JAWS & FINS

by Octavia_Melody

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Mayor Mare, Spike, Rarity, Adventure, Crossover, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 12391

A killer shark invades the peaceful ponies of Sunset Shores. But what else is lurking in the water?

A killer shark invades the peaceful ponies of Sunset Shores. But what else is lurking in the water?

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Fimfic, the original Jaws is back...sorta...

Published 2014-02-05 03:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-14 04:51:43 UTC

Vinyl's Last Swim

The white, blue-maned unicorn disc jockey Vinyl Scratch and the grey, black-maned earth pony cellist Octavia Melody lived together in a beach house on the sands of Sunset Shores. Late in the evening, on a dark, cloudless summer night, Octavia was inside, practicing her cello, when she noticed Vinyl trotting toward the door.

“Where are you going, Vinyl?” Octavia asked while strumming a smooth jazzy tune with her bow.

“Goin’ for a little late night swim.” Vinyl answered, “Wanna come with?”

“No, thank you.” Tavi replied, “A tad late for a swim, ya think?”

“Na, Tavi, its cool.” Vinyl said, “C’mon it’s the summer.”

“I’ll follow you out there, but I’m not stepping hoof in that water.” Octavia said, “I need to practice.”

“C’mon, you’ve been playin’ that thing all day.” Vinyl argued.

“My band is playing for the summer festival next week and I need to be in tip-top shape.” Octavia said.

“Whateves.” Vinyl said, “You know I’ll be DJ-ing the night crowd.”

“As always.” Tavi said with a smirk.

Vinyl opened the sliding glass door and trotted down the wooden deck stairs to the beach. Octavia strapped her cello onto her back and trotted behind her, closing the door.

“I’m gonna crank this beach all the way up to eleven!” Vinyl shouted galloping toward the water.

Vinyl was already hoof-paddling before Tavi had set up her cello again. The moon beamed brightly down on the water, giving it a serene glow. Octavia stood her cello up in the sand and started to run her bow across the strings. She began with the same casual jazz she played earlier, but then decided to change things up a bit. She played two very deep notes, slowly and repeatedly, resulting in a rather discordant melody.

Vinyl could barely hear her roommate’s music over the sound of the crashing waves. She started to backstroke, going a little deeper out to sea, and just for a moment felt something brush her two back legs. Vinyl looked around for a moment and soon dismissed it.

Back on shore, Octavia’s tune gradually picked up speed and Vinyl felt something heavy bump her forward. She wondered if she had swam toward a large rock, but then was pushed a little more roughly, and decided to swim back to shore.

“Hey Tavi! Wait up! I’m coming back!” Vinyl called out, “There’s something weird out here!”

Octavia couldn’t hear Vinyl over the sound of her own playing, and Vinyl herself only caught a glimpse of what looked to be an old fashioned clipper ship sailing towards her, in the distance.”

“Is that a pirate ship?” Vinyl asked herself before she was dragged underwater.

The unicorn DJ thrashed about, sputtering and screaming, as she felt a sharp, excruciating pain all around her body. The water beneath her turned a cloudy red and Vinyl’s eyes widened in fear.

“Tavi! TAVI!! Help!!” Vinyl screamed, “HELP ME!!”

Vinyl’s screaming brought Octavia out of her musical trance. Tavi threw her bow and cello on the ground and galloped toward the water.

“Vinyl!!” she called out, “Hang on!! VINYL!!”

Vinyl gave a muffled shriek as she was jerked underwater. A large crimson puddle spread as Tavi desperately galloped toward it. Octavia bucked and kicked in the bloody water, frantically hoping for signs of Vinyl Scratch.

“Vinyl Scratch!!” Octavia screamed in agony, “VINYL!!”

Octavia broke down in tears when she had realized what had happened. She didn’t even notice the apparent pirate ship, sailing across the horizon, as she dejectedly went back inside to call the police.

Tavi could barely maintain her composure as she attempted to talk to the emergency dispatcher over the phone, only managing to sputter that her friend had been killed by a shark, and give her address.

Two officers arrived at the beach house in about fifteen minutes. A lavender unicorn with a purple mane and a mint green unicorn with a white streak through her mane knocked on her door, both wearing dark blue police uniforms. Octavia slid the door open and they stepped inside.

“Good evening.” the lavender one announced in a friendly voice, “I’m Chief of Police Twilight Sparkle, and this is Deputy Lyra Heartstrings. We received a call about a shark attack.”

“I can’t believe it…” Tavi sobbed, “I can’t believe she’s dead…just like that…in an instant…gone…”

“Excuse me, miss.” Twilight asked, “Would you tell me where she was attacked?”

“Right outside…” Tavi said, “She wasn’t even that far from shore. I heard her screaming, I tried to help her, but…”

Octavia broke down in tears and Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder.

“I understand this is difficult, miss…” Twilight consoled, “Hey, Lyra. Why don’t you go down there and check things out.”

Lyra nodded and went outside, trotting down the deck stairs and onto the sand. She had just reached the water before her skin went pale and she levitated her whistle out in front of her. Lyra blew the police whistle as loudly as she could and Twilight rushed out to meet her.

The two unicorn officers stared in disbelief at Vinyl Scratch’s mutilated corpse, washed up on shore. She had been completely ripped apart, beyond recognition. Most of her had been eaten, what was left was a gruesome pile of leftover bones, and large chunks of organs and skin, including four hooves.

Twilight heard footsteps behind her and turned around to see Octavia slowly walking down the stairs.

“Don’t come down here!” Twilight shouted, “Just stay inside!”

“I have to see her…” Octavia resolved, “I have to see…”

Tavi ignored Twilight’s warning and gasped at the sight of Vinyl’s remains. She placed her hoof over her mouth, trying not to throw up, but soon regurgitated all over the sand.

“Lyra, would you please take her back inside?” Twilight whispered harshly, “I have to call this in.”

Lyra put her hoof on Octavia, who continued to throw up. Lyra shot a concerned look at Twilight who shook her head in frustration.

“Is there anypony you can stay with, tonight?” Lyra asked Tavi, “Is there anything we can get you?”

“I don’t…I don’t have any family here.” Octavia said, wiping her mouth, “They all live across the pond. I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“Why don’t you stay at my place, tonight?” Lyra suggested, “I think Bon Bon’s gone for the weekend. Bon Bon, she’s…”

Lyra shut her mouth before she uttered the word “roommate” but Tavi understood her anyway.

“I’d like that…if you don’t mind…” Octavia muttered, unable to give a smile.

“Yes, that’s right. I want these beaches shut down now.” Twilight said into her walkie-talkie, “No swimming, by order of the Sunset Shores P.D….What do you mean you don’t have any signs?....You never closed the beaches before….That’s absurd!...You oughta come over and take a look at this poor…”

Lyra jabbed Twilight with her hoof and shook her head sternly. Twilight cleared her throat and whispered the rest of her orders.

“Listen...” she said softly, “I need the coroner, clean-up crew, barricades, anypony you can send down here. We’ve got a hay of a mess on our hooves.”

Lyra took Octavia back inside to help get her things. Twilight waited impatiently for backup as she tried not to look at the victim’s remains. The coroner eventually arrived pulling an enclosed wooden carriage, along with three officer ponies. What was left of Vinyl was examined, photographed, and wrapped in a black corpse bag.

Twilight gave marching orders to the other officers as Octavia followed Lyra home. Twilight thought about what she was going to tell Spike, if anything. Nopony would be sleeping well that night.

Author's Note

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Vinyl, she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Boat Propeller

Twilight gave marching orders to the other officers as Octavia followed Lyra home. Twilight thought about what she was going to tell Spike, if anything. Nopony would be sleeping well that night.

The following day, Chief Sparkle was sitting at her desk in the police office, using her horn to telekinetically type up the coroner’s report on her typewriter. The coroner’s form had a space marked “Probable Cause of Death”. The glowing letters typed: “S-H-A-R-K A-T-T”. Before Twilight could type the next “A”, her door opened an in stepped the coroner, an elderly grey colt with a balding black mane and glasses.

“Chief Sparkle…” the coroner said in an aged voice, “Mayor Mare…is here to see you.”

A tan mare with a gray mane who also wore glasses, trotted in beside the coroner. Twilight stood up from her desk and held her hoof out to the mayor.
“Mayor Mare.” she said.

“Chief Sparkle.” the mayor replied, shaking Twilight’s hoof.

“Dr. Mort tells me that you were on the scene of a shark attack last night.” Mayor Mare said, “Is that correct?”

