When The One You Love is Lost
I felt the flecks of water spatter all along my purple coat, splashing lightly into my eyes, falling down on to the tiled floor. I was in the shower - alone, just as always. Depressed, just as always. Crying, as usual. I pressed my body up onto the cool wall, letting the warm steam rise up around me. Another tear fell and joined the drops of water already on the ground. They looked no different, but really when it came to meaning they were worlds apart. A soft sob escaped my mouth and I pressed a hoof to my face, bloodshot eyes on the door. The last thing I needed was Spike coming in to investigate. So instead of just wandering through the maze of sadness - the one I knew I was perpetually stuck in, ground in to - I stood back up, wringing my hair out just as I turned the water off. At least the water was one thing in life I had control of...
With a sigh, I swung open the heavy glass door and trudged over to the sink. I looked up at the mirror, straight at my alternate realities' face. The purple skin that sat around my eyes dropped, and the space where my full cheeks had once been was now gaunt and shadowed. My eyes were rimmed red and bloodshot, and my wings drooped so low they nearly touched the floor. I was a mess. And fine with it.
Okay, maybe that needs some rephrasing. I am not fine. I would never be fine. But I used to be. Sweet Celestia, I used to be fantastic. In control. Nothing in my way. And in love, too. In love with a quiet, beautiful, spectacular mare known widely as the Element of Kindness. Fluttershy. Our relationship had been beyond stable - we were a pair, a being, one soul put together of two. I was in love, and she seemed to be, too. But now I've been taught the right things. That there are forces on this distasteful world that can overpower even the deepest of love.
I pulled out my blow dryer and quickly blew out my mane, not even bothering with the tail. Sauntering out of the warm bathroom, I turned off the lights and whirled around to face a certain baby dragon I had expected to be sleeping by now. His eyes were round - curious? Concerned? Had he heard my quiet crying? Shaking my head at him, I walked down to my room. I wasn't up for an interrogation. Not tonight. Nor would I be willing to put hour upon hour into studying as I once had, in the past, when everything was... normal. Instead I found my room, blew out the candles, and piled the massive golden comforter above my body. I was shivering, contrary to the many layers of blankets atop of me. I knew Spike must be listening but I really didn't care at that point. I heaved and shuddered and let out strangled sobs, my body curving in to a ball. They wouldn't stop coming - the endless tsunami of tears and feelings and regrets wouldn't stop. After hours, or so it seemed, when my crying had died down slightly, I head a very faint knock at my door. So quiet, in fact, that if it weren't for the fact that the door opened immediately after, I wouldn't have even noticed.
Not bothering to sit up, I could feel Spike hop up on my wide bed. The one that seemed so perpetually empty. He came to lie beside me, to face me, and took my hooves in his claws.
"Uh... Twilight... I miss her too. I get it. Just... don't be sad, okay? Please, Twilight. Don't be sad if you know that you can do something about this." I was surprised at the sheer maturity he was showing. His words meant something, whereas in the past he might have just spit out his feelings in a big blob. Not this time. Not for me.
I didn't say anything, and he either gave up or figured I was asleep, because he left soon after. Closing the door softly behind him I realized something. Spike was right. I could go visit Fluttershy any time I wanted to. I didn't let the grin I knew was there spread across my face, but I did imagine what Spike would say once I announced I was going to visit.
I told you so. I let the grin slide across my face anyway.
~----~
"Spike? I want to talk to you about last night." I knew the young drake had already awoken - I could hear him munching on rubies in the kitchen. So I was doubly surprised when he came sauntering in without a complaint.
"Yes, Twilight?" Again, his growing maturity left my heart swelling with pride.
"Well, I remember what you said as I was falling asleep last night... that I could do something. That I could visit her if I want to. So... thank you. And I'm leaving. Today." A wide grin spread over Spike's mouth and he opened it to speak. "Don't you dare!" I yelled shrilly, advancing on Spike. "Don't say 'I told you so!' Because I know I've been stupid, and I never wanted you to see my like that, and -" Spike cut me off, still grinning.
"Twi, stop that. I wasn't going to say I told you so, and you shouldn't be sorry. Gosh, Twilight, I'd be beyond in pieces if I ever lost you!" He paused slightly, thinking through his tangle of words, then spoke again. "Twi, I know how much you loved her - and I know you still do. I'm always here for you..." I zoned out right about then. What had happened to my little Spike?
Looking him up and down, he still looked the same. But his heart and mind were somewhere nicer... somewhere I could never fathom him being. At long last the little dragon closed his mouth and looked expectantly at me.
"So? When are you leaving?" I smiled a bit, and pulled the dragon into a small embrace.
