I sat on an anvil in Appleloosa commons. The massive open space behind the bar was filled with tools and a few shower stalls leading out of the back of our pump station. "Yeah, I don't know." I scratched my head with my tongs, watching as Breaburn paced back and forth. "How things workin' with you and Carol?"
Braeburn stopped his pacing, jerking forward slightly and causing his hat to fall forward on his head. He laughed a few times and fixed his hat. "Carolin, you call her Carol she gets a little mad."
I shook my head and fixed my glasses. "Pissed as hell does it better justice." I pushed my glasses back up my nose. "You didn't answer my question though."
Braeburn rolled his eyes. "Ya know, I don't really know what ta' tell ya. Works for me and her, don't really work for everypony. An I met Rarity, she ain't exactly the type I took to like folk like us."
I rubbed my chin, my glove rough against my skin. "Letters seem pretty eager, just don't exactly know if I'm all that good with ponies, or like that I guess." I tapped my tongs against the side of my anvil. "Ya get what I'm sayin'?"
Braeburn stuck his hoof out. "Partner, take pony out of the equation."
I leveled a rather cynical look at him. "You act like that's easy."
Braeburn shrugged and scratched at the dust that littered the commons. "Well it's not hard." He smiled at me. "Besides, I'm sure you'll be fine."
"I'll either be fine, or I'll be pretty well fucked." I shrugged. "Stark I suppose, but I'm a realist."
Braeburn gritted his teeth and raised his hoof. "Make ya feel better if I got you a place to stay while you're over there?"
I nodded. "Hmm, it'd help." I looked over at a human girl heading into the showers. I pressed my tongue against the back of my canine tooth. "Hey, Braeburn...you ever hear of Journey?"
Braeburn cocked his head. "Journey?"
I laughed as the girl took her hat off and a shirt flung over the half door of the stall. "Any way ya want it?" I pointed over to the girl. "That's the way you need it?" I laughed hard and rubbed my eyes. "Oh Jesus, sorry."
Braeburn shook his head. "I don't get it partner."
I took a deep breath and coughed. "It's a song back on earth. Don't know why, I always associate pretty girls with Journey." I pulled my hand across my face, my mustache loudly scratching my glove. "Memories I suppose." I looked towards the train tracks out of town. "So you think you can get me a place to stay?"
Braeburn nodded. "And I can get ya work there." He smiled up at me. "Appleloosa ain't the safest either, so getting some rest away from the heat 'll be good for ya."
I nudged my head to the side. "Probably a bit cooler up north a little ways." I rubbed my tanned arms. "Be nice to be white again, not this burnt ass color." I looked around the lot, blacks turned pitch, Mexicans turned Aztec, whites turned Spanish. Even the ponies seemed to have been burned slightly, or cooked. "Fine, ain't like I gotta pack." I set the tongs down and stood up. "Who I gonna be stayin' with?"
Braeburn smiled up at me. "I got an idea, but that don't mean it'll be her. Got lots of family back there, got family all across Equestria, you want a stay in a town you picked the right ponies to tango with."
I snorted out a laugh. "Seems like ya'll are real friendly to humans--"
"Hey!" Braeburn poke his hoof at me. "Carolin is beautiful."
I laughed. "Sure, nothing to do with the fact she saved your ass, or that she could kick your ass." I rubbed my neck and looked over to the tracks, a train hurrying over towards the station. "All you Apples so friendly or--"
Braeburn shook his head, sending his hat off and into the dust. "Dave, I don't know. But you're gonna be better off than the griffons." He shook his head. "Kinda...jer--"
"Assholes...." I shook my head. "Don't split hairs. They're fine, but damned if they aren't some stubborn assholes." I looked across the commons, a griffon was sitting on a roof watching me. "I know you stole my gloves, Vickle! I saw you wearing them!"
The griffon flipped me off and swiped his tail in my direction. Braeburn squinted at the bird. "You still--"
"Yes. Again, stubborn as hell." I put my hands in my pockets. "Don't mean I don't work with the dumb ass! Just means I don't like him too much."
"Fuck you Dave!"
I rolled my eyes. "You first Vickle! I'm waiting for you to bend over!"
The commons bustled with a loose laughter. Even ponies here were a bit more bullheaded and it was nicer than accidentally offending anyone just by saying shit. Braeburn waved his hoof before me. "Train's here. You gonna get going?"
I licked my lips. "I guess so. Just make sure Vickle gets something up his ass. He's been asking for it since he watched me shower!" I kept yelling at the tuned out griffon. "So, who do I--"
Braeburn looked towards the train. "Sweet Apple Acres, or you could find somepony in the farms, but I'll tell AJ personally that you're gonna show up."
I nodded. "Alright then, and they have a forge?"
Braeburn nodded again. "Dave, you're gonna wreck yourself if ya don't relax."
