Radio Baltimareby a guy with many hatsChaptersConnectionsContractsFridayDrunkPancakesMeetingsTo Build A Skirt From Scratch...TAKCLEANConnectionsI sat quietly in back of the recording booth, watching as everyone got ready to go live. "Arroyo get that cable plugged in!" my boss shouted from across the room. "One second! Wait, wait...wait.... Got it!" I plugged the cable in and watched as the levels started to rise. The technician watched me as I snuck around behind the booth. "Good work, and we're live in...three...two...one, go." Wayne quickly read his intro "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, welcome to the show. Today we'll be, covering the recent wonderbolts tournament, conducting an interview with the mayor of Baltimare, discussing the recent influx of Russian immigrants, and discussing the recent proposal to found a new town in the desert south of Los Pegasus. But first, a word from out sponsors." A loud ding set Wayne free. "Clear." "Fucking shit, ass, fuck!" Wayne had a small rage session. "Damn...been holding that in since we started." I slowly backed towards the door. Immediately hit by the door as the produced trotted in. "Hey I need somebody to head to Manehatten, who's free!?" she swung her head around the room, finding everyone working, aside from me. "Hey you, you're not doing anything important right?" I let out a rough cough. "Well I-" "Perfect, I need you to meet someone in Manehatten. Normally I'd send a someone who knows what there doing, but you're just picking someone up. That...and I like your mustache." she poked my stomach with a hoof. I took a step back, they way she spoke always through my off, so fast paced it was hard to follow her train of thought. "Um thanks? So what am I doing?" She bopped herself with her hoof. "Head to Manehatten, find a pony named Coco Pommel and Pressed Suit, they agreed to come on the show and talk about fashion or something." I felt like falling over. "Can't they-" "Eh- quiet you. We're professionals and I wanted them escorted straight here! Hmm...get ready, I'll meet you at the front doors with the plans." our producer ran out of the room. Everyone, pony and human, watched her leave. "What a loon." one of the pony techs mumbled as he checked the levels. I hurried out of the already cramped room and to the bathroom. I've been working here for months and they still treat me like a no name chump. I stared up at the mirror. "Oh...I do have a mustache.... I need to freaking shave." I pushed off the counter and hurried to the break room. I nabbed a few doughnuts and hurried to the front doors. The producer was trotting in place at the door. "Hey Danny, here take this and go." she flew over with a single flap of her wings, forcing a few papers into my grip and flying off. "My name's not...alright." I looked at the papers the mare had shoved into my hands. A train pass with the studio's logo, two train tickets, a meeting place, and some names. The exact same names she had told me. Did she think I wasn't listening? This place moved so fast, faster then LA ever did. I walked out of the studio and started off towards my house. A quick change into something more formal was in order. I walked through the streets, ponies and dressed up in beach clothes as I headed home. A small shared house on the edge of the beach was serving me well. I found the house, running up the steps and to my half of the house. The place still felt empty, but I guess that was fine. I never spent much time in here anyways. I pulled a pair of slacks and a collared shirt out, quickly replacing my jeans and tee. Once I was redressed I headed outside, almost immediately finding it too hot and pulling my sleeve up. I ran through town, bumping into beach bound people as I went towards the station. I clawed my way to the platform as they were boarding. I hurried in and spent the next twenty minuets standing in a crowded car as we headed into Manehatten. I stepped off the platform and was immediately swept up in the tide of ponies and people. I fought the tide, eventually getting to open ground and collecting myself. "Son...of a bitch...this is ridiculous." I caught my breath, trying to slow down. I looked at the address on the paper and fought my way through the crowds and towards the right direction. I felt like I was drowning as I clawed my way out of the crowd, tripping and falling into the door of the meeting place. Ponies bunched up around me as I tried to get to my feet. I pushed into the building. The atmosphere immediately changing, becoming less frantic and more welcoming as the smell of warm coffee filled the air. The hellstorm of the cities melted away as I looked around the room. The description on Suit was rather vague, dark grey. The description of the mare was much more helpful, bright light blue mane. I spotted her in seconds. Walking over and gather a stiff look from the stallion with her. "Can I help you?" I put my hand on the nearest chair to steady myself. "I'm from, Baltimare...supposed-" "Finally!" the stallion shot upright. "Coco get ready." The stallion ignored me entirely, walking out and into the blur. The mare paused and looked me over. "Are you alright?" My breathing was extremely heavy as I leaned into the chair. "It's been...kinda hectic...." I gestured for her to follow me as I drudged out of the shop, thrown back into the blur of Manehatten. I spotted the stallion and ran after him, almost immediately thrown back into a train, this time in a small box with the others. I leaned back into the seat as I tried to sort out the past hour, burned away in seconds, leaving behind a dim blur in its wake. "Dear Celestia boy, you look dusted." I nodded weakly at the stallion. "Yeah...like I told her...hectic." I pointed at the mare, quickly letting my hand fall to my side. The stallion nodded. "Well we're on our way, free tickets and all. So about the interview." "I'm not in charge of that, they just sent me to pick you two up." I explained, much to the dismay of the stallion. "Unbelievable. I tell them to send me someone important and they send an intern." I ignored him, sitting back in the chair and taking a short nap. My nap was fleeting, as the train pulled in I was forced out and into the swirling infinite of Baltimare. I lead them to the studio before collapsing and sitting with my back propped up against the wall of the producers office. "Just five minutes, five god damn fucking minutes!" I tried to collect my thoughts. I had just went from Baltimare to Manehatten, Manehatten to Balitmare, things couldn't get any crazier. The producer popped out of her office, nearly slamming her door into my head. "Oh Jim, there you are. Hey listen I kinda need you to do something for me. Nothing big, but...Pressed and Coco need a place to stay for the night, and I'm not about to pay for a hotel...sooo...yeah...you live in a house right?" I stared at her in awe. "Good, then they can stay with you until tomorrow." I was stunned, unable to argue through my sheer dumbfound mind. I had just gone nearly fifty miles back and forth in an hour, dragged with ponies back with me, nearly been stomped by a herd of ponies, and she still had the audacity to ask me to do more. Worse still, I couldn't refute it. I've been working here for a month and they still treat me like a damn intern, threatening to fire me if I don't do what they ask. I stood up, the ponies in question following me slowly as I walked down the stairs and towards the front door. "So...Jim...where will we-" I snapped around, cutting the stallion off. "My name's not Jim. Now I'm gonna go home, have a smoke, and go the fuck to sleep. If you're coming then keep up, if not, find a place to sleep else where!" with that I stomped off towards my house. I could hear the two trotting behind me as I made my way down that familiar path back home. I ignored them and hurried towards my house, throwing the door open and leaving it ajar. I found an old pack of cigarettes and ran back to the proach, bumping into the prim stallion and the blue maned mare. "You can sleep on the couch or something...just don't bug me." I pushed out of my house and sat on the steps. The days worries started to subside as I took the first drag of the day. I let it out, sending a large cloud of smoke past my head. "Fuck...everything...." I mumbled to myself as I stifled a cough. Time felt like it was slowing down as I watched the sky turn a deep amber. Ponies down by the beach started packing up and leaving, pedestrians got fewer and fewer. I enjoyed the empty sight of the beach as I burned through a few of the carcinogenic sticks. "Hey...." A soft voice pulled my back into reality. The blue maned mare had taken a seat next to me. "You mind if I...." she pointed her hoof at the pack in my hand. I shrugged, tilting a cigarette out of the pack. She quickly took it in her mouth. I grabbed her head and lit her's with my own. She took a deep breath, exhaling the grey smoke through her nose. "Thanks...." "Yep. Shit...has...been...crazy." I talked slowly, in between stretching out and taking deep drags. "So you're names Coco or something right?" She nodded, sucking in and taking another drag. She blew it out, letting the stream travel in a stright line away from her lips. "Yep...and you're not Jim, right?" I gave a single halfhearted laugh. "Three months and they still never bothered to learn my name. Then again I don't think they care." I stopped the cigarette under my heel and tossed the butt down the steps. "You coming inside?" She looked back at me. "Oh, sure. I almost forgot why I came out here...I was supposed to tell you-" I figured out what she was gonna say as I tried my bedroom door. "The suit guy's in there isn't he?" She smiled cheekily and walked past. "Sorry." I kicked the door at the base. "It's not your fault...and you'll sleep on the couch..." I let out a long sigh. "Fine...whatever...I'll sleep on the floor or something." Coco followed me as I cleared a spot on the floor with my foot, kicking over a bunch of crap as I did. "Well...it looks like a big couch...I mean, I don't take up that much space." I ignored her and tore a pillow down and onto the floor. "It's fine...I've done it before." She stared at me for a while, eventually jumping up on the couch and hanging her forelegs off the edge. "That doesn't look nice." she mumbled aloud as I laid face first into the pillow. I turned my head to meet her. "It's not, but it's better than concrete." I rolled onto my back, watching Coco as she stared at me. "I'm not gonna move...you don't need to watch me." Coco got slightly red, hiding it behind the arm of the couch. "I just feel bad...it's your house, you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor." I took a deep breath and settled in. "Yeah well, you're not the one who stole my bed. Besides, you're a guest. It's one night, I'll be fine." Coco slowly sank down below the arm of the couch. "Well...alright...night." "Night." I rolled back onto my side and relaxed. Things had gone from horrible, to hectic, to calm, to slightly less calm in a matter of hours. This was just about all I could hope for, a relaxing wind down and a few extra hours of sleep. ContractsI felt something wiggled around. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, Coco had crawled down from the couch and had laid her head across my arm.I let out a soft laugh as I realized what had really woken me up. A loud scratching at my front door was becoming painfully apparent. I set the mare back on the couch and went to the front door. I threw it open, a cat I've been feeding walked in. "Toki, morning..." I talked to the cat as I started looking for a can of cat food. Toki snaked between my legs as I set the can of food onto the floor. I finished with him and tried to relax. I pressed my back against the counter and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "You have a cat?" a sweet voice caught me while I was rubbing my eyes. "Uh...kinda, he's not mine but he keeps coming around." I stretched out and rolled my neck. "Sleep well?" Coco looked back the the makeshift bedding on the floor. "Yeah...I mean...yes...." she smiled wide, her face growing only slightly red as she walked over to the cat. She started baby talking to the cat. I left her to her fun and went to check on the last pony in the house. I walked over to my room and found it a bit ransacked. Pressed was nowhere to be seen. I let out a sigh as I got dressed. I picked a decent pair of light grey slacks and a white shirt. I started gathering my things for the day and walked back into the kitchen. "Coco...Coco?" I walked over and picked up Toki. Coco quickly straightened out and nearly slammed into a wall. "Sorry what?" I pointed to the door. "Time to get going. Gotta get to the studio or they'll dock my pay...again." I carried Toki down the steps of my house and tossing him into a bush. "Aww! Don't just throw him like that!" Coco charged down the steps and tired to push me, only managing to make me lose my balance for a moment. "That was so mean." I watched Toki walk out of the bush. "Cats are amazingly resilient to bushes, he's fine." Coco turned her head and watched as Toki walked into the neighboring yard. "See." Coco frowned and sat down. "I still don't like it." I walked past her, pulling her hair clip away as I went back to lock my door. I pocketed the clip and locked my door. After a quick walk down the steps for a final time, I started off with the mare. "Hair clip." I tucked the accessory into her bag. She gave me a conflicted look. "Why'd you take it off?" "Uhhh...you look better without it?" I said, not caring about the possible consequences, my experiences with calling ponies cute or something along those lines earned you one of two things, a friend, or a night in bed. Either that or a solid punch in the face. . "Oh...thank you." well at least it wasn't a punch, or kick. I never gave it much thought. I pressed on and hurried towards the studio. Coco adopted a decent pace, trotting along like the mares I see jogging past everyday. "Hey Coco...you jog?" She look at me with a slight smile. "A little, just for fun though." "I can tell. It's the way you walk, kinda...jaunty? Something like that." She smiled and turned away. The rest of the walk into the studio was quiet. We pushed into the doors as one of my few friends was reading sports. "...Canterlot's finest lost once again to the Appleloosan Reds." "Damn it!" I yelled loudly as I lead Coco up the stairs. "There goes fifty bits." Coco just frowned as I lead her to the producers office. I was about to knock on her door when it flung open, hitting my in the cheek. "Mother-" I crumbled, holding my cheek and trying to stop the pain. "Oh Frank, you're here. Perfect." the producer kept talking like a maniac as I go to my feet. "Wayne copped out on me, I need someone to do the interview while we get ready for the fashion- oh hey you're here too! Awesome.... So anyways, get in the booth." I leaned against the wall as I caught up with her speech. "Wait wait wait- what do you- ow- mean copped out?" "He was getting uppity yesterday so I sent him home, now he's not here!" I shook my head hard and rubbed my cheek. "Do you ever talk to your employees? It might help." The producer shook her carrot colored mane. "Look Bill, I don't have time for your mystical nonsense. Just get in the booth and host the interview. It's all written out, just don't be a complete doofus." she patted her hoof on my leg. "Now you," she turned to Coco. "Let's get you ready with Pressed." she dragged her off down the hall. I stayed in the hall, contemplating what exactly this meant. I was either being trusted with something amazing, or they didn't give a crap, and with her it was impossible to tell the difference. I decided it was best to just find out. I was ready to find a new job if this didn't work out. I hurried to the last floor and met a pony at the door of the booth. "Ethan, great. Here put this on." my old boss, a mare that ran most of the sound in the booth, handed me a large headset. I pulled the headset on and checked the connection. "Chan-" "I got it Wave, I've done it enough times before." I switched it to the proper channels and tested it. "One one, one two." A women popped her head out of the tech booth and gave a thumbs up. Wave gave a determined nod and handed me a piece of paper. "Give that a quick read and get in there, you got this!" I looked the paper over and moved into the booth. I found a seat near the far wall and started reading. This was an interview with an Afghan war vet! They were trusting me to conduct an interview with a veteran, and a non-American veteran at that! My heart started racing as I read the interview. This wasn't just a veteran, this was the second man in Equestria! A voice broke my concentration, making me jump in my chair. "He's coming." I tried to calm down as the door swung open. A brutish looking man with grey hair walked in, quickly taking the seat across from me. "Hello...." he boomed, his voice capable of knocking down a brick wall. "Alright, everything ready? On in three...two...one!" I paused for a horrifying moment before reading the note. "Hello ladies and- gentlemen, mares and stallions. Today we have a very special guest, Sergent Dima Turov." Dima leaned back in the chair. "Hello." I looked back at the paper. "Now Dima, it says here that you've proposed the establishment of a new quarter in Canterlot. One to accommodate the large influx of Russian immigrants. Can I ask why?" Dima leaned back in his chair. "When I hear about this land, I hear of land of peace, land of freedom. I have been through hell my entire life. When I hear the prospect of a land free of the turmoil that has racked my country, I would have been a fool to decline." "I understand that but what you're proposing is a full square mile dedicated to the recent arrivals." Dima leaned forward in his chair. "I ask for only what is necessary. Many from my home come to seek peace. We are not asking to be separated or left alone, we only wish to know that when we arrive that we will be accommodated." Dima adjusted his headset. "I have spoken with the Royals and arranged for many Russian veterans to immigrate, those who have served their countries only to be left to the dogs!" "Your project would cost an in-" "Damn the money! The men who have accepted the invitation have been through too much to worry about money! Many from the wars are still able, willing to work, and tired of the constant disrespect from the youth! I will build the district myself, with my two bare hands if it is required!" My mouth went dry as he spoke. "How many are coming?" Dima let out a long breath. "Over three hundred including families. Many are Chechen war veterans, but all have served Russia in one way or another. We are not asking for charity, we are asking for hospitality." I nodded a few times. "But this is all temporary?" Dima calmly leaned back. "As I have said, we are looking for hospitality. In time we will disperse, find our places, build lives away from one another, but these things take time. We simply need a starting point, that is what I ask for, that is what we need." "Thank you Sergent Turov. Any parting words?" Dima shook his head. "Even if our proposal is denied, we will find a way." I swallowed hard. "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, this has been Sergent Dima Turov. Stay tuned." A loud bell rang out. "Clear!" I let out a long breath as I stood up. I feel woozy as I walked towards the door. "Eh...where are you going?" Dima grabbed my shoulder. He spun me around and stuck his hand out, nearly punching me in the gut. "I thank you for play...how you say, devil's advocate?" I met his hand, his grip nearly breaking my fingers as he gave a single shake. "Sure...any time." "Greg!" the producer charged in. "I swear I give you one thing to do and you do it! Good job." her tone was nearly schizophrenic, going from angry to happy in moments. "I mean, it wasn't great. You don't want to say, it says here, but you did good for your first time." I stared angrily at her. "My name...is not...Greg." "Really!? You should have said something, Phil." I shook my head. "Terry?" again no, "James? Okay then fine, you tell me!" I grabbed the producer and started shaking her. "My name's Ethan, Ethan M. Arroyo! It's very simple." "Who there buddy, calm down. Fine, Ethan Ethan Ethan. There, you're Ethan now." she wiggled out of my grip. "Now come with me, we need to draw up a contract." She dragged me out of the booth as Coco and Pressed were getting seated. Something felt wrong, why were they the only two going in there? I found myself sat across from the producer as she slid a piece of paper to me. "Just sign there, there, and there." she jabbed her hoof on the paper. "Good...good." she tore the paper away from me. "Starting, thirty thousand bits a year okay? Naw you did good...and I like your mustache. Forty thousand." I rubbed my upper lip. I think my poor shaving habits just earned me an extra ten grand a year. The producer smiled wide. "Great, now on to other business. Be at Copperhead's at nine on Friday. Wear something nice." "Wait what-" "My name's Marigold and I'm looking forward to the date.Now get out...." her voice deadpanned at the end. I just sat there stunned. Marigold jumped off her chair and started pushing, not just me, but the entire chair I was sitting in into the hall. "Remember, Copperhead's at nine on Friday. Thanks...byeeee...." she slowly wiggled her way back into her office. I just leaned back in the chair and tried to collect myself. "I...what? I don't...how did she do that?" I stood up and started walking to the break room. "How the fuck did she do