Twilight waved one last time before she closed the top half of the door to Fluttershy’s cottage. With Fluttershy gone for her weekend vacation, it was up to the Great Princess Twilight Sparkle to take care of the animals in the meantime. Spike was to stop by once in the evening and once in the morning to check on her, and report what was happening in the library, but Twilight was confident he could handle everything on a quiet summer weekend like this one. With the foals out of school, there was less demand for books at the public library. Twilight had taken the prudent measure of locking up the more mature books in the basement, as Spike didn’t need to read “Fifty Manes of Grey.” The lack of saddle-buster novels would further reduce business, but that was to her advantage this weekend.
She turned around to survey her temporary domain. Animals of every size and shape stared up at her expectantly. Birds peered at her from the tops of shelves, in between pieces of dusty china, or perches set near the ceiling. The bear gave her a toothy smile as he watched her from the open window, his head and folded arms resting on the windowsill, framed by soft sunlight and pastel curtains. A pair of calico cats sat on the worn couch and looked at her with unblinking eyes and unreadable expressions. An entire family of mice watched her from their home in the baseboard, their furry faces taking up the entirety of the tiny door frame. A beaver, curled up on the hearth, watched her with one eye open. Even the fish in the large tank, set at the end of the hall, seemed to watch her as they floated between the colorful coral. Twilight sniffed once and smiled; she meant to say, “Hello, I’m going to take care of you.”
Instead, she gagged and fell to the floor in a coughing fit. The smell in here was overpowering, and it wasn’t just the animals. Their food was also quite pungent; Fluttershy had prepared enough for all of them. “Little help?” Twilight croaked out, holding up a hoof. Instantly, a glass of clear liquid was placed there. “T-thanks,” Twilight rasped out. She rolled onto her back and drank.
PPPBBBBTTTT!
Twilight spat out the drink, but not before she had swallowed a bit. It tasted like a cross between manure and acid. Twilight stuck her tongue out and scrubbed it with her bare hooves. It did little to alleviate the taste, but it was all she could do at the moment. Still coughing, she sat up and looked at the floor just beyond the edge of the entryway rug she was lying on.
Sitting there, brow flat with crossed arms, was Angel. He had a sort of smirk on his face while he watched Twilight. The other animals, even the bear, seemed to shrink away from him. “What IS this?” Twilight asked, pointing to the empty glass. The liquid had spilled out when she dropped it onto the rug. Great, I’m here for less than one minute and I’ve already gotten the rug stained, Twilight thought to herself. Angel pointed to the fish tank with one paw.
“Why would you give me fish-tank water?!” Twilight exclaimed, her eyes burning a hole into the diminutive rabbit’s nose. Angel simply pointed to Twilight, and then to the door. “I don’t think so; I promised Fluttershy I’d take care of her animals, and that’s what I’m going to do. Including you.”
Angel’s eyes narrowed, and his heart-shaped nose pulled back ever so slightly. He bared his tiny rabbit teeth, and his fur seemed to puff up, making him look like an oddly shaped snowball. Twilight scoffed and said, “I’ve faced Nightmare Moon, dragons, a rampaging avatar of chaos, an insane pony king, and even high school. What could you possibly do?” Except for Angel’s, every animal eye in the house widened. Twilight didn’t see the animals move, but they suddenly seemed… smaller. That came out a little harsh, but it’s true. He’s just a little bunny. So why do I feel like I’m shaking my flank at fate? Twilight thought to herself as her eyes grew just a bit wider along with all the animals’.
