while I just looked at her with a smile. "Morning, sleepy head." Applebloom snickered a bit.

"Justin? Applebloom? What are you doing here? Oh, I must look dreadful."

"No, no, you look great. Twilight is showing me around town and we went to Sweet Apple Acres first. That's where I met Applebloom. She wanted to tag along and I didn't mind at all. We knocked on your door and you didn't answer, so we came in."

"But why is Applebloom on your head?"

"She got tired of walking so much, so I picked her up and carried her here on my head."

"Where's Twilight?"

"She's probably downstairs, waiting on us to come down with or without you."

"I will be down in a minute. Let me tidy up my mane and tail and get Sweetie Belle out of bed."

"Okay." I walked out of Rarity's studio and down stairs, into her living room. Twilight was sitting, on her haunches, in a chair on the far left of the boutique. I sat on the sofa across from her, and set Applebloom on it. I told Twilight what we saw. But after that, we were sitting there in silence for 5 minutes until Rarity came down stairs with a white coated filly. She looked the same age as Applebloom. I guess that's Sweetie Belle. "Hi there. I'm Justin, you must be Sweetie Belle."

"I am and you must be Justin. It's great to meet you." She said as she rubbed her eye.

"I'm gonna go make us some tea." Rarity said, Twilight following her to the kitchen.

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"Her Rarity. Pinkie wanted me to invite all of our friends to Justin's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party."

"Why thank you, Twilight. I shall be there." Rarity said as she started to make the tea.

"Rarity, why were you asleep in your studio? I thought we talked about that." She said sternly.

"Hehe, sorry. But I knew that Justin only had one pair of clothes, and the ones he is wearing are just ghastly. I couldn't let him look like that forever. I wanted to surprise him. So I tried to make him some clothes, but I couldn't because I didn't have his right measures. But I had to at least try."

"You can go ask him if you can get his measures right now." They argued about it until the tea was done. They walked back into the living room with five glasses on a fancy trey.

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Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were both in my lap and I was petting them. I looked across the room and saw the girls coming this way. I set the girls on either side of me and moved some of the magazines, on top of the coffee table, to make room for the trey. I grabbed myself a cup and started drinking the tea. It was a little hot since it was just made. None of us talked for a little while until Rarity broke the silence. She explained to me why she was asleep in her studio and that she needed to measure me if i wanted new clothes. I let her do it, because I can't just live in Ponyville with just one pair of clothing. I told her it would be okay. She led me towards this circular podium and told me to stand straight up and spread my arms out.

She measured me for about twenty-five minutes and every time one of the measuring tapes tickled me, I let out a laugh and that's what made the other girls laugh. Finally, Rarity got done with all of the measuring and told me I should have new clothes by the end of the day. I picked Applebloom back up and set her on top of my head again. We were headed towards the door, until Sweetie Belle pulled on my shoe lace to get my attention. She asked if it would be okay if she could come. I picked her up and held her in my arm, her body leaning up against my chest. I was now carrying somewhere around thirty pounds of weight. Still wasn't that heavy.

We are now heading to Fluttershy's house. I was still looking all over the place for a 'Help Wanted' sign on the way there. I found one, and it was for a masseuse or masseur. I could apply for that.

"Twilight, is it hard to massage ponies? Because I think I might work at that spa over there."

"I never massaged anyone, but I don't think it would be that hard. Is that where you really want to work at?

"Well, I can't sew, I can't bake, I would get tired after picking the second or third tree. I'm not really good at organizing, I'm okay with animals, but I don't like to work with them. And I can't control weather. I would love to work at an Insane Asylum, but there doesn't appear to be one in Ponyville.

"Ponyville doesn't have one, but Fillydelphia does."

"That is a hilarious name for a town."

"Why?"

"I have no idea." I knew I heard the name of a town that sounded like Fillydelphia, but I couldn't figure it out. I never really was good at Geography. After a few short minutes, we arrived at Fluttershy's.....cottage.....? I walked over the bridge, holding on tight to the girls, just in case something might happen. I don't want them to get wet and it be my fault. I knocked on the door and waited for Fluttershy to answer. But she didn't open it, a bunny did.

"Aw, cool, a bunny." I knelt down to pet it, but it kicked my hand away. "Ooooooookaaaaayyyy." I said as I was rubbing my hand where he hit it. "Well, is Fluttershy home?" I asked it, still wondering if I'm holding onto my sanity. He pointed his paw inside and I walked in. The cottage looked pretty cool. There were stairs all over the place for animals to climb on, and surprisingly, no droppings on the floor.

"You three wait here, I'm gonna go find Fluttershy." I did a small nod, making sure Applebloom doesn't fall off. I walked over to her couch and set the girls down. The bunny walked over to us holding a bowl of pretzels and set them on the coffee table.

"Thanks, dude." I grabbed a pretzel and ate it. I grabbed more and held them in front of the girls. Sweetie Belle ate them all without giving Applebloom a chance to react. I picked up the bowl and handed it to her. She started eating them as fast as she could. Hehe, I forgot she didn't eat breakfast.

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Twilight went out the back door of Fluttershy's cottage. She looked all around, and found her at the chicken coop, feeding her chickens. She walked over to her and watched her feed the chickens for a bit.

"Hey, Fluttershy."

"Eeep!" She squealed out of fright.

"Sorry Fluttershy, I came here to show Justin around town. I also came to give you an invitation to his 'Welcome to Ponyville' party. Are you gonna come?"

"Yes. I will be there as soon as I'm done feeding the animals."

"Okay, see you at the party."

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I looked over at the clock and saw that it was already 3:30. All that's left now is Rainbow Dash and Pinkie's place. I saw Twilight come out from behind the corner and asked if we were ready. We all nodded in unison. I picked up Sweetie Belle and put her on my head, this time. She deserves a ride, too. I grabbed Applebloom and carried her the same way as I did with Sweetie Belle.

"Where to now?" I asked as we headed out the door.

"Rainbow Dash's cloud house." Wait. She lives in a cloud. That's awesome.

As we were approaching her cloud house, we saw another filly, sitting under her cloud. She had an orange coat and had a purple colored mane. We walked up to her and Twilight asked, "Why are you sitting under Rainbow Dash's cloud, Scootaloo?"

"I'm just waiting on Rainbow DaAAAHH-!" She yelled as she saw me.

"Hello. I am Justin. I am a new resident here in Ponyville. Who are you?"

"I'm Scootaloo. It's nice to see you. I'm sorry I screamed, it's just that, I've never seen anything like you before."

"That is an awesome name. And it's okay, my species doesn't travel here a lot."

"I guess Rainbow Dash isn't home, do you mind if I come with you guys?"

I picked up Scootaloo, with one arm, and held her the exact same way as I did with Applebloom. "Yes," I answered. I am now holding three fillies.

"They aren't that heavy to you, Justin?"

"Nuh uh, I think Scootaloo is the lightest."

"Are yah' callin' us fat!?"

"No, I'm just saying that Scootaloo is probably the lightest, because she is probably the youngest."

"I actually am."

"See. No hard feelings." We were now heading to Sugar Cube Corner. I can't wait to see Pinkie again. She, somehow, always makes me happy. I wonder how she makes her hair so poofy. It even looks like cotton candy. I bet when she was young, she actually chewed on her own mane to see if it was. We were now nearing a giant house made of sweets. I bet it's all plastic. We neared the door and I opened it. The lights were off, and suddenly....

"SURPRISE!!" A whole bunch of ponies jumped out of hidden places and scared me a little. Some of them were a little bit scared of me. Some looked at me in curiosity. And one aqua colored pony looked at me in amazement. I sat the three fillies down on the floor and they ran off into the crowd.

"I'm guessing Pinkie planned this whole thing, am I right?"

"That's right!" Screamed the pink pony appearing upside down and in my face, once again. I grabbed her body and set her down on the floor.

"Thank you. Now all of the ponies of Ponyville can meet me at once. That's good." I spotted a table filled with cupcakes, candies, and loads of other sweets. "Can I have some?"

"Go right ahead. This is your party after all, silly!" I reached down and grabbed a cupcake, while all the ponies watched. It made me a bit uncomfortable, but I just ate it, not giving any second thought. And that's when I had my most happiest moment in my life.

"Pinkie. This is the most amazing thing I have ever had in my entire life." I said in monotone. I saw all the ponies just standing there, staring at me. "Well, what are you guys waiting for. LET'S PARTY!"

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH" Screamed a white coated mare behind a DJ turntable. She started to play some House music. That is most likely Vinyl. I walked over to her, because this is a pony I just have to meet.

"Hey, there. You must be Vinyl Scratch."

"Yeah, and you must be the guest of honor." I laughed a bit at that.

