Rainbow Dash Plays Flappy Bird

by PonyAtHeart

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 1514

Rainbow Dash has amazing dying skills in the new app Flappy Bird. Oh the Irony.

Its a boring day in Ponyville and Rainbow Dash has nothing to do. So she pulls out her new iPone and decides to play the newest and most popular app: Flappy Bird. This game ,as she will figure out, is infuriating and wants to make your head explode. When she finds out the high score of the game is 10,000,000 she is determined to beat it. She devotes all of her time to Flappy... all...her...time.

Published 2014-02-09 18:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-09 18:10:03 UTC

Let The RAGE Begin

"Ahh, what a glorious day in Ponyville... so bright and so peaceful... but yet, nothing to do!" Rainbow Dash sat up in a fluster.
"How can there not be anything to do, there has to be! I know I'll call Twilight! She must have something fun we can do, something fun indeed." Rainbow Dash took out her new iPone and went to her contact list and clicked on the purpled coated, purple and pink maned, alicorn with the name Twiliy ;) next to it. It ringed a couple of times until Dash got Twilight's voice mail saying the same thing it always said "Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now, I'm off working with my new Princess duties, using my unicorn magic and pegasus wings. I will be back soon whenever Princess Celestia and Luna have no more work for me, because I'm a Princess now. And if this is Rainbow Dash calling for a booty call then just dial five. I will call back ASAP, till then this is Princess Twilight Sparkle's voicemail.... Oh did I mention I'm a Princess?"

"Real subtle, Twilight." Dash said, hanging up.

"Okay, next I guess is Pinkie Pie. She throws the best parties, just for two." She scrolled down to the light pink coated and dark pink maned pony with the name Pinkie next to it. She clicked it. It ranged three times, she finally got an answer.
"Hello?"

"Hey, Pinkie, its Dash, you busy?

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Dash, Rainbow Dash."

"I can't hear you, can you speak up?"

'IT'S RAINBOW DASH, PINKIE, ARE YOU BUSY?" She heard a giggle then an infuriating statement.

"Hah, you dum dum, this is a VOICEMAIL. Are you really that ignorant? Hehehe!"

"Damn it, Pinkie!" She hung up in a fuss.

"Rarity, third times the charm." Rainbow Dash said hopefully. She scrolled down and clicked on the white coated, purple maned unicorn with the name Rarity next to it. It rang only once. Dash didn't even try to listen to her voicemail, she knew Rarity threw her straight to it anyway. She hung up.

"AJ, don't let me down." Rainbow said nearly in tears. She scrolled to orange coated, blonde maned pony with the name AJ next to it. It
began to rang, and AJ picked up.
"AJ, thank Celestia! You're the first person to pick up!"

"Sorry Rainbow, its Zap Apple season again, and I gotta help Big Mac get those Zap Apples. Talk later, okay Sugarcube?"

"Yeah, okay, I guess..." she heard a dial tone, and her lip began to quiver.

"Flutters? Nah, doubt it, she doesn't even own a phone. Nobody will talk to me, it's like they're avoiding me! Celestia, Friendship is BS!"
She looked down at her phone looking through her apps, looking for one that looked interesting, then she saw an app that Tank had downloaded, it looked quite interesting. She read the name: Flappy Bird. With a click she was taken to the game, the game of rage, and intolerance, one that would make her a loser, an app, she wouldn't like...not one bit.

"Flappy Bird. Hmm." She clicked play.
"Tap to fly. OK. Doesn't seem to hard." She tapped the screen, and Flappy's steady flight turned, and plummeted him to the ground, making his weird lips kiss it, with passion. Dash looked confused.
"What?" She tried again, and tapped it more than once, she kept tapping making him go high, until he came to the first pole, which he hit, with his eye, which made Dash even more confused.
"He died by poking his eye. Okay then." She hit replay again, and kept tapping at a steady pace, then he got past the first pole, and got a score of one. Then he barely smacked the second pole, and died, in a crash. Rainbow jumped up a shouted, "YEAH BITCHES! ONE, BEAT THAT!" She looked at the high scores and saw first place, which was over 10,000,000. She hung her head in shame, "Guess yah did beat that, huh?"

