Harp-Struck
Chapter Two: Welcome to Equestria
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“Hey what’s that?” Pinkie Pie thought aloud to herself.
Pinkie had been running an errand outside of Ponyville and noticed on her way back that there was a small crater a few yards from the bridge leading into the village. Being the curious pony that Pinkie was she decided to investigate. She trotted off the road and peered inside the hole in the ground. In the crater’s centre, was my unconscious body, I was surrounded by burnt papers, my clothes were tattered and torn. That jump had almost killed me. But then again it’s not every day you are shot through the fabric of time and space into another universe dominated by candy-coloured equines. But people always say the universe is infinite, don’t they?
What’s that smell? I thought, my half-comatose brain still trying to restore my vision, but my olfactory receptors seemed to prevail at that moment. Th-this scent… It smells like… Cupcakes, hmm. Then my subconscious kicked in and a horrible thought reached the front of my mind as I realised where and how this scent could reach me as my memory was cast back to a particular fan-fiction my friend had read to me, putting me in a catatonic state for almost a day. Cupcakes… Cupcakes… CUPCAKES! I shouted the last word aloud as my eyes shot open and I tried to scramble to my feet, but given the slight slope of the crater, I fell backwards, landing straight on my backside. I took a moment to gather my senses and slowly climbed out, my vision still a blur. I groaned and shook my head, trying to adjust my sight to the pink mass in front of me. When my line of sight cleared, it was made clear to me that the mass standing before me. Was none other than Pinkie Pie herself – who for the record was still giggling at my sudden outburst.
“Ooh I love cupcakes, especially ones with multi-coloured icing, they remind me of Dashie.”
A small pang of fear shot through my diaphragm. D-did she realise what she just said? I thought to myself; my adrenal glands were ready to send me speeding off into the sunset at that, but I shook my head. No, that was a fan-fiction; this is reality… sort of. I added, remembering where I was and then it hit me, I was in Equestria! I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t. I couldn’t contain it any longer and due to the fact I was now overjoyed beyond the capacity of rational thought I began leaping about the place shouting. “Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!” Much like Twilight had done when she got her cutie mark.
“Ooh, this is fun! I love bouncing up and down!” she giggled as she bounded along with me.
Upon realising I had company; I stopped bouncing and turned to face the excitement-radiating pink earth pony. “H-hello, Pinkie Pie.” I greeted nervously, unsure of how to react at this point.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened and her mouth grew into a smile upon the utterance of her name. I had seen enough MLP to realise where this was going. I braced myself as she began one of her inquisitive onslaughts. “You know my name?” She became excited in a heartbeat. “Ooh, how’ja do that, how’ja do that?”
“Magic,” I chuckled a little at that – since that phrase actually held water in this world.
“Ooh wowie! Can you cast a spell, I can’t since I’m an earth pony, but can you?” I laughed at Pinkie’s live wire ponyality; it was so much cuter in real life than through a television screen.
“Heh, no, Pinkie it’s just an expression. By the way do you even know what I am?”
Pinkie Pie shook her head. “Nope, not a cluedy-wuedy.” She smiled a squeeish type smile at me and I could have sworn I heard it.
“Well, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Winged Sheath, I am a human, I think your race might think of me as some sort of mythical creature, but unlike you’re species I have these.” I showed her my hands and wiggled my fingers. I had decided to use my pony OC name rather than my real name, on the premise that it would make more sense to the inhabitants here than my Earth name. I then looked down at my torn blue suit, caked in mud and black burn marks everywhere but the device, which was surprisingly undamaged.
“Ahh, curse this device, this was my best suit. Well at least I’ve still got my… hang on, Pinkie, you haven’t seen a bag anywhere where have you?”
Pinkie looked back over at the hole in the ground. “You mean that smoky thingy in the crater?”
I rushed back over to it and peered inside, the horrific scene meeting my eyes. “AHH, NO! My clothes, my fic notes! They’re all gone…gone…GONE... Oh for goodness sake!” I reached in, picked up the shock resistant bag and opened it. I was surprised to see my little laptop was still in peak condition, even though my notes were literally dead and buried I still had some nice fics to read and some music to listen to.
Pinkie was still laughing at my rather dramatic reaction. “Gee, you sound like Rarity, Sheathy.”
