The Moon Isn't All Bad

by Ze Guest

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 13478

Luna finds out how much fun she can have on the moon.

Princess Luna has been sent to the moon after being unruly. For a little while, she can't find much to do. But after playing around with her magic for a little bit, she finds out just what she could do with it. The moon was intended to be completely boring, but now... maybe Luna can change that. What will the princess's shenanigans lead to? Absolute awesomeness!

Published 2014-02-09 02:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-07 21:57:53 UTC

1: Do You Want to Build a Snowstallion?

The alarm clock played that song again. Luna wondered why it was that song all the time. Is it a bad song? Absolutely not! She was just curious. Now, it is quite known that you, in fact, cannot hear anything in space due to the lack of atmosphere. But Luna was able to tweak a few things to her advantage. Her home, for example, allows sound to travel. "Another boring day on the boring moon." Luna mumbled to herself as she rubbed the crust out of her eyes.

Now, let's be clear here. Luna was quite fond of the moon. She remembered when she had the ability to make it rise and set. She was very willing to do so. The problem was though, everypony tended to be more appreciative of Celestia's work. Why was that? Sure, Celestia has been in power longer than Luna, but she gave the gift of night to the ponies of Equestria. No pony seemed to care, though. She was aware that ponies go to sleep in the night and had come to terms with it. But the fact that nopony was thankful, well, that's what got on her nerves.

So she wondered if she could take over Equestria. If she could, she would have changed a few things around. Not too many. For instance, instead of having ponies wake in the daytime, just make the day cease to exist. On the contrary, night will always be. But Celestia had other plans. And here is Luna, on the moon, all alone, with Celestia doing her job. And everypony swarming her and thanking her for what she does. Everything Luna didn't get.

Luna didn't want to get out of bed. She certainly didn't have to. She could stay there for the rest of her time in this barren celestial object, which feeds off the sun. Where else would the moon get it's brilliant light? I Got You, Babe was the song that played. Luna flopped over on her bed. 6:00. Why was it set for 6:00? Why was it set at all? Why did she even have an alarm clock? That was a good question. She reached out to tap the snooze button. She hit the off button instead. Way to go.

Luna lied on the bed for several minuets doing nothing but rethinking her life. She soon realized, though, that just doing that wasn't getting anywhere. She rolled herself out of bed. It took about three seconds to hit the ground. A lot longer than in Equestria. Her hair of black, blue and a little white covered her face. This didn't stop her though. She used some magic of hers to swipe it out of the way.

She staggered up and cracked her neck. She had fallen asleep on it the wrong way. "I would get a new pillow. If I wasn't stranded here." Luna grumbled to herself. Who else was she going to talk to?

Luna wandered on outside. She looked down on the world. You could only see a sliver of it. Most of the world she could see was dark. They were all sleeping right now. Maybe some pony was looking up at her, thinking of her. She was literally staring at half the world as it was. It's hard to believe somepony wasn't thinking about her. But alas, they were probably scared of her. Shuddering in fear as they thought of her plotting another evil plot to take over Equestria. That wasn't what she was up to, though. Just staring at the world, feeling a little dumb that she was here and they were there.

And by the way! What kind of sister sends their own sibling to the moon for a thousand years over a little rebel action? Seriously? Usually when some pony tries to take over Equestria, they're just put away for about three decades and let go. Told not to do it again. The whole thing was more than ridiculous. Luna was just being a little rebellious is all. Everypony is when they're growing up. Thirty years on the moon would be perfectly fine with her. But no, it just had to be a thousand years, hadn't it? Heck! She would be able to learn her lesson by ten years, at most! And to top it off, a barrier was set up to keep Luna from leaving the moon. She never attempted to escape nor even touched the thing. She just knew she would never break it. It had a little blue light in it. Just to remind her she was stuck.

She picked up a rock from the ground and just looked at it. Staring at it. It was just a stupid rock, what significance did it have? Luna, in her anger and self pity, threw the rock away. She watched as it floated for a little while and soon landed on the ground. The rock didn't do enough. A thousand years she had to wait. She had only been here for six months. Six months compared to a thousand years? Well, six months doesn't leave a dent in a thousand years. 'Here I am, moping around. Throwing rocks and drowning in grief. I have a thousand years on this empty plain. I need to do something!' Luna thought to herself.

But what could she possibly do? She's on the moon! Nothing but rocks and dust and herself exist on the moon. She began to find herself reminiscing. She remembered a time when she and Celestia were young. The snow drifted to the ground and covered the whole world in it's white, fluffy glory. She remembered when they were getting all dressed up to go outside. When they finally got outside, they frolicked around and tumbled and threw snowballs and made snow angels and everything like that. Then Celestia came up to her and asked a question. "Would you like to build a snowstallion?"

The idea of building a snowstallion sounded magnificent. "A snowstallion," Luna said. "Indeed! I would certainly enjoy that!"

Celestia and Luna decided it was in their best interest to see who could build the better snowstallion. A contest! Celestia rolled up two large snow balls and lined them up horizontal to each other. She then rolled a smaller one and plopped it on top of the ball in front. She used her horn to poke two holes to make eyes and drew a mouth making a smile.

Luna observed the Celestia's snowstallion carefully. It was... alright. She could certainly do better than her older sister. She walked over to a spot yet to be touched by hoofs and she went to work. She had the three snowballs in alignment, much like Celestia had her's. But she didn't want it to be the same. No. She would not have this little match end in a tie. Much less a win for her older sister who seemed to triumph her every chance she got. But now, it was time for Luna to win.

She carefully sculpted the legs. Making quite sure that they were identical to a real stallion's. The legs looked oh so perfect. What else did she need? A tail! She eagerly ran up to a evergreen tree and broke off a branch. Luna made sure it was just the right size to look majestic yet not too lengthy. A cutie-mark is what she needed next! She drew a little star on each side of the snowstallion's flank. Wonderful! Next was the neck. She made sure that the snow was packed enough so it won't fall apart. Now the face. She made the muzzle protrude the way a stallion's would. It was a snowstallion after all. The ears were simple. Almost too simple.

After about an hour of making the snowstallion, Luna woke up Celestia to see what her opinion was on this flawless structure. Celestia slowly open her eyes. She was overwhelmed with surprise when she saw the finished product. Luna had a smug grin on her face as her sister marveled at the sculpture. She awaited the opinion. "Well..." Celestia began. Luna's ears were ready to intercept a large amount of complements and praises. "Why is he bald?" she asked.

Luna's was quite shocked by what her sister said about her wonderful work of art. "Well, I-uh..."

"And his cutie-mark! It isn't lined up correctly! Just look at it!" Luna's older sister said in utter disgust.

Luna ran over to the snowstallion and looked at his cutie-mark. The two were not, in fact, aligned to perfection. "Yes. I see. But why does it matter?" Luna asked, trying not to have her voice crack as tears welled up in her eyes. She was watching her sister judge her quite harshly. Luna looked back at Celestia's snowstallion. Not even close to her own.

"And why did you use evergreen?" Celestia asked, lifting the tail.

"Well, I thought I would make for a good tail." Luna whimpered.

"And also, why doesn't he have eyes or a mouth? Now her can't see and he can't talk! I've never seen such a pony with so little features! Why is this?"

Celestia's cruel judgment was too much to handle. Tears started to roll down Luna's cheeks and she hid her face in shame. She couldn't help but cry. She thought she had the best snowstallion in all Equestria. And here was Celestia saying otherwise? Luna heard a warm chuckle and a hoof on her shoulder. Luna peered up to look at her sister's smile. "I was just playing a joke." she said.

