Desperate House Ponies

by applejackrainbowdashpinkie4ever

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Spike
Length: 3151

Ponies,donkeys,pegasi,unicorns under pressure!

Uhhh... don't know wut to say about this one. uh... hope u enjoy it? :3

Published 2012-03-26 22:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-26 22:54:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Princess Luna watches everything in from he position in the Canterlot Palace. She has secrect CCTV cameras everywhere. Every pony thinks she's a pervert. She claims she is watching to see if the post pony is coming but everypony knows she is really spying on what everypony else is doing.

Nopony knows how long Princess Luna has been around. They know that she misses nothing, and has a tiara for every occasion.

Princess Luna has an opinion about everyone and is not afraid to share it...

Despite what Princess Luna thinks, Princess Celestia is REALLY the princess of Equestria. She has been around forever and has seen it all. Rumor has it she was once a homeless pony, but nopony ever dares to ask her about her past...

Nowadays all Princess Celestia does is send letters eat or work.

(Needles to say Princess Luna thinks she's just plain boring.)

Granny Smith has been around the block many hundreds of times. Now she's just tired, because after all of her children who ran away, or somehow just disappeared, the last one refuses to clean up. So Granny Smith is left constantly to tidy up after her daughter Applebloom and her friends, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo.

On the other hand Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle think life is grand. They go to every party, every event, anywhere a group of friends are getting together. They are out late every night. (Lucky for them, they can sleep in all day.)

Tonight the girls have a special mission:
there's a wedding in PonyVille tomorrow, and they don't have dates. What better place to look for some cuties than at the hottest club down the street? They borrowed an apple chapstick from Applebloom's poor grandmother and decked themselves out for the scene.

They've even cleaned up Scootaloo's feathers.

Cranky is the Alpha Donkey in PonyVille. He considers himself mayor of Ponyville, (of course it wasn't true) even though the ponies outnumber donkeys in the place. He has a wife called Matilda. He's seen it all, and sniffed it all. He can tell where you've been, who you've been with, and what you've eaten.

He is also quite fond of Princess Luna, although he's never told her.

Vinyl Scratch used to be the hot young thing on the block. But too many babies have taken their toll on her. She is expecting another baby and day now. Unfortunately it means she will be too big to fit into her sassy outfit for the PonyVille wedding. So instead Vinyl will probably spend the day tomorrow doing all the things that make her smile: she'll listen to her fav records, watch T.V, and sing. Vinyl daydreams about the time when she could put her hooves up and enjoy a good long nap or two.

Rainbow Dash is young, sweet and fit. She's still very new to the being smart thing. She does all these daring tricks and sometimes she ends up getting hurt but that won't stop her! She has no idea whats in store for her.

All she knows is that she's crazy in love.

With Soarin.

She disguises herself as a cloud to follow him around all day.

So what if he's a WonderBolt and she wasn't?

She thinks its all very romantic.

Princess Luna's thoughts: And we all know how THAT turned out!

Soarin thinks he's very cool. And he is!

Princess Luna's thoughts: He is an idiot.

Pinkiepie, Bon bon and Lyra are best friends, but they don't hang out with Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo and Applebloom. The've been in PonyVille for so long that everypony else assumes they live around somewhere.

Gilda, the griffon, on the other hand, could care less how other ponies behave. Despite her fussy appearance, she is quite fond of this thing called "punking" the other ponies. She will leave stinky fish in the Cranky's food, and jumping on unexpecting ponies or fillies as they cross her yard.

Princess Luna's thoughts: A little less time looking at your muscles in the mirror and be kind! That would be much appreciated by those of us who walk around here!

One of Gilda's fav targets is Fluttershy. Nopony remembers Fluttershy's original name, because for as long as anyone can remember, she's been skittish. She jumps at the slightest noise or light or question or scream. She's been known to jump sideways, sometimes face-first into a wall.

