Cutie Mark Crusader Revengers

by Minds Eye

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 9057

Twilight Sparkle tricks the girls into giving up a crusade. She must pay!

After watching her library torn apart in a search for inspiration, Twilight Sparkle fools and kicks out the Cutie Mark Crusaders. A sinister plot is born right outside her door; a plot that will try to turn her closest friends against her. The crusaders will not stop until they have righted the wrong done to them!

Published 2014-02-07 03:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-09 21:38:59 UTC

Chapter 1: Kicked Out

Princess Twilight Sparkle was horrified. Tears welled in her eyes, slipped down her cheeks, and fell to the paper she was looking over. That was all it was: paper. She knew that wasn’t true though. She knew it was a book, the newest novel in her library, in fact, but she couldn’t focus on it. The letters meant nothing to her. The words they formed failed to register in her mind. For the first time in her life, she couldn’t read.

She felt a comforting claw on her shoulder. Twilight tried to force a smile as she looked to her assistant, Spike, but she knew he was still worried about her. A moment later, her pet Owlicious landed on her other shoulder. Their concern touched her deeply. This was their home too. This catastrophe impacted them just as much as her.

Their library looked like a tornado ran through it. In a way, it had. Books were piled high in different spots around the room, paying no heed to their careful cataloguing system. Food crumbs and juice boxes littered the floor. Somehow, someway, there was a knife sticking out of her globe. All of this because she had let the tornado in with the promise of “just one book.”

Why did she believe them?

The Cutie Mark Crusaders ransacked her library in their quest for inspiration. Scootaloo, the young and flightless pegasus, jumped from shelf to shelf, calling out titles to her friends. Sweetie Belle, the unicorn, pored through historical texts, scribbling down notes about the fashions she found. Apple Bloom, a dependable earth pony like her sister Applejack, flipped through a stack of biographies. Something caught her eye.

“Gals! Gals! Listen to this! This here ag-rye-cool-too, uh, ag-rye-cool-turoo-“

“’Agriculturist?’” Sweetie Belle offered.

“Uh, yeah! That! He figured out a way to grow seedless watermelon! Seedless watermelon! What if we grew seedless apples?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “How do we do that? Are you an agri-whatever?”

“I...don’t think so...”

“Actually-“

“Girls,” Twilight interrupted. She was the resident princess. If she didn’t take charge, who would? “I think that’s enough for one day. It’s been a pleasure having you,” Spike snorted, which was ignored, “but it’s time you went home.”

Sweetie Belle smiled up at her. “Aw, thanks Twilight, but the sun just went down an hour ago. I have awhile longer before Sis gets worried.”

Twilight’s eye twitched as the other two fillies echoed Sweetie’s sentiments. How much longer could they possibly be?! Spike leaned against her, white as a sheet. “Twilight, what do we do?”

She didn’t know. “Just...just start picking up what you can. We’ll worry about sorting it all out later.”

“Hey!” The shout came from above. “Give that back, bird brain!” Scootaloo was hanging in mid-air, desperately flapping her tiny wings as Owlicious dragged her around the library. Twilight gasped as she recognized the book they were wrestling over. Not that one!

Twilight lit her horn and grabbed hold of Scootaloo. The pegasus jolted to a stop. Even in an alicorn’s grip, she held onto the book for a moment longer before Owlicious ripped it free and flew it up to the second floor. Scootaloo glared accusingly at Twilight at the princess lowered her gently to the ground. “The Cutie Mark Compendium! That’s exactly what we need!”

Apple Bloom pushed the thick, hardcover book she put over her head as a shield during the confusion. “The what now?”

“The Cutie Mark Compendium,” Twilight answered with a sigh. “It's...well, an encyclopedia of cutie marks. Common symbols, what they could mean, lists of some ponies that have had them.”

Sweetie Belle hopped in excitement. “That is what we need! Twilight, can we borrow it?!”

“No!” That was too harsh. Sweetie and Apple Bloom looked crestfallen. Scootaloo just kept staring her down. “I mean, it isn’t really mine. I bought it as a gift for Cadance and Shining Armor. They’re thinking of having a foal.” She raised a hoof to stop Scootaloo from talking. “I want it to be in perfect condition when I give it to them.”

“We’ll take good care of it!”

“I highly doubt that, Sweetie Belle.” A bookshelf collapsed as she spoke. The unicorn looked back up at Twilight with a sheepish smile.

“You were hiding it!” Scootaloo finally burst. “You were hiding it from us! Why did you do that?”

Twilight fought to keep her temper in check. “Look at my library. You three don’t exactly have a reputation for cleanliness. Do I really have to remind you about the noodle incident?”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you just let us see that book first!”

This was getting out of hand. Scootaloo was not going to tell her what to do with her things in her home. Still, Twilight managed a smile. “The book only has some of the more common symbols. You three would have found them already if you were truly meant for them.”

“Then you wouldn't give it to a princess," Scootaloo challenged.

"I'm giving it to a foal," Twilight corrected as she walked around the girls. She met Spike's eyes on her path and gave him a wink. He understood, and made his way behind the Crusaders. "Listen, why don't we compromise? Let me read you a story. It was one of my favorites when I was your age, and I promise you'll learn something valuable from it."

Scootaloo opened her mouth to argue, but stopped when her friends sat down in front of Twilight and looked back at her. The pegasus sighed. "You promise?"

Progress! "Cross my heart." The third crusader sat down, and Twilight looked behind them at the shrinking piles of books on the floor. Spike was tossing them in the air for Owlicious to catch and return to the shelves. She summoned one and cracked it open.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow when she saw the title. "Earth Plow and the Dragon? What?"

"Earth Plow was a simple earth pony living in a far away land. He worked the fields his family owned, but he never truly loved farming. Instead, he felt his destiny was tied to the land itself. Earth Plow always volunteered to pull the farm's harvest to the castle market. His journeys there-"

"Ugh, so what?" Scootaloo groaned. "We've heard this before! Let me guess, he gets some great inspiration and-"

"Shhh!" Sweetie Belle looked back to Twilight with a smile.