Luna lifted her head a little. "You- you were?" she asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Of course," Celestia said. "I would never be so cruel to you. Not ever." (Ha! My, how things change.) "I believe you have won this match. I am sorry I made you cry."

Luna had a smile that only stretched farther across her face. The memory made her quite happy. After her sister's little joke, they were laughing hysterically. Bringing them close to tears. Luna, when the memory had come to an end, wondered if she still had the ability to build those snowstallions. The dust that covered the moon completely was indeed strong enough. Maybe she could.

Luna had bunched up enough moon dust to make a stallion. It wasn't as abundant as the snow on that day so long ago, but there was certainly enough to go around. She carved the legs so they looked like a stallion's own. The cutie-mark, a crescent. Luna made sure that it was perfectly aligned with the other side, even though looks no longer mattered. The neck, the head, she had made a face this time, just for fun.

She had finally finished. The moon-dust-stallion looked broad and handsome. And perfect, don't forget. She circled around it, observing it. It didn't need to be perfect. She just wanted it to be. The building of the stallion was fun while it lasted, but now what? She could certainly build another one, but she would lose interest after a while. So what would the fun in that be? Luna pondered this. Well, she did have magic. Maybe she could fool around with that?

Luna turned slowly to face the stallion she had made. He stood there motionless. Luna's horn started to glow a dark blue. "What spell shall I cast upon thou?"

The moon-dust-stallion was speechless. Then again, I did not withhold the ability to speak at all. Just then, Luna got an idea. A spell she could cast. A spell that was rather... embarrassing. She readied her spell and aimed directly at the stallion. She fired. The soundless wave of energy surged towards the target. "Female!" Luna shouted gleefully. The target had lost a lot of it's bulk, it shrunk in size a little and it's muzzle, rounder. She fired again "Male! Female! Male! Female! Male! Female! Ma-"

The dust-stallion had blown up for some reason. Moon dust shot out for miles and formed a tower-like structure of scattered dust. The explosion seemed odd to Luna considering the fact there was no fire within the explosion nor even sound! But space was a vacuum after all. She still wondered how she was able to survive without any sort of gas to breathe.

Luna hung her head and lost all interest in her destroyed creation. The tower still stood and it was going to be there for quite a while, but she just didn't tend to care at this moment in time. Luna shambled away, back to her marvelous home she had build out of the same material as the stallion. It was three stories and was a Modern Victorian style home.

Luna took one last look at her fruitless attempt to have some fun. The sight brought her to a complete 180 as well as a near heart attack. Her creation had not gone away after all. In fact, not only was it in one piece, Luna had brought it completely to life! The moon-dust-stallion swatted away the debris. Or, at least, as much as he could. Luna looked at him in complete awe. Was it possible that she, Princess Luna the first of Equestria, had brought life to an inanimate object?

The stallion walked up to Luna and stared up at her. "H-hello?" Luna said.

The stallion raised a hoof in a salute. It was then, that Luna had an idea. An oh so wonderful idea. Luna grew a new smile. This one, more radiant, more confident, more sure of herself. "You," she said to the grey stallion made completely of moon dust. "Your new name is Old Hickory. General Old Hickory."

This idea that Luna had, well, let's just say, fun is imminent.

Author's Note

Hello! Well, like always, you are completely free to give any type of opinion. If you love it, if you hate it, if you want to feed me my own guts. Anything!

Post Scriptum (of P.S. however you prefer it.) Chapter two is going to be epic.

2: The Battle of Citadel Ridge

2: The Battle of Citadel Ridge

Ammunition was quite low. And even though Luna had the uphill advantage, they were out numbered. The enemy force of pony sized lobsters in which Luna had built in mere minuets thanks to her magic, were forming up at the bottom of the hill. General Hickory was able to get Luna's attention. He pointed over to the stash in which ammunition was stored. Luna could tell he was worried. "I know. Ammo is not abundant. But I might have a plan."

Old Hickory looked at Luna with desperate need of a good answer. Hickory, though unable to hear due the vacuum of space, was quite good at lip reading. He also could not speak, even if he wanted to. Even if atmosphere allowed him to. But he was very specific and always knew how to communicate. Even with a sign language ignorant princess.

Luna looked back down at the army of moon lobsters. They were almost ready. Soon, havoc would break loose. But for now, Luna was devising a plan. She had lied to Hickory that she had a plan prepared so he would not panic. Though, panicking was not something he would do. Not often. She picked up her musket and looked at it for a long time, about five minuets.

Then it hit her. As the enemy came marching up the hill, Luna stood before her army of over 1,000. There was no way she would be able to tell them all at once without breaking some type of scientific law. But she could create an atmosphere for a few seconds before it was taken away. Her horn shone with that blue color it always did. Suddenly, the sky turned a light blue. Now she could talk. "Do not fire until you see the whites of there eyes!" she shouted before the sky turned pitch black again.

The truth was, though, nopony but her had white in their eyes. Think of it like this: The eyes were basically carved out of the dust. By now, you should have a fairly good picture in your head. As for the lobsters. The eyes looked like a normal lobster's eyes. Now why did Luna say what she did? Well, other than sharing an elaborate, perfect battle plan, it sounded pretty cool. Her army of moon-dust-stallions understood , though. Basically, don't fire until they're really close.

Luna peeked up from her cover and watched as the lobsters were closing in on her. She could see the enemy's moon rock bullets fly past them in a fruitless attempt to hit a target. They scuttled closer and closer. She could finally see their shifty eyes filled with confusion and wondering why Luna wasn't returning fire.

She popped up and aimed at one of her lobster enemies. She took the first shot. Right between the eyes. She signaled her army to return fire. The stallions came out of cover and let loose with a barrage of moon pebbles which were basically bullets. 'We are not going to lose Citadel Ridge! Not today!' Luna thought to herself playfully.

They enemy seemed to have set themselves up like dominoes. In perfect lines. Just waiting to be knocked over. Luna was determined to serve these lobsters with butter, garlic and water chestnuts. She loved lobster with water chestnuts, despite them not going together. Celestia would always call her weird for that.

Luna quickly reloaded her musket and levitated it. She aimed for another unsuspecting lobster. Fire! Dust flew off the lobster. Whoa! She just took his big claw! One shot. The claw floated majestically away as the former owner watched it for the last time. Another bullet took his head off soon after. Luna turned to see who took the shot. Who but Old Hickory.

The two loaded their weapons beside one another. "Nice shot." Luna mouthed to Hickory.

He smiled proudly. He knew he was a good shot. He always was. He nodded his head in approval. They dropped another pebble into their muskets and stood up. They both shot at the same time. Hitting two different lobsters. The leader of the lobsters, General How, turned to face his colleagues. He ordered a regroup. The lobsters fled down the hill.

The stallions didn't celebrate. They knew better. Soon the lobsters would scuttle back up the hill. The battle was not yet won. Luna was proud of her league for showing such gracefulness. They did share a few high-hoofs and hoof shakes. But those were acceptable. Hickory watched the lobsters regroup. His face looked grave.

"General?" Luna shook Old Hickory's shoulder. "Are you alright."

He looked at Luna and nodded. She didn't know for sure if Hickory was telling the truth. She shoved him playfully. "Come on, Hickory! It's a game! Just lighten up."

Old Hickory nodded again and forced a smile. It probably was a good time to lighten up. The lobsters on the other hoof were back in rank and headed back up the hill for another rally with Luna's army. The amount of ammunition had, no doubt, shrunk. Same plan as last time. Once again, the lobsters got closer to the base and once again, Luna and the other stallions opened fire.