None of the other ponies has ever tried to calm Fluttershy down. They just accept that she is high-strung and move on. Gilda takes advantage of this, but the other ponies in PonyVille are content to let Fluttershy be.

Of course, if anyone asked her about it, Fluttershy would say she's afraid because of her pet that lives in her house. Angel's always in the same place, with the same angry look on his face.

She doesn't know why he does it.

There's just something creepy about a pet that doesn't seem to get any older, she thinks.

And it doesn't seem to mind being dusted, either...

Fluttershy has gone to see Doctor Whooves, but she's never told the kindly older pony about the creepy pet in her house.

At first Doctor Whooves suggested Fluttershy get some therapy. But after she screamed at the therapist too many times, the therapist sent her back to Doctor Whooves to get some sedatives.

Doctor Whooves prescribed many, many pills to calm Fluttershy down. In an effort to be "A Better Pony," as Doctor Whooves encourages her to be, Fluttershy accepts the pills.

But she never wants to relax when she's at home-because the evil glare of Angel seems to follow her everywhere in the room-so she just buries the pills in her backyard.

Princess Luna thinks all the young fillies on the block should be more productive members of their society. After all, ponies have a long tradition of being noble, regal and aloof.

"We're the alpha-donkeys of the domesticated set," she'll tell anyone who listens.

But since none of the other ponies can understand how a pony can also be a donkey, they tend to pat her on the head and go about their buisness of sleeping, eating, and cleaning themselves.

Princess Luna can't believe what some ponies can let their therapists do to them.

Then there's Twilightsparkle.

Twilight likes to take naps.

A lot.

The other in Twilight's library is Spike. He likes to take naps too, just not as many times as Twilight.

He can usally be found curled up somewhere small and confined, like a drawer, or just in his bed.

The only time Spike isn't sleeping in a tight spot is when he goes to Sugar Cube Corner to eat.

The boys next door are quite rough and tumble. Braeburn has been partying quite a bit with some cider made by his bros, and now he is trying to drink a lot of water so he can act normal from his hangover. He does not want to go to the wedding tomorrow feeling sick.

So Braeburn creeps around very quietly, hoping he can just drink a lot of water and sleep it off.

Braeburn's brothers, Flim and Flam, also had a lot of cider. For a while they fought each other and occacionally fought someone else, but then Flim and Flam settle down in the middle of the sidewalk to look at the sky...

For a very long time...

The boys talk about Applebloom, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, and wether or not the friends are going to the wedding.

"The party of the month?" Flim asks. "Of course they'll be there!"

"Hmmm... I don't know..." Flam says. "Sometimes those girls act like we're just stallions, and they won't come near us."

"Hey, I like a good talk at the moon as much as the next pony," Flim admits. "But that doesn't make me some homeless guy."

"True," Flam says, already forgettting what they were talking about as he looks at the stars.

"Look!" he exclaims. "They go in and out!"

Flim watches his brother stretch out his legs and flick his hair out of his face. He is pretty sure they did that naturally without knowing, but he isn't thinking too clearly.

He is hungry.

Very hungry.

Right now very hungry.

"Hey, let's get some food!" he says.

"Munchies!" Flam is always looking for food. Flim nudges his brother up and the two ponies set off for the Grub Grab-n-go.

It's very early on the morning of the wedding, and Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetiebelle are trying to creep back into their house before their mothers sees them. They don't remember much about the club, or if they lined up dates for the wedding.

All the friends know is that they haven't got the same hair colour that they had last night. If their mothers find out, the girls will have to listen to another lecture of how she used to run around with a bunch stallions, and now you should see how they are like now! Well all I have to say is that they aren't very succsessful right now. Their hearts had been broken too many times. Granny Smith and the others don't want that to happen to their youngest daughters. She wants them to be debutantes or models or some other productive member of the society.

Instead they're afraid the girls might end up with a string of broken engagements, a dependency on drugs, and maybe a reality show on the Hub.

The girls have head this all before.

They just roll their eyes.

Princess Luna's thoughts: Those girls will come to a bad end, mark my words!

