My bed is and has always been comfortable. I am grateful for that and so is my back and neck. Nopony wants to suffer in their own bed. This bed has been mine for about a year or so now, I don't remember; I lost count long ago. All I care is that is has been comfortable the whole way, and that pleases me.
The room is another story. The walls are a hideous, dull gray with no life in them. They are slightly complimented by the wooden linings on the floor, which are painted white. There isn't much to do in the room either. Not a single thing in it was overly entertaining, even the books that were at my bedside. I'm not much of a reading pony anyways, so it isn't too much a bother. Anyways, with the lack of pleasure, I find myself in the bed most of the time.
The room is also rather small. There's the bed, a couple shelves, a clock, and windows. There is a bathroom connected, but I don't use it much, I haven't been eating well lately.
I don't blame my appetite, because I've been able to shovel food into my mouth since I was a filly. In truth, there is something that catches my thoughts that distracts me very easily. One day, while laying down and staring out the window in my room, I spotted a most peculiar creature. A raven. It had perched itself on a tree just outside, and it managed to catch my sight. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, then it flew off.
I haven't seen a raven since.
At the time I had a visitor too. He noticed that I was staring at something out my window and they too looked. He asked me what I was looking at. I said "the most interesting creature I had ever seen." He said they didn't see anything. I tried to point out the pitch black animal to my visitor, but no matter how hard I tried, he still didn't see the raven. I became angry and yelled at him. He left, then came back with someone else. I don't remember much after that. I think I fell asleep.
I think my anger disturbed the raven somehow, because as soon as I got angry is when it flew away. This made me more angry, since the beautiful creature was now gone. I've since then promised myself to not be openly angry in hopes the raven would return. So far my efforts have been in vain.
I only get visitors from time to time. It's kind of sad if you think about it, but it doesn't bother me honestly; I like the peace. However, when I'm alone, the raven always finds its way back into my mind. Such a curious thing...
--
I had another visitor today, and my, was she nice. She talked to me, not about the usual stuff, but about my life and other bits to have small talk. Eventually, I became curious, and I threw the conversation for an unexpected turn.
I asked her "Did you see a raven today?"
She responded "No, I haven't dear."
So I told her "Well, if you do, tell him I'm waiting anxiously."
She hasn't visited me since that day. In fact, I don't think she is anywhere near anymore. Something about "quitting."
--
I find it funny that every visitor I get is wearing a funny coat or jacket. White seems to be the choice color these days, I have no idea why. It does go with anything I suppose, but it's sickening seeing nothing but white clothes. Why can't there be some other color with different feelings to it? White is too bland for me; it has no ideas in it. Its void of heart and soul.
Now black, that's different.
Black has a sense of mystery and darkness about it. I find that so interesting. Maybe that's why I'm fascinated with that raven so much.
I'm still anxiously waiting for him.
--
I've asked about the raven maybe a hundred times or so now. My visitors are beginning to think I may be sick in my head, which disappoints me. I don't know why they find my question strange. Have they never met the raven?
I so hope he returns, so that I may prove my visitors wrong. Oh, how I would love that! To see the looks on their faces when they see I was right all along!
I had thought to give up hope, but now I shall wait anxiously even longer for the raven to return.
--
The sun is quite beautiful today, it shines on my blue skin and fills me with warmth. Don't you just love those sort of days when the sun can fill you like that? It makes you feel loved. What a great feeling!
I don't know if anypony loves me. My visitors say they care, but they never mention the word "love." I can't remember if I ever was loved, my memory has been terrible for so long now. It's unfortunate. I wish things were different. I wish everything was different sometimes...well, except for the raven. I've been waiting months now, but I feel that he will return soon.
--
Today the most interesting visitor I have ever had came. He was wearing a business suit that had a black background with thin, vertical white stripes all about it. He said he was from Fillydelphia and that he was inspecting my room. I honestly have no idea why. Even though the room was bland, except for the bed, there really was nothing severely wrong with it.
Anyways, he only stayed a few minutes, but before he left, I asked him if he had seen a raven today. He said no. I told him if he did, tell him I'm waiting anxiously.
--
I've felt very tired recently and haven't left my bed in some time. My most recent visitors have looked worried, but they don't tell me why. I'm sure all I need is rest.
The raven still hasn't shown up. I hope he doesn't if I fall asleep. I wish to see him again.
--
The raven! The raven! He has returned at last! He looks different this time though. His eyes glow red and his head is a shiny white and looks quite hard. One of his wings is missing, which is sad to see. He also has some stringy stuff hanging from his stomach. It too looks red.
Despite his new and rather interesting appearance, he and I had locked eyes once again. This time, however, I feel strange. My vision is becoming blinding, like a light is being thrust into my face. I cannot locate the source of this light though! It is frustrating! In fact, it's angering me!
No, no! The raven is flying away now! Damn my fits of anger! Now there is beeping noise somewhere in the background. Its getting faster and faster, and it's frightening me! I feel strange inside too, and the blinding light is only getting brighter and brighter! This is all too stressful!
...Strange, now I feel nothing.
So this is what it feels like to be dead.
