//-------------------------------------------------------// The Courage of feelings -by TheCreativeWonderDash- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Nightmare //-------------------------------------------------------// Nightmare I was at my house with Synth and we were discussing Hearts and hooves day which was tomorrow. “So I’m just gonna tell her how I feel and if I actually do it you have to tell Charisma that you like her.” When Synth finished that sentence I felt my face heat up and I was blushing. “O… OK” I said stumbling on my words hoping that Synth would not do it. We were at my house, we always met up there. I was in my room which was cozy. It had colorful fuzzy rugs, multicolored pillows and an orange coated wall with a hint of blue. I was pretty much a creative pony who liked a variety of colors. “Well… since hearts and hooves day is tomorrow we better prepare.” I said giving a sigh in my mind thinking about what I would do tomorrow if things went well. We decided to just discuss our plans about tomorrow and I was a bit nervous too! I was actually pretty glad to go over it again. You know, to make sure. “So how do you think it is going to play out Flicker? Plus how should I start?” I hated being the one in charge because I felt like no leader. I had a feeling that I would always mess up somehow, though I was good at giving advice. I gave a sigh as I thought out a plan. “Well… I guess it would probably go something like this. Besides, the past few days I've been thinking about this before I went to bed and I almost got a plan sorted ou-” I was cut of by Synth. “W…wait a second… you think about this when you’re about to sleep?” Synth said surprised. “U-um… yeah.” I said ashamed, blushing. “It’s ok though, I do too!” Synth said, though she probably didn't mean to say it because she tried to take that back. “I mean… I mean no I don’t!” She said blushing. “Ok, it doesn't matter!” I shouted, trying to get Synth’s attention. “The plan I decided is, well when you get to school wait till lunch since you have lunch with her. Just go sit with her and talk. Then just tell her everything over the loud noise so it won’t be as hard. But, if you want to be more romantic do it in between classes or after school and maybe get her a gift or something.” “Yeah that’s a good idea!” Synth said with excitement. “I might get her a gift, I’ll think about it.” Though Synth said it was a good idea, to me it felt like a pretty lame idea. I scratched my red and aqua mane trying to think of more advice but I was all out. I was just thinking to myself so it was pretty awkward.  Luckily, Synth broke the silence. “Ok well… I better get going, it’s pretty late. Plus, its gonna be an important day tomorrow so I’ll need to get plenty of rest.” Synth said as she started to head out the door packing her things. “Yeah same here!” I said. Seconds later you could here hoof steps and the door closing. I looked out the window and saw it was pretty dark, only 8:30 Pm though. I jumped into my bed and pulled the blanket over and prepared for bed. As I did my daily night routine I kept thinking about tomorrow and mostly Charisma, the thought made me blush. She was like the perfect one, she was basically like me. She was serious at some times, had a good sense of humor and was a hard worker. Usually when I lay in bed I think about my life and other events, but today I found myself thinking about Charisma more than before. I maybe even thought about dating her, but I barely even talked to her. We knew each other for years but neither of us even bothered to speak up. I always wanted to say something to her but I was either shy or self conscious of her words, so tomorrow I would make sure I would make it happen. Minutes past as I thought about life and I found myself falling asleep. The world was drifting out of sight and I was hoping I would have a nice people dream about my crush, but I was wrong. I was dreaming, of course. I was in a place, but it was too dark to see where I was. I heard voices in the background and decided to check it out. Even though I couldn't see the ponies I could already tell who they were. I could tell that one of the voices was Synth because she had that voice that was different from any other ponies. The other voice was hard to make out though because it was whispering. I tried to tune in to the conversation to see what it was about. “So are you sure Flicker will not know about this?’ I heard Synth whisper. She was a good speaker but know matter what she couldn't even whisper because it came out as if she was regularly talking. I tried to make out what the other voice was saying, but it was hard to make out. In my mind I thought it said “She’ll never find out, so why bother?” But when I tried to listen any more the voices disappeared and I was left in darkness. I tried to walk around in nothing excepting for something to happen but was left with the darkness. I tried to open my mouth to yell or something but I was silent and for some reason couldn't talk. Then all of a sudden there was a loud bang and I saw images coming together one by one. I was at school; it didn't really look much different though it was just dark and peaceful. At least now I could see where I was going, I thought in my mind. I walked around trying not to trip over cans and other trash. I wondered why I was taken to my school, because whenever I had nightmares they always had some kind of message that made no sense. As I crossed the huge field where ponies would play I noticed Synth with some other pony that I couldn't identify because they were wearing a hat that covered their face. I hid in the bushes so they didn't notice I was there, and then I tried to listen to the conversation once again. “So…. You just want to do it here?” I heard Synth say unsure of the decision. The other pony just gave a nod and continued whispering. “What if Fli….” Synth was cut off by a hoof that silenced her mouth as if to say Stop asking questions! I tried to get closer to the 2 ponies trying to be as stealthy as possible when I heard a pony call my name. I could recognize the voice, it was soft, lovely, had a nice tone and was smooth, it was Charisma. I was both surprised and was full of joy, what was she doing? “Synth, do it!” Charisma said now talking in a regular tone with joy in her voice.” Well… this might not end well, I thought. “B…But…..Flicker” Synth tried to protest but Charisma didn't care. Synth looked my way unsure of how she knew where I was hiding. “I… I’m sorry Flicker.” Synth said, like she was about to cry.  What could it be? I thought in my head, but then when I saw the next thing my confusion turned into anger as I saw Synth kissing Charisma. She even knew I liked her! I thought in my head, and she kissed her! She looked like she was even enjoying it! I just wanted to go over there, punch her and take Charisma, but I stopped myself. I thought about what Synth said “I… I’m sorry Flicker.” Was Charisma forcing her to do this?  I just watched in anger as I saw my friend kiss my crush. When Synth pulled away from Charisma I could see her looking kind of… what, afraid? Well I guess she would be afraid because she would think I would go over there and tear her apart but I didn't. I used my wings to fly over there and I could here Synth yell “Please! I didn't mean too do it! I didn't even want to.” But what I did was I sat by her and said “I'm not mad.” I said calmly and Synth's face was puzzled. Behind me I heard hoof steps and realized it was Charisma, I looked behind me with the most confused face. “Well…. Flicker.” She said. “You should be mad because……..” The words started to sound like far away echoes and I couldn't understand anything she was saying. When I realized what was happening I knew that I was waking up and remembered I was dreaming. I heard a loud buzzing and in an instant my eyes shot up awake. I looked at the clock and it was 6:50 Am, it was time for school. I turned off the alarm clock and knew it was Hearts and hooves day. //-------------------------------------------------------// Advice from a "Friend" //-------------------------------------------------------// Advice from a "Friend" I just laid in bed for a couple of minutes to think about what just happened. I just wanted to stay at home for the entire day because I was afraid my dream might come true. Now that I had that dream it now feels like it would be a lot harder to tell Charisma everything. The more I thought about the dream, the more worried I became that it might come true. But I knew that Synth wouldn't really kiss her, well hopefully. Besides, she already likes somepony else so why would she try to go for Charisma. I tried to recall the last few words of my dream about what Charisma said but I just couldn't remember. She said that I should be mad but I couldn't make out what she said after that because it was a blur. My mom was calling from downstairs to get ready for school and I just answered a quick 5 minutes. This is usually how I start the day, yelling at my mom to make me some breakfast while I fall asleep again and that’s what just happened. I noticed I was starting to doze off and immediately sat upright with my eyes open. I didn't want to have another nightmare like that so I decided to actually get ready for school. First I got out of bed, usually the hardest part for me. Then I went to the bathroom to freshen up and brush my teeth. I decided since it was Hearts and hooves day I should look nice. I found the brush on the floor and doused it in water, and then I brushed my mane carefully trying to make it as