Alexander the Alpha

by TheShadowOfZama

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Human, Comedy
Length: 8523

What would happen if a human and his companion woke up in the midde of the Everfree forest rather than anywhere close to ponyville or an other civilization? Well read the story to find out

A slightly psychopathic human wakes up in the middle of the everfree forest together with only his companion an alien raptor that goes by the name sir Thompson Snatch the third both suffering from a small hang-over, They are stranded with only some pizza boxes, empty energy drinks and some water bottles. Oh yeah did I mention the human arrived only in his boxer shirt which he is not pleased with at all?

Needless to say Equestria is about to be introduced to a whole new kind of chaos

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-16 18:40:33 UTC

Welcome to the jungle

“Why is it suddenly so damn warm?”

The owner of the voice raised his voice as he got back on his feet taking some time to let his vision clear a bit before observing his surroundings. He appeared to be in the middle of a jungle. “What the fuck happened?!” The biped asked himself as he tried to remember what exactly happened. The biped was dressed in nothing else besides a boxer short with various emoticons on it. “At least I didn’t end up completely naked like that time on Vagis 13,” the biped mumbled while scratching the back of his head messing up his brown hair a bit before rubbing his eyes one to get the sleep out of them and secondly to make sure he wasn’t dreaming this after it was obvious that he wasn’t dreaming.

Alexander A Ackerson famous or infamous (depending on which side you were on)  treasure hunter and commander of wolf squad four in the department of special research from the intergalactic federation of human systems a beautiful term for basically the guys who kill traitors and secured important research for the federation and stole it from others.

“Okay Alexander what did you do last night? Let me think there was the worker party, an after part, a pizzeria,” by the memory of the pizza Alexander started day dreaming about pizza’s again before shaking himself out of his trance and continued his small memory walk. “okay, that aside then there was uhm was it first the horse race and then the ice cream shop or first the ice cream shop and then the horse racing uuuuuuhhhhmmmm trailing off again let’s see after those two there was the striptease bar, the female stripper I hope was an actual female and the motel room,”

He looked around the small clearing he had woken up in and saw it contained some empty pizza boxes, some empty energy drinks and a few empty bottles of water with them one half empty bottle and a small combat knife which he probably had used to cut the pizza’s with seeing as the knife contained some cheese on it. Alexander took the knife, the half full water bottle and a tin can that laid by the pizza boxes hopefully to cook water in as the water in jungles was often times infected with bacteria that he could kill by heating the water.

He looked around to see if something had changed in his surroundings, but saw there was nothing new.

“Great just great where am I going to find someone to give me directions to the nearest space port in a jungle?” He mumbled annoyed before his eyes suddenly fell upon some ruins in the distance.

“Well it’s the closest thing to a civilization in a big ass area!”

Alexander started trudging off towards the buildings he had seen leaving behind some pizza boxes, water bottles and empty energy drinks when suddenly he hear some snoring by a nearby bush. He silently made his way over to the bush while thinking of which creatures he would encounter when he was able to see it.

“Perhaps it’s a tiger or a panther or a,” He stopped thinking when he had made his way around the bush. “Or perhaps it is my sleeping HENTZAL RAPTOR COMPANION!!!!” he exclaimed loudly at the sight of his beloved raptor sir Thompson Snatch the third.

The Hentzal raptor looked like an Utah raptor only instead of having feathers he was completely covered with scales.

The noise woke the confused raptor who started scanning his surroundings calming down when he saw his companion. The raptor let out a small growl as to say “shut up dude I got a hangover!”

Alexander crossed his arms and whilst giving the raptor a disapproving glare said. “Hey, what the fuck dude? I thought you were the one driving you are the one who is supposed to be sober!”

Thompson looked at him with a look that said. “I was sober well most of the times I was sober!” making Alexander’s glare harden on him.

The raptor sighted and Alexander knew what it meant it was Thompson’s way of saying. “Okay fine I might have been drunk most of the time.”

This made Alexander roll his eyes. “You got dared by that Keplan raptor again didn’t you?” Thompson looked away from Alexander. “You got challenged again come on how many times to I need to say you can’t win from a Keplan raptor those guys are bigger thus making them more resilient against the Sloknot!” Sloknot was basically the alcohol for raptors this earned him a huff from Thompson.

“Fine perhaps you can win, but first we need to find a way back home in case you haven’t noticed we’re stuck in the middle of a jungle so follow me,” Alexander said before trotting towards the temple he had seen followed by his still slightly hung-over raptor companion.

Alexander had walked for hours by the time he arrived and he honestly could say he was quite happy as the sun began to set and you don’t want to be in the jungle after dark whilst he didn’t knew which creatures resided in this jungle the memories of his experiences in the Kerdanian jungle was still fresh and those memories were far from pleasant. Seeing as the branches were too low he hadn’t been able to use Thompson to ride upon.