---Flappy Bird: Hour One---

One hour later, Dash had finally gotten a high score of 1,000. She was getting pretty good, but not good enough. She was tapping furiously, making Flappy go high, then low, then high, then low, then he smacked himself with a pole. "What a TROLL!" She bursted. Then clicked replay. Tap, tap, tap. That was the only sound in Dash's house, not the sound of a bed, squeaking up and down, not the moans of her sexual partners, not the sound of Rainbow Dash being, alone. But the repetitive sound of tapping. Tap, tap, tapping.

---Flappy Bird: Hour Two---

Rainbow gritted her teeth, she was really focused on the game, making a mind racking score of over 5 million, she was really focused. She was never this focused, never with school, work, sex. The only thing she was ever focused on was her alone time, and now this. "Oh Flappy, don't stop, please Flappy, give it all you got! Oh, that's it! Oh Flappy, yes, yes, yes!! Oh Flappy, yes, come on, oh my Celestia, yes! Please, please, oh Flappy don't stop! Yes!" Then Flappy slapped the pole on a score of Seven million. She moaned in grief, but it sounded sexual. Around her house were a few ponies, mostly pegasi, they all had wing-boners. She looked out the window, everyone staring at her, she flipped them off.

---Flappy Bird: Hour Three---

With the score of 9 million in her grip, she makes the pole, and scores. "Only one more million, one more." She thought. Then she got a knock at her door, she looked away and Flappy died. "Damn it!" She hurried over and opened the door, it was the Pegasi Girl Scouts. They were selling cookies. "Good afternoon, miss. Would you like some peanut butter, chocolate chip, cupcake cookies?" The Girl Scout asked, in a sweet tone. Rainbow eyed the cookies, those were her favorite, but she didn't have time, she needed to get back to Flappy, but she really wanted those cookies. "Well girl, you see...." she was giving her puppy dog eyes. She couldn't help but 'aww' in her mind. She wanted cookies, but she needed Flappy. When she decided, she thought she needed what she needs more than what she wants, so she slammed her heavy door, right into the poor little girl's face. When she went inside, she began to play Flappy again, beginning to reach her goal,so she could be done. But now she couldn't even get past one. "NO! Damn it! Why?! Come on. Flappy, you can't do this, come on, damn it! Why?!?! Why the hell Flappy, but I love you!" She started to cry. "FLAPPY!" She became enraged. She started to throw everything through walls, and ripping things. She flew into a complete rage."Maybe I needed those cookies after all."

---Flappy Bird: Final Hour---

She had nearly done it. Almost there, it was in her grasp, 10 million, right there, served to her, on a silver platter. This was it, the moment, she flapped, going through the pole 10 million, one more, then she had done it. 10,000,001. She had broken the high score, it was hers, the world's high score was hers! She cried with joy. "Flappy, if you were real, I'd totally do you." She got a call from Twilight, but she explained she was really tired from her busy day. She got into bed, and covered up, but her phone beeped, notifying her that her score had been broken, by one more 10,000,002. Her eye started twitching. And she shouted loud enough where all of Equestria could hear her. She fell asleep with a sudden faint of light headedness. She hadn't beaten Flappy Bird. She wasn't the best. But to her,she was the best, and then one faithful day....

Rainbow Dash was walking through a Flappy Bird Convention in Equestria that brought all of Equestria's Flappy Bird players there. Then there she saw him, the best Flappy Bird player in the world. A yellow coated, orange maned pegasus,with a bird for a cutie mark. She walked up to him, and introduced herself..
"Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash."

"Well, hey there Rainbow Dash, wait you're Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah."

"You're the one who broke my previous record, of 10 million."

"Yeah but apparently you broke it, so you're the best player."

"Haha, Rainbow Dash we are both winners."

"Yeah, I guess, say I never got your name, what is it?"

"Oh, my name is Flappy, Flappy Bird." Rainbow's eyes widen, and she kissed him, right on the lips, out of no where. It is beautifully passionate, and romantic. When their lips parted, Flappy looked calmed, peaceful, and surprised. Then he said out of no where,

"Wanna come back to my hotel room?"

Author's Note

Got this idea when I was playing Flappy Bird and failing terribly. Kind of graphic, not really. Curse words used for emphasise. Sexual conflict, not meant to be serious. Rated T for Teen, thanks for reading ;)