The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 1

As the Dovahkiin awoke, he realised he was in a library of some sort, with thousands of books lining the walls. As he looked around at his surroundings a little more he realised that, while the walls were made of wood, none of it looked carved. He deduced that either the owner of this house was extremely good at art and decoration, making it look like the inside of a tree, or he was actually inside a tree, which he thought was pretty cool.

 Then as he tried to get up he realised that couldn’t move, he tried to squirm his way out but his body was enveloped in a purple aura. It hurt like a bitch but just as he was about to break through, a purple animal came through the door. She stated to speak.

 “Uhm, excuse me but could you stop moving about, it will only hurt for a while.” said the purple quadruped, who seemed perplexed at his constant fighting.

 “I am going to give you ONE chance to explain your reasons for trapping me, and if I find the answer insufficient, I will kill you.” he said cooly, meaning every word.

 “You are in no place to be threatening me, I have your weapons, armour and you are paralysed from the neck down, and even if you were able to break through, the princess will be here in a minute, and she will easily deal with you.” she smugly said, almost daring him to do it.

 “Well don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning bitch, but just because you have me incapacitated, does not mean that I cannot do anything about it.” He gave her a sly smile as he said his answer to her.

 “Oh really, what are you going to do, shout at me until I let you go.” She almost laughed at her little joke

“Oh something like that, but by the nine you talk too bloody much.”

“FUS RO DAH” he shouted, landing a full force hit on the quadruped, making her lose her grip on her magic.

 As he got up he realised that she had put his armour next to the bedside, well that was a mistake. He hastily put on his armour and weapons as he made his way out the door.

 But as he was walking outside he was suddenly blinded by a bright light, and there in front of him, was a mother fucking unicorn with wings. He had seen a lot of strange things in his journey, from Werewolf lovers to a woman asking him to “Wabbajack” her, but this right here took the cake. As she approached him he felt himself paralyzed again, but this time he couldn’t talk. She lifted him up using some form of magic, emanating from her horn. As she picked him up she carried him into the library, where she locked the door and place him on a seat.

 It was at this point that the purple one from earlier had decided to enter the room, looking frantically around for something. She then noticed the larger white horse and almost bowed down before her.

 “Oh Princess! I am so sorry, but before you came, the strange beast knocked me unconscious and fled, but don’t worry, me and the girls will find him soon enough.” said the purple horse, obviously crazy at the fact that she had lost him.

 “Do not worry my faithful student, I apprehended him as he tried to escape the house, in fact he is sitting right over there.” said the horse, calming the younger one.

 She now started to walk over to him, checking him over and taking off his weapons and armour using a very advanced form of telekinesis. She then started to inspect him further, prodding and poking, trying to figure out as much as she could. After doing this for about 10 minutes she stepped back and turned to the smaller one,

“So Twilight, do you think I should un-gag him and ask him a few questions?” said the white one, but it already seemed she knew the answer.

 “Normally Princess, I am all for learning about new things, but this one is different, when he finally spoke, after conversing with me in perfect Equestrian he then shouted a form of energy at me, it was like a form of magic I had never seen!” said the student, almost shaking at the memory, who the Dovahkiin could not blame, it is quite a harrowing experience.

 “Do not worry my faithful student, I am here and I will not let anything happen to you.” said the large one, still looking at the Dovahkiin, but this time more inquisitively.

 “Alright then princess, but only because you are here.” said the small one, still obviously not over what happened, but calming a little at her mentor’s words.

 And at that he felt the invisible gag fall away, but as it did he screamed out so many profanities that even Sanguine would find it a little excessive.

 “THE FUCK?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE SHITS, WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND THEN RAPE YOUR CORPSES, I WILL PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN, WEAR IT LIKE A BODY GLOVE, ROLL AROUND IN SOME BROKEN GLASS AND THEN PUT IT BACK ON YOU AND PUSH YOU DOWN A HILL,” he then stopped for a breath, and the continued. “AND YOU, MISS BIG TALL AND MIGHTY, HOW ABOUT I KILL YOUR FAMILY AND SEND THEM OFF TO BE MADE INTO GLUE, OR ON SECOND THOUGHT, I WILL RIP OFF EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOUR APPENDAGES, THEN I WILL EAT THEM, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, KEEPING YOU ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE ME SHIT THEM OUT!” he then finished, exhausted at the shouting he had just done.