Alexander and Thompson advanced further and further inside the temple complex. By now Alexander had figured out that the buildings they had seen were part of almost an entire city, well not city, but this place was clearly some kind of religious center or it had once been in any case for the jungle was taking over and the temples were falling apart on certain spots.

Alexander had always had a passion for history it was part of the reason he had joined the special research department rather than the intelligence and security department for his current job didn’t only evolve killing and blowing stuff up, but also researching stuff like temples and other stuff. They hadn’t encountered living alien live most stuff they discovered were cites etc, but they hadn’t found any trace of the inhabitants of those cities or the creators of them so seeing the beautiful architecture he could not help himself, but to study the pyramids.

However how beautiful and fascinated he also found it he knew better than to stay out at night in a jungle even if he was in a more civilized area of the jungle so he made his way towards what looked like the main temple as it was the highest temple there was his first plan was to make his way on one of the platforms on the temple as he didn’t trust these types of temples their inside how many explorers hadn’t died by ancient booby trap.

Alexander saw something in the entrance hall that got his attention. “Are that burning torches? Civilization here I come!” Alexander happily made his way inside the temple signaling Thompson to stay outside as he did not want Thompson to accidentally activate a booby trap of some sorts following the torches until after quite some time he finally found two big wooden doors by that time however he was tired as fuck as that walk to civilization was a lot longer than he had thought. “Bloody hell *pant* when I get my hands*pant* on the guy that *pant* choose that route I am gonna *pant* kill him!!!*pant*” Alexander cursed whilst trying to regain his breath.

He heard something break on the other side of the door and a lot of screaming and cursing sounded like a female. “They better have an answer on my question for a space port,” Alexander cursed before opening the door.

To say Ahuizotl had a boring life would be a lie oh he had many enemies. The ponies especially that Daring Do that Pegasus that always managed to best him on the last moment, but she wasn’t the only one being ruler of an abandoned jungle temple that he had as enemy. Oh no Ahuizotl had faced many enemies. The manticores, the timberwolves, the diamond dogs all enemies that have tried to kill him on one or more occasions definitely the latter had been getting on his nerve lately.

Ever since those dogs had kidnapped a pony they had been driven more and more into the jungle area of the everfree and thus causing more and more trouble for him luckily they weren’t the smartest and were often easily beaten back by calling upon his cats none of the dogs were really fond of fighting his companions and definitely not for some old ruins.

However fate had it he had found a small patrol of them which was assigned to escort some higher rank dog in their ranks and you could have guessed it Ahuizotl had kidnapped her to get some ransom and to weaken their influence in the area luck had it that on the way to the dungeon he had managed to sneak upon Daring Do so you could say this had been his lucky day.

“RELEASE ME THIS INSTANCE!!!!!!” the female Alpha dog shouted whilst she gave another few violent shakes against the chains that bound her to a pillar. Ahuitzotl looked at the pillar next to the Alphaness one where he had chained Daring Do to.

“Seriously how long can you two yell and fight before it finally gets into you two your heads you aren’t going to escape!”

“We are getting out of here,” Daring shouted as she gave another violent twist to the chains.

“If they pay your ransom you do and you better pray they do for you two can be used for other functions than only room decoration!” Ahuitzotl shouted angrily which shut the two females up instantly at the thought of being forced to do it with him both cringed.

Ahuizotl grinned wildly at the two females when suddenly the two big wooden doors opened and a strange biped walked in.

“SLAM!!!”

“Good evening everybody could someone kindly give me directions to the nearest space port please?” suddenly Alexander saw the situation he was in two what he guessed basing on their figure females bound to a pillar the Pegasus wearing some kind of camouflage outfir and a tropical hat whilst the female dog creature wore a similar outfit only with shoulder blades and a strange purple monkey/cat creature wit an extra hand on the end of his tail. “Oh am I interrupting something here?”

“WHO ARE YOU TO ENTER MY LAIR UNINVITED BEAST!?!” the creature roared quickly putting himself between the females and Alexander.

Alexander really didn’t appreciate the beast reference a lot so he replied. “Just to let you ape uhm whatever it is you need to represent know I was elected the best looking pyro-maniac AND explorer during the yearly department awards THIS year!!!”

“MY NAME IS AHUITZOTL AND YOU WILL PAY FOR SUCH DISRESPECT!!!”

By now It was pretty clear for Alexander he had hit a nerve if the twitching of the creature’s eye and the clenching of his wrist hadn’t given it a way then you could say the banzai charge the creature had begun straight at Alexander did. Alexander tried dodging, but unfortunately for him after he had successfully dodge Ahuitzotl he was gripped by the hand on the creature’s tail and thrown against a pillar.

This was quite painful as he was only wearing his boxers, but rather than to keep fighting Alexander pretended to be death fooling both the trapped females and Ahuitzotl whilst the females lowered their gaze Ahuitzotl started cheering. “YOU SEE I AM THE MOST POWERFULL CREATURE OF THE EVERFREE!!! I AM THE RULER OF THE JUNGLE!!!!”