“Lyra and I saw the aftermath…” Twilight lamented, “It wasn’t pretty…what happened to that poor mare…”

“But none of you actually saw the shark.” the mayor argued.

“No, but what else could it be?” Twilight questioned.

“A boat propeller…” the coroner suggested.

“That’s not what you told me last night.” Twilight recalled.

“I was wrong.” the coroner said.

“Listen, a young mare has one too many drinks, goes out swimming a little too far; a passing motorboat doesn’t see her…” Mayor Mare pondered.

“A boat propeller?” Twilight scoffed, “And you’ll stand by that?”

“I’ll stand by it.” the coroner said.

“Sunset Shores is a summer town.” Mayor Mare explained, “We need summer dollars. If tourists can’t vacation here, then they’ll be just as happy to spend money in Canterlot or Las Pegasus. You start yelling ‘boating accident’ everybody goes ‘huh, what?’ If you yell ‘shark’, then we have a panic on our hands in the middle of summer festival.”
“So you’re not going to close the beaches?” Twilight inquired.

“We can’t afford to.” Mayor Mare said, “Those beaches are staying open.”

The coroner and the mayor trotted and shut the door behind them. Twilight’s horn glowed red as she angrily levitated the coroner’s report from the typewriter, crumpled the paper, and floated it into the waste bin beside her desk.

After a day’s work of calling the town’s parents and warning them not to let their little fillies and foals karate chop their neighbor’s fences, Twilight went home to her own house by the shore, where her husband Spike and their two dracorn children awaited her.
Spike was a purple baby dragon with green scales, but old enough to marry in comparison with a pony’s lifespan. Spike and Twilight had somehow found a way to reproduce, and thus had two little dracorn children, lavender unicorns with green scales instead of manes, who could also breath fire. Their names were Rose and Thorn, sister and brother, who would probably outlive their mother, but not their father.

Spike was busy cooking gem stew on the stove, while also trying to keep his children from burning down the house. Rose and Thorn were fighting over Twilight’s old rag doll Smartypants.

“It’s mine!” Rose shouted.

“No, it’s mine!” Thorn argued.

The two dracorns tugged and pulled on it until Twilight stepped between them.

“It’s mine.” Twilight corrected, levitating it away from them and into her arms.

“You’re letting them play with Smartypants?!” Twilight fumed at Spike, “How could you?! She’s a keepsake?! She belonged to my grandmother!!”
“Twilight, calm down!” Spike said, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

Before Twilight could say any more, Thorn punched Rose with his hoof, and Rose breathed a little breath of green flame on him in return.

“Ow! She singed me!” Thorn cried, bursting into tears.

“You hit me first!” Rose argued.

“Go to your room right now before I tan both your flanks!!” Twilight shouted, “NOW!!”

Both dracorns gave their mother a frightened look and scurried off to their room down the hallway.

“Is there something you want to talk about?” Spike asked, “You seemed awful upset last night, but you wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“I need a drink, Spike.” Twilight said, “It’s been a long day.”

Spike turned the stove off and retrieved two wine glasses from the cabinet, as well as a green bottle full of Dragon’s Scale. Spike put the glasses on the dining table as Twilight uncorked the bottle with her horn and made the bottle pour itself two glasses of the purple mixture.

Twilight quickly downed her glass as Spike sipped on his. He looked at his wife with concern.

“There was a shark attack last night, not too far away from here.” Twilight explained, “Lyra and I went to check it out. The victim was…a young unicorn…she was…torn to pieces. There was…barely anything left of her.”
Twilight tried to hold back her tears as she poured another glass.

“I’ve seen dead bodies before…murders back in Manehattan.” she continued, “But nothing like this. Nopony deserves that. And that Celestia-damned mayor of ours has the nerve to tell me it was a boat propeller! I don’t care what that half-flanked coroner says, even I have enough sense to know it was a shark attack!”

Twilight’s horn glowed an angry red again and her glass shattered, spilling wine all over the tablecloth.

Spike started to get up to look for the dustpan when Twilight put a hoof on his shoulder.

“I’ll clean it up, Spike.” Twilight said, “It’s my fault.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Spike answered, trying to lighten the mood.

The dustpan floated out of the closet and began sweeping the shattered glass. Twilight floated the dustpan to the garbage can and dumped the broken glass. She then walked up to Spike and kissed him as passionately as anypony had ever kissed a dragon.
“You wanna fool around tonight?” Twilight suggested.

“Of course, but what about the kids?” Spike asked, “Are they still going to the beach tomorrow?”

“The beach!” Twilight recalled, “I forgot! I don’t know…I really don’t want them in the water after what happened…but I don’t wanna have to explain it to them…I guess we can still check it out…”

“Don’t ever change, Twilight.” Spike said, giving her a hug.

Twilight returned Spike’s embrace and they both made off to their bedroom to make more dracorns, but hopefully not really.

Beached

Twilight returned Spike’s embrace and they both made off to their bedroom to make more dracorns, but hopefully not really.
The Sparkle household did end up going to the beach, as Twilight didn’t want to disappoint Rose and Thorn, as she also wanted them to fight outside instead of in the house. She also let them play in the water, with great reluctance, but there was a rather large crowd, and nopony else’s children seemed to be in any danger.

Spike was lying out on a towel, wearing sunglasses, tanning his scales. Twilight was sitting under an umbrella, halfway reading a book about new spells she could try, but also halfway reading a book about sharks. Her morbid curiosity was almost as undeniable as her general curiosity.

Rose and Thorn were passing each other a beach ball with their foreheads, a bit of a distance away from the other children. Not everypony approved of the unions of dragons and ponies, and thus not everypony’s children approved of ‘scale-flank’ children.

“Hey, scale-flanks!” called out a pink filly with a purple mane and a diamond tiara on her head, “Try not to burn the ball!”

“Shut the buck up!” Rose shouted back in language that neither her mother nor father approved of.

“You swore!” Diamond Tiara snarked, “I’m telling your Mom!”

“No, don’t!!” Rose panicked as Diamond ran up to Twilight.

“Ms. Sparkle! Ms. Sparkle!” Diamond shouted, “Rose said a bad word!”

“You’re in trouble now, dragon breath!” snarked a grey filly with a silver mane and blue glasses.

“How’s this for dragon breath!” Thorn replied, breathing a little green flame on Silver Spoon.

“Ahhh!” the grey filly screamed, quickly rubbing her flank in the sand, “He’s burning me!”

“Hey, freaks!” Diamond Tiara said to the dracorns, “You’re in trouble now!”

Before Rose and Thorn had time to argue, Twilight was tugging both their children by their scaly ears.

“I raised you better than to use swear words, young filly!” Twilight said, “Why don’t I wash both your mouths out with soap?”

“But Mom!” Thorn argued, “It was Rose who said it! And you say bad words all the time!”

Twilight’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment at her son’s logic but she still frowned on him.

“That’s no excuse for you two to use them.” she countered, “And besides, it’s not safe to go in the water.”

“But Diamond called us ‘scale-flanks’ and ‘freaks’!” Rose argued.

“She did, did she?” Twilight pondered, weighing the options between teaching her children to love their enemies, or pursue vengeance.

“I’m sure your father wouldn’t approve.” was the best she could say at the moment.

Diamond Tiara had had her fun with the dracorns and decided to go out to sea on her inflatable chair. She put her sunglasses on, grabbed the chair from where her parents were sitting, and snuck a zap apple soda from the cooler when her parents weren’t looking.

“Wait just a minute, young filly!” a stern-looking brown colt with dollar signs on his flank announced.

“But, Dad!” Diamond argued, “They were calling me names-.”

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Filthy Rich, Diamond’s father, inquired.

“Huh?” Diamond said, “Oh, sunscreen, right. Sure.”

The pink filly ran out into the water before Filthy could get in another word.

Diamond popped open the tab on her zap apple soda and put in a bendy straw. She sipped on the soda and placed it in the floating armchair’s cupholder. She almost fell asleep but was awakened by the sounds of a frantic pink pony.

Pinkie Pie, a bright pink pony the same age as Twilight, was worriedly pacing through the water and yelling.

“Gummy!” she called out, “Gummy, where are you?!”

Gummy was the name of Pinkie’s toothless baby alligator, who loved to swim in the water, and was now nowhere to be found.

“Gummy, come back!!” Pinkie shouted.

Pinkie’s fluffy mane deflated into straight hair when she realized that Gummy had disappeared. She did not notice the small cloud of blood floating near Diamond Tiara’s chair.