Somehow, Angel gave off the impression he was a lit stick of dynamite, sitting at the edge of the rug. His little arms were at his sides, and his entire body trembled. His face was flush as he stared at Twilight with dark eyes and eyebrows that formed a pointed ‘V’. Instead of detonating, he suddenly stopped. His mouth held that smirk again. Twilight had a sinking feeling in her stomach, when suddenly, Angel reached up and snagged a carrot from a bowl sitting on the couch’s hoofrest. With a serene expression, he crunched into it. Twilight blinked and thought, That’s not menacing, so why do I have this feeling…
A sad, mournful cry came from a little green head as it poked over the rim of the bowl. A small turtle, hidden from Twilight’s view behind the hoofrest, peeked over the edge of the now-empty bowl. “HEY! Was that his food? Give that back!” Twilight shouted at the diminutive rabbit. Still cool as a cucumber, Angel spat out the remains of the carrot. It was only a sliver of orange and the rest of the greenery, but it was enough to rocket across the floor and into the legs of the table at the end of the hall. With a soft thump, the entire table wobbled for a moment. The tank of fish on top also wobbled precariously, water splashing over the rim with each back and forth sway. The third time it swung in Twilight’s direction, she burst into action. “What are you doing?!” she shouted, racing across the hall to catch the tank. She caught it just as the whole thing was about to topple over, but her horn gently poked the center of the glass.
crick-crick-crack!
The entire front panel of the tank turned into a spider web of cracks, radiating from the point of ‘impact.’ She went walled-eyed as she watched the cracks slowly spread from the center of her vision. Why didn’t I just use magic to catch this? Twilight thought, but it was too late. Angel darted in between her hooves and used his tail to tickle her tummy. “Heh hehehe, s-stop it!”
CRASH!
The fish tank slammed into the floor with a resounding crash. Water, bits of coral, rainbow-colored pebbles, and dying fish were everywhere. “Oh-my-gosh!” Twilight quickly lifted all of the wiggly fish in her magic. A lesser magic user might not have been able to hold so many tiny, slippery creatures, but Twilight was up to the task. She flew into the kitchen, and filled a large glass with water from the sink. The fish plopped into it, glad to be able to breath again.
Twilight landed, whirled around, and faced the living room. Her right eye was twitching as she scanned the area for him. “Angel, get out here, right now!” she growled. All of the animals were hiding. The birds had retreated to the highest available perches, the mice had disappeared into their hole, and the bear was nowhere to be seen. The turtle was the sole remaining creature. He was still on the couch, but only because he was in the process of running away, one glacial step at a time. Angel did not deign to appear. Twilight stomped into the living room, then splashed into the hallway when she heard a sound.
Flush
Her ears swiveled forward and up. The toilet in the upstairs bathroom was being used, and there was nopony else in the house. Picking her way slowly down the hall, without stepping on glass, Twilight looked up the stairs and called out, “I know you’re up there, and you’re in big trouble, mister!” She waited a moment before trotting upstairs. She looked down the hall, searching for any sign of Angel, when she heard the toilet flush again. “What are you doing?” she asked, as she used her magic to open the bathroom door.
She looked inside, and her eyes grew to double their normal size. Angel was standing on the tank of the toilet, holding a bag of pellets. They made a fine hiss as they streamed out of the bag and into the toilet. “No-no-no-no-NO!” Twilight yelled as she snatched Angel and the bag in her magic. “What are you doing? What is this stuff anyway…?” she questioned, as she looked at the bag’s label. It was some kind of food for an animal, but she never found out which creature it belonged to, because the first thing she read was “dehydrated.”
Uh-oh.
The house trembled for a moment before the toilet vomited up a sludge of water and mushy food bits. “AHHH!” Twilight screamed as she was violently thrown out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Sputtering, she stood as the empty pellet bag floated against her front leg. She shook herself life a dog, showering murky water in every direction. The sludge cascaded down the stairs as Twilight glanced around. Crud, where did he go? I must have lost my hold on him, she thought.
Quork!
Twilight’s ears perked up; a bird was in distress. Picking her way down the muddy stairs and over the broken fish tank, she peered into the living room. She gasped and asked, “What happened to you?!” A quivering sparrow was perched on top of the lamp next to the couch. At least, Twilight thought it was a sparrow. The poor thing had no feathers! She was just a miniscule dot of flesh with legs and a beak. Twilight narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth. “Did Angel do this?” The little bird nodded and pointed a featherless wing toward the window. Twilight turned just in time to see Angel with a vicious grin on his face, as he hopped outside and dropped the window pane.