Alexander decided he had enough of the self-boasting speech and stood up searching for something to teach that thing a lesson which he found in the form of a spear after making sure the spear was sharp enough he aimed and threw it at Ahuitzotl who was still bragging on about how awesome he was.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

That was the response of Ahuizotl after the spear hit it’s mark and pierced through the flesh of Ahuitzotl’s right buttock this also startled the pegasus and the big dog creature who looked up again in response their looks changed from confused into dumbstruck when they saw the biped was still standing.

“WHAT!?! HOW !?!” Ahuizotl exclaimed angrily as he saw the biped was still standing.

“What never heard of playing death? It means you trick someone or something into thinking your death,” Alexander explained.

“I KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU INSOLENT BEAST, but you won’t trick me a second time and this time you are unarmed,” Ahuitzotl finished while grinning wildly. The two females looked worriedly as their only hope of escaping Ahuitzotl’s grasp was indeed unarmed standing over an armed and extremely pissed off Ahuitzotl.

“You know there are a lot of words to describe my current situation uhm you have bored, annoyed, hungry, tired, disappointment, cold, pained and I guess disgusted by your presence too, but unarmed nope,” the biped started rattling on confusing both the female Pegasus, dog creature and Ahuitzotl.

“And what pray tell do you have as a weapon,” Ahuitzotl asked annoyed in response Alexander showed him the combat knife he had with him which caused Ahuizotl to break out in a loud laughter and the two females to frown. “granted it was weapon, but what did the biped hope to do with the small knife to Ahuitzotl.

Suddenly the room was filled with what needed to sound like laughter, but sounded more like a dolphin trying to laugh this made Ahuitzotl shut up and look over towards the entrance where a familiar now pissed off Hentzal raptor was now blocking the entrance and growling menacingly at Ahuitzotl who was taken aback by the sudden appearance of a completely unknown specie strong as Ahuitzotl may have been the stinging pain in his butt from the spear, the slight bit of fear that washed over him at the sight of rows of razor sharp teeth in the mouth of the creature made him run off through a different entrance.

“That was awesome that growl was just a goddamn masterpiece,” Alexander complimented his raptor friend who had by now crossed the distance between the two and nuzzled him as a sign of appreciation. Alexander however remembered they weren’t alone in the room.

“Oh yeah say ladies could you two give me directions to the nearest owh they fainted,” Alexander stated after he saw the two females were just laying near the pillar motionlessly, but still breathing.

Thompson looked at them as well before shooting Alexander a questioning stare. “Yes, it is your fault I think.”

Which earned him an annoyed huff from Thompson as to say. “Not my fault they can’t handle my awesomeness!”

Getting acquainted

Alexander and Thompson stood in the room one staring awkwardly at the two fainted females whilst the other had decided this would be a very appropriate time to chase his own tail. Alexander was trying to process the situation when suddenly his brain came to a conclusion. ‘Yep, this is definitely strange.'

“So you came to that conclusion all on your own,” Alexander asked his brain.

'Yep, I did it all alo… that was sarcasm wasn’t it!'

“Yep so you have a plan brain?”

‘We wait until they wake up, but in the meantime we could eat and drink something as well as explore a bit.’

“Yeah because that’s a real sma… wait you actually said something useful once?”

‘I am full of surprise aren’t I?’

“Indeed and also full of holes.”

‘How does that oh you son of a bitch that’s so funny I am just dying from laughing,’ *laughs mockingly*

Alexander decides that he had wasted enough time goofing with his brain so he just took a drink seeing as he didn’t really have any food. “I hope those two females give us some kind of snack when they wake up it’s I think the least they can do after saving their hide from Ahuit….. whatever the monkey things name was,” Alexander stated earning an nod of agreement from Thompson.

“Could you watch them Thompson to make sure they don’t try and get away before we have the coordinates of the nearest space port?”

Thompson gave him a questioning look. “What you are smooth with the ladies,” Alexander said smiling while signaling at the two fainted females which made Thompson roll his eyes.

Alexander went to the tunnel the monkey thing had used to escape from Thompson unlike the one he had used to enter this place the tunnel was completely dark. “He is probably nocturnal if he can find his way through here in the dark that or he knows this place both are possible since this was his lair.”

However before he could explore more he heard Thompson let out a shriek that meant “Get your ass over here!” Alexander stood next to Thompson within half a minute. The dog creature was waking up and when it opened her eyes she saw Thompson and Alexander looking at her which caused her to let a shriek of fear definitely at the sight of the Hentzal raptor and tried to claw away.

As she was still bound to the pillar she only managed to press her back against the pillar fear obvious in her eyes. “Good day to you fair miss could you please give me directions to the nearest space port or to the closest Federation embassy or base?”

The dog creature was staring in shock at him her mouth slightly open as like she was trying to catch flies with it as like she had never seen a human before after a few seconds she fainted again. Alexander looked at Thompson who was giving him a questioning look. “You think we broke her,” Alexander asked.