"That I am. It's nice to meet you. This song is amazing. Did you make it?"

"Yeah. It's called 'Negative Energy'.

"That is an awesome title. Do you mind if I see something on your turntable?"

"Sure. Go right ahead." I was looking around to see if she had an audio jack for me to plug my MP4 in. I need to charge it. I found an audio jack and plugged it in. It fit, but the music stopped playing. I scrolled through my songs to find the best dubstep song.

"Here, Vinyl. This is a song made from my people. It's called 'Bass Cannon'." I played the song and she had a look of interest on her face. When the bass dropped, she drooled.

"This is amazing! Do you mind if I held onto your device for the night? I wanna see what other songs you have." I handed her the MP4 and she levitated it with her magic. I walked over to the set of stairs, Pinkie has in her house. I sat on the third step and watched all of the ponies dance to the music. Twilight was the worse dancer, by far.

It was about 9:00 and I was still sitting on the stairs. I saw a lot of ponies passed out on the floor from drinking so much. Pinkie walked up to me and asked me a question. "Justin, do you think you can help me get these passed out ponies into the kitchen? I set up some sleeping bags for this occasion, because I knew this was going to happen."

"Sure thing, Pinkie. Anything for somepony who makes me a party." I stood up and helped her with all of the passed out ponies. There were only 5 ponies out, cold. I picked one up and carried her to the kitchen. She had a purple coat and berries for her cutie mark. I set her into the sleeping bag and zipped it up. I walked back out and picked up another. It was the aqua colored pony that looked at me in a different way than all of the others. I set her in a sleeping bag and walked back into the main room and sat back down on the stairs. All of the girls walked over to me.

"Ay' Justin. Great party, uh." Said a drunk Rainbow Dash.

"Hehe, yeah it's an awesome party."

"Well, it was great seeing you, again. And I wish you and your wife a great marriage together." She said as she flew softly into a wall, and fell onto the floor snoring.

"This might be a dumb question, but DID I get married?"

"No, you didn't. She's just had too much Applejack Daniel's"

"I'm guessing that's an alcoholic beverage." Twilight nodded.

"Here ya' go, sugarcube. Try it."

"The legal drinking age, where I'm from, is 21. I'm still 15."

"But the legal drinking age here is 15. So y'all should be safe." I shrugged it off and grabbed the bottle, standing up. I opened it up and drank it all almost at once.

"Is it ta' your likin'?

"Hold that thought AJ." I said in a bit of a slur. "There's just one more person I need to meet."

"And who might that be."

"The floor," I answered and fell straight to the floor, passed out, cold.

**********************************************************************************************************

"I guess he was right. The legal drinking age for HIS kind is 21." Twilight said. "Can he stay here with you, Pinkie?" She nodded. "Thank you." She levitated Justin into Pinkie's room and folded his jacket into a ball for a pillow. She walked back down stairs and said her goodbyes to her friends.

Pinkie grabbed Dash by her tail and dragged her into the kitchen and put her into the last sleeping bag. She walked back upstairs into her room, and noticed Justin on the floor. She grabbed her pillow and set it next to him. Pinkie was now lying next to Justin, back to back.

**********************************************************************************************************

Author's Note: I am sorry this chapter took me so long. I got caught up in a lot of homework and was trying to finish up this amazing drawing I did. I will post it up in a blog, when I finish coloring it. I hope that this chapter being so long that it will make up for the lateness of it. Don't be expecting a new one this weekend, because I will be very busy. But hopefully, I can get done coloring my picture.

Chapter 5

I lazily sat up, head hurting, and back aching. I looked around the room and saw balloons everywhere. Stickers on the turquoise colored wallpaper. I found her clock and noticed the time. 6:00! Are you serious!? Well, at least I can go see if the spa is open. I looked all over the place and finally found Pinkie lying next to me, hair straight down. I got up and walked to her bedroom's bathroom. I looked in the mirror, or what I could look in it. She had even more stickers plastered all over it. She shaped it to be her exact height and her exact look, as if she stood in front of it. Probably to make sure her hair was perfectly poofy. I stared at myself through the mirror, thinking. Aww crap. I went to bed too early to even get a chance to hang out with the girls. They're probably pissed at me I finally noticed my hair was a complete mess. I looked around the counter and couldn't find a brush. I didn't want to go through her stuff, in case if she had some personal items. I felt guilty having to wake up a peaceful pony. I nudged her until she woke up. "Huh? Oh, good morning, Justin. Did you sleep well enough?"

"Yeah, thanks for keeping me company. I do have a question, though." I said as she stood up. Her hair was completely straightened and not poofy at all. "Do you have a brush I could borrow?"

"I don't own one."

"Then, how do you make your hair so perfectly curly and poofy?"

"Like this," she said as she pointed her hoof at her hair. I looked at it for a minute, and suddenly *POOF*. Her hair went exactly the way it always is.

"Okay, it is too early in the morning to try and figure out how you did that." I went back to the bathroom to try and straighten my hair with my fingers. When I got my hair as straight as I could get it to be, I opened her bedroom door.

"Where ya going?"

I looked behind me and saw Pinkie picking up her pillow. "I'm gonna go to the spa and see if I can be a masseur. I figured since now that I live here, I might as well get a job." I turned to get out the bedroom, but Pinkie appeared in front of me. I turned back and forth, trying to figure out how she did that. "If you didn't know, humans can't walk through ponies. Could you move, please." She shook her head, frantically.

"Nope. I am not going to let you go until you take a shower. You smell." I turned around, walked to the door and shut it.

"Pinkie, where are the towels?"

"In the cabinet, under the sink." I knelt down and grabbed a towel and laid it out. At least I can now get the fur out of my hair.

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Pinkie walked downstairs and started to clean up the shop.That is, until a knock came to her door. She walked over to the door and opened it. Her friends were all there, ready to help her clean up. She noticed with all of the garbage bags.

"You guys don't have to help me. I can do it on my own."

"No can do, sugarcube. We attended this party. We're gonna help ya' clean up."

"Thanks, you guys are the bestest friends a pony could have."

"Darling? Where's Justin. I got done with his garments after I got home."

"He's in my bathroom, taking a shower. It's a good thing you got him some new clothes. His original ones looked very dirty." Rarity walked up stairs into Pinkie's bedroom. She levitated Justin's clothes out from her saddle bag and put them on the floor, next to his jacket. She walked out the bedroom and closed the door returning to her friends to help them clean up.

****************************************************************************************************

I got out of the shower and stepped on the towel to dry off. I was a little mad that I had to make my hair straight again. I put my clothes back on and walked out of the bathroom. I went to pick up my jacket when I noticed more clothes on the floor. I picked them up and looked at them. The shirt was red and it had an amazing design on it. It showed my MP4 at the bottom and the earphone wires going from it to the neck hole. And a little to the right, it showed my glasses hanging off the neck hole, as well. I put it on and set my other shirt on the floor. I saw the pair of jeans she made for me. They were green. I put them on and grabbed my old clothes. I started to walk out the bedroom and into the living room to find all the girls, except for Rainbow Dash, cleaning up. "I see you guys are having fun." I said sarcastically.

"Good morning, Justin. Do you like the clothes I made for you?"

"Are you kidding me!? You know my style better than my own mother. Thank you so much. How can I repay you for these amazing clothes?"

"You don't need to do that. The first pair are on me." She said with a smile.

"Twilight, can you wash these for me?"

"Sure." I gave her the clothes and my jacket. I walked over to Vinyl's turntable and found her on the floor, holding my MP4 still. I picked it up and picked her up. The girls all stared at me, as if they thought I was gonna do something bad. I walked to the kitchen, hoping that there was one more sleeping bag. The one where I put the aqua pony in, was empty. I guess she left early. I put Vinyl in the sleeping bag and zipped it up. Her hair was straight and messy. How DID she make her hair all spikey like that. It's like she just.....defied gravity by doing so. I walked out the kitchen and into the main room. "Do you girls want me to help clean up?"

"No, you go and get your job. We can take it from here." Pinkie said, as she shooed me out. I opened the door and walked out into the open. Ponies were outside, in front of stands waiting for people to buy items from them. Some of them waved at me, and others said 'Hey'. I turned on my MP4 and started listening to my music. After a minute of listening to one song, I started air guitaring. I got weird looks and laughs from pony residents. I just waved to them and continued my journey to the spa.

"Looook oUT BELOOOOOWWW!!" I faintly heard the scream and looked up. A grey pegasus carrying a bag was heralding towards me, and I just stood there. Not a moment later, she crashed into me. I was now lying on the dirt ground, while she was on top of me. "O-oh my gosh! I am so sorry, ma'am. Are you okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I'm okay. More importantly, are you?"