Splat!
“What the…?” A viscous liquid spattered all over Twilight’s face, neck, and chest. She wiped it off her eyes with her front hooves to clear them. Looking at her own limbs, she saw the liquid was like clear molasses. “Is this… glue?” she said with rising panic. The window pane was wedged open with a squirt bottle, more of the glue dripping out of the nozzle. Grinding her teeth, she quickly trotted into the kitchen toward the sink. The glue was dripping into her eyes, making her eyelids sticky, and making it increasingly difficult to see. She couldn’t be blamed for not seeing Angel standing on the open windowsill over the sink. When she reached for the valve to let the precious, cleansing water flow, he whistled at her to get her attention.
“Huh?”
Puff
Twilight stumbled back, sputtering. She saw Angel for only a split-second before he drew in a breath, then blew on the small mound of feathers he held in both paws. Instantly, they blasted throughout the kitchen and into her face. “Why you little…!” Grinding her teeth, she blindly fumbled for the knob to turn on the sink. Little sparrow feathers stuck to her everywhere there was glue. After her third try, she found the knob and turned it. Holding her feather-encrusted hoof out, she expected to feel water.
Blorp
Wet sludge oozed out of the faucet. A combination of water and animal food covered the feathers, which covered the glue, which covered her forehooves. “Oh you have got to be kidding me! That stuff is in the pipes, too?!” Groaning, she used her magic and plucked off a feather. “OW!” It ripped off with a painful pull on her eyelid.
“Ow.”
“Ow.”
“Ow.”
She tore off enough feathers so she could see. Opening her eyes, she looked around for the little troublemaker. She gasped when she saw the sink was about to overflow with food sludge. She quickly turned off the faucet, leaving a few sticky feathers on the knob.
A low growl issued from the front door. Twilight turned to see Angel holding the glass of water with the rescued fish over his head. He was standing in the entryway, trying to balance the large glass without it toppling over. Twilight crouched, snuck up behind him, and said with smug satisfaction, “I’ve got you now.” She was about to lift both Angel and the glass with her magic when a massive, furry claw nearly took her head off! Yelping, she backpedaled.
The claw shot into the glass, splashing more water onto the rug. Twilight’s eyes followed the claw, arm, and shoulder, until she finally saw the face of the friendly grizzly bear. The front door was open, but his bulk wouldn't allow him to get inside any further without breaking the walls. He was wedged in the front door, his hind legs outside and his front paws inside. He brought the glass to his muzzle and peered at the fish with a predatory smile.
“HEY! Let go! Those aren’t for you!” Twilight shouted as she snatched away the glass and fish with her magic. The bear reached after it, but gave up when Twilight held it far out of reach behind her. With a forlorn sigh, the bear relaxed. He huffed once, then backed up out of the house…
Or at least, he tried to.
With a sound like a rope being pulled tight, he pushed into the floor with both front paws. The door frame flexed dangerously before he grunted and gave up. Twilight looked at the bear wide-eyed. “Are you stuck?” With a pathetic frown on his face, the bear nodded. Twilight sighed and said, “Alright, just wait there and I’ll get you out.” Still using her magic, she set the fish down next to the lamp, then took a step forward.
Her hoof splashed again into the puddle, which ran from the entryway, into the hall, all the way upstairs and into the bathroom. Inside said bathroom, Angel looked into the mirror with his most devilish grin. Holding the hair dryer, he flipped the switch to the “on” position, and dropped it onto the ground. Twilight heard the sound of a powerful hair dryer for only a split-second before—
BZZZZART
The bear tilted his head at the strange pony. The lights throughout the house suddenly went dark, but it didn’t bother him. It was still daylight outside, and he could see in darkness. What made him tilt his head was the way the pony was acting. One second she was going to help him, the next she just stood there, rigid, with all of her hair and feathers sticking straight out. She coughed out a little smoke and fell to her side.