I sighed loudly. "This is relaxed, you'll know I'm not relaxed when the gun comes out." I looked off towards the vast open space outside Appleloosa. "The constant threat of being shot tends to make you a bit high strung, friend." I patted my side, my gun tucked against my hip. "Get some law out here while I'm gone, alright?" I pulled my pistol out and emptied it. "Bandits get to ya, Carolin's gonna kill you worse."
Braeburn shrugged. "She'll kill every bandit, rescue me, just to kill me herself." He laughed and fixed his hat. "Go on, get."
I started off out of the commons, heading through an alley and out onto the main street. Appleloosa was by far the most diverse place I'd seen in Equestria, probably something to do with how new it was. I walked out and over to the town hall, a short walk across the street from the bar. How well they were connected did worry me just a bit, but this was the closest we could get to the old west without time travel.
I stepped inside and the usual mare behind the counter waved me over and lifted the divider. The place was a relic, a small open floor with a set of teller style counters behind bars sitting opposite the main doors. "Appleloosa town hall--"
I cut her off and put my pistol down. "Checking a weapon, and departing."
The mare nodded and pulled my weapon over the counter. She slid a piece of paper and a pencil over. "Sign and we'll have you on book."
I signed what I needed to, wrote down other info to help as well. "Shame about the bandits, ain't it?" I slid the paper across the counter, watching the mare take it into a file.
The mare sighed. "It really is. Makes my job a lot harder." She shook her head. "No offense, but your kind probably shouldn't have made crime so easy, checked your weapons at the door, as it were."
I frowned hard. "Guns are a problem solver, and no different than a pissed off pair of unicorns shooting magic at each other until one is fried dead." I turned to the door and nodded at the office mare. "Maybe you shouldn't make generalizations, ma'am."
I made my way out into the rough desert sun. I had a train to catch, and in all hopes, a mare waiting for me when I got there. I hurried down the street towards the station, another quick walk, another duty path.
I was so sick of dust.
I hurried from the wood planked walkway up to the concrete station sitting out at the end of the road and stepped up. There was no ticket on this line, and I wouldn't have any problem finding a seat. And the sooner I got out of Appleloosa, the better. The train was waiting, the path was clear, and I was on my way to Ponyville.
I sat on the cool train, watching the vast expanse of desert zipping past through the dusty window. Humans had been around a year or so, and like the mare at the town hall had said, we brought guns. Not the only thing we brought, but the thing that impacted Appleloosa the most.
A marshal walked through the train car. A pony in a long duster, sporting a narrow hat and a thousand yard stare. He looked out one of the windows, shook his head, and walked on. I couldn't blame the man for being burned out. Ponies in the desert had taken to banditry and old west crime like fish to water. All they were missing was the guns, and once those found their way into hoof held form, the verdict was out.
Appleloosa, Dodge, the desert towns and the whole province carried one thing with two sides, freedom. You could found your own town, declare your independence, but just as easy someone could come and shoot your ass. The princess had even offered to step in, but Appleloosa and Dodge just asked for jurisdiction, and now it truly was as the west had been, law held by ponies, not paper.
It was a life I preferred to the bureaucracy back home or in Canterlot, but you could only live like that so long without taking a break. And the air in the train was far too calm and cool to pass up. I'd also heard good things about Ponyville, quiet town, nice people, and there was a mare I'd been talking with over letters.
She was half the reason I was heading north again. Six months of letters and I was tired of being alone, and the prospect of dating in Appleloosa boiled down to two folks saying, I'd like to fuck you before I get sun stroke and die. "Come on...get me the hell outta here." I whispered to the train, tapping the wall as it zipped through the desert.
I leaned back into my chair as we chugged along. The marshal took a seat near the door to the next car and watched the door. I felt something unsettling creep over my skin. There was either something in the next car or he was trying to freak all three people on the train out.
The door slid open, a pony with a black mane walked in and immediately stopped dead. "Hey now--"
"Lock your legs, don't move." The marshal stood up, gun hung lightly at his side. His horn glowed a soft orange under his hat. "I see you move, you're done."
I shifted in my seat, sinking down in case of gunfire. The marshal let out a sharp whistle. "Workman, got a second?"
I groaned softly and stood up. "I suppose, figures there'd be one last bout of shit before I could leave." I walked down the isle and over to the pair. I felt tall compared to them. "What you need?"
The marshal swung his hip towards me. "Ties in my saddle bag."
I ducked down and reached into his bag, the marshal's star on the outside wasn't properly tied off and the pin scratched my hand. "Your star is gonna fall off." I walked behind the stallion stopped in the doorway and forced his legs apart with my toes. "Might want to get that checked--" I managed to tie off the pony's back legs before he tried to sprint, kicking me in the thigh before falling flat and cracking his jaw against a set of chairs.
The marshal just watched, I just watched, the pony tried to wiggle away, his back legs now caught up in the springs of a chair. "Get the heck away from me! I didn't do nothing!"