that?" I was caught half way there. Marigold's voice snapping me back to her strange little world. "By the way, that mare from before is gonna need a place to stay again, that okay with you? Great, thanks Paul." I broke, something in my brain shattered. I walked slowly towards her office. I walked in, found a crystal paperweight, opened the nearest window, and chucked it into the street. I turned to Marigold, her face one of utter confusion. "My name...is...Ethan." "Fine geez, sorry Leo-" I leaned in and stared her down. "Whoa...okay...okay...Ethan.... Save it for the bedroom." If ever a time the sound of a guitar string breaking was appropriate it was now. "I'm not going on a date with you, we're never going to have sex, you're insane." She started laughing. "Yes you are, probably not, and yes I am. Just show up okay I promise you it'll be worth it." "Why, why should I trust someone that can't even learn my name!?" Marigold went behind her desk, slamming the tabletop and staring at me. "Ethan, I like your mustache. Now show up, dress well, and get ready for a good night." I contemplated jumping out the window. I tired to make a rebuttal, but anything I could have said would have been immediatly ruined. I walked out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the studio. Three hour work days were the best days. I sat at home watching TV. Some terrible pony version of wipe-out. I watched as some overweight mare got knocked into the mud. "Ohhh...she should not be wearing those tights." A knock came from my front door. I left my stupid show and answered it. Coco was standing with a worried look on her face. "She said-" I held the door open. "I know." she watched the floor and stepped inside. "So how was it?" Coco walked in and sat in the middle of the floor. "She said I work there now." "What!?" I jumped upright and ran over. "Seriously!?" She nodded with a worried grimace on her face. "Pressed was mad, but then she said something about bits, and said it was fine. She said. Oh I love your voice, ponies will love you! Then she asked me out...." I realized then and there what she was planning, or at least part of it. I decided to play her little game and feigned ignorance. "Well...you do have the voice for radio." She frowned hard. "But I like sewing...." I thought about it. "There's a fabric store in town. I'll take you some time." She shook her head. "It's not the same...but thanks. It does sound fun...." I shrugged. "Don't worry about it now." I looked over to the TV. "I'm sure things will work out...maybe...probably." I scooped her up and plopped her on carried her into my room. I plopped her down onto the bed and gave her the remote. "Channel seven." She fumbled with the remote but eventually got it turned on. I was immediately exposed to a horribly caddy show where mares and fem stallions argued about dresses. Coco seemed either appalled or rapt, so I simply walked out. I plopped down on the sofa and spent the rest of the night watching stupid shows. FridayI sat waiting in the studio for my new segment. Apparently I was supposed to spend the next hour talking with a few guests. They never gave me a script, or any idea of who I would be talking to. They just told me to sit down and get ready. And for what good it did, I was ready. My foot was beating the short carpet like mad, my hands tensing and untensing along the arm of my chair, and still I forced myself to be ready. I could feel my asshole clench as the door opened, the loud click nearly shooting me through the roof. "Um...is this the right room?" Coco asked, sneaking her hoof around the door and peaking in. "Oh...hi. I guess it is." She walked into the center of the room, tiptoeing slowly and taking stock of the room. "This is nice, very qui--" Marigold pushed the doors open with one swift shove. "Alright, Ben, get ready! Marshmallow, go take a seat!" She yelled, not only screwing up my name, but Coco's as well. "Cody get us miked up--" The intercom buzzed to life, "Marigold...you fired Cody." marigold stopped dead in the center of the room. "Well hire him back! Either way we need microphones, now!" She trotted over, swinging her head left and right. "Neo, go ahead, take a seat closer to Blueberry." I felt my hands curl up into a pair of claws. "Marigold...I swear to god, if you don't get my name right, someone is going to die!" She just scoffed, turning to Coco and pulling her from her seat. "Oh calm down Terry, it's not a big deal. I got you that date didn't I?" I made a strange, angry noise, something between a growl and a scream of rage. "Swear to all the gods, Islam, Christ, Jehovah, I'm going to stab you in the brain with a fork!" Marigold shot her hooves up, letting them go slack at the joint and waving them at me. "Ooooh, mister tough guy, gonna stab a mare with a fork, oooo. You know Vince you're--" "In the brain!" I shouted, leaning forward in my seat, "Work you like a finger puppet after that!" Marigold swished her tail around like mad. "Work me like a finger puppet, eh? Save it for later, we've got a show to do." Her tone was low, sultry, and of so aggravating. I leaned over my seat, looking towards Coco who'd been planted on a couch next to me. "Coco...if I get up, I need you to either get me out of here or knock me out, because if she keeps this up someone is going-out-a-fucking-window!" I hissed, my eyes popping open as I hissed and snarled. "I can't take it anymore!" Coco just nodded, leaning back in her seat. "Um...okay, if it makes you--" A unicorn with a few black earpieces hurried in. Marigold flew in behind him. "Yeah just set up Minty and Tom--" "I'm gonna break your wings!" I shouted, fingernails digging into the seat. "It's not a hard name to remember! If it was Abdula San Jaquelin Shlitter I'd understand, but it's not--" I was cut off as the unicorn snapped a microphone to my collar. "Let it go...just let it go man." Coco snickered softly, "What's a Shlitter?" Her laugh damped my rage, her peaceful tone and appearance doing wonders to keep me from murdering the flamboyant mass of forgetful pony. "Uh...it's like...Swedish or something, I don't know." I leaned back, tugging the microphone and fitting the earpiece into place. "But seriously...you remember my name right?" "Ethan?" Coco asked, tilting her head softly. Even if she was wrong it was a sincerity that I just couldn't get mad at. "It's Ethan, right?" I took a deep breath and leaned back. "You're staying in my house, using my electricity, least you could do is learn it well." Coco sank back into her seat. "Sorry...I just--" "It's a joke. And you've got it memorized better in a day that she does in...three...god damn...months." I churdled, mouthing obsenity at Marigold as she found a seat across from me. "Fucking bitch...it's Ethan...just get it right for once--" "Mark shut up." "Shallow grave!" "I'll shallow your grave!" She shot back, leaning forward, "I'll shallow all over your grave, I'll fucking shallow it so non-deeply that you'll never get buried, now shut up Ethan!" Marigold screamed, her hooves slipping off her chair. "Celestia damn, you bitch so much just cause I can't remember your generic face!" I grabbed the edges of my mustache, pulling so hard I ripped out a few hairs and made the room jump. "Come here!" I ran out of my seat, pushing the unicorn into the wall and grabbing Marigold's goldenbrown forelegs. "Out the window!" I shifted my hands down, holding her belly and waddling over towards the window. "Someone open this fucking thing!" "Do it! I dare you, do it!" Marigold shouted, causing my brain to do a double take. If I threw her, she won, if I didn't, I was a bitch. I found myself caught between two equally horrific options. "You're a pu--" "Shut up!" Coco screamed, causing the unicorn with the microphones to jump upright in a flash. "Sit down, both of you!" I snapped around, pivoting on my heel and tossing Marigold to the ground. She landed sloppily, her hooves barely gripping the carpet. "See I knew you--" Coco glared at us, burning a pinprick hole through Marigold's forehead. "Sit...down." She hissed, finally showing the bite I would expect from someone like her. The bite I had, the bite of an overworked, underpaid, under appreciated person. I took two long steps, lunging into my seat before she could continue to spit venom. "Thank you...." She rubbed her throat as Marigold mumbled and groaned back towards her chair. "...Did I yell? I didn't mean to yell." Coco said into her hoof, "Sorry." I sank into my chair, letting out a deep sigh as things went back to normal. We were set up, the radio was turned off and we were ready. Marigold waved at me and Coco. "So...this is basically a morning show, just relax, have fun and try not to stutter." "How about fuck you?" I asked, covering my mic, "How about get my name right?!" A loud buzzer cut me off, followed by a sharp nasally voice from the intercom. "You're live." Marigold snapped to it, "Hello Baltimare, ladies and gentlecolts, and you other provincials, welcome to the inaugural episode of Radio Baltimare's morning hour." For all my gripes with her, her radio manners were excellent. Her voice was strong, her posture straight even while behind the mic. "We're gonna keep things short today, and just get to introductions. I'm Marigold, your host and the best pony around. With me today are, ...Oma--" "Hi I'm Ethan arroyo, token human I suppose...." I muttered, only half committed to the show. I turned to face Coco, watching as she played with her collar. Eventually I caught her attention, causing her to pop upright. "Oh, and I'm Coco Pommel...." She spoke softly, fidgeting and squirming in her chair. "I make clothes...not really sure why I'm--" Marigold tapped her hooves on the chair. "I brought Coco in all the way from Manehattan, just to have someone to keep us dressed nicely and to be the wonderfully squishy ball of love we need on air." "...I'm not...squishy...." Coco mumbled, grinding her hooves together. I stretched out, "All the way? Manehattan is like...half an hour away, just take the bullet train...." "Ethan shut--" "No, it's too early for your crap!" I leaned forward, nearly spewing bile with my words, but still not crossing the line. "And it's amazing to me how well you remember my name on air! Now I'm important? Not when I was working for you, plugging in cables like mad or getting coffee. No, suddenly I'm important and you're sitting here, without coffee I might add--" I looked up, spotting the ponies in the control booth exploding. Hooves were waving around like mad, a guy in a hat was slamming his palms against the glass, everything was melting down in there. "supposed to act like it's completely normal! You want a morning show, here's your morning show!" I flopped back down, crossing my arms and staring mockingly at the booth. "Yeah...like that!?" I watched the control room, ponies sprinting about and screaming. But beyond the chaos, a single mare was staring at a low screen, hooves pressed hard against her desk. A human leaned over, mouthing something vulgar and shooting his head back. He snapped his head up to me, rolling his hands as the mare scribbled something, and in a flash a sign met the glass. More. I took a deep breath, venting was good, and they were literally asking for more. "Chubby little, how are you chubby!? You're a pegasus, how are you not the leanest flighty little bint alive!?" Marigold scoffed, poking her plump belly. "Ow, I- ow! Tsss," she hissed, cringing and leaning forward. "Aren't you just the meanest things- should I ask about your skinny ass? Bone little weirdo, I mean you're human too! Great representative for your race--" "Bitch, I'm the god damn best! You're the one who can't remember our names! What did you call me, Mark, Joe, that's fucking racist as shit!" I shouted, leaning across Coco and getting a bit riled up. "That's like me calling you Sea-biscuit!" I snapped toward Coco, "Coco, you wanna go get hammered?!" Coco popped upright, looking towards Marigold. "Um...it's a little--" Marigold was smiling wide at the control room, "You can't leave! We got a show you punks!" Her voice was directly opposite of her expression, she was ecstatic, and whatever was going on with our listeners must have been crazy. "Get back here damn it!" I reached over to Coco, "Come on, let's go." I tore her mic of, tossing it to the ground in as loud a fashion as possible. "Come on, I'll buy you a drink!" I turned around, spotting the ponies in the control room huddled around a single screen, a pair of them hugging and screaming at the top of their lungs. I hurried to the door, holding it open as Coco finally caught on and trotted slowly over. "Um...I guess- Whiskey?" She asked, brushing past my leg. I pulled my mic off, holding it near the door and giving it a sharp slam. I waited for a few seconds, smiling down at Coco and getting a warm smile back. "Woo!" A sharp scream came from the control room, a pony running out and slamming themselves against the wall. "We beat Manehattan Post! Buck yeah!" Another mare bolted out of the control room. "Oh gods, ponies loved it! They loved it! Screw you Manehattan, screw you!" The pair of ponies reared up, slamming their hooves together and letting out a mighty clop. I turned to Coco, scooping her up and throwing her over my shoulder. "Oh god that felt good!" I scratched her back, causing her to twitch and stretch as I dug my fingers into her coat. "Come on...got a date, but screw that, let's--" "W-ait- you too?" Coco asked, accidentally popping her muzzle against the back of my head. "...Sorry." "It's good." I turned my hand, getting a better surface area of scratchage. "What's up?" Coco coughed roughly. "...I think your boss set us up...." I stopped dead, "Copperhead's?" Coco let out a short huff. "Copperhead's." I stared out into space. "...Hey, you wanna go get hammered?" "I can't--" I carried Coco down the hall, ponies pouring out of the control room. "I'll pay...hell...make it a double." DrunkI held the door to a small pub open for Coco. "Ladies first." I joked, waiting for Coco to pass. She lowered her head, growing a bit pink before heading past me and into the bar. I snickered as the beige mare strolled past. "You blush like you're thinking something dirty." Coco spun around, walking backwards through the bar. "No, I'm just...colts don't usually open doors for me, and when they do I blush...." She carefully swung herself around a passing griffon. "Am I still?" I smiled, waving my hand across my face. "No, now come on, what you want?" I escorted the short mare over to the counter, helping her up onto a stool. "I'll buy, so what would ya like?" I asked as nicely as I could. "Gotta let a guy buy a pretty girl a drink, rig--" "Scotch, double, no ice." She stated rapidly, ducking her head down afterwards. "...Or something sweet if you feel weird about it." She mumbled her last words, looking down at her hooves dangling off the stool. "Someponies get weird when I tell them what I drink." I coughed softly, "No, I get it. Just wasn't expecting something so heavy." I looked around the pub, spotting a clover sitting above the bar. I noticed the pony managing the place was wearing a bright green beret. "Oh geez...taking the Irish a little too far, but it gives me an idea." I flagged down the bartender, the bustling pub happily noisy. "Oi, Guinness?" I yelled, watching the green hatted colt barge past a few others and over to me. The surly stud leaned against the counter. "No, ain't got it. Got our own, straight from Fetlock." His voice was painfully celtic, his stocky body and gangly hair truly selling it. "For the both of you?" I shook my head. "Uh, you got like.... Baileys?" The stallion cocked an eyebrow. "Ya want the liqueur or the beer?" I tapped my fingers on the oak counter. "Both? Beer for me, liqueur's for the mare." I nudged Coco, causing her to gasp and nearly fall off her seat. "...Jesus Coco." "Sorry!" She yelped, fixing herself back onto the seat. "Sorry." The stallion rolled his eyes. "You can afford this, right?" I grabbed my wallet, "Give me an estima-- oh," I found a few hundred bit coins in my pocket, just hanging free. "I keep thinking these are quarters. Yeah, I got it." I turned to Coco as the Ire pony walked off. "Sorry, it's a nice middle ground between getting fucked up and good flavor. Not that I drink it much...." Coco smiled at me, kicking her back legs softly. "It's fine. A double would have been a bit much anyways." She looked down at the bar, refusing to make eye contact. "So, am I supposed to be moving out here? I kinda just got told I'm working here, and dropped to figure things out on my own." I shrugged. "I have no idea. Marigold is terrible about that kind of stuff. But hey, if you wanted to move out here there's room under my house!" I looked around the pub, it was strangely skewed towards griffons and humans. "I mean, the guy who was living in the apartment under me was about to move out. It's not glamorous, but the landlord is nice and generally doesn't mind if I go all home improvement on the place." Coco took a deep breath. "I don't know. I could commute." She placed her forelegs on the bar, leaning against her hooves. "I guess it would get me farther from Suri, farther from all those...." She turned her head sharply, laying on her cheek and staring at me. "My bosses were terrible. Are, terrible." I let out a long sigh as a pint glass found its way into my hands. "Marigold isn't actually that bad. She's rude and obnoxious sure, but she treats us alright pay wise. Just a little, arbitrary?" I asked myself, unsure of the wording. "I think that's the right word. Either way she's just a little rude, not actually that terrible." I pulled my glass in front of me, gripping it with both hands. "If she could get my fucking name right...I'd be fine...." I growled into my beer, dipping my nose into it before pouring it back. It tasted strong, the flavor burning my tongue ever so slightly. "Whoa...that's, this doesn't taste like beer." I held up the glass, looking into the dark brew. "Taste good, but damn." Coco tapped her hooves together. "Fetlock breweries are kinda famous, if you're a drinker I mean." She rubbed her hooves together, nervously looking up at me from under her brow. "So...she's not bad?" I scratched my ear. "No, just rude. But you said you were a dressmaker?" Coco took a sigh of relief. "I did. I still am. To be perfectly honest I don't know why I'm here, I don't even like the radio that much." I scoffed. "It's work. I was just running drinks and plugging in cords before now. Anyways, I know a few fabric shops, and I picked up an old sewing machine someone was going to throw away, I was going to take the parts out and build something, but if you want it, it's yours." Coco smiled at me, a warm, toothy smile. "Thanks, I'd lo-- ah!" She jumped out of her skin as a heavy glass met the counter in front of her. "Oh...that was a bit rude." I watched the large stallion plod off after unceremoniously dumping her drink before her. "A little. I get the feeling it's expected in here." I looked around the obvious worker's pub. "So, you're from Manehattan?" Coco was half stuck into her glass. "Hmm? Oh, no actually. I was from Ponyville before Manehattan. I just moved their because I thought it would be easier to work." She downed her drink, locking up for a few moments before shivering violently. "Oh- mm, that's new...." I looked around the bar, three pint glasses and two new shorter ones were strewn about. "...Have I been-" I looked down at my own glass, finding it empty. "-this whole time...." Coco was slowly downing another drink. "Warm," she cooed, body shaking as she set the drink down. "Did I tell you about Suri? Suri was...is, whatever, a bitch." I cocked my head. "Whatever a bitch?" Coco steadied herself on the counter. "She was just, worst pony, worst everything. She was crap on a bolt of fabric- no! Crap in a bolt of fabric, then rolled up so it smeared everywhere!" The bartender walked by, dropping off another drink for Coco. I started to reach for it. "I think you--" Coco's hooves beat me to it. "I just wanted to sew! I wanted to make pretty clothes, dresses, shirts, pants! I wanted to make ponies pretty! And she just, she just dumped all over me!" She slammed her drink, nearly tossing the glass to the floor. "All over my face, my work, everything, just, Pfffff! Everywhere!" I made a big X with my arms, sliding a few coins to the edge of the table. "No more," I whispered, already starting to feel a bit black and soggy. "So...dressing, you like humans?" Coco turned to me, her nose bright red. "I...love...humans. They are so good at clothes, they can actually do buttons!" She lifted her hooves, leaning against the counter to keep from falling over. "All these things can do is poke and push, no grab!" I looked down at my hands. "You could change you know. They have potions or spells and--" "No!" Coco shouted, shaking her head hard, her ears slapping against my shoulder as she leaned towards me. "No...I don't want those chest things." She wrapped a hoof around my arm, "Too big, I don't like them!" I felt myself start to get excited, "Yeah...more of an ass man myself." I dug my finger against my collar. "Anyways, we should probably get home. I wasn't paying attention and I think we kinda lost track of time." Coco stayed latched onto my arm. "Not yet." She turned, locking herself around my arm. "You're so warm...." I shook my head, sliding off the stool. "Coco-" "What?" "Coco-" "What!?" "Coco...you're drunk." I stated, clutching my head as the dizziness overtook me. "Oh god...so am I." I held onto Coco, the two of us balancing on each other like a tent. "Do you remember how we got here?" Coco was laughing