One lobster was able to sneak into the base. Luna was lucky enough to scout him out. She swung the musket around and aimed at the lobster. She was to slow. The lobster shot a stallion in the forehead. Moon dust flew out the back of him and he hit the ground. Luna shot the lobster in the eye, instantly killing it.

She shifted her concentration back to the battle. They were still like dominoes, still ruthless and still lobsters. A lobster aimed at Luna and fired. She was lucky enough to get out of the way. But on her way down, she realized she had to sacrifice a few strands of hair from her mane. Luna watched as the hair slowly drifted down and touched the ground. Mild anger surged through Luna. Why you ask? Because as we all know, females are extremely fond of their hair. Most of them at least. Luna was one who loved her hair. The Lobster was going to served with extra chestnuts. Because she was going to chew him senseless.

Luna aimed at the lobster who had a surprised look on his face as he saw her. "I'm going to cut you open and replace your insides with butter!" she screamed soundlessly.

She fired at the lobster. The bullet hit him, yes, but it was not a lethal shot. She only hit one of his legs. He didn't need it though. He had many more. Now, Luna promised herself she wouldn't use any magic. But she really hated him. She aimed her horn at the lobster. She fired. And there his body lie on the silver platter. Water chestnuts and all.

Multiple barrages of fire later, the lobsters had once again retreated to the bottom of the hill. Once again, regrouping. Luna went out to pick up the now cooked, red lobster with water chestnuts and quickly teleported it to her house. Tonight, she was going to eat like a princess.

The stallions reloaded, only to find out that there was close to no ammo. About a box left. The lobsters were moving to a different side of the hill. Luna watched them and followed. If she was a leader, she wanted to be in front. The lobsters had ammo. Plenty of it. How were they going to keep them back? She looked around the hill. Looking at the bodies of lobsters. So many of them. The sight encouraged Luna. If they could keep them back with the odds against them, they just might be able to win this.

Luna suited up and went back to the side the lobsters were on. They were coming back up for a third time. Everypony ducked for cover and reloaded. General Hickory kept an eye on them. Waiting until he could see their eyes. For the third time, a lethal barrage was shot upon the enemy lobsters. But they marched on.

Luna went to reload again. Only thing stopping her was the fact that she had nothing more. Old Hickory was reloading as well. He saw that Luna was clearly deprived of bullets. He had two bullets, one of them already in his musket. He got Luna's attention and quickly tossed her his last bullet. Luna gave him a quick thanks and aimed at another lobster. Fired. She missed. The bullet flew right past the lobster. He didn't even know he was somepony's target.

How could she have missed? That was the last bullet and she wasted it. How could she? Soon enough, the enemy crawled into the base. Now was the time to get up close and personal. A lobster jumped at Luna. She quickly swung her musket and hit him with the butt. He was cut in two and both parts slowly floated away. Outside of the battle.

For the few seconds she thought she was safe, she was taken down. Somelobster had snuck up on her and knocked her to the ground. He stood on top of Luna triumphantly and aimed his musket right at her head. Moon dust spewed forth from the lobster's head and a hole was made in between his eyes. His body fell to the ground and standing behind him, was the General.

"Hickory?" Luna's asked in partial disbelief. Hickory saluted in response. He picked up Luna off the ground and she dusted herself off. Now, ponies were starting to die. They had to resort to close combat and the enemy was starting to mow them down. She had no choice. She surrounded the base in a barrier. Both lobsters and stallions alike stopped all combat and looked up to Luna. They suddenly fell down. Turning back into nothing but piles of dust. All except for Old Hickory. He gets to stay.

The two headed back to the house. Hickory jumped on the couch and stretched out. Luna grabbed the lobster from the kitchen, warmed it up, grabbed some butter and happily ate. Even though she lost the fight, she was still able to keep that promise to the lobster who had the sheer audacity to cut her hair.

Author's Note

I have no idea how this came to me...

3: The Battle of New Apogeeans

General Old Hickory stood before his stallions. Luna had decided to let him deal with this battle, just for fun. He was making some kind of sign language in which she didn't quite understand. The others did, though. And that was good enough. Hickory strutted back and forth, looking at his army. Observing them. Encouraging them.

The treaty had been signed by the lobsters. The news hadn't reached them yet, making this the last battle of the second war against the lobsters. Hickory and her were the only ones who knew this because Luna was the one who planed everything and she told Hickory about it. Two wars with the lobsters. But Luna was planning on winning both of them. New Apogeeans was going to the sight of the last battle of the two. Luna knew she could have simply named it city New Foaleans, much like the actual one. But she decided it would be funny to make a little moon pun. Just for kicks.

Hickory raised his musket into the air in come kind of silent cheer. Everypony else did the same, even Luna. Unlike Citadel Ridge, ammunition was abundant. But they were still out numbered 7 to 4.5. But Old Hickory was very skilled at things like these. He seemed to know his way around a battlefield and made good decisions. Now, Luna was testing his leadership. So far, so good.

There was no actual city to defend. It was really just a cluster of spires and tall rocks that she pretended to be a city. My, how she loved role play. Luna squinted her eyes. She thought she saw something moving. And she did. Thousands of dust lobsters were scuttling their way towards the made up city.

Hickory slowly drew his blade from its holster. Everypony awaited his signal to fire. He stood like a statue, not moving. His face was straight and stern. His eyes were deep. His sword at his side. It had not lifted yet. Luna was wondering what was taking him so long. The lobsters were only getting closer. Closer. Closer still.

The gleam of light shone in front of Hickory. The iron on his blade shone bright like the sun. Cannons fired and muskets shot. Ponies rushing forward wielding guns and blades. A cannon ball hit enemy line and it almost disintegrated. Hickory ran into battle as brave as he could be. He was daring to do anything. He lifted his blade and brought it down upon a lobster's neck.

Luna found a small crater in the ground, about four feet deep. An enemy bullet landed behind her. She felt a little tug, but no harm was caused. Luna quickly put it in her ammunition pouch. She looked outside of her trench only to find out that she was behind everypony. They had already started to penetrate enemy lines.

Luna crawled out being wary of any lobster's line of fire. She dashed to get back into the battle. Lobster cadavers peppered the floor. She could hardly find any ally's bodies. She found cover behind a rather small boulder. Only about two times taller than her. She used her magic to hold her gun and aimed at a lobster.

She was going to fire at him, but Hickory beat her to the job and ran his sword through his chest. Blowing off the dust on it afterwords. He was good at this. She scouted out another lobster who was blissfully unaware Luna. She fired at the lobster. He started to slowly float away in a trail of moon dust until the cadaver was completely obliterated by a cannon ball. The scene was majestic. It looked like a magnificent fire work exploding into the night. Luna smiled at the glorious sight.

Luna reloaded her weapon and ran father into the fight. She found herself running on top a mound of bodies. All of them, lobsters. Making an imprint in the dust with every step. A lobster ran up to Luna but she didn't hesitate to smack him with her gun and easily removing his head.

Another lobster crawling around. Looking for a good kill. The problem was. Luna thought he was a good kill. The lobster was only able to notice Luna at the last second. He looked up quickly. She put the tip of the musket in his mouth and simply pulled the trigger. He exploded into silver dust like they all did. All of this, and Luna was having the time of her life.

As she chuckled gleefully, a lobster aimed his rifle at her. She merely jumped out of the way with a biggest smile on her face. She flew up to a lobster as he was reloading. Happily, almost too happily, she ripped off his right claw and started slapping him across the face with it while shouting. "Why is thou hitting thyself?! Why is thou hitting thyself?!"