Thompson shook his head before walking away and laying down on a spot he seemingly liked. Alexander shrugged and laid himself on a comfortable spot as well.

Fang opened her eyes slowly as she tried to remember what had happened slowly, but surely all the memories came back. The message of sister to meet up in the capital as soon as possible, how her old escort had been attacked by a manticore whilst most had escaped she had been forced to stay, but she wanted to go to her sister as quick as possible so she had taken pleasure with a few recruits instead of her old guard escort.

‘Stupid stupid stupid!!!! What had I expected from recruits when we encountered someone as infamous as Ahuitzotl besides running away in fear,’ She muttered angry with herself for being so foolish and angry at the recruits for abandoning her at the very sight of Ahuitzotl. If those idiots had just managed to retreat organized everyone including her would have gotten away, but no they found it a better idea to throw away their weapons and scatter most of them would probably be death by now without weapons lost in the everfree was almost equal to a death sentence.

Her eyes widened as the memories of the biped and the strange monster came back to her and she started shaking the memory of the biped and the monster towering above her and looking at her gave her the creeps definitely with the monster’s teeth. Fang scanned the room and saw both the biped and the monster.

The monster laid curled up next to a small bonfire and the biped was using the monster as pillow it seems. ‘They must be partners or friends if the biped is allowed to use him as a pillow,’ Fang thought.

Both appeared to be sleeping so Fang tried to sneak away only to find the chain still binding her to the pillar. “Should have known there would be a reason why those two sleep so deep even whilst in the presence of two strangers.”

Fang wanted to call the two to ask if she could be released, but she didn’t know if they had come to rescue her or hold her hostage like Ahuitzotl did or worse eat her. The monster was definitely a carnivore and the biped probably an omnivore. She decided that she could best keep quiet waking them up would probably not be appreciated she herself didn’t like it when others woke her up either. Fang made herself as comfortable as possible against the pillar and fell asleep.

She awoke a few hour later looking directly in the face of the biped who was looking directly at her before she could open her mouth to scream the biped said. “Before you faint again could you kindly direct us to the nearest space port or federation embassy or base?”

Her mouth hung open and the only thing she could do was stare at the biped.

“You okay miss?”

Fang merely nodded as she couldn’t muster up any words after a few seconds she managed to ask. “Who.. who are you?”

“Who am I well I am Alexander A Ackerson the best looking pyro-maniac and explorer this year from the federation. I am the leader of the elite wolf pack 4 from the agency of special research besides that I am also the number one customer of Rivoli pizzeria oh I love pizzas so much besides that I am employee of the month from this year februari to juin and I only lost that position because I decided to take a vacation and didn’t feel like getting back number one after I got back.”

While Alexander was rambling on Fang just looked awestuck at him not knowing what to think or do and she didn’t understand half of what he was saying. What was this federation? what was a pizzeria? And why in Celestia’s name would there be an award for best looking pyro-maniac!?!

One part of her was absolutely terrified being in the facility of a pyro-maniac that seemed to not be completely sane either the way he had mood swings. One moment he was looking at her like she was a complete stranger which she was and the next minute he starts talking like she had been a lifelong friend of him that he hadn’t seen in ages however she had also and adventurous side which had gotten her often times into problems that wanted to know more about him.

The little things she knew about him was that he was apparently a very good looking pyro-maniac and explorer,   psychiaters would probably label him either mentally unstable or completely nuts, he was a soldier of some sort an elite one for that, and apparently he was an pizza addict whatever a pizza was.

“So who and what are you,” Alexander asked after he was don telling her about who he was snapping her out of her thoughts. The question raised only more confusing that he didn’t knew her name was normal, but that he didn’t knew she was a Diamond dog was strange.

“My name is Fang and I am a beta Diamond dog ,” Fang answered.

“hm Beta so you work like a wolf pack omega, beta, alpha right? So you aren’t in charge.”

“Yes, that’s the way our community is and well I am not yet in power I am the daughter of the alpha so until one of the two dies and the one that remains decides I should become alpha instead of my sister then I become alpha alongside the parent that remains,” Fang explained until she realized that wasn’t smart to say if Alexander had bad intensions then she had just told him that he was worth quite a lot as hostage whilst still being bound to the pillar so with no way to escape if he chose for that.

“Ah, I see so you’re one of the daughters of the big chief that does explain why that thing kept you hostage rather than kill you now I know who you are would you mind telling me who your friend is?”

“Uhm she isn’t my friend just someone Ahuitzotl managed to ambush on the way of bringing me here from what I gathered those two know each other not on the good way besides that her name is Daring Do and that she is a treasure hunter I don’t know anything about her I am afraid,” Fang answered.

“Do you know where the keys to these chains are. I haven’t searched for them yet because I wanted to speak to you two first before freeing you?”

“They are on the table on the far end near that altar,” Fang replied gesturing to a small wooden table that stood next to an altar.