The spoiled young filly barely noticed until it was too late the sharp pain in her side. A few ponies in the crowd noticed the tip of a fin skirting through the water. Diamond gave a gurgled shriek as the water turned red and she was pulled under.

“Shark!!” somepony shouted, “Shark in the water!!”

Before Twilight had even realized it, the crowd was in full panic mode, everypony nearly trampling everypony else.

“Everpony out of the water, now!!” Twilight shouted a little too late.

Silver Spoon stood in horrified shock as she witnessed her best friend go under the water, and a bloody, deflated chair float up in shore.

“Have you seen Diamond Tiara?” Filthy Rich asked Silver, just before he noticed what was left of the chair.

“Oh, Celestia, no…” Filthy whispered, starting to cry.

Silver was too mortified to cry, and just stood there, unable to move. Diamond’s mother, Emerald Tiara, trotted over and when she realized what happened, collapsed in a heap of tears.

“My little baby…” she sobbed.

In a few minutes, the crowd had scattered, and Twilight had walked up to the scene. She placed her face in her hoof and sighed, realizing she would have to file another report. Rose and Thorn looked at their mother, confused and scared. Spike put his claws on their shoulders and urged them to follow him home.

The next day, a town meeting was held to discuss the so-called “shark problem”. A crowd of townsponies and a small group of reporters filled the city council chamber. Mayor Mare presided over the meeting and Chief Sparkle sat on a panel along with the Sunset Shores council members. Twilight in particular had a resentful sneer on her face.

“Quiet down. Quiet down, everypony.” the mayor urged the room, “We all know why we’re here. Let’s just get these questions over with.”

“Will that 5,000 bits be in coins or check?” said a random fisherpony at the back of the room.

The room filled with laughter and Mayor Mare banged her hoof on the table.

“Alright, back to order.” she said, “You’ll have to discuss payment for the shark’s capture with Mr. Rich. He’s the one that put the ad in the paper.”

“Are the beaches going to be shut down?” asked another random townspony.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.” Mayor Mare replied, “But only for four days. More than enough time to deal with this alleged shark.”

“Only four days!” Twilight protested, “I didn’t agree to that!”

“Four days is too much!” the crowd countered, “Tourists pour in next week! We’ll lose half our business!”

Twilight was about to bang her own hoof on the table to lecture everypony on their sheer stupidity, but was interrupted when somepony did it for her. The crowd was silenced by a harsh scraping noise from the back of the room. An orange pony with yellow mane and a brown cowpony hat was running her hoof across the chalkboard. She leaned back in her chair, her hat covering her eyes.

“Howdy, y’all.” she announced, lifting up the brim of her hat, “Y’all know me; y’all know what ah do for a livin’. Y’all got a bad fish, but ah’ll catch ‘im and kill ‘im. One bite, ‘ull swallow you whole.”

The orange pony demonstrated this by violently biting into an apple and chewing it loudly.

“A little shakin’, a little tenderizin’, and down you go like zap apple cider in winter.” she explained, “And ah value my hide a hay of a lot more than 5,000 bits. 20,000 bits you get the head, the tail, the whole durned thing. Mayor. Chief.”

The orange pony tipped her hat to the both of them and trotted out of the room.

“We’ll certainly take Ms. Applejack’s offer into consideration.” Mayor Mare concluded, “Now if there aren’t any other pressing matters, I declare this meeting adjourned.”

The crowd shuffled out of the council chamber and Twilight soon followed them, now determined to take matters into her own hooves. She charged herself with patrolling the docks where everypony and their brother were crowding onto fishing boats and speeding out into the water in race to find the killer shark. She also called a friend at the Manehattan oceanography institute to send their best shark expert as soon as possible.

Twilight trotted back and forth in frustration, watching as the fleet of fisherponies nearly killed each other trying to get as far out into the water as possible. She didn’t think life could get any worse until she saw Diamond Tiara’s parents trotting sullenly up to her. Filthy Rich gave Twilight a lethal glare and Emerald Tiara could barely lift her head up.

“Mr. Rich…” Twilight said.

Filthy responded by punching Chief Sparkle right in the jaw with his hoof. Twilight wiped the blood that trickled down from her mouth and stared in stunned silence.

“I just found out that a mare was killed two days ago by a shark attack.” Filthy remarked, “You knew it was dangerous. You knew there was a shark out there, and you let those ponies go swimming anyways. And now my little girl is dead…”

Filthy took his wife’s hoof and the both of them left as quickly as they had arrived.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, he’s wrong…” said Mayor Mare, who had decided to inspect the situation.

“No, he’s not…” Twilight replied.

Medium Rarity

“Excuse me, darling...” announced an unfamiliar yet sophisticated voice, “I hate to interrupt, but I’m looking for the chief of police.”

“You’re looking at her.” Twilight said without looking in the direction of the voice.

A white unicorn with a perfectly permed purple mane and a brown satchel on her back offered her front hoof to Twilight. The lavender unicorn shook it nonchalantly.

“Hello darling, I’m Rarity.” the white unicorn announced, “I’m with the Manehattan Oceanographic Research and Ontological Nature Society.”

“Chief Sparkle.” Twilight muttered in response.

“You’re with the MORONS?” Mayor Mare commented with a snicker.

“That’s MORAONS.” Rarity corrected, “If you know anything about Equestrian history, then you’ll know that the Moraons, or Moranese, were a group of ancient indigenous sea ponies.”

“And if you knew anything about acronyms,” the mayor argued, “you would know that as a conjunction ‘and’ is formally omitted from abbreviation. So that makes you a MORON.”

“Why, I never!” Rarity scoffed, flicking her head so that her mane brushed Mayor Mare in the face.

“Ladies, please!” Twilight shouted, “We are here to stop a killer shark, not debate grammar!”

“If there really even is a shark...” the mayor muttered under her breath.

“So, I was wondering if I might take a look at the remains, if they’re available.” Rarity suggested, “I understand that a young mare was killed while swimming a few days ago.”

“She’s at the morgue.” Twilight said, “But I’m warning you, she isn’t pretty.”

“I’m more than enough pretty for both of us.” Rarity whispered to herself.

“What was that?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, nothing, darling.” Rarity said, blushing, “Do lead the way.”

One the two mares reached the morgue, Rarity more than agreed with Twilight’s assessment. The old coroner begrudgingly retrieved what was left of Vinyl Scratch out of a large, refrigerated corpse drawer. The two unicorns used their magic to levitate the large black bag onto a gurney. The bag unzipped itself with Rarity’s assistance as the pompous unicorn stepped away in horror. She gasped and started to gag, placing her hoof over her mouth. All that was left of Vinyl Scratch was a half-frozen pile of bones and intestines, a few chunks of flesh, and four hooves no longer attached to their legs.

Rarity retrieved her horn-rimmed red glasses from her satchel, placed them over her eyes and cleared her throat.

“Most of the flesh has been stripped away.” she observed, “The ribcage crushed. The head is completely missing, severed from the body during the attack. The legs have also been severed; damage on the hooves indicates a single bite between all four hooves and hips.”

“Have you notified the RCCG about this?” Rarity inquired, her voice shaking.

“RCCG?” Twilight questioned, “There you go with the acronyms again.”

“The Royal Canterlot Coast Guard, darling.” Rarity said in all seriousness, “This wasn’t a boat propeller by any stretch of the imagination. This was a shark attack. And not just any shark attack. The size and shape of the bite marks suggests a species not native to these waters. I’m talking about a great white.”

The coroner rolled his eyes and trotted out of the room. Twilight scratched her jaw with her hoof and pondered.

“A great white...here in Sunset Shores.” she surmised, “And right in the middle of the summer season...there’s going to be dozens, if not hundreds, of tourists and swimmers here through the next few weeks.”

“You have to close the beaches, darling.” Rarity ordered, “You have to close the beaches now and keep them clothes. Nopony goes into that water until that shark is hanging by its tailfins.”

“We can’t.” Twilight admitted, “We can’t close the beaches for that long. One bad summer will kill our town’s economy. We’re Sunset Shores, not Windy Whores, I mean Windy Wharfs, that came out wrong...you know what I meant.”

“So, would you rather kill the town’s economy, or just kill all the tourists instead?” Rarity questioned, “You have to make a choice, darling.”

“Stop calling everypony darling!” Twilight complained, “What are you, some kind of jetsetter?”

“Well...yes....precisely...” Rarity concluded, “We’re Manehattan unicorn breed, darling, not backwoods earth pony rabble.”

“Next I’ll bet she’ll ask me to play tennis...” Twilight remarked.