The lobster staggered backwards and Luna bucked him in the face. Luna pranced away to more cover as Hickory's forces completely destroyed the lobsters. Luna couldn't help but laugh. There was no way she expected the moon to be this fun. She never had this much fun in her whole life. She could literally kill anypony she wanted and nopony would mind. She wondered, if he wasn't in his stone imprisonment, if Discord would enjoy this type of disharmony.

Luna reached to pull out another bullet. Which instantly stopped her laughing. She had used it all up! How was that possible?! She looked at her pouch at investigate. The hole in the bag was extremely large. Where were the bullets then? Luna looked around. She couldn't go very far on the battlefield. The hole! The bullet that passed by hit her ammunition pouch! The bullets must be scattered everywhere.

She saw something shining on the ground. It was lying next to a mound of dust that was most likely from a lobster. Her horn shone blue and she dragged the object over to her. It was- it was a sword. She stared at it, watching the light glint off it. She could feel a smile coming on. She dropped the musket and walked out of her cover.

She charged it the fight wielding her newly found sword. A lobster stood in front of her. Luna swung her blade and cut him in two. She was catching up to another. "Say goodbye to thy head!" She said. Oh, if only one could hear you scream in space. Because when she ran past him, the head was floating away from it's owner.

Luna saw another lobster. She ran him right through. So fast. Another one. No chance. Two of them came up to her. One with a sword, another with a musket and bayonet. Before the lobster with the bayonet could fire, Luna threw her sword and impaled him. She then pulled the sword out of the lobster swiftly, perfectly, and slashed the other one. She also decided to take his sword too. "The fun has been doubled!" She shouted to herself.

Luna waltzed her way through the enemy reinforcements. This caught Hickory's eye. His face withheld the most confused look it possibly could. The lobsters seemed to notice Luna as well. The sight intimidated them to the point where their leader called for a full retreat.

The lobsters didn't take the new well. But they had to. They quickly fell back. Luna wasn't quite done yet. Just one more. One lobster, scuttling away in pure fear as he realized that Luna was on his tail. Unfortunately for the lobster, those tinny legs of his didn't make any promises. Luna raised her two swords and lowered. The lobster was cut into three and soon exploded for some reason.

Out of breath,(if even possible in space.) Luna stopped slaughtering lobsters after him and stabbed the blades into the ground. She was quite surprised. The battle only took thirty minuets. The battle at Citadel Ridge took some time. A couple of hours. It seemed that Old Hickory was a good leader. Luna surrounded the battlefield in a barrier and soon, lobsters and stallions alike exploded into dust.

Hickory walked up to Luna who was smiling blissfully. She turned to Hickory and waved at him. But instead of a wave back, he inspected Luna up and down with that confused face. Before he could react, Luna swung a foreleg around him. The two started to head home again. But on the way, Luna just couldn't stop thinking about those swords. She had an idea.

Author's Note

As if pony puns wasn't enough...

4: 300 Stallions

Now, while fighting with musket was a fun game, Luna found herself liking the swords. She just dominated with them. She wanted to do it again. She also wanted a change in enemies. The lobsters were a good idea, true, but she felt she needed a change. Maybe Persian cats? No, too fluffy and cute. She wouldn't want to slaughter them. What about Persian Tigers? Yes! That would certainly work.

Luna and Hickory together went out to find a good spot for battle. It was tedious work, indeed, but they found the perfect spot. A cliff. Narrow and steep. A perfect and dramatic scene for close combat. Now was the time to make the tigers. She pranced up to a plateau which was quite large. Seemed like the size of Manehattan. She lit up her horn and went to work. She started wondering, though, what would the circumstances be? She had a lot of fun with the battles while outnumbered.

Now that she was going to be outnumbered yet again, by how much? Last time, at the battle of New Apogeeans, she was outnumbered 7 to 4. Maybe she should make the stakes higher. 3 to 10! No! Even better, 0.3 to 10! Was this idea due to insanity? Probably. But she wanted to do it.

"So what do you think?" Luna asked Hickory. A cheesy smile stretched across her face. It made her feel like a filly again. (Oh, what a long lost thought that was.)

Hickory thought that Luna was just downright insane. The odds were horrible. He wondered if Luna had her head straight. Yes, it was a fact that he led an army outnumbered. But even those odds were somewhat reasonable. Hickory used the best of his ability to explain this. Luna got only the basis of it. She was insane.

"It's only a game!" Luna reminded Hickory. "Everything will be fine in the end!"

Hickory rolled his eyes. Yes, though. I was just a game. It was hard to forget that. He shook a bad memory from his head. He nodded. Just a game... right. He went to work. Thinking of strategies to use against the Persian Tigers. Luna was going to build them, though. All ten thousand of them. Hickory turned to look at Luna for one second. He nearly fell over when he saw that Luna was already done!

"Any strategy that could be put to good use?" Luna asked.

Hickory put a hoof on his face and shook his head. He went back to thinking of good ideas. If they were going to be outnumbered a thousand to one, he might have an idea. It was a good idea that might work. He explained to Luna. She liked it. She liked it a lot.

Luna stood before her three hundred stallions. She had a good idea for a little pep-talk before the fighting. But it was no use. Stupid gasless space. Ten thousand tigers was an overwhelming number but she knew that they have a chance. After Hickory's strategy. Perfect. It almost seemed familiar for some reason. But no matter. Not even her sister could think of such a plan of deception.

She lifted her sword and shield. It was time to move. She started walking and the rest followed. Hickory was beside Luna. She smiled at him and he forced a smile back. It felt as if they had been walking for minuets! Because they were, when they came to a halt. What blocked their path, was the tigers. Their teeth gritted and their defense strong.

Hickory and Luna looked at each other. Both wondering how this would go. Luna, with her sword and shield, charged at the tigers along with the rest of her army. She lifted her sword. Before a tiger could attack, she lowered and its head went the opposite direction of the body from which it once belonged.

Another came to her, it was going to claw her but Luna swung her shield and struck the tiger., leaving quite a large opening in his neck. More tigers. No match for Luna. No more limbs either. They were cutting through the tiger's defenses like butter. And yes, the melted butter you dip your lobsters into. (Just couldn't help myself.)

But just because Luna's army was beating the complete crud out of the tigers, didn't mean they were not outnumbered. The tigers started to fight back. Luna and Hickory caught eyes with each other. Hickory had a smug smile on his face. Luna returned the smile. Hickory ran back and ordered the army to retreat. They all fell back.

Luna followed and, to her luck, so did the tigers. Hickory was in front of the fleet. A tiger pounced on Luna and brought her to the ground. Luckily, Hickory saw this. The perfect time to execute the plan. He skidded to a stop and the army turned around to fight again. As for Luna and the tiger, he lifted his paw for the kill until he looked up. They were coming back?

A stallion rose his sword and struck the tiger down. He helped Luna back up and before she could say anything, he ran back into the fight. Within the confusion, Luna and Hickory's army almost seemed to walk right through the tigers. As if in defeat, the tigers retreated. The amount of casualties was too much for the time being.

That night was no time to relax. They practiced and exercised and prepared for the next battle. Which would not be too far away. Luna fast forwarded to the next day. She didn't want to wait for the next battle. She just wanted to play. The army moved forward. The tigers were all set. They waiting for them. Before fighting began, the leader stepped up. He wanted a personal talk with Luna. Purxes was not interested in killing Luna. Not yet. He appreciated her strength and wanted it.