Chapter 2

Applejack hangs out int the garden during the day, digging holes to plant her new seeds and harvests the other foods in the orchard and her garden.

She feels very in tune with Nature. She thinks she was a gardener or snail in a previous life.

Princess Luna's thoughts: She's turned into such a crunchy granola type. She thinks she reincarnated into some sort of exotic plant. I think it's the new cupcakes she's been eating at sugar cube corner...

Big Macintosh is Cranky Doodle's oldest friend. They've known each other for at least 3 years, though it feels like 21.

Whatever Cranky needs done, Big Mac does it. He helps Cranky keep peace in PonyVille. If a pony/griffon/donkey/pegasus/unicorn from another neighborhood tries to litter ot fire hydrant in PonyVille, he will chase them away, and cover up the crime. And if Big Mac has nothing to do for Cranky, he spends his time reading the news paper and watching the Hub on T.V.

Today Big Mac is worried about some homeless ponies crashing the big wedding. He's pretty sure they come over to PonyVille during the day, but Cranky asks him to keep an eye out just in case, so Big Mac put on his bravest smile and goes on patrol.

Rainbow is surprised that Doctor Whooves wants her. Apparently this is going to be a "big day" for her. She is very excited. She doesn't know what it means to her, but she is sure it will be a life-altering experience.

Princess Luna's thoughts: Oh something will be altered that's for sure! Every pony has to get their teeth drilled at some point!

Twilight has turned over.

Spike is always impressed by his owner's ability to follow the sun across the couch without ever appearing to wake up.

Rarity is an indoor pony who loves fasion. She doesn't go out in the yard or even on the front porch. (She has heared Doctor Whooves say that fleas can jump three stories high!)

She is content to sit and make dresses and clothes for her boutique. She would rather sit and have the window open and breathe the fresh air.

This means she doesn't have to wear some weird ugly cone thingy.

She is very please by this and knows if she ever entered a beauty contest of any sort, she would be sure to win first place. And maybe a smore.

Mmmmm....

Rarity is very good at covering up her drool by using her napkin.

A lot.

Spike loves Rarity. When he isn't sleeping or eating, he watches her up in her boutique while she makes dresses.

He thinks she is very pretty. And that she must have a tragic past-or pasts-to stay inside all the time.

Spike is going to sugar cube corner today to have his favourite cupcake-the sapphire cupcake, although he will miss the wedding, he is happy to think he might buy a cupcake for Rarity.

Spike isn't too sure how he'll get two sapphire cupcakes-they're very expensive- but maybe he could save his for Rarity.

Princess Luna's thoughts: I'm very sure that if he eats too mcuh he will burst...

Granny Smith meets with Vinyl Scratch at the spa. They plan to get a massage even though granny smith wants plastic surgery so she can look young for the wedding.

It's the little things that makes a pony feel special, Granny Smith tells herself.

Granny Smith tells Vinyl that Princess Luna has been spying on her again. The old biddy actually told Granny Smith she was a bad carer for letting her granddaughter run all over the alleys at night. Vinyl tells Granny Smith not to have a fit over it. She is sure that Princess Luna will be distracted by something else before she can spread the gossip.

Zecora hears about Granny Smith's distress when Vinyl stops by after her trip to the spa.

"I assire you," she tells Vinyl, "Princess Luna is merely keeping an eye on uh..... Oh I can't rhyme all the time, she is merely keeping an eye on things around here. In a way, she is a town watch unto herself. Nothing happens here she doesn't know about. Really, it keeps us all safe."

Clearly Zecora isn't too worried about the Princess Luna.

Rarity is looking out her window, as usual, breathing in the crisp air. She sees Fluttershy creeping around her house, acting very secretive. Rarity wonders what Fluttershy is up to, but she can't follow the skittish little pony, because that would involve going Outside.

Princess Luna is looking at the T.V. showing what ponies are doing as usual. She notices Fluttershy go into the garden and start digging. Princess Luna shakes her head. Fluttershy must be burying another one of the pills.