“So if we’re not too busy trying to catch a killer shark tomorrow and all that jazz, maybe you’d like to play a round of tennis?” Rarity added.

“Sure thing, Rarity.” Twilight jeered, “Right after tea and crumpets.”

“Well, you can’t play a round of tennis without a nice batch of tea and crumpets.” Rarity said earnestly, “That goes without saying.”

“I think we should head back to see the mayor now.” Twilight advised.

The two unicorns trotted back to the dock, and by the time they found Mayor Mare, she was shaking hooves with a group of fisherponies who had hooked up a roughly pony-sized purple reptilian creature by its tail.

“A sea serpent.” Rarity commented, “A baby sea serpent.”

“A sea serpent is a real rarity in these waters.” Twilight remarked, “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

“Twilight! Twilight!” the mayor called out, “Get over here! I think we found our ‘shark’!”

Twilight trotted over and examined the creature. It was a round, scaly, serpentine creature, but as short and stout as an infant of its kind. Its eyes were closed and its mouth hung open, dripping its own black blood from its fangs.

“A fascinating specimen.” Rarity said from behind, “So round, so purple.”

“Take a look at your ‘great white’, Rarity.” Twilight said with pride.

“The serpent!” Rarity stammered, “I was talking about the sea serpent!”

“Hold it!” Twilight announced, dramatically pointing a hoof at the serpent, “If this one’s a baby, that means its mother and father could still be out there.”

“A full grown sea serpent wouldn’t stay in one place for this long.” Rarity said, “They’re nomads. They trail the oceans and rivers, back and forth, going where the water takes them. But that’s what concerns me. If it were a sea serpent, you could open the beaches again in a few days. This specimen is probably a stray egg that floated away from the nest and hatched here. Not to mention the bite radius on the victim was the wrong shape. Sharks are territorial. They linger in one spot until the food source runs out.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Twilight said, putting her face in her hoof, “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“There’s only one way to be sure.” Rarity said, “We have to cut the sea serpent open. Whatever it’s eaten recently should still be in its stomach. If we find pony remains, then perhaps I’m wrong.”

“Don’t be a MORON.” Mayor Mare advised, “I’m not about to let you perform some half-flanked autopsy on a fish and watch that Diamond girl spill out all over the deck!”

“You’re the only moron!” Rarity yelled, “If you want to be responsible for the deaths of everypony that goes into that water, then so be it!”

“Let’s get out of here, Rarity...” Twilight said, “We tried...”

Half-Flanked and Half-Eaten

That evening, Twilight sat around the kitchen table along with the rest of her family. Rose and Thorn were bickering over the last hay bacon strip as Twilight placed her chin on her hoof, deep in thought, not even eating her dinner. Spike looked at her in concern.

“What’s wrong, Twilight?” he asked, “You haven’t touched your apple fritters.”

“The shark, Spike...” Twilight replied, “That stupid shark...it’s still out there...waiting for the next Celestia-forsaken soul to swim out there.”

“Do they have a plan to catch it?” Spike asked, “Will they keep the beaches closed?”

“No, on both counts.” Twilight groaned.

“Mom!!” Thorn whined, “Rose ate three pieces of hay bacon!”

“Did not!” Rose replied.

“Did too!” Thorn answered.

“Enough!” Twilight yelled, slamming her hoof on the table, “Go to your rooms, both of you!”

The two dracorns angrily trotted out of the kitchen as Spike placed his claws on Twilight’s hoof.

“Don’t be too hard on them.” he advised, “They haven’t had much of an outlet since we can’t go to the beach.”

“We’ll go to the beach tomorrow.” Twilight suggested, “How about it?”

“What about the shark?” Spike asked, “We were all there when the last attack happened...that poor filly...”

“We can’t live in fear for the rest of our lives.” Twilight said, “Besides, I plan to be on patrol tomorrow. Even if our idiot mayor won’t close the beaches, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep an eye out.”

“What if the kids want to go in the water?” Spike wondered.

“I guess they can play in the estuary.” Twilight suggested.

The two were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“I’ll go see who it is.” Spike said, starting to get up.

“I’ll get it.” Twilight said, trotting over to the front door.

The unicorn opened the door with her magic, not even lifting a hoof. She was a little surprised to see Rarity, with two wine bottles sticking out of her satchel.

“Hello, darling.” Rarity announced, “Care for some wine?”

“Rarity?” Twilight questioned, “What are you doing here? How did you find my house?”

“Everypony around here knows where Chief Sparkle lives.” Rarity explained, “Now, I didn’t know what you’re having for dinner, so I brought a bottle of cherry-berry chardonnay and zap apple zinfandel. “

“How thoughtful.” Twilight said through gritted teeth as Rarity trotted past, inviting herself in.

“Nice place you have here.” Rarity commented, observing the surroundings, “A bit small and homely, I must admit, but this is a beach town, after all.”

“Do come in, Rarity.” Twilight said mockingly under her breath and rolling her eyes, “Make yourself at home.”

“Why thank you, darling, don’t mind if I do.” Rarity answered as if she had heard the remark and believed it in earnest.

Rarity sat down at Thorn’s usual seat and levitated the two wine bottles onto the table. Spike was speechless; sitting beside him was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes upon.

“A dragon?” Rarity observed, “You’re married to a dragon? How utterly...progressive...and what is your name, darling?”

“Uh...Spike...” Spike barely managed to say, “I’m Twilight’s husband. And...what’s your mane...I mean, name?”

“Rarity, dear. Charmed, simply charmed.” she answered, politely shaking Spike’s claws, “Spike, is it? Little Spikey-wikey. How cute.”

“Why don’t you open the wine?” Twilight suggested somewhat threateningly, levitating a corkscrew from the kitchen drawer, uncomfortably close to Rarity’s eye.

Twilight was flabbergasted that Rarity not only would invite herself to someone else’s house, but also give a pet name to another mare’s husband, especially one whom she had just met.
Spike, on the other hand, was intoxicated, and he hadn’t even started drinking yet. He looked deep into the white unicorn’s sparkling blue eyes and unsuccessfully tried to keep his thoughts focused on Twilight.

Rarity went ahead and poured six glasses of wine, one of each flavor, and set two at each spot. She and Twilight levitated their glasses in front of them as Spike grasped the stem with his claws. They started drinking as Spike unconsciously continued to stare at Rarity. Twilight’s jealousy waned when she realized that Rarity was barely paying attention to Spike and was instead peering dreamily into her eyes.

“So is it true what you said before, about sharks being territorial?” Twilight asked, trying to change the subject.

“That’s the going theory at any rate.” Rarity answered, “But if you’re still betting on that sea serpent, I say we go down to the wharf and cut it open.”

“I don’t want to see a half-digested little filly any more than the mayor does.” Twilight admitted.

“Well, if I’m right then you won’t, darling.” Rarity assured her, “But then that would also mean you still have a shark problem.”

“Wait, Twilight, are you allowed to do that?” Spike wondered, “I mean, just cut that serpent open?”

“I can do whatever I want, Spike.” Twilight asserted, “I’m the chief of police.”

“Then let’s go.” Rarity decided, trotting toward the door and beckoning with her hoof.

It was pitch black outside by the time the two mares reached the wharf. The only light that shone were a few moonbeams overhead and the flickering bulbs attached to the overhead beams of the wharf. The dead baby sea serpent was sprawled on the floor, chained to the docked boat that caught it, the hook still clenching its jaws shut. Rarity produced a large machete from her satchel, letting it float in front of her. She casually cut a deep incision in the serpent’s belly through telekinesis and then pried its ribcage open with a large burst of magic.

“You’re good at that.” Twilight commented.

“At what, darling?” Rarity remarked, “Performing a half-flanked autopsy on a fish? You know, as a filly I always wanted to be a fashion designer.”

“What happened?” Twilight wondered aloud.

“I’m glad you asked.” Rarity continued as her horn made serpents guts float onto the floor, “At one point in my childhood my parents lived next to a beach not unlike this one So one morning I get the bright idea to go boating by myself. Just a little inboard rowboat, nothing special. So a baby sea serpent...not unlike this one....swims out of nowhere and turns my inboard into an outboard. I expect most little fillies would be traumatized but I’ve been in love with the sea ever since.”

At this point, Rarity had subconsciously emptied the entire contents of the serpent’s stomach.

“Now let’s see here.” she examined, “A license plate, half of a tire, some small fishbones....is that a Lady Rara lunchbox? That’s about it, no half-a-Tiara girl here.”

