Dirty Deeds

by Thunder Quill

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Anthro, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2631

Have a pony you hate? Tell me, and him/her will end up dead

Hello, I'm glad you saw the ad. Come in to my office, tell me who It is you hate, why, and how you want them dead.(PM me with who needs to die, and what story their in, and what specific chapter) Oh, Where are my manners I'm Thane Kull, and you are?

also, the new cover image is temp, I need to find a image like this, but ponified, if you can draw one, or know where one is, That would be most appreiciated.

Published 2014-02-12 17:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 17:50:03 UTC

My first Hit. Story: Past Sins. Hit: Celestia. Crimes: Foalnapping.

I was in my office, waiting for a client to show up. He wanted to discuss the a hit. Oh, sorry, I’m forgetting my manners, I do that sometimes. My name is Thane Kull, I am a villain killer. Not a villain in real life. I am a hit-man of villains in MLP fanfictions... What? Don't tell me you’ve never read a story where somepony did something really shitty things and you wanted them to pay for it? I have a full hit-list. It includes, Blueblood, many, many times, Filthy Rich, Cherilee’s dad from bookend 2. And Scootaloo’s dad, from any and all scootabuse stories. I’ve hunted them down, and destroyed them, In the most fitting way possible. After I finished my list, I felt, like nothing. So I started this Business, called Dirty Deeds, to punish those who deserve to be punished. You may ask how I was able to do these things. Trade secret, sorry.

*RING*

That must be the client. I got up, and walked towards the door. I looked through the peep hole. “It couldn't be.” I said to myself. I opened the door, and there was the client. It was my old friend Steel Aurora! I was about to say something, but he raised his hand.

“Hey, Thane, I know you're gonna record the meeting, so before we start, I just want to say call me Steel Aurora.” I shrugged.

“Ok, that’s cool.” We walked into my study and sat down. “When I got your message as an annon, I didn't know what to expect, To kill Princess Celestia, Damn man. What did she do to deserve this?” I asked. “She took Nyx away from her Mom, Twilight when she was only 7 years old!!!” Steel said as anger started to rise in him. “She did nothing to deserve that! Yes she might have been Nightmare Moon reincarnated but she did nothing bad until after Celestia Took her!
and because of that she became hated by everybody nobody liked her accept for eleven people.” Steel said. I raised up my hand to stop him before he got into full rant mode.

“I get it, you hate Celestia for what she did to Nyx, Is their any specific way you want her to die, or do you want her to suffer?”

“I think she deserves torture for the rest of her life, she ruined Nyx’s life so its only fair.” Steel said.

“Ok, what kind of torture?” I asked, intrigued.

“hmm…. break her, emotionally, make her watch pictures and videos of luna suffering for
the crimes she made.” Steel offered

“I like that, but after a while, she will just break down, just a shell, maybe you try to break her physically, then make her suffer with her emotions?” I asked.

‘Yeah sounds good heh heh heh heh….” Steel laughed menacingly.

“Ok, so i have free reign to break her physically?” I asked.

“Yes. yes you do.”

“That’s good, and one last question, you want me to set up a wireless video uplink? So you can see her suffer no matter what?”

“Yes” Was all he said.

“Ok, I’m gonna set it up so that nopony will remember Celestia, no one will remember what she did, no one will try to find her. Also, I am going into the story, but when I do, I am creating an Alternate Universe, which is separate from the regular universe from the book.” I told him.

“Perfect.” Steel said.

“Ok, you can leave now, I need to check what I tech I need, and what weapons and torture tools.” I said, showing him to the door.

“Thank you for what you do.” he said, leaving. I walked back into my study, and pulled a book, the art of war. The wall next to the bookshelf slid backwards, and a stairway was revealed. I walked down it, and it opened it up into an armory. I walked towards one of the walls, which held weapons of all size and calibers. I picked out my bastard sword also known as a hand-and-a-half sword, because the sword can be used with one hand or two, my silenced sniper rifle, and my combat knife. From another wall, I picked out a peculiar gauntlet, which gave me magical abilities. This is what I would use to make everyone forgot Celestia, even her sister. I paused at that, that was cruel, even for me. I’ve done some nasty shit in my life, but to have everyone forget her, even her sister, and then torture her for the rest of her life. But then I remembered, I was doing this for Nyx, and Twilight, my personal Hero, and Favorite of the mane six. I then walked towards my Dimensionator. I put the info that I needed into the machine.