loudly, "That tasted so good. I love you, person human. E, e something." She buried her face against my shoulder, "Is it safe to nap, I just...a little nap." I watched the crowd snicker and laugh at us. "Uh, maybe?" I looked to the bar. "Hey, you know any cab com--" "Hey Taylor!" A sharp, perky voice sounded off. "You missed our date." "Aw shit...." $()$ My alarm slowly went off, the loud buzz giving me a huge headache. "Oh god, turn it off." I slapped my hand around, eventually hitting the snooze. I laid there, face down on my bed, feeling like a cracked egg on the sidewalk. "I didn't drink enough to feel this bad." I tried to push up, something hard causing my heart to jump. "Uh!?" I yanked the covers up, finding Coco curled up against my ribs. "Oh...huh, I'm...." I leaned against my right arm, looking at Coco sitting under my left. "I'm alright with this." "Mmm, so am I." A soft, but still painfully happy voice shattered my hope. "So...took your name," Marigold pressed her chubby self against my back, hooves wrapping around my waist and landing on my groin. "Are you still Ethan?" "Oooooh my god noooooooo--" PancakesI waited at my door, head leant against the hardwood, plates in my hands, scrapes and rashes on my skin. “God…why have you punished me so?” I asked the knocker, my ass catching a cold draft from below. My neighbor looked up from below. “I get why humans don’t wear skirts now.” He snickered in that strange griffon way, very shrill and always on the verge of bursting out into an eagle’s roar. Like he was constantly inhaling as he laughed. I did my best to ignore him, banging my head against the door and waiting for someone to push it open. And before long, Marigold appeared in the doorway, forcing herself upright against the door frame. Her doughy belly and wide hips painfully human when stood on two hooves. “Hi there….” She cooed, her words dripping as they rolled off her tongue. “For me?” I walked past her, ignoring the loud clop as she dropped down to four hooves again. “I brought…food.” My words were broken, my spirit shattered like a broken window pane. “Where’s…Coco?” Marigold wiggled her way between my legs, her tail brushing my undercarriage as she moved. “Sleeping, dear. You really worked us hard last night, but I’m usually pretty, energetic.” She fluttered her eyelashes, sending shivers through my pecs. “Gotta say, she’s got a really tight stomach.” I walked into my kitchen nook, setting the plates down on the counter. “Oh god…what the fuck did I do?” I asked myself, genuinely worried about my mental health. Marigold followed me, rubbing my upper ribs with her cheek. “Two mares big boy,” She bit my skin, trying to get at my nipple. “Two mares, belly to belly, pussy against pussy. You just went mare to mare, like an animal.” She wrapped a hoof around my chest, standing upright and nearly matching my height. She leaned her mouth towards my jaw. “Like an animal.” She licked my jawline, breathing hard past my chin, nearly panting. “And we took it, I took it all, just like the good little bitch I am. Like the good, horny little mare I am.” She bit my neck, licking my skin. She started sucking at it, pulling my tender neck flesh with her lips. She let off with a pop, her hoof tracing up and down my chest. “I left a mark….” I slumped forward, leaning against the counter with my torso and crumbling to my knees. I didn't say a word, I simply collapsed against the counter. I slowly let myself down, laying across the kitchen floor and curling up. Marigold stepped back, watching me as I went into the fetal position. "Hey, Ivan, you alright?" I tucked up as tight as I could. "... Just eat the fucking food!" I screamed, eyes straight ahead at a set of cabinets. "Eat the god damn food and leave me alone!" Marigold laid down next to me. "Ben, there's only one way you're going to get me to be quiet. Either a ball gag and a hard spanking, or you're gonna have to stuff that big sweaty cock in my mouth. Just...jamming that thick meaty dick," she bristled, shaking slightly with a blush across her face, "right down my throat." She lowered her head, hiding behind her thick mane. "Oh Celestia, I want to be your cock sock right now." She rolled onto her back, smiling lewdly. She made a kissing motion at me. "Come on...abuse me, I'm yours, just promise to cum inside and mark me like some dirty slut." My cock was trying to explode out of my towel. "...What the fuck?" I whimpered, staring through Marigold's head. Marigold smiled. "Heat, and you're cute." She rolled onto her belly. "Hey...we're together right, can I tell you a secret?" "Can never be undone!" I screamed, rocking back and forth on the floor. "Never!" "I ship my employees." She whispered, crawling towards me. "I did it back in Prance, in Manehattan, in Canterlot. I've paired off seventy of my workers, you're the third one I've been involved with. Honestly...I think I'll stick around for this one." She smiled at me, wide as could be. "Coco and you'd make a good herd." She wiggled her way towards me. "But let me tell you something, I'm the mare." She stared at me, eyes sharp, "I get what I want, you and her...you're the herd, I'm the bucking shepherd." She hopped upright. "Now we're going to keep working, we're going to let this work out." she stretched her wings. "Now wrap one of these things around yourself, I'm going to eat if off you." I felt a pancake slap my ankle. "... Ethan, have you been listening?" I just shook my head. "You're a fucking crazy person." Marigold shrugged. "Trust me, stick around, I'm not that bad. Just a little hungry right now." Her hooves seemed to be constantly tapping on the floor. "But really, I do like you, and I'd like to make this a thing. But right now, I need dick--" "Why did you involve Coco in this!?" I screamed, actually looking up at her. "She doesn't deserve this!" Marigold stared at me. "Have you seen that mare? She is adorable, and I'm not letting somepony take advantage of her." I felt my face twist into pure rage. "Bitch, you're taking advantage of her!" Marigold held her hoof out, looking off to the side dismissively. "Yeah, but I'm safe about it. Now...if you really want to leave, just tell me. I'll leave you alone, pay for you to go to some other city, but I'd appreciate if you gave me a chance." "I woke up in bed with you!" I screamed, "How--" "I meant outside of me playing with you." Marigold pulled the plate down from the counter. "The radio show, the name thing, come on...are you--" "That's not flirty! It's fucking rude!" I shouted, sitting upright. "You're bad at flirting!" Marigold popped up nose to nose with me. "Ethan...this isn't me being flirty. Do you want me to be flirty?" She asked honestly. "I was playing...riling you up, getting you and Coco together was easy, just get you both mad at me, now we're here. Now you're going to tell me what you want, and be clear." I leaned back, terrified at the gold orange mare before me. "You're terrifying." "Depends on the day." She stated. "Now, do you want this to be a thing? I'm inviting you...." I bit my lip hard, my brow slowly falling flat. "You're going to get my name right, and you're going to back the hell up!" I stood up, finally letting the rage build in my heart instead of my head. "If you want a relationship, you're going to step the fuck back, and do it like a normal person! What happened last night, you don't tell Coco, you don't tell anyone, and you pretend it never happened. Got it?!" Marigold smiled at me, pressing her nose against my own. "It makes me wet when you're like this." She wiggled her nose against mine. "Fine, I'll play your little game. Now, we need an actual date. Show up to my office tomorrow, we'll work things out." I grumbled hazily as Marigold turned to the door. "God...you're a psycho--" She snapped around in the doorway. "Then tell me to leave, tell me to leave and never come back." Things went silent, leaving me standing off with the chubby mare. "That's what I thought," Marigold flicked her tail, "I'm glad you're not a completely stubborn stallion." I couldn't help but feel something for her, even if only sexual it was enough for the lower parts of my brain to shut me up. "Just go...take the pancakes." I grabbed a plate, walking over to her in a huff. "I'll take care of Coco, just...leave right now." Marigold took the plate. "I know you'll take care of her, that's why I want you for my herd." She smiled, "Now think about it." She whipped herself around, smacking my groin with her tail. "It's bigger than most humans I've seen." She stated, smiling back at me. "And thanks for the food. ... Harold." She snickered as she walked off. A loud creak came from the other room. "Ethan?" Coco's voice broke the silence. "What happened?" I turned to her, holding my arms out before slapping them against my side. "Uh...we had sex.... Stupid, drunk, sex. I'm really sorry." Coco looked down at her hooves. "Oh...uh.... So am I." She turned away. "I drank too much, didn't I?" I shook my head. "No, it's my fault--" "No, really, it was mine--" I cut Coco off mid thought. "Uh...pancakes?" I offered up a plate, "If you want I can like...help you figure out another place to stay." Coco grew a bit pink. "Um...I thought I was going to move in down stairs." She walked over, taking the plate from me. "Thank you...." I stuffed my hands under the towel. "Well I didn't think you'd want to live that close to me...after...this." I waggled my hand towards the bedroom. "Just kind of weird." Coco turned to the door, her ears falling flat as she took on a blush. "Um, it's not that bad. I mean, it's really my faul--" "Did you need help moving?" I asked, trying to avoid us falling into an apologize roulette again. "I could find some time." Coco looked up at me, smiling softly. "That would be nice, thank you." I frowned hard. "Don't thank me...." I turned to the door, thinking of Marigold. "Really, don't thank me." Coco coughed softly. "...Too late." I felt my heart warm up, a smile dragging softly across my face. Meetings"So...I'm taking Coco to a fabric store." "Oh? That sounds nice...are you inviting me?" I stared at Marigold's plot, her ass pushed up onto her desk while she stood on her forelegs. "...Can you not do that?" Marigold laughed from her place under the desk. "What? You said you want me to be flirty." "Not flirting, this is presenting!" I shouted, leaning back against her office wall. "Now you want to stop that?" Marigold flipped her tail up, showing me a squishy wet slit flicking open and closed before me. "No, this is presenting! You can tell by the tail." She laughed, slowly sliding her bum off the desk. She got back onto four legs, quickly switching up and sitting back in her chair like a normal pony. "And sorry, but I can't." I cocked my head. "Uh...didn't you--" "Someone has to run the radio." She stated, "Though, if you want to hang dong and let me have something tasty for a bit, I won't complain." I took a deep breath. "Why? I mean honestly, do you not own a dil--" "Come over to my house after you're done with Coco. Alone." Marigold ducked down, under her desk. "Here, take a seat while I find it." I watched Marigold's tail wiggle around the top of the desk. "No...this is some thinly veiled attempt to get at my crotch." Marigold popped over the desk. "And? You didn't actually shower since we fucked--" "Can you not be so vulgar!?" I shouted, storming up to the desk. "Seriously, if you want to talk about taking dick so deep inside you that you choke, be my guest, but keep Coco out of this!" I slammed the desk, causing everything to jump. "Look at me when I'm--" "Boop." Marigold reached a hoof out from under her desk, poking my shoe with the point of her hoof. She pulled back, not unlike a cat. "Still mad?" I stared at the tail sitting where her head once did. "... So this is you being flirty?" "This is me being cute flirty. Did you want me to be direct flirty? I could bend over my desk if you want." Marigold looked out from under her desk. "Now are you going to take a seat and get that belt off, or what?" I rubbed my face, staring down at the mare at my feet. "Really?" "I like the feeling of sucking on stuff. It's like a big safe place for me. Now barring any sudden carrots or a pacifier, you're the next best thing." She placed her hooves on my feet. "Now sit down?" I grumbled angrily. "What happened to taking it slow?" Marigold stared up at me, yellow eyes burning into my brain. "That's between all of us. You and I, well...you, are the plaything." She smiled up at me. "This is my herd, not yours. If you want to take Coco and I, lead yourself, then do it. But I've watched you since you applied, and you don't seem like that kind of guy." She crawled back under the desk. "Like I said, come to my house later today, we'll actually sit down and talk." She popped up on her side of the desk. "Until then, I'd like to suckle, now are you gonna be a good stallion and tend to your herd, or are you gonna complain and whine about a pretty mare asking you to present?" I took a deep breath. "Can we talk about Coco first?" "If you'll sit down, sure. I'll lay my head against your lap like a good pony." She leaned against the desk, matching my height. "...So am I tall, or are you short?" I shook my head and walked around the desk. "You're chubby." "More to squeeze." She stated, plopping down and waiting for me to sit. "And what did you want to talk about?" She reared up, plopping her upper half into my lap while sitting on my toes. "She's cute, right?" I leaned back, putting my hand on the back of Marigold's head out of instinct. She laid down, chin on my lap. "She is." Marigold's hooves laid gently against me. "I know, that's why I paired you two." She flattened her ears, letting me pet her head unobstructed. "She was working for some crappy theatre company. You could tell she hated it, that small frown she wore was a dead give away." I looked down at the mare in my lap. "And you brought her to a radio station?" Marigold nodded. "I couldn't leave her there. Besides, I'd figured she'd find a way to clothes make...whatev--" "Tailor?" "Yeah that." Marigold dug her hooves into my groin. "Smells nice, kinda like a hoof after a good rubbing." I shivered softly. "Maybe focus?" Marigold looked up at me. "Your boner says otherwise--" "Coco!" I shouted, pulling her ear. "Why'd you bring her into this?" Marigold sighed loudly. "Like I said, I pair my employees. You two, you two were just so cute. You were both drunk, and she was falling over you. Even if it's just a crush, I couldn't miss out." She buried her muzzle into my groin. "I'd like a herd, I used to be in herds back in Canterlot. It's always one stallion though, and they're always in charge. I don't like that, I mean sure, I like being the little spoon, and taking it in my tender little holes like the bad filly I am, but I like being in charge of stuff too." I continued to pet Marigold's head, her slightly wavy mane nice against my fingers. "But why'd you put her in the show? I get it, it's like a morning show--" "To get you two together." She stated. "If I was the worst boss I could be, of course you two would have something in common. I threw you both in a room with me, somepony would leave, and take the other with them." She nuzzled my lap. "I'm good at what I do." I felt her tug my belt open. "But she doesn't know about the radio. I barely know about the--" "You've got to be a personality." She stated. "And I've got a few other ideas for shows. We'll talk about it at actual dinner." I felt myself pull free of my painfully tight confines. "So I'm an act-or now?" I asked, my voice clenching as Marigold breathed past my tip. "I have no idea--" Marigold held my tip between her teeth, her warm breath tingling down my cock. "Just talk." She flicked her tongue against my tip. "That's all. You go help Coco with her dress thing, but you two come in and do the show every Wednesday." She kissed my tip, leaned back and causing me to shudder. "Hold my head down, okay?" I kept my hand pressed against the back of her skull as she teased me, causing a dull ache to gather around my cocktip. "This really isn't the--" I stopped dead, my body tightening up as she suckled at my tip, soft lips combined with the constant pulsing suction caused my leg to shoot out. "Fuck balls...." Marigold pulled back. "Ethan, remind me to tell you about Canterlot later. I have some ideas, and I think Coco could help." She pressed her nose agaisnt my rod. "Now don't cum, and pet my head...I need this before I go on." I leaned back, closing my eyes as Marigold pushed down, taking my into her mouth and no further. She wasn't joking, this wasn't about me, she was lost in her comfort zone. All I could do is hold on as the mare pressed my against the inside of her cheek, slobbering on me as I stroked her mane, still keeping her down ever so slightly. I thought to Coco, wondering how horrid she would take the betrayal. Marigold let out a soft coo, slowly pulling back with a smooth draw. She let off with a small whimper, leaning back and pushing off my lap. "Hmm.... I'm alright." She stepped off me, leaving me pent up and ready to go. "Thanks Ethan...I'll pick you up later...." She wandered off, slowly closing the door behind her. I just sat there, heaving in her chair. "God damn- wait, pick me up!?" To Build A Skirt From Scratch..."I don't know, this is nice." I mumbled, walking down the isle and brushing my hand along some nice cotton rolls. "What were you trying to make again?" Coco lingered around the isles, slowly scanning each one. "Um, what did you want?" I looked over the isle, just tall enough to see her over the fabrics. "Oh no, I don't need anything." Coco looked down to the fabrics. "Then I'm paying." She stated, "It's fine really, I can afford it alright." I shook my head. "No, you're new in town. It's my treat, alright?" Coco leaned against the shelves, propped herself upright. "Well then let me make you something." She grew ever so slightly pink. "Let me make up for last night." I leaned over the isles as far as I could. "Uh, that's why we're here. I mean, I know I said I'd take you here, but this is me making up for getting to hammered to think straight." Coco looked down and shook her head. "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have--" "Coco we're not going to do this." I walked around the isle, standing off with her. "I'm the one at fault, now let me make it up to you." Coco shook her head again, her collar shaking softly against her coat. "No--" I reached down, pulling her into a tight hug and tucking her backside under my arm. "Stop it." I carried her towards the corner of the shop, setting her down and meeting her head height. "Listen...you're going to get the fabrics, machines, whatever you want. You can keep them in my house until you move, but you're not--" "Then let me make you a shirt." Coco shot back, leaning in close. "I feel so bad for what--" "No, I feel bad." I whispered angrily. "Coco, I was supposed to get you home and--" Coco leaned in a bit fiery in her own right. "I was drunk. You were drunk. I lead you on, I know I did." "Coco stop." I held her still by the withers. "You didn't lead me on, we were having fun and I just took it too--" "No I--" I shook Coco gently. "Coco, no, bad. Stop shifting the blame from me!" Coco stared at me, bright blue eyes a bit confused. "Um...there's somepony behind you." I snapped my head around. A peach unicorn was standing over me, staring at us. "Uh, can I help you?" The mare shook her head. "No, just making sure you weren't making out." The mare turned away, dusting the shop with her tail as she went. "And you're both wrong, it was the moon's fault." I stared at the rather intrusive mare. "That's a terrible joke." I stood up, dusting myself off and straightening my pants. "And really Coco, it was my f--" "No, it--" "Oh Celestia's sake, kiss already!" The mare shouted, leaning against the counter near the front of the shop. "You, you like him, and you, you like her, now kiss!" The mare stomped her hoof. "Or don't, but go do something!" She flopped down, hooves hanging over the counter. "I can't take anymore, no I'm sorry." I turned sharply towards Coco. "Uh, we're actually not dating." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "We just kinda...yeah." Coco looked around nervously. "Well I- no...no we're n--" The mare slammed the counter. "Yes, you are!" She flailed her forelegs like mad. "This is a date. Not the best place, but still." I felt a bit flustered. "Uh, no, it's like. It's complicated alright." The mare shook her head, brow in a sharp V. "Nuh uh, it's actually really simple." She poked a hoof towards me. "You, you're gonna buy a bunch of fabric and a machine." She moved her hoof to Coco, causing her to pop upright. "You're gonna make a jacket for him," she swung her hoof back over to me. "And you're gonna wear it," And back towards Coco. "And he's gonna buy you lunch, or dinner, or he's gonna eat directly off your body. I don't know, just stop with the sexual tension and buy something!" I stared at the mare, snapping down to find Coco with a bright blush. I rubbed my face, trying to rid myself of the image of nyotaimorizing Coco. "Uh...sure." I dug into my wallet, finding my bank card. "Coco...go, get the--" "No. I'll get it." The mare wiggled herself over the counter. "She'll buy the cheapest stuff so she doesn't cost you too much." She hurried off, leaving me standing stalk stiff before the counter. We both watched as the mare loaded up a few bolts of fabric and a slim looking sewing machine onto a cart. "You have a--" The mare stopped when she looked over Coco. "Yeah, you have a kit." Coco turned away. "Um...yes." The mare stared at her, glaring quite angrily. "...You're getting a new one." She pointed a hoof up to me. "You, how much you spending." I jolted upright. "Uh, money really isn't an issue, just don't gouge me." The mare nodded sharply. "Good boy." She snapped a small box onto the counter and slid it across. "Three hundred bits." I walked over, grumbling softly. "And I said don't gouge me--" The mare snatched my card away. "I'm cutting your price down by fifteen percent, don't you start with me." She hastily slid my card, snapping it down against the sewing machine. "Now get out! If you apologize anymore I'm going to lose my great mighty nuggets." I stared at the mare. "Uh, bad day?" The mare glared at me. "I was fine until the shy couple decided to have a domestic incident in my shop." She slumped down, laying her chin across the counter. "I have to imagine that's what it would be like if you ever got in a real fight. Oh I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings! Oh, let me make dinner to fix it. No, that's fine, let's go to dinner, I'll pay." She rolled her head to the side. "Ugh. I need a nap." I nodded, picking up the heavy machine and the bolts of fabric. "Yeah, should close up and get some rest." "Yeahwhatever." She grumbled, staring down at the thread holders on her counter. "Come back when you need more cloth, just not together. The building will collapse out of sheer guilt." Coco walked with me, heading through the double glass doors and out into the half empty streets. Everypony either at the beach or at work, leaving the roads mostly abandoned. She looked up at me with a smile. "Thanks, this was really fun." I smiled down at her. "I can make it better, go apologize to her again." Coco looked at me with a small frown. "I do- oh, what the hay." She chuckled, turning back towards the shop. I waited outside, hearing a loud yelp as Coco bolted outside. She jammed her hoof against her backside. "She threw a pin holder at me...." I felt my eyes open wide. "Oh...well shit. Need a bandaid?" Coco rubbed her flank. "No...I think I'm okay." I cocked an eyebrow. "We'll see later. See how far this date goes." I turned to the sidewalk, doomed to carry the heavy machine by myself. Coco ran up, beside me, looking around nervously. "Um...did you--" "Yes, it's a date." I stated clearly. "Mare said so." Coco looked around, darting between my shoes and my head. "Oh, I uh...um, okay." She took a deep breath. "Thanks for not being mad--" "Oh my god, Coco, it was my fault!" TAKI sat in my living room, leaning against my wrist as Coco's new machine rattled away. The constant tak tak tak rather pleasant in the hot summer afternoon. "Hey Coco, can I ask something?" I shifted on my couch, stretching my legs and laying my cheek against one of the arms. "I mean, it's a litter personal, so feel free to say no." Coco kept her eyes on her hooves, carefully sewing up some cloth. "I...don't.... Mind." I laughed, seeing the mare so focused was a nice change from her usual nervous twitch. "Like, it's about sex, kinda." I scratched my head and laid on my back. "I heard this thing about washing machines, but I just figured it might apply to a sewing machine too." The takking stopped dead. "...Ethan...are you asking if I--" "Have you ever masturbated with a sewing machine?" I asked plain, turning my head and spotting a blush growing over her cheeks. She didn't face me, keeping her eyes glued to the fabric on the machine. "... You did didn't you?! Awesome!" I laughed heartily, covering my mouth to keep from spitting. "Ooooh man!" Coco continued to grow red. "I sat on it. I wouldn't really call it masturbating...." She tapped her hooves together and started to mumble. "Did you cum? If you cum it's masturbating, or sex." I shifted about, sliding my hands over the soft material couch. "Oh man, you're lit up like a Christmas light." Coco refused to look at me. "It was at work. I got fired when they found out." I felt something cold shoot across my smile. "Oh...." I crossed my arms, resting a forearm on each knee. Coco loosened her collar with a hooftip. "I was sleeping in my aunt's house in Ponyville, and just one night I sat on a machine and worked through the night." She reached up and rubbed the arm of the machine. "I didn't like that job much anyways." I swallowed hard and rubbed my throat. "I guess I understand. Like, if I jerked it on the radio equipment, they'd probably want to fire me." Coco let out a long sigh. "Yeah." She stared at the machine. "I uh...I--" She shoved the cloth off the machine and grabbed her head. "I need...a second...." I felt a heavy frown rest on my lips. "Coco, you okay?" I shifted to the side of the couch closest to her. "You need a hug? I'm here for--" Coco held a hoof before me, the equine equivelant of talk to the hand. "Ethan--I need--a second. I need to think of some things." I played with my fingers. "Uh...do you want me to leave? I can go--" Coco let out an irritated sigh and put her hooves on the machine. "Ethan, are we dating?" I swallowed hard. "If you can call a few days together and a bar dive a dating life." Coco sighed loudly. "I don't like dates.... The other pony just stares at me, and I don't like it." Coco shook her head. "I don't like when ponies stare at me for no reason. It's like, when I give them a reason to stare at me they just ignore me, and when I want to be alone or quiet they sit there and burn a hole into my head." She grabbed the machine and slowly reared up. "Ethan...we should go to the beach." I rubbed my mouth. "Uh, well if you don't like people staring at you, that might not be the best place." I watched as Coco set the machine on the floor. "Um...Coco--" "Quiet." She shifted it about, setting it into place. "I said I don't like when they stare at me for no reason. I mean, I just don't like staring at other ponies from across a dining table. It feels fake, like everypony does it because that's how they learned." I stared, starting to get a bit hot as Coco mounted the arm of the machine. "Uh...I get...that." I felt my nose burn as she pulled the foot peddle over towards her. "I just...don't--" Coco slowly pushed the peddle. She let out a short moan as the machine started to tak away once again. She crossed her legs, adjusting herself on the edge of the machine. "Beach- would be nice. Or- movie- blanket camping may-be." I watched the cream mare shift around on the machine. "I could figure something out. Blanket camping, is that like--" Coco lowered her head and shoved her forelegs against her lap. "Like star watching...." She kicked a leg out and twitched slightly before pulling it back over her other leg. "Uuuuuh Ethan, am I pretty? Nopony ever calls me pretty." I lowered my arms against my groin, trying to hide my pride. "Um, I wouldn't call you pretty. Cute would be a better word." I could see Coco's mane starting to get a bit wild as she bounced slightly on the vibrating machine. "Not sure I can call you cute after this though--" "I don't care." She let out a long huff and undid her tie. "I need a second...." "Apparently." I started to ache, trapped in my pants. "Do I need to be here for this?" Coco huffed loudly. "It's not a big deal...." "You're riding a sewing machine." "I didn't cum yet. So, it's not masturbating yet." She tapped her back leg on the floor like mad, sending another tapping to join the machine. "You said it's masturbating if you cum, right? I'm just sitting and talking. And you were gonna stare at me anyways, give you a reason this way." I started bouncing my leg like mad. "That's not really what I meant." "Ethan, do you like me?" Coco asked, trying to balance on the very edge of the machine. I could feel something damp on my forehead. "Uh...that's a loaded question. And I- I mean I already do like you. Just, kinda sudden right now--" "You asked me to." She shot back, a few stray mane-hairs starting to poke out of her manecut. I crossed my legs like a girl, crushing my cock between my thighs. "Uh, I asked if you ever did. It was more curiosity than command." Coco let out a protracted moan, digging her hoof into the rug under her. "Too late." I pinched the tip of my nose hard. "So...ponies...really, really like sex, huh?" "Herd- instincts- breed a lot- better-- buck!" Coco flung herself forward, barely getting her hooves under her in time. She was hunched over like a cat in heat, huffing slightly as her collar slid off her neck. "Buuu-uuuck." I pursed my lips. "That's uh.... I failed biology in highschool. I probably should have paid--" Coco shook herself hard. "I'll show you what I mean." I coughed sharply. "Excuse me?" Coco shivered hard and reached a hoof back. "Nothing. I'm okay...." She took a deep breath. "I'm alright." I watched as the red faced mare slowly eased up. "Coco, you feeling okay?" Coco wiggled her back legs, dropping a damp set of cream panties off around her hooves. "Yeah...felt a little pent up, lot of memories about Ponyville just now." I stared at the panties, now sitting in a heap on the rug. "Summer of sixty-five kinda deal or what?" Coco turned away from me, covering her backside with her tail. "My first coltfriend, my first job, and first heat. They all happened pretty close together." I stared at the mare, shifting uncomfortably form side to side. "Uh, how long ago was this?" Coco rubbed her face, slowly settling down and easing her posture. "Um, a few years ago." I bit my tongue. "Am I allowed to ask how old you are?" Coco turned to face me, fresh faced and only with a minor tweak in her mane. "Twenty. I think. To be honest I lost track of what day it was when I moved into Manehattan. I've been keeping time off Winter Wrap Up." "Oh uh...twenty-two." I shifted around to face her dead on. "So this was...were you trying to tell me something? Like, was that some weird seduction thing, because I don't really know how to feel about what just happened." Coco looked up at me with a concerned frown. "No, it just needed to get out." She flattened out her ears and looked back to the machine. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel weird." She lowered her head, keeping her face flat towards me. "Should I go?" I coughed softly. "Well, considering I need to go take care of something right now, I can't say I don't understand." I held my arms out. "Just a little strange you did it in front of me.... Could have gone to the bathroom if you really needed to." Coco's ears flipped forward, then straight back down. "I uh, I guess. I wasn't exactly thinking super clear...sorry." I let out a strange soft churl. "No...Coco, stop being sad." I leaned forward and carefully pulled the mare towards me. "Come here." Coco dug her hooves in just enough to make me use force. "Coco...come." Coco shook her head as I pulled her towards me. "No...I'm okay, it's fine--" As soon as her foreleg touched my knee she shot upright and latched herself around my neck. She pressed her chin against my neck, leaving me to cradle her back and her head. She let out a long sigh as I brushed my hands over her mane. "Ethan... why does nopony like me?" I rubbed the mare's back, slowly leaning back onto the couch. "Coco, I don't know anypony that doesn't like you." "Suri. Pressed. Buttons--" "Those your bosses?" I asked, dragging her back legs across my knees and onto my lap. "Those sound like fashion people." Coco just stayed quiet. "Marigold--" "She likes you. I like you. The radio crew thinks you're sweet." I bounced the mare on my knee, hoisting her up against me. "You should really talk to more people than just ponies you work for." Things went quiet as Coco laid against me, resting damp against my thigh. "Ethan...do you like me? I like you." "Yeah, why wouldn't I? You've been really--Ow." I tensed up as Coco bit my neck, followed up by a hearty suction. "Coco...why?" I could feel her teeth digging bluntly into my neck. I let out a long breath and dug my thumbs against Coco's front, trying to discreetly pry her off me. "Coco, let go please." Coco tried to keep her hooves around me, but even while she was an earth pony, she was still a bit weak. She popped off, her teeth snapping shut rather loudly as I held her back. "...Oh...." Coco stayed there, my hands under her forelegs. Her ears shot back and eyes darted to the floor. "Sorry...I left a mark." I set Coco down and shot my hand to my neck. "What? Did you give me a hickey?!" I couldn't help but laugh. "Jesus, why?" Coco tapped her hooves on the ground. "I don't know...I read in a magazine that humans like that.... I didn't know, I'm so sorry!" I stood up and rubbed the now achey spot. "It's fine, Coco, just odd is all." "Sorry." She turned away, ears popping up towards the door. "Somepony's coming, I'll just go check who it is." She bolted off towards the door, leaving me standing before the now damp machine and the pair of panties. "Probably Marigold." I picked the machine up, ignoring the slightly musky smell. "Well...myth confirmed I guess." I looked down at the pair of darkened panties, sitting sadly on the floor. "...Do I go full creep...or do I play nice guy." I turned to the door, watching as Coco talked with the guest, her tail plastered between her legs. "Should probably stop talking to myself first." I walked over towards the door, spotting the psychotic mare in a black dress waiting for me. "Oh, there he is." Marigold flapped her wings, causing her dress to flutter behind her. "Ready to go?" I ran my hand up Coco's back, causing her flank to bump up. "As ready as I'm going to be. Coco, you gonna be okay here?" Coco looked up at me, smiling softly. "I'll be okay...." I ran my nails over her neck, watching as she shuddered. "Alright, I'll be back soon." I stepped past, out the door with two quick steps. The door creaked shut, leaving me and Marigold to climb down to a waiting carriage. "Oh, really, a carriage?" Marigold nodded. "What, you thought I walked or flew? In this dress? Please-" she brushed her wither with a hoof, "-you don't fly in a Shores dress." I shook my head and focused on the stairs, the stone mess groaning as I walked down. "I don't know who that is." I kept along, the sun was slowly falling in the distance, painting the ocean a bright copper. "So what did you tell Coco?" Marigold marched past me, straight into the carriage with absolutely no ceremony. "Business trip. I'm gonna talk with her tomorrow, so don't feel too special." I stepped after her, the wooden contraption groaning under my weight. It was a simple thing, two sets of bench seating facing inward. "So this is gonna be a thing? Three of us, I mean." Marigold flopped down in a seat and patted the spot next to her with her hoof. "Well, yeah. I don't get involved in my shipping much, but you two are just too cute together. I'm gonna ruin it, throw in some bondage and some kinky stuff and show you how a Canterlot mare does things right." I carefully sat down next to her, leaning my back fully against the wall of the carriage. "So what am I? What's this freaking--" "It's a herd, I'm in charge, you provide the muscle, Coco provides the charm." Marigold bopped my arm with a hoof. "It's not that hard." I rubbed my neck. "Sure." Marigold started to chuckle. "Whoa, what's wrong with your neck?" She leaned forward, peeking at my hickey. "Coco give you that?" I sighed loudly. "So, is tonight going to end in sex? Seems like it always does, right?" Marigold leaned back and put a hoof on my knee. "It doesn't have to, but it can. Planning sex takes half the fun out of it." I nodded curtly. "Alright...so, I'm just gonna get this over with." I reached to the side in a flash, grabbing Marigold by the forelegs. "Whoa, hey there--" "Quiet you." I pulled her across my lap and slid my hand from her back-hoof sandals over her legs and under her dress. "Me time." I flipped her dress up, revealing that orangish fat flank I was expecting. Marigold tried to push free, my hand on the back of her neck keeping her pinned. "Hey, Mario, maybe--" I brought my hand down across her flank, causing her head to jolt up against my arm. "What's my fucking name?!" Marigold let out a long growl. "I'm sorry, did you just spank me!? I'm in a two thousand bit dress, and you just-- Fucker!" I grabbed her flank, squeezing her soft chubby ass. The warm sensation rippled up my arm, stopping at the elbow. "What is my name?" I ran my hand up her flank, digging my nails in until I found her pantie line. "I've had a fucking hell of a day! And you're either going to do what I say or I'm going to bruise your ass!" Marigold tried to push off the bench, completely stuck under my hands. "Pete, I'm warning you, if you don't let me go you're going to regret it." She pushed off again, getting forced back down by my hand on her her withers. "Ryan, this isn't a joke.... I'm all for a little dom play, but not in this d--" "Fuck the dress!" I yanked her panties up, causing her flank to lift and tail to pop upright. I pulled hard, causing the chubby mare to grunt and mumble as I ground her mound with the thin cloth. "Say my fucking name!" I kept her head pinned and pulled her panties hard. "Say, my, fucking, name!" I slid my hand down, prodding whatever warm hole I found. Marigold moaned as I squeezed whatever plump flesh I could find. "Ethan...stop." "What did you say!?" I pinched her labia, squeezing it hard against her winking nub. "Fucking say my god damn name!" "Ethan...." "Louder!" I shouted, forcing her head down. "Come on, louder!" I spread her flanks, her panties forming a neat white line up and down her groin. "Ethan!" "That all you got? I know I'm a nice guy, but you just fucking piss me off! Now fucking scream my god damn name!" I pinched her nub, causing her to moan like a bitch in heat. "Scream it!" "Ethan- bucking Ethan Ethan- fucking Ethan!" She arched her back hard, presenting herself to the wall as I teased her. "You're a damn animal!" I let her go, holding my hands up off her body. "Around you? Around people that piss me off? Oh yes!" Marigold huffed, trying to catch her breath. "What did I do now?! I just--" "Nothing...just...you've made me mad and a lot of screwed up shit just happened." I clenched my fists and grabbed my head. "Pent up...like Coco now." Marigold looked up at me, not even blushing. "Coco? What did she do?" I shook my head. "Nothing...now are you gonna bend over or do I have to make you?" Marigold slowly slid off me. "So- all I have to do is make you mad? Then you'll bend me over and destroy me? Dear Celestia...should have told me sooner--" "Blame Coco. She freaking...she just- she did a thing and now I either need to sort this out-" I started undoing my belt, "-or I'm going to be blue-balled for the entire night." Marigold laid her front half on the floor of the carriage, holding her backside up high for me. "It could have waited...just, don't finish on the dress--" "I get it!" I fished my angry rod out of my boxers. "Won't take much anyways." I stood up, holding the wall to keep from falling over as we rolled along the streets of Baltimare. "Uh...how long have we been moving?" Marigold shoved a hoof between her legs. "Does it matter?" "Guess not." I lined myself up with her, pressing my tip against her pantie covered mound. "Alrigh- I...fuck- fuckin--" I jammed myself against the hot wet mound, letting myself tremble as the moist cloth rubbed against my cocktip. All I could feel was ache, constant, unending ache. But the soft feeling of her warm pussy lips behind those panties was enough to set me off. "Ah- fuck- too soon." I groaned, feeling the quake hit me. The tension shot right to my tip, letting loose a seap of cum into her already wet panties. Marigold turned around, cheek pressed against the floor. "Oh wow...did you just--" I held onto her ass, squeezing the warm mass of fat as I shot my load straight against her pussy, dripping the gruel through her panties and against her opening. "Oooooooh thank god...." I lowered my head and let the constant pulse turn my legs to jelly. I held onto the wall as my cum mixed with the small amount of mare juice she was letting out. "Cum stained panties...the most beautiful kind...." I pulled my tip away, a string of some sort of sticky fun linking my cock to the massive wet patch around her tightly outlined mound. "Oh god...I need a second." CLEAN"So, saw those two mares walk you home last night." My neighbor leaned out of his window, the slim griffon chewing on an apple while watching me. "Get lucky?" I ignored him, continuing to blast myself with a hose. "I'll never be clean again!" I shouted, scrubbing myself through my boxers. "Never again!" I continued to spray myself down, the freezing cold water only made all the worse by the rising sun. "Oh god, why!?" My neighbor continued to eat. "I don't know, they looked cute. One was walking into posts and stuff, but the other one seemed alright." I threw the hose to the ground, picking up a kitchen sponge and scraping it along my body. "They don't make water hot enough!" My neighbor nodded. "Probably got a little steamy right?" I fell to my knees in the small puddle forming on our shared lawn. "Aaaugh, mom, dad, I'm so sorry!" I fell onto my hands and knees. "I think I'm just going to walk into the ocean." My neighbor chuckled. "Sure. Hey, you want a bagel or something?" I stayed in the middle of our lawn, on my hands and knees, waiting for god to strike me down with a bolt of lightning or a truck dropped from on high. "...Towel?" My neighbor nodded, finishing up his apple. "I'll bring you a towel and a muffin, okay?" I flopped onto my side, the cold grass nice against my sponge scrapes. "...Berry please...." I stared out at the ocean, watching the sun slowly rise in the distance. "...eugh." I whimpered to myself, wondering how painful it would be to be eaten by a sea monster.
