The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

by Garion

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 22764

The Dovahkiin, after having his last fight with Alduin, is transported to Equestria.

After fighting Alduin and fatefully losing, the Dovahkiin is sent to Equestria. To him, he has been given a ticket to paradise, but to others, Equestria has just gained a very interesting inhabitant.

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Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-22 14:48:28 UTC

Prologue

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Prologue

And so, after all of his training, his hard work and determination, he was finally here. After taking a ride on the back of his new dragon friend Odahviing, he had arrived at a fortress somewhere high in the mountains of Skyrim. He had to fight tooth and nail, killing two dragons and a dragon priest to get to the portal to Sovngarde. The dragon priest had been especially hard seeing as, even though he had already killed eight of them already, they were tough sons of bitches to fight, he had to down 3 health potions just to survive, but he was rewarded with the key to the Nordic afterlife.

 As he was walking through the misty roads of his ancestors heaven, he started to look back on his past adventures in Skyrim. As a large brown haired Nord, he had fit right in, even though he had been gone for a good few years, he thinks. The truth of the matter is, he could not remember anything before he was on the cart off to his execution, nothing. He could not even remember his name, all he had been told was that he was “The Prisoner”, and so that was who he became. He believed that if you do bad, you deserve to die, if you do good you deserve to live, he became a force of justice in the north, a Judge, Juror and Executioner. If you stole without good reason you would die, but if it was to feed a starving family, he would give you a handful of coins and have you on your way.

 On along the road he saw faces from the past, such as General Tullius, whom he and the soon-to-be High King Ulfric Stormcloak had killed in his War room. Normally the chance to kill imperials would delight the Dovahkiin, but the last words of the General still haunt him to this very day, more than any threat could, “This is what they wanted.” Normally the Dovahkiin would have brushed it off as a dying man trying to mess with him, but it stuck with him because it held a little nugget of truth it made it all the more harder to forget.

 After travelling for a bit longer down the misty roads he comes across what he has been looking for, the Hall of Valor, the legendary home of Ysgramor himself and the first 500 Companions. But as he is about to cross the dragon skeleton bridge he sees a man blocking his way.

“I am Dovahkiin, Harbinger of the Companions, I seek to cross this Bridge to get the finest warriors in the land of Skyrim.” Exclaimed the Dovahkiin, trying to talk his way to the bridge

“...” The Gatekeeper said nothing

“You make me sad, that a fellow brother in arms will not join me, but so be it, just let me through.” The Dovahkiin said, bitter that he had been turned down.

 As the Dovahkiin tries to get past, the fur-clothed warrior moves in his way.

“None shall pass!” The Gatekeeper said.

 “What?!” exclaimed the Dovahkiin

“None shall pass!” The Gatekeeper said again

“I have no quarrel with you, good warrior, but I must cross this bridge!” The Dovahkiin appealed.

“Then you shall have to best me.”

“I command you as the Harbinger of the Companions to stand aside!” He hated to pull the “Rank” card, but in this circumstance it had to be done.

 “I move for no man!” Shouted the Gatekeeper, who was wearing on the Dovahkiin’s patience.

 “So be it!” Now the Dovahkiin was really angry, how dare he stop him from saving Tamriel.

As he went to swing, the Gatekeeper parried and lashed out with a strike of his own, had it not been for the Dragonplate armour he had been wearing, the lunge would have skewered him. But as his sword was still outstretched he lashed out with his fist instead, hitting the Gatekeeper with an uppercut to his under-protected jaw. The Gatekeeper, still attacking, gave the Dovahkiin no option but to put on his full offensive. He blocked one of his attackers swipes and lashed out with an attack of his own, but instead of merely leaving a cut or bruise as he had intended, he had instead taken off the Gatekeeper’s left arm.

“Now stand aside, worthy adversary.” Said the Dovahkiin, eager to end the Battle.

“Tis but a scratch!” Boasted the Gatekeeper.

“A SCRATCH!, I took off your arm!”

“I have had worse!”

“You Liar!”

“Come on you pansy!”

“Alright! I have had enough of playing your stupid games, STAND ASIDE!”

“Have at you.”

“Fuck this!, FUS RO DAH!”

And with that the Gatekeeper was no more, hurtling off the edge while screaming about something only being a flesh wound. As the Dovahkiin started to make his way across the Bridge he chanced a look down, which he instantly regretted. Underneath him was a 500 foot drop into what looked like a river of blood, while he was up here, on a skeleton of an ancient dragon that could fall any moment. Needless to say he hurried over in record time without looking down again.

 When he reached the Hall of Valor it was like nothing he had ever seen before, it was so angular but ancient at the same time, with lighting everywhere to highlight its beauty. Inside was also amazing, you could hear stories of old from Harbingers of the past, when the dragons first came and the heroes that tried to stop them. You could also see great heroes of Legend, like Olaf one eye, the Jarl of Whiterun, telling the story of how he tamed his dragon adversary Numinex, or Jurgen Windcaller telling the tale of his withstanding the Voices of his most powerful foes for 2 days before they tired out. But who the Dovahkiin was really looking for are Felldir the Old, Hakon One-Eye and Gormlaith Goldenhilt. They are the Ancient Nordic Heroes of Old who originally caused Alduin to go forward in time.

When you go up to them you ask: “Will you, mightiest of warriors, help me the Dovahkiin, vanquish Alduin once and for all, ending his reign of tyranny over our afterlife and letting the true heroes back into Sovngarde.”

The Dovahkiin asked, hoping his inspirational speech was enough to win them over.

“Aye, we will Dovahkiin, he has been a menace and a blight upon our sacred homeland for millennia, and we will be happy to see him dead for the last time” Exclaimed the Heroes, eager for a chance to put right their wrong.

“Then follow me, and we shall march forward, FOR VICTORY!”

“Alright then, but no need to shout.”

When they stood outside the Hall of Valour they could see the mists getting thicker, preparing to shroud them indefinitely if they do not find better ground. After crossing the dragon bridge again, this time the Dovahkiin remembering not to look down, instead focusing on the goal at hand.

 When they reached the battlefield where the Gatekeeper had been bested, his arm strewn across the ground, they felt the mists dissipate a little bit, allowing them to see about 10 feet in front of them.

“Dovahkiin, you must use LOK VAH KOOR to clear these misty skies, else they will overwhelm us .”

“Okay, let me just get into position.”

The Dovahkiin shuffled about on the spot, tensing himself against the floor, ready to shout.

“Let’s do this, LOK VAH KOOR.” shouted the Dovahkiin, seeing the energy discharge from his mouth like a wave.

The mists cleared almost instantly, but inside them he saw destruction incarnate. Alduin was about 100 feet in front of them, looking as menacing as ever. It was hard to believe that if it had not been for him, the only hope for Skyrim would have been lost on an executioner’s block in Helgen.

“So, the mighty Dovahkiin has come to vanquish me, God of Destruction, Firstborn of Akatosh, what makes you think you can best me.” taunted the Dragon, looking as if ready to pounce.

“We have come to stop you and finish what the heroes of old failed to do, you are no God worthy of the blood of the nine, you are scum that will be banished to the darkest planes of Oblivion!” screamed the Dovahkiin, but still barely heard as the fog was coming back.

“One as young as you has no chance against one as old and wise as me. You have not yet reached a half century, while I have lived for EONS, the moves you will make are ones that many have made before you, and they have all died, so now, on this battlefield, you are MINE!” and with that he charged at the group, jaws flung open, wide enough to swallow one of them whole.

 The god swiped at Hakon, throwing him off the cliff to his doom, but when he was distracted, the Dovahkiin shouted at him “YOL TOOR SHUL”, this let out a menacing breath of fire, boosted in power by his meditation sessions with Paarthurnax. This made Alduin howl with rage, taking another lunge at the group, this time it was Felldir that fell, having his head severed from his neck, rolling off into the ravine where his brother-in-arms lay. At this point it was only the Dovahkiin and Gormlaith left, and in the rage of losing her oldest friends, charged at the colossal beast taking out one of his eyes.

 “Take that you milk drinking BASTARD!” she screamed as she lunged

 At this point Alduin was getting sloppy, attacking out of fear more than rage, trying to keep himself alive, but lady luck was on his side for this battle as he breathed a jet of blue fire right at her, and as she had nowhere to hide, she took it on full force, with no protection other than her steel armour, she cooked to a crisp.

 The Dovahkiin had only one more chance left before he was going to be pounced upon, and he had to make it count. He called out “TIID KLO UL.” This slowed down time as he reached for an arrow to notch into his already drawn bow. He poisoned it with frostbite venom, and loosed it right in between Alduin’s eyes. Then, while the monster was screaming out in pain, he drew his sword once again. The Dovahkiin charged at Alduin, but, as he neared the beast it lashed out a claw, hitting the Dovahkiin directly in the stomach. The blow ripped directly through his plating and punctured his skin. The wound seemed to get bigger and bigger, until the dragon had been able to get a complete claw inside. Alduin then threw the Dovahkiin back, making him land near the edge of the cliff, almost falling off.

  And as he lay there, covered in blood and almost on the verge of death. He was waiting for the sweet release of death to finally let him go to rest after a year of helping those in need. He then felt a large surge of energy envelop him, lifting him off his feet and pulling him into a swirling vortex above him. It was then that he heard the laughing.

“What, you think I will kill you? You are sorely mistaken hatchling! If I kill you, another of your kind will be born and try to usurp me from my throne. I am sending you to a universe where you will be gone, but not dead, so I can better torment this world without you.”

With that the Dovahkiin tried his best to stay conscious and fight his inner demons, but after fighting to near exhaustion, he gave up and fell into the warm embrace of sleep.

The last thing the Dovahkiin could remember was the voice of Alduin, mocking him and cursing his name, leaving him to forever wander an unknown world, but before he could be sucked into the vortex swirling above him, he felt a supreme sense of calm wash over him, and then a being of immense power guide him through it, almost as if Akatosh himself had guided him to a world that needed him more than Nirn.

 But then as he opened his eyes to check on his surroundings, he saw himself in a very large steaming crater, dressed head to toe in dark silver ebony armour, with his weapons hung by his sides. But the weird thing wasn’t him being in a crater, nor was the fact that his armour had changed completely, it was the fact that there were six pastel coloured, for lack of a better word, “Ponies” surrounding him, with one poking him with her hoof.

 The last thing he could hear before passing out from a mixture of exhaustion and confusion was one of the “ponies” saying:

“Twi, ah’m thinkin’ that you should be sendin’ a letter to tha Princess right ‘bout now?”

END

Chapter 1

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 1

As the Dovahkiin awoke, he realised he was in a library of some sort, with thousands of books lining the walls. As he looked around at his surroundings a little more he realised that, while the walls were made of wood, none of it looked carved. He deduced that either the owner of this house was extremely good at art and decoration, making it look like the inside of a tree, or he was actually inside a tree, which he thought was pretty cool.

 Then as he tried to get up he realised that couldn’t move, he tried to squirm his way out but his body was enveloped in a purple aura. It hurt like a bitch but just as he was about to break through, a purple animal came through the door. She stated to speak.

 “Uhm, excuse me but could you stop moving about, it will only hurt for a while.” said the purple quadruped, who seemed perplexed at his constant fighting.

 “I am going to give you ONE chance to explain your reasons for trapping me, and if I find the answer insufficient, I will kill you.” he said cooly, meaning every word.

 “You are in no place to be threatening me, I have your weapons, armour and you are paralysed from the neck down, and even if you were able to break through, the princess will be here in a minute, and she will easily deal with you.” she smugly said, almost daring him to do it.

 “Well don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning bitch, but just because you have me incapacitated, does not mean that I cannot do anything about it.” He gave her a sly smile as he said his answer to her.

 “Oh really, what are you going to do, shout at me until I let you go.” She almost laughed at her little joke

“Oh something like that, but by the nine you talk too bloody much.”

“FUS RO DAH” he shouted, landing a full force hit on the quadruped, making her lose her grip on her magic.

 As he got up he realised that she had put his armour next to the bedside, well that was a mistake. He hastily put on his armour and weapons as he made his way out the door.

 But as he was walking outside he was suddenly blinded by a bright light, and there in front of him, was a mother fucking unicorn with wings. He had seen a lot of strange things in his journey, from Werewolf lovers to a woman asking him to “Wabbajack” her, but this right here took the cake. As she approached him he felt himself paralyzed again, but this time he couldn’t talk. She lifted him up using some form of magic, emanating from her horn. As she picked him up she carried him into the library, where she locked the door and place him on a seat.

 It was at this point that the purple one from earlier had decided to enter the room, looking frantically around for something. She then noticed the larger white horse and almost bowed down before her.

 “Oh Princess! I am so sorry, but before you came, the strange beast knocked me unconscious and fled, but don’t worry, me and the girls will find him soon enough.” said the purple horse, obviously crazy at the fact that she had lost him.

 “Do not worry my faithful student, I apprehended him as he tried to escape the house, in fact he is sitting right over there.” said the horse, calming the younger one.