Alexander walked towards it and took the keys before coming back and freeing both Fang and Daring from their chains. “Thank you Alexander if you don’t mind me asking what are yo and your companion?” Fang asked gesturing to the sleeping Thompson.

“Oh right I am a human and my companion over there is called sir Thompson Snatch the third, but just call him Thompson like everyone does and he is an Hentzal raptor loves biting things from there the name Snatch and when he isn’t sleeping he is the best companion you could wish for yourself if you earned his trust and respect that is otherwise your life is going to be a living nightmare and finally he is my main source of annoyance, but besides that he is a cool guy uhm raptor well when he doesn’t steal my pizza and drink my energy drink. I swear it is nothing more, but an urban legend tat those raptors don’t eat anything besides meat Thompson and his buddies are the living proof of that.”

Fang once again was dumbstruck, but recovered a lot faster than last time. “So he is pretty awesome,” She could hit herself for coming up with such a lame reply however Alexander seemed to agree with her.

“Yeah, Thompson is one of a kind I give you that. You will meet him after he wakes up. A piece of advice don’t wake a sleeping raptor definitely not an Hentzal raptor I swear sometimes I think they see sleep as something sacred to them for boy do they get pissed off when you wake them without good reason,” Alexander said.

“Good to know,” Fang said while making a forced smile se didn’t like it she had almost tried to wake those two up from what she heard waking Thompson up was one of the stupidest things she could have done.

However before she could reply they heard some groaning rom where Daring laid and indeed it seemed like the mare was coming back to consciousness. “Ugh what happened they heard her mumble.”

“Nope, everything is damn real if I should say so myself,” Alexander said startling the mare before she fainted again. Alexander looked back at Fang and asked.

“Do you guys faint two times by default or is it personal preference?”

Daring woke up after a while and saw the biped, the female diamond dog she knew was called Fang and the monster were sitting around a small fire. Daring stood up and the biped greeted her. “Hello Daring mind joining us or do you prefer fainting again? I do recommend at least trying these fruits Fang gathered before you decide to faint they are simply delicious!”

This made Fang blush slightly which was covered by her brown fur as no one had made such a great compliment about her cooking of course she hadn’t cooked for anyone besides herself since she learned it so that had also something to do with it.

Daring stood up and walked over to them where she was handed a plate by Fang. “By the way my name is Alexander and this is Thompson,” Alexander said gesturing to the raptor who gave a nod in agreement.

“Mind telling us how you get in this situation?”

“No, not at all I mean you guys saved my life so I guess this is the least I could do. I was searching for some treasures these temples most of the times contain numerous treasures for those lucky enough to make it to the treasure and to civilization again they could drastically increase your living conditions of course that is not without dangers.

First you need to find them, then you need to reach them and then you need to escape from those that want to steel them from you like Ahuitzotl,” Daring spat the name out like venom.

“I take it this isn’t the first time you and monkey man crossed paths,”

Both Daring and Fang needed to stiffen a laugh at the nickname Alexander had given Ahuitzotl. “You are correct I have encountered Ahuitzotl many times already and whilst this is not the first time he captured me it is the first time he tried using me as a hostage rather than trying to kill me.  Wonder why that was?”

“So what are you two ladies planning on doing now you are free again?”

“Well since Ahuitzotl was here before me I guess I will just go and search another temple,” Daring replied.

Fang sighted sadly. “I need to get to my sister she says there is something very important, but to go through the everfree alone on foot is almost equal to suicide.”

“Well, me and Thompson have nothing else planned and we don’t have a clue of what to do either so if we don’t get shot on sight we will escort you to your sister,” Alexander said only to find himself being hugged by Fang.

“Oh thank you thank you!!!! On that way I can reach my destination whiting the time schedule I had!”

“You’re choking me!” Alexander managed to say whilst trying to get every bit of oxygen he could get much to the amusement of both Daring and Thompson.

“Oh my I am sorry I really didn’t want to…,” Fang tried to apologize before being cut off by Alexander.

“It’s nothing alright, but I want the location of the closest pizzeria near you sisters residency,” Alexander said playfully.

“Oh yeah that’s what I wanted to ask you what’s a pizzeria and a pizza?”

Alexander’s face paled and he managed to say. “You you don’t have pizza’s where you’re from?”

“No, I don’t think anywhere in Equestria for that matter,” Fang replied.

“NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Damn you god Damn you!!!! THERE IS NO THING I DID WORSE ENOUGH FOR TAKING AWAY MY PIZZA!!!!!!” Alexander yelled while sobbing almost of the verge of a mental break down.

The three others looked at him. The two females completely confused and the raptor with an amused look that said. “That was fucking priceless!”

Timberwolf rodeo

The next day Alexander, Thomspon, Daring and Fang exited the temple and after saying their goodbyes  to Daring Alexander looked at Fang. “So where do we need to go?”