"Thank you, Sweetie." Twilight quickly looked behind the girls and saw Spike dashing around the room with a broom and dustpan. This was going faster than she thought.

"A-hem. One day, an evil dragon came to the kingdom. He set fire to the land surrounding the castle, and chased every pony into its walls. The princess came forth to defend her subjects, and was defeated. The cruel serpent wrapped her in his tail and left the ponies with a wicked choice: they had three days to bring all their food to his cave, or he would eat their princess."

Twilight suppressed a smile as the three fillies gasped. This was working! Don't turn around. Please, just don't turn around. Spike and Owlicious continued in their heroic effort to clean quietly behind the distracted crusaders.

"Every pony started to panic. Without their food, they would surely starve. Without their princess, they would surely fall apart. Earth Plow realized the only possible choice they could make was the third option, to get rid of the dragon. No pony would listen to him. After all, their own princess failed to defeat the dragon. What chance did they have?

"Earth Plow refused to give up. He secretly gathered a bushel of wheat and brought it before the dragon. The dragon laughed at the tiny amount that was offered and rushed to devour both it and Earth Plow. In a flash, the brave pony pulled out the pitchfork hidden in the wheat and threw it down the cavernous throat rushing for him. The dragon began to choke as the pitchfork lodged itself inside of him. The princess was released from his tail. Before the ponies could flee, the dragon begged for his life.

"He promised to leave and never return if Earth Plow would remove his tool. To show his desperation, he also promised gold. With the princess trying to keep the dragon's jaws open with her magic, Earth Plow walked into the beast's gullet. He removed the pitchfork, and true to his word, the dragon presented him with an enormous nugget of gold, and immediately left the kingdom.

"The princess ordered the gold melted down and crafted into a suit of armor. Earth Plow became the first captain of her guard, and lived his life leading his soldiers in defense of his home. And that, little ones, is the story of Earth Plow and the Dragon." The three fillies gaped up at her. Now came the hard part...

"Wait a minute," Scootaloo said, "what were we supposed to learn from that? I mean, thanks for telling it, but we came here looking for cutie marks. Not bedtime."

Twilight smiled and opened the door behind her with her horn. "Why don't you sleep on it, Scootaloo? Tell me what you think in the morning."

"No thanks. I think I'll flip through that one book that had that-HEY!" The pegasus threw her head side to side when she turned around. "Where is everything?"

"Where it belongs. And right now, you three belong home. Good night, girls." The crusaders yelped as a purple glow lifted them off the ground and carried them outside. Twilight slammed the door shut before slumping down and holding her face in her hooves. Spike walked over and patted her shoulder. "Oh Spike, do you think they'll forgive me for that?"

"Sure. Eventually." Twilight frowned at him, but he didn't seem to notice. "I can't deal with any more excitement today. I'm going to bed."

Twilight laughed as she looked over her newly spotless library. "I think that was a new record. Why don't you and Owlicious take the day off tomorrow? You two deserve it."

Scootaloo stared blankly at the door in front of her face. Did that really happen? "She just kicked us out, didn't she?"

Sweetie Belle giggled. "Twilight wouldn't do that. Watch." She reached out and knocked on the door. Sweetie put on one of her more charming smiles and waited...waited...waited. Scootaloo watched in disbelief before turning to Apple Bloom, who was not amused.

"Why did you start hollering like that? You upset her!"

"Well, she didn't have to do this!"

"Why not? I want my cutie mark as bad as you, but shoutin' at a princess just doesn't sound right."

Sweetie Belle turned to her friends with a tear in her eye. "She...she just kicked us out, didn't she?"

Scootaloo pointed at the unicorn. "Exactly! She just kicked us out of a library! I know she's a princess, but can she even do that? Isn't it there for us to learn? She even hid the most important book from us! And then she lied! She suckered us! Did you learn anything from that story?"

Apple Bloom scratched her head. "No, but couldn't she have been trying to teach us something else? Like-like a lesson?"

"Yeah, I learned a lesson. When bad things happen to you, you get up and do something about it. So what are we going to do about this?"

"What are you on about now?"

"We've been wronged, Apple Bloom. We have to set it right. How does 'Cutie Mark Crusader Revengers' sound to you?"

"Revengers? You sure that's the right word?"

"Pretty sure. Does it matter? Are you in or out?"

"I...maybe. What do you think, Sweetie Belle?" Sweetie was remarkably quiet, staring at the ground the whole while the other two argued.

"Yeah, Sweetie Belle. What do you think?" If she could get the unicorn on board, Apple Bloom would follow along. It would be 2 against 1. "How long have we been trying to get our Cutie Marks? And we've planned this trip to the library since what, this morning? That long ago? We had an encyclopedia of cutie marks in our hooves, and it was snatched away. Then Twilight wasted our time and tricked us and locked us out. What should we do about it?"

Sweetie looked up at her friends. Her lower lip trembled as she spoke. "We should crush her. We should hear her lamentations as we drive her before us. We should send her back to Canterlot in tears. We should laugh as she curses Celestia for sending her to Ponyville in the first place. We should claim the library as our own and bask in the spoils of war."

Scootaloo froze in terror. "I...I was thinking we could pull one big prank."

"Y-yeah, a prank sounds good to me," Apple Bloom agreed.

Sweetie Belle stood still as a statue. Finally, she slowly nodded. "OK. That sounds easier."

Chapter 2: The Study of Sparkle

Scootaloo waved a hoof to disperse Sweetie Belles incoming breath. "I just think she should warn us when she eats onions for breakfast. Who even does that anyway?"

"Rarity," came the quick reply. "She's teaching me a new omelet."

Scootaloo groaned. "Then we're using the thinking spot one at a time."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "No way, no how. You were the one who wanted this, remember?"