 She now started to walk over to him, checking him over and taking off his weapons and armour using a very advanced form of telekinesis. She then started to inspect him further, prodding and poking, trying to figure out as much as she could. After doing this for about 10 minutes she stepped back and turned to the smaller one,

“So Twilight, do you think I should un-gag him and ask him a few questions?” said the white one, but it already seemed she knew the answer.

 “Normally Princess, I am all for learning about new things, but this one is different, when he finally spoke, after conversing with me in perfect Equestrian he then shouted a form of energy at me, it was like a form of magic I had never seen!” said the student, almost shaking at the memory, who the Dovahkiin could not blame, it is quite a harrowing experience.

 “Do not worry my faithful student, I am here and I will not let anything happen to you.” said the large one, still looking at the Dovahkiin, but this time more inquisitively.

 “Alright then princess, but only because you are here.” said the small one, still obviously not over what happened, but calming a little at her mentor’s words.

 And at that he felt the invisible gag fall away, but as it did he screamed out so many profanities that even Sanguine would find it a little excessive.

 “THE FUCK?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE SHITS, WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND THEN RAPE YOUR CORPSES, I WILL PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN, WEAR IT LIKE A BODY GLOVE, ROLL AROUND IN SOME BROKEN GLASS AND THEN PUT IT BACK ON YOU AND PUSH YOU DOWN A HILL,” he then stopped for a breath, and the continued. “AND YOU, MISS BIG TALL AND MIGHTY, HOW ABOUT I KILL YOUR FAMILY AND SEND THEM OFF TO BE MADE INTO GLUE, OR ON SECOND THOUGHT, I WILL RIP OFF EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOUR APPENDAGES, THEN I WILL EAT THEM, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, KEEPING YOU ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE ME SHIT THEM OUT!” he then finished, exhausted at the shouting he had just done.

 The mentor and her student just looked on in horror at what he just said, paralyzed in fear. The larger one then composed herself and leaned forward.

“Well, now that that is out of the way, and will never happen again, we can get started.”

 She then sat down opposite me, and started to ask questions.

 “What is your name?”

“Prisoner.”

“Let me try again, What is your name?”

“I do not know, but my actions speak for myself.”

“Moving on, what is your reason for being in Equestria?”

“Why don’t you tell me! I did not want to come here, I wanted to be in Sovngarde drinking mead with heroes of legend, but NOO, a rather pissed off god had to send me to this colourful shithole.”

“What do you mean, ‘He sent you here.’, who?”

“A dragon- God-Thing, he sent me here to keep me alive so I could not come back and kill him.”

“Fine, Why did you attack my student?”

“Because I woke up, and she was lauding over me. She also had me restrained, what did you think I was going to do?”

“That still does not excuse the fact that you assaulted her, I want you to apologise.”

“How about, Fuck no, I think that has a good ring to it, don’t you?”

“I command you, as ruler of this land, to apologise.”

“I would not care if you are the High Queen of Nirn, there is no way in Oblivion that I am going to acknowledge any fault on my part in this whole debacle .” He said firmly

“I COMMAND YOU TO DO IT.” she changed her voice to one of a higher magnitude, pushing a weak force against his face.

“You want a shouting match, go ask your friend what happened last time I tried that.

“I still expect you to do it.” she had lowered her voice, making it a more acceptable level

“Yeah, well isn’t that too fucking bad. I gave my life to save my people, became the hero they wanted me to be, trained hard at everything, magic, archery, hand to hand combat and sword fighting. I became the head of every guild I had heard of, The college of Winterhold, The Companions, The Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves Guild. What in the name of Talos do you expect me to do?! Apologise to some lowly being, who brought the wrath of the gods upon herself? I am the nine’s shield and sword! I do their bidding and they graced me with the dragon blood. So to answer your question, one last time, FUCK YOU!” that last outburst really made him tired, he would have never think to have himself utter these words, but

 “Fuck me, am I getting tired of shouting.”

“Fine, I will allow you this once to refrain from apologising, but I would like something in return from you?”

“What?” He replied, obviously nervous at the question

 “I want you to explain your story to me, tell me everything.”

 And so reluctantly, he explained how he cannot remember anything from before his attempted execution. He went on to explain his story about how he found out he was the Dovahkiin, able to channel the dragon’s power into the form of a shout. He then went onto explain the struggles between the Thalmor and the Empire, and a basic history of the Empire-Stormcloak War, why he had chosen the Stormcloaks, but the reasons why he really wasn’t mad at the Empire, only the Thalmor. He went on further to explain what he had been doing in his preparation for his final battle with Alduin, taking head of all of Skyrim’s guilds, and on the way becoming a master of all forms of combat. Finally he described in excruciating detail the events leading up to Alduin banishing him, like his meeting with the heroes in Sovngarde, his battle with the gatekeeper. Finishing off, he told them of that final battle, when he had been defeated for the first time. After finishing, all he could see is the Princess go into information overload at all he had told her in the short time that he had.

 It was then that the once-quiet student now was full of questions, no longer afraid of him after hearing the reasons as to why he was so aggressive in the first place. While he was no longer so angry nor aggressive towards her, as he had calmed down from his rage, he still found a few questions to be tiny bit annoying, but he accepted them as just naive curiosity.

 “So, how did you do that shouting magic thing?” she asked, almost excited at the prospect of more learning.

 “It was a gift bestowed upon me by the nine divines, and by no way am I a religious man, they have saved my life more times than I can count.”

 “Can you do magic?” she asked, giddy at the thought of other magic users that weren’t ponies.

 “More than you could hope to dream, Twilight was it?” he asked, now curious about this young “Pony” as they called themselves.

 “Could you show me, please?” and then was when he got that face, it could melt the hearts of even the coldest of Daedra, one that was so sickeningly cute, that he almost had to turn away before his dragon heart melted.

 “Fine, but only simple ones, and no flames either. Especially since we are in a tree, you got that?” he asked

 “Okay, but I want to document this.” she then levitated a pen and notebook out of nowhere, while her horn glowed with purple aura.

 “Before we start, may I ask you something Twilight?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Is that horn of yours a sort of focal point for your magic, like one of my staves that I was carrying with me?”

“I guess you could say that?, why.”

“Oh, just getting a few ideas is all?” He began to think, that if he somehow got hold of a horn, maybe from a dead unicorn, he could make it into a wand or staff and use it to boost his power.

“Alright, you ready, Twilight, Princess?” As he said the last title, he gave a mocking bow, having gotten over the fact that she had imprisoned him earlier

 “Yes we are,” said the princess, giving a small chuckle at the mocking gesture he gave to her. “But nothing is to be done that could harm anypony, including yourself, Alright?” She exclaimed this by giving him a stern look.

 “I get that princess, do not worry. Now, let us begin!” He then held out each hand and a different colour of light emanated  from each. In the left hand was an orange light.

 “This is telekinesis, but you already know that one, I’ve seen you using it multiple times.”

 In the other hand, shone a purple light, with shades of red swirling around it occasionally .

 “This is invisibility, but you can guess what it does.”

 Then he reached out his hand and grabbed a fairly large rock, about 50 meters in front of him, as he moved his hand, the rock moved with it, he then began to draw it back.

 “Now I will show you what I normally use it for.” he said, a smirk appearing on his face.

 As he reared it back, he threw his hand forward, and let the spell go. The rock went flying off into the distance, until all anyone could see was a small black dot in the horizon.

“Next, I am going to turn invisible, but do not worry, I won’t do anything inappropriate...maybe!” with that he raised his hand and felt his body turn invisible. He looked to see the shocked expressions on the two ponies faces. As he was about to let the spell go, he thought about it for a minute, and decided to sneak up on the princess. He went up behind her, cupped his hand to her ear and yelled out,

“BOO!” he then received a hoof to the face as the princess was startled.

“Oh my, I am so sorry.” she then began to form a sly smile on her face, the sarcasm was dripping from her tongue.

“It was my fault anyways, but was the hoof really necessary?” he started rubbing the area where he had been bucked.

“No, but it sure was fun.”

“Well, getting on, princess if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to show you both some of the more offensive spells in my arsenal.?” he pleaded, trying to show off his most used set of spells.

“Fine, but I do not want any of it directed at my subjects, got that?” shooting another stern look his way, but also hiding behind it was a sort of excitement, probably stemming from the fact that she is seeing new magic shown in front of her.

“Alright, here we go.” He then made two new colours of light appear in his hands, one an electric purple, while the other a fiery red.

“The red one is a very simple spell I know called Flames, it makes a jet of flame shoot out of my hand.” as he said that he activated the spell. Then just as he said, a jet of flames appeared out of the palm of his hand. The two mares looked on in amazement, seeing such new and interesting magic cast before them.

 He then let the spell go and brought up the other hand.

“This spell is called Wall of Storms, and as you could infer from the name, it conjures a wall made out of electricity.” then he raised his hand again, and a wall made out of electricity appeared before them.

 But just as the Princess and her student started to see the magic die out and reform, they could hear a shout from above.

“Don’t worry Princess and Twilight, I’ll save you!”

 They looked up to see Rainbow Dash flying towards the Dovahkiin, but before they could scream out for her to stop, they heard her crash into him.

 But when the dust settled, before them appeared an image that they wouldn’t have thought would be there. In front of them was Dash, on the floor, with a ghostly blade held up to her neck, the Dovahkiin was pinning her down with one arm and holding the conjured blade in the other.

 “Don’t worry Prisoner, she is one of my friends, she was just trying to help us!”

“Fine I will let her go, but next time, watch where you are going.” he said, pointing the last bit at Dash.

 “Hey, no one tells me what to do.” she yelled as she charged forward. “They also don’t hurt my friends!” after she said this, she bucked him in the face.

 “Oh, wrong person to mess with bitch!” he said, returning her angry glare with a sweet smile.

“FUS RO DAH!” he shouted at her, knocking her onto her back, and sending her flying 20 feet towards the place where the recently flung rock used to stay.

“Prisoner, why did you do that, she was just trying to help!” said Twilight, shocked at what had happened

 “Twilight, I was defending myself, and you for that matter, from a potential threat. I did not know that she was your friend, or that she meant you no harm. I only reacted in a way I saw fit.” he returned her gaze, defending his actions.

 “Fine, but atleast help me carry her, because of you she is knocked out cold.”

“Alright, but when she wakes up, she and I are going to have a little talk.”

THE END

Chapter 2

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 2

As the Dovahkiin started to walk towards Rainbow Dash, he could see that she was slightly twitching in her unconscious dream state. He then began to lift her up gently, as he did not want her to wake up prematurely, and he also did not want the hassle of her trying to get away while in his arms.

He proceeded to make his way back to the tree house, which at this time was currently the only light source around, as the sun had set a few hours before. Dash then began to mumble in her sleep, saying things like ‘Nice try, but you are too slow!’ or ‘I am gonna get you or that.’ After a while he just zoned out because it went from cursing his name, which he didn’t mind, to boasting, which he despised with an unholy vengeance.

As he got towards the library door it was opened with a purple aura enveloping it, swinging it open quietly. He then sat Rainbow Dash onto the couch and promptly fell asleep himself, on the floor.

He was awoken by the sounds of shouting, and the feeling of a weight being pushed on to his chest. He opened his eyes to find the rainbow-maned one on top of him, glaring into his eyes with a hoof to his throat.

“TWILIGHT!,” she screamed. “I GOT HIM, HE WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO ME, AND IN YOUR HOUSE.” She then began to laugh, murmuring the words ‘Dumbass.”

“Rainbow, let him go.” said Twilight as she walked in on the scene. “He hasn’t done anything wrong....for a while.” She said, a smirk appearing on her face.

“But I saw him attack you and the princess, and then he almost KILLED ME,” she put a lot emphasis on the last part.

“No. He was not attacking us, he was showing us a few of his spells, and secondly, you are just as much to blame for almost being killed, as you attacked him first.!” she said, trying to explain the situation without much hardship

“WAIT, how can he cast magic, he isn’t even a unicorn, which begs the question, what in the hay is he?” she said, befuddled at this new information.

The Dovahkiin, who had remained quiet for the entirety of this conversation until now, finally had the chance to speak up.

“Actually, I’m a human, well Nordic to be more precise. But, before we get anywhere, either you get off me, or I will make you.” he said, venom dripping off the last few words.

“Oh yeah, what are you going to do, hit me!” she got up, and went onto her hind legs, as if she has getting ready to punch him with her hooves instead of kick him.

“Them’s fightin’ words!” he said, in a mock accent

Just as the Dovahkiin had drawn his fist back, ready to punch this boastful bitch back to the third era, he heard a shout come up from behind him.

“ENOUGH!,” the shout originated from behind them, they then turned to see Celestia, enshrouded in light. “You two will act civil to each other from now on, you both obviously have some grievances to work out with each other, so Twilight and I will leave, and let you two learn more about each other.”

They both mumbled out words of begrudging acceptance, and positioned themselves opposite one another.

“But Princess,” Twilight chimed in. “This is my house.”