He so suavely told her his interest in her. How they could simply rule the moon together. With her strength and his integrity. They would be simply unstoppable. "No." Luna said sternly. "I'll never live a day on your side. I'll die before then."

Purxes wasn't very pleased with her conduct. He warned her that he could take both her power and her life ever so quickly. Luna just smirked. "Come and take it." she said.

He didn't answer. He angrily walked beak behind his lines. He ordered an attack. Tigers were charging at lightning speed. So simplistic. Just the same strategy as yesterday. Luna charged head first into the fight. A tiger stood in her way. Well, he did. Now he just fell into a small pile of dust. Nothing significant.

This fight ended much the same way. They pretended to retreat and turned back at the last second The difference that was made was that Hickory was somehow able to corner a large amount of tigers. They had no wall to back up against. It was just a deep hole they stood behind. Hundreds of feet below finally laid what ne could call ground. So far down.

Luna stepped forward. The tigers tied to fight back, but the stallions had better, longer weapons. All the tigers had were their paws. A few archers. Their arrow count was quite low, though. Luna, along with the rest of her deadly army pushed the tigers closer to the void that was behind them. Tigers fell down, down, down. Deeper and deeper. Didn't matter if they landed on their feet this time. The last few tigers fell to their imminent death. Luna stumbled and fell over, along with the tigers.

Hickory watched as Luna fell, deeper. She was laughing, though. She softly hit the ground. Leaving a slight imprint of herself on the tiger's remains. Once again, they forced the tigers to run.

Luna was a little tired out by the fighting and fun and decided to take a nap. Luna didn't quite know how dangerous that nap would be, though.

Now, this stallion didn't really have a name. He did, however, think Luna was bat crap insane. Just look at him. Let's see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eye. He has a I really wish Luna wasn't so stupid and insane bottom. There's a name we have for soldiers like these, but we'll just call him-Squidward.

Now, this Squidward didn't want to fight the tigers any longer. He knew he would die eventually. And death was not something he was looking forward to. He stood before Purxes. Squidward knew this area well for some reason. Probably for the convenience of the plot. And he knew that there was a long road along the battlefield. He told Purxes that he could use this road to his advantage. It was on high ground o they would have all the advantages. They could win with a single arrow shower.

Purxes sat back in his throne and smiled. He waved his paw in the air and requested a gift for the stallion who so boldly gave away such useful information. Two cougars walked up to Squidward. Purxes said they were now his. He could do with them as he pleased. Squidward led the cougars to a room where they could finally be alone. Purxes gathered all of his archers. Because tomorrow was going to be victorious.

The next day, or more like after Luna's nap, Purxes was alone. He was once again here to offer a spot next to his throne for Luna. He told Luna that there was no way out of this. It was either join him, or simply die. Luna didn't even think. "No."

As if on cue, archers came up on the sides of them and the ones over on the trail raised their bows. Once gain, Purxes asked the question he could only wish Luna would finally agree to. Luna looked up at the archers. Their arrows pinged at her and her army. Now, teaming up with Purxes seemed flattering. She stood silent as the archers aimed at her head. This was an offer she couldn't refuse... She refused.

The archers let loose. Time froze. The Arrows were suspended in the air. They soon just crumbled up and fell to the ground. Along with Purxes, the archers and the army. Sword play was fun indeed. Even though she had lost the battle. The Battle was still perfect in her eyes. They all were. And one thing Luna was fond of, was perfection.

5: Luna's March to Somewhere

Luna had been waiting a very long time for this. The idea just came to her for no particular reason yet, she felt it needed to be done. Now, this was going to be different from most of the things she has done on the moon. She wouldn't even call this a battle. It was more like insanity. Total war. That's what it was!

Her eyes opened as that same song that always played started again. 6:00. Funny. She could have sworn she set for 9:00 the night before. Could have been a dream though. But alas, she was awake and time is unforgiving. But now, now, her patience has brought her to what she was about to do today. She rushed into the bathroom and prettied herself up. Brushing her hair, mascara, all the girly stuff.

Hickory sat in the library (Yes, Luna had the audacity to build a library. Problem?) and was reading. And by reading, I mean wondering what the words would be in the books since they would fall apart by a single touch. The result of "reading" left a very messy and imperfect floor. Luna, instead of stomping the former wordless books, remade them the put them back in size order.

After fixing everything, having breakfast and sharing petty squabbles with a mute and deaf friend, Luna walked outside to a most beautiful sight. The buildings were all set, the railroad tracks were finished. All 280 miles of it. She looked at her army of 100,000 stallions in order, waiting to be brought to life.

What you are asking is: Are we supposed to believe that Luna did all of this? 100,000 ponies and 280 miles of buildings, all by herself? The answer is: Yes. Yes, you are supposed to believe that. The power of imagination! But, while it would be fun to senselessly destroy an innumerable amount of buildings, what would be even more fun is to have a resistance. Perfect! She went to work and finished at the exact same time.

The resistance was a lot smaller then her army. That was the point. Luna and her army were instantly going to wipe those guys off the face of the moon. Gladly. Muskets were handed out to the now animate stallions and dragged Hickory out of the house, still fruitlessly reading. They were about to go on a march. A march in which the moon has never seen before. A march of destruction and total fun.

One stallion was helping Luna aim a canon at a local hospital. Luna never actually fired a cannon before nor ever tried until now. This took numerous tries, however. The first time, she shot the stallion who was originally helping her. The second try was a dud and the third try she actually took off Hickory's leg. She instantly replaced it with a new one. Hickory was just happy it didn't hurt this time. Luna aimed on the fourth try and got a perfect shot. The building crumbled on top of hundreds of ponies. She was laughing as hard as possible.

The resistance started coming little by little. Of course, 100,00 ponies against 200, who the heck do you think is going to win? This time, the resistance was just ponies. Why? The writer- I mean- Luna got lazy. Writer? What are you talking about...? Anyway, Luna and her army instantly trumped the resistance in a second's notice. One of them went over to her and tried to put a gun to her head but accidentally landed on Luna's horn. So basically it was assisted suicide. Nothing wrong about that. Not at all.

Luna happily pranced up to a railroad track. Jovially smiling all over her big face. She turned to see a makeshift train rushing in to help the resistance. Well, not anymore! Luna thought happily. She used her magic to pry the iron rails off the track and tied them up like one would a bowtie. The train instantly derailed and launched into the air.

At the same time and relatively the same place, a mare was running from the destruction. The mare tripped over some debris and hit the ground. She turned her head only to realize that a flying train was about to hit her smack in the face. Luna smiled a cheesy smile and waived good riddance to the poor mare.

Luna walked up to a very large plantation and kicked down the doors. She and a few of her allies walked themselves to the cellar. Luna, being the only one with use for it, took all the food that was stored down there. She took all the jewelry and basically everything valuable to the owners. Of course, even though she was a princess and they were soulless piles of sand, Luna gave her thanks. They weren't very welcoming. Rude.

Luna was having the time of her life. What could possibly be more fun than destroying houses and killing ponies? Luna and the army were headed towards a factory town. For about an hour, they all had fun mindlessly destroying things and trashing the city until they ran into a militia. This militia contained about 2,000 ponies. But what about Luna's army? Oh, she only had 100,000 freaking ponies on her side. So who do you think is going to win?

A stallion charged at Luna with a musket in hoof. Luna shot him by accident. She was aiming at the guy next to him but he just kind of got in the way. But she did end up killing the guy she was originally going for after. A group of them all charged Luna. Panicking, she dove for cover behind a cannon. A loaded cannon. With nopony using it. Luna popped out of cover. She could have hit the enemies charging for her, but they were right next to a building. A very flimsy looking one at that. She used her magical magic to aim the cannon at the building. She pulled the string on the top like the stallion who she didn't kill showed her.