My eyes lit up as an idea sprung into my head on how I could solve my clothing problems. I couldn’t stay in my tattered suit after all. “Pinkie, do you know where Carousel Boutique is?” In hindsight that was a bit of a stupid question, Pinkie knew Ponyville like the back of her hoof, in my defence even though I was a Brony, to my knowledge I was the only Brony who was actually in Equestria, I hardly had the knowledge to navigate the place.
Pinkie nodded. “Sure I do, Sheathy. Why d’ya wanna go there? Do you wanna see Rarity, hmm?” She gave me a playful wink.
I laughed nervously. “Oh no-no-no, I’ll leave that to Spike. I just need some new clothes that’s all. Due to the fact.” I looked down in loathing at the crater. “My current items of clothing are indisposed at this point in time.” I took my laptop out of the shock-resistant bag and clipped the straps of my ruined one to the sleeve my laptop was encased in to make a sort of make-shift bag until I got something sturdier.
Pinkie nodded in agreement. “Yeah you’re right, you look a mess, c’mon then, Sheathy, Ponyville is this way!” She uttered the last few words in a sing-song voice.
I followed as she began bouncing towards Ponyville, but stopped when I realised a certain item was missing from my person. “Oh, Pinkie!” I called to her.
Pinkie Pie turned her head back towards me. “Yeah, Sheathy?” She fluttered her eyes playfully.
“You haven’t seen a guitar anywhere have you?”
Pinkie looked at me in confusion for a moment before realising what I meant. “Oh you mean this?” She trotted behind a nearby tree, procured my Voltaire-tuned guitar and placed it into my hands.
My eyes widened in astonishment, as I realised not a scratch was upon it. “Um…, Pinkie, if my other stuff is a pile of smouldering ash, why is my guitar perfectly intact?"
Pinkie Pie winked at me. “Duh, it wouldn’t be much of a story if your guitar got broken. C’mon, Sheathy let’s get to Rarity’s.” Upon that word, she began her bounce march towards Ponyville.
After sighing dejectedly at my ruined suit, I began to follow her toward the famous village. It was then I began trying my utmost to suppress giggling like a schoolcolt off his head on Nightmare Night confectionary, as the colourful villagers came into view. Everywhere I looked there were different ponies of all manners of colours just going about their business, a truly peaceful and quiet society – that is until they caught site of the mythical human being with half-seared clothing and an unknown instrument on its back. At which point the normal wavy noise of casual conversation was replaced with exclamations of surprise and intrigue, as the villagers bore witness to the fabled entity walking through the town, led by a bouncy pink mare. That’s one way of putting it. In truth though, it was more like this.
“Oh my goodness, look!”
“What’s that? I’ve never seen an animal like that before.”
“Haha, he’s all burnt!”
“Hush!”
“AAH, A MONSTER!” One little filly screamed.
I waved to a few of them as I passed by and I was surprised to see that some of them waved back, but then I remembered, this is Equestria, not Earth. Nobody or nopony judges you here, most of the time anyway. It was then the villagers grew more curious and decided to follow me to find out more. That few quickly became a fair few and then a downright unfair few. In fact, to put it bluntly, I had most of the village on my tail, minus the tail.
“Uh excuse me, mister?” A mauve coloured mare called to me as she trotted beside me, but before I could answer, she was shoved aside by another mare similar in colour. She was either the other pony’s sister, or maybe those cloned ponies in the show’s long shots weren’t errors after all.
“Hey!” She shouted as she was barged aside by another inquisitive bunch.
I needed to deal with this before it got out of hand and the simple questions turned into a paparazzi brawl, as the villagers squabbled to capture and hold my attention.
“Uh, Pinkie?”
The bouncing mare stopped in her tracks, completely oblivious to the crowd massing behind me. “Yeah, Sheathy, what’s up? We’re almost here.” I looked to see Carousel Boutique just a few yards across from the town hall, but with this mass of fan-like equine, it would be all but impossible to make it.
“Give me a second; I need to deal with them first.” I elevated my position by hanging on a nearby lamppost like a town crier, as I called the attention of the crowd to me.