“Twilight, technically I own this house that you live in rent free, I can decide what happens to it, and when it does.” As she put on that stern face, she made twilight crumble at the thought of upsetting her mentor. But then she let out a peal of beautiful laughter, one that could charm the birds from their nests.

“I was only kidding Twilight, but if you would be so kind as to let these two use your accommodation, I would be most grateful.”

“Fine then Princess, but only for you!” she said, and then started to beam at her mentor.

“Alright then, you two stay civil, Twilight and I will be gone for an hour or two.” They then made a hasty exit

“Alright then, what do you want to know?” The Dovahkiin leaned back, having a smirk on his face, expecting the worst.

“Alright then, who are you?” she asked quizzically.

“Well, I do not know my name, if that is what you are insinuating, but that is due to a slight bout of amnesia that stretches for about 22 years.”

“No, I meant, ‘What have you done?’, ‘Who have you met?’, that type of thing?”

“Well, let’s see. I am the Dovahkiin, or in our tongue “Dragonborn”. This means I was born with the soul and blood of a dragon. This gives me the ability to harness their power, which you experienced last night if you can remember.”

“Wait, you mean to tell me, that you have the soul of a DRAGON, the big scaly things that can breathe FIRE?! Yeah right, nice try.” She looked at him skeptically, as if doubting her judgment of him.

“If you want, after this I can show you, but right now, we are learning about me and my past, so where was I. Oh yes, I am also the Thane of every city in my homeland of Skyrim, a Thane is a very high-up position, only bestowed to a few people, I am lucky enough to be one in every city, which is very handy in case you ever get caught doing something illegal.”

“Wait, illegal, you were a thief?”

“Oh yes, I was the best, head of a guild built towards the goal of thieving, I am also in the favor of the God of Shadows, so I am probably the best thief there ever was, well except for this rumor I heard about a thief from about 200 years ago, apparently he was able to break into the royal archives undetected, if that is true then it is easily the hardest thing anyone could’ve ever pulled off. But back onto the subject. I was the head of many guilds, my favorite being the companions, those were true Nords! They could hold their mead with the best of them.”

“The Companions, who were they?”

“It was a guild of Fighters, the best to ever grace the plains of Whiterun, those were the times you know, just drinking and brawling. I was even going to ask one of them out, Aela the Huntress, she was a beauty! If you saw her you would know what I was talking about, the pinnacle of beauty and strength. But, alas I am here and I may as well get used to it.”

He had a look in his eye, not one of sorrow, but one of reminiscing, remembering the good and the bad.

“So were there any other guilds you were in charge of?” she asked inquisitively, having gotten over her rage and anger at him and getting fully immersed in the story.

“Well, there was the College of Winterhold, and that was a Guild of Mages, they could cast spells that you could not believe, creating weapons and beasts out of nothingness, it really was a sight to behold. However, they were too boring, staying cooped up inside their walls, not helping anyone with their gifts. I mean for Talos’s sake they didn’t even accept restoration as a proper school of magic! There was also the Dark Brotherhood, but I would rather not talk about them, while I did some of my finest work with them, I still did some very unsavory things that only a bottle of skooma can make one forget.” He started to shudder as he thought of the unspeakable acts of Evil he committed in the Night Mother’s name. To try and drown away his sorrows he took a swig from his bottle of skooma.

“Dammit, only 10 bottles left, I am going to need to keep those for emergencies, or when I really need my fix.”

“Okay, you have told me about yourself, now it is my turn!” she said, excited at telling her new acquaintance all about her achievements.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what is that Ass tattoo you have there?” he asked, genuinely perplexed at its meaning.

“What this, this is my cutie mark, don’t you have one under all that armor?”

“Nope, I am afraid not, but what does it do?”

“It tells me what I am really good at, I got mine when I created my first sonic rain-boom, it helped me get all of my friends cutie marks as well.” she said, lying back to let the awesomeness seep in.

“Oh that’s pretty cool, but come back to me when you single-handedly kill a fucking dragon with only your bare hands and without any armor.”

“Wait, you killed a DRAGON?! How’d you do that? Those things are so huge, and they can breathe fire and have really sharp claws and long teeth and...” she tried to think of more reasons why dragons were so fearsome, but they escaped her grasp.

“Yeah, it was pretty easy really, I mean I killed like 70 others, but that was with a bow or a sword, and it only takes a few minutes at most, it isn’t really a big deal.” he tried to act nonchalant about it, but Rainbow was now almost foaming at the mouth, wanting to know how he does it.

“Alright, if you really want to know how I do it, come outside with me.”

With that they left the tree house and went outside to the open field where they had first met on some rather unfortunate terms.

“Alright, what do you want me to do?”

“More of that shouting thing you can do, it is really cool!”

“Alright then, YOL TOR SHUL!” he shouted so that the breath of fire was perpendicular to her, and as the flame left his mouth she let out a whoop of excitement.

“OMIGOSH, that was so cool! Let’s do another one!”

“I need to wait a while, but in the meantime, why don’t I show you some other cool tricks I picked up.”

“Cool! Let’s do it”

And so over the next hour and a half he showed her a lot of things he had learned on his travels, like all of his healing magic, mainly because it looked the coolest, and his conjuration spells, because Rainbow wanted to see if he could summon up the dead, which he obliged. When the Princess and Twilight eventually came back from whatever they were doing, which for some odd reason they were sweating and had their manes ruffled (BOW CHICKA WOW WOW), he eventually crawled back to the couch after he had used up his stamina and manna stores on impressing Dash, whom he actually become quite fond of after discovering that they were very similar in many ways. The Princess then asked him to sit down.

“Now, I am going to give you an offer, but firstly I need to ask you something. If you could, would you go back?”

“Go back where, your highness?”

“To Skyrim of course, where else would you think we were talking about?”

“To answer your question; not right now, as Alduin is still too powerful. If I do go back, I will almost certainly die. Eventually, if it hasn't all been reduced to rubble, I would like to go back, but until then, if it is alright with you, I would like to stay here and train.”

“That is a good thing to hear, as I was about to propose something along those lines. I would like for you to come back to Canterlot with me, so as to learn about Equestria and its culture. You would be taught, by me, our history alongside my sister, Princess Luna, as she has just returned from an extended trip to the moon. We would both also teach you magic and our customs. Does that sound appealing to you?” she asked, already knowing his answer

“That sounds good your highness. It will be good to get some better magic training done, as most of mine so far has been self-taught. Also since this will be more of a prolonged stay, it would be handy to know a thing or two about your culture.”

“That is nice to hear! Who knows, maybe we will make a gentlecolt out of you yet!”

Chapter 3

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 3

As the Dovahkiin started to make his way out of the Tree home, he was stopped by Twilight, who motioned him to get down to her level. As he did so, she put her forelegs around him.

 “Safe journey Prisoner.” she said, looking into his eyes.

 “You know, I have been thinking, why don’t we call me something different, how about Dovahkiin?”

 “Like what?” she then stared at him, giving him a quizzical look

 “I don’t know, I was going to suggest something in Dovah, to make it a more personal name than Dragonborn, since that title has been held by many.”

 “So what were you thinking?” she now looked into the distance, trying to figure out a name from the little of the Language he had taught her.

 “Well, I was thinking Drundomun, it means ‘Bringer of Man’, what do you think?”

 “How about we give you a pony name, because you are living here now?”

 “Hmm, how about when I come back we think about it?” he asked, trying to avoid being called something like ‘Bright Voice’.

 “Alright then.” She dropped the subject and focused on the matter at hand. “So the Princess will come to escort you in about 5 minutes, and from here you will walk to Canterlot.”

 “Walk, why don’t we just fly there?” he had become saddened, after months of travelling on foot he was looking forward to having someone else doing the heavy lifting.

 “She said it’s an exercise to see what you can do, and also to get to know you better.”

 “Fine, but when I get to that castle, I had better be treaten like a bloody king!” he said, now a bit pissed at the fact that this was not really necessary.

 “You will be treated like all foreign dignitaries, you may even meet a few nobles from the courts.”

 “Oh yay, more boring-ass old people who make me consider either serial murder or suicide.”

 “Stop over reacting, they aren’t that bad, but if I were you I would look out for the princesses ‘Nephew’, he can be a real idiot sometimes.”

  “Oh really, so are you speaking from experience, or rumours?”

 “He callously insulted my good friend Rarity and treated her like dirt, then he had the audacity to spit out my friend Applejack’s food like it was poison! So yes, I have had some experience with him.” she had a sour look on her face, with hints of disgust

 “Well, I might have to pay him a visit after all, seeing as we are friends now, I consider that a personal insult. Anyone who has gotten on the wrong side of me has only a few excruciating seconds to live to regret it.” he now had an extremely menacing look on his face.

“You really don’t have to do that.” The sarcasm was oozing out of her mouth like an unholy plague.

 “Well he might just have an accident or two, but nothing too serious.”

 “Well, it looks like the Princess is here, I won’t keep you waiting.” and with that, she slammed to door in his face.

 As he walked out, the Princess was in front of him looking majestic and beautiful, but he didn’t want the Princess to get the wrong ideas, so he mentioned neither. While he liked the ponies, that stuff is messed up.

 “So, how did packing go?”

 “Just fine, although I did not know until 5 minutes ago that we would be walking to your capital instead of getting a carriage.”

 “That was planned, I want to know how well you do under pressure and in unfamiliar situations.”

 “Oh, I’m not worried Princess. I have been able to kill anything that came my way for the past year and not sleep a wink for 2 weeks straight. In fact, I feel that I could probably run there right now, but you want to get to know me and that will be hard if I am running AND out of breath.”

 “Alright then, I thought I needn't worry, but I do think this will be a good time for me to find out more about you before I introduce you to my sister.”

 “Ah a sister, why don’t you tell me about her?”

 “I would prefer to leave that, how would you say, splendid conversation for when she meets you, she is extremely excited to be getting a study buddy.”

 “Oh, so you have been telling her about me, what have you said so far?”

 “What you look like, how you came here, but do not worry, I haven’t told her any of your more titillating stories, I left that honour for you.”

 “Why thank you my liege.” he gave her a mock bow

 “Did Twilight tell you about the forest we would be going through on our way to Canterlot?”

 “No, she did not mention it, Why?”

 “It is called the Everfree, because it is free from the control of any nation, it exists according to its own free will.”

 “Now that you mention it, it looks like any other forest to me.”

 “It has beasts and monsters so powerful that even my sister and I would have a hard time defeating.”

 “Do not fear Princess, I am as close to a God as mortals come. I am fully capable of besting a beast ten times my size without so much as a flick of my wrist. I highly doubt anything in there could match me in any form of combat.”

 “I will take your word for it, but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart.”

 “If I was of the faint of heart Princess, I would have died long ago.”

 “Well with such a cocky attitude you might just bluff your way out of trouble.”

 “Have you had your fun with the insults, we had better get going.”

“Fine, but on the way tell me a few more stories.”

 “And that Celestia, is why Sanguine is the best of the Daedra.”

 “But you just killed a temple of innocent Priestesses, how could you do that?” she asked, almost mentally scarred at the story that he had been talking about for the last 4 hours.

 “Hey, the Bitch wanted me to do some boring ass menial job and I was having none of it. Also Senna the Priestess was in no means innocent,if you know what I mean.”

 “I think I may throw up.”

 “Here take some of this, it will calm your nerves.”

 “What is it?”

“It is Skooma, it works like a charm.”

 “Alright fine, but only once.”

 “Don’t worry so much, its not like anything bad is going to happen.”

"I lovsh yoush *hic*, you know that, right. Don't ever leave me." Celestia then broke down crying, but she was also laughing, the Skooma seemed to affect her immensely

"I don't know why you would ever think that, I Love you the most." The Dovahkiin was almost as drugged up as her, but since he was used to Skooma it did not affect him as much.

He went down to give her a hug, but she turned around at the last second, and planted a big, sloppy, drunken kiss on his lips.

"You are sho Handshome, why don't you come down here and join me." She gave him a sultry, albeit drunken, look.

"Princess, we are both drunk, I doubt that would be the best idea, look, let me use some restoration on you, it will fix this stupor we are both in." he then gave her a look that she could not comprehend in her state. "It would not be wise, seeing as we are of a different species."

"I was not asking, I was commanding." she then grabbed him with her magic, and pinned him to the ground. As she advanced on him, he started to try and convince her.

"Look, Princess, what do you think Twilight will think, you taking advantage of me now, she would be horrified." he gave her a pleading look.

"We can worry about such things later, now, how about we get this armour off." She started to fling his armour and weapons around their newly built camp-site, strewing them everywhere.

"I really didn't want to do this Princess, but you gave me no choice." He then let out a shriek as his body began to change, his arms becoming hairy and longer, his entire body shifting.

"Oh, I love the hairy ones." In her drunken state, she was still powerful, and he had to be careful.

"Leave now, or we will both do something we will regret."

"Not until I get my prize." she gave him a look of wanting, but with some maliciousness infused.