She pointed at a mountain in the distance. “That’s where the Diamond dog capital is.” When she looked back she saw both Alexander and Thompson look mouth agape at the mountain.

“Damn, that’s not a little walk!” Alexander exclaimed followed by Thompson letting out a small symphony of shrieks, growl, moans and clicking sounds. Fang looked at Thompson confused as to what he was trying to say.

“He says we can forget that he is going to carry us all the way to the mountain,” Alexander translated what the raptor wanted to say. Living with a Hentzal raptor almost 24/7 had his perks you learned their little language a little bit how strange that also sounded.

“Well he wouldn’t have been able to carry anyone either way the branches are too low in the jungle and besides it’s much better to stay as low as possible with all the strange creatures living in the jungle as it is whilst we know most of them even to these days new creatures are discovered not many of them a whole lot better than those we already know of.”

“Mind telling me the major threats we can face in the jungle,” Alexander asked really wanted to know what he needed to worry about and about what not.

“There too many creatures to name, but the most dangerous ones would be the Manticores, the timber wolves, the cockatrice those are the worst the others like Ursa’s and dragons are bigger and more dangerous, but also rarer so we shouldn’t walk into one anytime soon and if one shows up they are big and we are small so plenty of place to hide besides that dragons prefer gems over meat,” Fang explained she was so into her small explanations she didn’t notice Alexander looking at her with open mouth and Thomson looked uneasy at the mention of dragons.

Alexander had seen a lot an even more, but these creatures she talked about where nothing else besides myths except the ursa’s he had never heard of those  and he knew a few dragons not the giant flying fire breathing reptiles, but he had heard of Dragon raptors and let’s say he had no good experiences with them. The Dragon raptors were double the size both in height and length of Thompson and had the ability to breath fire, but their most annoying personality feature would need to be their absolute despise of everything besides their own kind even against other raptors they were vicious.

Fang had noticed that Alexander was daydreaming and Thompson shaking in what looked fear. ‘heh he is scared of something,' Fang thought in herself.

“Uhm with dragons do you mean uhm the giant fire breathing reptiles,” Alexander asked.

“Of course silly how many other fire breathers do you know besides unicorns and their magic?” fang asked rather curious.

“Well, we don’t have the dragons you mean anywhere, but we have Dragon raptors who are bigger than a Hentzal raptor and can breath fire then there are Aqua dragonises who are basically long, big snake like creature with small claws and who can breath fire uhm let me think and just to empathize my point that there are quite a few there are Dragon terranadis who look a bit humanoid only bigger and bulkier so yeah we do have a couple and there are more with the name dragon in and even more with the word dragon not in it.”

Fang was awestruck they only had two types of fire breathers she knew off and those caused enough problems as it was and ponies were by far not as frightening as the creatures he had told of sounded definitely the Dragon raptor as Thompson had scared her to death and even now was making her slightly uncomfortable and seemingly this dragon raptor was bigger, longer and far more hostile than Thompson even making said raptor nervous just by the mentioning of their names.

“If you don’t mind me asking, but Thompson looks rather nervous when you mentioned these dragon raptors mind telling me why?” Fang asked curiously.

“No, not at all you see the federation I work for controls numerous planets sometimes I work interplanetary, but most of the times I stick to the plant I live called Obrimar now to give you a picture of the planet it is a wild planet with very few big cities and metropolis and those we have are far apart from each other most o the times people live in small villages. The planet contains a lot of nature with plants and animals unique to Obrimar.

Obrimar was a place all the criminals were sent to as punishment on times the prisons got full that isn’t now anymore I add, but it is still a place where many criminals go into hiding as it is nearly impossible to find them in the wild nature the planet has and most of the times they are probably eaten by an animal or plant sooner or later so we don’t worry too much about escaped criminals as the nature is basically a death sentence there if you don’t know how to survive in it,” Alexander explained.

“A lot like the everfree forest then it seems the dark spot in beautiful Equestria,” Fang said spitting out the last world in disgust.

“I don’t know much about Equestria, but I assume you don’t like it’s rulers much.”

You could put it like that stupid ponies always stick their nose where it doesn’t belong and a lot of them are rascists distrust every race besides themselves yet dare to claim this is their land,” Fang snorted annoyed her voice getting louder and louder nearing the end of her little rant.

Both Thompson and Alexander looked awestruck at her not having expected this kind of outburst. “Wow, it seems someone dislikes ponies. I had never imagined mere ponies to annoy a predator that much,” Alexander said slightly playfully.

“Well, there are a few good ones, but most are either annoying or absolute snobs definitely in Canterlot where there are a lot of nobles and they have magic I mean what do you want me or other predators to do against that,” Fang replied stuttering and also slightly embarrassed she had let her feelings get the best off of her again.

“I can hardly imagine their magic is such a burden you can’t get a single one of them in service.”

“We do get ones mostly earth ponies because they lack the magic of unicorns and the ability to fly like of pegasi, but there the most useless of all for what we need. Manual labor is something we can do too. We need unicorns for tracking gems and pegasi for aerial transport as the everfree is just too dangerous to transport gems with ground routes.”