ConnectionsI sat quietly in back of the recording booth, watching as everyone got ready to go live. "Arroyo get that cable plugged in!" my boss shouted from across the room. "One second! Wait, wait...wait.... Got it!" I plugged the cable in and watched as the levels started to rise. The technician watched me as I snuck around behind the booth. "Good work, and we're live in...three...two...one, go." Wayne quickly read his intro "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, welcome to the show. Today we'll be, covering the recent wonderbolts tournament, conducting an interview with the mayor of Baltimare, discussing the recent influx of Russian immigrants, and discussing the recent proposal to found a new town in the desert south of Los Pegasus. But first, a word from out sponsors." A loud ding set Wayne free. "Clear." "Fucking shit, ass, fuck!" Wayne had a small rage session. "Damn...been holding that in since we started." I slowly backed towards the door. Immediately hit by the door as the produced trotted in. "Hey I need somebody to head to Manehatten, who's free!?" she swung her head around the room, finding everyone working, aside from me. "Hey you, you're not doing anything important right?" I let out a rough cough. "Well I-" "Perfect, I need you to meet someone in Manehatten. Normally I'd send a someone who knows what there doing, but you're just picking someone up. That...and I like your mustache." she poked my stomach with a hoof. I took a step back, they way she spoke always through my off, so fast paced it was hard to follow her train of thought. "Um thanks? So what am I doing?" She bopped herself with her hoof. "Head to Manehatten, find a pony named Coco Pommel and Pressed Suit, they agreed to come on the show and talk about fashion or something." I felt like falling over. "Can't they-" "Eh- quiet you. We're professionals and I wanted them escorted straight here! Hmm...get ready, I'll meet you at the front doors with the plans." our producer ran out of the room. Everyone, pony and human, watched her leave. "What a loon." one of the pony techs mumbled as he checked the levels. I hurried out of the already cramped room and to the bathroom. I've been working here for months and they still treat me like a no name chump. I stared up at the mirror. "Oh...I do have a mustache.... I need to freaking shave." I pushed off the counter and hurried to the break room. I nabbed a few doughnuts and hurried to the front doors. The producer was trotting in place at the door. "Hey Danny, here take this and go." she flew over with a single flap of her wings, forcing a few papers into my grip and flying off. "My name's not...alright." I looked at the papers the mare had shoved into my hands. A train pass with the studio's logo, two train tickets, a meeting place, and some names. The exact same names she had told me. Did she think I wasn't listening? This place moved so fast, faster then LA ever did. I walked out of the studio and started off towards my house. A quick change into something more formal was in order. I walked through the streets, ponies and dressed up in beach clothes as I headed home. A small shared house on the edge of the beach was serving me well. I found the house, running up the steps and to my half of the house. The place still felt empty, but I guess that was fine. I never spent much time in here anyways. I pulled a pair of slacks and a collared shirt out, quickly replacing my jeans and tee. Once I was redressed I headed outside, almost immediately finding it too hot and pulling my sleeve up. I ran through town, bumping into beach bound people as I went towards the station. I clawed my way to the platform as they were boarding. I hurried in and spent the next twenty minuets standing in a crowded car as we headed into Manehatten. I stepped off the platform and was immediately swept up in the tide of ponies and people. I fought the tide, eventually getting to open ground and collecting myself. "Son...of a bitch...this is ridiculous." I caught my breath, trying to slow down. I looked at the address on the paper and fought my way through the crowds and towards the right direction. I felt like I was drowning as I clawed my way out of the crowd, tripping and falling into the door of the meeting place. Ponies bunched up around me as I tried to get to my feet. I pushed into the building. The atmosphere immediately changing, becoming less frantic and more welcoming as the smell of warm coffee filled the air. The hellstorm of the cities melted away as I looked around the room. The description on Suit was rather vague, dark grey. The description of the mare was much more helpful, bright light blue mane. I spotted her in seconds. Walking over and gather a stiff look from the stallion with her. "Can I help you?" I put my hand on the nearest chair to steady myself. "I'm from, Baltimare...supposed-" "Finally!" the stallion shot upright. "Coco get ready." The stallion ignored me entirely, walking out and into the blur. The mare paused and looked me over. "Are you alright?" My breathing was extremely heavy as I leaned into the chair. "It's been...kinda hectic...." I gestured for her to follow me as I drudged out of the shop, thrown back into the blur of Manehatten. I spotted the stallion and ran after him, almost immediately thrown back into a train, this time in a small box with the others. I leaned back into the seat as I tried to sort out the past hour, burned away in seconds, leaving behind a dim blur in its wake. "Dear Celestia boy, you look dusted." I nodded weakly at the stallion. "Yeah...like I told her...hectic." I pointed at the mare, quickly letting my hand fall to my side. The stallion nodded. "Well we're on our way, free tickets and all. So about the interview." "I'm not in charge of that, they just sent me to pick you two up." I explained, much to the dismay of the stallion. "Unbelievable. I tell them to send me someone important and they send an intern." I ignored him, sitting back in the chair and taking a short nap. My nap was fleeting, as the train pulled in I was forced out and into the swirling infinite of Baltimare. I lead them to the studio before collapsing and sitting with my back propped up against the wall of the producers office. "Just five minutes, five god damn fucking minutes!" I tried to collect my thoughts. I had just went from Baltimare to Manehatten, Manehatten to Balitmare, things couldn't get any crazier. The producer popped out of her office, nearly slamming her door into my head. "Oh Jim, there you are. Hey listen I kinda need you to do something for me. Nothing big, but...Pressed and Coco need a place to stay for the night, and I'm not about to pay for a hotel...sooo...yeah...you live in a house right?" I stared at her in awe. "Good, then they can stay with you until tomorrow." I was stunned, unable to argue through my sheer dumbfound mind. I had just gone nearly fifty miles back and forth in an hour, dragged with ponies back with me, nearly been stomped by a herd of ponies, and she still had the audacity to ask me to do more. Worse still, I couldn't refute it. I've been working here for a month and they still treat me like a damn intern, threatening to fire me if I don't do what they ask. I stood up, the ponies in question following me slowly as I walked down the stairs and towards the front door. "So...Jim...where will we-" I snapped around, cutting the stallion off. "My name's not Jim. Now I'm gonna go home, have a smoke, and go the fuck to sleep. If you're coming then keep up, if not, find a place to sleep else where!" with that I stomped off towards my house. I could hear the two trotting behind me as I made my way down that familiar path back home. I ignored them and hurried towards my house, throwing the door open and leaving it ajar. I found an old pack of cigarettes and ran back to the proach, bumping into the prim stallion and the blue maned mare. "You can sleep on the couch or something...just don't bug me." I pushed out of my house and sat on the steps. The days worries started to subside as I took the first drag of the day. I let it out, sending a large cloud of smoke past my head. "Fuck...everything...." I mumbled to myself as I stifled a cough. Time felt like it was slowing down as I watched the sky turn a deep amber. Ponies down by the beach started packing up and leaving, pedestrians got fewer and fewer. I enjoyed the empty sight of the beach as I burned through a few of the carcinogenic sticks. "Hey...." A soft voice pulled my back into reality. The blue maned mare had taken a seat next to me. "You mind if I...." she pointed her hoof at the pack in my hand. I shrugged, tilting a cigarette out of the pack. She quickly took it in her mouth. I grabbed her head and lit her's with my own. She took a deep breath, exhaling the grey smoke through her nose. "Thanks...." "Yep. Shit...has...been...crazy." I talked slowly, in between stretching out and taking deep drags. "So you're names Coco or something right?" She nodded, sucking in and taking another drag. She blew it out, letting the stream travel in a stright line away from her lips. "Yep...and you're not Jim, right?" I gave a single halfhearted laugh. "Three months and they still never bothered to learn my name. Then again I don't think they care." I stopped the cigarette under my heel and tossed the butt down the steps. "You coming inside?" She looked back at me. "Oh, sure. I almost forgot why I came out here...I was supposed to tell you-" I figured out what she was gonna say as I tried my bedroom door. "The suit guy's in there isn't he?" She smiled cheekily and walked past. "Sorry." I kicked the door at the base. "It's not your fault...and you'll sleep on the couch..." I let out a long sigh. "Fine...whatever...I'll sleep on the floor or something." Coco followed me as I cleared a spot on the floor with my foot, kicking over a bunch of crap as I did. "Well...it looks like a big couch...I mean, I don't take up that much space." I ignored her and tore a pillow down and onto the floor. "It's fine...I've done it before." She stared at me for a while, eventually jumping up on the couch and hanging her forelegs off the edge. "That doesn't look nice." she mumbled aloud as I laid face first into the pillow. I turned my head to meet her. "It's not, but it's better than concrete." I rolled onto my back, watching Coco as she stared at me. "I'm not gonna move...you don't need to watch me." Coco got slightly red, hiding it behind the arm of the couch. "I just feel bad...it's your house, you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor." I took a deep breath and settled in. "Yeah well, you're not the one who stole my bed. Besides, you're a guest. It's one night, I'll be fine." Coco slowly sank down below the arm of the couch. "Well...alright...night." "Night." I rolled back onto my side and relaxed. Things had gone from horrible, to hectic, to calm, to slightly less calm in a matter of hours. This was just about all I could hope for, a relaxing wind down and a few extra hours of sleep.
ContractsI felt something wiggled around. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, Coco had crawled down from the couch and had laid her head across my arm.I let out a soft laugh as I realized what had really woken me up. A loud scratching at my front door was becoming painfully apparent. I set the mare back on the couch and went to the front door. I threw it open, a cat I've been feeding walked in. "Toki, morning..." I talked to the cat as I started looking for a can of cat food. Toki snaked between my legs as I set the can of food onto the floor. I finished with him and tried to relax. I pressed my back against the counter and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "You have a cat?" a sweet voice caught me while I was rubbing my eyes. "Uh...kinda, he's not mine but he keeps coming around." I stretched out and rolled my neck. "Sleep well?" Coco looked back the the makeshift bedding on the floor. "Yeah...I mean...yes...." she smiled wide, her face growing only slightly red as she walked over to the cat. She started baby talking to the cat. I left her to her fun and went to check on the last pony in the house. I walked over to my room and found it a bit ransacked. Pressed was nowhere to be seen. I let out a sigh as I got dressed. I picked a decent pair of light grey slacks and a white shirt. I started gathering my things for the day and walked back into the kitchen. "Coco...Coco?" I walked over and picked up Toki. Coco quickly straightened out and nearly slammed into a wall. "Sorry what?" I pointed to the door. "Time to get going. Gotta get to the studio or they'll dock my pay...again." I carried Toki down the steps of my house and tossing him into a bush. "Aww! Don't just throw him like that!" Coco charged down the steps and tired to push me, only managing to make me lose my balance for a moment. "That was so mean." I watched Toki walk out of the bush. "Cats are amazingly resilient to bushes, he's fine." Coco turned her head and watched as Toki walked into the neighboring yard. "See." Coco frowned and sat down. "I still don't like it." I walked past her, pulling her hair clip away as I went back to lock my door. I pocketed the clip and locked my door. After a quick walk down the steps for a final time, I started off with the mare. "Hair clip." I tucked the accessory into her bag. She gave me a conflicted look. "Why'd you take it off?" "Uhhh...you look better without it?" I said, not caring about the possible consequences, my experiences with calling ponies cute or something along those lines earned you one of two things, a friend, or a night in bed. Either that or a solid punch in the face. . "Oh...thank you." well at least it wasn't a punch, or kick. I never gave it much thought. I pressed on and hurried towards the studio. Coco adopted a decent pace, trotting along like the mares I see jogging past everyday. "Hey Coco...you jog?" She look at me with a slight smile. "A little, just for fun though." "I can tell. It's the way you walk, kinda...jaunty? Something like that." She smiled and turned away. The rest of the walk into the studio was quiet. We pushed into the doors as one of my few friends was reading sports. "...Canterlot's finest lost once again to the Appleloosan Reds." "Damn it!" I yelled loudly as I lead Coco up the stairs. "There goes fifty bits." Coco just frowned as I lead her to the producers office. I was about to knock on her door when it flung open, hitting my in the cheek. "Mother-" I crumbled, holding my cheek and trying to stop the pain. "Oh Frank, you're here. Perfect." the producer kept talking like a maniac as I go to my feet. "Wayne copped out on me, I need someone to do the interview while we get ready for the fashion- oh hey you're here too! Awesome.... So anyways, get in the booth." I leaned against the wall as I caught up with her speech. "Wait wait wait- what do you- ow- mean copped out?" "He was getting uppity yesterday so I sent him home, now he's not here!" I shook my head hard and rubbed my cheek. "Do you ever talk to your employees? It might help." The producer shook her carrot colored mane. "Look Bill, I don't have time for your mystical nonsense. Just get in the booth and host the interview. It's all written out, just don't be a complete doofus." she patted her hoof on my leg. "Now you," she turned to Coco. "Let's get you ready with Pressed." she dragged her off down the hall. I stayed in the hall, contemplating what exactly this meant. I was either being trusted with something amazing, or they didn't give a crap, and with her it was impossible to tell the difference. I decided it was best to just find out. I was ready to find a new job if this didn't work out. I hurried to the last floor and met a pony at the door of the booth. "Ethan, great. Here put this on." my old boss, a mare that ran most of the sound in the booth, handed me a large headset. I pulled the headset on and checked the connection. "Chan-" "I got it Wave, I've done it enough times before." I switched it to the proper channels and tested it. "One one, one two." A women popped her head out of the tech booth and gave a thumbs up. Wave gave a determined nod and handed me a piece of paper. "Give that a quick read and get in there, you got this!" I looked the paper over and moved into the booth. I found a seat near the far wall and started reading. This was an interview with an Afghan war vet! They were trusting me to conduct an interview with a veteran, and a non-American veteran at that! My heart started racing as I read the interview. This wasn't just a veteran, this was the second man in Equestria! A voice broke my concentration, making me jump in my chair. "He's coming." I tried to calm down as the door swung open. A brutish looking man with grey hair walked in, quickly taking the seat across from me. "Hello...." he boomed, his voice capable of knocking down a brick wall. "Alright, everything ready? On in three...two...one!" I paused for a horrifying moment before reading the note. "Hello ladies and- gentlemen, mares and stallions. Today we have a very special guest, Sergent Dima Turov." Dima leaned back in the chair. "Hello." I looked back at the paper. "Now Dima, it says here that you've proposed the establishment of a new quarter in Canterlot. One to accommodate the large influx of Russian immigrants. Can I ask why?" Dima leaned back in his chair. "When I hear about this land, I hear of land of peace, land of freedom. I have been through hell my entire life. When I hear the prospect of a land free of the turmoil that has racked my country, I would have been a fool to decline." "I understand that but what you're proposing is a full square mile dedicated to the recent arrivals." Dima leaned forward in his chair. "I ask for only what is necessary. Many from my home come to seek peace. We are not asking to be separated or left alone, we only wish to know that when we arrive that we will be accommodated." Dima adjusted his headset. "I have spoken with the Royals and arranged for many Russian veterans to immigrate, those who have served their countries only to be left to the dogs!" "Your project would cost an in-" "Damn the money! The men who have accepted the invitation have been through too much to worry about money! Many from the wars are still able, willing to work, and tired of the constant disrespect from the youth! I will build the district myself, with my two bare hands if it is required!" My mouth went dry as he spoke. "How many are coming?" Dima let out a long breath. "Over three hundred including families. Many are Chechen war veterans, but all have served Russia in one way or another. We are not asking for charity, we are asking for hospitality." I nodded a few times. "But this is all temporary?" Dima calmly leaned back. "As I have said, we are looking for hospitality. In time we will disperse, find our places, build lives away from one another, but these things take time. We simply need a starting point, that is what I ask for, that is what we need." "Thank you Sergent Turov. Any parting words?" Dima shook his head. "Even if our proposal is denied, we will find a way." I swallowed hard. "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, this has been Sergent Dima Turov. Stay tuned." A loud bell rang out. "Clear!" I let out a long breath as I stood up. I feel woozy as I walked towards the door. "Eh...where are you going?" Dima grabbed my shoulder. He spun me around and stuck his hand out, nearly punching me in the gut. "I thank you for play...how you say, devil's advocate?" I met his hand, his grip nearly breaking my fingers as he gave a single shake. "Sure...any time." "Greg!" the producer charged in. "I swear I give you one thing to do and you do it! Good job." her tone was nearly schizophrenic, going from angry to happy in moments. "I mean, it wasn't great. You don't want to say, it says here, but you did good for your first time." I stared angrily at her. "My name...is not...Greg." "Really!? You should have said something, Phil." I shook my head. "Terry?" again no, "James? Okay then fine, you tell me!" I grabbed the producer and started shaking her. "My name's Ethan, Ethan M. Arroyo! It's very simple." "Who there buddy, calm down. Fine, Ethan Ethan Ethan. There, you're Ethan now." she wiggled out of my grip. "Now come with me, we need to draw up a contract." She dragged me out of the booth as Coco and Pressed were getting seated. Something felt wrong, why were they the only two going in there? I found myself sat across from the producer as she slid a piece of paper to me. "Just sign there, there, and there." she jabbed her hoof on the paper. "Good...good." she tore the paper away from me. "Starting, thirty thousand bits a year okay? Naw you did good...and I like your mustache. Forty thousand." I rubbed my upper lip. I think my poor shaving habits just earned me an extra ten grand a year. The producer smiled wide. "Great, now on to other business. Be at Copperhead's at nine on Friday. Wear something nice." "Wait what-" "My name's Marigold and I'm looking forward to the date.Now get out...." her voice deadpanned at the end. I just sat there stunned. Marigold jumped off her chair and started pushing, not just me, but the entire chair I was sitting in into the hall. "Remember, Copperhead's at nine on Friday. Thanks...byeeee...." she slowly wiggled her way back into her office. I just leaned back in the chair and tried to collect myself. "I...what? I don't...how did she do that?" I stood up and started walking to the break room. "How the fuck did she do that?" I was caught half way there. Marigold's voice snapping me back to her strange little world. "By the way, that mare from before is gonna need a place to stay again, that okay with you? Great, thanks Paul." I broke, something in my brain shattered. I walked slowly towards her office. I walked in, found a crystal paperweight, opened the nearest window, and chucked it into the street. I turned to Marigold, her face one of utter confusion. "My name...is...Ethan." "Fine geez, sorry Leo-" I leaned in and stared her down. "Whoa...okay...okay...Ethan.... Save it for the bedroom." If ever a time the sound of a guitar string breaking was appropriate it was now. "I'm not going on a date with you, we're never going to have sex, you're insane." She started laughing. "Yes you are, probably not, and yes I am. Just show up okay I promise you it'll be worth it." "Why, why should I trust someone that can't even learn my name!?" Marigold went behind her desk, slamming the tabletop and staring at me. "Ethan, I like your mustache. Now show up, dress well, and get ready for a good night." I contemplated jumping out the window. I tired to make a rebuttal, but anything I could have said would have been immediatly ruined. I walked out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the studio. Three hour work days were the best days. I sat at home watching TV. Some terrible pony version of wipe-out. I watched as some overweight mare got knocked into the mud. "Ohhh...she should not be wearing those tights." A knock came from my front door. I left my stupid show and answered it. Coco was standing with a worried look on her face. "She said-" I held the door open. "I know." she watched the floor and stepped inside. "So how was it?" Coco walked in and sat in the middle of the floor. "She said I work there now." "What!?" I jumped upright and ran over. "Seriously!?" She nodded with a worried grimace on her face. "Pressed was mad, but then she said something about bits, and said it was fine. She said. Oh I love your voice, ponies will love you! Then she asked me out...." I realized then and there what she was planning, or at least part of it. I decided to play her little game and feigned ignorance. "Well...you do have the voice for radio." She frowned hard. "But I like sewing...." I thought about it. "There's a fabric store in town. I'll take you some time." She shook her head. "It's not the same...but thanks. It does sound fun...." I shrugged. "Don't worry about it now." I looked over to the TV. "I'm sure things will work out...maybe...probably." I scooped her up and plopped her on carried her into my room. I plopped her down onto the bed and gave her the remote. "Channel seven." She fumbled with the remote but eventually got it turned on. I was immediately exposed to a horribly caddy show where mares and fem stallions argued about dresses. Coco seemed either appalled or rapt, so I simply walked out. I plopped down on the sofa and spent the rest of the night watching stupid shows.