“So there’s still a shark out there.” Twilight concluded, “What do we do now?”

“I say we go for a little night swim.” Rarity suggested, “What do you think?”

“I’ve got to call the Coast Guard.” Twilight murmured, “Close the beaches.”

“I’m serious, darling.” Rarity continued, “Don’t you have a patrol boat or something?”

“Yes, it’s docked here somewhere.” Twilight answered, “Sweet Celestia, that thing reeks.”

Twilight placed her hoof over her muzzle and almost vomited as the stench of the serpent’s insides caught up with her nostrils. Rarity breathed deeply just to show how much she had become used to the smell of fish.

“Just let me go fetch my scuba gear.” she added.

Before Twilight had realized what Rarity had talked her into, she had cranked up the motor of the SSPD patrol boat and was sailing out of the wharf. Rarity had retrieved her two diving suits and oxygen tanks from her supply carriage and was organizing the equipment neatly on the boat deck. Twilight was helping herself to the rest of Rarity’s wine and trying to steer the boat at the same time.

“The crime in Manehattan makes changeling-country seem peaceful.” she drunkenly ranted, “Can’t even let your kids go outside, gotta walk ‘em to school...you don’t feel like you’re getting anything done. But here, in Sunset Shores, one mare can make a difference!”

Twilight accidently slammed her hoof down on the control panel throttle and the boat’s propeller kicked up to full speed ahead.

“Sweet Princess Luna!!” Rarity shouted, “Slow it down!!”

Twilight brought the boat back down to speed with her horn and blushed sheepishly.

“Oops, sorry.” she muttered.

“It’s perfectly alright dear.” Rarity said, “Here, put this gear on, we’ll take turns. You go first.”

“Are you out of your mind?!” Twilight shouted, “We’ll be killed! Besides, you’re the oceanographer.”

“And you’re the chief of police.” Rarity reminded her, “Somepony has to steer the boat and you need to sober up, little miss booze mule.”

“I hope there aren’t any mules or changelings around to hear us talking like this.” Twilight slurred.

“If there are, then there’s some beachfront property I want to sell them.” Rarity said, continuing to dig the hole deeper.

Rarity helped Twilight into her scuba suit and turned on her oxygen tank. Twilight practically slipped off the deck and splashed into the water.

“Remember darling!” Rarity called out, “We’re looking for any signs of shark activity, half-eaten pieces of junk, half-eaten fillies, and half-flanked ideas for small businesses, got it?!”

Twilight raised a hoof in response and produced some magic light from her horn so she could see underwater. The purple mare dove down into the abyss, not really looking for anything. She began to feel as if she were in a dream, the alcohol making her light-headed, and the ethereal sound of the water around her. She dove deeper and deeper but the only thing she could see was the sand and silt of the ocean floor.

We’re not going to find anything. she pondered, The shark’s probably long gone by now. They can’t all be territorial.

Twilight comforted herself with this thought and fell back into a dream-like stupor. She drowsily noticed small bits of moss float by her and saw that they looked artificial. Artificial moss? No, that’s just bits of vinyl. Not that Vinyl. The vinyl from an inflatable raft...

Twilight managed to gurgle a scream through her oxygen mask as she was eye to dangling eyeball with a half-eaten filly skeleton, strips of flesh and pink fur strewn around a small ribcage, the side of a jawbone hanging open in silent terror. Twilight bucked furiously at what was left of Diamond Tiara and smacked the filly’s remains away with her flippers. Diamond’s corpse floated away but then started to come back up as her eyeball caught Twilight’s horn light and stared jealously at the still-living mare.

The gruesome sight sobered Twilight up more than any glass of pickle juice ever as she frantically swam back to the surface. Rarity shrieked when Twilight’s head burst through the water and she climbed back onto the deck.

“Darling, you startled me!” Rarity panicked.

“I startled you?!” Twilight yelled, ripping off her oxygen mask with her hoof, “I was just nose-to-nose with that Tiara girl, or what in Celestia’s name was left of her! Let’s get the hay out of here!!”

Signs

The next morning, at the first light of dawn, Twilight could be found at the shoreline, using her magic to hammer a large signpost into the ground. The sign read “BEACH CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE BY ORDER OF SUNSET SHORES POLICE – FINE FOR SWIMMING UP TO 100 BITS”

“Oh no you don’t!” shouted a familiar voice, “I’m the mayor in this town, not you, Mrs. Sparkle!”

Mayor Mare galloped down the shoreline where she had expected to find Twilight.

“Take this sign down immediately!” she ordered, “Or you’ll find yourself finding new employment!”

“Did you see that Tiara girl?!” Twilight shouted, “Did you?! I went diving last night and was eyeball to eyeball with her! And it’s my fault she’s dead! And yours!”

Twilight pointed an accusing hoof at Mayor Mare who angrily brushed it away.

“And that’s another thing, you had no authorization to be patrolling the waters!” the mayor continued, “You and MORON of an oceanographer are ruining this town!”

“I’m ruining it! I’m ruining it?!” Twilight screamed, snapping the signpost in two with her magic, “Fine! Have it your way! Serve everypony up on a smorgasboard! See if I care!”

The mayor scoffed as Twilight galloped away and hid behind the nearest building. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she sobbed into her hoofs, hoping nopony would see her cry.

The tourists poured in on one of the busiest days of the summer, just as Twilight had expected. Despite all her better instincts, she even had her own family back on the beach, because she still needed her job.

“No going into the water today.” she instructed her children, “I mean it. If I catch either of you swimming, then both of your flanks are going to meet my hoof.”

“That’s a little harsh, Twilight, don’t you think?” Spike advised, “What if they just played in the pond?”

“The pond’s for babies!” Rose argued.

“Bubble-blowin’ babies!” Thorn added.

“If only you saw what I saw, Spike.” Twilight murmured, “Fine, whatever. You two can go play in the pond, but not the beach.”

“C’mon...let’s go...” Thorn said in disappointment.

“Whatever happened to that stupid pink filly?” Rose wondered, having not fully borne witness to Diamond Tiara’s demise.

“She’s dead!!” Twilight blurted, forgetting that she wasn’t going to tell her children exactly what had happened.

“Whadda ya mean, she’s dead?!” Thorn wondered.

“She’s dead?!” Rose added.

“I was joking...” Twilight lied, “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere. Besides, it’s not like you get along anyways.”

“I wanted to hold her under the water!” Rose admitted.

“And I wanted to help!” Thorn said.

“Both of you get your stupid little flanks off to the pond right now before I slap the scales off your back!” Twilight threatened.

The two half-dragons scurried away as Twilight lay back down onto the sand. She soon fell asleep but tossed and turned as she fell into a horrible nightmare. She was swimming in an endless black abyss and found that she couldn’t breathe. Twilight struggled as her lungs filled with water and she frantically swam up toward a non-existent surface. She panicked even more as she found something was holding her back. The massive skeletal hoof of Diamond Tiara was pulling her down under, deeper and deeper. She managed to buck away from the creature, until an enormous filly skull, eyeball still dangling down, staring at its prey, opened its rotted jaws and swallowed Twilight whole.

“NOOOOOO!!!!” Twilight screamed as she sprang back into the waking world.

Spike embraced his wife as she shook with fear, breaking out into a cold sweat.

“A dream...only a dream....and yet if only it were just a dream...” Twilight whispered.

“Shark!!” a random tourist shouted, “There’s a shark in the water!!”

“Sweet Celestia no...” Twilight begged, “Not today...”

To everypony’s horror, a decently sized shark fin skimmed across the surface of the water and the crowds galloped to and fro, screaming in horror.

“Everypony out of the water now!!” Twilight shouted, not helping the situation.

Twilight galloped down to the water, frantically blowing the whistle on her lanyard.

“There’s a kid in the water!” somepony else shouted.

Twilight dove into the water with a splash as she saw a young brown-furred colt swimming away from the shark’s fin. Twilight took the colt by the nape of the neck with her teeth and dragged him back on the shore.

“You’re safe now...” she panted, “You’re safe now...”

“Hey! It’s a fake!” another colt noticed, “A fake fin!”

Twilight took another look at the colt and saw he was wearing a helmet with a large cardboard fin that had been painted over. Twilight gritted her teeth in rage and became so angry that she leapt off the ground and her mane burst into flames as her eyes glowed red and her fur turned white hot with fury.

“Button Mash! Just what do you think you’re doing, young colt?!” said a mare with cream-colored fur and a brunette mane, “Get back here this instant!”