Trembling, Twilight rose to her hooves, then turned down the hallway. Her right eye was twitching again. Her brain struggled to process what happened, but she knew it was Angel’s doing, and he had to be in the hall or upstairs. With a little splash, he hopped from the bottom step into the hallway. Twilight’s eyes locked onto him. “Come here, Angel,” she said, with deadly calm. Angel raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “Come here so I can MURDER-YOU-TO-DEATH!” Twilight screamed as she charged down the hall at him.
Crunch… tinkle…
Twilight stopped. Angel darted to her right, into a dark hole in the baseboard. A tear dribbled down her face as a bead of glass skipped across the hardwood floor and down the hall, stopping when it hit the opposite wall. She raised one shaky hoof to her face and looked at it. Another shard of glass was firmly embedded into it, blood oozing out around the wound.
Twilight blinked once.
“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Twilight screamed in pain as her horn lit up. With a violent yank, the shard came out with a drop of blood. Standing on three legs, she lit her horn up to see in the darkened hall. Her rage had caused her to forget about the broken fish tank, and the darkness hid the glass well. In the light of her horn, she could see many glittering bits all around her, and another mouse hole that she hadn’t noticed before in the baseboard. Her eyes went wide as she thought, Wait a minute— the other mouse hole is on the opposite side of the living room. If I can just get there, I can catch the little flank-hole when he hops out. Then I can calmly SNAP-HIM-IN-HALF!
Grinning maniacally, hair and feathers sticking every which way, Twilight limped down the hall. She used her magic like a broom to sweep away the water and glass in front of her, keeping her horn lit, just in case. Hobbling into the living room, she called out, “Angel, Aaannngeell. I know you’re in there.” She hobbled toward the mouse hole just under the window. A small puddle of congealed glue had dripped onto the floor, a gossamer strand leading to the bottle still holding the window open. “Come out, Angel. Let’s talk about this like civilized ponies.” This sounded reasonable, but Twilight had the sort of grin one wore when looking through a hole in the bathroom door after having just axed through it.
Fwoosh
The stove in the kitchen lit up. Twilight turned her head, but not her body, like a possessed doll. Still smiling with a glint of insanity in her eye, she hobbled into the kitchen. Angel had his back to her and was holding something, his furry silhouette backlit by the stove-top. Damn little bugger is fast, but I’ve got him now, she thought to herself. Without further warning, she grabbed him in her magic and spun him so his nose was an inch from hers. Her eyes narrowed, but her grin grew wider. Angel’s ears fell and he seemed to shrink a bit.
“You started the stove up for me? Great!” Twilight said, ecstatic. “I’ve always wanted to try rabbit with…” She glanced at the pan on the stove. Several cobs of corn were in the pan, stacked like a pyramid. “…corn. Sure, why not? For science!” She looked back to Angel. “Got anything to say for yourself?”
pop
Angel just blinked, his expression neutral. The sound was small, but rang out in the quiet house. Twilight held Angel with her magic, and looked past him to the source of the sound. “Is that dry corn on the cob?” she asked. Angel nodded vigorously and smiled.
pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop
With wide eyes, Twilight backpedaled as the kitchen became flooded with popcorn. It pushed her out in a fluffy tide. She held onto Angel, determined to enact punishment. “Oh no you don’t, you’re not getting away that easily!” She glared at him as they both surfed into the living room on popcorn. Angel put both paws in his mouth and let out a shrill whistle.
Quork?
The air was filled with the flapping of wings and feathers. “Gyah!” Twilight was engulfed in avians. “I forgot about them!” Hidden near the ceiling and upon shelves were Fluttershy’s birds. They returned with a vengeance, and a hunger for popcorn. Since Twilight was effectively buried in the stuff, she was ruthlessly pecked.
“OW! OW! OW!”
