Fallout Equestria: Glitch In the System
Chapter 1 - The Shitstorm Begins
Fallout Equestria: Glitch In the System
Chapter 1 - The Shitstorm Begins
“All work and no play makes a jack a dull ass.”
Boring! That’s how I would describe my life back then. Day in, day out, nothing to do! No fun! I mean, sure, I got to play with bombs and shit, but I never got to use them for fun! Just rocks. Ugh. Sometimes a building, but still…
Anyway! I was sitting around in my room, poking at that doll of mine… think it was named after a flower or something? Butter…Bowl? Plate? Something like that. Not important. That’s what I thought was fun. Playing around with dollies and brushing my mane and doing hooficures. Well, I assumed that last one would be fun! Hadn’t ever actually done it...
My room was pretty sweet, though. It had a nice comfy bed with this blanket my mom found that was soft as a feather and smooth as velvet. I miss that blanket. My pillow had actual, real feathers in it, too. Not the crappy dried out grass and stuff that most of the rest of the town used. Nope! Dad wasn’t big on luxuries, but that was one he let us have.
Enough exposition, though! You came for a story, not to hear me ramble on about pillows and blankets. So I was poking at that… Cup! Buttercup. That was what it was called, Giddyup Buttercup! I was poking at her and thinking I should try and paint her another color. She was getting kind of faded and all, but hooves wrapping around my neck from behind put an end to that train of thought!
Don’t worry. Nopony was choking me.
“Gah! Mom!” I jumped when she grabbed me. “Scared me!” I nuzzled her butter yellow fetlock right above that silly pip-thingy as she laughed at me and wrapped her wings around my middle.
“Off in la-la land again, huh?” Her forelegs tightened around me and I leaned into her hug as she continued, “Well, wake up, Glitch. Almost time for dinner. You finish that charge for the morning?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. Need to cap it off, but that’ll only take me like, five minutes. Was gonna do it first thing tomorrow.” I tilted my head back to look into my mother’s soft blue eyes… such kind and happy eyes. “What’s for dinner?”
Mom rubbed my chest with a hoof, then pulled away. “Fritters. Dad got his hooves on some apples this morning so I figured we could have a good meal before the trip!”
I spun around to face the light blue maned pegasus and grinned wide. “Fritters? Awesome! Been forever since we had those. Uh… that mean the oven’s working good again?”
That question got an eyebrow raised in my direction and a small smirk from my mom. “Yes, it’s working fine. Why? Were you not done fixing it?”
I giggled and looked down. “Well, yeah, I was done, but… y’know. Shit happens.”
“Watch your language, ” My mom admonished. “I don’t want to hear that kind of talk. We’re more civilized than that!”
“Sorry, Mom.”
A wing on my shoulder brought my gaze back up to hers and she smiled at me. “You’re no filly anymore, Glitch, but… just don’t say it around me, ok? I don’t like it.” I nodded and she seemed satisfied by that. “But yes, the oven is working fine. Nothing went wrong or anything. No randomly exploding pilot light this time.”
“Yeaaahhh… that’s what I was afraid of.” I said with a wince and a grin. “Still don’t know how that happened, but you’ve gotta admit it was pretty cool.”
My mother rolled her eyes. “If you overlook the nearly burning down our home part, yes, I guess it was kind of cool.”
“Kind of? That was awesome!” My grin grew wider and I flicked my tail. “You could even say it was hot!”
The groan that followed was all I needed to make my efforts worthwhile. I laughed at my mom and gave her a hug. “Besides, last I checked stone doesn’t exactly burn.”
“Not the point, Glitch… silly filly.” My mom replied while leaning into my embrace.
It was so easy to make her forget about my cursing that I giggled. “You said I’m not a filly anymore!”
That earned me another rolling of eyes and a boop from a soft feather. “You know what I mean. Now go get your brothers and let them know dinner is almost ready. And finish that charge tonight, Glitch! Don’t wait until the last minute.”
I sighed and nodded to my mom before turning and bouncing my way out of the house. I had a pretty good idea where my brothers would be, so I thought maybe I could tell them and get that boring chore out of the way before dinner.
/\/\/\/\/\
My four legged bounce always got me odd looks. It still does, actually, but that’s not important. So anyway, I bounced my way out into the muggy Foalidian air and hung a sharp right as soon as I left that old cobblestone house. Carbon copies of it lined the rain-muddied street on both sides, the names across the doorway and the patterns of rock and mortar being the only ways to tell them apart.