The two were walking through the jungle and neared a small clearing with a temple in it much smaller than any of the temple sin the complex, but for a temporary shelter it would do. “We should set up camp there,” Alexander pointed out. Fang merely nodded in agreement.

The two made a small bonfire and found some berries to eat so after taking a drink from the water bottle Alexander brought and ate a bit of fruits Fang gathered the three just looked at the night sky.

“You know about the ponies we don’t exactly hire them,” Fang said stuttering trying to find the best approach to tell him she didn’t knew how his species looked at slavery.

“They’re slaves aren’t they,” Alexander said more as a statement than a question.

“Yes, we need hose gems it’s the way our economy survives and we diamond dogs just don’t have the kind of magic to trace the gems in the ground like the ponies do and we also don’t possess wings like pegasi for air transport from the mines in the everfree to our settlements. Please don’t think badly about our kind even if our ways are ifferent from most creatures in Equestria,” Fang said sadly it was difficult for a diamond dog to admit this, but whilst she barely knew this stranger he had saved her from Ahuitzotl and helped her get back to her people with seemingly no interest in a reward besides not being shot on sight.

Alexander looked at the sad diamond dog he could sense how hard it would need to b for the diamond dog to admit that he could knew it he had dealt with people who had such problems before granted most of the times he shot those people on sight because they were his enemies, but hey a man got to do what a man got to do right?

“Listen uhm Fang the federation I work for looks down upon slavery,” He started this caused Fang’s ears to drop knowing that he probably didn’t want anything more with her or the others to do. “However the federation is no fool on some planets who are too distant for quick aid slavery is just necessary for their economy to survive I would even lie if I said my home planet Obrimar didn’t have slavery,” Alexander finished.

“So you aren’t to outright hate us for having slaves in order for our economy to survive?”

“Yeah pretty much if you got to do something you got to do something who can claim he fights for justice by setting free slaves if that acts has as a result of others being forced into a life of poverty.

There was a small silence between the two of them that was broken by Fang. “You know you are an alright guy you just seemed to digest something that ponies failed to understand or centuries,” Fang said whilst giving him a warm smile.

“How come you guys need slave for such a long time if it is for economic reasons only?”

“Lots of bad stuff happened in the past none of which stupid ponies would know of or even bother asking, but things happened let’s keep it at that or the time being alright,” Fang replied trying to drop the subject.

“Very well, I think we can all agree that we have more pressing matters for the moment than to think about the past like finding a way to a city or to find away to create a pizza in my case,” Alexander replied causing Fang to chuckle as she wondered how the man could possible keep thinking about so called pizza’s even when he was in the middle of the jungle in unknown territory.

“We take watches alright I will go first, then you and finally Thompson sounds good with you?”

“Yeah alright as long as Thompson doesn’t snap at me or something hen waking him up,” Fang replied earning her a smile from Alexander.

“No worries I think you are on his good side for the time being.”

Fang gave him a weak smile before laying down and drifting off into a deep slumber.

She was being shaken with when she opened her eyes she looked into the face of Alexander who placed a much telling finger over his mouth. She nodded her head as a sign she understood she needed to be quite.

He allowed her to stand up and motioned her to follow he carefully sneaked towards a small wall with a hole in it when she arrived he motioned her to look through the hole. When she did se saw about 5 Timberwolves patrolling the foot of the temple they were sleeping in.

“Mind explaining what those things are?” Alexander asked whispering not scared, but extremely confused sure he had seen strange animals, but once made off of wood that was new even to him.

“Timberwolves very bad don’t possess a known weak point a stabbing the thing won’t do anything since they’re made out of wood.”

“How do you deal with them then?”

“I heard a story about a baby dragon or so hitting a combined one with a rock somewhere in it’s mouth which caused it to fall apart for some reason, but even if we figure out how he did that these are small ones it’s unlikely to do that with these smaller ones. I heard ponies often times try to hit them really hard which causes them to fall apart however that won’t work on these ones!”

“Why not?”

“These Timberwolves made out of different wood then those of ponies. These ones are more resilient we would need some kind of ram for these ones.”

“A ram you say? You think a raptor will work too?”

“Raptor what are you oh yeah Thompson could work, but the remaining members would jump him before he could react after hitting the first one. We could use fire,” Fang proposed.

“No, if any of those things run in the jungle while burning we could start a fire and I don’t think we want that to happen.”

“We could hide until they leave?”

“Too risky if those things say in the area we better fight them here than in the jungle,” Alexander replied not liking the risk of having to fight those things in the woods where it was a lot harder to defend themselves.

“I know we could trick them into coming to that place over there,” Fang whispered enthusiastically whilst a plan formed in her head if they could get the Timberwolves underneath a small ledge which had some heavy stone bricks on it they could crush them by letting them fall upon the Timberwolves only problem was they would need some bait.

