Love Games: The Quest for Mares, Glory, and Honor!

    "Three days...its been...three days...!" I groaned as I walked into sugarcube corner.

     I sat myself down at a table, and Pinkie at once appeared at my side, almost as if out of thin air, shouting "Hi there star!" at the top of her lungs. Needless to say, going three days without sleep had affected me greatly. I was too tired to be surprised. Ever since we declared war, Bel and I had been pranking each other non-stop, typically in the presence of Twilight. During this time I'd been too paranoid to sleep, eat, or even exist within fifty hooves of him.

    "I'm exhausted Pinkie. Please...just get me a muffin...?" I managed to ask groggily.

"Sure thing star! The usual?" pinkie asked.

"Yes..." I responded, planting my head firmly on the table with a resonding THUMP! I had developed a taste for Pinkie's muffins in my short time there in Ponyville. There was something...off...about them that really kept my mood up. Pinkie appeared seconds later with a muffin in hand. I thanked her with a mouthful of muffin as I handed her the bits, which she promptly gave back.

    "No need to pay for this one, Starry. It's on me!" Feeling rejuvinated by the muffin already, I found myself smiling "Thanks, Pinkie" I said gratefully and much less groggily.

    Pinkie scooted up next to me on the stall and put her mouth near my ear, whispering conspiratorially, "Psst, Hey Starry. You wanna' get in Twi's pants, right?" She asked.

    I clamored away from her on the stall, staring at her wide-eyed. "What? What are-" I was cut off as her hoof was placed over my mouth.

    "SSssshhhh!" She shushed, "The authors don't care that you don't know what pants are! Do you want her or not?"

    I silently nodded, her hoof still over my mouth and she beamed at me, her smile really large enough to touch both ears. "Good! I want to help. Rarity heard the two of you fighting outside the restaurant and filled us in." Her toothy grin turned mischievous. "So I heard you were having trouble with some...pranks."

    "Pinkie, I'm uhh...flattered...you want to help me out, but you don't know what your getting yourself into! Bel is ruthless! He will stop at nothing to impress a girl once he has his mind set, and he will do anything he can to hinder me in the process!" I protested as we walked through town, looking for Bel.

    "Don't worry, Star," Pinkie assured, completely unphased. "Fluttershy and Applejack are on your side too, so we've got him outnumbered as long as he doesn't find out Rainbow Dash, Spike and Rarity are on his side!" I was beginning to sweat profusely, panicking that anypony was helping him at all. This...this was his specialty. Bel didn't talk about it often, but he had spent several years in the royal guard before he went to college and finally met back up with me after high school. If he had an army, he was going to win for sure!

    "You're a swell guy, Star. I can't lie. Something about you just screams, 'I'm the perfect match for Twilight Sparkle!'"

    I meant to respond; however, I found myself pulled into a bush, and I suddenly had a pair of glasses with eyebrows and a nose that made me look like Groucho Hooves. Pinkie motioned to my eyes, then out to one of the market stalls, explaining wordlessly that I needed to look. I gazed out of the foliage to see Bel with Twilight. They had stopped at a stall on their way somewhere and seemed to be having a good time. My face flushed red as I seethed with anger. Pinkie handed me a pie, then threw one of her own at the back of his head. It was a direct hit, messing up the careful style of his short, blonde and black mane. He turned in our direction angrily, just in time for his eyes to widen as another cream pie hit him directly in the muzzle.

    "Graaahh! Star!" He began to make chase and we bolted in the opposite direction.

    As we ran, I heard Twilight shout, "Wait! What about our date?!" The disappointment was crystal clear in her tone. Just how quickly was I losing this war?

    It had been four days since I found out that I now had a miniature army at my disposal. I assigned Pinkie to be my personal bodyguard, as I was paranoid as ever over Bel's pranks. He had begun to do some serious damage with the help of his followers. One of them shot fire, for Celestia's sake! "Pinkie, I'm going out. I need to relax. Try to contact Bel for a cease-fire, will ya? All this stress is really getting to me!" It was highly unlikely Bel would stop in his pursuit of Twilight, but I could be sure that he would, at least, leave me alone for a while if i asked him to. It would allow him more time to concentrate on wooing her. "Yes, General!" Pinkie shouted, offering a sharp salute in return.

    I added, "If you need me, I shall be in sector sigma-alpha-omega," which was our military code for Sweet Apple Orchards. I needed some time alone, so I picked up my guitar, a notebook, and a pencil and went out.

    As I weaved my way through the multitude of trees in the orchard, I searched for somewhere to sit. I found a clearing with an especially large tree in the middle. Surprisingly, it bore no apples. I sat down at the base of the tree, took out my guitar, opened the notebook and let the creative juices flow...

"There's a place and a time for the likes of war,

There's a place in my heart, thats beats for more,

More than just fighting, more than just peace,

Not quite victory, not quite defeat,

Maybe all i need, is a breather..."

Suddenly, I heard a crack, and everything went dark.

    I awoke to somepony running frantic circles around me, "Ughhh...What happened...?" I grumbled, rubbing what felt like a large lump on my head.

    "Oh, finally! You're awake!" The stranger sounded anxious, "Sorry I landed on you...I'm not exactly the best flier..." She apologized, "My name is Ditzy Doo, but most people call me Derpy...What's your name?"

    Those eyes...they were crossed. The left one seemed to work correctly while the right lazily lolled toward the ground. I caught myself staring and quickly looked away, unaware of the growing blush on my face "Uhhh...." I began, "Hi Derpy. Is it ok if I call you Derpy? My name's Starlight Blaze..."

   The mare gasped loudly, and I expected to be tackled to the ground in a fit of fan-girling. I braced for an impact which never came. "You're one of those two stallions trying to impress Twilight!" She observed.

    "What? How do YOU know about that?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"EVERYONE IN PONYVILLE knows whats going on between you two and Twilight....except Twilight, of course...." The adorably cross-eyed mare informed, "Most ponies found out during an especially heated argument between Applejack and Rainbow Dash in Town Square the other day. Ever since then, ponies have been taking sides! Some even have bets open on who's going to win. Others have fights, and even take up arms against one another in small skirmishes led by Fluttershy on your side and Spike on Bel Canto's!"

    I was beginning to be less concerned that others could be injured by this war, and more by the fact that there could be someone, a spy trying to take me out, standing right in front of me! "W-which side are you on, D-Derpy?" I asked, clearly nervous. Way to go, Hotshot.

    The mare seemed to pick up on my nervous behavior and backed up a bit. "Well...I don't really want to get involved in something like this...but if I had to pick, I'd pick you!" Derpy said, going from nervous to excited in the blink of an eye.

"Hmmm....Derpy, I like you. Something about you is just...off...in a good way! How would you like to be my assistant, second in command?" I asked, worried I sounded a bit too excited to drag her into a war that she clearly didnt want to get involved in.

    "Hhhh...This is all so sudden! I've never worked for, nevermind, NEAR a rockstar before!" She was excited, and I was relieved that she accepted the job. She gave off an interesting vibe, to say the least. "What are my orders, Sir?" She asked with a crooked salute, seemingly too excited to be under my command.

    "Your first orders are to take these bits," I handed her a medium-sized bag of bits, "Go to Sugarcube Corner, and buy a dozen muffins. Tell them Starlight wants the usual."

    She seemed to almost burst with joy once I uttered the word 'muffins.' "SIR, YES SIR!" she shouted, dropping her salute. She flew off and left me wondering what it was about her that I seemed slightly drawn towards....I picked up my guitar and let the creative juices flow once again, with nothing but that strange, cross-eyed mare on my mind.