The Sage

So that was it then. He'd gone insane. He never expected it to happen this way. He always thought it would happen poetically, him accepting his fate, giving some inspirational words, and slowly losing his mind. Tragic. But of all the things he thought he would see whilst going utterly insane, none of them even came close to ponies.

Okay, some of them did. Fine, most of them. Okay, all of them. He thought My Little Pony was an awesome show. Fictional. Meaning made up. Equestria wasn't real, and neither were these ponies. Eric decided that he would embrace his insanity and live among his hallucinations peacefully. So, he walked across his room, sat on his bed, and opened his laptop. Eric turned on his laptop only to find that it was dead. "I thought the charger was plugged in," he thought to himself. He looked at the outlet next to his bed, to find that the charger was, to his dismay, not plugged in. He sighed gruffly and turned his gaze to the six ponies before him. The Mane Six, as they were called, were the main group of friends that premiered every Saturday. Eric knew almost everything about them. The main thing he was unaware of was most of the ponies' ages, but he did know that Rainbow Dash, the pegasus hovering in the air across his room, had turned 21 very recently. He found this out by counting the "birthaversary" candles on Dash's cake in the episode "Pinkie Pride". All six of them were staring at Eric, eyes widened in shock. Twilight Sparkle was the first to come forward and speak. Her horn glowed a bright purple, and a small sheet of paper levitated out of her saddlebags- Eric hadn't noticed them before- and floated in front of her, covered in an aura of the same color. She read as she spoke, leading Eric to believe that she was reading from a script.

"Greetings, human. I am Tw-"

The alicorn was cut short by Eric's interjection, as he simply wished to find out what his hallucinations wanted with him.

"Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn Princess, wielder and embodiment of the Element of Magic, formerly Princess Celestia's student, sister of Shining Armor, sister-in-law of Princess Cadance, lives in a library along with Spike the dragon."

The lavender mare's jaw dropped. Could he read minds? Was there actually magic in the human world? Was he some sort of superhuman? Many other questions swam through Twilight's mind like a raging whirlwind, but one stood out above all else:

How did he know?!

She shook off her stupor and addressed her main inquiry, asking how in the hay Eric knew these things about her. He simply smiled and said, "A magician never reveals his secrets."

"So there is magic in the human world?" Twilight narrowed her eyes in curiosity. There was something different about this human.

"Nope, I simply....have my ways." Eric replied coyly. He could have fun with this. Meanwhile, the other five ponies were still in shock, their confusion refreshed by Eric's extensive knowledge of their friend. However, Rainbow Dash was not one to be left wondering. She snapped herself out of her speechlessness and closed the gap between Eric's face and hers in an instant, beating her wings in a continuous rhythm. "Twilight asked how you know all of this. Answer us." She snarled.

"Calm down," Eric replied in the most level voice he could muster. "You'll have your questions answered...after mine are. First of all, am I insane? Second of all, why are you here? And finally, why me?"

At this, Twilight stepped forward, pulling Rainbow Dash out of Eric's face. She glared at the cyan pegasus, then turned her gaze back to Eric. "For your first question, no, you're not insane. For your second and third questions, Princess Celestia gave us orders to retrieve a human named Eric Jacobsen. You are Eric Jacobsen, right?" To this, Eric nodded his head, confirming Twilight's thoughts. She continued, "She didn't give us a reason, but we are to..." Twilight levitated a scroll out of her saddlebags and opened it with a crisp snap. She read, "'This letter is of the utmost importance. Locate Eric Jacobsen and transport him to the castle. Use whatever means necessary to bring him here. Signed, Princess Celestia.'" Twilight rolled up the scroll and stuffed it back into her saddlebag. "Does that answer your questions?" She inquired.

Eric froze. This meant that..... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! The other four ponies, already shaken out of their stupors, were watching him intently, eager to see where the situation would go. However, Eric had other plans for the mares, and addressed them each. He asked them if they had any questions. All of them did. They all started at once, and Eric didn't know whose questions to answer first, so he quieted the room down and said, "Each of you has two questions you can ask me. I will go from left to right, starting with Rainbow Dash." The mare was slightly surprised at Eric's knowledge of her name, but asked her questions nonetheless.

She pressed, "Why are you so okay with us being here, and...can humans fly?"

Eric was amused at her questions, and answered, "I originally thought I was going insane because you guys don't exist in this world. I decided that if I truly was losing my mind, I would embrace my hallucinations and live with them peacefully all poetic like. Also, although we can't fly, we do have machines that can, and have to be operated by humans. In fact, some of these machines can go faster than the speed of sound very easily. I'm sure you know what that feels like, right Dashie?" Eric used Pinkie Pie's name for Rainbow Dash for added effect. The mare was taken aback, and her face turned from one of curiosity to one of suspicion.