 The mentor and her student just looked on in horror at what he just said, paralyzed in fear. The larger one then composed herself and leaned forward.

“Well, now that that is out of the way, and will never happen again, we can get started.”

 She then sat down opposite me, and started to ask questions.

 “What is your name?”

“Prisoner.”

“Let me try again, What is your name?”

“I do not know, but my actions speak for myself.”

“Moving on, what is your reason for being in Equestria?”

“Why don’t you tell me! I did not want to come here, I wanted to be in Sovngarde drinking mead with heroes of legend, but NOO, a rather pissed off god had to send me to this colourful shithole.”

“What do you mean, ‘He sent you here.’, who?”

“A dragon- God-Thing, he sent me here to keep me alive so I could not come back and kill him.”

“Fine, Why did you attack my student?”

“Because I woke up, and she was lauding over me. She also had me restrained, what did you think I was going to do?”

“That still does not excuse the fact that you assaulted her, I want you to apologise.”

“How about, Fuck no, I think that has a good ring to it, don’t you?”

“I command you, as ruler of this land, to apologise.”

“I would not care if you are the High Queen of Nirn, there is no way in Oblivion that I am going to acknowledge any fault on my part in this whole debacle .” He said firmly

“I COMMAND YOU TO DO IT.” she changed her voice to one of a higher magnitude, pushing a weak force against his face.

“You want a shouting match, go ask your friend what happened last time I tried that.

“I still expect you to do it.” she had lowered her voice, making it a more acceptable level

“Yeah, well isn’t that too fucking bad. I gave my life to save my people, became the hero they wanted me to be, trained hard at everything, magic, archery, hand to hand combat and sword fighting. I became the head of every guild I had heard of, The college of Winterhold, The Companions, The Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves Guild. What in the name of Talos do you expect me to do?! Apologise to some lowly being, who brought the wrath of the gods upon herself? I am the nine’s shield and sword! I do their bidding and they graced me with the dragon blood. So to answer your question, one last time, FUCK YOU!” that last outburst really made him tired, he would have never think to have himself utter these words, but

 “Fuck me, am I getting tired of shouting.”

“Fine, I will allow you this once to refrain from apologising, but I would like something in return from you?”

“What?” He replied, obviously nervous at the question

 “I want you to explain your story to me, tell me everything.”

 And so reluctantly, he explained how he cannot remember anything from before his attempted execution. He went on to explain his story about how he found out he was the Dovahkiin, able to channel the dragon’s power into the form of a shout. He then went onto explain the struggles between the Thalmor and the Empire, and a basic history of the Empire-Stormcloak War, why he had chosen the Stormcloaks, but the reasons why he really wasn’t mad at the Empire, only the Thalmor. He went on further to explain what he had been doing in his preparation for his final battle with Alduin, taking head of all of Skyrim’s guilds, and on the way becoming a master of all forms of combat. Finally he described in excruciating detail the events leading up to Alduin banishing him, like his meeting with the heroes in Sovngarde, his battle with the gatekeeper. Finishing off, he told them of that final battle, when he had been defeated for the first time. After finishing, all he could see is the Princess go into information overload at all he had told her in the short time that he had.

 It was then that the once-quiet student now was full of questions, no longer afraid of him after hearing the reasons as to why he was so aggressive in the first place. While he was no longer so angry nor aggressive towards her, as he had calmed down from his rage, he still found a few questions to be tiny bit annoying, but he accepted them as just naive curiosity.

 “So, how did you do that shouting magic thing?” she asked, almost excited at the prospect of more learning.

 “It was a gift bestowed upon me by the nine divines, and by no way am I a religious man, they have saved my life more times than I can count.”

 “Can you do magic?” she asked, giddy at the thought of other magic users that weren’t ponies.

 “More than you could hope to dream, Twilight was it?” he asked, now curious about this young “Pony” as they called themselves.

 “Could you show me, please?” and then was when he got that face, it could melt the hearts of even the coldest of Daedra, one that was so sickeningly cute, that he almost had to turn away before his dragon heart melted.

 “Fine, but only simple ones, and no flames either. Especially since we are in a tree, you got that?” he asked

 “Okay, but I want to document this.” she then levitated a pen and notebook out of nowhere, while her horn glowed with purple aura.

 “Before we start, may I ask you something Twilight?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Is that horn of yours a sort of focal point for your magic, like one of my staves that I was carrying with me?”