"Right now." My horn glowed purple, and I was gone with a flash, leaving Spike to his - suddenly - mature thoughts.
~----~
About a second before teleporting I realized I had no clue where Fluttershy had moved to... so in that small instant I changed my destination from Fluttershy to Rarity's boutique. Surely the gossip queen could have some idea? I came to a dizzying land outside of Rarity's shop, and a small bell rung as I pushed the door open.
"Hello, darling, welcome to - oh, Twilight, dear, how are you?" The white unicorn pranced over and put a hoof around my shoulder, inviting me in. "Whatever could you be needing? A new dress? Outfit? Shoes? Girl talk?" She added, waggling her eyebrows at me. With a smile that Rarity hadn't seen in ages, I cut right to the chase.
"No, no, I'm alright. I... well, I'm going to go visit Fluttershy today." Unexpectedly my voice caught in my throat as I said her name. Immediately Rarity cooed sympathetically and brought me to the back of her store.
"Darling, darling, please, don't cry!" She wrapped her hooves around me, but I pulled back. Snorting, I continued talking as if she hadn't overreacted.
"I'm going to visit Fluttershy today... but I have no idea where she lives. I thought you might have an idea as to where she ran off to. Do you?" I looked inquisitively at the white unicorn, who preceded to tap her chin with her pristine hoof. All of a sudden her eyes widened and she looked at me excitedly.
"Why, by chance, I do! I heard one rumour," Just as expected. I thought. "That the little Pegasus took up a cottage in Mareland, by the bay. It must be a beautiful sight right now, plenty of animals, the ocean and the sun, it being summer and all..." Rarity continued chattering away, but I was now focused on picturing the right scene. If I got any of the details right there was a fair chance that the teleportation spell would work.
"Alright, thanks Rarity." Without another word, my horn glowed purple once more, and I was gone with a flash, leaving Rarity to babble to herself about Fluttershy's new location.
~---~
As soon as the sound of waves crashing on sand filled my ears I let out a massive sigh of relief. It had worked. I opened my eyes, scared that I had ended up in the wrong place, that something had gone wrong - but everything looked right. Nice, even. A small wooden cottage sat on stilts ahead of me, it's back to a rocky cliff and it's face towards the sea. It was quite beautiful, actually. Sheets hanging on a clothes line outside whipped in the wind, and the ocean bathed the air in salt. Beautiful... I thought.
Though the beauty was not the reason I couldn't move my hooves. It was practically everything else. It had been four years since she moved... the flashback hit me in the chest like a hammer and anvil.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
"Fluttershy? Are you in there?" Twilight's voice echoed through the small cottage that lay on the outskirts of Everfree. All was quiet until the eager purple alicorn tried again.
Knock.
Knock.
Kn-
The door was yanked open from the inside and Twilight's hoof fell down on the wooden porch. Her eyes would have brightened at the lovely Pegasus before her - a grin would have been slapped on her face and she would have encased the Pegasus with love. But the Pegasus that stood on the other side of the door wasn't anything to smile about.
Bloodshot, gaunt, and tired, Fluttershy widened her eyes at Twilight's sudden appearance.
"Oh... uh, hi, Twily... I wasn't expecting you so... uh... early... I'm... we need to... um... talk...." Her voice was so tiny and frightened Twilight had barely heard it. Yet she had. And that was enough. Making a move to come inside, Fluttershy blocked her path. "Quickly..." She added.
"What's wrong, Shy? Are you alright?" The concern in Twilight's voice caused Fluttershy to wince.
"Twilight... I.... I'm moving. I'm going.... away. People keep.... bothering me and... um.... it's scary. And my animals are scared, and I... I don't like all this.... publicity." With a shaking hoof Fluttershy pulled out a magazine with her and Twilight walking together on the cover. While Fluttershy found the picture space-invading, it made would have made Twilight smile. But, of course, she didn't.
"Shy, what... are you saying? Are... you leaving me?" Twilight's voice cracked and she stepped back. Fluttershy looked beyond uncomfortable - she looked to be in pain.
"Uh.... yes?" With the pained whisper Fluttershy shut the door in the alicorn's face.
I made my way through the hot sand as it blew up at my face. Only a few more steps until I reach the porch... the door... I did my best to avoid looking in the window. Soon enough I was at the wooden door. Raising a shaking violet hoof, I let go of the past. I looked towards the future... the waves, the ocean, our future...
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
Seconds after the third knock the door was pulled open.
"Hello?"
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed this! Just a quick romantic one shot.... the story was going to go someplace else entirely in the beginning, but I changed my mind. I haven't written romance in a while. ^_^