Story: Past Sins.

Chapter: 10, Treachery,

Part: When Nyx was taken to the Ritual.

I powered up the portal, and put on my gauntlet. I walked towards the portal, and stood in front of it. There I stood for a minute. I was wondering what I was doing. I was about to torture a mare, one who made mistakes. But then I remembered the mental image of a terrified Nyx, when she was taken away from her mother. That forced my hand, and I walked through the portal.

When I reappeared on the other side of the portal, I was in the shadows of the ritual room. The spell was about to take place. I guess I wouldn't need my sniper. I pulled out my sword, and walked towards the nearest cultist. I took swiped at his head, which flew across the room. Everypony froze and stared at me.

“Nyx, please come here, after I stop these meanies, I’m gonna bring you back to Twilight.” I told her with a smile. She looked apprehensive, but then, before she could move, a red aura of magic stopped her.

“You shall not stop the return of Nightmare Moon!” Nexus yelled. I groaned.

“Really? You yell your plans right in front of the Princess?! Wow, you really are stupid.” I facepalmed. He froze, and turned to face Celestia, who had gotten over her initial shock, and was glaring at Nexus with hatred. “Welp, time to die.” I said, charging at another cultist, stabbing him in the heart. Nexus put Nyx in a magical box, and locked it. He then cast spells rapid fire at Celestia, who brought up a magical shield. Another cultist fell to my sword. That was the last one, as Nexus fell to Celestia’s magic. I walked towards the box, in which Nyx was crying inside of.

“Wait, whatever you are, let me, you don't have-” She went slack jawed, my hand glowed black, as I placed my hand on the box, it unlocked. I opened the box, and Nyx jumped at me, burying her face in my chest, still crying. I was shocked for a second, but I recovered, and started soothing her.

“There, there, Your mother is worried sick about you.” I shot a death glare at Celestia, who looked at me strangely. Nyx hiccuped, and looked at me.

“Why should she be worried, she didn't even fight when Celestia tried to take me away.”

“Nyx, Twilight Sparkle loves you like no mother loves her daughter, she would gladly give her life to save yours, you know that you might be nightmare moon?” She nodded slowly. “The reason Celestia brought you here was to make sure that you wouldn't grow up to be her again, I’m not saying what she did was right, it is the exact opposite of it, she took a daughter away from her mother, and that is one of the most despicable things ever, and trust me, Twilight only wants what’s best for you. Now, speaking of Twilight, lets get you back to her.” I gave Nyx another smile. I gave Celestia another glare. “Don't think I’m done with you.” I told her. I raised my hand, and teleported us outside the Ponyville Library.

“How is it that you have so much power?” Celestia asked in amazement. I snorted.

“Like I’ll ever tell you.” I knocked at the door, and a muffled,

“Go away!” could be heard through the door. Nyx looked about to cry again. I put a hand on her head,

“She thinks it’s some person looking for a book of some kind.” I said reassuringly. I knocked at the door again. “Twilight Sparkle, there is a little filly here who wants to see her mother!” I yelled through the door. There was a crash, then we heard more crashes as somepony ran towards the door. It opened with a crash, and a very disheveled looking Twilight Sparkle with puffy red eyes, which widened when she saw Nyx. She let out a sob, and gave Nyx a hug, one that only a mother and a daughter who love each other more than life itself.

“Nyx!!!! I thought you were gone forever! CELESTIA!!!!! NEVER TAKE NYX AWAY FROM ME AGAIN!!!” Twilight shouted at Celestia, who was taken aback.

“I know, and i’m sorry, I never should have done it. But it’s all ok now right?” she asked hopefully, before I closed her mouth with my magic.

“Be quiet.” I told her sharply. Twilight looked slightly taken aback, while Nyx giggled. “Twilight, Nexus was part of the Children of the nightmare, and they tried to make Nyx Nightmare moon again. Celestia didn't know, but she still needs to be punished for what she did. She took Nyx away from you, and that’s unforgivable.” I told her. She nodded, and Celestia looked really shocked.

“T-Twilight? You agree with him?” She asked. Twilight nodded.

“Celestia, you took my daughter away from me, I will never forgive you for that.” She said.

“Twilight, may I talk to you and Celestia alone?” I asked her.

“Don't I get a say in this?” Celestia asked.

