Click

Indianapolin IN

Hundreds of humans have packed themselves into the large hall, the lights are dimmed, the air is ripe with hate of the announcement of the new XBox 2 the medics drug the Microsoft representative  out to the nearby ambulance, his face covered in bruises blood and one solitary blue cupcake that had taken root over his left eye. The people stare as he leave, but stop suddenly as they hear a boom come across the room. This can mean only one thing... they cheer, their savior has arrived, Gabe Newall steps onto the stage with a suit tailored with the dollars of a thousand willing buyers. The cheering grows, almost deafening, until he raises his hand slowly. The lighs dim as the power of a god commands them. A projector falls from the ceiling crushing one, but no one notices. The curtain slowly parts behind Gabe and there rests a pedestal. On that pedestal lays a small silver briefcase. He picks it up slowly and turns back to the crowd. Sweat pours, people have begun fainting, but they have seen nothing yet. He clicks open one lock and the Microsoft representative falls to his knees slowly praying that Gabe accepts him as a follower of the Gaben religon. A second lock pops and the lights have begun to swing towards him, stuck in a gravitational pull. The case cracks, a golden light spills, All who the light touches are converted to Gaben. He opens the case and reaches through the glow for he is the chosen one. A box is pulled out and a bright orange name is printed upon it.

HALF LIFE 3

Many faint instantly, those not touched by the sales of our Steam Gods die, turning into piles of money for the Gaben followers. Gaben stands and as he does wings of gold ichor sprout from his back and fly him and the followers of Gaben to his palace in the sky of sales, hats, and Dota.

GABE IS LOVE GABE IS LIFE.