"Don't tell me this was my fault, you brought it upon yourself." He then charged at her in his werewolf form, roaring at her and taking a swipe. After hearing the roar, she fled like anyone would, into the woods. As he began to follow her, he went back through the camp-site, but as he began to leave he felt his transformation begin to fade, as he began to change back, he felt himself trip over on the nearest tent, knocking him out cold.

The Dovahkiin woke up around a campfire, his armour and weapons were strewn across the entire campsite, which he could not remember building. The last thing he could remember was him and Celestia drinking some Skooma.

 “OH shit, I gave her Skooma, what the FUCK was I thinking?”

He started to look around the campsite, seeing if Celestia was there, but alas it was for naught. But, just as he was about to give up he saw to mark of her Royal horse shoes.

 He began to follow the trail, eventually leading to a clearing where they abruptly stopped. He began to search around again, but as he was checking a log for clues, he heard a deafening roar. He decided that this was most likely where the Princess was, because anything that could make that sound would be the most probable thing around to take on the Wielder of the Sun.

 “Well fuck, first night with a Princess and I give her drugs, trash our campsite and get her captured, I am being such a great beacon for Humanity here aren’t I.”

 As he started to walk towards the sound, he realised something.

“Wait, hold the fuck up, I am the Dovahkiin, A killer of Gods, Destroyer of Men, some little pussy whipped bitch in a forest is not going to stop me from rescuing my first friend I have had in the past year. I should walk in there and kill the hell out of that thing.”

 After giving himself that little pep talk, he found his way to the origin of the sound, which turned out to be a big, dark, dank and all other descriptive words beginning with d, cave. He just started to make his way inside when he finished off a bottle of his favourite mead.

As he made his way into the cave he was greeted with an amazing sight. Spread around the cave was a sea of glittering lights, with shades of all the colours of the rainbow. After his vision adjusted to the spectacle he could see clearly that it was in fact a massive hoard of gems and gold, enough to rival any treasury in Skyrim. In the middle of this hoard was a large black figure and a cage to its right.

 As he moved closer to the figure he could make out its eyes and legs, and he could also see that in the cage was a badly beaten and bruised Celestia, who was trying with all her magical might to escape.

 “So, a new creature approaches.”bellowed the beast, smoke coming from his snout. “But what is this?You are not like the others that walk this forest.Instead, you are like a newborn hatchling,walking on two legs instead of four.”

“I do not know who you are or what you are, but if you let the Princess go, I will not kill you.” he said, raising his hand, ready to cast a spell.

 “So, the little hatchling wants to challenge the mighty dragon for his newest prize. What makes you think that I will give her up? I am centuries old, being hatched before the crisis of Nightmare Moon, what do you have that can stop me!?” His voice was now almost like thunder, echoing in the large cave.

 “Wait, you are a dragon?” said the Dovahkiin, a laugh almost coming to his lips

 “Yes, I am a dragon! The most fearsome and powerful of creatures! I was able to do what no other has done and captured the Wielder of the Sun, and now I will have you as a plaything until the day you die!”

 At this point the Dovahkiin actually fell over laughing. He started to roll around, laughing so much it hurt. The thought of any dragon that wasn’t a god trying to kill him just made his chest hurt with unbridled laughter.

 “ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS, I WILL END YOU!”, and with that he let off a blast of fire that melted the gold and jewels around him. At this the Princess started to weep, thinking it was his end.

 But as the smoke cleared, an image formed that neither the Princess nor the dragon thought would be possible, There, standing in front of them, was the Dovahkiin wielding a rather large sword made out of a red type of material, but on his face was not the cocky smirk he had always on his face, this time it was different, his face twisted into one of pure, unadulterated rage. He brandished his sword and aimed it at the Dragons face.

 “HOW DARE YOU, YOU MADE HER CRY! ATTACKING ME IS ONE THING, BUT BRINGING MY FRIENDS TO TEARS MAKES YOU DEAD, AND BY THE TIME I AM THROUGH WITH YOU YOU WILL WISH THAT WHATEVER GOD YOU WORSHIP HAS MERCY ON YOU, BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL FUCKING WON’T!” He then charged at the Dragon, taking the full brunt of a last minute breath of fire. He shrugged it off as if it was nothing and then jumped onto the dragon's back and sliced off one of his wings, making it as deliberately hurtful as possible. As the dragon tried to reach around and hit his back the Dovahkiin jumped off and started shouting again.

 “YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN GET ME THAT EASY BITCH, THINK AGAIN!” He then summoned a fireball to his hands and loosed it at the dragons face, it connected with his eye, making it char and blacken.

 When more screaming commenced he again jumped onto the dragon's back and hacked off his other wing. He then went in for a final blow to the face and stopped. He looked the Dragon dead in the eye and said

 “Remember these few seconds well, for they will be your last.” he said it coldy, and it had a very sharp edge to it.

He then shouted at the dragon, releasing a large breath of fire into his face, completely destroying the already burnt eye.

  "You are not the only one that can breathe fire, Bitch. Yippee Ki Yay, MOTHERFUCKER!"

 He then reached out with his hand and shoved it into the hole in the dragons face where the eye should have been, had the dovahkiin not burnt it to ash. He then summoned a red flame to his hand and released the spell inside of the dragons head, effectively melting it from the inside.

 He then hopped down from the hoard the body was resting from and headed directly towards the cage Celestia was in. As he came closer, he could see she was in utter shock at what had happened.

 “How did you do that?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

 “What, kill him? It was easy really. I was pissed off and he hadn’t had a fight like me in a long time.” He now replaced his angry glare with his trademark cocky smile.

 “No, I mean kill him without thinking about it. You just caused him so much pain and then ended him, just like that.” to emphasise that statement she stomped her hoof.

 “I do what needs to be done, it normally isn’t something I like doing, but this guy was really getting on my nerves.”

 “But, how did you kill him? He was one of the most powerful dragons living at this very moment, the only way he was able to get me was that I was incapacitated.” She glared at him because she realised it was his fault to begin with.

 “Princess, let me remind you, I am a professional Dragon Hunter, I was anointed by the nine for Talos’ sake.”

 “But he was so powerful, his claws were about half your size.”

“He was a dragon, it is what I do.”

“But no one has been able to kill a dragon, EVER, we have only been able to drive them back, I mean his scales alone must be worth a fortune.”

 “Oh, that reminds me, hold my weapons for a sec.”

 “Why?”

 “Just do it for me, Please.”

“Alright then.”

10 Minutes Later

“Really, that is repulsive, how could you do something like that?” she looked at him, disgusted.

 “Really, I think it looks quite fetching.”

 As the Dovahkiin came out of the cave he was wearing what appeared to be the dragons skull as a helmet, and carrying a large handful of scales and bones.

 “Trust me on this Celestia, these will come in handy when I need new equipment.”

 “But we have an entire armoury stocked to the brim, what do you need those for?”

“I can make professional weapons out of these, ones that can cut dragonhide like butter.”

“Fine, but keep them out of my sight, they look dreadful.”

 “It is your land princess.” and with that he gave another mock bow.

 “That reminds me..” She then bucked him in the face so hard he fell to the floor.

 “The hell is it with you girls and your love of kicking me in the face?”

 “If you ever offer me that vile concoction ‘Skooma’ again, being hit in the face will be the least of your worries.”

Chapter 4

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 4

 After the Dovahkiin had rescued the Princess from the clutches of the dragon, they made good time to Canterlot. It had only taken them 2 hours of walking to reach the lifts to the Golden city, albeit 2 quiet hours, as they had not said a word. This was likely because the memories of last night were coming back to them, and they did not like what they saw.

 “Alright, now that we’ve reached the Gates, we will have to take a short stroll to the castle, but be warned, the ponies of Canterlot are quite uptight, and will most probably look upon you with disdain.” she said, but most likely to soothe herself rather than him.

 “What should I be worried about? There was once a man who thought he was better than me, when he said something like that to my face, he regretted it afterwards.” He then began to think of Nazeem, flashing a cocky smile when he remembered that he met the wrong end of an iron dagger.

 “Yes, but this time you won’t be able to kill them.” she shot him a look that was quite amusing.

 “Well, not yet, but I still have time.”

 “Fine, but only at night.” They both began to laugh at their jokes.

 As they began to walk the short path to the Castle, there was lots of talk about the Dovahkiin as he walked with Celestia. This was all fine, he could just about handle it, but then, one pompous prick said one thing that could never be forgiven.

 “What swine, no wonder this country is in the deep end when the Princess hangs out with common ruffians like this. She should renounce the throne all together!”

 At this, the Dovahkiin snapped. He walked straight up and looked into this arrogant ass’s face.

 “Hey you, FUCK OFF! If you don’t have the balls to say this to my face then don’t say it at all. She is your leader and she sure-as-hell wouldn’t want to hang around your bitch ass all day! You think she doesn’t care about anyone other than you? Well I’ve got news for you, without your money, you are nothing but a piece of bigoted scum who doesn’t deserve the right to live in as peaceful a country as this. So either man up, or shut up.”

 “HOW DARE YOU, I am a noble whose father is a very prominent figure in the courts, you are just a 2-bit beast that has learnt a few words. The only reason she keeps you around is most probably because you amuse her.” he said, in a very arrogant attitude.

 “Oh fuck this, you want to dance pretty boy.” And with that his gauntlet smashed into the face of this asshole, and when he tried to hit back, the Dovahkiin just caught his hoof in mid air and let it hang there for a second, before driving his knee into the stallions face. Then as he was bleeding on the ground he said,

 “What, couldn’t follow through on your promises, at least let this be a lesson in humility.” And with that he walked back to a stunned Celestia.

 “What is it with you and violence, it seems to follow you everywhere.”

 “ Luck of the Nine I guess.” He then flashed her a cocky smile, “So, Celestia, about last night...”

 “Yes, I know what you want to talk about, and let me tell you, it was only because I was inebriated, I promise it will not happen again.”

 “Princess, have you ever heard the saying ‘A drunk women’s words are her sober thoughts.’”

 “I believe that we shouldn’t talk about this again, for now anyway.” and with that she carried on walking as if nothing had happened.

 “By Talos’ beard, I was only trying to smooth things over.” he then continued alongside her, and neither spoke a word for the rest of the journey.

 As they reached the Castle gates, the Dovahkiin was stopped by one of the Royal Guard.

 “Halt, hand over your weapons, or we will have to take them from you!”

 “Bite my shiny armoured ass!”

 “Why you litt-” but before he could finish Celestia stepped in front of him.

 “Captain, Let him through.”

 “But your majesty, he is holding weapons that could be used to harm you or your sister, I will not allow them inside.” He replied adamantly

 “Let.Him.In.”

 “Right away your majesty.” she was not in a good mood and he wasn’t about to annoy her.

 “Thank you Cloud Breeze.”, and with that they both trotted into the Castle’s main hall.

 “Dearest Sister, it is so good to see you again.” came a voice from in front of Celestia, but the Dovahkiin could not see it as he was standing behind her.

 “Hello sister, I have brought the guest we talked about.” and with that she stepped aside.

 In front of the Dovahkiin was the most beautiful sight he had laid his eyes on, out matching the halls of Sovngarde and The College of Winterhold alike. Standing before him was a midnight blue Alicorn whose beauty was beyond compare. Her face was like a sculpture, made only to be seen by the richest of kings. Her eyes like pools of water, basking in moonlight. Her body was one smooth shape, neverending. And her mane billowed in an invisible breeze, out-shining Celestia’s own multi-coloured mane by a long shot, as it seemed to be made out of the Galaxies themselves, with stars becoming pinpoints of light. And all he could do about it is drool.

 “Prisoner, I would like to introduce you to my sister, Luna.”

 “....” He couldn’t say a word, only she filled his thoughts.

 “Prisoner, hello, anyone there?”

 “...”

 “PRISONER!” she yelled at the top of her voice.

 “Hmm, yeah what.” finally tearing his eyes away from the beautiful goddess.

 As Celestia looked into his eyes, she saw what he thought, it was obvious in the way he looked back to her sister, and the way he could not speak. She was hurt.

 “This is my sister, Luna.” a slight bit of sadness graced every word.

 “This is no normal being, it’s as though the Nine themselves have looked upon her and blessed her with beauty, she is a sight to behold, a light in the dark, a flower in a wasteland.” He tried to put on his best noble impression, and he succeeded, too focused on this new wonder, he could not see the pain in his friend's face.

 “Oh stop, you are making me blush.” she looked down shyly, turning her head away from him.

 “Well, since you two have gotten acquainted, I think it is time to show him to his room, don’t you Luna?” she asked, giving her sister a convincing look.

 “What, oh yes, I will show you to your room.” as she began to lead him away, Celestia stopped them.

 “That will be of no need sister, I shall do it, you need to prepare the moon and all.”

 “No, do not worry sister, the pleasure is mine.”

 “Sister, I am doing it, end of story.” she emphasised this with a stomp of her hoof.

 Not wanting to get on her sister’s bad side after something so trivial she gave up.