Poor Fluttershy, Princess Luna thinks, Angel is horrible to her and she should tell Doctor Whooves.

Boy, Princess Luna thinks, settling back down to check if the mail pony is coming, and thinking about how tasty Princess Celestia's special dinners must be. I wonder just how many pills Fluttershy has buried by now....

Derpy hooves is very pretty but she has crossed eyes because of a little error in her brain occured. But never the less everyone loves her. She is getting married to Doctor Whooves . She is going to get a wedding dress while Doctor Whooves gets a ring.

Vinyl has spent the morning watching the T.V. She was watching a weird program called 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding'. She found it odd but watched it just to laugh at how stupid it was. Suddenly her stomache churned.
AJ has been poking around in her garden, trying to find the perfect apples for her applepie for the wedding. She does not want to go empty hooved.

"Oh god...." She dialed 999 and an ambulance soon arrived in minutes and the picked her up.

Her babies were coming....

There's a fresh hole in ther garden. Applejack is sure she has identified every hole several times, so this one is new, and more important, not hers.

She sticks her nose in the hole, but it is empty. Hmmmm, she wonders. What was in here? She thinks about all of the things she has burried recently, like seeds, but she realizes she didn't bury anything here. So what was in this little hole?

AJ sees another new pile of dirt further down the garden and goes to investigate.

Matilda was at the spa getting her monthly appointment. Now she has gone up and down the streets of PonyVille to be sure everyone will be at the wedding. There is only one thing she can't find. A special alicorn. Princess Celestia. This is very odd, since everypony knows that Princess Celestia is always on her special cushion, in front of the table, working.

Cranky and Big Macintosh start to question everypony about where they are before the wedding and if anypony had seen Princess Celestia the wavy-maned alicorn.

But everyone has an alibi:

Rainbow Dash is at the hospital from one of the tricks she did during a show that went wrong.
Twilightsparkle still is sleeping.
Spike is still eating.
Rarity still hasn't left her boutique.
Vinyl is also at hospital, having babies.
Applebloom, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo are still looking for dates.
Granny Smith is still having her plastic surgery done.
Derpy is still finding a dress.
Doctor Whooves is still finding a ring.

"What about those three friends Bon Bon, Lyra and Pinkiepie?" Princess Luna asks. She tells them all that she was visiting Princess Celestia this morning to talk about how fattening her special dinners might be, and when Luna came out she thought she saw Bon Bon, Lyra and Pinkie slinking away in the garden.

No pony has seen AJ either.

Soarin volunteers to go look for the friends, while Big Mac searches for AJ.

The brothers Flim, Flam and Braeburn are still a bit out of it, and don't remember who Princess Celestia is.

Princess Luna's thoughts: I'm shocked-----shocked----- that anypony does not know who Princess Celestia was. Is I mean is....

Soarin finds the three friends Pinkie, Lyra and Bon Bon. Turns out they have been on an outing in Appleloosa and were nowhere near Canterlot or PonyVille. Soarin figures that these three earth ponies are inoccent.

I am a very smart pegasus, he thinks.

Princess Luna's thoughts: Soarin, here's a quarter. Buy a clue.

Big Mac finds AJ, and she is very upset. She needs to talk to Cranky right now.

She found Princess Celestia....

Buried in her garden.

Princess Celestia is dead.

Cranky gets Rainbow to fly around Equestria to tell everypony. All of them are very sad about this.

"W.. W.. What happened to her?" Fluttershy asks, looking around nervously.

Cranky explains that Princess Celestia was very old. She probably just died in her sleep.

Gilda tells everyone she heard the guards they found Princess Celestia face down in her dinner.

Now the ponies are very curious about this turn of events.

Before she goes back to her palace, Princess Luna reminds them what happends to ponies who get too curious.

So they all scamper off.

Everyone agrees, though, that Princess Luna looks very nice in her new crown.