The three fillies sat to the side in the clubhouse. A clean, onion free zone surrounded the tiny red circle in which they found themselves. Perhaps it was the distraction of the odor, but ideas were slow in coming. In fact, there was only one, and Scootaloo wasn't ready to let it go. "I still think that poison joke stuff is our best bet."

"I've told you she's seen it before. She'll know what it is and fix herself up in a snap."

"Yeah, but she's an alicorn now. That won't change anything?"

"If you want to mess with that stuff, be my guest. I just want you to know that if you start talking in bawks you'll never hear the end of it from me."

Sweetie Belle lit up. "I have something! You know how she's all organized, right? She hates it when things are out of place. So what if one of us distracts her, and then the other two go in the library and-"

"And what?" Scootaloo grunted. "Move everything slightly to the left?"

"No, no, no, another one of the two distracts Spike if they have to, and then they sneak a bunch of books out."

"Oh, that is perfect!" Scootaloo started laughing. "She won't know where they are, she can't look to see who checked them out, she'll absolutely freak!"

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom pumped her hoof. "And that exactly why we're not gonna do that! Do you really want another Smarty Pants thing?" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shuddered. That was a good point. "Now listen," the earth pony continued, "what makes a good prank? It catches you by surprise, right?"

Sweetie Belle nodded. "That's right. She can't see it coming. We should hit when she least expects it."

"The library is too obvious," Scootaloo added. "She'll get suspicious if we just start hanging out again so soon. So...how often does she leave the library? Where does she go? What exactly does she do?"

"Yeah, we don't really know that much about her," Sweetie Belle said. "Like, is she afraid of spiders or something like that? Something we can use?"

Apple Bloom suddenly jumped and lit the lamp over their heads. "We'll beat her with her own game! It's time to learn a thing or two. We're going on a field trip."

Applejack grit her teeth as she saw the look on the faces of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They never looked this eager without some mischief to back it up. The fact they were prepared to write down her every word did nothing to calm her nerves. "Why would ya'll be asking about Twilight? You didn't start up that Gabby Gums nonsense again, didja?"

"Nope!" Her sister beamed up at her. "Cheerilee gave us an assignment to research Ponyville history. We thought we'd do something more recent."

"'An in depth look at one of Ponyville's most famous', yeah, you told me." Every instinct in Applejack's body was telling her to run away from this conversation. "Why don't you just go ask Twi yourselves? Just because she's a princess doesn't mean she won't make time for you." The three fillies looked at each other in a panic. She knew it. Something was wrong.

"Um, Twilight won't tell us all of the embarass-"

"What she means is," Scootaloo began after stuffing a hoof in Sweetie Belle's mouth, "Twilight is too modest to give us a real look at her. I'm sure you know some things that she wouldn't tell us herself."

Applejack shook her head. "No way I'm talking bad about my friend behind her back. You three get on now, and let me stay out of this. Just like that noodle incident."

Rarity raised a hoof to her mouth and giggled. "Twilight was so wrapped up in her reference guide she didn't even notice how Applejack and I disposed of that tree limb." It wasn't particularly ladylike to share the private details of a slumber party, but the girls were trying so hard to pay attention. What a rare treat it was to have Scootaloo and Apple Bloom listening to her as well! She worried about those two, honestly. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were fine role models, but they both lacked a certain...polish.

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin with her pencil. "So that's it? There's nothing else you can tell us?"

"For what, Sweetie? Your phony school report?" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at her in shock. Naiiiilled iiiit, she thought to herself if a sing-song voice.

"Oh, no Sis, we're just wondering how Twilight might leave herself open to a surprise attac-"

Scootaloo tackled Sweetie Belle to the floor. Apple Bloom rushed to cover for her. "A surprise anniversary party! For her, uh, princessness!"

"The word is 'coronation,' dear." Rarity smiled knowingly. "Does Pinkie Pie know that you three are cutting in on her turf, as it were?"

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a look before answering. "We might have to bring her in to help us out. We didn't find out much here. Let's go crusaders."

So she wasn't helpful, was she? Rarity laughed to herself and let it slide. "Girls," she called out before they left, "this scheme-hatchery of yours...it won't result in another noodle incident, will it?"

Scootaloo turned on her with fire in her eyes. "That wasn't our fault!"

"It was totally your fault!" Rainbow Dash nearly fell out of the sky as she howled in laughter. Her newly adopted sister sat next to Fluttershy, looking up at her defiantly.

"If Snips and Snails didn't knock over that crate, it wouldn't have gone wrong!"

Rainbow laughed harder. "Gone wrong? How could it have gone right?" She stifled herself as Scootaloo hung her head dejectedly. "I mean, Scoot, come on. What have I been telling you about flying? There's wind, and gravity, and more going on than just you. You gotta think a few moves ahead."

Fluttershy stroked the little filly's mane. "Oh, it wasn't all bad, Scootaloo. My animals were happy to help with the clean-up. They loved the noodles, even though they couldn't finish them all."

Rainbow Dash rolled with more laughter. That was why Fluttershy's animals were so excited to see the crusaders! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle charged into Fluttershy's back yard to chase and play with their newfound friends, leaving the three pegasi to talk.

Rainbow forced herself to stop laughing again at a warning stare from Fluttershy. This sister thing was still new to her. Scootaloo looked up to her now more than ever, and she didn't need any more mockery. "Okay, okay, forget about that," she said as she landed on Scootaloo's side opposite Fluttershy. "That was last week, and this is now. What's eating you, kid?"

Scootaloo lit up and spread a piece of paper in front of her. "Tell me everything you know about Twilight. Like what she does, why she does it, that sort of thing. We're writing a report on her for school and-"

"No you aren't," Fluttershy interrupted gently.

Scootaloo threw down her pencil in disgust. "Why does every pony say that?!"

Rainbow smirked at her. "Because the next time you three try this hard at school will be the first time you three try this hard at school. I think it was you who said, 'Who wants homework as a cutie mark?'" The filly groaned and looked at her hooves again. Rainbow nudged her with an elbow. "Come on. Tell us what's really going on."

Scootaloo looked up at her, and over to Fluttershy, who smiled sweetly. She gave a heavy sigh and started to talk. "We're just looking for some payback because Twilight-"

A silver bolt shot between the two mares. Rainbow turned in surprise to see Scootaloo lying on the ground behind them, dazed. Sweetie Belle used a hoof to fan off her horn as Apple Bloom ran up to the two remaining upright pegasi with a grin. "We're just trying to pay Twilight back for all she's done for Ponyville. We really want this to be special, so it has to be a surprise."

Fluttershy looked to Rainbow in worry, and Rainbow looked to her with a smile before addressing the crusaders. "Do you three really think I don't recognize the set-up for a prank?"

Fluttershy was less amused. "She said payback. Girls, why are you doing this? Nothing good comes from revenge. If you're this upset with Twilight, you need to talk with her about it. I'll even go with you. Kindness always helps more than anger."

"We tried talking," Scootaloo spat as she pulled herself up. "It didn't do any good. So, we've gotta try something bigger."

Rainbow shook her head. "Too big. What you have to know about Twi-"

"Rainbow Dash, don't you dare!" Fluttershy glared at her icily. "We are not getting involved in this. They already told us Applejack and Rarity refused to help them, and now we are too. They have to do the right thing."

Fluttershy turned and walked back into her cottage. Rainbow watched her leave and looked back down at the smiling faces crowding her. She groaned silently. What was the right thing? Shouldn't she help? But Applejack and Rarity turned them down, and they've been sisters longer than she was. "Twilight...is just out of your league. The best thing you can do is probably let it go." She took off before giving the crusaders time to respond.

Scootaloo kicked a rock down the path as the crusaders made their way back to Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had been her last hope. The sun was setting, and they were no closer to their goal. If the other two weren't still behind her...she couldn't blame them. "We're not just letting it go, are we?"

Apple Bloom put her fears to rest. "No, we're not letting it go! We've spent a day trying to come up with a plan. I want to see this done."

Sweetiee Belle threw her head back and shouted. "We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We will endure failure, for we are joined together with the strongest of forces!"

"Taffy!" Scootaloo yelled.

"Tree sap!" Apple Bloom answered.

The three fillies fell over each other in hysterics. It felt good to laugh after their frustration. The day wasn't a total waste after all.

Sweetie Belle was the first to contain her giggles. "There's still one more thing we can try. We can always ask her.”

No sooner had she said the word then the ground began to shake. Cracks opened in the earth, emitting whistling, pink steam. The crusaders huddled together as the steam gathered in a cloud before them. In a brilliant flash of light, the cloud vanished and revealed a pink pony sitting in mid-air, balanced on her bushy tail. She was dressed in a Saddle Arabian scarf and headdress, and she held a mystical orb of fate's destiny in her lap. Her eyes were closed in serene tranquility.

"Oh Crusaders of the Marks of Cutie," she spoke in a voice of infinite wisdom and calm, "long has this day been for you, and with no fruit to bear. Your summons of laughter have reached my ears. Madame Pinkie has come to answer you one question."

What in Equestria was this?! Scootaloo stayed down with her friends, thinking about what she just heard. It finally dawned on her. One question! She opened her mouth, but Sweetie Belle was faster than she was.

"Can we just talk to Pinkie Pie, please?" Scootaloo face hoofed. That was a question!

Madame Pinkie opened her eyes and regarded the fillies with a cool disinterest. Another cloud of steam burst from the ground. When it cleared, Pinkie Pie was back to her normal...ish self, smiling widely at the girls with her head cocked to the side. "Well of course you can, silly! Whassup?"

Roll with it, Scootaloo thought. "We're trying to prank Twilight, and we can't figure out how to do it. Can you help?"

For the briefest of moments, the quickest of heartbeats, the splittest of seconds, Pinkie Pie looked completely serious. Then it was gone, and she was rolling on back, kicking her legs in laughter. "You three-you three don't know how to prank Twilight?! It-it's so simple! Here I thought I was the Element of Laughter!" Scootaloo felt her cheeks flush red. Did they miss something?

Apple Bloom stamped a hoof. "So just tell us already! We've asked every pony!"

Pinkie stopped laughing long enough to ask, "Every pony? You asked every pony and they didn't know either?!" Her laughter was only interrupted by her occasional snorts. This time, Sweetie Belle joined in.

She blushed under the glare of her two friends. "Its...its infectious."

Pinkie Pie looked up at the girls from her back. "You three really want to know how to prank Twilight?" They nodded. "You really, really want to know?" They nodded again. "You really-really-really-"

"Really, really, really want to know!" Scootaloo took a quick breath to calm down.

Pinkie looked at her in amazement. "Whoa! That's six reallys! Okay, come closer." She rolled onto her stomach and waved them in. "Closer...closer...closer...good." All four faces were inches apart now. "The thing you have to know is that Twilight..." Pinkie pulled back and quickly looked around for eavesdroppers. She leaned back in to whisper the end of her message. "Hates. Being. WRONG!"

Scootaloo staggered back and fell on her face. "That's...that's it?"

"That's it," Pinkie chirped as she bounced around. "Oh, you should have seen Twilight the day she found out about my Pinkie Sense. She tried SO hard to explain it, and she was SO angry when she couldn't, she practically exploded! I think her mane caught on fire! Trust me, there's no better way to get under Twilight's skin than to prove her wrong about something. Anything else I can do for you?"

Sweetie Belled looked to her friends before answering. "No, I think you've done enough." Pinkie Pie saluted them, and hopped away. "So," Sweetie began, "Twilight hates being wrong. Twilight, who went to the most prestigious magic school in Equestria."

"Twilight," Apple Bloom continued, "who was hoof picked for special lessons by Princess Celestia herself."

"Twilight," Scootaloo finished glumly, "who lived in one library or another for most of her life. We have to be smarter than that."

"Not necessarily." Sweetie Belle tapped the ground with a hoof, deep in thought. "We're going about this the wrong way. Rainbow Dash said we're out of our league, and Pinkie Pie just proved that true. I mean, look at us. We've spent all this time trying to study Twilight like she does with everything, and what do we have to show for it?"

"Nothing," Apple Bloom was forced to admit.

"Right. We couldn't even fool Twilight's friends, much less Twilight herself. We'll never beat her like this. So all we're left with is what we agreed on this morning."

"A good prank is unexpected," Scootaloo said.

"Exactly. We can't outsmart her, so all we can do is catch her by surprise. Let's call it a day for now. Think of some ideas. When we meet at the clubhouse tomorrow, nothing is off the table."

Chapter 3: For Great Justice!

Sweetie Belle charged out of the clubhouse the moment she saw her friends. “I got it! I got it! Follow me!” She led them on a gallop through Sweet Apple Acres, and through half of Ponyville, before Apple Bloom asked the obvious question.

“What are you doin’?!”

“Just keep running! Twilight is going to freak!”

Scootaloo couldn’t believe her. “We’re going to the library?! Why?”

“Just keep running! We need to be scared and surprised!” Golden Oak Library loomed closer. Sweetie barreled into the door with no hesitation, nearly knocking it off its hinges. “Twilight! Twilight! You have to help us!”

The alicorn dropped the stack of books she was moving. “Good heavens, girls! What’s going on?”

“A meteor!” Sweetie Belle shrieked in terror. “I saw a meteor heading for Equestria! It’s gonna hit us!” Twilight gasped in horror and sprinted upstairs. Sweetie Belle turned to the other crusaders with a chuckle. “I just dangled a rock in front of our telescope. Wait till she comes over and sees it!”

Scootaloo grimaced in pain and walked out the door. Apple Bloom followed her. Twilight called down to her a moment later. “Sweetie, I don’t see anything. Are you sure it was a meteor?”

Oh sweet Celestia. Sweetie Belle felt her cheeks flush red. “Um...no. It...it might have been something else.”

Twilight stuck her head over the edge of the second floor with a smile. “It was probably some dust or a bug on your lens. Happens to me all the time.”

“Y-Yeah. Thanks for checking, Twilight!” Sweetie left the library to face the disbelieving stares from her friends. “I...I forgot.”

Scootaloo face hoofed. “You forgot. You forgot Twilight Sparkle had her own telescope. It’s right there on the balcony, Sweetie Belle! What else did you forget?!”

“Well, Rarity’s leaving to make a personal delivery to Manehattan, so I need some place to sleep tonight. Can we stop by the boutique so I can get my sleeping bag?”

Apple Bloom looked at the blue powder in the vial she was holding. “I still can’t believe we pulled that off. Crushed poison joke, right here.”

Scootaloo smirked at her. “And you thought I would start talking like a chicken.” Apple Bloom grinned as the pegasus turned around to look down the street. That would be pretty funny. Scootaloo wasn’t looking, she had the powder ready to go...

Sweetie Belle snatched it out of her hoof. “Go on, Apple Bloom. I’m right behind you.”

Ah, so much for that idea. Apple Bloom stepped out and strolled past Ponyville's cafe, where Twilight Sparkle was enjoying a daffodil and daisy sandwich. "Howdy, Twilight!"

"Good afternoon, Apple Bloom. Lovely day we've had without those pesky meteors, isn't it?"

"Sure is!" Apple Bloom smiled as she walked past the princess. "Hey, I had a question about that story you read us the other night."

Twilight Sparkle turned in her chair to look back at Apple Bloom. "Earth Plow and the Dragon? What about it?" Sweetie Belle crept out of the alley and quietly made her way forward.

"Uh...I liked it! It's not every day you hear about the earth pony being the hero, you know?"

"Oh Apple Bloom, that's not true. The Earth Pony Protagonist is a common literary device used to generate a feeling of suspense and hopelessness in the face of an overwhelming threat, or to simply illustrate the value of brains over brawn in such a situation. In fact, the last century has really seen an explosion of critical and commercial interest in the archetype. The Fox Pony adventure series in particular has had real success in both aspects of-"

Hurry up, Sweetie Belle, HURRY UP! Apple Bloom kept an eager grin plastered on her face, but her endurance was running low. Sweetie Belle was not standing idle, however. Twilight was truly animated about this subject. The little unicorn was forced to keep her balance on the table, dodging the alicorn's wings, all while trying to spike the glass of water with the poison joke. Miraculously, she pulled it off. Sweetie Belle jumped off the table and ran back the way she came.

"-doesn't really compare with the quality of writing in the early Rein-aissance period, of course. Any other questions?"

"No! No, uh, nope! That's all I needed to know. Thanks." Apple Bloom sprinted to safety. She dove into the alley to rejoin the crusaders, not even caring if Twilight was watching. "I...I am never doing that again!"

Scootaloo patted her back. "You got that right. Milkshakes are on me tonight, girls." The pegasus peeked around the corner to check their target again. "Now all we have to do is wait for-uh, oh."

Apple Bloom felt a bolt of lightning run through her body. "What do you mean 'uh, oh?'"

Sweetie Belle joined Scootaloo at the corner. "It can't be that bad-uh, oh."

Apple Bloom groaned and trudged to join her friends. "What's happen-uh, oh."

Big Macintosh was standing in front of the cafe, picking up several overturned boxes and putting them back in his cart. He shook head after Twilight spoke to him once, twice, and a third time. As he strapped himself back to the cart, Twilight's water glass hovered out to him. He smiled and drank it all with a single gulp.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders threw themselves back against the wall. Scootaloo looked panic-stricken. "How long do we have?"