It didn’t surprise me to find there weren’t many other ponies out on the street. It was dinner time, after all, and the dark grey clouds piercing the nearby mountains promised rain. And it was muggy. It felt like I could jump up into the air and swim away, but when I tried I ended up with a muzzlefull of dirt. Dirt tastes bad, did you know? Very… dirty. Yuck.
Tastiness of the ground aside, it didn’t take me too long to cross the open, rolling fields dotted with patches of green and dying brown grass and arrive at the extra smelly part of the foothills. There was a reason they made us build this place so far away. At least they let us keep it inside the safety of the walls.
A sheer, Y-shaped cliff with the open end pointed away from my home contained several dozen barrels large enough to fit two, maybe three if you did it right, ponies inside. There were two large metal shacks that I was so proud of because I got to build them. Sheesh, was I dumb back then or what? Those things probably wouldn’t have stood up to a cherry bomb.
Sure enough, a dark green coated stallion with a sharp red mane and tail was unloading more barrels from a wagon just like I figured he would be. “Hey, Strafe!” I called to him with a wave, then scrunched my muzzle as a nauseating stench slammed into me. That smell was so well known to me, and I still hadn’t gotten used to it. Probably never would have, either.
Strafe turned toward me and gave me a small nod and wave of his wing. “Sup, sis? You actually gonna help out with this shit for once?”
I blew a raspberry at him and laughed. “Hell no! Mom wanted me to tell you dinner’s almost done. So drop the crap cans and get home, yeah?”
“Uh huh. Well, I can’t yet. Dad’ll rip my primaries out if I don’t get the set up and going tonight. So why don’t you give me a hoof?” My brother asked.
And his question earned him another raspberry. “Can’t! Gotta go find Sugar still too. Plus, this is your job, not mine! Maybe if you’d take better care of your gear I’d have more time to help you out.”
“I take fine care of my stuff! Besides, that’s your job.” Strafe glowered at me, then gestured to the cans. “Come on! Give me a hoof. I know mom is making fritters and I’d like to get home before they’re cold!”
I giggled at the stallion and swished my tail. “But if you aren’t going to help me with my job, why should I help you with yours? What’s in it for me, huh? Why should I?”
My brother shook his head and rolled his eyes before turning around to grab one of the heavy barrels with his forelegs. “My gratitude ain’t enough? Come on!”
“Get me a bucket of that pink paint you used on High’s mane.” I smirked at the pegasus. “That’s my price, and I can only help you unload ‘cause I still gotta go find Sugar.”
“The glittery shit? I don’t know if there is any more, but I’ll get you some if there is.” Strafe grunted and strained, his muscular body rippling with the effort of lifting the barrel up off the cart and setting it in the mud off to the side. Once down, he paused for a few moments to take a few breaths before looking at me and continuing, “The hell do you want it for? I’ll get you something else if there’s none left, just get over here and help me!”
So much for getting the charge done before dinner I thought to myself as I trotted toward the cart laden with barrels. “For painting, duh. If you can’t get the glittery stuff just get something pink. Or orange. Or… oh, brown! That might work too. If it’s a nice soft, light brown!”
Strafe gave me a flat stare and snorted. “Painting what? Dad’ll be pissed if you paint your room again, you know. Fumes give him headaches.” He rolled his eyes again when I returned his gaze with a way too sweet smile and reached up to grab one of the barrels.
“Don’t worry your silly little head, Strafey! I’ve got it all under control. It’s a small thing! Itsy bitsy and teeny weeny! Dad won’t even know I did it.” I giggled at my brother, who proceeded to ignore me and fly up above the cart so he could lift the barrels from the front while I worked from the back. It kept us from stepping on each others hooves… which was a damn good thing because I did not want one of those barrels spilling on me! It smelled bad enough when they were closed up!
Since my brother had decided I wasn’t worth talking to anymore… big jerk… we worked in silence for the next five minutes or so until I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m surprised I lasted that long! That shit is boring! “You got your gear ready for tomorrow, Strafe? Test out your rifle yet?
There was a pregnant pause before the pegasus sighed and called back to me from behind the wall-o-barrels in the cart, “Yeah. Works great now. I’m good to go.” Another strained grunt and heavy flapping of feathery wings told me he was moving another barrel. Damn it must be nice to have wings.
“Alright.” I said yet another prayer to anyone who was listening and then heaved one of the heavy, stinky barrels to the end of the cart. After setting it down, I wiped my brow and stared at it for a few seconds, imagining what Buttercup would look like with a new coat before a dark green wing waved in front of my face.