"I am, thank you."

"Also, I'm a sir. Not a ma'am. What's your name."

"Derpy Hooves. Mail carrier and muffin lover." She said as I stood up. I noticed her eyes weren't in there right spots.

"Are your eyes okay?"

"Yeah, they're always like this. I don't like it."

"I do. I think it's adorable and cool. I wish I could do that."

"Thank you. But why do you want to have eyes like this."

"Well, not like that forever, but to where I could control them. Like whenever my friends are talking to me, I would randomly do it just to piss them off. That would be fun."

"Haha. That does sound fun. Bad thing is, I can't control it. It was great meeting you Justin, but I have a lot of mail to deliver. Have a great day. Bye"

"You to, Derpy. Good luck with the mail. Good bye."

After that, I continued my amazing adventure to the spa. I put my earphones in and started air guitaring again. After about 30 minutes, I finally reached my destination. It was closed. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-! It opens at 8 o' clock everyday and ends at 7 o' clock. I looked at the clock and it was 7:30 Well, that's not too bad. It's only about........... a lot of hours. I was never good at math. I sat on the ground and waited for the manager to show up. After another 30 minutes of loudness in my ears, two mares were walking towards the spa. One was pink and had her mane was light blue. She had a little wrap of cloth at the top of her head to hold it back. The other pony was the same thing, but the colors were vice versa'd. It finally hit me. They're twins. They both noticed me and looked at me weird. Were that at my party? They got to the door and started to unlock it with a key. I got up and walked towards them.

"Hi. My name is Justin. I'm a new resident of Ponyville, and I was wondering if I could get a job here as a masseur." They both looked at each other in almost perfect unison. And they nodded in perfect unison. Twins are scary. They motioned me to follow them. They aren't the much of talkers. The lobby was simple. There was a desk and a couple of chairs and couches with magazines. I followed them down a hallway. They opened a door, and all there was a massage table, candles, a chair, a shelf lined with different lotions, and a radio. The pink one got on the table and laid down.

"My name is Aloe. And that is my sister Lotus. For the test to see if you can massage, you are going to massage me." She said with a smile.

"Kay." I walked over to the table and placed my hands on her back. She had soft fur, but very tense muscles. I didn't know that being a masseur/masseuse would be stressful. Unless if she does a lot of other stuff outside of work. Or probably because she's a manager. I massaged her for about an hour. It was pretty easy. She lazily got up, and stared at me with half closed eyes and a big smile.

"That was amazing. You're definitely hired. Do you think you can work today?"

"Sure, I don't care."

"Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! I will make the 'New Service' sign." Lotus said, with glee. I just laughed. I walked over to the door and opened it for them. They walked out, I shut the door, then sat in the chair. It had been about twenty-seven minutes before my first customer. It would it be, but Rarity.

"Well if it isn't my favorite glamorous mare. Rarity."

"Justin!? You work here now?"

"No. I just snuck in and am now pretending to be a masseur. Of course I do. Where else would I work at?"

"Don't get that attitude with me, mister. I thought you would work at the barber parlor."

"Nope. I suck with scissors. Now, to get down to business. How long did you order?"

"An hour."

"Alright. Get on the massage table, and we'll get started. Do you want any lotion?"

"No thank you." She walked over to the table and laid down. I started to massage her. Sweet Jesus! This is the most stressed out mare in the whole world. She felt more tensed than Aloe. I rubbed a little bit harder than before to try and get them out better. I rubbed all of her back and her hind legs until her hour was up. "That was a great massage. Thank you so much." She hands me a gold coin and I just stare at it. "Have a great rest of the day. See you later."

"Bye Rarity." She walks out of the room and closes the door. I just stared at the coin for awhile, then put it in my pocket. I just got my first tip........ Awesome!! I sat back down in my chair, waiting for the next customer to arrive. After about a few minutes another mare walks in. She had a sort of white coat and red hair. She had a Cutie Mark of a rose.

"Aren't you a different looking pony."

"I'm not a pony. I'm a human. I guess you didn't come to the party."

"So THAT'S what all that ruckus was. Well, I'm Rose. Oooohhh! Original. it's great to meet you, mister~......?"

"Justin. What did you order."

"I ordered the thirty minute treatment. With lotion, please."

"What lotion?"

"Ohay lotion." I walked over to the shelf, and scanned it for any lotion. I found it and walked over to the table. She was already laying down. I put a dab of it and rubbed it on her back. She wasn't as stressed as Rarity or Aloe. I did a little slower than before, so I can rub the lotion in. In what felt like a short time, her thirty minutes were up. She looked at me the same way Aloe did, and gave me two gold coins. As I put the coins in my pocket, she said, "Thank you so much, Justin. It was nice meeting you."

"It was great meeting you, Rose." She walked out and I went and sat on the chair. Waiting for my next customer. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was eleven o' clock. This is gonna be a long day.

I only got a few more mares after twelve o' clock. They all gave me a gold or a few silver coins. They knew me from the party. I never did get to meet them, because I just sat on the stairs. It was finally seven. I walked out of my massage room to find Aloe and Lotus. They looked at me happily and gave me a sack. I looked in it to find two brown coins, 4 silver coins, and one gold coin. "I'm guessing today is Payday." They nodded in unison.

"Saturday is Payday. You only work on Monday to Saturday. So you get the day off tomorrow."

"Thank you so much. I will see you girls Monday." I walked towards the door and noticed the sign Lotus made. It said 'New Service' in bright colors. "Mrs. Lotus. Do you mind making the sign say 'New Service, Human Masseur', please."

"Whatever you want." She said with a smile. I walked out the door and saw the amazing sun set, down the road. Maybe I should go visit Fluttershy. She is the closest. I made my way to Fluttershy's cottage. I put my earphones in and listen to calm music. The smell around the area was that of nature. It was wonderful and relaxing. After about ten minutes, finally arrived at my destination. I knocked on the door and her bunny answered it. "Is Fluttershy home?" He motioned me to come inside. I complied and sat down on her couch and set the sack of coins on her coffee table.. He brought out a bowl of pretzels for me to eat. I heard her coming down stairs and her mane was a little wet. "Hey Fluttershy."

"EEP! Oh, it's you. You scared me a little."

"I'm sorry. I just came to visit you."

"It's okay. I'm gonna make some dinner. Do you want any?"

"Yes, please." She walked into the kitchen, and I followed her.

"What are you making?"

"Angel's favorite. Salad."

"Who's Angel?"

"Angel is my pet bunny."

"ohhh. So that's his name. Do you need any help?"

"Yes. Can you please get the cabbage out of the fridge, please." I walked over to her fridge and grabbed some cabbage. I grabbed some tomatoes and ranch, too. I brought them over to her and she started cutting them up. I looked around in random cabinets for bowls and cups. I found a lot of different kinds of animal food. I found them both in the same cabinet.The utensils drawer was under the cabinet, so I grabbed two forks. I set them all on her kitchen table and walked back to her fridge. She had tea and Carrot juice.

"Do you want tea or Carrot juice?"

"Tea, please." She said in a soft voice. I grabbed the tea pitcher and set it on the counter. There was only enough for half a cup. I poured the tea in and set it at Fluttershy's bowl. I grabbed the Carrot juice and poured me a glass. I grabbed a smaller cup and poured some in for Angel. I grabbed a bowl for him, as well. I set the bowl and glass on the table. I drank some of the Carrot juice, and almost chugged it all down. It was delicious. I poured me some more and put the pitcher away. I sat at the table awaiting for the food to arrive. After about two minutes, she brought over a big bowl of salad. Angel walked in and sat on the table. I took my fork and grabbed a lot of it. I mixed it up with the ranch and took a bite out of it. It was more delicious than Twilight's salad. Why does everything taste better here than on earth? I swallowed and asked Fluttershy a question.

"Hey, Fluttershy. What is the currency in Equestria?"

"We call these coins, here, 'bits'. A brown coin is ten bits. A silver coin is fifty bits. And a gold coin is a hundred bits."

"Where's Canterlot?"

"Did you ever see a big mountain, in the background as you were walking to my house?"

"Yea."

"On the side of the mountain, Canterlot hangs on it."

"It's a good thing I brought my hiking gear."

"Oh, no. We ride a train up there."

"What IS up there, anyways?" She started telling me about the princess' castle and how enormous it was. She told me about the Castle's Garden and all of the statues. There is, apparently, a university there, too. There are a lot of fancy stores there, too.

It was about ten o' clock and we finished our salads. Angel took up the bowls and started cleaning them in the sink. "Alright Fluttershy, *yawn* I'll see you later." I said as I opened the door.

"And where do you think you're going at this hour?"

"Earth." I said in a smart ass tone. She looked at me unamused.

"Oh, no. You're gonna stay here tonight, okay." She said in a motherly demanding way.

"Ugh. Whatever you say, mom." I walked over to her couch and laid down. I pulled out my MP4 and started to listen some music. In a few minutes, she brought a blanket and put it over me. And in a second, I fell asleep.

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It turns out, we have Spring Break, so here's Chapter 5 and maybe Chapter 6 this week or weekend.

Chapter 6

I woke up finding myself on the floor. Mmmmm, the floor. So much better than the couch. I thought sarcastically. I lazily sat up and got on the couch and laid back down. As I was trying to go back to sleep, I heard wings flapping. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me up.

"C'mon, Justin. It's time to wake up."

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-!! "But I don't wanna~." I said in a whinny voice.

"Please." I turned around and saw her big, pleading eyes staring at me. I nearly died of adorableness.

"Yes, ma'am." I got up, feeling defeated. I stretched my whole body and lots of bones cracked. She flinched at all of the noises.

"I got breakfast ready." She said with a smile. I followed her into the kitchen and found waffles ready on the table. I took my seat and started eating them, frantically. "Oh....., my. Someone is hungry."

"Sorry. I really am. I have a high-metabolism. It means that I can eat as much as I want and not gain a pound."

"It's okay." She said as she took her first bite, after I ate my waffle. "So, how was sleeping on the floor." She said jokingly, while giggling.

"Jokes on you. I'm used to it."

"Well, I hope that spider is used to living in your colon." I spat out all of the food that was in my mouth.

"WHAT!?!?" I ran over to her sink and drank approximately a gallon of water.

"Hehehe. I'm just kidding. I don't take care of bugs or insects."

"Well, I will give you props for tricking me, but I have arachnophobia."

"Oh, I am so sorry. If I had known I wouldn't have said that. Please don't be mad at me."

"Fluttershy, it's okay. I don't blame you. In fact, I've been tricked a lot worse back on Earth, than here. I thought it was pretty funny. Plus, you didn't know." I said as I grabbed my plate and set it in the sink. Hmmm. Should I take a shower and put these clothes back on. Or go to Twilight's, in hope that she cleaned my old clothes, then take a shower. I decided on the second one. "Hey, Fluttershy. Where's your bathroom?"

"Upstairs and take a left." I thanked her and walked upstairs. I used her toilet and put my head under her sink to wash my hair. I got it as wet as I could and dried it off with the rag on that was on her counter. I walked back downstairs and grabbed my sack of bits. I took all of the coins out and placed them in my pocket. I put the sack back on the counter. She would probably have a better use for this than me. I opened the door and started my way towards Ponyville. I only walked about ten yards before I heard screaming. I looked around and found that the three fillies had landed in a mud puddle.

"I told y'all we couldn't do what he did. Now look at us."

"Rarity is not gonna be happy about this."

"Well, if it isn't my three favorite fillies. What happened?"

"Applebloom told us about how you picked all of the apples out of one of her trees. And I wanted to try it, but she was being a scaredy cat. Once I got up there, she and Sweetie Belle followed. We started picking the pine cones, but we all ran into each other by accident." I picked them all up and got them out of the mud.

"Let me take you girls to Twilight's to get cleaned up. I was heading there, myself, to get cleaned up. This way, no one will know you girls got dirty. Here, Scootaloo," I said as I picked her up and put her on my head, "You get to ride on top this time." She had some mud under her, but I didn't care. "Uhhh...." I said as I looked at the other two. I took my shirt off and wrapped it around my waist. I picked up the other two and carried them like I did the other day. "That's cold." They all laughed at me.

"Wait, Justin. How are you gonna get us to Twilight's without anyone seeing us? There's no way you can do that."

"Aww come on, Sweetie. There's always a way." I said as I started walking left.

"Oh yeah. I forgot that Ponyville had a back way." As I was walking, they were telling me about there adventures and about them being a group called the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'. I laughed at the name until Scootaloo bonked me on the head. They wanted me to join, but I told them 'no'. "Why not."

"Two reasons. Number one; I would be too lazy to even try. And number two; humans don't get cutie marks. We can get fake ones called 'tattoos'. They jab a needle into your body and color it with permanent ink, or something like that. I never learned about it. I wanted one, but wasn't old enough, yet. Now I can never get one."

"What was it going to be?"

"I wanted four of them. They would all say the names of my favorite bands. 'Protest the Hero' on my left leg. 'Hollywood Undead' on my right leg. 'Linkin Park' on my right arm. And 'Dethklok' on my left arm. All in different fonts."

"Geez. Them big words would hurt. Applebloom said.

"They would, but it would still look cool."

"They all sound awesome!"

"They are all awesome, Scootaloo." We've been walking and talking for about an hour. They asked me how I got here, I told them, and how I don't blame Pinkie or Rainbow. We finally made it to Twilight's house. Applebloom knocked on the door for me and Twilight answered it.

"Oh my gosh! You're all filthy!"

"And you're purple. Wanna tell me anymore obvious facts?"

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm still mad at you."

"For what?"

"For not coming home yesterday."

"I went to Fluttershy's cottage for a visit. After I was done eating dinner with her, it was ten, and I was gonna come back. But she made me sleep on the couch. And don't act like you're my mom, because I'm technically an adult here." I put the fillies down and they ran inside.

"Yeah, an adult who can't handle his alcohol."

"Says the mare with a human and a dragon as children. It seems you've been drinking a lot more than me." I said as I walked in. "Now, for the reason I came here, are my clothes clean?" I asked, as if our fight had never happened.

"Uh, um, y-yeah." She said, wondering why I wasn't mad anymore. "They're in the living room." I walked in there and found the three fillies sitting on the floor.

"And another reason I came here, can the girls take their baths here. I couldn't bring them home and have their parent figures yell at them."

"And yet, you would come here and let me yell at you, instead."

"Yeah, I don't really care. I'm pretty used to it. With my parents and teachers always yelling, I always comeback at them, or I just ignore them." I turned around and looked at the girls. "Please tell me you girls can take baths on your own."

"Of course! We're not 3." Scootaloo said. They all walked into Twilight's kitchen, dripping some mud.

"It's nice to know that I worried you."

"Why's that?"

"Back on Earth, my parents didn't care if I was out from eleven o' clock, until the ass crack of dawn. They thought I would actually be able to handle myself, if a random person came out of nowhere with a knife." I said as I sat down. "Like, one time, me and my friends went into a bar, and I accidentally picked a fight with a twenty-four year old, I think. He was a little drunk, too."

"How did you 'accidentally' pick a fight with him?"

"I bumped into him, he said some things, I smart assed him. You know how it is with me."

"Wow. OK, so, how did you avoid it or win it?

"I avoided it, of course, but with smarts. I started yelling at him, grab more attention to make him the bad guy. I punched myself in the face to confuse him and throw him off guard. I grabbed a stool in my right hand, and a beer mug filled with beer in my left. I splashed him in the face, blinding him some. I threatened to hit him with the stool, and he fell over. After he was on the floor, I ran like hell out of there. I ran for a minute, and my friends finally caught up with me and started laughing at what I did."

"Are all humans on your world violent?"

"Well, there are over 7 billion people in the world. Maybe a little under a quarter of that number of people are violent."

"And that would be roughly around,one billion seven hundred fifty million humans on your world that are violent." I looked at her, mouth agape.

"H-how did you do that?"

"I'm very smart. Go ahead ask me anything."

"OK, umm," I said as I was rubbing my chin. "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" She looked at me in the most dumbfounded face.

"I'm sorry, what?" I just started laughing at her.

"I win." After that, the three fillies walked out of the kitchen, still drying themselves off with towels. "Hey squirts. Did you girls have fun?" They all looked at me, like I was stupid. "Well, I guess it's my turn. You girls wait here." I grabbed my old clothes and headed for the kitchen door.

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna hang out with you girls, today." I walked into the kitchen and down the hall. I went into the bathroom and found a mess. I set my clothes on the counter. I decided to clean it up, so Twilight wouldn't yell at them. There was water everywhere. I grabbed the towel they all used to dry themselves off with and started cleaning. After I was done, I threw the towel in the corner and grabbed a new one from under the sink. I untied my shirt from my waist put it on the floor, along with my other clothes. I noticed something. The only time I ever take my shoes off is when I take a shower. I got in the shower and turned the hot water on. I grabbed the shampoo and started washing my hair. I stood under the shower head and let the warm water hit me. It was the most relaxing thing I have ever felt. I turned off the water and stepped onto the towel. I dried myself off and put my clothes and glasses back on. I fixed my hair back to the way it was. I grabbed my jeans and pulled out my MP4 and my money and put them in my other pair of jeans. I grabbed the rest of my clothes, and the towel, and brought them into the laundry room. I walked back into the living room and found the crusaders reading. "What are you girls reading?"

"A book about cutie marks." Sweetie Belle said as they shut the book. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." I grabbed Applebloom and put her on my head and picked up Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. We headed out the door and towards Ponyville. "Let's get something to eat. I'm starving."

"But, Justin, none of us have any money." At that, I shook my pocket, indicating that I got paid. "Wow! How did ya' get any money?"

"I work at the spa, now. And, apparently, my first day there was payday. Now, where should we-" I stopped myself and saw Applejack yelling at random ponies to come and buy apple products from her. I walked over there and stood in line. The pony in front of me, turned around and giggled at the site of us. I just lifted my hand, barely, and gave her a small wave. She paid for her apples and walked away. "Hi, Applejack." She heard me and looked at me and snickered a bit.

"Ah' see that ya' have your hooves full." She said, still holding back her laugh.

"Well, I'm trying to make myself seem friendly here, in case anyone still sees me as a threat."

"Yeah, and we're here to help." Scootaloo said.

"Is there anythin' I can get y'all?" I looked around and saw an apple pie that was thirty bits.

"Can I have that apple pie?" I asked as I put Scootaloo on the counter. I started pulling out random bits, and set four brown bits on her stand's counter.

"It only costs thirty bits."

"I know. That's a tip for the friendly service."

"Thank ya', sugarcube. Here's your pie." Sweetie grabbed it and I grabbed Scootaloo. We walked over to an outside table, from a random restaurant. Sweetie set the pie on the table and I put the girls in different seats. I raised my hand, snapped my fingers, trying to get a waitress.

"And what would you like, miss?"

"It's sir. Can we get a knife, four plates, and a fork?"

"Sorry about that, sir. And yes, I will be back, momentarily."

"Thank you." I looked at the girls and they were snickering at me. "What?"

"She called you 'miss'!" Scootaloo said, bursting out laughing. I just rolled my eyes. The waitress came and gave us our utensils and plates. I cut the pie into four equal slices and set them on plates. They all shoved their mouths into it and started gobbling it down. I ate mine, trying to keep up with them, so they don't get bored waiting on me. The pie was amazing. We all finished and they all had a big mess on their faces. I snapped my fingers calling over the waitress again.

"Can we get some napkins, please." She looked at the girls and giggled at the site. She walked away and came back in a minute. She placed the napkins on the table and walked away. I grabbed them and started wiping off the messes from their faces. I picked up the empty pie pan and threw it in the nearest garbage can. I walked over to the waitress and gave her two brown bits.

"What do you girls want to do, now?" I asked as I looked in the sky. The sun was a little above the horizon. Did I wake up at two, or something?

"Can you take us to our clubhouse?"

"Sure. Point the way, Scootaloo."

"That way!" She said pointing towards the woods. She kept her hoof in front of me, like a compass. The forest looked dark and damp. There was a lot of fog and the sun barely seeped through. We walked for about an hour and finally reached a small house, sitting in a tree.

"Is this it?" I asked. I got no answer. I looked at the girls and they were asleep. Perfect. I think Applejack's house is nearby. I faced the front of the clubhouse and turned completely around. I walked for another hour and when I got out of the forest, it was dark. I was in the apple orchard and kept walking forward. I finally reached her barn house and knocked on the door. A red stallion, the exact height as me, opened the door. "I'm guessing you're Big Macintosh, right? I'd shake your hoof, but I kind of have mine full." I said, jokingly.

"Eeyup. Do ya' mind telling me what happened?"

"Not at all. I had a day off from work today, and I decided to hang out with the fillies. We went to Twilight's, so I can change clothes. Then, we went to your families stand and I bought us an Apple pie, which was amazing. They wanted me to bring them to their clubhouse, and so I did. But once we got there, they fell asleep. Your house was the closest, so I brought them here. Do you mind if I stay the night here, as well?"

"I don't mind. Just bring the girls into Applebloom's room. Her's is the one on the far right." I nodded and walked inside. In front of me was a kitchen and to my right, was a living room. I walked upstairs and put them in Applebloom's bed. I walked back downstairs to talk to Big Macintosh.

"Hey, Big Mac. Why are there so few guys in Pony ville."

"What do ya' mean?"

"Well, the only males I've seen in the past three days were you, Doctor Whooves, Spike, and myself. Why is that?"

"Ah' never noticed. There are a lot of stallions in Canterlot. Mostly guards fer the princesses. Can Ah' ask ya' a question? Why are ya' here?"

"Here, as in, your house? Or here, as in, Equestria?"

"Here, as in, Equesria."

"It wasn't my decision to come here. I fell through a portal, made by Pinkie. I can't go back, because the Portal Gun got destroyed by Rainbow Dash. Not to be rude, or anything, but I'm getting kind of tired and it's late. Where do I sleep?"

"Ya' can take Granny Smith's room. She's in Appleoosa with our other relatives. Her room is on the other side of Applebloom's room." I walked upstairs and opened the door to her room. The bed was a queen size, for ponies. I moved the blanket and got in the bed. I fell asleep, almost immediately.

Chapter 7

The sun began to rise brightly over Ponyville, starting a new day. The sun's rays seeped through Big Macintosh's window, and shone down on his eyes. He awoke and lazily sat up. He stretched out his front legs and hopped out of his bed. He opened the door and walked into the kitchen and started on breakfast. He was cooking fried hay. He looked at the clock that was telling him it was five o' clock in the morning. He finished cooking ten minutes later and set up six plates. He walked back upstairs to Applejack's bedroom to wake her up. She got up and tied her mane and tail back to the way they were. She grabbed her hat and went downstairs into the kitchen. He then walked over to Applebloom's room to wake up the three fillies. They fought a little, until he told them he was making fried hay for breakfast. They got out of bed and ran to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He walks into Granny Smith's room to wake up Justin.

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"Justin, it's time to get up." I groggily lifted my eyelids and saw Big Macintosh standing next to my bed. I turned over and tried to go back to sleep. "C'mon Justin. Ah got breakfast ready and ya' got work today." I looked at the clock and saw that it said 5:35.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Big Mac,......... but fuck you. I'm sleeping in." I turned back over and closed my eyes. I heard hoof steps walk around the bed. He was now facing me and he turned around, completely. He lifted up one leg and kicked me in the stomach. I fell off the bed and was now in fetal position. I puked a little on the floor. I was rolling on the floor in pain. After about five minutes, I stood up and walked out of the room. I went into the bathroom and grabbed a rag and wet it. I went back into Granny Smith's room and cleaned it up. "Sorry about that."

"Y'all are sorry? Ah should be apologizin'. Ah didn't mean ta hit ya so hard. Ah'm sorry, Justin."

"It's okay. That's kind of how my parents get me out of bed. Except my dad pushes me off." I said as I finished cleaning up the vomit. "Where do I put this?"

"There's a round basket in tha bathroom." I walked into the bathroom and put it in the basket. I went back into Granny Smith's room and grabbed my glasses and my jacket. I walked down stairs and into the kitchen, where everyone was sitting down and eating already.

"What are we eating?"

"Fried hay! Come join us." Applebloom said.

"Nah, I'm not that hungry." My stomach growled.

"Yer stomach says otherwise. Why don't ya' want ta' eat?" Applejack asked.

"Because that's pony food, not human food. We're omnivores, but we don't eat hay." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a silver bit. "Here, thanks for letting me stay the night." I set the silver bit on their table and headed for the front door.

"Justin, we can't take this."

"You can. You just choose not to." After that, I walked out of Applejack's house and started my way towards Ponyville. The sun was a little above the apple trees. That's when I thought of something. It's still five o' clock, which means when I get to the spa, I'll have to wait some what two hours. And I haven't eaten, yet. I guess I can go visit Twilight. I was now entering Ponyville, after twenty or so minutes. I liked mornings like these. Only seeing a little bit of the sun, a dark blue sky, barely seeing the clouds above. I walked up to Twilight's house and saw lights on in the main room. I knocked on the door. Twilight answered it while holding a quill in her magic.

"Hey, Justin. Come in." I walked in and saw pieces of paper and lots of books spread out on the floor.