FridayI sat waiting in the studio for my new segment. Apparently I was supposed to spend the next hour talking with a few guests. They never gave me a script, or any idea of who I would be talking to. They just told me to sit down and get ready. And for what good it did, I was ready. My foot was beating the short carpet like mad, my hands tensing and untensing along the arm of my chair, and still I forced myself to be ready. I could feel my asshole clench as the door opened, the loud click nearly shooting me through the roof. "Um...is this the right room?" Coco asked, sneaking her hoof around the door and peaking in. "Oh...hi. I guess it is." She walked into the center of the room, tiptoeing slowly and taking stock of the room. "This is nice, very qui--" Marigold pushed the doors open with one swift shove. "Alright, Ben, get ready! Marshmallow, go take a seat!" She yelled, not only screwing up my name, but Coco's as well. "Cody get us miked up--" The intercom buzzed to life, "Marigold...you fired Cody." marigold stopped dead in the center of the room. "Well hire him back! Either way we need microphones, now!" She trotted over, swinging her head left and right. "Neo, go ahead, take a seat closer to Blueberry." I felt my hands curl up into a pair of claws. "Marigold...I swear to god, if you don't get my name right, someone is going to die!" She just scoffed, turning to Coco and pulling her from her seat. "Oh calm down Terry, it's not a big deal. I got you that date didn't I?" I made a strange, angry noise, something between a growl and a scream of rage. "Swear to all the gods, Islam, Christ, Jehovah, I'm going to stab you in the brain with a fork!" Marigold shot her hooves up, letting them go slack at the joint and waving them at me. "Ooooh, mister tough guy, gonna stab a mare with a fork, oooo. You know Vince you're--" "In the brain!" I shouted, leaning forward in my seat, "Work you like a finger puppet after that!" Marigold swished her tail around like mad. "Work me like a finger puppet, eh? Save it for later, we've got a show to do." Her tone was low, sultry, and of so aggravating. I leaned over my seat, looking towards Coco who'd been planted on a couch next to me. "Coco...if I get up, I need you to either get me out of here or knock me out, because if she keeps this up someone is going-out-a-fucking-window!" I hissed, my eyes popping open as I hissed and snarled. "I can't take it anymore!" Coco just nodded, leaning back in her seat. "Um...okay, if it makes you--" A unicorn with a few black earpieces hurried in. Marigold flew in behind him. "Yeah just set up Minty and Tom--" "I'm gonna break your wings!" I shouted, fingernails digging into the seat. "It's not a hard name to remember! If it was Abdula San Jaquelin Shlitter I'd understand, but it's not--" I was cut off as the unicorn snapped a microphone to my collar. "Let it go...just let it go man." Coco snickered softly, "What's a Shlitter?" Her laugh damped my rage, her peaceful tone and appearance doing wonders to keep me from murdering the flamboyant mass of forgetful pony. "Uh...it's like...Swedish or something, I don't know." I leaned back, tugging the microphone and fitting the earpiece into place. "But seriously...you remember my name right?" "Ethan?" Coco asked, tilting her head softly. Even if she was wrong it was a sincerity that I just couldn't get mad at. "It's Ethan, right?" I took a deep breath and leaned back. "You're staying in my house, using my electricity, least you could do is learn it well." Coco sank back into her seat. "Sorry...I just--" "It's a joke. And you've got it memorized better in a day that she does in...three...god damn...months." I churdled, mouthing obsenity at Marigold as she found a seat across from me. "Fucking bitch...it's Ethan...just get it right for once--" "Mark shut up." "Shallow grave!" "I'll shallow your grave!" She shot back, leaning forward, "I'll shallow all over your grave, I'll fucking shallow it so non-deeply that you'll never get buried, now shut up Ethan!" Marigold screamed, her hooves slipping off her chair. "Celestia damn, you bitch so much just cause I can't remember your generic face!" I grabbed the edges of my mustache, pulling so hard I ripped out a few hairs and made the room jump. "Come here!" I ran out of my seat, pushing the unicorn into the wall and grabbing Marigold's goldenbrown forelegs. "Out the window!" I shifted my hands down, holding her belly and waddling over towards the window. "Someone open this fucking thing!" "Do it! I dare you, do it!" Marigold shouted, causing my brain to do a double take. If I threw her, she won, if I didn't, I was a bitch. I found myself caught between two equally horrific options. "You're a pu--" "Shut up!" Coco screamed, causing the unicorn with the microphones to jump upright in a flash. "Sit down, both of you!" I snapped around, pivoting on my heel and tossing Marigold to the ground. She landed sloppily, her hooves barely gripping the carpet. "See I knew you--" Coco glared at us, burning a pinprick hole through Marigold's forehead. "Sit...down." She hissed, finally showing the bite I would expect from someone like her. The bite I had, the bite of an overworked, underpaid, under appreciated person. I took two long steps, lunging into my seat before she could continue to spit venom. "Thank you...." She rubbed her throat as Marigold mumbled and groaned back towards her chair. "...Did I yell? I didn't mean to yell." Coco said into her hoof, "Sorry." I sank into my chair, letting out a deep sigh as things went back to normal. We were set up, the radio was turned off and we were ready. Marigold waved at me and Coco. "So...this is basically a morning show, just relax, have fun and try not to stutter." "How about fuck you?" I asked, covering my mic, "How about get my name right?!" A loud buzzer cut me off, followed by a sharp nasally voice from the intercom. "You're live." Marigold snapped to it, "Hello Baltimare, ladies and gentlecolts, and you other provincials, welcome to the inaugural episode of Radio Baltimare's morning hour." For all my gripes with her, her radio manners were excellent. Her voice was strong, her posture straight even while behind the mic. "We're gonna keep things short today, and just get to introductions. I'm Marigold, your host and the best pony around. With me today are, ...Oma--" "Hi I'm Ethan arroyo, token human I suppose...." I muttered, only half committed to the show. I turned to face Coco, watching as she played with her collar. Eventually I caught her attention, causing her to pop upright. "Oh, and I'm Coco Pommel...." She spoke softly, fidgeting and squirming in her chair. "I make clothes...not really sure why I'm--" Marigold tapped her hooves on the chair. "I brought Coco in all the way from Manehattan, just to have someone to keep us dressed nicely and to be the wonderfully squishy ball of love we need on air." "...I'm not...squishy...." Coco mumbled, grinding her hooves together. I stretched out, "All the way? Manehattan is like...half an hour away, just take the bullet train...." "Ethan shut--" "No, it's too early for your crap!" I leaned forward, nearly spewing bile with my words, but still not crossing the line. "And it's amazing to me how well you remember my name on air! Now I'm important? Not when I was working for you, plugging in cables like mad or getting coffee. No, suddenly I'm important and you're sitting here, without coffee I might add--" I looked up, spotting the ponies in the control booth exploding. Hooves were waving around like mad, a guy in a hat was slamming his palms against the glass, everything was melting down in there. "supposed to act like it's completely normal! You want a morning show, here's your morning show!" I flopped back down, crossing my arms and staring mockingly at the booth. "Yeah...like that!?" I watched the control room, ponies sprinting about and screaming. But beyond the chaos, a single mare was staring at a low screen, hooves pressed hard against her desk. A human leaned over, mouthing something vulgar and shooting his head back. He snapped his head up to me, rolling his hands as the mare scribbled something, and in a flash a sign met the glass. More. I took a deep breath, venting was good, and they were literally asking for more. "Chubby little, how are you chubby!? You're a pegasus, how are you not the leanest flighty little bint alive!?" Marigold scoffed, poking her plump belly. "Ow, I- ow! Tsss," she hissed, cringing and leaning forward. "Aren't you just the meanest things- should I ask about your skinny ass? Bone little weirdo, I mean you're human too! Great representative for your race--" "Bitch, I'm the god damn best! You're the one who can't remember our names! What did you call me, Mark, Joe, that's fucking racist as shit!" I shouted, leaning across Coco and getting a bit riled up. "That's like me calling you Sea-biscuit!" I snapped toward Coco, "Coco, you wanna go get hammered?!" Coco popped upright, looking towards Marigold. "Um...it's a little--" Marigold was smiling wide at the control room, "You can't leave! We got a show you punks!" Her voice was directly opposite of her expression, she was ecstatic, and whatever was going on with our listeners must have been crazy. "Get back here damn it!" I reached over to Coco, "Come on, let's go." I tore her mic of, tossing it to the ground in as loud a fashion as possible. "Come on, I'll buy you a drink!" I turned around, spotting the ponies in the control room huddled around a single screen, a pair of them hugging and screaming at the top of their lungs. I hurried to the door, holding it open as Coco finally caught on and trotted slowly over. "Um...I guess- Whiskey?" She asked, brushing past my leg. I pulled my mic off, holding it near the door and giving it a sharp slam. I waited for a few seconds, smiling down at Coco and getting a warm smile back. "Woo!" A sharp scream came from the control room, a pony running out and slamming themselves against the wall. "We beat Manehattan Post! Buck yeah!" Another mare bolted out of the control room. "Oh gods, ponies loved it! They loved it! Screw you Manehattan, screw you!" The pair of ponies reared up, slamming their hooves together and letting out a mighty clop. I turned to Coco, scooping her up and throwing her over my shoulder. "Oh god that felt good!" I scratched her back, causing her to twitch and stretch as I dug my fingers into her coat. "Come on...got a date, but screw that, let's--" "W-ait- you too?" Coco asked, accidentally popping her muzzle against the back of my head. "...Sorry." "It's good." I turned my hand, getting a better surface area of scratchage. "What's up?" Coco coughed roughly. "...I think your boss set us up...." I stopped dead, "Copperhead's?" Coco let out a short huff. "Copperhead's." I stared out into space. "...Hey, you wanna go get hammered?" "I can't--" I carried Coco down the hall, ponies pouring out of the control room. "I'll pay...hell...make it a double."
DrunkI held the door to a small pub open for Coco. "Ladies first." I joked, waiting for Coco to pass. She lowered her head, growing a bit pink before heading past me and into the bar. I snickered as the beige mare strolled past. "You blush like you're thinking something dirty." Coco spun around, walking backwards through the bar. "No, I'm just...colts don't usually open doors for me, and when they do I blush...." She carefully swung herself around a passing griffon. "Am I still?" I smiled, waving my hand across my face. "No, now come on, what you want?" I escorted the short mare over to the counter, helping her up onto a stool. "I'll buy, so what would ya like?" I asked as nicely as I could. "Gotta let a guy buy a pretty girl a drink, rig--" "Scotch, double, no ice." She stated rapidly, ducking her head down afterwards. "...Or something sweet if you feel weird about it." She mumbled her last words, looking down at her hooves dangling off the stool. "Someponies get weird when I tell them what I drink." I coughed softly, "No, I get it. Just wasn't expecting something so heavy." I looked around the pub, spotting a clover sitting above the bar. I noticed the pony managing the place was wearing a bright green beret. "Oh geez...taking the Irish a little too far, but it gives me an idea." I flagged down the bartender, the bustling pub happily noisy. "Oi, Guinness?" I yelled, watching the green hatted colt barge past a few others and over to me. The surly stud leaned against the counter. "No, ain't got it. Got our own, straight from Fetlock." His voice was painfully celtic, his stocky body and gangly hair truly selling it. "For the both of you?" I shook my head. "Uh, you got like.... Baileys?" The stallion cocked an eyebrow. "Ya want the liqueur or the beer?" I tapped my fingers on the oak counter. "Both? Beer for me, liqueur's for the mare." I nudged Coco, causing her to gasp and nearly fall off her seat. "...Jesus Coco." "Sorry!" She yelped, fixing herself back onto the seat. "Sorry." The stallion rolled his eyes. "You can afford this, right?" I grabbed my wallet, "Give me an estima-- oh," I found a few hundred bit coins in my pocket, just hanging free. "I keep thinking these are quarters. Yeah, I got it." I turned to Coco as the Ire pony walked off. "Sorry, it's a nice middle ground between getting fucked up and good flavor. Not that I drink it much...." Coco smiled at me, kicking her back legs softly. "It's fine. A double would have been a bit much anyways." She looked down at the bar, refusing to make eye contact. "So, am I supposed to be moving out here? I kinda just got told I'm working here, and dropped to figure things out on my own." I shrugged. "I have no idea. Marigold is terrible about that kind of stuff. But hey, if you wanted to move out here there's room under my house!" I looked around the pub, it was strangely skewed towards griffons and humans. "I mean, the guy who was living in the apartment under me was about to move out. It's not glamorous, but the landlord is nice and generally doesn't mind if I go all home improvement on the place." Coco took a deep breath. "I don't know. I could commute." She placed her forelegs on the bar, leaning against her hooves. "I guess it would get me farther from Suri, farther from all those...." She turned her head sharply, laying on her cheek and staring at me. "My bosses were terrible. Are, terrible." I let out a long sigh as a pint glass found its way into my hands. "Marigold isn't actually that bad. She's rude and obnoxious sure, but she treats us alright pay wise. Just a little, arbitrary?" I asked myself, unsure of the wording. "I think that's the right word. Either way she's just a little rude, not actually that terrible." I pulled my glass in front of me, gripping it with both hands. "If she could get my fucking name right...I'd be fine...." I growled into my beer, dipping my nose into it before pouring it back. It tasted strong, the flavor burning my tongue ever so slightly. "Whoa...that's, this doesn't taste like beer." I held up the glass, looking into the dark brew. "Taste good, but damn." Coco tapped her hooves together. "Fetlock breweries are kinda famous, if you're a drinker I mean." She rubbed her hooves together, nervously looking up at me from under her brow. "So...she's not bad?" I scratched my ear. "No, just rude. But you said you were a dressmaker?" Coco took a sigh of relief. "I did. I still am. To be perfectly honest I don't know why I'm here, I don't even like the radio that much." I scoffed. "It's work. I was just running drinks and plugging in cords before now. Anyways, I know a few fabric shops, and I picked up an old sewing machine someone was going to throw away, I was going to take the parts out and build something, but if you want it, it's yours." Coco smiled at me, a warm, toothy smile. "Thanks, I'd lo-- ah!" She jumped out of her skin as a heavy glass met the counter in front of her. "Oh...that was a bit rude." I watched the large stallion plod off after unceremoniously dumping her drink before her. "A little. I get the feeling it's expected in here." I looked around the obvious worker's pub. "So, you're from Manehattan?" Coco was half stuck into her glass. "Hmm? Oh, no actually. I was from Ponyville before Manehattan. I just moved their because I thought it would be easier to work." She downed her drink, locking up for a few moments before shivering violently. "Oh- mm, that's new...." I looked around the bar, three pint glasses and two new shorter ones were strewn about. "...Have I been-" I looked down at my own glass, finding it empty. "-this whole time...." Coco was slowly downing another drink. "Warm," she cooed, body shaking as she set the drink down. "Did I tell you about Suri? Suri was...is, whatever, a bitch." I cocked my head. "Whatever a bitch?" Coco steadied herself on the counter. "She was just, worst pony, worst everything. She was crap on a bolt of fabric- no! Crap in a bolt of fabric, then rolled up so it smeared everywhere!" The bartender walked by, dropping off another drink for Coco. I started to reach for it. "I think you--" Coco's hooves beat me to it. "I just wanted to sew! I wanted to make pretty clothes, dresses, shirts, pants! I wanted to make ponies pretty! And she just, she just dumped all over me!" She slammed her drink, nearly tossing the glass to the floor. "All over my face, my work, everything, just, Pfffff! Everywhere!" I made a big X with my arms, sliding a few coins to the edge of the table. "No more," I whispered, already starting to feel a bit black and soggy. "So...dressing, you like humans?" Coco turned to me, her nose bright red. "I...love...humans. They are so good at clothes, they can actually do buttons!" She lifted her hooves, leaning against the counter to keep from falling over. "All these things can do is poke and push, no grab!" I looked down at my hands. "You could change you know. They have potions or spells and--" "No!" Coco shouted, shaking her head hard, her ears slapping against my shoulder as she leaned towards me. "No...I don't want those chest things." She wrapped a hoof around my arm, "Too big, I don't like them!" I felt myself start to get excited, "Yeah...more of an ass man myself." I dug my finger against my collar. "Anyways, we should probably get home. I wasn't paying attention and I think we kinda lost track of time." Coco stayed latched onto my arm. "Not yet." She turned, locking herself around my arm. "You're so warm...." I shook my head, sliding off the stool. "Coco-" "What?" "Coco-" "What!?" "Coco...you're drunk." I stated, clutching my head as the dizziness overtook me. "Oh god...so am I." I held onto Coco, the two of us balancing on each other like a tent. "Do you remember how we got here?" Coco was laughing loudly, "That tasted so good. I love you, person human. E, e something." She buried her face against my shoulder, "Is it safe to nap, I just...a little nap." I watched the crowd snicker and laugh at us. "Uh, maybe?" I looked to the bar. "Hey, you know any cab com--" "Hey Taylor!" A sharp, perky voice sounded off. "You missed our date." "Aw shit...." $()$ My alarm slowly went off, the loud buzz giving me a huge headache. "Oh god, turn it off." I slapped my hand around, eventually hitting the snooze. I laid there, face down on my bed, feeling like a cracked egg on the sidewalk. "I didn't drink enough to feel this bad." I tried to push up, something hard causing my heart to jump. "Uh!?" I yanked the covers up, finding Coco curled up against my ribs. "Oh...huh, I'm...." I leaned against my right arm, looking at Coco sitting under my left. "I'm alright with this." "Mmm, so am I." A soft, but still painfully happy voice shattered my hope. "So...took your name," Marigold pressed her chubby self against my back, hooves wrapping around my waist and landing on my groin. "Are you still Ethan?" "Oooooh my god noooooooo--"
PancakesI waited at my door, head leant against the hardwood, plates in my hands, scrapes and rashes on my skin. “God…why have you punished me so?” I asked the knocker, my ass catching a cold draft from below. My neighbor looked up from below. “I get why humans don’t wear skirts now.” He snickered in that strange griffon way, very shrill and always on the verge of bursting out into an eagle’s roar. Like he was constantly inhaling as he laughed. I did my best to ignore him, banging my head against the door and waiting for someone to push it open. And before long, Marigold appeared in the doorway, forcing herself upright against the door frame. Her doughy belly and wide hips painfully human when stood on two hooves. “Hi there….” She cooed, her words dripping as they rolled off her tongue. “For me?” I walked past her, ignoring the loud clop as she dropped down to four hooves again. “I brought…food.” My words were broken, my spirit shattered like a broken window pane. “Where’s…Coco?” Marigold wiggled her way between my legs, her tail brushing my undercarriage as she moved. “Sleeping, dear. You really worked us hard last night, but I’m usually pretty, energetic.” She fluttered her eyelashes, sending shivers through my pecs. “Gotta say, she’s got a really tight stomach.” I walked into my kitchen nook, setting the plates down on the counter. “Oh god…what the fuck did I do?” I asked myself, genuinely worried about my mental health. Marigold followed me, rubbing my upper ribs with her cheek. “Two mares big boy,” She bit my skin, trying to get at my nipple. “Two mares, belly to belly, pussy against pussy. You just went mare to mare, like an animal.” She wrapped a hoof around my chest, standing upright and nearly matching my height. She leaned her mouth towards my jaw. “Like an animal.” She licked my jawline, breathing hard past my chin, nearly panting. “And we took it, I took it all, just like the good little bitch I am. Like the good, horny little mare I am.” She bit my neck, licking my skin. She started sucking at it, pulling my tender neck flesh with her lips. She let off with a pop, her hoof tracing up and down my chest. “I left a mark….” I slumped forward, leaning against the counter with my torso and crumbling to my knees. I didn't say a word, I simply collapsed against the counter. I slowly let myself down, laying across the kitchen floor and curling up. Marigold stepped back, watching me as I went into the fetal position. "Hey, Ivan, you alright?" I tucked up as tight as I could. "... Just eat the fucking food!" I screamed, eyes straight ahead at a set of cabinets. "Eat the god damn food and leave me alone!" Marigold laid down next to me. "Ben, there's only one way you're going to get me to be quiet. Either a ball gag and a hard spanking, or you're gonna have to stuff that big sweaty cock in my mouth. Just...jamming that thick meaty dick," she bristled, shaking slightly with a blush across her face, "right down my throat." She lowered her head, hiding behind her thick mane. "Oh Celestia, I want to be your cock sock right now." She rolled onto her back, smiling lewdly. She made a kissing motion at me. "Come on...abuse me, I'm yours, just promise to cum inside and mark me like some dirty slut." My cock was trying to explode out of my towel. "...What the fuck?" I whimpered, staring through Marigold's head. Marigold smiled. "Heat, and you're cute." She rolled onto her belly. "Hey...we're together right, can I tell you a secret?" "Can never be undone!" I screamed, rocking back and forth on the floor. "Never!" "I ship my employees." She whispered, crawling towards me. "I did it back in Prance, in Manehattan, in Canterlot. I've paired off seventy of my workers, you're the third one I've been involved with. Honestly...I think I'll stick around for this one." She smiled at me, wide as could be. "Coco and you'd make a good herd." She wiggled her way towards me. "But let me tell you something, I'm the mare." She stared at me, eyes sharp, "I get what I want, you and her...you're the herd, I'm the bucking shepherd." She hopped upright. "Now we're going to keep working, we're going to let this work out." she stretched her wings. "Now wrap one of these things around yourself, I'm going to eat if off you." I felt a pancake slap my ankle. "... Ethan, have you been listening?" I just shook my head. "You're a fucking crazy person." Marigold shrugged. "Trust me, stick around, I'm not that bad. Just a little hungry right now." Her hooves seemed to be constantly tapping on the floor. "But really, I do like you, and I'd like to make this a thing. But right now, I need dick--" "Why did you involve Coco in this!?" I screamed, actually looking up at her. "She doesn't deserve this!" Marigold stared at me. "Have you seen that mare? She is adorable, and I'm not letting somepony take advantage of her." I felt my face twist into pure rage. "Bitch, you're taking advantage of her!" Marigold held her hoof out, looking off to the side dismissively. "Yeah, but I'm safe about it. Now...if you really want to leave, just tell me. I'll leave you alone, pay for you to go to some other city, but I'd appreciate if you gave me a chance." "I woke up in bed with you!" I screamed, "How--" "I meant outside of me playing with you." Marigold pulled the plate down from the counter. "The radio show, the name thing, come on...are you--" "That's not flirty! It's fucking rude!" I shouted, sitting upright. "You're bad at flirting!" Marigold popped up nose to nose with me. "Ethan...this isn't me being flirty. Do you want me to be flirty?" She asked honestly. "I was playing...riling you up, getting you and Coco together was easy, just get you both mad at me, now we're here. Now you're going to tell me what you want, and be clear." I leaned back, terrified at the gold orange mare before me. "You're terrifying." "Depends on the day." She stated. "Now, do you want this to be a thing? I'm inviting you...." I bit my lip hard, my brow slowly falling flat. "You're going to get my name right, and you're going to back the hell up!" I stood up, finally letting the rage build in my heart instead of my head. "If you want a relationship, you're going to step the fuck back, and do it like a normal person! What happened last night, you don't tell Coco, you don't tell anyone, and you pretend it never happened. Got it?!" Marigold smiled at me, pressing her nose against my own. "It makes me wet when you're like this." She wiggled her nose against mine. "Fine, I'll play your little game. Now, we need an actual date. Show up to my office tomorrow, we'll work things out." I grumbled hazily as Marigold turned to the door. "God...you're a psycho--" She snapped around in the doorway. "Then tell me to leave, tell me to leave and never come back." Things went silent, leaving me standing off with the chubby mare. "That's what I thought," Marigold flicked her tail, "I'm glad you're not a completely stubborn stallion." I couldn't help but feel something for her, even if only sexual it was enough for the lower parts of my brain to shut me up. "Just go...take the pancakes." I grabbed a plate, walking over to her in a huff. "I'll take care of Coco, just...leave right now." Marigold took the plate. "I know you'll take care of her, that's why I want you for my herd." She smiled, "Now think about it." She whipped herself around, smacking my groin with her tail. "It's bigger than most humans I've seen." She stated, smiling back at me. "And thanks for the food. ... Harold." She snickered as she walked off. A loud creak came from the other room. "Ethan?" Coco's voice broke the silence. "What happened?" I turned to her, holding my arms out before slapping them against my side. "Uh...we had sex.... Stupid, drunk, sex. I'm really sorry." Coco looked down at her hooves. "Oh...uh.... So am I." She turned away. "I drank too much, didn't I?" I shook my head. "No, it's my fault--" "No, really, it was mine--" I cut Coco off mid thought. "Uh...pancakes?" I offered up a plate, "If you want I can like...help you figure out another place to stay." Coco grew a bit pink. "Um...I thought I was going to move in down stairs." She walked over, taking the plate from me. "Thank you...." I stuffed my hands under the towel. "Well I didn't think you'd want to live that close to me...after...this." I waggled my hand towards the bedroom. "Just kind of weird." Coco turned to the door, her ears falling flat as she took on a blush. "Um, it's not that bad. I mean, it's really my faul--" "Did you need help moving?" I asked, trying to avoid us falling into an apologize roulette again. "I could find some time." Coco looked up at me, smiling softly. "That would be nice, thank you." I frowned hard. "Don't thank me...." I turned to the door, thinking of Marigold. "Really, don't thank me." Coco coughed softly. "...Too late." I felt my heart warm up, a smile dragging softly across my face.
Meetings"So...I'm taking Coco to a fabric store." "Oh? That sounds nice...are you inviting me?" I stared at Marigold's plot, her ass pushed up onto her desk while she stood on her forelegs. "...Can you not do that?" Marigold laughed from her place under the desk. "What? You said you want me to be flirty." "Not flirting, this is presenting!" I shouted, leaning back against her office wall. "Now you want to stop that?" Marigold flipped her tail up, showing me a squishy wet slit flicking open and closed before me. "No, this is presenting! You can tell by the tail." She laughed, slowly sliding her bum off the desk. She got back onto four legs, quickly switching up and sitting back in her chair like a normal pony. "And sorry, but I can't." I cocked my head. "Uh...didn't you--" "Someone has to run the radio." She stated, "Though, if you want to hang dong and let me have something tasty for a bit, I won't complain." I took a deep breath. "Why? I mean honestly, do you not own a dil--" "Come over to my house after you're done with Coco. Alone." Marigold ducked down, under her desk. "Here, take a seat while I find it." I watched Marigold's tail wiggle around the top of the desk. "No...this is some thinly veiled attempt to get at my crotch." Marigold popped over the desk. "And? You didn't actually shower since we fucked--" "Can you not be so vulgar!?" I shouted, storming up to the desk. "Seriously, if you want to talk about taking dick so deep inside you that you choke, be my guest, but keep Coco out of this!" I slammed the desk, causing everything to jump. "Look at me when I'm--" "Boop." Marigold reached a hoof out from under her desk, poking my shoe with the point of her hoof. She pulled back, not unlike a cat. "Still mad?" I stared at the tail sitting where her head once did. "... So this is you being flirty?" "This is me being cute flirty. Did you want me to be direct flirty? I could bend over my desk if you want." Marigold looked out from under her desk. "Now are you going to take a seat and get that belt off, or what?" I rubbed my face, staring down at the mare at my feet. "Really?" "I like the feeling of sucking on stuff. It's like a big safe place for me. Now barring any sudden carrots or a pacifier, you're the next best thing." She placed her hooves on my feet. "Now sit down?" I grumbled angrily. "What happened to taking it slow?" Marigold stared up at me, yellow eyes burning into my brain. "That's between all of us. You and I, well...you, are the plaything." She smiled up at me. "This is my herd, not yours. If you want to take Coco and I, lead yourself, then do it. But I've watched you since you applied, and you don't seem like that kind of guy." She crawled back under the desk. "Like I said, come to my house later today, we'll actually sit down and talk." She popped up on her side of the desk. "Until then, I'd like to suckle, now are you gonna be a good stallion and tend to your herd, or are you gonna complain and whine about a pretty mare asking you to present?" I took a deep breath. "Can we talk about Coco first?" "If you'll sit down, sure. I'll lay my head against your lap like a good pony." She leaned against the desk, matching my height. "...So am I tall, or are you short?" I shook my head and walked around the desk. "You're chubby." "More to squeeze." She stated, plopping down and waiting for me to sit. "And what did you want to talk about?" She reared up, plopping her upper half into my lap while sitting on my toes. "She's cute, right?" I leaned back, putting my hand on the back of Marigold's head out of instinct. She laid down, chin on my lap. "She is." Marigold's hooves laid gently against me. "I know, that's why I paired you two." She flattened her ears, letting me pet her head unobstructed. "She was working for some crappy theatre company. You could tell she hated it, that small frown she wore was a dead give away." I looked down at the mare in my lap. "And you brought her to a radio station?" Marigold nodded. "I couldn't leave her there. Besides, I'd figured she'd find a way to clothes make...whatev--" "Tailor?" "Yeah that." Marigold dug her hooves into my groin. "Smells nice, kinda like a hoof after a good rubbing." I shivered softly. "Maybe focus?" Marigold looked up at me. "Your boner says otherwise--" "Coco!" I shouted, pulling her ear. "Why'd you bring her into this?" Marigold sighed loudly. "Like I said, I pair my employees. You two, you two were just so cute. You were both drunk, and she was falling over you. Even if it's just a crush, I couldn't miss out." She buried her muzzle into my groin. "I'd like a herd, I used to be in herds back in Canterlot. It's always one stallion though, and they're always in charge. I don't like that, I mean sure, I like being the little spoon, and taking it in my tender little holes like the bad filly I am, but I like being in charge of stuff too." I continued to pet Marigold's head, her slightly wavy mane nice against my fingers. "But why'd you put her in the show? I get it, it's like a morning show--" "To get you two together." She stated. "If I was the worst boss I could be, of course you two would have something in common. I threw you both in a room with me, somepony would leave, and take the other with them." She nuzzled my lap. "I'm good at what I do." I felt her tug my belt open. "But she doesn't know about the radio. I barely know about the--" "You've got to be a personality." She stated. "And I've got a few other ideas for shows. We'll talk about it at actual dinner." I felt myself pull free of my painfully tight confines. "So I'm an act-or now?" I asked, my voice clenching as Marigold breathed past my tip. "I have no idea--" Marigold held my tip between her teeth, her warm breath tingling down my cock. "Just talk." She flicked her tongue against my tip. "That's all. You go help Coco with her dress thing, but you two come in and do the show every Wednesday." She kissed my tip, leaned back and causing me to shudder. "Hold my head down, okay?" I kept my hand pressed against the back of her skull as she teased me, causing a dull ache to gather around my cocktip. "This really isn't the--" I stopped dead, my body tightening up as she suckled at my tip, soft lips combined with the constant pulsing suction caused my leg to shoot out. "Fuck balls...." Marigold pulled back. "Ethan, remind me to tell you about Canterlot later. I have some ideas, and I think Coco could help." She pressed her nose agaisnt my rod. "Now don't cum, and pet my head...I need this before I go on." I leaned back, closing my eyes as Marigold pushed down, taking my into her mouth and no further. She wasn't joking, this wasn't about me, she was lost in her comfort zone. All I could do is hold on as the mare pressed my against the inside of her cheek, slobbering on me as I stroked her mane, still keeping her down ever so slightly. I thought to Coco, wondering how horrid she would take the betrayal. Marigold let out a soft coo, slowly pulling back with a smooth draw. She let off with a small whimper, leaning back and pushing off my lap. "Hmm.... I'm alright." She stepped off me, leaving me pent up and ready to go. "Thanks Ethan...I'll pick you up later...." She wandered off, slowly closing the door behind her. I just sat there, heaving in her chair. "God damn- wait, pick me up!?"
To Build A Skirt From Scratch..."I don't know, this is nice." I mumbled, walking down the isle and brushing my hand along some nice cotton rolls. "What were you trying to make again?" Coco lingered around the isles, slowly scanning each one. "Um, what did you want?" I looked over the isle, just tall enough to see her over the fabrics. "Oh no, I don't need anything." Coco looked down to the fabrics. "Then I'm paying." She stated, "It's fine really, I can afford it alright." I shook my head. "No, you're new in town. It's my treat, alright?" Coco leaned against the shelves, propped herself upright. "Well then let me make you something." She grew ever so slightly pink. "Let me make up for last night." I leaned over the isles as far as I could. "Uh, that's why we're here. I mean, I know I said I'd take you here, but this is me making up for getting to hammered to think straight." Coco looked down and shook her head. "No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have--" "Coco we're not going to do this." I walked around the isle, standing off with her. "I'm the one at fault, now let me make it up to you." Coco shook her head again, her collar shaking softly against her coat. "No--" I reached down, pulling her into a tight hug and tucking her backside under my arm. "Stop it." I carried her towards the corner of the shop, setting her down and meeting her head height. "Listen...you're going to get the fabrics, machines, whatever you want. You can keep them in my house until you move, but you're not--" "Then let me make you a shirt." Coco shot back, leaning in close. "I feel so bad for what--" "No, I feel bad." I whispered angrily. "Coco, I was supposed to get you home and--" Coco leaned in a bit fiery in her own right. "I was drunk. You were drunk. I lead you on, I know I did." "Coco stop." I held her still by the withers. "You didn't lead me on, we were having fun and I just took it too--" "No I--" I shook Coco gently. "Coco, no, bad. Stop shifting the blame from me!" Coco stared at me, bright blue eyes a bit confused. "Um...there's somepony behind you." I snapped my head around. A peach unicorn was standing over me, staring at us. "Uh, can I help you?" The mare shook her head. "No, just making sure you weren't making out." The mare turned away, dusting the shop with her tail as she went. "And you're both wrong, it was the moon's fault." I stared at the rather intrusive mare. "That's a terrible joke." I stood up, dusting myself off and straightening my pants. "And really Coco, it was my f--" "No, it--" "Oh Celestia's sake, kiss already!" The mare shouted, leaning against the counter near the front of the shop. "You, you like him, and you, you like her, now kiss!" The mare stomped her hoof. "Or don't, but go do something!" She flopped down, hooves hanging over the counter. "I can't take anymore, no I'm sorry." I turned sharply towards Coco. "Uh, we're actually not dating." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "We just kinda...yeah." Coco looked around nervously. "Well I- no...no we're n--" The mare slammed the counter. "Yes, you are!" She flailed her forelegs like mad. "This is a date. Not the best place, but still." I felt a bit flustered. "Uh, no, it's like. It's complicated alright." The mare shook her head, brow in a sharp V. "Nuh uh, it's actually really simple." She poked a hoof towards me. "You, you're gonna buy a bunch of fabric and a machine." She moved her hoof to Coco, causing her to pop upright. "You're gonna make a jacket for him," she swung her hoof back over to me. "And you're gonna wear it," And back towards Coco. "And he's gonna buy you lunch, or dinner, or he's gonna eat directly off your body. I don't know, just stop with the sexual tension and buy something!" I stared at the mare, snapping down to find Coco with a bright blush. I rubbed my face, trying to rid myself of the image of nyotaimorizing Coco. "Uh...sure." I dug into my wallet, finding my bank card. "Coco...go, get the--" "No. I'll get it." The mare wiggled herself over the counter. "She'll buy the cheapest stuff so she doesn't cost you too much." She hurried off, leaving me standing stalk stiff before the counter. We both watched as the mare loaded up a few bolts of fabric and a slim looking sewing machine onto a cart. "You have a--" The mare stopped when she looked over Coco. "Yeah, you have a kit." Coco turned away. "Um...yes." The mare stared at her, glaring quite angrily. "...You're getting a new one." She pointed a hoof up to me. "You, how much you spending." I jolted upright. "Uh, money really isn't an issue, just don't gouge me." The mare nodded sharply. "Good boy." She snapped a small box onto the counter and slid it across. "Three hundred bits." I walked over, grumbling softly. "And I said don't gouge me--" The mare snatched my card away. "I'm cutting your price down by fifteen percent, don't you start with me." She hastily slid my card, snapping it down against the sewing machine. "Now get out! If you apologize anymore I'm going to lose my great mighty nuggets." I stared at the mare. "Uh, bad day?" The mare glared at me. "I was fine until the shy couple decided to have a domestic incident in my shop." She slumped down, laying her chin across the counter. "I have to imagine that's what it would be like if you ever got in a real fight. Oh I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings! Oh, let me make dinner to fix it. No, that's fine, let's go to dinner, I'll pay." She rolled her head to the side. "Ugh. I need a nap." I nodded, picking up the heavy machine and the bolts of fabric. "Yeah, should close up and get some rest." "Yeahwhatever." She grumbled, staring down at the thread holders on her counter. "Come back when you need more cloth, just not together. The building will collapse out of sheer guilt." Coco walked with me, heading through the double glass doors and out into the half empty streets. Everypony either at the beach or at work, leaving the roads mostly abandoned. She looked up at me with a smile. "Thanks, this was really fun." I smiled down at her. "I can make it better, go apologize to her again." Coco looked at me with a small frown. "I do- oh, what the hay." She chuckled, turning back towards the shop. I waited outside, hearing a loud yelp as Coco bolted outside. She jammed her hoof against her backside. "She threw a pin holder at me...." I felt my eyes open wide. "Oh...well shit. Need a bandaid?" Coco rubbed her flank. "No...I think I'm okay." I cocked an eyebrow. "We'll see later. See how far this date goes." I turned to the sidewalk, doomed to carry the heavy machine by myself. Coco ran up, beside me, looking around nervously. "Um...did you--" "Yes, it's a date." I stated clearly. "Mare said so." Coco looked around, darting between my shoes and my head. "Oh, I uh...um, okay." She took a deep breath. "Thanks for not being mad--" "Oh my god, Coco, it was my fault!"
