Chapters The Start of Something Beautiful
Applejack stared at the empty field, the dry weeds rose up above the crops eating at them, taking their luscious glow, their beautiful luster was gone, deteriorating from the killing plants. She haddent managed to fight them, she hardly wanted to, too far gone? Too lazy? She didn't consider her efforts to be strong enough, sbe didn't consider her work to be helpful, not now.
"Hey Applejack, the weeds won't go away by just staring at them!", Rainbow Dash called from a cloud above hovering over Applejack's head.
"Yeah ah know", Applejack said frowning at the dying field. The weather had just gotten hot allowing the weeds their chance to move in and suck the life from any living plant they can find, Applejack's crops just happened to be the next victim, the weeds' next unlucky field to be wiped out.
"Then why are you staring at them? Go kill them!", Rainbow said sitting up on her cloud glancing at the field.
"Yeah", Apple said putting on a fake smile, "now whataya say we go ta that...uh...get together at Twilight's place?"
"Yeah", Rainbow Dash agreed looking at Applejack, she felt something was wrong, she couldn't figure out what, but she knew it was there and she didn't like what it was doing to her friend.
"So how's it been, Applejack?", Rainbow Dash asked trying to break the awkward silence.
Applejack said nothing as she strutted along kicking pebbles that came along every once in a while. She didn't seem to hear Rainbow Dash's question as she didn't even hint that she was paying attention.
"Applejack!", Rainbow Dash yelled.
"Huh!?", Applejack jumped looking around to find the voice.
Rainbow Dash jumped from her cloud and landed on her hooves in front of Applejack who stopped and frowned at the pegasus pony that blocked her path, "Applejack what's going on?", Rainbow dasb asked firmly concern in her worry in her eyes and concern in her voice.
Applejack shook her head and tried to go around Rainbow Dash who moved back in front of her. Applejack went from upset to frustrated in that instant pushing Rainbow Dash out of the way, "move outa mah way..."
Rainbow Dash huffed at the western pony's action but continued moving to the 'get together' that Twilight Sparkle had set up.
The two ponies arrived at Twilight's house which was decorated in the classic Pinkie Pie style. Streamers dangled from the branches in an assortment of colors, pink, blue, green, purple, and various other colors. Balloons floated from the door frame and random branches, in colors the same as the streamers. They opened the door to see more decorations inside. Streamers hanged from the ceiling and walls, balloons floated from the tables and chairs and the floor was littered with confetti.
"Wow, Pinkie Pie, you really went all out on this one", Rainbow Dash said floating inside looking at the many decorations.
"You like it!?", Pinkie bounced over to Rainbow Dash who had landed next to the table full of various cakes and pastries, "I decorated it myself!"
"I kind of gathered that", Rainbow said still looking around at the decorations.
"Oh right!", Pinkie Pie giggled and bounced off, "enjoy the party!"
"I will", Rainbow Dash smiled watching the excited party pony bounce away.
At this time Applejack slumped her way into Twilight's house plopping next to the small round table with gifts stacked up on it and a banner that read, 'Happy Birthday Twilight.'. She looked up at the table and noticed one particular gift, a medium sized box wrapped in light blue wrapping paper, with red ribbon tied around it in a bow that curled at the ends. On it was a small light blue tag attached to the bow that read: To: Twilight, From: Applejack.
She sighed and looked down at the floor a tear building up in her eye. She held the tear from falling at the risk of being asked questions. The last thing she wanted was attention, especially now.
"Hey, Applejack", Twilight stood in front of her friend, "are you ok?"
"Yeah ah'm fine", Applejack said keeping her voice from trembling.
"Are you sure? Because you look like something's wrong", Twilight leaned in to look at Applejack.
"Ah don't wanna talk about it", Applejack sighed turning away from Twilight.
"Are you sure because i can--"
"Ah said no!", Applejack yelled standing up, "just...leave me alone!", she pushed past Twilight and stomped upstairs still fighting her tears.
Everypony looked at her in shock as she stomped up the stairs, into Twilight's room and slammed the door shut. They looked at each other and shrugged, "what did you say?", Spike asked Twilight walking over to her.