"Were you up all night?" She walked back to her spot and laid down and wrote more notes. She looked at me and nodded. "Well, do you mind if I get something to eat? I stayed the night at Applejack's house, and Big Mac cooked fried hay. I can't eat that." She nodded again, not taking her eyes off of the book. I walked into her kitchen and opened the pantry. I looked around and found some cereal. Hmmmm. Fruit Loops. Yum. I walked over to the cabinets and grabbed a bowl. I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk. I poured the cereal and then the milk. I grabbed a spoon and put it in the bowl. I sat at the table and began eating. Once I got done eating, I set the bowl in the sink and ran water into it. I walked out of the kitchen and Twilight was still up. I walked over to the front door to leave, until Twilight spoke up.

"Justin. Can you come back here when you're off work, please. We're having guests over."

"Sure. Who is it-?" I turned around and she was instantly asleep. I laughed a little at the site. I walked over to her and picked her up. She weighed about twenty-five to thirty-five pounds. I struggled a bit to get up the stairs, but when I did, I put her in the bed and tucked her in. I did it all quietly as to not wake up Spike. I made my way back downstairs and started cleaning up the scattered books and notes. I set them all in a big stack. After I was done, I exited her home. I started my way towards the spa, hoping for no distractions. After about ten or so minutes, I reached the spa. It was still closed. I looked inside and the clock said 7:30. Well, that's not too bad. Only have to wait thirty minutes. I sat down in my original spot where I first waited. A little while later, Aloe and Lotus came into view. I waved happily at them. They smiled and trotted up to the door "Hey girls. Did you both get a good night sleep?"

"Yes, thank you. And I also finished your requested poster." She pulled it out of her saddlebag and presented it to me. She drew two hands and it said 'New Human Services'.

"That's pretty cool. Thanks, Lotus." She smiled at me. She removed her old poster from the window sill and put the new one up. I walked all the way into the back to get to my room. I sat in the chair and waited. About three boring hours later, my first customer was Fluttershy. "Good morning, Fluttershy."

"Good morning. How's working here at the spa?"

"Sometimes boring. But it's a pretty lazy job, so I like it. How are the animals doing."

"They're doing great."

"What did you order?"

"An hour." At least an hour will make this work day go by faster. She walked over to the table and laid down. I cracked my knuckles to loosen up my fingers and hands. I think it unsettled her a little after each pop. I walked over to her and started rubbing on her back to feel the tense muscle. She wasn't even that tense. It felt like she wasn't at all. I started rubbing her hind legs and they were a bit tense. Then I looked at her wings.

"Do you want me to massage your wings, also?" She didn't answer. I walked in front of her and she had her front hooves under her head and she was asleep. Either I'm really good. Or really boring. Well I don't want to disturb her. Ugh. What do? I looked around and found my chair. I picked her up and set her in the chair. She was still asleep and snored softly a bit. I sat on the floor near the chair and waited for the next customer.

I sat there waiting for awhile for my next customer, until the door opened up revealing Aloe. "Why is it taking so long for Fluttershy's massage." She looked at me, with a look of sterness and concern. I pointed at the chair and she eased a little. Why was she mad? It's not like I was gonna kill her. How could I? She's too adorable for me to be able to do that. "Do you want your next customer?"

"Sure send 'em in." She motioned for the next customer to come in. It was the same purple coated pony from the party. "Hello. My name is-"

"Justin. From the party. That was a blast, wasn't it?"

"It sure was. Too bad you passed out."

"Hehehe. By the way, my name is Berry Punch. Sorry I didn't get to meet you at the party. I was just a little scared."

"It's okay. You just gotta get used to the fact that a new species, you've never seen before, is now living in your town."

"You're probably right. Why is Fluttershy asleep in your chair."

"I massaged her very well, and she just fell asleep."

"Don't worry. I won't." She walked over to the table and laid down. "I ordered an hour, please." I walked over to the table and started rubbing her back. She was tense everywhere. I rubbed her shoulders, her hind legs and her neck. What do you do? Are you Ponyville's town drunk.

"Alright, you're all done." I got no response. I walked in front of her and found her sleeping, as well. Aww c'mon! I looked around trying to figure out where to put her. I got an idea. I took off my jacket and laid it flat on the floor, next to my chair. I set her on it and she snored, almost simultaneously with Fluttershy. I sat back down on the floor waiting for my next customer.

This went on for the whole day. I get a new pony customer, she falls asleep, and I place them somewhere in the room. I now have six ponies on the floor, asleep. I walked over to Fluttershy and woke her up first. "Hey, yo, Fluttershy. Wake up." She woke up slowly with a big yawn.

"Has it been an hour already?" She said, tiredly.

"Yep. Plus seven hours." Her eyes shot open, and she flew straight up, in shock. She looked around the room and saw all the ponies asleep.

"D-did I fall asleep?" I nodded. "Oh, Justin. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to. I stayed up most of the night trying to catch the chickens and put them back in their coop. And I didn't get enough sleep. And then I-"

"Fluttershy. It's okay. I'm not mad. Not at all. I'm very glad that I helped you relax enough to get some sleep."

"Well, thank you." She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out two gold coins. I took them out of her mouth and wiped it a little. I put them in my pocket and waved goodbye to Fluttershy. I woke up the rest of the ponies and some of them freaked out, because they had a whole day of chores to do. Those that did need to do chores, were mad at me for not waking them up. I explained to them why I didn't. Mainly because, I always hated being woken up from a nap. They each gave me a silver or a gold coin for the excellent, friendly service. I picked up my last jacket after the last pony had stopped yelling at me. I walked down the hall and out the double doors. I was now on my way to Twilight's house. I opened the door and found Twilight and two other ponies sitting down with her. One was white and had both wings and a horn. The cutie mark was the sun and her hair was really long. The other pony was dark blue, and she also had both wings and a horn. Her cutie mark was a crescent sun and her hair was just as long as the other pony's.

"So. Who're your friends?" I asked.

"Justin, this is Princess Luna," she said as she pointed at the dark blue pony, "and this is Princess Celestia. Princesses, this is Justin." She then pointed at me. They both stood up and walked towards me. They were at least taller than me by one and a half human heads. Luna was a little shorter than her. Holy crap. I don't think I have ever been this scared in my life......... Is that pee? I thought as I looked down. I looked back up and they stood about two feet away from me. I knelt down on one knee and tilted my head downwards, showing my respect.

"Rise my new child." She said to me in a soft voice. I stood and stared up at her. "Thank you for showing us your respect."

"Well, it's not everyday you see royalty."

"Do you not have royalty where you come from?" Luna asked.

"I do. But not where I lived."

"Why not?" I just shrugged. I could never figure out the government and other worldly civilizations. They walked over to where they were sitting and sat back down. "Come over here. We want to talk to you, too." I complied and walked over and sat next to Twilight. I bet they could kill me with one strike, or some sort of magical spell. "So, Mr. Justin-"

"Call me Justin, please." I said, interrupting Princess Celestia.

"Justin. Was there anything you wanted to do when you grow up, back on your planet?"

"Only to be a doctor at an insane asylum. I never really did plan my future. I did have a plan just in case of a zombie apocalypse. But that's about it. It never happened, so now I think it was just a complete waste of time."

"My turn," Luna said. "If you had a choice to stay here or go back to your home planet, which would you choose?"

"Definitely here. Everypony here is so much nicer than the people back where I'm from. I hated a lot of people back on Earth. So far, I don't hate anypony here. Now it's my turn to ask a question." I started thinking about what to ask them. After a few minutes, I thought up of one. "How old are both of you?"

"I'm over one thousand years old and Luna is nine hundred ninety-five years old. Do you have any plans in the future here?"

"Well, I'm hoping to get enough money to buy a house for myself and stop mooching off of my friends. Plus, I do want to visit Canterlot and Cloudsdale. In fact, next week, we're all going to Canterlot to see one of Octavia's shows."

"Ooh, ooh, Tia. Since they're coming up here for the show, why don't we let them stay in the castle for the week. From this Sunday to the next." She said. When she got done, she sat on her haunches and started clapping her front hooves together at her idea.

"That is a great idea, Luna. Twilight, invite all of your friends to Canterlot this weekend."

"Will do, Princess." Awesome! A sleep over in a castle. Maybe I should ask Rarity to make me a tuxedo. I've always wanted one. The Princesses stood up and looked down at me.

"It was nice meeting you, Justin. But we have royal duties to attend. We will see you Sunday. Goodbye."

"Bye." I said waving. They just stood there, standing straight up and looking straight forward. After a second, Princess Celestia's horn started glowing. And in a bright flash, they teleported out of the room. "Alright! Goodnight, Twilight!" I yelled as I took my jacket off and rolled it up. I laid down in the exact same spot and Twilight put the same blanket over me. I looked over my shoulder and she went back to studying. She only had a small lamp on, instead of the main light. I closed my eyes and started going to sleep.