The next second, the building collapsed on top of them. Luna was trying to hold back a laugh. But... why? As quickly as she could, she slipped behind a building that wasn't yet obliterated. Oh, if only she could hear herself laughing right now. It must have taken her fifteen minuets to finally pull herself together because by the time she had, the battle was finished and her army was ready to move on.

More obliteration and pillaging ensued after that battle. Nothing too different. Luna and the stallions were getting close to the end. Though, Luna felt it went all too quick. But it was still worthwhile. The army was all prepared to capture a fort that would be vital to her success. There were, no doubt, enemies inside. Waiting to defeat her.

Moon rocks flew like cannon balls as the battle raged on and on. Luna shot and killed and repeated. In fact, she was able to find a sword. Boy was she happy to see a sword again. She pulled it over to her. An enemy was chasing one of her allies as he tried to reload his gun. Luna snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder.

What Luna wasn't expecting was him to draw his sword. The two of them clashed their weapons together. The stallion raised his sword and brought it down. Luna met it with her own at the last second. He backed up and took another swing. This one, a little lower, by the knees. Luna's sword stopped the other one from going any further. Luna outstretched a foreleg and her hoof met his face. The stallion hit the ground and Luna stood over him. She lowered the sword.

The army rushed into the fort and tore it apart. Enemies tried to fight back but they simply didn't stand a chance. Luna found a stallion and, with her sword, chopped him up into little bite-sized pieces. Another one she found she carved into a dragon-like shape. He looked like a miniature Discord. My, how she hated Discord. She chopped his head off and pranced away.

The rival army finally decided to throw their hoofs in the air and admit defeat. Luna and her army was able to take over the fort. They rejoiced with their victory. Luna took some champagne she took from one of the plantations and launched the cork. After the whole party concluded, she turned the stallion's back into piles of dust. She flattened the land in which she quite happily destroyed.

Hickory and Luna finally got home. Luna jumped on her bed and looked up a the calendar. She had been here for at least 300 years now. "Time flies fast when you are having fun." She said, drifting into a long sleep. Thinking what other ideas will fill her mind.

Hickory sat back in his chair down in the library. He put his quill down and smiled. His work was going to be of good use. He stood up and knocked all of the fake books on the floor. He rubbed his hoof along the wall until a small section started to crumble. In it was a pile of paper, bound together by a few straps of leather. He put another piece of paper in there, added it to the other papers and closed it up. Hickory then picked up the pile of crumbled books and put them back in size order. He smiled again as raised his ear. Luna was snoring loudly like always. A couple hundred more years... he thought.

Author's Note

I got my idea for this chapter in the most legit way conceivable... Gone With the Wind. And not the book. The twenty minuets of the movie I hardly paid attention to.

6: Timber

Luna picked up a musket and looked at it closely. She wanted to improve it. How? Well, reloading was long and cumbersome. Maybe she could improve that. Hickory stood next to Luna. If she needed anything, he would go and get it. "Moon rocks!" Luna requested. "Pebbles." Hickory got the pebbles.

Luna had made a little container. A magazine. And before you ask, No, not the ones you read. The ones you put bullets into. Luna popped eight little pebbles into the mag, loaded the gun and aimed at the ground. She made other moderation to multiple guns. This was just a prototype. She fired six shots into the ground. It worked.

A semi-automatic gun was good. But she wanted more. They weren't perfect yet. She wanted full-auto. She grabbed another musket and made more moderations to it. She finished, loaded the weapon and aimed back at the ground. She paused for a moment. She wasn't quite sure why.

She pulled the trigger and fired. Ten bullets blasted out rapidly. She liked it. She truly did. But she felt she could do more. But what? Luna put a hoof to her chin and thought hard. A smile slowly stretched across her face. She went to work.

When she finished, she had about 50 pounds of rapid firing, brute force sitting in front of her. Now it was perfect. This were about to get much more fun. Luna nudged Hickory who was sitting at the table doing what looked like nothing and got his attention. Luna tossed him one of the machine guns she had made. With the overwhelming force of 50 pounds pushing him backwards and his not bracing himself for such force instantly brought him t the ground.

This new weapon Luna had presented to him was he'd ever seen in his day. But if it was going to work, that was all that mattered. Hickory was planning of asking Luna of what reason she shoved this dangerous contraption that weighed about as much as he. But she was already out the door. Hickory tried to pull the gun outdoors. But at least he tried. He was dragging the weapon out but it was making a large trench in the middle of the floor. He got Luna to take care of things.

Hickory came out to a very intense sight. Well over a million stallions stood in front of him. All inanimate. And there stood Luna, the largest grin on her face. It looked out of place with the scene behind her. Hickory turned his head to see a lot of inanimate dogs for some reason. They looked like a breed of dog one would be used to seeing. German Shepherds. Hickory raised an eye brow at Luna and pointed at the millions of dog statues. She just shrugged.

The Shepherds dug themselves in large trenches. And for those who didn't, were manned at the machine guns Luna had made. Hickory gave her a very dissatisfied look. Luna had, in fact, every right to make those guns. She had some for them as well. Just not as much. "But hay," Luna said.

Hickory awaited an answer.

"..."

Luna had no idea how to back herself up on that. But that didn't matter. A dog popped up in front of them both. Luna whipped out her gun and shot him directly in the face. Dust flew out in all directions. She ducked back down behind her cover. Hickory just rolled his eyes and moved out.

The German Shepherds were very successful thanks to the 50 pound machine guns that Luna had given to them. Sometimes she just wondered if charity could be a bad thing. A dog ran up and tried to attack her, but Luna shot him in mid air. He exploded and that was that.

After the first day, they had only made it about half a mile. They are supposed to go at least 40 miles to defeat the dogs. Luna went out to find Hickory. For some odd reason, she couldn't find him. But this was no bother. She was sure that he was around. Doing things. Just things.

Weeks passed, no sign of Hickory still. Luna was becoming worried. But Hickory was strong. Right? Yeah! Like that time he led his outnumbered army against the space lobsters. They crushed them within minuets. Why did she have to worry. She didn't know. And she was.

Hickory put the books back on the shelf. He was almost done. Celestia would be so pound of him. She might even build that memorial she promised. He put the last page into the notebook. He had been here for nearly a thousand years. Luna's evacuation from the moon was around the corner. And by around the corner, it means about a hundred years. More or less. He had lost count somewhere around seven hundred years. But now was just time for him to finally join the afterlife with his comrades. How he had longed for that. Not long now, though.

Months had gone by and still no sign of Hickory. According to Luna at least. She had given up asking others. They would just shrug and return to the fight. As for the battle. It was moving slowly, but they were moving forward. Mortars came down and crashed into the ground. The good thing was they fell slowly so they could move away quickly.

A dog came up to Luna and she, no doubt, shot him. Luna just didn't feel up for this anymore. But she might as well finish what she started. She picked up her shotgun and blew away another one. Very anti-climactically. She just wanted to drop the gun and run out to find Hickory. She had a bad feeling he was gone though. Dead.

All of the sudden, Luna was brought to the ground with quite a lot of force. A dog had jumped her from behind. Luna pulled out her shotgun but he grabbed it and tossed it out of sight. He aimed at Luna with a smug look on his face. He pulled the trigger. The gun was jammed. He smacked his gun to try to fix it. Luna tried to slip out but the dog slapped her and shoved her back to the ground. That was- that was hostile. Luna was actually starting to become afraid. Afraid of her own creation.