"How did you know about the Sonic Rainboom?" she asked furrowing her brow, but Eric smiled wryly and said, "Only two questions, Rainbow." The pegasus stepped back, disconcerted. Eric turned to Applejack, asking her for her two questions. She asked hurriedly, "Do you humans have apples here, an' are they good? Ah was just wonderin', seein' how y'all humans seem ta have almost everythin' us ponies do and more...." At this, Eric got a bright idea. He said in a rushed voice to the mares, "Stay here, I'll be right back!" At this, he jogged out of his room, making sure the door was closed, and ran downstairs to the kitchen. He threw open the fridge, looking around fervently. "There they are!" His eyes lit up as he saw the bag of assorted apples. His mother bought them just yesterday, so they should still taste fresh. He looked inside. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, and Granny Smith apples shined like jewels in the bag before him. He ran upstairs with his prize and into his room, closing the door behind him. He turned to Applejack, pulled out a Golden Delicious, and tossed it to her. She caught it, eyeing it hungrily. Eric passed the apples out to the rest of the ponies, leaving a single Granny Smith for himself. He sat back down on his bed and took a bite. It was amazing! He hoped Applejack and the rest liked theirs too. He grinned and said in his best Southern accent, "That answer yer question, sugarcube?"

Applejack looked up at Eric, eyebrows raised. "Ah guess you DO know a lot about us, huh?" At this Eric cleared his throat and, in his best Big Macintosh imitation, confirmed, "Eeyup." The earth pony froze for a moment, then smiled. Eric then turned to Rarity. He stood up, and extravagantly bowed towards the white mare. She looked like she was anxious to say something, but he couldn't tell what it was. "Miss Rarity, I am ready for your inquiries," Eric said in his best Alfred voice. The unicorn blushed and looked away, but quickly regained her composure and said in a demanding tone, "First of all, if you humans don't have magic, then what is powering that?" At this, she promptly pointed towards Eric's desk lamp. "It's complicated," He replied with a small nod, "What's your other question?"

Rarity couldn't hold it anymore. She had to know. "Secondly.....WHAT IS THAT?!" She cried as her horn glowed a bright shade of blue, gesturing frantically towards Eric's nightstand. He saw a faint glow from inside, and opened the drawers to find that a small turquoise bag was the source of the light. He opened the drawstrings to see his quartz crystal enveloped in the same color aura as Rarity's horn. "This?" Eric inquired, pointing to the rock. Rarity fervently nodded and trotted closer to it, saying in a rushed voice, "Yes! I've never seen anything like it before, and I MUST know its name!"  "Rarity, this is called Himalayan Quartz," Eric replied, surprised that ponies didn't have an equivalent of the crystal in Equestria.

The unicorn fixated her eyes on the crystal in wonder, marveling at its smooth sides and complexion. Eric pocketed the crystal, cutting Rarity's gawking to an awkward close. She blushed, clearly embarrassed at her dramatic reaction to the rock. She stepped back into the circle of ponies. But two were missing. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. "Fluttershy?" Eric called, assuming that she would have questions about human anatomy or the wildlife of Earth. In reply, he heard a tiny whimper from under his bed. He pulled away the covers to reveal a shaking Fluttershy......as well as some assorted and rather unsightly wrappers.

"Fluttershy, please get out from under there. I'm not here to hurt you, I was wondering if you had any questions for me," Eric replied to the nearly hysterical although admittedly adorable Fluttershy. She crawled out from under Eric's bed, still shaking from this strange encounter. Eric, nervous that his attempts to suppress a d'awwww were bound to fail, asked, "Fluttershy, would you like to know anything about humans or wildlife? You can ask two questions." Fluttershy nodded her head hesitantly, and began in a shaky voice, "I-I'd like to know what w-wildlife this planet has. I h-haven't heard anything about this planet yet. F-for my other question, I-I'd like to know what you call this p-planet...." She trailed off. "We call this planet Earth," Eric replied, making sure to emphasize the name. "And apart from ponies and some other creatures, as far as I know Equestria and Earth have the same wildlife." At this, Fluttershy's teal eyes widened. She was surprised- almost the same wildlife? She still had so many questions about what ponies had that they didn't, but abided by the two-question rule.

Eric looked around for Pinkie Pie, but to no avail. He realized what that could mean, and so lifted up his hand and counted down on his fingers from three. The moment he hit one, the party pony leapt out from under his.......pillow? How did she even- Eric cut his thoughts short, reminding himself not to question PInkie Pie. She landed squarely in front of Eric before shouting, "HIMYNAMEISPINKIEPIEBUTIKNOWYOUKNOWTHATSOHERE'SMYPARTYCANNON!" Before Eric has a chance to comprehend what Pinkie said, she reached behind her and whipped out a pink and blue cannon, pointed it straight at Eric's face, and unleashed a fury of confetti, streamers, and balloons. Eric's face became a colorful mess of paper and ribbons, which he wiped away before asking Pinkie what her questions were. She looked Eric dead in the eye, with the most serious face he had ever seen, and asked in an unnervingly level voice, "I have one question. Do. You. Have. Parties." Eric answered, "We do, and they're awesome," to which Pinkie Pie joyfully whooped and bounced in circles.

The questions were over, and Twilight stepped forward to make sure Eric was okay with leaving. He paused and looked at his laptop. It got him thinking of everything he could show the ponies, all the technological advancements he could spur simply by showing devices to them and explaining how they could work, Equestria would be modernized! Advanced! Better in every way! But then his thought wandered to darker ides of the story. That was exactly what humans thought, and it didn't work out so well for them. Ponies may go the way of humans, deforesting, polluting, creating corrupt political systems and corporations. New advances in weapons technology could lead to wars, and in a world of magic, that might end worse than any human war could. Eric wasn't sure. Should he be the catalyst for an industrialized Equestria and risk the simplistic life that he longed for every Saturday? The answer to Eric, however selfish.....was no.