"Nothing...I mean I just asked what was wrong and she yelled at me", Twilight answered still surprised at the way Applejack acted, "she's never yelled at me like that before"
"I'll go talk to her", Rainbow Dash volunteered, "maybe she'll tell me what's bothering her", she floated up to the room and knocked with her hoof, "hey Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, can I come in?"
The door opened with Applejack standing at it tears streaming from her eyes. She sniffled as Rainbow Dash walked in and closed the door.
"Applejack...", Rainbow started with a look of concern and worry in her voice, "what's wrong?"
The orange pony sat down and tried to hold in her crying, "Ah...", she gasped, "ah can't stop it...ah can't stop the weeds from eatin' tha crops", she finally broke down, "ah tried...ah really did!"
"That's ok", Rainbow Dash tried to comfort Applejack.
"No it's not!", Applejack yelled, "ah'm worthless!", her tears poured down her cheeks, "ah...ah..."
"Applejack...", Rainbow Dash put her wing around Applejack, "you're not worthless...never...you're strong, and, brave, and honest...you're not worthless."
"But ah couldn't stop the weeds, ah couldn't keep 'em from killin the--"
Rainbow Dash put her hoof over the crying pony's mouth, "it's ok Applejack...it's ok."
Applejack began crying again as Rainbow Dash held her.
"You're not worthless", Rainbow Dash said pulling her friend closer, "you're worth something to me."
As Applejack lay under Rainbow Dash’s wing. she couldn’t help but think of her friends’ reactions, what would they think of me?, she asked herself, the thought of them thinking less of her if she told them coming to mind, she couldn’t, at least not yet, not now, not until she’s ready. She shook the thoughts from her head and snuggled closer to Rainbow Dash, the only sounds she heard, or at least cared about, were the sounds of their breathing and Rainbow Dash’s steady heartbeat.
Applejack pressed her ears to Rainbow Dash’s body, her heartbeats wer so beautiful, so soothing, so captivating, all she wanted to do was listen, drown out the outside world, this was her paradise this was where she belonged.
“Applejack”, Rainbow Dash’s voice interrupted the the soft beating, “are you ok?”
Applejack closed her eyes, “ah am now”, she answered softly, “thank you”
Rainbow Dash smiled and tightened wing around her friend, she said nothing, what would she say? Nothing could be said, for now she was just living in the moment, nothing else mattered, nothing else, except for Applejack.
“I wonder if she’s ok”, Twilightl Sparkle said looking up toward her room, “she seemed pretty upset.”
Rarity walked over by Twilight and looked up as well, “I hope so, I hate to see her like this.”
“Me too”, Fluttershy agreed, “it’s not like her to get that way.”
Just then the door opened and Applejack walked out followed by Rainbow Dash. Applejack stopped Rainbow Dash, “could ya...ya know...keep this between us...at least for now?” she asked.
“Yeah”, Rainbow Dash agreed, “I won’t say anything, not until you’re ready.”
“Thank you”, Applejack hugged Rainbow Dash and headed downstairs to meet the other ponies who were now gathered around the stair waiting for them.
“Are you ok, Applejack?”, Twilight asked going to her friend, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I was just worried about you, and well, I’m sorry.”
“Ah’m alright, now”, Applejack answered glancing at Rainbow Dash who returned the glance, “but Ah’m pretty tired...Ah think Ah’ll head on home.”
“Aw...but we didn’t even play any games”, Pinkie Pie complained.
“It is getting kind of late...and I do have a busy day tomorrow”, Twilight looked at the now setting sun, “I’m sorry, Pinkie, maybe we can have an after-birthday party tomorrow.”
“Ok!”, Pinkie agreed excitedly, hopping out the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“Pinkie I--”, Twilight started but Pinkie darted out before she could respond, “--said maybe.”
“Goodnight, Twilight”, Applejack told her while leaving after Pinkie Pie, “happy birthday.”
Applejack finally got back to her home passing the field on the way slowing down slightly to look at the dry plants that were now overtaken by the weeds. She sighed and hung her head continuing on her way.
She opened the door to her house, “Ah’m home”, she called, “and Ah’m goin ta bed.” She trudged up to her room and crawled into bed and layed her head down. She closed her eyes, the thoughts of her day ran through her head as a tear fell.