“Equestria to Glitch! Come on! You’re extorting me so I can get you to help out, not zone out.” I blinked out of my reverie and flashed my brother a toothy grin.
“That’s totally not extortion! That’s called getting paid. Try not throwing your gun on the ground so much and making me clean it and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be more willing to help you out with your job.” I snickered at my brother as he let out an exasperated sigh and started back toward the rear of the cart again… but that’s when the shit hit the fan.
Literally.
Well, ok, not literally because there wasn’t a fan. Whatever. There was a sharp crack and the wagon tilted beneath my hooves. My head slammed into something and stars burst in my vision before I landed in a heap on the wet, soggy ground.
That was the first thing that my brain picked up on. How wet the ground was. Then my nose caught the overwhelming scent of what had, up until a few seconds ago, been inside a barrel. I blinked a few times and shook my head to clear it, but that was when I felt something cold, wet, and slimy slide down my muzzle and that was that. That feeling and that awful, nauseating stench overwhelmed me.
My stomach heaved and my lunch joined the puddle of shit and piss that I was now sprawled in.
“Fuck! You ok, Glitch?” I heard my brother ask, but I was a little too preoccupied to respond without spraying him with my vomit too. I rolled back to solid, dry ground and clutched my middle and tried to wipe myself clean with my hooves, but I was soaked. I couldn’t get it off me! It was so damn gross I couldn’t do anything! At least it was distracting me from my throbbing skull.
I stayed like that for a few minutes before I felt something rough rubbing against my head and I finally uncurled just enough to look up at the hovering Strafe. Concern etched his face and he was wiping at me with a faded purple rag, trying to get me clean. “Glitch? You alright? Say something, damn it!”
“I-I’m… I’m ok, Strafe. I think. Head hurts, but I’m ok.” I rolled to my belly and lowered my head to the dirt. “Ugh… what the fuck happened.” I clapped a hoof to my muzzle as my stomach dry heaved and a shudder ran through my body. That smell...
“Barrel fell over. Broke the wagon’s wheel and axle. It tipped over, launched you into the barrel you were unloading, and spilled it all over… well, you.”
I looked over at the wagon and, sure enough, it looked like a barrel had shifted in a muddy patch and fallen over… just right so that the heavy damn thing came crashing down on the wheel right where the axle poked through it. “Well, fuck.” I managed to get out between heaves.
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get you cleaned up and to the doc, alright? Looked like you landed pretty hard and you’ve got a nasty cut just below your right ear.” My brother stopped wiping me down. Not because I was clean, but because the rag was soaked and filthy and just spreading the nasty around at this point. I looked back to my brother and it was just then that I noticed he hadn’t escaped the wrath of the barrel. Brown flecks were splattered all over his chest and neck, tiny little dots of stink and nastiness.
“You need cleaned up too…” I told him and he nodded. Part of me was concerned for him, but mostly I was just jealous. Not only was he weathering the dirt and stench better than me, but he didn’t get it a quarter as bad as I did. Probably because he was flying and only got splashed. Being an earth pony sucks.
/\/\/\/\/\
Needless to say, I never did get around to letting my other brother know dinner was almost done. Strafe went and got him after he dropped me off at the clinic and I was rather glad about that. Getting that mess cleaned off of me wasn’t the most dignified of situations.
Once that was done, the nurse, a pretty mare about my age with a really cute tail, sprayed something into the cut on my neck that burned worse than the hardest of whiskeys and put a bandage over it. “There you go! You should be fine. I’ll get you an icepack to put on that lump and you’re going to have to stay overnight. I want to watch for infection.”
I tore my eyes away from her pretty yellow and green striped tail and grinned at her. “Oh come on! What was the point of that sh-... stuff then? Just cause me intense pain? Sheesh!”
“That will, hopefully, prevent an infection, but getting that… sludge… in an open wound is very dangerous, Glitch. That sort of infection could kill you.” She gave me a small, smile and swished that oh so interesting tail.
I sighed and rolled my eyes just a little. “Fine… my parents are going to freak, though. I had work I needed to finish tonight for a job tomorrow! Now dad’s going to have to do it and he’s going to be pissed…” I locked eyes with the other mare and gave her my best winning smile. “Come on. Please, Thermo? I’ll be fine. I feel even the tiniest, littlest bit infected and I’ll come running straight back to you. Promise!”
“Absolutely not!” My mother’s voice sounded from the doorway, stern and full of concern. I looked over as she trotted around my bed to take a seat, then nodded to the nurse. “Thermometer.”
