Merciful Beats

I woke up next to a sleeping Vinyl. Yeah it has been a short time since I came here and I already became a horse fucker...so what? There nit really animals so it isn't beastality. I mean come on what am I gonna do? If I am going to live here for the rest of my damn life then I might as well get used to the idea of-Twack-

"Son of a BITCH!" Vinyl swatted me with her tail across the damn face, i could feel a stinging sensation across my face.

"Mnn, hmm?" Vinyl started to shift around.

I took a long and deep sniff of pain. "That hurt." Vinyl looked over at me, first to my face then to my chest and back to my face.

"Sorry Anon, here let me make it up to you." She quickly went in for a hug. She wrapped her hooves around my lower abdominal, she then nuzzled into my chest. mnn so soooft. I smiled as I put my hand on top of her head.

"Still stings like hell but hey I'm not complaining."

"Sounds like you are to me." Vinyl nuzzled against my chest again, I could tell she was slightly uncomfortable with...ya know her horn. She was basically just rubbing her cheek against me. Still soft though.

"Hey if I was complaining I would be all pouty, like a certain white unicorn."

"Woah woah, dude I am not a whiner!" I laughed a bit.

"I meant Rarity." Vinyl took a second to think before she slightly blushed.

"Shut up Anon, lets get out of here."

"Ugh, do we have to, you could just stay in bed and let me use you as a pillow!"

"Sorry but I have some work to do, now go out or something I don't want you stuck in here doing nothing." She pulled away from me and headed for her door.

"Yes mom." She turned to me.

"Don't you dare start that!" I grinned.

"Okay mother." Her horn glowed and opened a window.

"One more time, go ahead and make my day." I couldn't tell if she was bluffing, I knew what she was planning. I gripped the bedsheets and spoke.

"Sorry mommy." I felt myself get wrapped up by her electric blue glow, I grabbed as many blankets as I could, hell I even took a pillow.

"I warned you." I began levitating towards the window she then simply let me fall. I bundled myself up in the giant ball of bedsheets and pit the pillow on my ass. Half a second later I felt a thump. Yep Im good. I unwrapped myself and looked up at the window to see Vinyl looking down at me. I stuck out my tongue and hopped up.

"Hey what about clothes?!" I was only wearing boxers.

"Not my problem!" She shut the windows.

I sighed, "I wonder what I should do.." As if on cue I saw a pink pony blink in front of me, I don't mean as in blink eyes. No I meant blink as in poof, in front of me. And what pony could possibly do that?

"Hey anon! I was wondering if you wanted to go and do something, all of my friends are busy and I thought to myself, 'hey Anon is my friend to so why don't I go and see if he is anywhere?' So hi here I am, are you busy?" Pinkie managed all of that in a second, my mind was still trying to process her words.

"What?...oh um..ye-er no..umm, what?"

Her smile never wavered. "Wanna go do something?"

"Oh, um sure." What's the worst that could happen?

And so it began.

. . .

I was sprinting as fast as I could, of course that would never match a flying Rainbow Dash. Wait, let me explain, Pinkie and I pranked Rainbow Dash...welp yeah that was pretty much it. So yep back to the story.

"GET BACK HERE ANON, I SWEAR WHEN I GET YOU-" I wasn't focused on her now I was too busy ducking through the market trying to find a way to get out of this alive. I scanned my surroundings. THERE! A cart of apples. Not much but it will get me out of her view. I heard a loud crash and saw the cyan pegasus laying in tip of a broken stand, I took the opportunity to jump into the apple cart, I dug myself down into the bottom as fast as I could.  "Come out and play Anon!" I could tell she lost me but she was still searching. I just hoped to god she didn't find me.

You're probably wondering what me and Pinkie did to make Dash so mad. Welp we traded her shampoo with black dye. It's only suppose to last a day. Either way she ignored the fact that Pinkie did the planning, no she just doesn't care about Pinkie, no instead she went straight for me.

After about ten minuets of hiding, I felt the cart move. uh oh. Guess I should jump out. "I swear to CELESTIA WHEN I FIND YOU ANON YOUR GONNA PAY!" Never mind. Looks like I'm riding this one out.

. . .

Thirty minutes...THIRTY DAMN MINUTES. My ass is numb and I swear I will be smelling like apple skin for a month. Finally the cart stopped. I didn't hear Dash's yells of anger, so I figured it was safe to leave. I jumped out only to see an orange pony looking at me.

"Hey there Applejack." I gave her an award winning smile.

"Explain." Obviously she wasn't having any of my bull shit.