Applejack woke up to the sun in here eyes, she squinted as she raised her head from her pillow and looked outside. She got out of bed and walked down to the kitchen to find Rainbow Dash sitting at the table with a glass of milk and an empty plate in front of her, “hey Rainbow Dash, what are you doin here?”, she asked sitting down across from her.
"Well", Rainbow Dash started, "I thought today we could hang out, just you and me", she explained pushing the empty plate away.
"Ah...well...", Applejack thought for a moment, "Ah guess we could", she stood up and pulled her hat off of the hat rack and put in on.
"Great let's go", Rainbow Dash stood up and followed her outside.
They walked silently, kicking any stray pebble or rock they crossed, the occasional sigh breaking the silence.
"So what's the real reason?", Rainbow Dash spoke up.
"Huh?", Applejack looked over at her, "the reason for what?"
"The reason why you've been acting this way", Rainbow Dash went on.
"Well Ah told y'all it's them weed--"
"It's not the weeds", Rainbow Dash interrupted and stopped walking, "you'd never act this way over a bunch of weeds...what's the real reason?"
"Ah...Ah can't say", Applejack said starting to trudge on further but was stopped again by Dash.
"Tell me", Rainbow told her, now a little more forceful.
"Ah just can't--"
"Tell me!"
Tears built up in Applejack's eyes, "Ah...Ah miss 'em!"
Rainbow Dash's heart sank at her friend's words, "wh-what? Who?"
Applejack began to sob as her tears fell to the ground, "my Ma and Pa!"
"Applejack..."
"That's why I've been so upset, Ah can't help but think of 'em when Ah look at those...weeds..."
"But why do weeds remind you of your parents?", Rainbow Dash asked stepping closer.
"Because the year that they died we had a weed infestation just like this one", she explained, "and Ma and Pa were the only ones who knew what to do."
Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack almost surprised, "Applejack...I didn't know...why didn't you just tell us that?"
"Because...Ah..." Applejack paused hesitantly, afraid to tell Rainbow Dash the truth.
"Go on" Rainbow Dash said, walking closer to Applejack, her head tilted in curiosity, "just say it."
"Because...Ah didn't want you to worry about me."
"Why not?", Rainbow Dash asked, her concern growing.
"Because...Ah...I love you."
Rainbow Dash could barely stand, her knees weak, her heart beating faster and faster. Her knees shook, as she listened to what Applejack had said, She...loves me? she thought staring at Applejack, "You love me?"
Applejack blushed, "Ah do"
"How long?" Rainbow Dash asked a crack in her voice.
"A while" Applejack replies "Ah just didn't know how to tell you."
Rainbow Dash gulped and took a step toward her friend, her knees still weak, her heart still throbbing, "L-like a...friend?" She knew the answer, she knew what Applejack meant, but part of her didn't want to believe it, part of her wanted it to be just a sisterly love, but the other part, the one she ignored, the one she couldn't listen to, wanted it to be true, that part wanted Applejack to love her, that part loved Applejack, that part was the part she feared. She needs a nudge, she needs something to prove it, something to clear it up, she needs the truth.
"Well..." Applejack started "maybe a bit more than that"
There's the nudge, there's the truth, the words she needed to know, the words she feared but loved, the words she hated but wanted, the words she couldn't handle, the words she couldn't resist.
"How much more?" Rainbow Dash questioned, still in denial.
"How much more? How much more do you need?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I need the truth, just tell me"
"Ah..."
"Tell me the truth...please", Rainbow Dash pushed.
"Ah..."
"Tell me!" Rainbow Dash shouted
"Ah'm in love with you!" Applejack quickly shut her mouth. Had she said too much? Had she gone too far?
Rainbow Dash shook, "In love ?", she wanted to react, but how could she? How could she react to news like that? What words could she say to such a thing? She stood there motionless, except for her legs, which trembled.
"Rainbow Dash?" Applejack stepped closer, looking at her legs. She did it, she went too far, she said the wrong thing at the wrong time, she's lost a friend, "Rainbow Dash, Ah'm sorry" her eyes began to water, a catch formed in her throat, "Ah...Ah thought you'd react a bit better, Ah guess not" she backed up, a tear rolling down her cheek, "Ah'm sorry", she turned and ran, tears pouring from her eyes.