styled as possible. I tried for a variety of hair styles but just ended up keeping the old one. I continued to brush my mane more to get it shiny and normal. I looked at the bathroom walls, which were tiled all around which made it look kind of weird. After I was done I set the brush down and rushed out of the bathroom. I didn't really have much time since school would start at 7:30. I took a quick glance at the clock, 7:00. Ok I still have time, I thought. I rushed down stairs and greeted my mom who made a delicious blueberry pancake with the syrup oozing down making my mouth water. I immediately started digging in savoring every bite. My mom didn't always make pancakes, but when she does they are always delicious. “Hey Flicker.” My mom said. “Isn't today Hearts and hooves day?” “Yes!” I said with a mouthful of pancakes in my mouth. “Why are you so excited?” My mom asked anxiously. “Do you have a special somepony?” When she said that I could feel myself blushing, and she probably noticed to, which was a dead giveaway that said “Of course I have a special somepony!” “N…N…No!” I yelled at my mom making me embarrassed, blushing more furiously. But she probably knew because she gave me a grin like she knew something was up. “Come on Flicker!” My mom said. “You can trust me!” I started to back away and go up the stairs to get my saddle bags and school stuff, finishing the last bites of the pancake. “L…listen mom, I’ll tell you everything after school. K?” I said rushing off upstairs hoping to avoid any more embarrassing conversations from my mom. I went upstairs in my room as I ran to the closet. I had to also have nice clothes so I had to choose carefully, though it kind of wasn't that hard because I didn't really have much nice dresses. I looked carefully examining each one wondering which one could fit the perfect occasion. I looked through a line of clothes seeing tons of dresses but it didn't really fit the occasion. Some dresses were either to bright or too plain and I found it hard to make a decision and I thought of just buying a brand new dress. But after a long moment of looking I decided to pick a shiny blue dress that had a pattern of white stripes all around. It wouldn't be the first choice but, it was okay. I also picked a matching pair of shiny blue boots that had a white striped pattern going around it. As I was fitting on the dress my mind wondered other thing like, I wonder what Charisma was going to where? Or what will she think of my dress? I was clumsily putting on the dress now as I was thinking about Charisma and at the same moment all I heard was a RIPPPP. I was horrified as I looked down at my half torn dress, what would I wear now? I was panicking as lots of thoughts came into my mind. I rushed downstairs to my mom who was now serving herself to some blueberry pancakes, probably mine. “Mom!” I cried. “I ripped my dress!!!” When she looked up all she saw was me in tears and a dress that was torn in half and her smile instantly faded. She rushed towards me grabbing the dress from me examining it. “How did this happen honey?” She questioned. “Well…. When I was putting it on, I wasn't paying attention… and it… ripped.” I said staring at the ripped dress. “Flicker, you have to be careful! This was very expensive; luckily I know a pony who could fix it.” She immediately rushed towards door then stopped and faced me. “Why don’t you visit your friend while I get back?” She said smiling. “You still have time before school starts!” Then she left to get my dress fixed. Hopefully she could fix it, I thought. Well of course she could fix it! She’s like the best mom ever! I went outside as I looked at the crowded city of Manehattan. There were ponies everywhere trying to get to place to place. There was building and houses everywhere that if I tried to count them I probably would lose count. I walked a few blocks trying to dodge busy ponies trying to get to my friends house.  After a lot of dodging ponies and getting yelled at, I finally arrived at my friend’s house; it was turquoise and had beautiful glass windows on the front. I approached the house and knocked on the door with my hooves. I waited a few seconds and was met with a pink unicorn with a black and sky blue mane. “Hey, Mila!” I said as Mila invited me inside to her house. The inside was in total chaos and was messy like somepony threw a party. There was ripped paper and broken furniture on the floor. “Sorry for the mess, I just had a fight with my parents. Though that doesn't matter… just tell me why you’re here?” Mila said casually. Really, it doesn't matter? If it had to do with family then it was important. I wanted to ask her what happened but I knew I shouldn't because it probably was something personal. We both continued to walk through the messy house until we reached a white door that had a piece of paper, though Mila snatched it out of my sight right when I noticed it. Before I entered her room I took a good look around and realized something…. Her parents were gone. It probably had to do with the fight, I thought. Though why would they leave there kid alone with no food or anything, the thought made me angry. But before I could rush over to her parents and give them a stare down, Mila, grabbed my hoof and pulled me into her room saying “Hurry up!” I looked in her room and I was just amazed. I've known her for a while and didn't know her artistic ability was that GOOD.  