A stallion quickly came out of the mix up. "Hickory?" Luna asked herself.

Indeed it was. The dog smacked his gun again. A smile slowly spread. Hickory pulled out his gun and cocked it. He aimed at the dog. He fired. The dog jumped out of they way of the bullet. He pulled his own trigger. The little specks of iron and whatever else moon rocks are made of penetrated Hickory. Dust would erupt from his chest after every hit. And finally, the last bullet tore a hole trough his head. Old Hickory's cadaver floated away slowly.

All Luna could do was sit there and watch. She didn't have any weapons to fight back. Rage overcame her. The eyes of Hickory became empty and blank. The dog was in the middle of reloading his gun. Luna shot up and rushed in front of that stupid dust mutt. Before the dog could react, Luna ripped the gun out of his paws. She started to vigorously beat him. She couldn't stop. Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

When the dog was nothing but a pile of dust again, she ran to Hickory. Everything seemed to slow down. Pain welled up in her heart. So unbearable. She just wanted to rip her own heart out just to make it stop. How could she be so stupid!? Just sit there as your only friend sacrificed himself for you!? She kept beside Hickory and picked up his body covered in holes.

"Hickory?" she asked, weakly.

He was motionless. Eyes looking out into oblivion and limbs hanging over the side. A crack formed on him. And he just crumbled. Just into a pile of dust. Her only friend. The only pony who ever cared for her on this damned moon. She just let him die!? She screamed in pain. But you know what they say. Nopony can hear you scream in space.

She punched the ground and pulled her hair. She kicked the dust up and fell back down. Her only friend. And she let him die? What kind of pony was she? She lit her horn and ended the battle. There was no point in pressing on. The only thing that lay in front of her was the remains of a friend she betrayed.

She sat there for hours. She tried to remake Hickory but he just wasn't the same when she would. She kept doing it until she just couldn't anymore. She tried on last time. But it wouldn't work. And all that sat there was a pile of dust. She picked up whatever dignity she could muster and shambled home. Alone again. Just what she deserved.

Author's Note

Couldn't find any pony puns for German. Sad face.

7: The Notebook

Once again, the same song. Playing at the same time. 6:00. Luna just lied there, ignoring the order of the alarm clock to get up. She had nothing planed for today. She didn't feel like doing anything. The song ended. And Luna still lay in bed. She stayed like that for about fifteen more minuets and she finally got up.

She shambled down the stairs and into the kitchen. There, she sifted through the refrigerator. Nothing too interesting. She could have eggs. She plucked one out of the fridge. She stared at it for a second. Not too sure why, though. And she popped the egg in her mouth. The uncooked egg tasted fairly good. Not perfect, but good. She ate another. Followed by three more until her stomach was content.

She stood in the kitchen and remembered the taste of the eggs. Not too bad. Another excuse for her sister to call her weird. It had been quite a while after Hickory's death. But without him, things were just bland. She didn't feel like doing anything anymore and she had already given up on remaking him. But things were getting a little better. Sleep no longer eluded her. But it wasn't easy either.

She wandered around her house a little bit. Past the bathroom, past the foyer, past the entertainment room. The entertainment room was a trophy of pure irony. It stuck out like soar hoof. It was void of anything that could possibly be fun or entertaining and was, in fact, an actual void. A deep dark gaping hole in the middle of everything. For no reason either. It was still there and, alas, she didn't quite know why. But when the day comes when she goes back to Equestria she'll most likely forget all about that room.

She walked around a little more. She passed pretty much everything in the house. Except, of course, the library. Trashed and ruined, and Luna didn't have the decency nor the dignity to fix it up. The walls still stood and the ceiling was there. The bookshelves, however, were just mere piles of dust. It looked crappy. Like, really crappy. But she had nothing else to do. Might as well fix the place up.

She fixed the bookshelves up and put back the fake books, no longer caring about the order they were in. It didn't matter anymore. The went to the last one and erected the bookshelf, but stopped there. There, in a little hole in the wall, sat a book. A real book. It was, no doubt, made very poorly. All pages bound by a single strap of leather. But what was this book doing here. Last time she checked, Luna didn't find any actual books. Then again, she never actually checked for that.

She flipped through a few pages, skimming through them. It wasn't just a book. It was a journal. It certainly wasn't Luna's. But, if not hers, then who's? It couldn't be... Hickory's... could it? I mean, not to be rude, but friend or not, he was still just a pile of dust. She found a page and started to read it.

Today was certainly a bit... different. The Princess made these lobsters and told them to attack us. Why? I haven't a clue. We found a hill in which the battle would ensue. She made sure the we specifically had close to no ammunition. I went up to her and tried to ask what she was thinking, but she just said she had an idea. I had a feeling she might have been lying.

"Huh," Luna said to herself. "I guess I didn't fool anypony after all." She kept reading.

When The Princess finally got an idea, it worked fairly well. We fought back at the lobsters and forced a retreat twice. The third time, the lobsters broke through. I had to save the Princess and give up ammunition to her in which she wasted. We ended up losing the battle. But for some reason, she was still happy. It made me wonder, has she learned to forgive herself?

Now what did that mean? Well, actually, she has been on the moon for a thousand years with now way to escape. But still, she learned her lesson! She knew that what she did was wrong.

She flipped through a couple more pages. Most of them just about the boring days where nothing happened. Then she found a passage she liked.

Now for some reason, The princess has put me in charge of the attack. Who knows, maybe she might have recognized me.

Recognized? The question beat her.

This fight didn't last long. I just did my best to end it quickly. I did a good job. It lasted thirty minuets. I saw The princess running around with swords, slicing the lobsters in half. After her little 'playtime' she had a crazy look in her eyes. It almost scared me. But I think I can handle myself. Other than this, the princess seemed to quite nice and loose.

Luna started to wonder, did hickory dislike the battles? He seemed to act like it. She started flipping through and found the entry for the next battle.

That look in her eyes was nothing short of insanity. She even dropped the whole lobster thing and instead, put in tigers! What was she thinking? Okay, I have gotten a liking in princess Luna, but when it comes to sanity, the two contradict! Just cutting up the poor things like stake. Now I know why she sent mehere...

What?! She?! Who's sh- Wait... Could it be... She found the next page she was looking for.

Luna, even though she is somewhat nice, she did something which seemed very inhumane. She wasn't just killing piles of dust trying to kill her, she was killing piles of dust that never wronged her. I could hardly fathom what she was thinking. And to say it was fun? I mean, yes, it is a game, but even a game can be taken too far. And the fact that she was that last living thing I've seen in the last life and now this one? If only I could tear. But I'm just a pile of dust.

Luan couldn't even believe what she was reading. She had to read it again just to try to believe it. And what scared her even more? There was one last page to look for. She finally found it. She didn't want to read it. But she felt she had to.

There is only one conclusion I can make here: Princess Luna is a machine. Heartless, careless. Nearly two miles away insanity reigns. A few days ago she made this machine. A gun. But so much worse. Now you pull the trigger and multiple bullets fly out. An instant kill. I doubt when I'm near her, but I'm doing the right thing. What I need to do now is a test. To see if this machine has a heart. Celestia sent me here just for that.

Celestia. Luna found herself not being surprised. But she had a heart... didn't she?

I know what I should do. I've been here long enough for her to think we've grown a bond. If I die will Luna cry? Or will she shrug it off like the rest? When I die, I'll make sure she finds this book. I'll make sure she reads every page and I'll make sure she regrets making me re-live hell! One day she will know this: You take a fighter out of combat, you cannot put him back.