Rainbow Dash looked at Applejack leave, "wait" she whispered. A whisper. A whisper is all she could manage, her voice was gone, her breath was taken from her lungs, her words didn't travel, her words stayed there with her, they were alone, they were nothing.
Applejack sat looking at the dead field, her tears still trickling from her eyes. She gazed at the damaged crops trying to think of what she could have said to calm Rainbow Dash down, she tried to come up with a solution, she wanted her friend back. She looks up at the sky, "Ah screwed up" she says, "Ah screwed everything up, what do Ah do? Ah need you" the tears grew stronger, "why did you leave!?" she stood up and looked into the sky "Why did you go!?" she lay down and shut her eyes, now crying, "Ah need you...you would know what to do...you always knew what to do", her voice grew quiet, she couldn't speak, she didn't want to, the sound of the wind was her only companion, "Ah don't know what to do."
Rainbow Dash walked through town thinking about the events that had just taken place. She looked back, partly hoping to see Applejack, part of her wanted her to be running toward her. She looked ahead and continued walking, "I love you too" she repeated. She wanted to say it, she wanted to speak up, she wanted to let Applejack know how she felt, but all she could manage was a whisper, all she could let out was a breath, just a breath. She sighed and looked down at the ground, her eyes blurred with tears, "ugh" she wiped them, "I'm not going to cry" she said to herself, holding her tears, "i'm not going to cry" she repeated. Her lip trembled, her legs shook, her eyes dripped tears and she fell to her knees, "I love you too" she said again, "I wanted to tell you...but...but I couldn't" she cried into the ground, "I couldn't."
Applejack curled up and looked at the sky, the sun was falling, the sky was darkening. A sigh escaped her as she buried her head into her body. She missed the warmth, the beating of her friend's heart, she wanted that again, she needed it. Her place was in the presence of her friend, she belonged there. Her eyes began to shut as the chill of the night brushed past her, tonight was her night, it's her curse. She had nothing in her mind, she had no thoughts, nothing to soothe her, nothing to say, she lay in darkness.
Rainbow Dash looked at the setting sun and took a breath, she shivered as the chilling wind hit her back. She lay her head on the ground, her comfort wasn't there, the one she needed was gone, her side was empty, her mind full, too full to think, too full to stay asleep, her eyes closed. Her mind wanted to dream, she couldn't, she was afraid of what she would see, she was afraid of what her mind would create from the guilt she felt. she had no thoughts, just silence, no breath, no heartbeat, just silence, "I love you, too", she whispered.
Applejack felt a cool breeze sweep by her as she lay in the darkness, a tear began to form in the corner of her eye, her thoughts growing more and more rapid. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her stomach turned with ever breath, her heart beat was too loud, her breathing was too fast. She lifted her head and looked around, "it's gettin' late" she said silently, "Ah'd better head home" she stood up and stretched before starting to walk home. On her journey she kicked a pebble, a small insignificant pebble, a pebble that seemed out of place, seemed like it didn't belong, "you're lonely too, aren't ya?" she said, still kicking the pebble, "Ah think we have something in common", she sighed and kicked it away, "Ah can't believe Ah'm sympathizin' with a pebble" , she thought, nearing her home.
When she walked in through the door, Big Mac awoke from his sleep in the chair, "huh?" he looked up and rubbed his eyes, "Applejack, why're you home so late?", he asked weakly, still waking up.
"Ah was just out for a while, no reason to worry", she said, not even looking at her brother as she walked up the steps toward her room.
"Ah wasn't worried, Ah was just askin' ", he responds, shrugging and slumping back into the chair.
As soon as she opened her door she trudged into her room and laid down on the bed, it wasn't comfortable, nothing was comfortable for her now, everything felt cold, lifeless, and totally alone, alone like her. She covered herself up and closed her eyes, though she knew she wasn't going to sleep, it wouldn't hurt to try.
"Applejack!" she heard the sharp yell of Granny Smith downstairs, "Applejack, it's time to get up!"
Applejack slumped out of bed and fixed her hat which she had forgotten to take off before going to bed, "Ah'm comin'!" she shouted back and slowly walked downstairs, "good mornin' ", she waved as she sat at the table.