“May I have your attention, please?” The crowd immediately went silent, which was probably due to the bewilderment that this ‘creature’ could actually speak English/Equestrian with some degree of skill. “Thank you. Ahem, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS! Hello to you all this fine morn–” I stopped to check my watch for the time and saw the dial shattered and scorched, completely useless and added to the list of casualties caused by that accursed device. “–day! I must say you all in fine vigour despite my rather otherworldly form.” I bowed to the crowd to show my appreciation. “I thank you for your lack of prejudice, I feel honoured to be in such discerning company.” I tittered when I saw some of the villagers puff their chests out with pride at my compliment. “Now I believe an explanation is in order for you all. I am merely a traveller of sorts. By means of magical teleportation, I have found my way here. Now if some of you are curious, no, my species do not wear tattered clothing, this was merely due to a miscalculation that caused me to spontaneously combust upon my arriving here. Thus my clothing ending up in the state you see now. I will answer any questions you have for me, but one at a time if you please.” As soon as I finished that statement, all the ponies raised their hooves to snag my attention. As my eyes combed the crowd, I saw a ginger coloured mare, her hoof barely visible due to the other ponies barging past her to make their hooves visible in the mass of candy-coloured appendages. I decided to let her ask me a question. “You there, what would you like to ask me?”
The ginger coloured mare jumped slightly in surprise. “Who me?” she asked in disbelief.
“Yes you I believe you had you han-er, hoof raised.”
“Oh, okay…uh…what species are you? You’re a little too smartly dressed to be from the Everfree forest.”
“I am a human, Miss Carrot Top, my name is Winged Sheath.”
The mare’s mouth made an ‘O’ shape at the utterance of her name – ah the magic of the Pony Wiki.
I looked back to the sea of raised hooves. “Anypony else? Yes you there!”
“Where are you from, Winged Sheath?”
“I am from a planet called Earth, my species like yours, is the dominant one in the world. But Earth I think is a whole dimension away from here.” I looked over to the boutique and back at the crowd. “Now I’m afraid I must bid you farewell I have an important engagement to get to. I thank you all for your kindness and not running away from me–” I bowed to them “–you have been pleasant company all, farewell.” And with that, the crowd dispersed as they returned to their daily errands and the audible yet incoherent hum of general conversation filled the village again. Jaysus, I must have sounded like Shakespeare talking to them the way I did, I think I might have overdone it a bit. Now where’s Pinkie? She’d better not have wandered off. I made my way across the street towards Sugar Cube Corner to see if she had popped in there. No such luck. I turned behind me to see if she was waiting to jump out on me with her party cannon or something. Again, surprisingly I found nothing and I began walking back to the lamppost to see if she was still there and I had simply missed her. However, I didn’t get more than ten yards when I nearly jumped out of my skin as a certain grey pegasus floated in front of me. Actually, when I say floated, it was more along the lines of she crashed headfirst into me, unable to slow down from the excitement of seeing me from the sky.
“LOOK OUT BELOW!” I think she screamed as she crash-landed into my chest, sending me a few yards backwards and landing on the non-existent pavement with a thud.
“OH MY GOSH I’M SO SORRY!” Derpy screamed in horror as she fumbled to help me up – only preventing me from getting up as I politely tried to fend off all four of her hooves.
“No need to apologise, Der- uh, Miss, it’s quite all right. You are a pegasus after all. That was a rather forceful greeting eh?” My words faded into yonder as the flustered mare continued to apologise without hearing me.
“Oh I’m so, so sorry I-I.”
Don’t say ‘I just don’t know what went wrong’ please, please, I’ll cry!
“I just don’t know what went wrong!” My heart nearly stopped as Derpy’s eyes welled up.
Oh, damn it! I instinctively threw my arms around the pegasus in a hug to stop her from crying. When my instincts released their grip on my rational mind, I felt a little awkward and ashamed at the fact I just hugged her out of the blue. But she made no effort to pull away. In fact, my chest pained a little in surprise as I felt her wrap her fore hooves around my shoulders and those famous yellow eyes looking into mine, a little blush and a thankful smile adorning her face. I figured I should say something or explain my behaviour, lest something else happened. “It’s okay, Derpy, I’m all right. I should really be asking if you’re okay given the speed at which you flew into me at!”
I smiled as Derpy giggled at my concern. “Aw, thank you, Mr Human.” She nuzzled my nose thankfully and released her hooves from me as I unfolded my arms. It was then I noticed a saddlebag on the ground a yard or two away from us, I walked over and picked it up before walking back to the blonde pegasus.