“NO! As far as i’m concerned, you are no longer my Princess, or my mentor.” Twilight said. “Nyx, go up and play with Spike.” Nyx beamed and ran upstairs to play with Spike. “What did you plan to do with her?” Twi asked.

“Well, before I get into that, I should Introduce myself, My name is Thane Kull, and I am a Hit man. People in my world, where your world is a Tv show, create fanfictions of your world. One of them, is Past Sins, which details this Alternate Universe, where you Twilight, find Nyx, and everyone here, is a character in a book. In the original version of the book, The Children of the Nightmare succeed in turning Nyx back into Nightmare.” Celestia let out a triumphant HMPH! I glared at her once again. “Would you like to say something?”

“That just proves that I was right! Nyx was destined to become Nightmare Moon again! She must be destroyed or banis-” She was cut off as she was slapped by both mine and Twilight’s magic.

“She was only turned into Nightmare Moon because of your magic!” I snarled at her. “The Children of the Nightmare used the magic of the spell that you were going to cast to see into her future to change her! So YOU get no right to talk! Now, where was I? Oh yes, In this universe, I stopped the cult from turning Nyx into Nightmare again, and that means, right now, we are in a alternate universe, don't worry, its not gonna be destroyed, its just as stable as the original. I was sent here, to punish Celestia for what she did. People from my world, they read those fanfictions that I have mentioned before and there are villains, who have pissed some people off, I mean really pissed them off. They don't even have to be villains, I pass judgement, on who the people want.” I explained to them. I cast a spell to freeze Celestia, so she could not hear us or see us. “Twilight, I was hired to torture Celestia, for what she did to you.” I told her.

“Torture? Why?” She asked shocked.

“My friend really hates what Celestia has done, as do many other people in my world. Celestia has made many enemies for what she did. I won't go into details, but I am going to make nopony in this world ever remember Celestia, It’ll be like she doesn't exist, the ponies of this world will be given false memories, of Luna being the sole Princess, and that she has never turned into Nightmare Moon, you and Nyx will be allowed to live out your lives in happiness.” I informed her. “If you want, I can make you retain all these memories, all the good memories of Celestia, but also the bad, but I must warn you, If you ever mention Celestia again, the spell will be broken, and everyone will remember. It would be for the best, If I took away your memories of Celestia taking away Nyx, and replace them with memories of the Children of the Nightmare foalnapping Nyx, and me coming to the rescue.” I told her. “But I will only do that if you want me too, I won't change your memories if you don't want me too.”

“Why wouldn't you change my memories without my consent? You are going to do do it to so many others.” She asked. I grew red in the face.

“Well, in my world, I kinda always had a crush on you.” I said. “Anyway, do you want me to replace your memories?” She thought, long and hard, about what she wanted to do. She sighed.

“Yes.” I gave her a reassuring look.

“Ok, is there anything else you want to do before I cast the spell?” She nodded, and walked towards me, and gave me a kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, for saving my daughter.” She told me with a smile. I smiled back, and took Celestia outside. I cast the spell, and took the portal back to my world. Back on the other side, my robo-butler, Wadsworth, was cleaning the armory.

“Wadsworth, prep the torture chamber.”

“Yes sir.” He floated towards the torture chamber.

A few hours later…

Ex-Princess Celestia awoke to a blast of freezing cold water.

“GAH-WHA-HUH-HOW!!!” She spluttered, not knowing what was going on.

“I see you're awake Celestia.” I told her. Her eyes narrowed.

“I know that voice, you were the one who rescued Nyx. Where am I, what am I doing here?” She asked.

“You are in my world, in my torture room.” She blanched.

“T-Torture? Why am I here?” She asked fearfully.

“You have committed a crime, by taking Nyx away from Twilight, and many people in my world want you to suffer for that.” I turned to Wadsworth. “Make sure she suffers as much as she can, without having her killed. Oh, and Celestia?” I turned back to the Ex-Princess. “I have taken all of your magic away, but I have left your immortality, so don't even try to escape.” I left the room, I really didn't want to watch this.

Couple of days later…

“So there you are, a complete recording of my adventure. From the Rescue of Nyx, to the torture of Celestia.” I told Steel, who was sitting next to me.

“Thank you, old friend, this means a lot.” Steel said. “Well, if there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave.” He got up and left the building, and I was left waiting for my next contract.

Author's Note

so, here is my first hit, If you want somepony dead, just send me a PM, and they'll die

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheep.