Applejack versus Buckerhoof Broadside

by Arkan0id

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Applejack, Original Character, Apple Bloom
Length: 1210

Another con artist is a threat to Applejack's business, this time using enchanted seeds and sweet talk to woo the citizens of Ponyville.

The "honest and hard working" fruit peddler Buckerhoof Broadside has the residents of Ponyville captivated by his seeming ability to mass cultivate apples in minutes and generously give free samples. Applejack can see through this guy's unsavory plan though. Can she expose this charlatan and defend Sweet Apple Acres' standing once more?

Published 2014-02-07 00:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-07 00:20:04 UTC

AJ vs BB part 1: First Encounter

It was a bright and lovely morning at Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was out in the orchard bucking apples as usual.

Nopony worked as hard or knew as much about apples as she did. This wasn’t just a flattering statement her pony friends tell her. AJ had the awards to verify these claims. She and the Apple family even defeated the swindlers Flim and Flam with honesty and dedication; thus the cider industry and Sweet Apple Acres itself was saved from a hostile takeover. Truly it seemed that nopony else in Equestria could vie for the apple business quite like her.

Apple Bloom tagged along with an extra basket and collected the fine fruits as they fell. “These apples are looking yummy!” she remarked.

AJ certainly agreed. No machine processed apples, apple products, or apple accessories could match the sheer quality of what Sweet Apple Acres could produce out of sheer passion.

It was almost time for Apple Bloom’s birthday and AJ was glad to give her an early present. Namely it was a break from finishing her chores. “Why don’t ya go crusade with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle? I got the rest of this handled.” She said.

Apple Bloom was glad to hear it. “Alright Applejack! Thanks! Who knows what we’ll do this time!” she answered cheerfully.

“Who knows indeed. That always worries me.” Apple jack replied with a grin.

Applejack continued bucking for a couple more hours before calling it a day. “I’ll go into town and see what the girls are up to.” She thought.

Upon arriving in Ponyville proper AJ noticed something peculiar. Baskets of apples she didn’t buck with a sign reading “Samples. Take one today free!” on each lined the road.

“What the hay is going on here?” she said aloud. A number of ponies were wandering about munching on the seemingly delightful fruits.
Pinkie Pie came bouncing onto the scene as well. “Hey Applejack have you tried these apples yet? They are like so good we should use some to make apple cinnamon rolls back at Sugar Cube Corner. Yummy nummy, right Gummy?” she said characteristically upbeat while the toothless alligator did nothing as usual.

“Where did these come from Pinkie?” Applejack inquired in a tone almost like a detective interrogating a suspect.

“Oh, some stallion guy who specializes in fruit bucking. Says his name is… uh Luckyhoof… no wait Buckerhoof! Yeah that’s it.” Pinkie replied.

Applejack actually laughed for a couple of seconds at what she thought was a ridiculous name. Then she came to her senses. This guy was in town giving out free sample apples and the townsponies seemed to love them. She wondered if this could be a problem for her business. She also considered maybe that's jumping the gun a little.

“I’ll just have to meet this Buckerhoof.” She said.

“Oh he may still be at Sugar Cube Corner. His seems to have a magnetic personality with the crowd.” Pinkie stated.

“I’ll just see this Buckletooth and find out everything.” Applejack concluded as she headed off for Sugar Cube Corner.

She walked in just as he was finishing some speech about honesty being the best policy. Several ponies were listening to his tales, including the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were munching on apples. Buckerhoof Broadside was an earth pony stallion with rough similarities to Big McIntosh, but the most notable difference was his brown coat and eye patch.

“Buckletooth I take it.” Applejack aimed at the town’s new admired stranger.

“Well close. Buckerhoof Broadside is the name. Dealer of fruits and fruit accessories. I specialize in applebucking of course. Would you like a free sample?” He answered.

“Thanks but I already ate. So where did you come from Mr. Broadhide?” Applejack questioned.

“Oh, no place permanent. Always on the go. I’m just a traveling, honest, hardworking jack of all fruits. How about you?” Broadside answered.

“Funny that I’m like that except I’m a bit more settled and less on the go. Name’s Applejack, manager of Sweet Apple Acres. But how did you get all of those apples here?” Applejack continued.

“Magic!” Broadside said with a snort.

“Uh you’re an earth pony.” Applejack pointed out.

“I know. I’ve got these enchanted seeds that grow at the speed of delicious.” Broadside said.

Applejack ignored the corny metaphor in amazement. “You do? They can?” She asked astounded.

“I showed some of the townsponies. Can't tell any of you where I get them, trade secret. Let’s step out back and observe.” Broadside chuckled.

At the back of Sugar Cube Corner Broadside took out a velvet pouch and tossed a seed to the ground. Like a fairytale beanstalk a two and a half meter apple tree sprouted up within a couple minutes.

“Holy hay!” Applejack exclaimed.

“Try just a bite for a taste.” Broadside offered. Applejack finally did so in spite of having already eaten earlier. Indeed it tasted quite good, but AJ could swear that Sweet Apple Acres had turned out better tasting apples. Maybe the lure of a free sample made these apples more attractive to the residents of Ponyville.

“Imagine ponies have to wait months between seasons for more apples from your farm. I can offer them some any time in a matter of minutes. At any price. They won’t disagree during the dead of winter or during an apple famine.” Broadside said quietly with a slightly sinister demeanor.

“So you are giving these samples as bait so they’ll pay any price you ask for more during the off season? I thought you said honesty was one of your things.” Applejack quipped.

“I AM honest! As long as they know what they are buying and at what cost I’m not deceiving anypony am I? It may not be cheap but the last thing I'd do is lie to my customers.” Broadside answered proudly.

“Well as of right now they don’t know what you’re planning and I think it is my obligation to tell them.” Applejack said.

“I said I could ask any price, but never said I truly planned to overcharge anypony if that’s what you insinuate Miss Applejack. Ha ha. I’m on good terms with these ponies. They’ll just think you’re a jealous competitor. And a less productive one.” Broadside fired back.

AJ didn’t like being implied as being jealous or unproductive. “Broadhide, you seem like a sweet talking fly-by-night swindler. I’ve already dealt with a couple of jokers like you so I know where this could go. Why don’t we just ask the townsponies which apples are better? I think their taste buds and wallets will send them the right way.” Applejack challenged.

Apple Bloom walked up with her friends as Applejack said that. "Yeah, a Ponyville apple taste off would be great for my birthday!" Apple Bloom suggested.

Applejack had that 'Oh Celestia why did you speak?' look on her face while Buckerhoof Broadside grinned insanely at the thought of the opportunity. "Got enough apples for this town right now Miss Applejack? Because I do." Broadside sneered.

Author's Note

Pinkie Pride week's WTG submission at EQD. The prompt was "Author, Equestria is in peril! Assemble a team of one Mane Cast member and their foil with attitude!"