The Diamond mine *Very Unfinished*
by Cyanide_overdose
First published
This is a idea i had that I wanted to make into a full story,
Down in the diamond mine no one gets out no one will see Equestria again. As rarity slid a cupcake underneath the iron door Pinkie gasped as she was very hungry after working down in the mine for at least 4 hours when pinkie extended her hoof underneath the door rarity shut the door on her hoof and snatched the cupcake out of Pinkies hand and squeezed the door even tighter as Pinkie begins to scream.
Oh Pinkamena Diane pie this could have been your life down in a mine but you chose to take a different path but yet still you end up at the bottom of a mine how does that make you feel?, a tear starts to well in Pinkies eye as she wrenches her arm out of the door, leaving it grazed. Rarity stuffs the cupcake into hear mouth and makes a loud gulping sound as she asks the slaves how many gems have you collected COME HERE THEN! As twilight dumps a pile of gems on the floor and tells Rarity that she was able to replicate her spell to divine for diamonds.
Rarity opened the iron door and grabbed Twilight by the mane and smashes her against the jagged rocks and then between the iron bars and starts twisting her horn let’s see how you like it Star student, as Twilights horn began to crack as she started to scream out in agony after about three minutes of blood curdling screams Rarity grabs a pickaxe and smashes her horn into her hoof Twilight now bleeding and convulsing as the blood trickled down her mane. The horn now driven through her leg, Twilightt now hung up above the bars as the colour began to drain from her face
This is not the start of the story this would happen near the middle of the story.
This is a Very early draft.
Yes I know that punctuation is not correct as I said this is a draft I wrote in about twenty minutes .
I am only 13 but I am open to any type of criticism but please no “This is crap” Please give constructive criticism.
Down in the diamond mine no one gets out no one will see Equestria again. As rarity slid a cupcake underneath the iron door Pinkie gasped as she was very hungry after working down in the mine for at least 4 hours when pinkie extended her hoof underneath the door rarity shut the door on her hoof and snatched the cupcake out of Pinkies hand and squeezed the door even tighter as Pinkie begins to scream.
Oh Pinkamena Diane pie this could have been your life down in a mine but you chose to take a different path but yet still you end up at the bottom of a mine how does that make you feel?, a tear starts to well in Pinkies eye as she wrenches her arm out of the door, leaving it grazed. Rarity stuffs the cupcake into hear mouth and makes a loud gulping sound as she asks the slaves how many gems have you collected COME HERE THEN! As twilight dumps a pile of gems on the floor and tells Rarity that she was able to replicate her spell to divine for diamonds.
Rarity opened the iron door and grabbed Twilight by the mane and smashes her against the jagged rocks and then between the iron bars and starts twisting her horn let’s see how you like it Star student, as Twilights horn began to crack as she started to scream out in agony after about three minutes of blood curdling screams Rarity grabs a pickaxe and smashes her horn into her hoof Twilight now bleeding and convulsing as the blood trickled down her mane. The horn now driven through her leg, Twilightt now hung up above the bars as the colour began to drain from her face
This is not the start of the story this would happen near the middle of the story.
This is a Very early draft.
Yes I know that punctuation is not correct as I said this is a draft I wrote in about twenty minutes .
I am only 13 but I am open to any type of criticism but please no “This is crap” Please give constructive criticism.