“Aw, but mom!” Button Mash complained, “I was only kiddin’!”

“That wasn’t a joke!” his mother scolded, “You’re grounded! No video games for a month!”

“No video games?!” Button panicked as if his mother had said no food for a month.

“I mean it, Button!” his mother continued, “Wait until your father finds out about this!”

“No mom, no please!” Button begged as his mother dragged him by the tail with her teeth, “Please you can’t do this! It was only a joke! Please!”

Twilight collapsed to the ground in a heap of singed fur as Spike ran over to her.

“Are you alright, Twilight?” he asked, “I could’ve sworn I saw you evolve into a Rapidash.”

“I prefer Moltres.” Twilight muttered.

“Pirate ship!” somepony called out, “Pirate ship in the estuary!”

“Pirate ship?!” Spike and Twilight shouted in unison.

The both of them rushed over to the pond where their children were playing and couldn’t believe their eyes as an old pirate ship passed through the strait from the beach to the pond. Even more surprising was that the ship didn’t seem to have a crew, or even sails.

“It’s just an old abandoned ship.” Spike commented.

“Out of the water! Out of the water now!” Twilight shouted at her children.

“Aw, mom! Just five more minutes!” Rose argued.

“Ten more minutes!” Thorn added.

“NOW!!” Twilight demanded as her two dracorn kids scurried back over to her.

“Sea serpent!!” the same somepony shouted, “Sea serpent in the estuary!!”

“Who keeps doing all that shouting?” Spike wondered, looking around.

“Another sea serpent?” Twilight asked, looking around.

Sure enough, the purple tail of a sea serpent was flipping in and out of the water.

“This just keeps getting better and better.” Twilight commented.

Both the ship and the serpent’s tail came to a halt and then the ship turned around with the tail following after it. Soon both of them sunk back beneath the water.

“I don’t know what I just saw, but you can close the beaches now.” said Mayor Mare, who had snuck up beside Twilight.

Once all the tourists had cleared out, Twilight once again set up the BEACH CLOSED sign as the mayor paced around nervously, leaving a circle of hoofprints in the sand.

“I was acting in the town’s best interests.” she told herself, “We had to keep the beaches open. We can’t afford to lose money during tourist season. It’s half of our economy.”

“That’s right, Mayor Mare.” Twilight announced, “And thank Celestia that nopony got killed out there today, while the news crews were around.”

“The news crews!” the mayor panicked, “What do I tell the reporters?!”

“Tell them whatever you want.” Twilight said, “I don’t care anymore.”

“What are you going to do, Chief Sparkle?” Mayor Mare asked.

“With your approval, of course, we’re going to hire Rarity and Applejack to help us kill this shark.” Twilight explained.

“Fine. Take the patrol boat. Take whatever you need.” Mayor Mare said, “But do come back alive.”

Harpooned

The following morning, Twilight and Rarity went out to meet Applejack who was already making preparations on her old fishing boat, the Winona. Rarity had her supply carriage attached to her back with all of her diving equipment. Twilight had explained the situation to everypony last night, but was beginning to think nopony had gotten the message.

“Now let’s see here.” Rarity said as she unhitched her carriage, opened the doors, and levitated the items, “We have scuba gear, a shark cage, harpoons, radar, buoyancy barrels, life jackets, a two-way radio, and these delectable lilywurst sandwiches I made for you in these Lady Rara lunchboxes.”

“They didn’t come out of that sea serpent, did they?” Twilight asked, gagging.

“Just what are ya, some kinda half-flanked astronaut?” Applejack jeered, while scraping a knife against the bottom of her hoof.

“I’ll have you know that this is all top-of-the-line shark hunting equipment.” Rarity said proudly, “I paid for it myself. Worth every last bit.”

“Let me see yer hooves.” Applejack said.

“Whatever for, darling?” Rarity wondered.

“Just let me see ‘em.” Applejack demanded, “Hold ‘em up.”

Rarity raised her front hooves as Applejack trotted up and stared her down. The scruffy earth pony spit out some tobacco she had lodged in her jaw and grabbed the hooves of the posh earth pony, who cringed.

“No wear, no tear, no calluses, or scrapes.” Applejack commented, “You’ve been countin’ money all yer life.”

“I refuse to listen to this working class earth pony tripe!” Rarity scoffed, jerking her hooves away and turning up her nose, “I can’t work alongside this...ruffian.”

“Just who do ya think yer callin’ a ruffian, moneybags?!” Applejack argued, “You ain’t never worked a day in yer life!”

“Girls! Girls! Please!” Twilight begged, “Let’s just put aside our differences and embrace the magic of friendship that will help us kill that shark.”

“Heh. You sound like ol’ Princess Tia on tha’ telly-vision.” Applejack remarked, “She’s another hoity-toity unicorn I’d like ta give a piece a my mind.”

“Alicorn.” Twilight corrected.

“Unicorn. Alicorn. Corn on that cob.” Applejack heckled, “All tha’ same ta me.”

Within a matter of minutes, Applejack had cranked up the engines on the Winona and Rarity had loaded all of her gear. Soon enough, the three mares found themselves sailing off into the horizon. Twilight was given the unenviable task of setting a chum line, much to Rarity and Applejack’s amusement. Twilight groaned as she scooped out the chopped blood and guts of the same baby serpent that had been the first suspect of the shark attacks.

“Why can’t you two old sea mules do this?” Twilight complained.

“Cause watchin’ city slickers like you squirm is funny.” Applejack argued.

“She certainly has you there, darling.” Applejack agreed.

“Maybe we should call in the Coast Guard.” Twilight advised, “Isn’t that what you wanted, Rarity?”

“This little fishing expedition was your idea, dear.” Rarity recalled, “If we can’t find the shark by tomorrow, then we’ll bring in the guard.”

“Guard nothin’!” Applejack scoffed with another spit of tobacco, “That shark is mine.”

“We don’t even know if it’s a shark.” Twilight continued, “I know I saw a sea serpent yesterday. What if it’s both? And what about that pirate ship?”

“Ah can handle sharks, ah can handle sea serpents, ah can handle pirates.” Applejack asserted, retrieving a shotgun from the storage chest in front of the helm.

“How are you even holding that thing?” Rarity asked.

“Well, unlike you unicorn folk that can just make ever’thang float around, earth ponies hafta learn ta grip with their hooves.” Applejack explained.

She then loaded two metal slugs into the double barrel with her teeth and cocked the weapon shut. Rarity winced nervously and backed away.

“I think I’m gonna barf.” Twilight said, before vomiting over the side of the boat.

“Don’t go tossin’ yer cookies ever’where.” Applejack said.

“What do you care?” Twilight said, wiping her mouth, “I’m the one that saw that half-eaten filly, not you.”

“Ah’ve seen plenty a’ things in mah time.” Applejack said solemnly.

“And don’t forget that I was the one who examined that poor disc jockey mare.” Rarity reminded them.

“And I was the first responder.” Twilight countered.

“Quit yer bellyachin’, it’s not like we’re chummin’ out horse meat.” Applejack said.

“Might as well be, wouldn’t be any worse....AHHH!!!!!” Twilight screamed as the enormous gray head of a great white burst forth from
the water.

“So it took to that bait after all.” Applejack commented, “Let’s see if ah can hit it.”

The shotgun blast rang out as Applejack pulled the trigger and the bullets splashed into the water.

“You just shot at me!!” Twilight panicked, “And that shark almost bit my hoof clean off!”

“Ah wasn’t anywhere close to ya.” Applejack said as she loaded more rounds.

“Stop firing!” Twilight shouted, “You’ll scare the shark away and we won’t get our chance!”

“Ah’ll hit ‘em.” Applejack assured her, “Just gotta give it some time.”

Applejack fired off another round, this time at a seagull, who was obliterated into bloody bits.

“Yee-haw! Bullseye!” Applejack cheered, tossing her hat into the air.

“You’re certifiable!!” Twilight screamed, “You’re certifiably insane!!”

“I do try my best, chief.” Applejack said with a bow.

The madmare eventually put away the shotgun in favor of cranking up her harpoon. She had a massive spear-and-pulley system welded to the rear of the boat that looked almost like a giant fishing rod. Rarity looked down at the handheld harpoon guns she had brought and for the first time in her life was jealous of an earth pony.

Applejack sat the small metal chair that was bolted to the harpoon and pulled back the spring-loaded lever with her hoof. The chainlink pulley was sprung in place and the long metal spear at the top raised up into the air.

“Just keep chummin’, chief.” Applejack ordered, “That overgrown goldfish is bound to come back up eventually.”