Thompson obviously couldn’t serve as bait as it would take a while to make the raptor understand his job so that kept Fang and him and Fang was the fastest of them two because she could run on all four.

“Indeed, but we need bait for that,” Alexander said while looking at Fang intensively at first she was confused as to why he kept staring, but then she understood ad if he could see her skin it probably would have paled a bit.

The Timberwolves were minding their own business just looking for some prey to fill their tummies with and the building had looked promising, but so far they hadn’t found anything that changed rather fast when they heard a small whistling from somewhere near the stone structure and when they looked a female creature was sanding which immediately got their attention and they started to advance at the creature with hungry looks.

Fang was whistling to get the wolves their attention and now they had it she wanted nothing more than to lose it. She started running towards the ledge praying that Alexander and Thompson would do their job when she arrived. The hungry growls from behind her gave her an adrenaline boost as she sprinted on all four to the ledge.

Alexander and Thompson had taken position on the ledge and were ready to drop the stone bricks upon the Timberwolves. They could see Fang running towards them followed by a group of hungry looking Timberwolves.

“Okay pal,” Alexander said while adverting his attention form the nearing group and onto Thompson. “Just push the block when I tell you too. You understand?”

Thompson looked at him with a face that said. “I didn’t understand what you just said.”

Alexander formed a poker face before pointing at the stones and said. “Just push the damn stones when I tell you too alright.” This time it earned him a nod from Thompson who hopefully for Fang had the right idea in mind of course we were kind of talking about a Hentzal raptor that once thought the right idea was eating books to get their knowledge.

Fang ran past them underneath the ledge followed by the Timberwolves who got a nasty surprise of a stone to the face. When Fang looked back up she saw Alexander and Thompson waving at her and she felt relief wash over he as she looked at her crushed pursuers the moment was short lived as the pieces of wood started forming a giant Timberwolf which caused her jaw to drop meanwhile on the ledge both the raptor and the human were also looking with wide open mouth at the giant wolf.

“I knew we should have paid closer attention to when she started talking about the combining part,” Alexander cursed silently earning him an annoyed look from Thompson that said.

“Seriously!”

The giant Timberwolf looked hungrily at Fang. “I guess you don’t like being hit on the head with stones do you,” Fang said nervously which caused the wolf to roar at her blowing his bad breath right into Fang’s face who started coughing violently as the nasty smell hit her noise.

“Boy that smells!” which earned her another roar. “I mean what a lovely smell!”

The giant Timberwolf started to advance on Fang. Alexander knew he needed o do something to distract the wolf and a crazy idea formed in his head.

Fang was pressed as close against the temple as she possibly could and the wolf was in her face with his terrible breath when suddenly she heard. “YIIIIIHHHHAAAA!!!” followed by a loud bam and a small voice shrieking. “Awh my balls!!!!”

Alexander was in incredible pain he had jumped on top of the Timberwolf completely forgetting the vital part of why the name Timber was in the word Timberwolf because it was made out of wood. He had just crashed on top of a wolf made out of wood with his balls and boy did that hurt!

“Me nuggets, me poor nuggets,” Alexander managed to say however the action had the wished effect as the Timberwolf backed away slightly from Fang as it tried to throw Alexander off of him by shaking a bit which didn’t work as Alexander had managed to get a hold of a branch from the Timberwolf body.

“Hah you aren’t throwing someone who followed rodeo classes off that easily,” Alexander proclaimed however he missed the fact the wolf narrowed it’s eyes and positioned itself before starting kicking and jumping like a bull would and doing this on a bull can be painful imagine it on a wooden wolf with nothing on besides your boxer short needless to say Alexander suffered.

Fang and Thompson could only wince each time as Alexander produced another sound or scream like “AWH!!, IH!!, OUCH!!!” Interrupted by a few times of “MY BALLS!!!!”

Fang searched a rock trying to make the wolf stop it’s merciless display the rock flew right into it’s mouth and he wolf stopped immediately before starting to couch an finally falling apart. Fang only looked awestruck a the bunch of branches and twigs that had been the Timberwolf with open mouth while thinking. ‘Did I just… never mind Alexander needs help!’

She ran over to Alexander and kneeled next to him. “You okay?”

“No, I don’t feel my balls anymore,” Alexander stammered out in pain meanwhile Thompson had come over to them and when he arrived he started licking Alexander over his face. “Haha stop it now what were you doing while I was busy getting my nuts cracked?” Alexander asked while trying to fend off Thompson’s tongue from his face earning him a confused look.

“You useless reptile you were just chilling out enjoying the show while I went to hell!?!” this earned him a confirmative nod from Thompson by this time the pain had subdued a bit. “So if those were all the creatures that needed to be ridden I would like to go back to sleep.” Alexander said awfully cheery for a guy whose balls got pretty close to being crushed if they hadn’t been Fang hadn’t really checked so she just laid him on top of Thompson who carried him back to the camp.