Apple Bloom trembled. "It was overnight last time. But that was when they touched it. He drank it."

The sound of Big Mac's cart grinding against the ground drew closer and closer. Sweetie Belle nervously stepped out as he passed by. “Heya, Big Mac! Are...are you feeling alright?”

Maybe it didn’t work? Maybe crushing the flower ruined the effect? Her big brother stopped and nodded at the fillies. “Verily!”

Oh, no. Four ponies stared at each other with huge eyes. Big Mac raised a hoof to his mouth. “Verily? What...what foul sorcery is this?! I speak as a jester!”

The last thing they needed was a scene like this! “E-Easy there, brother. We can fix this. You just need-“

“Thou can fix this?! What knavery hast thou wrought now?!”

Scootaloo leaned in and whispered. “Apple Bloom, what are you doing?!”

“He’s my brother; we can’t just leave him like this! Let’s just get him-“

“Keep thy distance, foals! Sister Applejack awaits these parcels, and then I shall seek counsel with the Lady Twilight-“

“NO!” The crusaders all shouted in unison and jumped on one of his hind legs to pin him in place. “No,” Scootaloo repeated, “we can fix this. Let’s get you to the spa...”

Somewhere on the edge of the Everfree Forest, a great beast made its way around Ponyville. It lumbered through the trees to remain hidden, moving on two short, thick legs. Two long arms swung at its side as it walked. With a tall, round body topped off with a bundle of leaves as hair, it could pass for a tree itself. Every step brought it closer and closer to its target. All it needed was the cover of night to advance into the town.

The legendary Sass Squash had returned.

Once, this creature stalked the orchards of the Apple family. Apple Bloom remembered how badly it frustrated her sister by evading capture while it replaced apples with squashes, though it all turned out to be a hoax. Now, however, there was no time for games. This thing was big, and it was weird, and that meant hopefully Twilight Sparkle would never see it coming.

Scootaloo grunted as she took another heavy step forward and brought the suit to life. Granny Smith did this by herself?! This enormous suit Apple Bloom mentioned sounded like a sure thing, but an hour inside the thing had her feeling like the end of an all-day training session with Rainbow Dash. Of course, the constant weight of her two friends standing on top of her didn’t help. “I’m having second thoughts about this one.”

“Too bad,” Apple Bloom snapped while swinging her forelegs to work the suit's arms. Scootaloo didn’t blame her. Big Mac was back to normal, but he was still steamed. That meant Applejack would be steamed. With Sweetie Belle looking for a place to sleep anyway, the crusaders decided to play it safe on a sleepover at the clubhouse.

“If you ask me, we shouldn’t have helped him,” the unicorn said. “Did you see how the twins blushed when he called them ‘lovely flowers of maidens?’ I think we did him a favor making him talk like that.”

“I thought we were still hoping for him and Cheerilee?”

“We are not having this conversation now,” Apple Bloom insisted. "How's it look up there, Sweetie Belle? We still on the edge of the forest?"

"Sure are! We should reach the other side by sundown, then on to Ponyville. I do have one question, though."

Scootaloo sighed. This again? "Apple Bloom told us that Applejack would recognize the suit's tracks. We don't have time to taunt Twilight with fake-"

"No, not that. How are we going to cross this stream?"

"Stream?" Apple Bloom sounded confused. "What stream? There shouldn't be a stream."

"Well, maybe you should tell it that, because it's there on our right. Would we ruin the suit if it got wet? It isn't getting any narrower."

Apple Bloom didn't answer. In fact, she was quiet for a long time. Scootaloo was getting worried. "Equestria to Apple Bloom. Everything OK?"

"Gals, did we go left or right when we left the farm?"

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me we went the wrong-" A familiar scream of surprise cut her off. “Was that who I think it was?”

"Yep. Goin' left takes us close to Fluttershy's..."

"She-She's actually coming towards us," Sweetie Belle said. "What do we do?!"

Fluttershy's soft voice called out, but Scootaloo couldn't make it out. "What did she say? Are we busted?"

"Keep your voice down! Play it cool. She thinks we're an animal."

"Well that won't last! Turn, girls, turn! I'm getting us out of here." The two fillies standing on her back shouted as Scootaloo moved the legs as fast as she could.

"Not so fast!"

"Keep it down!"

"Losin' my balance!"

"Me too!"

"EEEEEEEEK!"

The suit tipped over and landed with a dull thud. Scootaloo felt something kick and pound from the outside. "Great. Just great. We fell on her, didn't we?"

"Harry!" The girls yelped at the ear-shattering pitch of Fluttershy's scream. "Harry, help me!"

Sweetie Belle's scream matched Fluttershy's to a T. "Harry?! No! No! Now what?!"

"Get out!" Apple Bloom shouted. "We gotta get out!"

"Ow!" One of Apple Bloom's hooves dug into Scootaloo's ribs. "Stop! What are you two freaking out about?"

"Harry!" Apple Bloom shouted again. "Harry's the name of her-" A deafening roar bellowed out from behind them. "Her...her bear..."

A second roar, closer than the first, filled Scootaloo with terror. "Oh, buck. Abandon ship! Run, run, run!"

Moonlight filled the clubhouse. The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat facing each other, ignorant of their ability to turn on a light switch. Scootaloo kept her head down, unwilling to look at her friends. Her friends, for their part, must have felt the same way. A long, unbroken silence followed them ever since the Great Scolding of the Everfree Forest. Looking back, Scootaloo would have preferred going twelve rounds against Harry the Bear. Anything would have felt better than the crushing wave of disappointment Fluttershy inflicted on them.

A small voice finally entered the stillness from Sweetie Belle. “I...I just wish she was angry.”

Apple Bloom gave a wordless whine. “Applejack’ll be angry enough for the both of them.”