 “Fine then sister, but Prisoner, we will have to meet up after dinner and meet each other properly.” She gave him a sly wink and was off.

 “You really didn’t have to do that, I would have been fine with Luna.”

 “No, do not worry, I insist.”

 As they made their way through the halls, they arrived at his designated room.

 “So this is it then, pretty fancy if you ask me.” he then jumped to the bed, laying down on the soft surface.

 “Look, Prisoner, I do believe we have to talk about something.”

 “Is this about last night, I thought we both agreed not to talk about it anymore.”

 “Yes, it is and yes, we did. I withheld information from you. It is true that I harbour certain feelings for you, but none that may jeopardize our friendship.” She gave him a look of longing, as if she was trying to convince him that she was the better choice.

 “Wow, that is a big thing to admit Celestia, but may I ask why?”

 “You are just so heroic, brave, foolhardy and exotic! How could I not feel such ways towards you. I do believe that Twilight harbours some of these as well, but maybe not as strongly.”

 “So, when I was in the hall and commenting on Luna, that must have hurt.”

 “Yes, it did.”

 “And the reason you wanted to escort me was because you wanted some alone time.”

 “Yes.”

 “So what, are you going to rape me again.” He then flashed her a cocky smile that he was famous for, and started to laugh.

 “Maybe?” she then looked at him and pounced, but instead of doing what she said she would do, she just started to laugh, and laugh and laugh, until both of them were on the floor and out of breath.

 “See, this isn’t so bad, we can still be friends.”

 “But you won’t ever see me in that way?” she looked at him, with hope in her eyes

 “No, not for this moment, but who knows, I might in the future, but right now, I can’t see that happening.”

 “What about Luna, do you think of her in such ways?”

 “Celestia, I know what you are trying to pull, and as a friend, I ask you to stop. Yes, Luna is attractive, no, I am not going to act on any feelings I have towards her for 2 reasons: One, I do not know her and Two, you are of a different species. While this isn’t weird for me in some ways, as there are interspecies relationships back on Nirn, you still look similar to horses, and this will take me awhile to get used to.”

 “Fine, but I will not give up on these feelings so lightly.”

 “I wouldn’t have expected you to do otherwise.” and with that he smiled at her and they both left his room.

 As the three of them sat down to eat, a large commotion was heard outside of the hall. Then the doors were pushed open to reveal a large white stallion with a blonde mane charging into the hall, and he had a look of anger on his face.

 “Aunt Celestia!” said the newcomer, straining his face with his shouting.

 “Yes nephew?” she rolled her eyes, expecting some outrageous claim that he would expect her to do.

 “Some freak attacked one of my friends today for no good reason, apparently he wasn’t even a pony, and then he had gall to threaten you as well! I want to be the one to find this monster and hang him from the rafters.” He then gave his ‘Aunt’ an expectant look, as if he thought she bowed to his every want and need.

 “Tell me nephew, what did your friend say this monster looked like.” she began to stifle a laugh as she and her sister had smile brought to their faces.

 “He said that it was bipedal, and he was wearing armor of some kind, and that he was as ugly as a hydra.”

 The Dovahkiin, realising the stallion was talking about him, started to pipe in.

 “I find that very offensive, I think I look half as good as a Hydra, do you not agree Celly?” He began to laugh as he thought up that nickname on the spot.

 “Wait, you let this ruffian eat at a table that is worthy of me?! How dare you!” he actually appeared shocked that they would do such a thing.

 “Hey, fuck-face! I am allowed to eat wherever I damn well please, and if you don’t like it then fight me like a real Nord.” The Dovahkiin then got up, and walked straight over to where the ‘Prince’ was standing.

 “How dare you speak like that to me, you urchin! You have no right! I think I will have to teach you some manners.”, and with that he bucked the Dovahkiin in the face, sending him to the ground.

 “Serves you right for thinking you can best me,  the Nephew of the Princesses.” he had a smug look on his face that the Dovahkiin found rightly infuriating, but instead of shouting when he got up, he instead started to laugh.

 “That was a good kick, but let me tell you this, it was probably the worst mistake you could possibly make. But, seeing as I am in a good mood, I will let you apologise, for this and for the trauma you caused my friends at the gala. If you do, you can walk away without your shit being fucked up.”

 “You think you can threaten me, I can have the guard on you in a minute and have you locked up without the key.”

 “So I will take that as a pass on the apology then.”

 “Most definitely.” He reared up for another kick to the Dovahkiin’s head, but he was too slow, the Dovahkiin dodged the attack and aimed a punch right into his face. As the fist connected, he grabbed the Prince by his mane and said “I am in a really good mood today, so I am going to give you another chance to apologise and leave with your ego intact, if you refuse however, I am not responsible for what happens next.

 “How about you let go of me ruffian!” and then he spit in the Dovahkiin’s face.

 “Fine by me, bitch!”

 “FUS RO DAH!” he shouted, sending the prince clattering across the floor, but before he could get up the Dovahkiin was upon him.

 “Hey bitch, have you got guard problems?” he said picking him up by his mane again.

 “Please just let me go I will do anything.”

He then began to break down crying a Celestia and Luna could not contain their Laughter, guffawing all over the floor.

 “ANSWER ME!” he screamed in the Prince’s face

 “Yes, I do have Guard problems, please don’t hurt me!”

 “So you got guard problems, I feel bad for you son, you got 99 problems and your knee is about to have one!”

 And with that he drew out his bow and notched an arrow into it, he then drew it back and released one right into the princes knee. As the screams of agony began to form from the newly formed hole in the Prince’s knee, he walked back to the dining table and sat down in his chair, the only thing he said about the incident was,

 “Send him to the hospital, he should really get that looked at.”

He then returned to eating some of his carrots.

 Both Luna and Celestia looked at him in awe, no one stood up to Blueblood, let alone actually threaten him, and now he comes along and beats the crap out of him, and when he is on the floor, begging for forgiveness, shoots an arrow through his knee in some kind of sick joke.

 Luna then turned to her sister and said,

 “Can we keep him Celestia? Pretty please? I think that we can have some real fun with him.” as she gave him a sly smile.

 “Oh God, does the torment never end.” The princess cringed at her sister's last sentence.

Chapter 5

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 5

As the Dovahkiin woke up, his thoughts drifted back to the night before; specifically his humiliation of Blueblood. He thought that he had done alright with that. The Prince even pissed himself a little! He remembers laughing a little bit too hard, but that was most probably the mead talking.

 It was then that Celestia walked in, but before she could start talking they both realised something, he was naked from the waist down, only wearing a thin loin cloth to hide his Nordic greatsword, if you know what I mean *wink-wink, nudge-nudge*. She then started to back out quickly, but not before taking a quick look from behind her hooves. Outside of the door, she started to apologise.

 “I am so sorry! I did not mean to intrude, I was going to knock but I figured you would still be asleep.” her voice partially muffled by the closed door.

 The Dovahkiin was still partially paralysed from the initial shock, but then quickly regained himself.

 “Do not worry about it, worse things have happened. Remember that story I told you on the way to the campsite?” He began to talk as he made his way out his bed and began to put on his armour.

 “Please do not remind me, I have had enough trouble trying to forget the other stories you’ve told me about already.” He then flashed her another smile, but this one was more goofy than cocky.

 “Princess, it was going to happen eventually, let us just forget it and move on.” He then began to walk on, but she stopped in her tracks, thinking of something witty to say.

 “I will have to remember this occasion, for later tonight.” she then gave him her best pervy smile, and they both began to laugh hysterically.

 “You are really perverted you know. I know you like me, but that was just something else.” He gave out one of the best laughs Celestia had heard for a while, a really deep, booming one.

 “They do not call me ‘Molestia’ for nothing.” She flashed him another one of her “Special” smiles, and they resumed laughing with more vigor.

 “So, what are we going to be doing today?” He asked, before stopping in front of what seemed like the Princess’ personal observatory.

 “We are going to be teaching you magic!” she proclaimed, obviously excited.

 “Two things. One, by ‘We’ I guess you mean you and Luna,” He had a hopeful look in his eyes, as he wanted to spend more time with the Goddess of the moon. “And two, do I need to remind you that I am a Master of Magic, in every form known to Nirn, I can cast spells that others couldn’t cast in their wildest dreams.”, to emphasize the last point he conjured A flame thrall to his side using his most mana draining spell. He then cut its connection to Oblivion and let it fade into nothingness.

 “That may be true, but you have no idea the sort of magic we cast here in Equestria.”

 “Fine, I guess we can both learn from this session, lets go in then.”

 Inside they found Luna in the middle of the room with a book levitating in front of her. When she saw them both she dropped the book and ran up to them, embracing her sister then giving the Dovahkiin a very ‘welcoming’ hug.

 “It is good to see you again Prisoner, did you sleep well?” she asked inquisitively.

 “By putting my head on a pillow and lying there for a good long while.” He and Celestia then burst out laughing for the third time today, but Luna was oblivious to the reason for it. After drying his eyes of tears of laughter, he explained the joke to her but she still didn’t seem to get it.

 “To answer your question in the way you wanted me to, I had a wonderful night Luna, all the more aided by your beautiful sky.” She began to blush at the comment as she had not heard that in a long time.

 “I slept well, it seemed to help knowing that today I could give something back to the person who has done so much for us as of late.” She then gave him a warm smile.

 “What, you mean me? What have I done except drugged Celestia and almost get both of us killed?”

 “You may have drugged me, but you also killed something that could have killed me with ease, you took it on like a plaything and killed it in the most excruciating way possible. You  also dealt with that pain-in-the-flank ‘nephew’ of ours. He really needed a good flank-kicking and you did us one better.” They both looked at him with a sense of respect, acknowledging the things he had done for them.

 “Well, that stuck up prick had it coming for him if you ask me, damn milk-drinker. So how is he doing in hospital anyway?” He wanted to know, not because he was concerned, for all he cared their ‘nephew’ could go and rot, but more for the fact that if their ‘nephew’ got off lightly, he would have to survive another brutal attack.

 “Well, his leg almost had to be amputated, but the doctors got to him in time to save it. He is currently under house-arrest for attacking a foreign dignitary, and he is not allowed out of his bed for 3 months.”

 “Good, but just let me know if he needs another ass-kicking, I would be happy to oblige.” And then came on the cocky smile, which made the Princesses feel more at ease.

 “Alright, are we ready to get started then?” asked the Celestia, already getting the prepared items from her saddlebags.

 “Yes, I do believe we are.” Said the Dovahkiin, wondering what these round metallic balls were for.

 “I want you to lift these with your magic.” She said, pointing to the two spheres.

 “Alrighty then.” He summoned two orange lights to his hands and concentrated on the spheres, it took a fair chunk of his mana reserves, but eventually he was able to lift them off the ground. As he looked back to the Princesses for approval for how he had done, they simply looked on in fascination.

 “So, did I do well?” He asked expectantly.

 “Extremely so. Those balls are supposed to be magic resistant, but you lifted them up with ease.” Luna was now looking intently at his hands, seeing how he channeled so much magic through them.

“Well I wouldn’t say it was easy. The use of significant amounts of magic does not affect me physically, but more mentally. I can cast spells all day, so long as I have a constant supply of Mana. Once that runs dry I have to wait for it to recharge.”

 “Interesting, so you can cast spells with no harm against your body, but only for a limited amount of time.” Celestia was now making the observations, also intently looking at his hands, and so was Luna. The Dovahkiin noticed this but decided to ignore it, it did not really matter.

 “Do you want me to try it again?” he asked, hoping them to say no.

 “Yes, but this time I want you to hold them up for as long as you can.” Luna asked, without taking her eyes off of his hands.

 “.....Okay then.” He was starting to get creeped out by the fact that they wouldn’t take their eyes off his hands.

 He then summoned another pair of orange lights to his hands. He held onto them for as long as he could. He managed to last for 5 minutes before his Mana was depleted. For the entire duration of the session, they couldn’t look away from his hands.

 “Uh, I just need to use the toilet. Do you mind?”

 “Not at all.” Celestia said. “It is just over there.” She pointed to a door to the left.

 As he walked inside he did not go to the toilet as he had said he would. He instead put his ear to the door to see if they would begin to talk about their fascination with his hands. After about 10 seconds the talking commenced.

 “Did you see them, all that power! So muscular! If I could I would just love to feel them!” Luna said, looking up to the ceiling thinking about it.

 “Wait, in what way do you mean ‘feel them’?” She asked, seemingly getting into her sisters’ mindset from looking at him.

 “Come now sister, you know what I mean.” The Princess blushed, trying not to say the words directly.

 “For the sake of the argument, say I do not?” Said Celestia, almost annoyed at the way things were turning out.

 “You have noticed that he is a handsome young man, have you not Celestia?” She asked slyly.

 “Luna, he is not of our world. It is wrong to have such feelings!” She said, with the Dovahkiin almost cringing in her hypocrisy.

 “What? To me, he is no different than a griffin, mule or donkey. They are simply other species, yet you have no qualms about bedding anyone of them! Father knows the amount of times you have!” Said Luna, trying to keep her voice down, while maintaining her tone.