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Author's note: I'm sorry this chapter took a long time. I was busy drawing some more and time escaped from me. Same with homework, but I only spend about ten minutes on that. Chapter 8 will be a little late, as well. Family matters going on this weekend and I'm going out of town to visit them. They don't have internet, so my weekend is basically ruined. Again, I am sorry for the lateness of this chapter. Once I'm done with my coloring on this drawing, it will be the new story's picture.

Chapter 8

I awoke, sitting up lazily. I lifted the blanket off of me and sat up. I stretched my arms out wide and they started popping. I picked up my jacket and put it on. I zipped it back up to where it usually is. I stood up and noticed that Twilight was on the floor, asleep. Hehehe. Silly filly. I grabbed the blanket and gently placed it on top of her. I walked into the kitchen and into the bathroom. I fixed up my hair how it usually is. I walked out the bathroom and back into the living room. I checked the time to see it say 7:35. Shit! I'm gonna be late! I opened the door, quietly, and ran down the streets of Ponyville. Lots of ponies noticed me and some of them tried to wave at me. I waved back, but continued to run. After a little while of running, I reached the spa and it was still closed. Thank.....Celestia....? I pondered on that thought as I sat down, against the wall. It had been about twenty minutes and still no sign of Aloe or Lotus. I saw two pony figures walking up to me, but they weren't either of the girls. One had a creamy coat and a curly mane. The other was the aqua colored unicorn. They walked up to me and the creamy coated pony talked to me.

"Excuse me, sir-" The aqua unicorn hit her in the shoulder, causing her to stop talking.

"I told you his name is Justin." She said to her, firmly.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Justin, do you mind giving me and my friend here the time?" I lifted up my arm and looked at my wrist.

"Sure it's half past I don't know o' clock." I said in my smart ass ways."

"Really!? You don't even have a watch and you know the time." She said as she grabbed my arm in her hooves. "Is that some kind of awesome human power or magic you have?"

"Uh, no. That's not even a real time. I was just being a smart alack. And could you please let go of my arm?" The cream pony grabbed the aqua unicorn by her tail and dragged her next to herself.

"Sorry about Lyra. She's been dying to see your arms. That's why we came up to you and asked you the time."

"That's okay. Here, Lyra." I held out my left arm and rolled up my jacket's sleeve. Her face lit up as she trotted to my arm and held it in her hooves. She started to inspect my hands.

"My name is Bon Bon. And if you don't mind me asking, why are you sitting outside of the spa?"

"Well, I woke up a little late this morning, so I ran down Ponyville to try and come here without being late. I made it here before it was time to open and I am now waiting for Aloe and Lotus to come and unlock the doors."

"Justin, you do know that they are closed for the day, right?"

"What?!" I screamed out, as I stood up, knocking Lyra down. I looked all around the doors and sure enough, there was a note on the door. I read it out loud for the girls to hear, as well. "To whom it may concern, we are closed for an unknown amount of time due to maintenance. Sorry for the inconvenience. Signed, Aloe and Lotus." I finished reading and banged my head softly on the door. I felt two hooves on my back. Bon Bon and Lyra were both patting me on the back.

"At least you can now go hang out with your friends." Lyra said.

"I guess you're right. I'm gonna go pay Rarity a visit. See you two later." I said to them as I made my way to Carousel Boutique. I waved to them and they waved back. She lives about ten minutes away from the spa. I walked up to the door and knocked. Sweetie Belle answered with a tired face. "Good morning, Sweetie." She looked up at me and yawned. Her hair was a little messed up and she was wearing a saddlebag.

"Oh, good morning, Justin. What brings you here?"

"I came here to fill out an order for Rarity. Is she awake?"

"Of course. She got me up and helped me get ready for school."

"Okay, have fun at school."

"That'll be hard." I stepped aside and let her walk past me. I walked inside and looked around for Rarity. I heard some noise coming from the kitchen. I made my way towards the kitchen and she was cooking herself some breakfast.

"Good morning, Rarity." She got startled and jumped a little.

"Darling, you scared me."

"Sorry. I came by to place an order. Since we're all going to Canterlot for the whole week, I thought I should at least get a tuxedo and look nice for Octavia's recital."

"That's a wonderful idea. You would look dashing in a tuxedo. When I'm done eating, we can talk about what you would look best in." When she finished talking, my stomach made the loudest growl. "Hehehe. Someone's famished."

"Yea, I didn't eat anything this morning, because I thought I was gonna be late for work," I said, as she walked over to her kitchen table, carrying her food in her magic aura. "I ran as fast as I could to the spa, and I made it there before opening hours. I sat down against the building, waiting for Aloe and Lotus to come. They didn't come, but Bon Bon and Lyra did. They made an excuse to talk to me, so that Lyra can take a look at my arms and hands. She told me about the note on the front door, that I some how missed seeing. I read it and got pretty upset, until I realized I have a day off. I came here, so I can place an order for a tuxedo. And all that time I have forgotten I haven't eaten."

"Well let me make you something to eat."

"You don't have to make me anything. I just need cereal and milk. If you can levitate both of those objects to me, that would be great." Without even looking, she levitated both the cereal out of her cabinet and the milk out of her fridge. She placed them on the counter. I started opening random cabinets for a bowl. I finally found one, and of course, it was gonna be in the last cabinet I look in. I started pouring the cereal in and then the milk. I carried the bowl and spoon and sat at the table. I started eating her cereal and watched as she started cleaning the dishes. "Is it hard taking care of Sweetie Belle?"

"It's sometimes a bit challenging. She does get muddy a lot and accidentally messes with things she's not suppose to. But, other than that, no."

"So, where's her father?"

"Our dad is in Manehattan with our mom."

"Oh~. I thought she was your daughter."

"What?!" She yelled, as she dropped a plate. "Why did you think that?!"

"Well, before you start getting yelly at me, you never said she was your little sister. I assumed she was your mother, because your both white-coated, have nice curly hair, and look adorable. Plus, she never said about you being her big sister. Sorry." I drank my milk, finishing my small rant.

"I could've sworn I told you she was my little sister."

"Then I must've forgotten. I got hit in the head hard as a child. When I was little, my dad and I rode on a four-wheeler up a hill. He had to gas then brake, and one time when he gas then braked, I smashed my head on the front of the four-wheeler's handle holder. It hurt horribly. So now, I have a small bit of a brain problem." I set the bowl in her sink and sat back down.

"Not to be rude, or anything, but I have no idea what any of those items are."

"Yeah, I kinda realized that after I told the story."

"Are you ready for me to start measuring you for your tuxedo?"

"Yes. I've always wanted a tuxedo. Can I have a neck tie, please."

"It's your tuxedo design. What colors do you want?"

"Black for the jacket and pants and white for the dress shirt and a red neck tie and a top hat. I really want a top hat."

"Alright, your total is 450 bits." I reached into my bit filled pocket and handed her four gold bits and one silver bit. "Wow. You've been saving your bits, haven't you?"

"I never had the need to buy anything, yet. Except for a pie and giving Applejack a silver bit. That's about it."

"Great, now get on the podium and I shall measure you again."

"Kay." I walked over to her podium again, and she started measuring me. She kept squeezing the measuring tapes all around my body and it felt like snakes. She wrapped them around my arms, legs, neck, back, waist, stomach, skull, everywhere. She had been measuring me for about an hour or two. I couldn't tell, because she angled me away from the clock. A few minutes later, the other five girls walked into the boutique. "Hi, girls." I said as I waved.

"Hold still!" She yelled at me. I went stiff as a board.

"What are ya' doin', Rarity?"

"I asked Rarity to make me a tuxedo for when we go up to Canterlot, and see Octavia at her recital."

"Oh, okay. We were gonna go ta' Zecora's for some herbs for when we go up there, in case something bad happens."

"Can I come?"

"Sure. She'd be happy ta' meet ya'." After about another thirty minutes or so, Rarity finally got done measuring me.

"Ahh. Finally." I walked over to her lobby couch and laid down, relaxing.

"Okay, come on. We have ta' go ta' Zecora's, now." I made a little whine, because I had to get back up. We walked down the streets of Ponyville towards the entrance of a forest. Fluttershy quivered a bit and hid behind Pinkie. "Welcome ta' the Everfree Forest"

"What a lovely place." I said, sarcastically.

"Hey, Justin. Wanna race to Zecora's hut? It's just a straight run."

"Sure. I love running." We readied ourselves at the entrance of the forest. "Three. Two. One. GO!" She took off faster than anything I've ever seen. I ran as quickly as I could, but could not catch up to her. I couldn't even see her. I ran for about five minutes, and out of nowhere, a tree branch comes out of nowhere and knocks me on my back. The pain in my head hurt so bad, I passed out.