In frustration, Twilight flung the remaining contents of the chum bucket into the water and shrieked again when the great white peeked its head out from the surface a second time.

“That’s it!” Twilight yelped, “I’m going back up to the helm!”

“Terribly sorry, dear.” Rarity apologized, “No more chum duty for you.”

“How generous of you...” Twilight sneered, rolling her eyes.

Applejack released the lever to her giant, spring-loaded harpoon and the spear swiftly darted toward the shark and stabbed about halfway into the creature’s side.

“Yee-haw!!” Applejack shouted victoriously, “Got ‘em! We’ll bleed tha varmit out!”

“That specimen has to be at least twenty feet long.” Rarity observed.

“Twenty-five.” Applejack corrected, “Three tons a’ pure muscle.”

The shark proved its strength as it thrashed about and tried to swim away. Rarity and Twilight cringed as the entire boat shook and splashed around but Applejack enjoyed the fight.

“Keep a move on, lil’ doggie!” she taunted, “You’ll only bleed yurself faster!”

The shark swam away from the boat and ran the chain-link out as far as Applejack had cranked it out from the pulley. Once the chain came to a stopping point where it met the pulley, the chain snapped at the link and the shark dove back under the water, taking the harpoon with it.

“It got away!” Rarity said in astonishment, “And it snapped the chain right in two!”

“He won’t last too long under there.” Applejack assured her, “He’ll bleed to death before suppertime. Speakin’ o’ which, my stomach’s havin’ a rodeo. Why don’t we mosey down into the cabin and break out some grub.”

“A capital idea.” Rarity agreed.

Applejack's Last Stand

The three mares trotted down into the lower level of the boat where Applejack had set up a small wooden table with four chairs. Rarity produced three Lady Rara lunchboxes in which she had packed a lilywurst sandwich, a bag of hay fries, and a cupcake. Applejack quickly scarfed down her entire meal while Rarity slowly and methodically took small bites of her food. Twilight was still shaken by the entire ordeal and her body literally shook as she tried to eat.

“Something the matter darling?” Rarity asked, “You’ve barely touched your food.”

“I should be used to all this.” Twilight confessed, “I’m from Manehattan. We run across corpses all the time on the beat. But I moved to Sunset Shores to get away from all that.”

“Don’t fret yer lil’ unicorn head.” Applejack consoled, “That shark’s as good as dead. We’ll all have a good laugh about it come Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

“There’s still a sea serpent out there.” Twilight added, “I just know it.”

“I know whad’ull make ya feel better.” Applejack advised, “I brought me a jar a’ my ol’ Granny Smith’s famous zap apple moonshine.”

The rustic pony opened a small cabinet next to the table and produced a large glass jar of lavender liquid about the same shade as Twilight. She gripped the lid with her hooves and unsealed the top with a pop. She then retrieved three shot glasses from the same cabinet and placed them on the table.

“So who wants ta go first?” Applejack asked, “How ‘bout you, Twi?”

“Sure, I guess.” Twilight said as Applejack poured her a glass.

Twilight levitated the shot glass and poured the potent liquid down the back of her throat without even tasting it.

“Ah! It burns!!” she complained.

“Has a kick to it, don’t it?” Applejack said with a chuckle, “You next, city slicker.”

Rarity levitated her glass and drank it without so much as flinching.

“I’ve had stronger.” she commented, “I could probably drink the entire jar.”

“You wanna make that a bet?” Applejack challenged.

“What kind of bet?” Rarity asked.

“We keep drinkin’ an’ whoever tosses their cookies first hasta pay the winner 50 bits.” Applejack explained.

“Fair enough.” Rarity agreed, “Let’s begin.”

What started out as a friendly wager soon devolved into a bitter competition of pride and social standing. Both mares had bloodshot eyes and could barely keep their hooves from shaking by the time each was on their sixth shot.

“You both need to stop.” Twilight advised, “You’re going to kill your livers.”

“M-my l-liver’s hu-half-dead ana’way.” Applejack slurred, “Jus’ l-like th-tha rest o’ m-me.”

“Wh-what ev-ever d-do you m-mean, duh-darling?” Rarity asked.

Applejack answered by vomiting all over the table and then collapsing into a sobbing mess.

“I-I w-win!!” Rarity tried to say, “Wh-who’s th-the s-sissy l-li-little unicorn n-now?”

Applejack quickly wiped her tears and vomit and gave Rarity a hateful look. Twilight helped Applejack clean herself with a washcloth and then Applejack cleaned the table. The earth pony the sulked in a corner as she and Rarity slowly returned to sobriety.

“It ain’t fair...” Applejack muttured, “It just ain’t fair...”

“Don’t try to back out now.” Rarity said, snapping back into sobriety, “A wager is a wager.”

“Y’ull get yer fifty bits, moneybags.” Applejack said, “I was mopin’ about somethin’ else.”

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Nun o’ yer durn business!” Applejack shouted, “Leave me alone!”

“Is in the shark?” Twilight continued, “He’s probably dead by now, like you said.”

“Ah told yuh to shut yer trap!!” Applejack snapped.

“Okay, fine...” Twilight muttured.

“What tha hay, I might as well tell yuh.” Applejack said, “Ain’t no point in keepin’ it a secret any longer. Most a’ mah folks are gone an’ I get a little mopey sometimes.”

“You mean they died?” Rarity asked.

“Whadda yuh think happened to ‘em, city slicker?!” Applejack replied, “Ah jus’ miss ‘em is all. Ya see, mah ma and pa passed away when I was lil’ more than a filly, they were killed when a stick o’ dynamite set itself off when they were tryin’ ta clear some rocks. Then ah had to raise mah little sister Apple Bloom an’ she passed away not too long ago on account a’glidin’ off a cliff tryin’ ta get ‘er cutie mark. Mah granny’s heart couldn’t take that so it gave out on ‘er and then she passed. All ah gots left is mah brother, Big Mac, an’ he left to go wash windows in Manehattan.”

“Oh, you poor, poor darling!” Rarity consoled, her own eyes welling with tears, “Forget the 50 bits, somepony needs a hug!”

The pretentious unicorn warmly embraced the gruff earth pony who stuck out her tongue in disgust and pushed her away.

“Ah dun’ need yer pity.” Applejack said, “That was jus’ tha moonshine talkin’.”

“I think somepony still needs a hug.” Twilight agreed.

Applejack was forced into a group hug by the two unicorns and gave a heavy sigh.

“Ah guess you two ain’t too bad for unicorns.” Applejack concluded.

The trio’s bonding experience was interrupted by a loud banging against the wall that shook the entire cabin.

“Now what?!” Twlight gasped.

The banging became even louder and tiny cracks began to form in the wall.

“It’s that durn varmit!” Applejack shouted, “He’s breachin’ tha hull!”

Everypony galloped back up the stairs to the deck only to find a large shark fin circling the water and occasionally banging against the side of the ship.

“Rarity, go grab me another harpoon spear from down below!” Applejack ordered, “I’ll end ‘em for good this time!”

“Aye, aye captain!” Rarity shouted with an overdramatic salute.

Rarity ran back downstairs and soon returned with a large metal spear in her teeth. Applejack took it in her own jaw and then locked it in place at the tip of the harpoon’s pulley. She cranked back the spring again and waited for the precise moment that the shark’s fin appeared in front of the spear. She smacked the lever with her hoof and the harpoon once again pierced the shark’s hide, blood oozing from the creature’s ribcage.

“Die you overgrown tuna!” Applejack screamed, “I’m havin’ shark steak tonight!”

The shark responded even more violently than the first time it was speared. It thrashed about with a demon’s fury and once again swam away from the boat, trying to drag it further out into the sea.

“Not this time fella...” Applejack muttered, “Twilight, get my shotgun!”

Twilight scrambled to retrieve the shotgun that Applejack had carelessly left on the deck.

“I think it washed overboard!” Twilight realized.

“Of all the cotton-pickin’...” Applejack grumbled, “Rarity! Get you one of yer harpoons!”

“Yes, of course!” Rarity responded, rushing back downstairs.

The shark could not break free of the second chain and instead caused the deck of the ship itself to take on water and begin to sink.

“He’s sinkin’ us!” Applejack called out, “We cain’t let tha engine get wet! Get tha pumps out!”

Twilight managed to find a small water pump in the engine room and turned on the machine. The pump gradually dumped the water back into the ocean but not at a fast enough rate.

“I’ll go up to the helm and run ‘im aground on tha shoreline!” Applejack decided, “We’ll drown tha’ bastard out!”