 “Luna, how dare you! He is a guest, it is improper to have such thoughts.” Celestia was obviously aggravated at the responses she was receiving.

 “Come on! It is not like I have not seen you staring at him. That look in your eyes when your sight graces his face does not go unnoticed.” She then stared at her sister, a smile appearing on her face.

 Before things could get even more out of hand, the Dovahkiin stepped out from the bathroom and into the study, trying to look as innocent as possible.

 “Alright girls, I am back! Anything go on while I was in there?” he asked, almost too innocently, luckily neither of the girls noticed.

 “No, nothing was happening.” Luna smiled sweetly at him.

 “Alright then. I was thinking now that you have seen some of my magic, and I already know a lot, maybe I could teach you a few spells of my own?” He asked hesitantly, hopefully they wouldn’t take offence to his insinuating that they lacked knowledge in the forms of magic.

 “Of course not.” They both replied at the same time, creeping the Dovahkiin out even further.

 “Alright then, let me just get out a few tomes then we can get started.” He said clapping his hands together.

 He then went into his inventory that was stuck somewhere in the planes of Oblivion, letting him access it at anytime.

 He conjured forward two tomes, one of Conjuration, and one of Destruction.

 “Luna, I want you to read this tome and try and summon a familiar with it. Seeing as you have a more subtle magic, I think this will suit you just fine. As for you Celestia, I want you to read this tome and try to create a fireball with it. Since you control the Sun and it’s a big ball of fire.” He said this, trying to get the sisters from focusing on their books instead of giving evil looks to each other.

After half an hour of reading, which the Dovahkiin used to try and think of ways to stop the sisters from fighting over him, they both said they were finished. When Luna tried her first spell, she conjured up a very weak bird. The spell only lasted a few seconds. When Celestia tried, she was able to conjure up a fireball so big that they all had to duck for cover.

 After seeing Luna sad about her spell not working well, the Dovahkiin went over to her to try and help. But as he started to guide her hooves using his hands, Luna looked over to her sister and gave her a sly smile and a wink. She turned back to the Dovahkiin, who was now touching her horn with his magic, seeing if he could strengthen it.

 After a while, Celestia had had enough, she called out to the both of them,

 “Luna, Prisoner, Do you not think it is time for dinner?”, already getting up to leave.

 “Why yes, I do believe I am famished. Aren’t you Prisoner?”

 “I could eat.” He said, following Celestia out of the study.

 “Then let us depart.” she said, leading them away.

 “And then, I was like, ‘Bitch, I am the Dovahkiin!’, and then I stabbed him in the face! Ahhh, good times, good times.” He said while reminiscing about a time when he was mugged by a group of ten bandits.

 “What are these ‘Bandits’ you speak of.” asked Luna, with a confused look on her face.

 “You know, people who try to rob you and take everything you have with you, while almost always using swords.”

 “That sounds dreadful, why would someone do such a thing?”, asked Celestia.

 “Wait..., you mean to tell me that I have been living in this place for 10 DAYS, and you mean to tell me there is no banditry? Anywhere?!” The Dovahkiin was shocked, back in Skyrim you could not go a few minutes without Bandits approaching you. To most they are a threat, but to him they are just some short exercise.”

 “Yes! Why would anyone do something as cruel as that!” she was still shocked by his tale.

 “Because Luna, some people are dicks, that is about it really.”, as he said that he pulled out another bottle of mead. He proceeded to pull out another two bottles, handing them to the ladies.

 “To yet another successful day where my life wasn’t threatened!.” He raised his bottle and clinked them with the girls, who then returned the gesture and took a swig for themselves.

 “ACH! This stuff is awful, how can you tolerate it?” Celestia tried a bit and almost spat it out, but Luna was gulping hers down, trying to drink it as fast as possible.

 “But Celeshtia, thish shtuff tashtes great *hic*.” She was obviously drunk, which was surprising seeing as she had only finished her bottle a few seconds ago.

 Not one to be out-done, Celestia downed her own bottle, her face contorting as she went.

 “You are right Luna, *hic*, thish shtuff aint half bad.” Celestia was now almost as plastered as Luna, only making up for it in height.

 “WOW, you two really are lightweights! Come on, lets get you two to bed.” With that he helped both mares up out of their seats and through the large wooden doors, leaving the wait-staff to clean up later.

 As they walked through the halls the Princesses started to talk to each other.

 “Luna, I am sho shorry for what I shaid earlier *hic*, you can have him if you want.” Celestia was almost crying at this point, she was a very emotional drunk.

 “No, No, you desherve him, he was found by you, *hic*, after all.” Luna was also on the verge of tears.

 “Why don’t we let him decide which one of ush he wants to bed.”

 “Great idea, he should be the one to choose!” Luna exclaimed excitedly.

 Before either of them could ask however, the Dovahkiin made it to his door just in time.

 He hurriedly entered the room, before slamming the door he said in a rather rushed tone,

 “Well thank you ladies, tonight has been very insightful, but I must retire now, lest my manly urges get the better of me, good night.” he then proceeded to slam the door and jump on top of his bed, which he then proceeded to strip down and find himself a comfortable spot.

 Later on in the night however, he heard a noise coming from his door. He thought nothing of it and began to fall back to sleep. However, before the peacefulness of the dream world could take him, he heard a strange sound..

 “Hello, lover boy.” Said a very familiar voice

 “HOLY SHIT, BY TALOS’ BEARD YOU SCARED ME LUNA!” He started to shout, but was silenced by a hoof.

 “Why don’t you find a use for that screaming later, it could come in handy.” She then gave him a sly wink.

 “Luna, are you drunk?” He asked, already knowing the answer to his question.

 “Maybe? Why, does that bother you?” she started to push up close to him

 “Luna, please leave before we both do something we’ll regret.”

 “Oh, but I won’t regret a thing.” She then pushed herself on top of him, breathing hard into his neck.

 “Luna, I am giving you one last chance. Get. Off. Of. Me!” He tried to sound as forceful as possible, but to no avail.

 “I am never going to give up. Now hold still!”

 “I am really sorry for this Luna, and please forgive me.” He said, restrained against his bed by magic.

 “Oh, you are going to be sorry alright.” she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

 “FUS RO DAH!” (A/N: COCK BLOCKED. XD) He shouted, smashing Luna against the wall. As he watched his magic release,  he tried bolt for the doors only to see them encased in a blue aura. He would have tried to break them open with his shouts, but his mana needed to recharge and his weapons were in his nightstand.

 “You are not going to get away that easily.” Luna said, enveloping him in a blue light, depositing him on the bed.

 “This time I will not make the same mistake again, I am going to miss your screams of pleasure though.” She then stalked her way towards him slowly.

 When he tried to scream he found he couldn’t. Celestia had probably taught her the same trick to gag his voice thus preventing the use of his shouts. The last thing he could hear before she went over to him was.

 “Don’t worry, I will be gentle.”

Chapter 6

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Chapter 6

As Luna got off his completely paralysed body, she started to talk, but halfway through their ‘fun’ as she would call it, she cut off the sound travelling to his ears so as to keep him from going deaf at the use of her royal canterlot voice. After lying beside him for a while, she finally restored his hearing.

 “So how was it?” She asked, giving him one of the smiles he had now learned to fear.

 As she turned to face him, she saw something different in his eyes. It was as though he was broken. He just stared into her eyes, but it seemed as if he looked through her instead of at her. Not seeing the signs, she went over to him and tried again, and this time make him enjoy it. But what she did not realise is that in his hand now glowed a green fire, that was charging up from his pools of mana.

 “So how about we get started again. This time I might even let you do something.” She rolled over to his side and got a blasted with a paralysis spell.

*THUD*

As Luna fell into a paralysed state, she could see the Dovahkiin getting up and coming round to her side of the double bed. He proceeded pick up her motionless body and carry her to the balcony where he placed her on the ledge.

 “So. You thought you could just rape me did you?” He said, emphasising his question with a punch to her face. “Just expect me to take it would you?!” He punched her in the chest, this time making her bleed.

 “Maybe, if you had asked nicely, we could have done it normally!” he said as he begun kicking her in the chest. “DO ANY OF YOU REALISE WHO I AM AM!” He screamed at her, seeing tears well up in her eyes. “I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING DRAGONBORN!” He said, but then leaned close to her ear and quieted down to a whisper. “So how does it feel to be helpless and alone?”  He then leaned in even closer, his lips to her ears, the breeze tumbling through their hairs.

 “FUS RO DAH!” He shouted at her, sending her off the ledge and into a 500 foot drop off the edge of Canterlot. It was at this point Celestia decided to walk in, and see what all the fuss is about.

 She then glanced over at her sister, before she fell off the ledge. She ran forward but was too late, only able to see her as she plummeted into a fall. She turned around to see the Dragonborn standing there, a smirk upon his face.

 “WHAT DID YOU DO!” She screamed at him, grabbing him in her hold with magic.

 “What she brought upon herself.” He then began to laugh, a sad, broken laugh.

 “WHY?” She shouted, almost reduced to tears,

 “BECAUSE SHE RAPED ME!” He began to scream back. “SHE VIOLATED ME AND MY TRUST! WHEN IT WAS OVER AND I LOOKED INTO HER EYES, SHE CAME OVER AND TRIED FOR MORE.” It was at this point that he broke down crying, sobbing into her ethereal mane.

 Celestia began to awkwardly stroke his hair, realising that she couldn’t help but like him. But she could not act on her feelings, because of what had just transpired between him and Luna.

 “There, there, it’s alright. No need to cry.” She said, patting his head with her large wings.

 “I just don’t know what went wrong.” He was able to choke out before he went back to sobbing. Celestia just layed him down on the bed and let him hug her for as long as he needed.

 After what seemed like an eternity, Celestia realised that the Dovahkiin had gone to sleep resting his head on her chest, which by now was stained with an hours-worth of tears. It was then that Luna decided to hover in through the window she had been thrown out of, looking like she had come from the ninth circle of hell.

 She looked around the room with rage in her eyes, wanting to torture the Dovahkiin for a number of reasons. Chiefly among them being her rejected advances and being pushed out of a fucking window. When she found the Dovahkiin sleeping on Celestia’s chest she flew over to them in rage, trying to think of as many expletives as she could before getting over there. However, the moment she met Celestia’s eyes she could not help but sit down on the floor like a child.

 “Luna, it is time we had a talk.” She said very cooly.

 “About what big sister.” Luna said, trying to act oblivious.

 “About how we should treat guests, and try NOT TO RAPE THEM YOU STUPID MARE!” Celestia’s sudden out burst shocked Luna, never hearing her sister get angry at her once.

 “I WAS DRUNK! I DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD TURN HIM INTO THIS!” She said, pointing at the Dovahkiin, who was still soundly asleep. “I THOUGHT HE WOULD ENJOY IT, FATHER KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD TOLD HIM YOUR FEELINGS!”

 “DON’T YOU DARE BRING DAD’S NAME INTO THIS!” She screamed. “I WILL TELL HIM WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY!” They were both ready for a fight, getting into defensive stances.

 “WOOHOO catfight!” Shouted the Dovahkiin in a cocky smile.

 “Prisoner, get back, I’ve got this.” said Princess Celestia, turning towards him.

 “No, neither of you are going to fight. Instead, I would like to have a chat with The goddess of the Moon.” He looked at her, as if staring into her very soul.

 As she looked into his eyes, he motioned over to the bed. She sat down, and then he went up beside her.

 “Why?” Was all he said.

 “Why not?” She asked sheepishly.

 “Wrong answer, now tell me.” He gave her a steely glance.

 “I was drunk, and you are quite the looker you know.”

 “That gives you no right. But as I had already explained, if you had asked, maybe we could have.” He said, his expression softening a bit.

 “So.....Can we?” She asked, a hopeful look in her eyes.

 “Maybe, I have forgiven you based on the fact that you consumed a lot of alcohol for someone of your size last night, but let me make this crystal clear. If this ever happens again...”

 “Yes?” She asked, frightful of what he was about to say next.

 “I am on top!” he grinned at her, and gave her a big hug.

 “How can I stay mad at you, especially when you give me those big puppy dog eyes.” He said, embracing her warmly.

 “REALLY?! Just like that, you forgive her?!” Celestia was shocked at what happened, expecting him to hit her or worse.

 “Well, lets just say, it is not like I didn’t enjoy all of it.” He said, giving her a wink.

 “WOW, just wow. Only you could forgive someone for raping you.”

 “I have been through enough to know when someone actually means to hurt me.” he said, glancing at Luna, who was still in his embrace. “Who knows? Maybe tonight could be your turn?” He gave her a cheeky smile, and she just blushed.

 “I am going to hold you to that.” She said returning with a smile of her own. “Alright then, time for breakfast!”

 After descending from the Dovahkiin’s room and into the Dining hall, they were confronted with an unfamiliar sight. In front of them was a gang of 20 unruly nobles, lead by none other than Prince On-A-Pair-of-Crutches.