"Mornin'?", Granny smiled, "it's past noon."
"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?", Applejack asked
"We tried, you wouldn't wake up, you just kept sayin' 'Ah'll do it in a minute', next thing ya know, you're wakin' up at noon", Granny explained.
Applejack huffed and slumped down.
"Are you alright?" Granny asked, a worried expression on her face.
"Ah'm fine", Applejack lied.
"You ain't a good liar", Granny's expression grew more worrisome.
Applejack sighed and looked at her old grandmother, "you ever loved somepony so much it hurts, then when you tell them, they do everything but love ya back?"
"Oh, so that's what this is", Granny sighed, "well...maybe the pony you loved ain't ready for that yet, maybe they want to love you, but don't know how."
"How do ya not know how to love? Ya just...love"
"Sometimes it's harder than it seems to love somepony, sometimes they feel like they don't deserve it."
"Everypony deserves love and whoever thinks otherwise...is stupid!" she gets up and stomps out.
"Applejack!", Granny watched her granddaughter leave, "who hurt you?", she asked silently.
Applejack bucked a tree angrily, "stupid!", she bucked it again, and again, tears flowing from her eyes, her vision blurred, she didn't care, she was furious, she was mad at the world, at her feelings, she was mad at love, how could love treat her this way? How could something so passionate and caring be so hurtful and sharp? How could the feeling she trusted, the feeling she embraced, turn on her, betray her like this this? Was it her heart, was her heart not ready, was she one who wasn't ready for love? She felt those feelings, she told herself she loved her, she said she was ready, but was she?
"Applejack", Big Mac said, approaching her, "maybe you should stop, Ah don't want you to get hurt", he reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Get off of me!", she pushed him away, "Ah'm fine!", she kept bucking the tree, her hooves causing the bark to peel.
"C'mon", he reached out again.
"No!" she pushed him away, "Ah said Ah'm fine!", she wiped her face, "just let me do mah job!"
"But you're not fine, look at you, Applejack, you haven't bucked a single Apple", he pointed to the empty bucket.
"It ain't me, it's this blasted tree!", she kept bucking, "it ain't doin' what Ah want it to do!"
"Applejack just stop", he reached out again.
"No!"
"Please, you're not doin' any good by--"
"No!", she repeated.
"Damn it, Applejack, just stop!", he yelled.
She stopped and looked at him, her eyes wide and full of tears, she closed them tightly and looked away from him.
He put his hoof on her shoulder, "what's wrong?"
She tried to hold it in, but couldn't, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "Ah loved her!" she said, now crying, "Ah loved her and she rejected me!"
He hugged her, "who rejected you?"
"My best friend, the one Ah thought loved me back, but Ah was wrong, she doesn't love me like Ah love her, she doesn't feel the same way!", she squeezed tighter.
He hugged her tighter as well, "oh, sis..."
She cried on his shoulder, her tears falling, finally she released her anger, her fury, her sadness, finally it was being washed away. Her embrace loosened and just began sobbing, she needed this, she need to cry, to let go of her emotions, she had to get them out of the way, they were only hurting her, and now she could think, she could see clearly, but she couldn't one thing go, one thing stayed in her mind, one thing was clinging to her tightly and she couldn't shake it, love. Her love for her best friend was still there, it never left, it wasn't washed away, her tears couldn't remove that feeling, that emotion, that heaviness. The feeling she trusted, love.
Rainbow Dash looked up at the sun and sighed, she had stayed the night there, in the cold chill, she didn't care, she couldn't tell. She didn't feel the nip of the cold air on her neck, she didn't notice the wind whipping around her body as she lay, curled up on the ground. She somehow knew how her friend felt, she didn't know if she wanted to, but she did, she felt ever ounce of tension that weighed her down, "Applejack", she whispered, here voice full of regret, "what have I done?", she lays her head down and sighs.
Where did she go wrong? She wasn't ready. but why? Why didn't she want to? Why didn't she say it then? She could have said, "I love you too" right then. But she didn't, she couldn't. She was stuck, she was surprised. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", she says to herself and closes her eyes. She has to do something, she has to make it right, she has to fix this. "I love you", she says and gets up before starting to run, she could fly but her heart didn't want to, she wanted to run, she wanted to make this count.