TAKI sat in my living room, leaning against my wrist as Coco's new machine rattled away. The constant tak tak tak rather pleasant in the hot summer afternoon. "Hey Coco, can I ask something?" I shifted on my couch, stretching my legs and laying my cheek against one of the arms. "I mean, it's a litter personal, so feel free to say no." Coco kept her eyes on her hooves, carefully sewing up some cloth. "I...don't.... Mind." I laughed, seeing the mare so focused was a nice change from her usual nervous twitch. "Like, it's about sex, kinda." I scratched my head and laid on my back. "I heard this thing about washing machines, but I just figured it might apply to a sewing machine too." The takking stopped dead. "...Ethan...are you asking if I--" "Have you ever masturbated with a sewing machine?" I asked plain, turning my head and spotting a blush growing over her cheeks. She didn't face me, keeping her eyes glued to the fabric on the machine. "... You did didn't you?! Awesome!" I laughed heartily, covering my mouth to keep from spitting. "Ooooh man!" Coco continued to grow red. "I sat on it. I wouldn't really call it masturbating...." She tapped her hooves together and started to mumble. "Did you cum? If you cum it's masturbating, or sex." I shifted about, sliding my hands over the soft material couch. "Oh man, you're lit up like a Christmas light." Coco refused to look at me. "It was at work. I got fired when they found out." I felt something cold shoot across my smile. "Oh...." I crossed my arms, resting a forearm on each knee. Coco loosened her collar with a hooftip. "I was sleeping in my aunt's house in Ponyville, and just one night I sat on a machine and worked through the night." She reached up and rubbed the arm of the machine. "I didn't like that job much anyways." I swallowed hard and rubbed my throat. "I guess I understand. Like, if I jerked it on the radio equipment, they'd probably want to fire me." Coco let out a long sigh. "Yeah." She stared at the machine. "I uh...I--" She shoved the cloth off the machine and grabbed her head. "I need...a second...." I felt a heavy frown rest on my lips. "Coco, you okay?" I shifted to the side of the couch closest to her. "You need a hug? I'm here for--" Coco held a hoof before me, the equine equivelant of talk to the hand. "Ethan--I need--a second. I need to think of some things." I played with my fingers. "Uh...do you want me to leave? I can go--" Coco let out an irritated sigh and put her hooves on the machine. "Ethan, are we dating?" I swallowed hard. "If you can call a few days together and a bar dive a dating life." Coco sighed loudly. "I don't like dates.... The other pony just stares at me, and I don't like it." Coco shook her head. "I don't like when ponies stare at me for no reason. It's like, when I give them a reason to stare at me they just ignore me, and when I want to be alone or quiet they sit there and burn a hole into my head." She grabbed the machine and slowly reared up. "Ethan...we should go to the beach." I rubbed my mouth. "Uh, well if you don't like people staring at you, that might not be the best place." I watched as Coco set the machine on the floor. "Um...Coco--" "Quiet." She shifted it about, setting it into place. "I said I don't like when they stare at me for no reason. I mean, I just don't like staring at other ponies from across a dining table. It feels fake, like everypony does it because that's how they learned." I stared, starting to get a bit hot as Coco mounted the arm of the machine. "Uh...I get...that." I felt my nose burn as she pulled the foot peddle over towards her. "I just...don't--" Coco slowly pushed the peddle. She let out a short moan as the machine started to tak away once again. She crossed her legs, adjusting herself on the edge of the machine. "Beach- would be nice. Or- movie- blanket camping may-be." I watched the cream mare shift around on the machine. "I could figure something out. Blanket camping, is that like--" Coco lowered her head and shoved her forelegs against her lap. "Like star watching...." She kicked a leg out and twitched slightly before pulling it back over her other leg. "Uuuuuh Ethan, am I pretty? Nopony ever calls me pretty." I lowered my arms against my groin, trying to hide my pride. "Um, I wouldn't call you pretty. Cute would be a better word." I could see Coco's mane starting to get a bit wild as she bounced slightly on the vibrating machine. "Not sure I can call you cute after this though--" "I don't care." She let out a long huff and undid her tie. "I need a second...." "Apparently." I started to ache, trapped in my pants. "Do I need to be here for this?" Coco huffed loudly. "It's not a big deal...." "You're riding a sewing machine." "I didn't cum yet. So, it's not masturbating yet." She tapped her back leg on the floor like mad, sending another tapping to join the machine. "You said it's masturbating if you cum, right? I'm just sitting and talking. And you were gonna stare at me anyways, give you a reason this way." I started bouncing my leg like mad. "That's not really what I meant." "Ethan, do you like me?" Coco asked, trying to balance on the very edge of the machine. I could feel something damp on my forehead. "Uh...that's a loaded question. And I- I mean I already do like you. Just, kinda sudden right now--" "You asked me to." She shot back, a few stray mane-hairs starting to poke out of her manecut. I crossed my legs like a girl, crushing my cock between my thighs. "Uh, I asked if you ever did. It was more curiosity than command." Coco let out a protracted moan, digging her hoof into the rug under her. "Too late." I pinched the tip of my nose hard. "So...ponies...really, really like sex, huh?" "Herd- instincts- breed a lot- better-- buck!" Coco flung herself forward, barely getting her hooves under her in time. She was hunched over like a cat in heat, huffing slightly as her collar slid off her neck. "Buuu-uuuck." I pursed my lips. "That's uh.... I failed biology in highschool. I probably should have paid--" Coco shook herself hard. "I'll show you what I mean." I coughed sharply. "Excuse me?" Coco shivered hard and reached a hoof back. "Nothing. I'm okay...." She took a deep breath. "I'm alright." I watched as the red faced mare slowly eased up. "Coco, you feeling okay?" Coco wiggled her back legs, dropping a damp set of cream panties off around her hooves. "Yeah...felt a little pent up, lot of memories about Ponyville just now." I stared at the panties, now sitting in a heap on the rug. "Summer of sixty-five kinda deal or what?" Coco turned away from me, covering her backside with her tail. "My first coltfriend, my first job, and first heat. They all happened pretty close together." I stared at the mare, shifting uncomfortably form side to side. "Uh, how long ago was this?" Coco rubbed her face, slowly settling down and easing her posture. "Um, a few years ago." I bit my tongue. "Am I allowed to ask how old you are?" Coco turned to face me, fresh faced and only with a minor tweak in her mane. "Twenty. I think. To be honest I lost track of what day it was when I moved into Manehattan. I've been keeping time off Winter Wrap Up." "Oh uh...twenty-two." I shifted around to face her dead on. "So this was...were you trying to tell me something? Like, was that some weird seduction thing, because I don't really know how to feel about what just happened." Coco looked up at me with a concerned frown. "No, it just needed to get out." She flattened out her ears and looked back to the machine. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel weird." She lowered her head, keeping her face flat towards me. "Should I go?" I coughed softly. "Well, considering I need to go take care of something right now, I can't say I don't understand." I held my arms out. "Just a little strange you did it in front of me.... Could have gone to the bathroom if you really needed to." Coco's ears flipped forward, then straight back down. "I uh, I guess. I wasn't exactly thinking super clear...sorry." I let out a strange soft churl. "No...Coco, stop being sad." I leaned forward and carefully pulled the mare towards me. "Come here." Coco dug her hooves in just enough to make me use force. "Coco...come." Coco shook her head as I pulled her towards me. "No...I'm okay, it's fine--" As soon as her foreleg touched my knee she shot upright and latched herself around my neck. She pressed her chin against my neck, leaving me to cradle her back and her head. She let out a long sigh as I brushed my hands over her mane. "Ethan... why does nopony like me?" I rubbed the mare's back, slowly leaning back onto the couch. "Coco, I don't know anypony that doesn't like you." "Suri. Pressed. Buttons--" "Those your bosses?" I asked, dragging her back legs across my knees and onto my lap. "Those sound like fashion people." Coco just stayed quiet. "Marigold--" "She likes you. I like you. The radio crew thinks you're sweet." I bounced the mare on my knee, hoisting her up against me. "You should really talk to more people than just ponies you work for." Things went quiet as Coco laid against me, resting damp against my thigh. "Ethan...do you like me? I like you." "Yeah, why wouldn't I? You've been really--Ow." I tensed up as Coco bit my neck, followed up by a hearty suction. "Coco...why?" I could feel her teeth digging bluntly into my neck. I let out a long breath and dug my thumbs against Coco's front, trying to discreetly pry her off me. "Coco, let go please." Coco tried to keep her hooves around me, but even while she was an earth pony, she was still a bit weak. She popped off, her teeth snapping shut rather loudly as I held her back. "...Oh...." Coco stayed there, my hands under her forelegs. Her ears shot back and eyes darted to the floor. "Sorry...I left a mark." I set Coco down and shot my hand to my neck. "What? Did you give me a hickey?!" I couldn't help but laugh. "Jesus, why?" Coco tapped her hooves on the ground. "I don't know...I read in a magazine that humans like that.... I didn't know, I'm so sorry!" I stood up and rubbed the now achey spot. "It's fine, Coco, just odd is all." "Sorry." She turned away, ears popping up towards the door. "Somepony's coming, I'll just go check who it is." She bolted off towards the door, leaving me standing before the now damp machine and the pair of panties. "Probably Marigold." I picked the machine up, ignoring the slightly musky smell. "Well...myth confirmed I guess." I looked down at the pair of darkened panties, sitting sadly on the floor. "...Do I go full creep...or do I play nice guy." I turned to the door, watching as Coco talked with the guest, her tail plastered between her legs. "Should probably stop talking to myself first." I walked over towards the door, spotting the psychotic mare in a black dress waiting for me. "Oh, there he is." Marigold flapped her wings, causing her dress to flutter behind her. "Ready to go?" I ran my hand up Coco's back, causing her flank to bump up. "As ready as I'm going to be. Coco, you gonna be okay here?" Coco looked up at me, smiling softly. "I'll be okay...." I ran my nails over her neck, watching as she shuddered. "Alright, I'll be back soon." I stepped past, out the door with two quick steps. The door creaked shut, leaving me and Marigold to climb down to a waiting carriage. "Oh, really, a carriage?" Marigold nodded. "What, you thought I walked or flew? In this dress? Please-" she brushed her wither with a hoof, "-you don't fly in a Shores dress." I shook my head and focused on the stairs, the stone mess groaning as I walked down. "I don't know who that is." I kept along, the sun was slowly falling in the distance, painting the ocean a bright copper. "So what did you tell Coco?" Marigold marched past me, straight into the carriage with absolutely no ceremony. "Business trip. I'm gonna talk with her tomorrow, so don't feel too special." I stepped after her, the wooden contraption groaning under my weight. It was a simple thing, two sets of bench seating facing inward. "So this is gonna be a thing? Three of us, I mean." Marigold flopped down in a seat and patted the spot next to her with her hoof. "Well, yeah. I don't get involved in my shipping much, but you two are just too cute together. I'm gonna ruin it, throw in some bondage and some kinky stuff and show you how a Canterlot mare does things right." I carefully sat down next to her, leaning my back fully against the wall of the carriage. "So what am I? What's this freaking--" "It's a herd, I'm in charge, you provide the muscle, Coco provides the charm." Marigold bopped my arm with a hoof. "It's not that hard." I rubbed my neck. "Sure." Marigold started to chuckle. "Whoa, what's wrong with your neck?" She leaned forward, peeking at my hickey. "Coco give you that?" I sighed loudly. "So, is tonight going to end in sex? Seems like it always does, right?" Marigold leaned back and put a hoof on my knee. "It doesn't have to, but it can. Planning sex takes half the fun out of it." I nodded curtly. "Alright...so, I'm just gonna get this over with." I reached to the side in a flash, grabbing Marigold by the forelegs. "Whoa, hey there--" "Quiet you." I pulled her across my lap and slid my hand from her back-hoof sandals over her legs and under her dress. "Me time." I flipped her dress up, revealing that orangish fat flank I was expecting. Marigold tried to push free, my hand on the back of her neck keeping her pinned. "Hey, Mario, maybe--" I brought my hand down across her flank, causing her head to jolt up against my arm. "What's my fucking name?!" Marigold let out a long growl. "I'm sorry, did you just spank me!? I'm in a two thousand bit dress, and you just-- Fucker!" I grabbed her flank, squeezing her soft chubby ass. The warm sensation rippled up my arm, stopping at the elbow. "What is my name?" I ran my hand up her flank, digging my nails in until I found her pantie line. "I've had a fucking hell of a day! And you're either going to do what I say or I'm going to bruise your ass!" Marigold tried to push off the bench, completely stuck under my hands. "Pete, I'm warning you, if you don't let me go you're going to regret it." She pushed off again, getting forced back down by my hand on her her withers. "Ryan, this isn't a joke.... I'm all for a little dom play, but not in this d--" "Fuck the dress!" I yanked her panties up, causing her flank to lift and tail to pop upright. I pulled hard, causing the chubby mare to grunt and mumble as I ground her mound with the thin cloth. "Say my fucking name!" I kept her head pinned and pulled her panties hard. "Say, my, fucking, name!" I slid my hand down, prodding whatever warm hole I found. Marigold moaned as I squeezed whatever plump flesh I could find. "Ethan...stop." "What did you say!?" I pinched her labia, squeezing it hard against her winking nub. "Fucking say my god damn name!" "Ethan...." "Louder!" I shouted, forcing her head down. "Come on, louder!" I spread her flanks, her panties forming a neat white line up and down her groin. "Ethan!" "That all you got? I know I'm a nice guy, but you just fucking piss me off! Now fucking scream my god damn name!" I pinched her nub, causing her to moan like a bitch in heat. "Scream it!" "Ethan- bucking Ethan Ethan- fucking Ethan!" She arched her back hard, presenting herself to the wall as I teased her. "You're a damn animal!" I let her go, holding my hands up off her body. "Around you? Around people that piss me off? Oh yes!" Marigold huffed, trying to catch her breath. "What did I do now?! I just--" "Nothing...just...you've made me mad and a lot of screwed up shit just happened." I clenched my fists and grabbed my head. "Pent up...like Coco now." Marigold looked up at me, not even blushing. "Coco? What did she do?" I shook my head. "Nothing...now are you gonna bend over or do I have to make you?" Marigold slowly slid off me. "So- all I have to do is make you mad? Then you'll bend me over and destroy me? Dear Celestia...should have told me sooner--" "Blame Coco. She freaking...she just- she did a thing and now I either need to sort this out-" I started undoing my belt, "-or I'm going to be blue-balled for the entire night." Marigold laid her front half on the floor of the carriage, holding her backside up high for me. "It could have waited...just, don't finish on the dress--" "I get it!" I fished my angry rod out of my boxers. "Won't take much anyways." I stood up, holding the wall to keep from falling over as we rolled along the streets of Baltimare. "Uh...how long have we been moving?" Marigold shoved a hoof between her legs. "Does it matter?" "Guess not." I lined myself up with her, pressing my tip against her pantie covered mound. "Alrigh- I...fuck- fuckin--" I jammed myself against the hot wet mound, letting myself tremble as the moist cloth rubbed against my cocktip. All I could feel was ache, constant, unending ache. But the soft feeling of her warm pussy lips behind those panties was enough to set me off. "Ah- fuck- too soon." I groaned, feeling the quake hit me. The tension shot right to my tip, letting loose a seap of cum into her already wet panties. Marigold turned around, cheek pressed against the floor. "Oh wow...did you just--" I held onto her ass, squeezing the warm mass of fat as I shot my load straight against her pussy, dripping the gruel through her panties and against her opening. "Oooooooh thank god...." I lowered my head and let the constant pulse turn my legs to jelly. I held onto the wall as my cum mixed with the small amount of mare juice she was letting out. "Cum stained panties...the most beautiful kind...." I pulled my tip away, a string of some sort of sticky fun linking my cock to the massive wet patch around her tightly outlined mound. "Oh god...I need a second."
CLEAN"So, saw those two mares walk you home last night." My neighbor leaned out of his window, the slim griffon chewing on an apple while watching me. "Get lucky?" I ignored him, continuing to blast myself with a hose. "I'll never be clean again!" I shouted, scrubbing myself through my boxers. "Never again!" I continued to spray myself down, the freezing cold water only made all the worse by the rising sun. "Oh god, why!?" My neighbor continued to eat. "I don't know, they looked cute. One was walking into posts and stuff, but the other one seemed alright." I threw the hose to the ground, picking up a kitchen sponge and scraping it along my body. "They don't make water hot enough!" My neighbor nodded. "Probably got a little steamy right?" I fell to my knees in the small puddle forming on our shared lawn. "Aaaugh, mom, dad, I'm so sorry!" I fell onto my hands and knees. "I think I'm just going to walk into the ocean." My neighbor chuckled. "Sure. Hey, you want a bagel or something?" I stayed in the middle of our lawn, on my hands and knees, waiting for god to strike me down with a bolt of lightning or a truck dropped from on high. "...Towel?" My neighbor nodded, finishing up his apple. "I'll bring you a towel and a muffin, okay?" I flopped onto my side, the cold grass nice against my sponge scrapes. "...Berry please...." I stared out at the ocean, watching the sun slowly rise in the distance. "...eugh." I whimpered to myself, wondering how painful it would be to be eaten by a sea monster.