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"Oh my gosh,oh my gosh,oh my gosh!" Cried Rainbow Dash, as she looked at the unconscious Justin. She flew back towards her friends to tell them what happened. She had finally reached them, panting. "Girls! I accidentally hit Justin with a branch and knocked out! Come on!" The six ponies ran towards Justin's body to investigate. Once they got there, Twilight levitated Justin's body off the ground and ran to Zecora's hut along with Applejack and Fluttershy. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie stayed behind and looked at the are where Justin landed on top of. "Uh oh," the three said in unison. They ran towards Twilight, trying to catch up. Twilight busted through Zecora's door. She got startled and jumped and yelped a little.

"Twilight, why did bust open my door, and cause an uproar?"

"Sorry, Zecora. Our friend is really hurt and needs help."

"Put him on the bed, and let me examine his forehead." Twilight levitated Justin to Zecora's bed and set him down. The other three girls had finally caught up and ran towards the bed.

"What took you girls so long?" Twilight asked.

"Um. Sugarcube. Justin fell down onto a patch of Poison Joke." Applejack said, not answering Twilight's question.

"What do you think will happen to him?" Fluttershy asked a little worried.

"We'll just have to wait and see."

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Author's note: For how long this took and how long it is............................I regret nothing................NOTHING!!

Chapter 9

"How are we gonna tell Justin that he's been turned into a pony?" Twilight asked.

"I will. Since I'm the one that caused him to land into the Poison Joke." Rainbow Dash told Twilight.

"I hope the poor thing takes the news okay," Rarity said. "I got done with his tuxedo."

"He looks a lot different than what he did when he was human." Pinkie said, inspecting the pony Justin.

"It just makes me wonder why he turned into a pony, and not anythin' else." Applejack thought. Fluttershy kept quiet, looking at Justin. He started to wake up.

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My head was pounding and my body felt weird. I open my eyes and see the girls all around me. My vision was a little blurry, but I could tell it was them. "What's up?"

"Justin,How many fingers am I holding up?" Rainbow Dash asked, holding up her hoof.

"Trick question. You're a pony. You don't have fingers."

"Alright good. Now, tell me, how many fingers do you have?"

"Ten. Why do you as-?" I lifted up what used to be my arm and looked at the end of it. I had purple hooves. My whole body was a pony. "What happened to me? Did you do this as a prank, Twilight?"

"No, I would never use magic as a prank. It was this magical plant called Poison Joke. It takes what your best at doing and changes it up. I'm good at magic, so it made my horn unusable. Why it turned you into a pony is beyond me."

"Well, I'm only good at two things. Internet, and being a human. It can't change me into the internet, so it turned me into a pony. But, hey, that's just my theory. So what do I look like?" Twilight levitated a mirror in front of me as I sat up. I looked in it and I was still wearing my clothes. At least my clothes didn't faze into my body. I took my clothes off and looked into the mirror. I have a purple coat and green mane. "Aw man. I'm a pegasus. I wanted to be a unicorn." I said a little disappointed. I stood up as best as I could and turned to my side to see if I had a cutie mark. It was an 8-bit toaster and a smiling piece of toast coming out of the toaster. And on the toaster were the letters F and J. "Okay. That's awesome."

"None of us were able to figure out what it means."

"It stands for Funny Junk. It's a website I go to on the internet." The girls all looked at me in confusion. "I can't believe I've been asleep for about an hour or two. It feels like it's been three days."

"It has! It's Friday!" Pinkie said.

"Oh great. I missed three days of work. Aloe and Lotus are gonna be pissed~."

"Actually, I think the Spa is still closed down for maintenance." Rarity told me.

"Okay, good. So, how do I turn back into a human?"

"With this herbal potion I brewed, you shall be able to turn back to the old you."

"Alright, cool. Just poor it on me and I can be human again."

"Uh, Justin. You need to be in a big tub filled with hot water for it to work. And the only big tub in Ponyville is in the Spa." Twilight informed me.

"Well isn't that just fan-freaking-tastic. I have to stay a pony for awhile." I said glumly.

"In Canterlot, the Princess has a big tub you could borrow. You just have to be a pony until Sunday." Twilight said, trying to make me feel better.

"Alright, what are we waiting for? Let's go~!" I said, over enthusiastically. I barely lifted my front hoof and fell down to the floor. My hind legs were still standing and I just laid on the floor. All the girls started giggling at me. "Ow. My pride."

"Hahaha! I'm sorry, Justin. It's just so funny seeing a grown pony fall down on his first step." Rainbow Dash said, rolling on the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go." I told them in an angry tone. I was too lazy to learn how to walk on all fours, so I started moving my two hind legs and rubbed half my body on the ground.

"Hey, that's how Sweetie Belle walks when she's bored." Rarity pointed out.

"I'm sure it's freaking adorable, but I don't want anyone else to know that I'm a pony." I used what little strength I had to push open the door to the outside.

"I got your clothes for you, Justin."

"Thanks, Twilight." I pushed my glasses a little bit higher onto my face. They're so small and I can barely see out of them. All the girls followed me out the door and we started walking, flying, or crawling our way to Ponyville. After about twenty minutes of moving down the Everfree Forest trail, Rainbow Dash breaks the silence.

"Hey, Justin. Do you mind opening your wings. I wanna see how big the Poison Joke made them."

"Okay. How do?"

"Just pretend they're like a second pair of arms. You should be able to feel them now."

"Alright." I concentrated on my wings. I slowly started to acknowledge their existence. I was now slowly opening them. They felt weird at first, because it did feel like I had another set of arms. They kept opening and opening until I couldn't rise them up anymore.

"Mmmm. They look nice." Rainbow Dash said in a sensual sort of way.

"Th-they're big." Fluttershy said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew towards me and start touching my wings. It felt weird and tingly.

"What's wrong with them?" Twilight walked over to me and started whispering into my ear.

"To pegasi, the bigger your wings are, the sexier you are." At that, I slammed my wings shut.

"Aww c'mon. Show off your wings." Rainbow Dash whined.

"How 'bout no." I said to her, and continued my way down the trail. I didn't care if the girls were following or not. I wanted this day to end. I heard hoof steps after a minute later.

"So, Justin, mind tellin' us about this 'internet' you have on your world?"

"Sure, AJ. The internet is a glorious place, if you know how to use it and how it works. There are over five million websites on the internet. Websites are places on the internet. And the owner, the Admin, has to keep up with his or her website, make sure there are no viruses, no trolls, and if it needs updating. For example: the website FunnyJunk started in the year 2001. It was a site for hilarity and immaturity. In the beginning, only the Admin could post pictures and videos. After a few years, I don't know when, he started letting other people post on his site. People were posting porn on there, so he had to make a separate link on the site, or else it would get shut down. He called the separate link NSFW, which means Not Safe For Work. So, if people wanted to post porn on the site, they'd have to got to the NSFW section to do so. And if they post it out of the NSFW section, then they get banned. The first time I went on there was the year 2005. I didn't get any of the jokes, so I stopped going. In the year 2011, I started going back. Also, there are rules on the inter-"

"Okay, Justin. That's enough information for one night." Twilight said, interrupting me. We were all still in the Everfree Forest and we started to pass by where I got knocked out. I started staring at the Poison Joke. I hate you so much.. After a few more minutes we arrived at Ponyville. It was night time and we were almost at Twilight's tree house. "Okay everypony, it's time for us to say our goodbyes."

"Goodnight." All, but Rainbow Dash, said in unison.

"See you tomorrow, big boy." She said as she walk by me and slapped my bottom with her wing. I made a small whine at the whole thing. I crawled my way into the library, where Spike was on a ladder putting up books.

"Welcome back, Twilight. Who's your new friend?"

"Spike, this is Justin. The Poison Joke apparently turned him into a pony." Spike looked at me weirdly, then busted out laughing. I crawled over to the ladder he was standing on and kicked it with my back hoof as hard as I could. The ladder fell, but to my luck, on top of me. Spike fell and slammed his back on the floor.

"I hate my life.........so much." I said, in pain. Twilight shook her head and levitated the ladder off of me. "Thanks." Spike got up, holding his back, and walked upstairs slowly. "I hope I didn't hurt him that bad."

"He'll be fine. He just had a long day."

"Same here."

"Now that you're all better, go take a shower."

"Nope! On the floor! Too lazy! Goodnight!" I yelled randomly as I crawled towards my sleeping spot. I kept my back away from Twilight and fell asleep.

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Author's note: Is it just me or are my chapters getting shorter. I really need to make them a lot longer. I do have a great idea for the beginning of Chapter 10. I hope you all liked the sex-crazed Rainbow Dash, because Justin sure as hell didn't.