Hatoful Ponyfriend - Bad Ponies Love

I'm late! It's noon already! I throw myself out of bed and I land face-first on the floor. There's a knocking at the door. I panic as I attempt to make it to the front door. When I finally manage to get the door open, I see Princess Luna standing on my doorstep. I bow, slamming my face into the floor again.

"Good morning, miss Hooves," the princess of the night says, a little smile on her face.

"Oh, good morning Princess Luna," I reply, flustered. "How can I help you?"

The midnight-blue alicorn smiles. "I'm sorry to bother you, miss Hooves, but I must ask a favor. I'm needed in the square very soon and I must pick up a box of papers at the Ponyville Post office. You are a dependable mail pony, I was wondering if you would be able to fly over, pick it up, and bring it to me in the square. I would do it myself, but I'm afraid that I'm running quite low on time and the post office is on the other side of town."

A delivery request from a princess! What a fantastic job! "I won't let you down, Princess! You can count on me!" I bring a hoof to my forehead in a salute.

"Thank you, miss Hooves," Princess Luna says as she turns around. "I appreciate it." She spreads her wings and takes off into the sky, heading toward the town square. She certainly has seemed happy ever since she took a job as a magic teacher here in Ponyville.

As soon as she is gone, I turn around and head to the kitchen for a quick breakfast. Two muffins, an apple, and juice, just like every morning. I bolt out of the door and fly in the opposite direction. My first royal delivery job. How exciting! As I fly, it occurs to me that it still is a bit odd that such an important pony would decide to teach in a small town such as Ponyville. Why did she even come looking for the job? She must have many responsibilities that she left behind when she moved. It's a mystery, but nopony's complaining. Her vast knowledge can only bring good changes to Ponyville. I hadn't thought about it until now.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice the large tree in front of me until I nearly collide with it and spin out of the way with grace that even Rainbow Dash could be proud of. Or she would, if I hadn't hit the sign in front of the Ponyville Post Office and back-flipped haphazardly through the front door.

"You are only five minutes late, Derpy Hooves," my boss, Posthaste, says as he looks at his watch. He sits the front desk, as always. "Right on time. Your delivery assignments are over there." He points at the clipboards neatly hung on the far wall.

I walk over and check my clipboard, the only one with stickers on it. It seems that Princess Luna's box isn't on my list. I turn around and head back to the front desk.

"Sir, I was sent to pick up a specific package. Would it be alright if I took care of it before I start today's work?"

He looks up at me from his own paperwork and frowns. "Miss Hooves, you should know better than to put personal matters before your work."

"It's for Princess Luna," I add.

"Is it now?" My boss frowns. "She said she would come by to pick it up herself."

"She's running late, sir. She asked me to take it to her in the park myself. I'd hate to make her angry."

"Right. She didn't mention what's in the box, did she?"

I'm hesitant to reply, but I say, "Paper, sir."

My boss looks down and starts searching under the front desk. "Hmph. Little Flickerwing had trouble getting it here, it's so heavy. She's small, but even she can carry a whole stack of porcelain plates from one end of town to the other. Unharmed, mind you." He peeks his eyes over the desk and glares at me for a moment.

"It must be very heavy paper, sir," I reply simply. After a few seconds, I add, "Long Haul says you can't break paper, that's why she gives me the paperwork deliveries to take to the courthouse." The accident with the plates was an honest mistake. People shouldn't just leave lampposts in the middle of the street like that, anyway.

Posthaste pulls the package out and sets it on the desk and it lands with a hearty thunk. "You be careful now, miss Hooves," he warns. "Don't break the princess's delivery." He goes back to his paperwork.

As I take the strings around the box in my teeth, I say, "Sir, I really don't think you can break paper."

"I'm sure you would find a way, miss Hooves," Posthaste says, not looking up. "Off you go. And give the princess my regards."

He is right, the box is heavier than most boxes of paper, even the heavy legal texts I've carried. It's a struggle to even get off the ground, but the flight isn't as hard once I get used to the weight. The square is a little ways away, so I decide to make a grand appearance.

I begin a steady climb into the air as I think it through. I'll dive straight to the ground, drop the box at the princess's hooves, and fly back up with a set of spins and twirls before landing in front of her. Maybe a casual head toss at the end, no, a dramatic pose! This will make up for my little accident with the tree.

I can see Princess Luna from here, standing near the fountain. With a deep breath, I turn in a dive and begin speeding toward the princess. Only seconds after I begin my trick, it occurs to me that I had not considered the weight of the package. Frantically, I try to stop, but the weight keeps dragging me down. I want to scream, to call out and warn everypony to look out, but I can't risk dropping the package and no doubt finding a miraculous way to break the paper inside.

When I'm almost at the ground, I take careful aim and drop the package. It lands at Princess Luna's hooves. She looks around and calls out, "Miss Hooves?" right as I crash into the ground beside her.

"Delivery successful," I say, the words a bit harder to pronounce than I last remember. "Please take a form and rate my service, we at Ponyville Shipping and Handling value your opinion and we hope to serve you again soon..." The last words come out as I slump back down on the floor.

"Miss Hooves!" Princess Luna looks down at me with concern. "Are you injured?"

"Right as rain, Princess!" I reply as I stand once again, a bit wobblier than last time. "Gee... when did you grow another horn?"

She smiles and shakes her head. "Good, thank you." Frowning, the alicorn leans close to look at me. "That's quite the nosebleed you have there, miss Hooves."

"Huh?" I blink and sniff. "My nose is fine, Princess."

"You are bleeding."

I squint and look at the tip of my nose. There's a large splotch of blood on it. I don't feel any pain, nothing feels out of place. "That's not my blood." I forget to address the princess as I lift a hoof to wipe the sticky red substance off.

Princess Luna frowns, then looks at her package. "Are you sure you picked up the right box, miss Hooves?"

I follow her gaze and, confused, I say, "Posthaste is never wrong. That's your package, he said. He also says hi."

"Impossible..." the princess says quietly as she lifts up the box with magic and unties the string.

My face falls. "You mean I really did find a way to break paper?" I can see my life and career flash before my eyes.

"Miss Hooves, you tell Posthaste that paper cannot be broken no matter how hard you try. It can be ripped, burned, and ruined by the elements, but it cannot be broken. No, you did not break the paper. I... what do I tell my sister?"

"What is it?" I walk toward the box and look inside.

When I do, I wish I hadn't.

There is paper in the box, yes, but that is not all. The sides and top of the box are splattered with blood and the paper itself is completely soaked. I never see the writing on it, all I can see is the decapitated head of a baby dragon, eyes glassy and scales dull. I can recognize him, even like this. The only baby dragon in Ponyville.

Spike is dead.