“Sharp.” Thermo replied with a nod and a smile to my mom before stepping back. She floated a clipboard up in the blue glow of her magic that matched her coat, read it, then looked between us both. “Barring infection or something like that, she’ll be fine. As far as I can tell the swelling should go away in a day or two and there is not anything to cause concern. Still, I would like to keep her here tonight just in case. Sepsis is a serious concern given the circumstances.”
My mother’s gaze softened and she nodded to the nurse while breathing a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Thermo. That’s a relief.” She looked back to me and shook her head. “Really, Glitch? You want to go back to work? From what Strafe told me it was an accident. A crazy one at that. Just relax, alright? We’ll take care of things tonight and then we’ll all go out tomorrow.”
“Dad’s gonna be pissed and you know it, Mom. I can hear him now!” I stopped and deepened my voice in imitation of my father. “You should’a done it earlier! You had time! Now I’ve got to do your job because you couldn’t be bothered to do it when you had the chance.”
A giggle escaped my throat and I dropped the act to await my mother’s reply, but it didn’t come. Instead she gestured with her head across the bed and I turned to see a lanky red unicorn. I mean like, really, really red! Everything about him was different shades of red. Just like the blood in my veins that just ran cold.
“Uh… hi, Dad…”
Thermo brought her clipboard up to cover her face and I was pretty sure it was to hide a smile. Bitch. My father shook his head and stepped into the room with a sigh, his expression surprising me a lot. Instead of annoyance or anger I saw… sadness and disappointment. He stopped at my bedside and sat down to look at me for a moment before looking over at the nurse mare. The entire time she was explaining my condition I kept waiting for the hammer to drop, but it never did.
“I’m glad you’re ok, Glitchy.” Is all he said to me. We looked at each other for several long moments before he turned to Thermometer and furrowed his brow. “Unless there’s some reason for you to be in here, leave. I need to speak with my filly.” And there is the stallion I expected…
Thermo simply nodded and climbed to her hooves. “Let me know if you need anything.” She started for the door, but my dad couldn’t resist one last passing shot.
“I already paid the bill.” That made me wince. Great… not only is he going to have to do my job for me, I cost him caps too. I figured the coming talk was going to be absolutely wonderful!
Without pausing, the nurse called back as she passed through the door. “Wonderful to hear, Blast. Still, let me know if you need anything.” The last thing I saw of her was a flick of that pretty tail disappearing around the door frame.
My father turned back to me and his expression relaxed again. With a sigh, he reached out to touch a hoof to my neck just below the bandage. “Glitch… yeah, you should’ve done your job sooner. I’m not happy that this happened, but it’s not like you could’ve predicted it. I’m just glad you’re ok. Could’ve been a lot worse if that barrel fell on you instead of you on it.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but return it. A stray thought about getting hurt more often when I screw up popped into my head, but I pushed it away and nuzzled my father’s foreleg.
“Sorry, Dad.” I replied to my parents as they both leaned in to hug me. The smile on my face spread even wider, the warmth and care that they enveloped me with making me feel a lot better. “Guess this is just a shitty situation.”
My parents both tensed up, groaned, and pulled away from me in near perfect unison, making me grin and laugh at them both. “You’re right though. It could’ve been worse! The barrel could’ve beat the piss out of me.”
That earned me another pair of groans and my mother face winged hard. “Glitch… language… and stop. Please.”
My father chuckled and shook his head before leaning down to nuzzle me. “Enough of that, Glitchy.” After I returned his affections, he stood up and sighed, then turned toward the door. “Anyway… I’ve got to go. Sugar and Strafe are cleaning up the mess and I need to get out there and help them if we’re going to get everything ready before dark.”
“Alright, Dad… I’m really sorry. I tried to get Thermo to let me out, but-” He cut me off with a wave of his hoof and his horn glowed a fiery orange.
“Just don’t let it happen again, alright? Here.” His bags opened and out floated something wrapped in a pure white cloth, wrapped in the glow of his telekinesis. It’d be nice to have a horn, too.
The cloth landed on my chest and I could feel a faint warmth against my coat. I tilted my head and looked at my mom, who rolled her eyes and gestured to the item, a wry smile on her muzzle.
“See you later, Glitchy. Love you.” The gruff voice of my father called as he left the room. I glanced toward the door before looking back down at the bundle he’d given me, wondering what it was. Carefully, I unwrapped the item with my hooves, once again wishing I had wings or magic to help me with such fine manipulation to reveal…
A pair of fragrant cinnamon apple fritters, still steaming with warmth from the oven.