 Celestia was the first to ask, “Blueblood, what are you doing here?” She asked, smothering her question with fake sincerity.

 “You know exactly why, you stupid mare! I am here to teach this beast a lesson.” he said, pointing one of his crutches at the Dovahkiin.

 “Alright pretty boy, ready for round three?” He said, cracking his neck and knuckles, summoning a bound greatsword.

 “You won’t be laughing when we break your knees.” said Blueblood, whose voice was accompanied by many whoops and cheers.

 “Before we start this fight, I would like to tell you a story from my past, one that I would like to forget, but listen anyway, for if you have not run in fear, then we can both stand and fight like men.” he then stared at them, and began to recount his tale.

 “Not so long ago, in a country not unlike this one, I was a warrior fighting under the flag of the Wol. Our leader, Ulfric, was merciless, killing all who stood in his way. I was like him, killing without a thought. Then one day, he asked me to take out an entire city of our enemies. This was our last charge, our chance to retake Skyrim for the Nords! Alas, it was a fateful battle. Throughout the day we fought, killing man after man, inflating our death toll in the hundreds, when suddenly, I felt a rush of air and metal clash against metal. I turned around to see who had tried to end my life and saw a small boy’s face, no older than 12 years, look back into mine. In the heat of the moment I lost my focus and wrought this boy’s head from his shoulders, ending his life almost instantaneously. But that was not what happened. The sword that I killed him with had an enchantment that, when taking someone's life, sucks their soul out of their body and puts it in a crystalline cage. I took the cage that was torturing his soul, finding his weak points and breaking it down. When I saw his mother and father, holding each other in the doorway shaking with fear, I did something that others would call monstrous. I took up the challenge with vigor. I used this boy’s soul to enchant one of my many daggers. I went up to his parents and killed them where they stood, the dagger sucking their souls into the eternal void of Sithis only to be called upon when my enchantments needed sustenance. While others would have cried or fled, I laughed, right in their undead faces and carried on fighting with uninhibited glee, killing many hundreds before the day was done. Finally, we had finished killing every single imperial left in the city, and retaking it for our cause.” After that lengthy story, he let out a sigh and stared down at Blueblood and his lackeys, who were now utterly terrified of him.

  And the only response he could see was applicable was holding out his ghostly blade, pointing at them, and shouting “BOO!” At that, they all left in a hurry, leaving behind golden rapiers and shields alike.

 He turned towards the Princesses, who were not staring in shock like he expected them to, only they were both laughing at the cowardliness of his foes defeat.

 “So, are you two not frightened of me after that story?” He asked them, genuinely confused as to why they did not mind.

 “Oh, do not worry Prisoner, we knew it was only a story.” They were still laughing, but this time it was dying down.

 “Oh, it was no story, I actually did those things and more.” he said, giving them a look that could only be described as apologetic.

 “Well, I doubt we could be too surprised, after all you did come from that dreadful world.” Said Luna, not even the slightest bit angry after hearing what he had done.

 “Yes, Luna is right, you were only doing what felt right to you.” she said, giving him the warmest of smiles. “Come now, let us carry on to breakfast.”

 Halfway through their meal, talking took over and they began discussing all manner of things, specifically the Gods in Skyrim.

 “So, this Lorkhan, he gave his body to create your planet?” she looked perplexed, as this seemed so alien to her.

 “Yes, and through him, all of us were created.” He said, trying to explain it in as simple a way as possible.

 “That is an interesting story Prisoner, maybe later we can discuss them in more detail.” She said, trying to finish up the last of her food.

 “Throughout the entire conversation, Luna had a very confused look on her face, and finally, she had a chance to air her question.

 “Prisoner, if you do not mind me asking, why did you forgive me so readily, yet almost try to kill me not two hours beforehand?” she asked, fencing her question to him.

 “This is a very simple answer Luna, I am a drug addict who had not taken his daily dose in a while. If it had not been for Celestia’s warming touch, I would have tried to kill you on site.” He said, explaining it as though it were commonplace.

 “Wait, you are a drug addict, when were you planning on telling us?” Celestia said, not in an angry tone, more of an annoyed one.

 “Come now Celestia. You have tried said drug, with quite interesting consequences if I might add.” he then winked at her, making her recall already repressed memories.

 “You are hooked on that dreadful SKOOMA?! It is a vile concoction, how could you stand it?”

 “To me, it tastes fine, so quit your bellyaching! It is giving me a headache.” He said, flashing a smile.

 “Ugh, fine, but do not come crawling back to me when you are dying.” She gave him a grin, and they all began to laugh.

 “Anyway, Prisoner, I was thinking we could go back to Ponyville tomorrow. Twilight has sent 3 letters in the days you have been here asking how you are. She says she wants you to meet her friends.”

 “I would be honoured to.” He said, remembering a few of his memories with Twilight.

 “Good. Just make sure that she doesn’t rape you, we all know how well that turns out.” Celestia then looked at Luna, who hid her head in  shame.

 “Not if I get there first.” The Dovahkiin said, getting another round of laughter from everyone.

 “Well then, shall we begin today's lessons, I think today we should teach you how to be a man.”

 “I think first we should teach you, Celestia, how to be a proper woman.”

Wedding Special - Part 1

The Dovahkiin Files: Equestria

Wedding Special

“Do we really have to do this?” Exclaimed the Dovahkiin, giving a small sigh.

“Yes, now man-up and put on your suit.” Said Celestia, levitating his suit up to his view.

“The last wedding I went to did not end well and it would be terrible if something were to happen to this one.” He said with mock sincerity, remembering what he did to the last couple that ruined his day.

“Do you always have to reference the fact that you kill people?” Said Luna, who was admiring herself in another mirror.

“Yes dear, I really do, It livens things up a little bit I think.” He then flashed her a cheeky grin, “So who is getting married then?”

“My niece Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and the captain of the royal guard Shining Armour.”

“So I have to go to a stuffy royal wedding, for two people I don’t know, In a place that I have only been at for a month with 2 people that I have nearly killed on different occasions.”

“Pretty much, yes.” Said Celestia, now out-right staring at the Dovahkiin

“Okay, but don’t blame me when shit goes down.”

“This is Equestria, the most peaceful country in all of Equis.”

“Oh, is that so? Then please explain to me the huge pink shield surrounding the castle, or the fact that you nearly got killed by a dragon, or the whole ‘Blueblood tried to kill me’ thing.”

He then began to have a staring contest with Celestia, seeing who would back down from their position first. This, however did not last long, as the Dovahkiin used some slight illusion magic to turn his eyes into those of a wolf. Celestia flinched as he did this, winning him this round.

“You should really never try that with me, I have killed me with my looks alone.”

“Again with the killing, I would book you with a therapist, but I am afraid she would have a heart attack just looking at you and your ugly mug.” said Luna, now turning away from her mirror.

“You didn’t think it was so ugly that night last week, did you?”

“Do you always have to bring that up, I have apologised!”

“Apology for rape isn’t going to cut it Luna.”

“Fine, we will reimburse you some other way.”

“I may have something in mind, but it will have to wait until after this boring-ass wedding.”

“I will hold you to that” And with that they all trotted out of the room.

After they had left the Princess’s room they had made their way down to the main hall, where the Dovahkiin was to meet the Bride and groom.

“So, these are the happy couple then?” The Dovahkiin said as he strode towards the pastel coloured ponies.

“Yes, this is Shining armour.” She said, pointing at the white unicorn with the blue mane.

“Pleasure to meet you.” he said, lifting his front hoof forward.

“Same here,” the Dovahkiin grabbed his hoof and shook it vigorously. “So, Shining Armour, I hear you are Captain of the Guard.”

“Yes, I am charged with the protection of the Princesses at any cost.”

“Yes, well hopefully not at any cost, I would hate to have killed you in the middle of one of me and Princess Luna’s arguments.” The face-hoof from behind him was audible to say the least.

“Well, I would like to see you try.” He said, glaring at him.

“I like this one, spirit of a true Nord, your race might not be as unsalvageable as I originally thought Celestia.” He said, flashing a rueful grin.

“Well, yes. Anyway, Shining Armour here is the one keeping up the force field around Canterlot, which he so kindly carrying the burden on his own.”

“Seriously, why him? I thought Twilight was your go to person on magic? It is her element after all.”

“Wait, how do you know my sister?” Shining armour asked, butting into the conversation.

“Now, I can see why, magic must be thick in their blood. Anyway, to answer your question, I knocked her out and almost killed her, then became one of her friends.”

“Uhmm, alright then.” Said Shining Armour, seeming slightly dazed.

“Good, now onto the mare with the horn and wings.” He said, moving on.

“This is my niece Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” She said, pointing a hoof at the pink mare.

“Hello there Princess.” Said the Dovahkiin, putting one of his hands forward to shake her hoof.

“That is not how you greet a princess, you should be bowing.” She said, lifting her nose at him

“Well, I am in no way bound by your laws here, and I have no reason to as you have done nothing to earn my respect.” He then put his hand back to his side, now showing her no form of courtesy.

“Just for that, I should have you sent to the dungeons.” She then pointed her horn at him, signalling some guards.

“Well, It seem someone took an extra glass of ‘uppity bitch’ today, with that may I recommend my own famous canned brand of ASS-WHOOPING!” He drew his daedric sword in one hand, and held a ball of pure energy in the other, ready to pounce like a tiger. For a few seconds, everyone was still, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“ENOUGH, both of you.” Shouted Celestia in a firm but un-menacing voice. “Guards, sheathe your weapons, you too Prisoner.”

“Well if it doesn’t seem someone already has an apt name for where he should be.” She said, now walking off with a confused Shining Armour in tow.

The Dovahkiin then shouted after her, “YEAH, WELL IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD WATCH MY TONGUE, BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE CUTS IT OUT!” He then turned back to face the sisters, visibly seething.

“Prisoner, don’t you think that was a little much?” Asked Luna, backing away from the angry Nord.

“Remember how I told you I hate nobles, well that is the reason why.” he flicked a middle finger in Cadence’s direction.

“Still, that was a slight over reaction, although her wedding is coming up, so stress might be getting the better of her.”

“I don’t know how you do your prissy little weddings down here, but in Skyrim you meet the girl, ask her to marry you then have the wedding on the same day.”

The two sisters looked at him as though he were a madman.

“Why would you do that, shouldn’t you even get to know each other first?”

“In Skyrim, life is short, so you try and live it to its fullest while you still have the chance.” After leaving that thought in their minds they walked off, looking to get something to eat.

“So, what is on the agenda for today then?” asked the Dovahkiin, eager to get the Princess out of his mind.

“Well, I was thinking of letting you go and meet Twilight when she arrives, she has been so eager to see you again.” Said Celestia, scarfing down another piece of cake.

“Good, it has only been about 2 weeks but it seems like ages since we have last seen each other.”

“Well, you are in luck, it seems her train is just arriving.” Celestia said, pointing her hoof out the window.

“Good, I think I will go down and meet her.” The Dovahkiin said, pushing his plate away and putting his helmet back on.

As the Dovahkiin made his way out of the Castle’s dining room, where he had been eating, and into its central hall, he could hear some commotion coming from outside.

“I am still pretty ticked you are marrying some pony I don’t know!”

As the Dovahkiin looked up, he saw Twilight with a hoof to her brother's chest, shouting at him slightly. He was glad to see Twilight, and started to make his way up to where they were.

After a few minutes of climbing up a set of stairs, the Dovahkiin was able to finally see Twilight, and she was talking to Shining Armour and Princess Cadence. As he walked up, the Princess caught sight of him.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, giving him a stare that could kill a lesser man.

“I don’t know about you, but I am here to talk to my favourite unicorn.” He gestured to Twilight. “See, not everything revolves around you.” As Cadence gave him a small sniff, he muttered a few words under his breath whose foulness would strike fear into the heart of a child.

“Alright, Cadence, we should be leaving. Twilight, have a good time with your friend.” And with that Princess Cadence and Shining Armour Trotted off.

“So, Twilight, how is my favourite unicorn doing.” The Dovahkiin asked, giving the small pony a big embrace.

“Good, thank you. Although Cadence seems a little off.” She said, giving him a sad smile.

“Yeah, well no shit. She almost had me killed earlier today for not bowing to her. Bitch needs the pole taken out of her ass.” The Dovahkiin said, huffing slightly.

“Hey! While she might seem a little mean, she is still going to be my sister-in-law, so don’t start with the insults.”

“Fine, also, Celestia said something about you needing help with planning, so I am here if you need me.”

“That is good; first we need to check on Applejack and her baking.” Twilight brought out a checklist to emphasise this fact.

“Alright, let us go and pray to the divines we do not run into the new princess.”

“Cake, check!” Shouted Applejack, running up a ladder, finishing off the icing.

Twilight then took out her checklist and ticked, seeming slightly annoyed for some reason.

“Ice sculpture, check!” Shouted Applejack a second time, with Twilight again begrudgingly ticking her check list.

Applejack then ran to the oven and took out a selection of what looked to be cupcakes.