Rolling out of the mess like she was on fire, Twilight struggled to her hooves. She winced when she accidentally put weight on the injured one. Looking around, she tried to find Angel, but to no avail.
Ding-dong
“WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!” Twilight cried, on the verge of tears. She looked at the front door… bear. Yes, front bear. The bear glanced over his shoulder at the wall, then just shrugged. Hooves splashed down the stairs.
The lights flickered on. “Oh my.” Fluttershy’s tiny voice came from the hallway. She floated into the living room, avoiding the glass, holding a fire extinguisher in her hooves. “I’m so sorry, Twilight.”
Twilight’s eye twitched again. “I’m fine, totally fine. I’ve got this. Him. Pet sitting, got it covered. Spike can do it, so can I. Easy. I’m a Princess.” She giggled, still holding an insane smile.
Fluttershy looked at Twilight and grimaced. “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I forgot Angel, and I didn’t realize it until I was at the train station. I flew back here as fast as I could. I’m so impressed with you, Twilight. You did so well. A-plus,” she said, with pity in her eyes and a small smile.
Twilight looked around the house. Water was all over the floor, the frightened fish were in a drinking glass, shards of the shattered fish tank were in the hallway, the bear was jammed into the door, glue was dripping onto the floor near the window, and a tidal wave of popcorn surrounded by birds was flowing from the kitchen. Twilight herself was covered in feathers, said feathers and every hair on her body stuck out at odd angles, she was standing on three legs with her fourth hoof bleeding, and her expression showed more than just a hint of insanity. “THIS IS A-PLUS WORK?!”
“Oh, yes. I once forgot Angel for fifteen minutes in the bathroom. It cost 20,000 bits to remodel. You’ve been here with him for over an hour, and I think we can clean this up ourselves in a day. I’m just glad the house isn’t on fire.”
FWOOSH
The popcorn caught fire in the kitchen; Twilight had forgotten that the stove was still lit. Fluttershy giggled, “Oh, there we are.” She flew over Twilight and used the fire extinguisher to put out the popcorn and the stove-top. Digging through the popcorn, she turned off the gas line. Winking at Twilight, she said, “We wouldn’t want the house to explode. Now, I still have to get going, but I want to get you situated here before I go. Let me see that hoof.”
Twilight just stared at Fluttershy with wide eyes and her mouth agape. Fluttershy gently took the injured hoof and bandaged it. Frowning, she said, “There isn’t much more I can do. It’s a clean cut, and you already took the glass out.” Fluttershy held out a hoof and called, “Angel. Come here, Angel. It’s time to go.” Angel opened the window, then hopped over the glue, onto Fluttershy’s outstretched foreleg, then onto her head. He had a carrot clutched in his paws. “Aw, you were just in a bad mood ‘cause you were hungry.” She turned to the center of the living room and said, “Attention, I need all paws on deck.”
Animals exploded out of every nook and cranny of the house. Twilight blinked; there were so many animals in the living room it was amazing they could all fit. Fluttershy whispered, “Okay, I need every paw to help Twilight fix up the house while I’m gone. Do everything she asks and don’t make her work too hard— she’s hurt.” The animals looked at Twilight; several rolled their eyes, and the bear even chuckled. “HEY!” Fluttershy suddenly barked, staring at the crowd of animals. “Do it, or I’ll leave Angel here all weekend without Twilight!” she growled like a military drill sergeant.
Every animal in the room went white as a sheet. Fluttershy relaxed and said, “Thank you again for doing this, Twilight. I would like to stay and help out, but I’ve got to go now.” She floated down the hall and up the stairs to her room. Twilight heard the bedroom window shut a moment later. There was a crash, and Twilight was scooped up in the bear’s arms before she could react. The birds attacked the popcorn. The cats ate the soggy food on the stairs. The beaver began to fix the shattered door frame. Twilight relaxed into her “bear-couch” and directed traffic.
“Ahh,” she sighed as she sipped on a lemonade, brought to her by the turtle. “You’re all just little angels.”