The madmare rushed up to the helm and turned the engine’s throttle on full speed ahead toward the beach. She sang at the top of her lungs in vengeful glee.

“Raise this barn! Raise this barn! One-two-three four!” she crooned, “Together we can raise this barn! One-two three-four!”

The shark still managed to put up a fight and the old engines could no longer handle the resistance. The friction became too much for the engines and sparks broke out. Fire and smoke belched out from below deck as Rarity galloped back up to the deck in a panic.

“I have all of my equipment but the engine’s on fire!” she shouted, “This is the worst possible thing!”

“Just hold out a bit longer!” Applejack assured her, “We’re almost there!”

“Up up up raise those beams! Hammer them joints! Work in teams!” she sang, “Turn around quick by the right elbow! Grab yer partner. Dotsey-doh!”

The engines soon gave out and the ship was dead in the water. Half of the lower level was flooded and half still on fire. A feeling of despair clutched Twilight’s heart but Applejack shook with angry determination.

“I have an idea, everypony!” Rarity advised, “Put me in the shark cage and I’ll shoot a poisonous dart directly into the shark’s mouth!”

“You’re crazier than Applejack!” Twilight yelled.

“It’s the only chance we have!” Rarity said, “Now help me set up the cage!”

The three ponies reluctantly constructed the shark cage on what was left of the deck and Rarity then donned her scuba gear. She loaded her harpoon gun with a syringe full of poison encased in a metal jacket.

“May the Faust be with you.” Twilight said as Rarity placed herself in the cage and slammed the top shut.

“Faust?” Applejack asked.

“Celestia’s mother?” Twilight explained.

“First I’ve ever heard of ‘er.” Applejack said.

Twilight and Rarity both levitated the cage into the water and Rarity sunk below the surface.

Rarity shook nervously as she tried to balance the harpoon gun in front of her, knowing the shark could kill her in an instant. She gurgled a scream through her mask as the shark charged the cage from behind and broke her concentration. The gun fell away from her horn’s grasp into the water below. The shark charged at the cage again and rear section came loose. Rarity managed a scream again as the shark opened its jaws and Rarity unlatched the top of the cage with her horn’s magic. The posh unicorn darted away to safety just as shark’s jaws became entangled in the cage bars.

The great white beast soon broke itself free and made another assault on the Winona. Rarity’s eyes darted about in confusion as she hid behind a seabed and faintly heard the engine of another boat. She could see the underside of a small motorboat that was headed directly toward the Winona.

Fins

On the ship’s deck, Twilight and Applejack were desperately trying to scoop out the excess water with spare buckets. Applejack’s eyes shrunk in horror as she noticed an all-too-familiar face driving the motorboat.

A large red stallion with an orange mane and a yoke on his neck stood at the front of the small boat and slowed down the engine. Applejack gave him a contemptuous glare as he trotted onto what was left of the Winona.

“Mac, what tha hay do ya think yer doin’ here?!” she shouted, “It’s too dangerous!”

“I’ve been watchin’ tha news, sis.” Big Macintosh explained, “About what happened in Sunset Shores. I just knew you’d go out an’ try ta catch tha’ shark yerself. I cain’t lose tha only family ah got left.”

“And I cain’t either!” Applejack yelled, “So why don’t ya just turn tail back to Manehattan!”

“Yer comin’ with me, sis.” Big Mac resolved, “It’s too dangerous out here.”

“More dangerous than Manehattan?!” Applejack argued, “Tha murder capital of Equestria?!”

“Actually, that would be Fillydelphia.” Twilight corrected.

“Quiet!!” Applejack and Big Mac shouted in unison.

“Never mind...” Twilight whispered.

“Sorry, Twi...” Applejack apologized, “I’m jus’ worried about mah brother.”

The Apple family union was interrupted as the massive shark leapt directly onto the front of the deck, causing the harpoon crane to snap away and plunge the boat further down, like an anchor. Twilight and Big Mac managed to climb onto to helm but Applejack slipped directly into the shark’s gaping maw.

“HEEEELLLPPPP!!” Applejack shrieked as she frantically kicked and screamed at the shark.

The earth pony desperately reached around for anything she could find and managed to grab a cutting knife from one of the spilled container. She stabbed the shark repeatedly in the eye as Big Mac struggled to reach out a hoof to save her.

“Take mah hoof, sis!!” he screamed.

“Ah’m tryin!!” Applejack shouted back.

The two ponies’ hooves couldn’t quite interlock and Applejack screamed in pain as the shark took a bite out of the lower half of her body. Blood gushed from her mouth as she gurgled and convulsed, still trying to stab the shark. The monstrous creature left Applejack’s torso to sink into the water as it swam back down below, leaving a bloody mess on the half-flooded deck.

“APPLEJACK!!!!” Big Mac screamed in horror, his eyes blinded with tears.

“Applejack!! NO!!!!!” Twilight bawled in only marginally less agony.

The two ponies’ grief was soon turned to confusion as the ghost pirate ship once again appeared from beneath the waters and headed straight for the Winona.

“Not pirates...” Twilight whispered, “Not now...”

The empty pirate ship was lifted high into the air as it was attached to a giant head that burst out of the water. Twilight’s and Big Mac’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets as they witnessed a gigantic humanoid mermaid wearing a clamshell bra and a pirate ship tangled in her red hair. She had the purple lower half of a sea serpent, just as Twilight had witnessed. The massive mermaid opened her mouth to reveal a large set of gaping fangs.

“Giant vampire mermaids!” Twilight observed, “I thought they were only a myth!”

The predatory sea maiden easily scooped up the great white with her clawed fingers and took a bite right out of the shark’s upper back. The mermaid chewed up the fresh shark meat and swallowed, wiping the blood from her lips. She let the half-eaten shark fall back into the water. Applejack had been avenged.

The nightmare was not over yet as the killer mermaid set her eyes on the two pony morsels still clinging to the ship. She grabbed the sides of the ship with both hands and let her cleavage rest on the unbroken half of the deck. The impact made Big Mac lose his grip and he fell between the mermaid’s seashells. Big Mac blushed but the moment was not to last as the mermaid picked up the doomed stallion, holding him with two fingers by his yoke. Before he could realize what was happened, the mermaid placed Big Mac on her tongue and made quick work of him with her teeth.

“BIIIG MAAACC!!!!” Twilight screamed, reaching out in vain with her hoof.

` The mermaid looked directly at Twilight who panicked and dove into the water. The enormous humanoid followed her down and opened her fanged mouth wide. Twilight took shelter under the boat and managed to swim back inside the engine room through the broken window. The mermaid’s huge hand burst through window and took hold of Twilight. The unicorn tried to teleport away but couldn’t concentrate. She did manage to teleport a large object nearby but could not tell what it was.

The mermaid burst back through the surface and opened her mouth to devour Twilight. Just as Twilight met the mermaid’s lips she noticed the reserve fuel tank she had accidentally teleported into the mermaid’s cleavage. She finally managed to teleport herself onto the mast of the Winona, still sinking into the deep.

The mermaid made a swipe at the unicorn with her hand, which Twilight barely managed to dodge. Twilight blindly began firing magical bolts at the fuel tank with her horn but only managed to sting the mermaid’s skin, infuriating her. The now angered mermaid brought down a hand to crush Twilight but the unicorn focused all of her concentration at the fuel tank.

“Smile you overgrown bitch!” Twilight shouted as she fired a concentrated blast of energy directly at the fuel tank.

The fuel tank ruptured and the mermaid exploded in a fiery blast of gasoline and blood. Twilight broke into maniacal laughter as bloody chunks of the mermaid rained down on her. She fell back into the water and found she was too exhausted to swim.

Twilight started to sink beneath the surface until the arms of a pony in scuba gear held her up. Rarity took off her goggles and oxygen mask and warmly embraced her surviving friend.

“Was that a giant vampire mermaid?” Rarity wondered.

“Yeah, I guess it was.” was all Twilight could say.

“Where is Applejack?” Rarity asked.

Twilight only shook her head mournfully and Rarity gave a downcast look.

“I’m so tired...” Twilight muttered, “I can’t swim anymore...”

“We can float back on shore with that.” Rarity said, pointing her hoof at the clamshell bra that had floated to the surface.

The two ponies reluctantly grabbed onto each giant clamshell and kicked their legs back toward land.

“You know, Rarity...” Twilight said, “When I was a filly, I used to be intimidated by older mares.”

“I can’t imagine why!” Rarity replied.