“Best darn apple fritters you ever tasted.” Said Applejack, reaching over to put one in Twilights mouth, but before she could, the Dovahkiin bounded across the kitchen and leaped into the air, his mouth placed perfectly before Twilights, letting the treat fall into his mouth.

“BY THE GODS! That was delicious; Ulfric himself would have his mouth watering at such treats.” Spoke the Dovahkiin, which came out quite muffled as his mouth was full.

“Twilight, I am going to give you 5 seconds to tell me who this varmint is before I buck him in the head.” Applejack whispered hooves up in defence.

“This Applejack, is Prisoner, he is staying with Luna and Celestia as an honoured guest.” Exclaimed Twilight, using her hoof to point at the Dovahkiin.

“Well, I guess if you are alright around him, I can be too.” She extended her hoof forward in a formal manner. “Hi, my name is Applejack and welcome to Equestria.”

“Very nice to meet you, Applejack.” He said, taking her hoof and shaking it. As he let go of her very strong hoof, the doors opened, and who else except Princess Cadence walked in.

“All bow before the Princess.” Shouted a fore bearer.

All of the ponies around him bowed, but the Dovahkiin did not falter, instead giving her a glare.

“I said, all bow.” Said the fore bearer again, this time giving the Dovahkiin a look.

“The only time I kneel in front of her is with my neck on a block and an axe to my neck.” The Dovahkiin threatened, spitting in Cadence’s general direction.

“Fine, if he does not want to bow, we shall vacate elsewhere.” Threatened Cadence, taking off in protest.

“Well, you just had to go and do that now, didn’t you?” Twilight exclaimed, trying to run off after Cadence, but she had already left.

“You know what Twilight, I think I am going to go off and sleep, the wedding is tomorrow, and I am going to need it. Come wake me an hour beforehand.” The Dovahkiin said, walking off into the distance.

The Dovahkiin just started to wander aimlessly, not really realising where he was walking, not really caring. After a few minutes of this he saw an open door and decided to go into the house and ask for directions back to the castle.

As he opened the door, he could see that this must of been the house of a very high up noble, the entire place was marble and gold and the balcony was easily the length of several houses put together.

When he started to look around more, he could hear quite a lot of noise coming from one of the rooms, after a short while he found the disturbance. He opened the door slightly ajar to see what was going on inside, which was when he realised his mistake. Inside of the room was Princess Cadence and Shining Armour, he must of walked in on their pre-wedding night rutting. Not one to be seen in awkward situations like these, the Dovahkiin started to close the door, but not before sneaking one more look for his memory store.

“Cadence, please this is hurting me!” The Dovahkiin heard Shining Armour shout.

“Don’t worry dear; this shouldn’t hurt one single bit.” She said, putting her horn up to his forehead. Then the Dovahkiin could see a bright green light and Shining Armour fell to the ground.

 As he saw this, the Dovahkiin started to back away, not wanting to be associated with a possible murder. Then he realised he had been accused of murder countless times, and that when you are accused of murder, more murder is usually the easiest way out, and so he charged in there, weapons-a-blazing, literally, he had set his two swords on fire.

 “AYO BITCH, TIME TO DIE!” Shouted the Dovahkiin, ready to pounce on this would be murderer, but, unfortunately, this was not on the case. As he barged into the room, what he did not notice was Shining Armour instead falling onto his bed, with a few pillows supporting him, and then being rudely awoken from his magic-born sleep from the Dovahkiin’s shouting.

 As he looked round and saw this, the Dovahkiin suddenly saw that he was in the wrong, again. He had just walked into the home of a Princess and a captain of the royal guard, then purposefully sneaked a glance when he thought they were having sex, and then barged into their room when one was being put to sleep after a stressful day.

In the confusion of the situation, Cadence had lifted up the Dovahkiin, realising her chance to get rid of him once and for all.

 “Shining, HELP ME!” Cadence screamed, trying to wake him from his groggy state. She was going to have to lock him up for the rest of the wedding so he could not interfere.

 “What...what is going on?” Said Shining

 “This...this CRETIN! Broke into our home, came into our room, and tried to stop me from easing your pain! He is a lawbreaker, a defiler and a unpatriotic scum who would not bow to a Princess, as a monarch of your country, I command you to arrest him!” shouted Cadence, faking anger quite well, as she already had some for this Welch.

 “At once my highness!” Shouted Shining Armour, following orders easily, as it was second nature to him. He charged to Dovahkiin, readying his horn and charging it with a paralysis spell.

 All that could be heard before the Dovahkiin was hit was a loud screaming, sounding a lot like the Dovahkiin.

 “I beseech you, do not electrify me brethren.” He shouted as he hit the ground, knocking himself unconscious from the impact.

 As he was carried away by Shining Armour, he could vaguely hear Cadence laughing maniacally in the back of his mind, although she was not able to penetrate his mental barriers, as he had them strengthened by his constant exposure to daedra and other-worldly items.

 When the Dovahkiin woke up, he found himself chained to a bed my iron shackles. As he looked around at his dark surroundings and saw that there were a set of bars in front of him, he deduced that he must be in a jail of some sort, most likely the castle dungeons, he had been down here before in one of his many tours of the castle, but this time he was the one behind the bars, not a would be criminal.

To pass the time before the Princess would come and eventually retrieve him, he tried to see if some of his other shouts would work here in Equestria, but, then he realised that his mouth had been gagged. He thought how Cadence could’ve gotten information on his shouts, but then he thought that Celestia must have mentioned it to her. But to his surprise, they had left his palms free, big mistake.

As soon as the Dovahkiin found his palms empty, he began to channel his mana to them, but found he couldn’t, after trying several times, he saw that the bands on his hands that he had believed to be just ordinary shackles, were in fact engraved with strange runic symbols, upon further inspection, he saw that they were the daedric symbols for “Cancel” and “Magic”. After further pondering, he observed that the words themselves must have power like the ones in the dragon language, but while those are more simple and easier to see, these have subtle effects, and are difficult to understand if you do not have prior knowledge. Upon even further inspection, he also found the symbols for “Suppress” and “Strength”, most probably meaning that even he would have a very hard time breaking these bands, even with his muscles of steel.

 “By the nine, does she want me to die of boredom?” Half shouted the Dovahkiin, mostly out of frustration that Celestia had left him down here for a good few hours, although only a muffled sound came out, as he was still gagged.

Then, almost instantly, he heard the gate behind him open, but instead of seeing a white Alicorn began, he was greeted by a pink one. simply laughed a very “I am better than you” laugh. She then to trot over to him.

 “Prisoner, living up to your namesake I see?” Said Cadence spitefully, giving him a look of disdain.

If the Dovahkiin was unbound and ungagged, he would have punched her in the face and melted her to a crisp with his fire breath, but unfortunately, he was neither. Seeing his struggling, Cadence

 “I think I have won now Prisoner, there is no where you can go, no one to turn to, I even made a very convincing argument to Aunt Celestia, telling her all about how you barged into my house and endangered Shining Armour’s life, although at first she did not believe me I was able to convince her after Shining gave a testimony for my side of the argument. It was so sad that I had to brainwash him again, I am just beginning to think his feeble mind might not be able to take what I am doing to it.” She said in a long dramatic monologue, with the Dovahkiin looking on in absolute puzzlement.

Seeing the Dovahkiin’s confused state, Cadence continued.

“So, you are wondering why I am doing this, manipulating royalty and military alike, well since you are not going anywhere for a very long time, I suppose I can tell you the gist of it. I am not evil, I am only doing this for the greater good, and my subjects are almost starving. I came here to try and feed them and taking over Equestria is the easiest way to do it. As for why you are down here, I do not want you to stop me, and while I could try to kill you, I believe that would be too hard, even at my current power. You seem to be extremely resilient to my mental magic as well, so it seems like my only choice is to keep you confined here until you die of starvation or old age, whichever comes first for your race. Well, I need to go and plan my new world order, so ciao for now.” Cadence finished, walking out of the Dovahkiin’s cage, laughing in triumph.

All the Dovahkiin could do was watch on, resigned to the fact that he will die in here if he stayed.

 After a few hours, the Dovahkiin started to hear music from above him, the loud thumps of bass and hoof steps, and the quiet chatter of ponies. This must of meant that the preparation dinner was above him, not that it mattered, as he was still chained up.

 In frustration, the Dovahkiin got up, went to the wall, and started to kick and hit it as hard as he could, which was causing extreme strain on his already weak body. Just as he was about to give up, he kicked the wall one last time, trying to see if he could break it. But instead of the wall chipping, it was his foot shackles. Surprised at this revelation, the Dovahkiin looked down in more detail at his foot bindings.

 Upon further examination, he saw that they had no Daedric markings on them, meaning that they were breakable to some extent. Even though they were not enchanted, they were still used to hold prisoners, and would be tough to break.

 What the Dovahkiin did next was something he would have thought not possible, he started to try and channel his mana into his legs, but not in any form of spell, just in pure, unadulterated energy. After struggling with this foreign presence in a place that was not meant to wield magic, he was able to expand the air around his shackles, super charging it with energy and causing it to explode.

 In awe of the fact that he had discovered a new way in which to channel magic, he had forgotten to summon a shield to protect his legs from the explosion he had caused.

 With his burns that while healable, hurt like hell, no armour, and magic that is now empty and can’t recharge for a while because of his fatigue, the Dovahkiin was more than helpless, all he could now rely on was his brute strength and his never ending luck, and today Lady Luck dawned on him greatly, as the explosion that he had just caused also blew open the wall behind him. Seeing this as an escape plan, he hastily made his escape, trying to make his way to the practice ceremony before it was too late.

 “Perfect girls, no need to rush.” Chimed Celestia, watching the Mane 6 walk down the aisle.

 “Then Cadence will enter.” as Celestia said this, the doors were illuminated by a yellow and blue light, opening them to show Cadence.

 As Cadence walked down the aisle, Twilight was standing next to Shining Armour, holding out the rings expectantly.

 As Cadence and Shining Armour rubbed horns, the Dovahkiin burst in, running like a mad man, followed by an entire entourage of guards.

 “STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!” One of the Guards shouted, levitating a bow and arrow.

 “How about no!” Shouted the Dovahkiin, hopping up the steps to a stunned Cadence and Celestia.

 “H-how did you get out of our trap.” Cadence almost screamed, fearful of her life, now that her only enemy was loose.

 The Dovahkiin just looked at her, rage seeping from his eyes in a cold hard stare.

 “There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow there's one thing you never ever put in a trap.” Calmly the Dovahkiin said, keeping up his coldness.

 “And what would that be?” Said Celestia, now butting into the conversation, angry at the prisoner escaping.

 “Me.” The Dovahkiin exclaimed, walking up to Cadence and striking her with his foot, as he did this he turned around and tried to headbutt Shining Armour in the face, but was constricted by Cadence and Celestia’s magic.

 “You shall go no further!” Warned Celestia, taking a battle stance should the Dovahkiin get loose.

 “Me, Celestia you know that I would never hurt you, maybe Luna, but not you.” Said the Dovahkiin, looking into those big magenta eyes, Celestia had to look away lest her resolve falter.

 “You shall be detained until you are proven innocent of the crimes bequeathed upon you, guards take him away.” Celestia at this point was almost tearing up.

 “Wait, you shall not take him away, instead showcase him in this room, so that tomorrow when this room is full, it shall serve as an example to those who think of defying the crown.” Cadence exclaimed, levitating the Dovahkiin to eye level and making a force field surround him.

“Since he is your prisoner, you can do as you wish, come on girls, let us leave this criminal alone.” Celestia said, ushering all but one of the girls out of the hall.

 As Twilight walked up to the Force field she could only think of one question to ask the Dovahkiin.

 “Why?” She asked tentatively, afraid of angering him further.

 As the Dovahkiin, he looked at her with a sadness in his eyes, as if he was deeply troubled by what came to pass.

 “Why, Twilight, well that is quite a complex answer. Mainly, it is because it is not my fault, your Princess set me up as a patsy, and now I have taken the bait.” The Dovahkiin said quietly. “She is evil Twilight, I know first hand. She trapped me and caged me as though I was some sort of animal. The only way I was able to get out was almost killing myself, and even then it wasn’t enough. She now has to humiliate me in front of a bunch of ponies as though I were a common mule.”

 “W-what, I don’t believe, Cadence is the avatar of Love, she would never do something like that!” Twilight exclaimed, defending her former foal sitter.

 “Oh but Twilight, I am not the Cadence you know!” Said Cadence, sneaking up on them.

 “C-cadence, what are you doing here?” Wondered Twilight aloud, looking at the Princess.

 “Why, tying up loose ends of course, now that he has told you everything, I can’t have you running around anymore.” With this Cadence’s horn glowed a sickly green.

 “TWILIGHT, RUN!” Shouted the Dovahkiin, but it was too late, as a demonic fire surrounded them both, sending them into whatever lay below.

 As Twilight sunk into the ground, she could faintly hear..

 “Sunshine, Sunshine, ladybugs awake...”