“I believe this is yours, Miss Hooves.” I held the bag to her, it was then I noticed that she didn’t recognise me, she had sent me a letter after all with the device, but that concern was the furthest thing from my mind at that moment.
“Oh, thanks.” She smiled as she took her bag from me. She opened her mouth to speak further, but paused for a second and put her hoof to her chin in thought before speaking again. “How do you know my name? I only put my initials on that letter.”
And in came my well-rehearsed answer. “Why everyone knows the famous Mailmare Derpy Hooves, you’re a rather well-known pony back where I come from, In fact, scratch well-known, you’re famous.”
Her eyes widened in amazement. “I’m famous, ohmygosh, ohmygosh! I didn’t know humans knew about me.” She swooned at the thought – luckily for me she didn’t inquire further into the matter.
“Well it was lovely to see you, Derpy, but I’d better be going now I’ll see you around.”
“See ya.” Derpy shouted as she flew off, but came back after only a few seconds. “Oh and sorry about your clothes, we forgot to tell you the journey might be a bit rough.” She laughed nervously before pointing to the device on my wrist. “Now take good care of that, it’s the only one in the world.” She turned to go.
“Wait; hold a moment, Derpy, why did I get this device?” I nearly slapped myself on the head for that question not being one of the first things to leave my mouth upon seeing her.
The blonde mare pondered for a moment, before taking a deep breath. “Well, the Doctor said he wanted to see if he could channel the TARDIS’s dimension jump capabilities into a more compact device in order to be able to travel between different dimensions more conveniently. But he wanted to test it first, so he travelled to your world to find a test subject and before long he found you. He told me he was sad to see you so fed up with your world, so he thought you’d be the most deserving of the device.” I nearly keeled over from shock. I could do naught but manage a few words.
“Th-thank you, Derpy” my eyes welled up, “you have bestowed upon me a life changing gift. You have no idea how much this means to me.” I hugged her once more in gratitude and she gladly returned it, her soft grey coat warm against my cheek. “And thank the Doctor for me too; tell him it was a success.”
“Don’t worry I will, have fun!” she said before taking to the skies, her blonde mane and tail shining in the now afternoon sun, or at least what I assumed from the sun slowly moving to the top of the sky.
BANG
“SURPRISE, SHEATHY!” Pinkie Pie screamed as her party cannon blasted me – causing me to leap about twelve feet in the air in fright.
“AAAAHHH! OH BY CELESTIA, PINKIE!” I shouted over the sounds from the cannon until it subsided. “Where in Equestria have you been?”
“Well while you were talking to the other ponies I went back to get my party cannon, but then I walked past Sugar Cube Corner and got hungry, so I stopped there to grab a cupcake and then I got tired so I had a nap on the bench outside and then I’m here talking to you about me and where I’ve been and then about what I di–”
I waved my hands in desperation to stop her talking. “Okay, okay I get the picture.”
“Picture; where?” She looked around in vain for a camera or photograph.
Oh by Celestia.
“No n-never mind Carousel Boutique is over there, thanks for escorting me here, Pinkie.”
“No problem, Sheathy, see ya!” She pulled me into a suffocating embrace to show her thanks, nearly shattering my sternum in the process.
My olfactory receptors were overcame with her sweet, strawberry candy floss scent as she continued to squeeze me. After a few moments her hooves where still around me. “Uh, Pinkie Pie, I kind of need to get going,” I said, trying to pull away as politely as I could before realising the crushing error I had just made. No! Why did I say that? Now she’s going to– I was cut off as even the mental air was squeezed out of me as she tightened her hug and I could feel my ribs beginning to buckle.
“Okay, I’m done,” Pinkie chirped as she released me and bounced off, leaving me bewildered at how care free she was with literally everything.
I climbed to my feet and continued to the boutique. I walked gingerly up the boutique’s stairs to the rather gallantly decorated front door. The sign was marked ‘Open’ and in English surprisingly – maybe the device had an Equestrian to English translator. I adjusted my guitar strap nervously as I placed my hand on the door handle. I pulled it down until it clicked. I took a moment to breathe in and calm myself as I prepared to meet my second favourite of the Main Six and stepped inside.
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