Luna put the book on the floor. So that was it? The entire time she was here, she was just some monster to who she thought was a friend? So that means that the entire time she thought she had learned her lesson, she really didn't? She was just some mad mare? It was now that she actually realized what was going on. She thought the lesson to learn was not to take over Equestria. But really it was she was insane and nopony actually liked her?

But there was one last page. This was different from the rest. This time, it was a letter.

-Princess Luna,
If you have not read the book in which this letter is enclosed, I intend you to. If you have, here are answers that you might want revealed. It was indeed your sister, Princess Celestia who sent me here. She told me to find any way possible to get in touch with you but not directly. To try and teach you your lesson without doing it altogether. What I had decided to do was observe your actions. When I saw you with the stallion you built, I figured this would be a good way to do this.

Okay, so Luna could tell that Celestia set this whole thing up. But how did Hickory do whatever he did?

What you are probably wondering is how I was able to do this. The answer may be one you would regret.

Regret? How would she regret it? Then a thought came to her. It was a scary thought.

My real name was not Old Hickory, as you have named me. Instead it was Hail Storm. I was a war General. And you, Princess Luna the first of Equestria, are my killer.

... Luna didn't know what to say. What to think except that time she last saw Hail. On the ground, face down in the mud. There was a hole in his chest as well.

During your reign, you ran me through. But Celestia asked of me one last favor. I'm quite sure I've already stated that. Through my time I spent with you. I had concluded that you were corrupt. But I thought I might be able to help you. So here it is. You are not insane. You are just, in all simplicity, jealous. Although many don't like to admit it, that is the answer. I hope you take this all in. There is one last thing that you should know. Another lesson. But I have faith in you. I feel you could find it out yourself.

- Hail "Old Hickory" Storm

Luna sat back. Trying to think about what that last lesson could possibly be. The one she was intended to find out for herself. Then she got an idea. She re-read the passages. This time more open-mindedly.

Hickory, or Hail, didn't like what Luna was doing. He thought she was corrupt and maybe even evil in some cases. What Luna had been doing herself was...

"Making havoc..." She said to herself.

That was it! The entire time she was on the moon, the only thing she was looking forward to was just slaughtering those dust stallions. She didn't mind killing them because, to her, they didn't have much value. But when Hickory died, she just lost all hope. Just gave up on everything.

What she was supposed to learn was that everything has value. From a small pebble to the biggest gem in the world. She can't just act like things don't have a purpose. She didn't think that killing the dust stallions didn't matter. But when it came to Hickory, he was completely disgusted. He couldn't even call Luna humane.

Then Luna realized another thing. Those thousand years she had been on the moon. She really did need them. She thought she had learned her lesson but in all reality, it would take her a hundred decades to realize just how wrong she was.

Luna almost started to break a smile about it. In fact, she did. As annoying Celestia is, or, was, she was pretty damn smart.

8: Loss of Morals

Luna could hardly wait. She was jumping back and forth and acting very silly overall. Why? Well, after a millennia on this barren wasteland, she was finally going home. Nothing in existence could possibly ruin this moment. The radio played the same song and she danced to the beat and swayed and laughed and hopped and jumped.

She slid down the stairs and ran into the kitchen. She got a bunch of raw eggs and ate them. She stopped when she realized something. Shouldn't she be worrying about salmonella? The last thing she wanted was to see her sister for the first time and she was barfing all over the place. Oh, no matter. She'll simply poof it away with her magic.

She looked at the time. 6:30 A.M. What was she going to do? If she was correct, she would be going back at 6:30 P.M. That was around the same time she first landed on the moon. She put a hoof to her chin. There was quite little to do. She had twelve hours to do absolutely nothing. Might as well do something.

She walked to the entertainment room. The void. Inside existed no light whatsoever. This gave Luna an idea. Now, considering the fact that light could not enter nor escape this void, what would it look like if she dropped something in there. She fetched an egg from the kitchen. She tossed it in.

The egg started to slow down as it got closer and soon enough, completely stopped right next to it. Then, for some reason, the egg started to turn a dark red. Luna would have reached for this egg but she was paranoid of being sucked in. And suddenly, the egg gradually disappeared. No longer was there an egg. Huh, so that's what happens when you put an egg in a black hole.

While it was interesting to learn something new, it only took up five minutes of her day. If you haven't guessed, that's not too much. Was there anything she could do that didn't end in complete insanity? She paced back and forth. Thinking. Hopscotch? Nah. What abo~ut, a snowstallion?

Luna walked outside and found a good place to start. But before she started, she thought she saw something in the distance. As she walked closer to it, it became more clear. It was a flag! It was a white flag. It looked like it had a little blue on it, but she couldn't be too sure. It was certainly interesting, but she just ignored it. It wasn't anything too important. What was important was making that snowstallion.

She rolled up two balls of moon dust, made sure they were horizontal. She made a smaller ball and put it on top. She went to work on the legs. Carving them the way she always would. Then the neck. Then the face. The eyes, the ears, the muzzle and the mouth. She looked at the finished sculpture. She still had it. Even though she knew she still had it.

It looked good. Not too shabby. It stood there silent and listless. Much like everything else on the moon except this was made by an intelligent being. It looked a lot like Hickory, or, whatever his real name was. Heal, er, something? Luna didn't mind. She'll find out later. Maybe at least.

This reminded her of that lesson she learned. It was a good lesson. And it was true. Life does have meaning. If only she knew this before.

... Wait a minute. Couldn't have Celestial just, like, told her that face to face? It's not like she needed to stay a millennia on the moon to learn it. I mean, yes, it is an important lesson, but, if Luna and Celestia just had a little meeting after the whole thing, she could have simply told her this.

Heh... She- she could have just said Luna was jealous and stuff. That it was okay to be that way. I mean just as long as she told her not to do it again. War was bad anyways... right?

Yeah! Yeah, war was bad! Of course it was. I mean, it happens a lot. But just to keep this from happening again, Celestia could have just told her...

She could have just said that Life was valuable, right?

Bu~t, heh, funny thing- she- she didn't...

She didn't...

She could have... but she didn't.

I mean, she just could have said it. Right- right then and there.

But she didn't

A- and here was Luna, wasting her life here. A full thousand years. N-not seconds. Not days. Not weeks. Years...

A thousand years wasn't very- heh, wasn't very sparing of her either.

Luna stood there. Her eye twitching. A thousand years? A thousand years for something that could have been taken care of in mere minutes?! And here she was, wasting her life? Just doing absolutely Nothing?!

Now, in Equestria they say, that Luna' s heart shrunk three sizes that day. And right then, pure, unadulterated rage surged through Luna. Instead of traumatizing her, Celestia could have told her! Just said it right out loud so she could hear crystal clearly.

But NO! She just- she just had to do this! What was she thinking?! Luna swore that when she got to Equestria, ho boy, Celestia was in for a big surprise! And then she just swore in general.

That very same moment, Luna took on quite a different form. Her entire body changed. She even grew armor for some reason. And soon Luna, well, she wasn't quite Luna anymore, was she? Instead, there, in Luna's place, stood a horrific, evil monster. Did this monster have a name? Indeed it did. It was commonly known as... Nightmare Moon. (Dun dun Dun!)

She raised into the air slowly. She was screaming painfully. She had wasted her life! Celestia was going to pay for those thousand years.

Nightmare's wings stretched out to their full extent and she screamed into the sky, "That Bit-"

She never finished what she was going to say. Because she disappeared. Now, she was on her way home. And she thinking one thing. Destroy Celestia.

Author's Note

That explains things.