Scootaloo winced. Fluttershy wasn’t going to keep what happened a secret. She gave the girls a choice: either they told Twilight what was going on or she would. With two ponies knowing the story, it was a safe bet the others would too. Rarity, Applejack, even Rainbow Dash. How would her new sister react to an accidental attack on her oldest friend?

“And...and Fluttershy was right,” Apple Bloom continued. “Nothin’ good came from this. We crossed all over Ponyville planning and plotting and-and what did we really do? We just made our friends mad.”

“Well my idea didn’t make anyone mad,” Sweetie Belle said, “but you’re right. I mean, it’s a book. We’ve done all this because Twilight wouldn’t let us read a book.” The book! Scootaloo snapped her head up with wide open eyes. This was all about the book!

Apple Bloom looked troubled when she saw Scootaloo’s expression. “E-Even Rainbow Dash told us to just let it go...”

“She told me to think a few moves ahead,” Scootaloo said, starting to pace back and forth. “We gave up too soon yesterday. We did learn some things. Twilight hates being wrong...she hates it so much she tried to follow a book when a tree smashed through her house...she'll try to be right...but Twilight is out of our league...so who’s league is she...ugh!” She fell to the ground and covered her head.

Apple Bloom put a hesitant hoof on her shoulder. “You’re not making a lick of sense. Let’s try and get some sleep. We’re gonna need a doozy of an apology-“

Sleep? Sleep! Scootaloo jumped back up with a cry and paced again. “No sleep! We have work to do! Applejack said Twilight would make time for us...Fluttershy’s making us talk to her anyway...we can even see it done!”

Sweetie Belle kept her concerned eyes on Scootaloo, but spoke to Apple Bloom. “Are you following any of this?”

“Not one word.”

“Don't you get it? We just need-“ Scootaloo stopped suddenly. “Something. We need something. We need to send something to help convince her. And her.”

“Apple Bloom, she’s scaring me.”

Scootaloo turned and Sweetie Belle shrunk under her scrutiny. “Can you get us inside Rarity’s shop?”

“Y-Yes, there’s a spare key. But-“

Apple Bloom stepped in front of her. “But we’re not going anywhere till you start talking sense!”

That was fair. Scootaloo took a deep breath. “We’re going to fool Twilight, but we need help. So do I. I have an idea, but I can’t do it alone. This will be a long night, and it may not even work, and I know we've screwed up a lot, and-“

“I’m in!” Sweetie Belle smiled when Apple Bloom whirled around. “We’re already in trouble, right? How much worse can it be?”

“Lots,” Scootaloo said. She looked Apple Bloom dead in the eyes. “But this is our last chance to see this done.” She raised a hoof into the air. Sweetie Belle did the same. Apple Bloom smiled, and the three jumped up for a triple hoof slap before tearing out of the clubhouse.

Victory awaited.

Chapter 4: Victory Through Compromise

Scootaloo fought to keep sleep at bay. The slow, steady rhythm of Apple Bloom’s footsteps was the only sound inside the Carousel Boutique. Sweetie Belle was out and about in Ponyville, hopefully returning with their new accomplice. Scootaloo tightened her grip on the package she held. The package was what the three of them worked all night for. The package was their only hope, and was the result of their grit and determination.

And that stuff Sweetie Belle made for them. Coffee? Yeah, coffee. They needed some of that for the clubhouse.

Apple Bloom stopped pacing. “It’s not gonna work!”

“Why didn’t you say so before?”

“I did say so before. This can go wrong in so many ways...”

“I know.”

Apple Bloom smiled at her. “So if this doesn't work, do Sweetie Belle and I have your permission to kick you out?”

Scootaloo smiled back. “If we ever see the light of day again, yes. You can kick me out.”

“And you’re still going to trust her? She doesn’t have the best reputation at her job.”

Scootaloo chuckled. “We know her weakness, at least. She’ll listen to us.”

There was a thud against the door, and a call of “My bad!” Apple Bloom shook her head and took her position behind a counter. Sweetie Belle opened the door and entered. She was followed by a gray pegasus who smiled and waved at the girls. “Derpy Hooves, at your service!”

Scootaloo dropped her voice to a whisper as Sweetie Belle walked towards her. “Did you tell her what’s going on?”

“I told her what you told me to tell her.”

“Good.” Scootaloo held out the package for the mail mare. "So you know what to do?"

The blond-maned pony managed to roll both of her eyes. "Duh. I take the package, fly around, find the pony on the label, and give it to them. I know how the mail works."

Scootaloo ignored Sweetie Belle's giggles. "We need this done fast. Can you handle it?"

"You know this isn't normally a mail day. Your friend there mentioned something about payment..." Scootaloo nodded to her right.

Apple Bloom put a covered tray on the counter. "One dozen," she said as she lifted the lid.

The mail mare lifted one of the muffins from the tray. She turned it in her hooves, inspecting every crumb. "Brown, but not burned. Not too dry. Ohhhh, these are fresh. And that smell," she took a long sniff before gasping in surprise. "Chocolate chips! You three just hired a mail mare!"

She reached for another muffin, but Apple Bloom slammed the lid down. "After we know the package was delivered safely."

The gray pony looked back to Scootaloo. "This is a long way you're sending me. It'd be a shame if I ran out of energy..."

It wasn't that long of a way, but this was their last chance. "Half now, half when we know the delivery was made. Take it or leave it." The offer was taken, of course. Their package was out of their hooves now, and was carried in a beeline straight out of the Carousel Boutique. Which meant-

"She's going the wrong way," Sweetie Belle said.

"I noticed," Scootaloo sighed.

Apple Bloom moaned in frustration. "Now what?"

"Let’s...give her some time, but we have to go to the library," Scootaloo answered. "Fluttershy, Applejack, some pony will force our hand sooner or later. So let's go do it ourselves. Slowly."