I looked at the walls and noticed all the abstract art and colors mixed together that made it blend well. There was a painting of her cutie mark, which was a heart within a book. I think her cutie mark should be a paint brush, because she’s so good! ”Whoa this is awesome!” I finally said still admiring the art. “Thanks!” She said blushing. “Anyways… what did you want to tell me?” She said and I could still see her holding the paper in her hooves, but she probably knew I saw it because she hid it behind her back. “Well I don’t know how to start this…” I said trailing of unsure if I should actually tell her. Mila just stared at me confused trying to figure out what I was going to say. “Do you have any dating advice?” I blurted out finally. All I could see was Mila blushing with an expression that said wow; I’m so surprised you asked ME. She just started at me for a few seconds and then realized what I just said. “W…what… me?” She replied confused. “Yes you! Now do you have any advice… because there’s this… mare I like…?” I said struggling to get the last part out, because what would she think if I liked mares. But she was totally fine with it and just said “Oh…” like she was disappointed. Does she… Nahhhh, I thought. “Well...how do I even talk to her?” I continued. “I barely even know anything about her and I like her.” I said sitting down on one of the chairs. “I think what you should do is… well get to know her first then maybe, try to be her… mare friend.” She said not meeting my eyes and looking at the floor. Today she seemed to be acting different and not casual like just the days where we would talk and have fun. Today it felt, awkward and it never felt awkward when I visited her “Plus, since it’s hearts and hooves day today how am I gonna tell her everything?” For the next few seconds we just sat there in silence as Mila waited thinking what to say. Don’t get me wrong, she is good at advice but today she seemed so off edge like something really bad was bothering her. But then I thought back to when I arrived and I almost forgot about Mila and the fight with her parents. That might be the reason she was acting different.  I decided that I should go easy on her and try not to pressure her to much. I heard a voice speak up and then I realized that Mila was talking. “You could always just give her a thoughtful gift and just find a time in school and tell her.” “Yeah… I guess.” I said. “But, what if she says no? I’m not ready for that.” I said realizing what I was saying. Come on Flicker, stop being afraid! It’s not that hard, just go talk to her and then walk away it’s that simple. Though it sounded easy in my mind it seemed harder to actually go and do it. I quickly glanced at the clock, 7:15 I had to hurry up so I could get my dress and look good for Charisma. “Listen Flicker, it doesn't matter if she says no. It matters that you tell her how you feel because well… if you don’t you will never know and somepony well end up taking her away from you and you’ll lose your only chance.” Mila said with her voice soft and her front hoof around my neck. I just sat there like an idiot staring into Mila’s eyes thinking of a response but in just a second I felt a warm sensation. My mind was fully awake and felt my heart pounding hard. I don’t think I ever had this feeling except when I was around Charisma. When I decided to open my eyes I don’t even know what was happening. I was feeling excited, surprised and confused at the same time. I just realized that Mila had kissed me. I instantly pulled away leaving the warm lips of Mila. “Im so… so sorry, Flicker!” Mila said blushing. “I just don’t know what I was thinking… I-I was just caught up in the moment and…” I stopped Mila. “I know… you have feelings for me and well… im sorry but I just don’t feel the same way. I already have my eyes set on a pony and I just can’t be with you.” I said and I felt like I was dead inside. I just rejected my friend and I was just gonna leave her broken hearted. I waved my friend goodbye and the last thing I saw before I closed the door was her breaking down in to tears with the piece of paper in her hooves, and I realized if I even made the right choice.