Loose Bits: An Equestrian Coup
0th anniversary special edition
It was a dark, rainy day. Fluttershy spent it inside her cottage, with a giant stack of newspapers, photographs, news reels, anything she could get her hooves on. She poured over every detail, noted each inconsistency, and considered each explanation. She clipped a picture out of the Baltimare Times, showing a royal guard looking nonchalant while a changeling flies right by him. She turned to a giant cork-board, and pinned the picture to it. More evidence.
"It was an inside job! I just know it!" It was her mantra. She repeated it every time she pinned something. It reaffirmed her goal. It gave reason to her labors. Angel rolled his eyes. Yesterday it was claiming Canterlot elites put the sleeping dragon next to Ponyville there to lower property values, tomorrow it'd be Rarity is a secret agent planted to suppress unrest.
"Queen gets through the barrier somehow, and guards are compliant. It all makes sense. Too much sense!" She said to no-one as she traced the lines of string she set up on the cork-board that linked related evidence. "Queen slips in, guards compliant, replaces captian's fiance, he barely notices, no one seems to notice!" She pounded a hoof on the board. "No, I noticed. It's too perfect. It can't be coincidence. It had to be planned. Everything played out too perfectly for it not to be. And it goes all the way to the top.
"The changeling invasion... was staged!"
Angel sighed. No getting a carrot when she was in this sort of mood.
Fluttershy traced her network of string - a confusing maze of intersecting lines, of colors meaningless to all but her. The Cakes's marriage was linked in orange to the opening of a new bridge which was linked in green to Cadance moving to the Crystal Empire which was itself linked to a half dozen events from a fair in Fillydelphia to a editorial that said Celestia wasn't omnibenevolent enough. Angel figured all the lines meant "this happened."
"The only question," Fluttershy continued, "is why? Why go through all the trouble of setting this up? What is there to gain?" Nothing in her research pointed towards a goal. It was all methods. She had to know why they did it. What was the end? Reaffirming faith in the leadership? Giving a convenient enemy in response to which civil rights would be removed in the name of security? Dying for Celestia's cake profits?
She couldn't go to the source. Asking Celestia directly would be disastrous. "They'd disappear me in a blink!" She said aloud. She'd vanish for good. A new pony would be the new element of kindness, take her place in the stained glass, go on spa dates with Rarity - "And all that'd be left of old Fluttershy is a body in a ditch!" She said aloud again. Angel decided to start on her copy of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Canterlot.
No, there was one pony Fluttershy could trust. One close to the top who she believed wouldn't disappear her if she asked too many questions. One pony who didn't seem to ask why she rented whole sections of the archive. She was going pay the library a visit.
"Um, Twilight, if you aren't busy or anything, I'd like to ask you a question." Fluttershy muttered.
"Not at all, Fluttershy! What's up?" Twilight Sparkle answered as she swooped around the library, organizing books. "If you don't mind me asking, what's with the old newspaper rentals?"
Fluttershy flinched. 'Horseapples, she's on to me!' She thought to herself. 'Don't tell me even Twilight would...' "I-It's about that actually... Well, it's related. Um, I uh... oh please don't be mad at me!" She said, starting to tear up.
"Fluttershy, is something wrong?!" Twilight said in alarm. "What's going on?"
Fluttershy fought back the tears. "I-I'm sorry it's just - I can't trust anypony and - gosh you're one of my best friends and I - I just - how much did they pay you?"
"Pay me for what? Fluttershy. are you okay?" Twilight's concern was matched by her confusion.
"You were in on it the whole time, weren't you? Sent there to make people who put the pieces together look ridiculous!" Fluttershy yelled, pointing dramatically. "You did a good job, I have to say! But the jig's up!"
"Fluttershy, what in the world are you talking about?" Twilight asked, thinking of which disease caused baseless and contextless accusations.
"Oh, um..." Fluttershy tried to hide behind her mane. "It's just that, well I'm pretty sure that, well, the changelings trying to take over during your brother's wedding was an inside job orchestrated by the elites of Equestria in order to... well..." Fluttershy peeked out at Twilight. "I've narrowed it down to two things. Was the plan to legitimatize the enactment of a police state or to drum up patriotic fervor?"
Twilight put a hoof around Fluttershy's shoulder. "Neither, actually. It was a controlled crisis to manipulate the stock market. The crash and rebound happened according to script."
"Huh, I never thought of that one." Fluttershy said, smiling. "Interesting. I see it-wait, huh?"
Twilight laughed. "Sorry, it was a joke. You wouldn't imagine how many ponies think the whole thing was a ruse and that I'd divulge the truth. Last one came in here just yesterday, in fact. That was his idea." She took a few steps back. "I just got so used to messing with them, I forgot how sensitive you are. Sorry, really."
"Oh, it's okay. I understand." Fluttershy replied. "But, um, does that mean what really happened was..."
"That somehow a changeling replaced the bride-to-be? Yeah, actually. Shining's a bit dense like that, yeah, and having his brain zapped probably wasn't helping that much." Twilight said.
Fluttershy looked around the room, as if to affirm it was the same world as before. "So, they really were that... incompetent?"
Twilight frowned. "Incompent's a harsh word but... yeah. We all make mistakes, and that goes for those higher up. It's pony nature. Sometimes, those mistakes lead to creepy love-eating bug ladies nearly winning.
"And having to say it like that probably isn't the best sign." Twilight said, with a wry smile.
"Oh no, Twilight, it's quite relieving, actually, to know they're just like us." Fluttershy said happily. "Thank you, this has been bugging me for a while."
"Don't mention it!" Twilight said. "Just, when are you planning on returning those newspapers?"
"Eheheh..." Fluttershy giggled nervously. "Gotta go!" She was out the door before Twilight could react.
Twilight sighed in relief. "Spike! Take a letter. 'Dear Princess Celestia: Today, Fluttershy came to ask uncomfortable questions about how the changelings got in.'" She looked around to make sure it was just the two of them there. "'She nearly got to the truth, but luckily I was able to convince her it was all an accident. We must never let the truth out, that we're terrible at hiring caterers.
"I mean, seriously, did you even try to shop around? How did you get the evil parasite company? Was the deal that good? You should know if it's too good to be true, it's probably a ploy for territorial conquest!
"Your faithful, if critical, co-conspirator,
"Twilight Sparkle.'"
Author's Note
I made a joke about how I'd trust the show making an episode about Fluttershy being a Truther and someone demanded I write it.
I am very easily convinced it seems.
This took about 2 hours to write so please judge me harshly and consider me a lesser human being for being bad at this.