Princess Twilight Sparkle couldn't believe what she was hearing. The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat before her, heads hanging in shame, recounting their various misdeeds of the past days. It was a heartfelt confession starting from the moment she slammed the door in their faces. She hadn't even thought of the book incident since that evening. Still, she thought it was best to let the girls get everything off their chests.

"Then we dropped poison joke in your drink. Big Mac talking funny was us too."

"So we tried to scare you with a Sass Squash suit, but we took a wrong turn and scared Fluttershy."

"She, um, caught us and told us we needed to straighten this out. So, here we are."

Twilight was silent for a moment. Three attempted pranks, and the girls tried to use her friends' knowledge of her against her. "All of this...because of me? Girls, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I'm sorry-"

"No," Scootaloo interrupted, "don't. It's all my fault. I made too big a deal about it that night, and it was my idea to start this."

"It's my fault," Apple Bloom insisted. "I didn't think this was a good idea at first, but I went along with it anyway. My friends needed me to talk some sense into them, and I let them down."

"Girls, you know this was my fault. I...wait." Sweetie Belled scratched her head. "What did I do?"

Twilight smiled down at the crusaders. "I haven't even-"

"Oh! I was the one who summoned Madame Pinkie!"

She...summoned...it was probably better not to ask. "Girls, I haven't even thought about that night. I'm so glad you listened to Fluttershy. It's always best to talk with each other before little problems become big ones."

Sweetie Belle nodded. "We've learned not to hold a grudge. It's worthless. The pony you're holding it against probably doesn't even know about it."

"And we've learned not to take advantage of some pony's generosity," Apple Bloom added. "They're trying to do something for you out of the goodness of their heart. You shouldn't hurt them for it."

Scootaloo looked to the ground, rubbing one of her legs with a hoof. "Just because you're a princess and really special now doesn't give us the right to ask special favors from you."

Sweetie Belle looked up with big, sad eyes. "Please don't hate us?"

"Hate you?" Twilight laughed and wrapped the girls in her front legs and wings, holding them close. "I could never hate you! You're welcome here anytime! Watching you three grow up like this is a joy!" Twilight gasped as an idea struck her. She grinned excitedly as she loosened her hug on the crusaders. "Why don't you three write a letter to Princess Celestia? It's been so long since she's read a report on the magic of friendship. She'll be thrilled!"

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!"

Right on cue, Spike belched somewhere in the library. The girls started giggling. Apple Bloom answered Twilight's questioning look. "We've, uh, heard about Spike burping like that, but we've never actually heard it before."

The little dragon ran into the main room, waving a scroll. "Letter from Princess Celestia! Should I read it now?"

"Go ahead, Spike. The girls might need you for a minute afterwards."

Spike straightened the scroll and began to read. "My Dearest Princess Twilight Sparkle, you simply must forgive this...wait, what?"

"Spike, you've never stopped reading before! That is a letter from our teacher, friend, and reigning monarch! Interruptions simply won't do."

The dragon quickly read through the letter. "If you say so." He cleared his throat, and started again. "You simply must forgive this foolish old mare, but like all ponies my age, I find myself thinking back on younger times. I can’t help but recall your earliest days under my wing. To see you now, I am very proud of the princess you have become. It has always been a pleasure of mine to watch my students grow. I hope, dear Twilight, that you will find the same pleasure. Teaching our subjects, be they young or old or great or small, is a privilege that you should take advantage of. You do, after all, live in a library. Don’t be stingy with the books! Yours, Princess Celestia." Spike finished and rolled the scroll back up.

Twilight blinked. "Wait, what?"

"That's what I said."

She looked down at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who looked as confused as she was. Then 1, 2, 3, they smiled up at her. Scootaloo had an eager glint in her eye. "Can...Can we borrow that book? Please?"

This was uncanny. "Spike, are you sure that's from Princess Celestia?"

"Totally. I've seen more of her letters than you have. This is her writing."

The girls smiled wider. What were the odds? She glanced back to Spike. He pored over letter again and shrugged his shoulders. Teaching is a privilege. If any pony knew that, it was Princess Celestia. The girls...they did learn some valuable lessons. Celestia always rewarded her when she did that. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she could trust them after all.

Twilight lit her horn and summoned a book. The Cutie Mark Compendium floated down and rested in the air in front of the crusaders. Scootaloo grabbed it, but the purple aura did not disappear. "You promise to take care-"

"Yes! Yes, we promise! Thank you, Twilight!" Twilight lowered her spell, and two of the girls galloped out of the library. Sweetie Belle jumped up and hugged her around the neck before chasing her friends.

"Hey, this is weird."

"Huh? What's weird, Spike?"

"Here, on the back of the scroll. It says 'From the Desk of Princess Celestia.' They only say that on fliers, or mass announcements, or something like that. I've never seen it on a private letter."

Twilight pulled the scroll over and examined it herself. "That is weird..."

In the gleaming city of Canterlot, Princess Celestia strolled through the castle halls on her way to her office. The door leading inside opened before she could reach it, and Celestia was surprised by the exit of a certain pony. The pony turned to walk away before Celestia called out. "Sister! Did you need me for something?"

Princess Luna looked back equally surprised. "Oh! Good morning, Tia. No, I was just looking for my favorite quill."

"And you left it in my office?"

"Apparently not," Luna answered with a smile. "I'll check my room again. Have a good day, sister." The Princess of the Night left a confused Celestia in her wake. True to her word, she returned to her room, but she didn't look for a quill.

A package was lying on her bed. A letter signed by young Scootaloo was on her nightstand. The message was quite simple. She explained the situation and offered the contents of the package as a gift. In exchange, all she wanted was a letter sent through little Spike signed by Princess Celestia. And what a gift it was!

Luna threw the crimson cape around her shoulders. The deep red, the bright yellow underneath, the blue patch resembling a cutie mark, it was a beautiful piece. And it fit perfectly! What craftsmanship from three little fillies! Luna turned and admired her reflection in a mirror. Perhaps she would wear it to the next Grand Galloping Gala...