She ran through the woods, pushing past branches and knocking back leaves. The field was a blur, just a blur of grey and brown past her, how could she notice? The dirt kicked up under her hooves as she ran, pushing herself faster and faster, her muscles tightening from the speed she was picking up.
She reached the farm, finally, the place she could find her friend, the place she could find her love. "Applejack!", she called out, running around the farm, "Applejack!", she stopped when she saw Apple Bloom standing in front of her.
"You've got some nerve showin' up here", she says, tapping her hooves scoldingly.
"Apple Bloom, where's Applejack?"
"Why do you want to know? So you can break her heart again?"
"How did you--"
"Ah read her dia...Ah mean, Ah heard her talkin' about it", she stared at Rainbow Dash.
"Please, Apple Bloom", Rainbow Dash begged. She begged? She never begs, she always demands, she loves enough to beg for her friend, she loves her enough to plead for her.
Apple Bloom thinks, "fine, she's in the orchard", she points to the orchard.
"Thank you", Rainbow runs toward the orchard and begins searching, "Applejack!", she calls once more, "I need to talk to you, please!" She stops and looks around, "Applejack!"
She hears it, she hears the sound that broke her heart, the sound that she never wanted to hear. She heard the crying of Applejack. Her heart skipped a beat. She's crying, because of her, because she didn't say it when she should have, she didn't tell her what she felt. She walked toward the sound and saw her friend crying into Big Mac's shoulder. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know how to approach her, the words she thought of disappeared from her mind. She couldn't move, she only looked, she only saw her friend.
Big Mac looked up at her and his frown deepened, and his eyes filled with disappointment. Applejack saw his reaction and turned to look. She saw her, she finally saw her, the one who caused her pain, the one who broke her heart into pieces, she saw and and let go of Big Mac.
Rainbow Dash smiled and starting walking toward Applejack, but her smile soon faded when she saw Applejack's expression. The look of anger, sadness, heartbreak, fear, all at once. All in one face, all in one heart, "Applejack, I'm sorr--"
"Save it", Applejack said and stepped away from Rainbow Dash
"Applejack, I just came to say that--"
"Ya know what ya put me through?", Applejack asked, "ya know how much Ah've been hurtin'?"
Rainbow Dash couldn't speak, her voice could't escape, "I--"
"No! Ah don't wanna hear it! Ya broke mah heart and...Ah don't know if I can forgive you"
"Applejack...", Rainbow Dash said surprised.
Applejack looked away and started walking toward home.
"Ah think you'd best get goin', she ain't takin' visitors", Big Mac told Rainbow Dash and followed Applejack.
"I love you...", her voice didn't reach, Applejack didn't hear her. She knew she couldn't tell her now, not after this, she knew what had to be done, but couldn't do it, her dry throat and pulsing heart wouldn't let her move. She stood there motionless, her mind full of regret and anger, not toward Applejack, but toward herself. She hated that she couldn't tell her best friend she loved her too, she hated that she didn't. She couldn't stand the pain, she fell to her knees and began to cry. "I love you...", she said through the sobs and gasps, "I love you..." she repeated it over and over, knowing it was going unheard, she couldn't bear the pain, she stayed there alone, this is where she thought she had to be.
"You what?", she heard a familiar voice.
"Huh?", Rainbow Dash looked up at who was there her vision blurred through the tears.
It was Applejack, she had returned to see Rainbow Dash on the ground, "you what?"
"I love you", Rainbow Dash repeated, still sobbing.
"You love me?", Applejack asked, her voice shaking a bit.
"Yes, I didn't realize it until you left, but, I...I do, I love you."
Applejack smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek, "Ah love you, too", she knelt down to Rainbow Dash and hugged her.
"I'm so sorry, Applejack, it was just so sudden, I panicked, I didn't know what to do, I--"
"Sshh", Applejack pressed her hoof to her Rainbow's lips, "Ah understand...Ah over reacted too, Ah was selfish, Ah couldn't handle being without you."
"So, you forgive me?"
"Of course Ah do", she smiles at her friend.
Rainbow Dash smiles and hugs Applejack. They hold their arms around each other, feeling the warm embrace once more, they were where they belonged, and they couldn't be happier.
-The End