“I guess you could say that?, why.”

“Oh, just getting a few ideas is all?” He began to think, that if he somehow got hold of a horn, maybe from a dead unicorn, he could make it into a wand or staff and use it to boost his power.

“Alright, you ready, Twilight, Princess?” As he said the last title, he gave a mocking bow, having gotten over the fact that she had imprisoned him earlier

 “Yes we are,” said the princess, giving a small chuckle at the mocking gesture he gave to her. “But nothing is to be done that could harm anypony, including yourself, Alright?” She exclaimed this by giving him a stern look.

 “I get that princess, do not worry. Now, let us begin!” He then held out each hand and a different colour of light emanated  from each. In the left hand was an orange light.

 “This is telekinesis, but you already know that one, I’ve seen you using it multiple times.”

 In the other hand, shone a purple light, with shades of red swirling around it occasionally .

 “This is invisibility, but you can guess what it does.”

 Then he reached out his hand and grabbed a fairly large rock, about 50 meters in front of him, as he moved his hand, the rock moved with it, he then began to draw it back.

 “Now I will show you what I normally use it for.” he said, a smirk appearing on his face.

 As he reared it back, he threw his hand forward, and let the spell go. The rock went flying off into the distance, until all anyone could see was a small black dot in the horizon.

“Next, I am going to turn invisible, but do not worry, I won’t do anything inappropriate...maybe!” with that he raised his hand and felt his body turn invisible. He looked to see the shocked expressions on the two ponies faces. As he was about to let the spell go, he thought about it for a minute, and decided to sneak up on the princess. He went up behind her, cupped his hand to her ear and yelled out,

“BOO!” he then received a hoof to the face as the princess was startled.

“Oh my, I am so sorry.” she then began to form a sly smile on her face, the sarcasm was dripping from her tongue.

“It was my fault anyways, but was the hoof really necessary?” he started rubbing the area where he had been bucked.

“No, but it sure was fun.”

“Well, getting on, princess if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to show you both some of the more offensive spells in my arsenal.?” he pleaded, trying to show off his most used set of spells.

“Fine, but I do not want any of it directed at my subjects, got that?” shooting another stern look his way, but also hiding behind it was a sort of excitement, probably stemming from the fact that she is seeing new magic shown in front of her.

“Alright, here we go.” He then made two new colours of light appear in his hands, one an electric purple, while the other a fiery red.

“The red one is a very simple spell I know called Flames, it makes a jet of flame shoot out of my hand.” as he said that he activated the spell. Then just as he said, a jet of flames appeared out of the palm of his hand. The two mares looked on in amazement, seeing such new and interesting magic cast before them.

 He then let the spell go and brought up the other hand.

“This spell is called Wall of Storms, and as you could infer from the name, it conjures a wall made out of electricity.” then he raised his hand again, and a wall made out of electricity appeared before them.

 But just as the Princess and her student started to see the magic die out and reform, they could hear a shout from above.

“Don’t worry Princess and Twilight, I’ll save you!”

 They looked up to see Rainbow Dash flying towards the Dovahkiin, but before they could scream out for her to stop, they heard her crash into him.

 But when the dust settled, before them appeared an image that they wouldn’t have thought would be there. In front of them was Dash, on the floor, with a ghostly blade held up to her neck, the Dovahkiin was pinning her down with one arm and holding the conjured blade in the other.

 “Don’t worry Prisoner, she is one of my friends, she was just trying to help us!”

“Fine I will let her go, but next time, watch where you are going.” he said, pointing the last bit at Dash.

 “Hey, no one tells me what to do.” she yelled as she charged forward. “They also don’t hurt my friends!” after she said this, she bucked him in the face.

 “Oh, wrong person to mess with bitch!” he said, returning her angry glare with a sweet smile.

“FUS RO DAH!” he shouted at her, knocking her onto her back, and sending her flying 20 feet towards the place where the recently flung rock used to stay.

“Prisoner, why did you do that, she was just trying to help!” said Twilight, shocked at what had happened

 “Twilight, I was defending myself, and you for that matter, from a potential threat. I did not know that she was your friend, or that she meant you no harm. I only reacted in a way I saw fit.” he returned her gaze, defending his actions.

 “Fine, but atleast help me carry her, because of you she is knocked out cold.”

“Alright, but when she wakes up, she and I are going to have a little talk.”

THE END