I took a breath. "Vinyl kicked me out for the day so I could do something with my time other then be lazy, Pinkie got a hold of me and convinced me to pull a prank on Rainbow Dash, of course it went south, I mean the prank itself worked, we died Dash's hair black and well she figured out me and Pinkie did it, but instead of going after the mastermind she went after me, she chased me through the market, I had to find a way out of it so I jumped into a cart to hide. Turns out it was yours." I sucked in a deep breath trying to fill my lungs with air.

"Alrighty, well if you want to do something useful with your time, come and help out with the barn."

"Wait I thought you never needed help?"

"No that was just during the Zap apple harvest. Besides I learned my lesson bout nit taking help or breaks, last time I made the whole town sick and hurt some friends."

"Well I guess I could help." What could go wrong?

And so it began...again.

. . .

Tree kicking is not meant for humans! Applejack thought it would be useful if I helped her out with collecting apples...she even tried to give me proper techniques for kicking trees. Fuck that mess. I kicked a tree only to feel something in my leg pop following an outstanding sharp pain. defiantly pulled something. Some time later my leg felt a bit better so I thought I could help paint the barn, I mean seriously how bad could I mess this up! Ten seconds after painting the side of the barn I was covered in red paint. No explaining it, one second I was fine. Next I was covered. So yup. After getting washed up in Applejack's shower we decided to put up a fence. I swear something out there is plotting against me cause when I used the hammer of course it slammed into my thumb. Finally Applejack realized I was going to fuck everything up so she let me off the hook.

So in one our I managed to pull a muscle, get covered in paint, and smash the hell out of my thumb...yeah I think this is good progress.

. . .

I left the barn with absolutely no intentions on returning to that horrid place. I was walking home..or sorta limping home when the inevitable happened. I was slammed down onto the ground, face first. Thank god there were no rocks on the dirt road or I would be missing a few teeth. I turned around and looked at what tackled me. Of course. Rainbow Dash.

"I found you!" She was straddling me in a rather awkward position.

"Heheh...heyy Dashie whats up?" I tried to shift around but damn man...these ponies are heavy.

"No! You will not get out of this! No you are going to go to my home and wash all this stuff out of my hair now!"

I shook my head at her. "You live in the clouds Dash. I cant walk on those."

She sighed. "You obviously haven't kept up with me, my house was blown away so I pulled in some favors and got a new home...on the ground." Well there goes that. And damn I think I can feel my ribs being crushed.

"Fine...but why isn't Pinkie getting in trouble!?"

"She will get hers but your first."

"Well lead the way." She finally got off of me, she lifted into the air for a second then went back down.

"Get on Anon." I stood up giving her a what the hell look.

"Wut? No lets just walk!" She shook her head.

"I don't like going slow dude." I frowned and mounted her. whats the worst that could happen? when will I learn?

"Just try not to give me a heart-" She shoot out into the air shutting me the hell up and making my legs clench onto her.

. . .

Okay first, fuck flying that fast. Second, have you ever rode a pegasus..pretty cool..when you can actually open your eyes, this pegasus was moving to fast for me to open my eyes. Third, have you ever broken the sound barrier? Well I just did with Dash, it was amazing. Time itself seemed to slow down even though we were racing through the skies, Dash had such a look of concentration on her face..kinda cute. Either way pretty fucking awesome.

. . .

We arrived at Rainbow Dash's new home. Nothing special to mention really, just another house near the market. She opened the door for me but I shoved her in first, I then slammed the door behind me.

"Lets get this over with."

"You didn't have to shove me you know."

"I don't care just take me to the shower." This would probably be very...very awkward.

"No patience? Oh well." She headed to a room and opened the door...every thing was fucking blue. Like a baby blue though, her curtain her shower, hell even her toilet was a baby blue. Im a but surprised that she didn't have rainbow colors. I looked at her as I walked in, she had a faint blush across her face.

"To bad I have to wash all of that cool black dye out of your hair, I think it is kinda...hot." Her face lit up even more now. She stepped into the shower.

(Trolling time sorry I have a reason for this.)

"Never again." I shuddered a bit, over all it was...definatly good.

"Oh come on just one more time!" Her mane was back to normal but she wanted to try it again, i shook my head frantically at her. "You're no fun."

"Shut up, Imma go home see you...whenever." I left her house not waiting for a response.

So yeah, today I gor chased by a crazy mare, pulled a muscle, spilled paint all over me, smashed the shit outta my thumb, broke the sound barrier, and washed out dye from a pony....and tasted the rainbow...heh skittles. Today...was alright.