I'm asking her to change her ways
inspired by this cover of the amazing Micheal Jackson song:
I put my head on the desk, trying to hide my tears as I begin to cry. Silver Spoon had just left me, saying I was too cruel to those used-to-be blank flanks.
I had never meant to make Scootaloo kill herself. If I had known that she would've done that, then I wouldn't have ever even made fun of her flight problems.
I only needed some way to make myself feel better. After the abuse my father had put me through, I thought that I could feel better by pointing out my positive traits, instead of all the negatives my mother would talk about. My father was never around nearly enough for his encouragement to help counter my Mother's harmful words.
How could somepony like you even make a friend? I wish you had never been born, you know that? Don't play with those toys, they're too good for you.
My tears begin dripping down onto the top of my desk and puddles, as my breathing becomes shaky and audible. I feel the ponies around me turn their heads in my direction, probably looking at me sideways, as they'd never seen me cry.
I hear hoofsteps, and a hoof touch my back, slowly caressing my spine in a comforting way. Cherilee's voice breaks the silence, surprising be a bit as I hadn't expected her to talk.
"Diamond Tiara, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Do you need to take a break and go for a short walk to calm down?"
I've begun crying so hard, that I begin sounding like a foal who had just been physically hurt, and badly. When I breathe in, it sounds more like a wheeze, making me slightly choke as I transition from breathing in and out, stopping me from speaking.
I just nod my head, getting up and slowly trotting out the door as I try not to make myself look like even more of an idiot than before.
The cool breeze of Spring greets me as I walk out of the School Building. The heartless wind blowing endlessly, as if to mock me through it's own ways.
I look up to the clouds, currently blocking the sun as it tries to break through the cloud's white blanket. My mind skips to the times when I had an actually pleasant life. When Daddy was actually around, and my Mother was a happy Mare, not focused on conning and copying from anypony foolish enough to fall into her traps.
I collapse into sobs on the School's porch, hoping none of the other ponies see me. I really do wish I could make some form of amends, but I sincerely doubt the two living CMCs will accept me after how horrible I've been to them, and their late friend.
I hate this feeling. The feeling that you know you did something wrong, but you don't know how to fix it. Silver Spoon was so upset when she had found out that we caused Scootaloo's death.
"You went way too far this time!" She had shouted at me, fear and anger had filled her body, and her mouth had formed into a scowl, forcing me to feel the power that each of her words carried, smacking my face in a way that made me want to curl up into a ball. "Why in Equestria would you EVER make fun of somepony for not having parents!? You just don't do that D.T.!"
Tears had formed in the corners of her eyes, as she began thinking about what her future could be like should she stick with me.
"Listen," I tried to retort, beginning to cry myself. "I never wanted things to-"
"WELL THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY!" She had cut me off, leaving me with my mouth open as she began to turn around. What she said next was quiet, but carried the weight of the world for me.
"Don't call me your friend anymore." After saying this, she just ran.
My tears had begun forming a puddle on the Porch, as I hear the School Bell ring, followed by a plethora of my Schoolmates. I look up, hoping to find Applebloom and Sweetie Belle- or at least Silver Spoon- so I can apologize for the pain I must've caused them.
Applebloom comes out with a small group who had stayed behind to make sure Cherilee didn't need any help with her things. Sweetie Belle soon comes out, following in suite as they begin trotting towards where Scootaloo's body was found: the swingset.
I begin to trot over to them slowly, trying my best not to let my sadness get the best of me again. Before I'm able to reach them, Applebloom notices me and begins to get Sweetie Belle so they can get as far away from me as possible. I need to get their attention before that happens though.
"Wait." I say, hoping it'll make her stop and listen. Instead, it makes her move a bit faster as she mutters something to Sweetie Belle, who looks back at me with an angry look before they begin moving away from me. I need to get their attention before they get out of earshot.
"I just want to apologize!" I shout, making them stop in their tracks as their ears perk up. They turn around, Sweetie Belle looking depressed now, and Applebloom giving off a face of complete anger. I decide to begin, now that I have their attention.
"I know you're beyond furious at me, and you have every right to be, but just hear me out right now. I never meant for Scootaloo to feel depressed, much less kill herself. I just needed some way of making myself feel better. I see now how horrible my methods were." My tears begin coming back, stinging my eyes as they mix with the dirty air, all the while blurring my vision. "I just-"
I begin to choke up, as it gets harder and harder to breathe when you begin to sob like I am now. "I just didn't have the- the best experience at my own home, and it was constantly putting me down.
"Now I want some way to change things, to sew the gaping hole I must've left in your hearts. I want to change, to become more friendly, and to find better ways of cheering myself up."
What Applebloom says next brings about a pain worse than Losing somepony close to you, and it makes me feel like a nail went through my heart.
"I don't want your apology," She mutters, before ascending into a shout "Your apologies don't mean anything to anypony. You're just a wast of time, space, and air!" Her eyes begin to tear up, as she quiets down and says one more thing before turning around and trotting away "I don't want to see your face ever again."
Sweetie Belle gives me a small look of sympathy, before walking away with Applebloom and dipping her head until she's staring at the ground while she walks.
I lay down on the sand of the play ground, and begin to cry. Not the kind of crying where it's a single tear, or a sniffle and a few minutes of heavy breathing, or even the sobs you have after witnessing the death of your favorite pet. The pure, depressing type of crying caused by something as damaging as losing somepony you love, or the cries you give when you've lost all hope.
NEWS BULLETIN 10/22/30
Second suicide of a student from Ponyville High this week
As of Yesterday, 10:30 PM Honor student of Ponyville High, Diamond Tiara was reported missing from her home. She hadn't been seen by any of the local neighbors that night. After further investigations, her corpse was found the same way as the student who had committed suicide two days ago: Hung, by the neck, on the swing set within the Playground designed for young foals behind the highschool
The parents and Neighbors of Diamond Tiara have gathered at the grave yard today to pay their respects, and to console the grieving mother and father of the well known student.
Silver Spoon dropped the News Article, tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she began to think she had caused this, that she shouldn't have left Diamond Tiara, and pushed her into the sadness that had caused her death.
Author's Note
I am currently debating a rewrite of this story.