I rubbed my thigh. "Uh...sure as hell aren't doing anything." I felt a smirk tug up for just a moment before I could hammer it away. "You got this?"
The marshal holstered his pistol and groaned. "Seems like they're getting stupider, right?"
I sighed. "Sure ain't getting smarter."
The marshal laughed. "Speakin' truths, and it's a damn shame. Well, for them, just makes my job a bit harder."
I laughed back. "Keeping idiots alive is a bit of a chore, ain't it?"
The marshal tied off the pony's forelegs and pulled them free of the springs. "A lot easier when they don't have guns-- Son of a bitch!" The marshal's hooves ran over the pony's side, quickly fishing out a mouth hold pistol. "See, you were a smart one!" The marshal whacked the bandit over the back of the head and grumbled. "Ya'll are just lookin' to die, ain't ya!?"
I fixed my glasses and hurried off towards my seat again. I still had somebody to meet, and I wasn't about to look like a complete redneck just because some marshal couldn't control a thug. I settled in and watched the desert pass by. Appleloosa and the entire desert was torn away into a quick bit of scrub brush between the grassy plains and back home. The transition was rough, a few patchy hills and bushes leading way into the green of the north.
I relaxed and fell out into a bit of a nap. It didn't last more than ten minutes before I jerked awake and the whistle sounded our arrival. I let out a loud grumble and sat upright. Time was shooting out of control, but I was out of Appleloosa, and maybe now I could finally relax.
I walked out to the door of the train and stepped off, bumping shoulders with a woman in a ticket taker's uniform. "Excuse me." I muttered softly, not bothering to turn around. I didn't like taking up people's time, and mine was equally valuable. I stepped out and onto the concrete platform, ponies watched me walk.
I looked down at myself. I did fit the bill for the kind of out of the desert axe murderer. I grumbled softly. "Should probably go change...." I took my gloves off and put them in my back pocket. I looked down at my outfit again, torn up flannel, ratty jeans, thick leather boots. "Didn't really help." I coughed and patted my legs, dust puffing off me. "Oh fuck it."
There wasn't going to be a thing I could do to fix my sun blasted appearance until I moved off the station. I didn't like ponies staring at me, I didn't much care for anyone staring at me, but what was I going to do. Yelling at them would only hammer home the point. I kept walking, I already knew what I was looking for.
I could already see it too. Smack dab in the middle of a faireground just outside of the train station was a tall building with a circular shape and a strange look to the pillars. The letters sent had mentioned a bunch of pillars exactly the same as what I was seeing, and sure enough everything else fit the bill too. White and pink, ornate, central to the market. I could only hope whoever was inside matched her letters.
The walk over was rather long, lots of open ground before I hit the maze of the market stalls. Bustling ponies and a few other races milled around, buying and selling in the collection of pavilions and stands. Had I any money I probably would have stopped, but funding a new outfit with sixteen bits and the goodwill of Appleloosa wasn't going to get me far.
But it was too late to turn back, and even if I wanted to, the train was chugging on towards Canterlot next. I had nothing to do but meet up with the mare I'd been keeping up with and head over to the farms Braeburn had mentioned. I hurried through the market, walking like a giant amongst the short ponies. They even seemed shorter than the usual kind we had in Appleloosa.
The air was clear, growing sweet as I hurried up to the circular building. I hurried up and walked up into the open door, met with a soft jingle and the smell of perfume. The first room was littered with mannequins and a single counter with a register. A loud bell went off as I stepped inside. "One moment!"
I looked around, shifting in place as a set of hooves beat against the floor. "Rarity?"
A sweet voice rang back. "Yes? Who is this?" A purple maned pony peeked in and walked behind the counter. "How can I help you?" She coughed into her hoof. "Something not so rough, yes?"
I walked slowly over. "Uh, actually I'm here to see you." I rubbed my mouth, feeling a bit betrayed with the prissy mare before me. "You're a lot...fancier, than I thought you'd be."
Rarity cocked her head. "Excuse-- Oh no...." She grew a bit red. "David?"
I nodded. "Yes ma'am." I wiped myself off. "So...this is weird."
Rarity looked me up and down, her foreleg raised, face twisted into a frown. "Indeed.... I didn't know you were a human."
I scratched my nose. "With a name like, David?"
Rarity leaned away and cringed. She waggled a hoof in the air. "I'd been seeing so many human names in Appleloosa, I assumed ponies were adopting the style."
I shrugged. "Nope, just lots of humans, griffons too, hell you can see a few diamond dogs over yonder if ya wanted to." I rubbed my arm.
Rarity nodded. "Noted.... Now, did you...need something?"
I looked at her with wide open eyes, the rim of my glasses coming into view. "I take it you're not interested in humans?"
Rarity tilted her head side to side. "Well...I'm sure--"
"No?"
Rarity smiled at me. "Please don't be offended, bipeds simple aren't all that attractive."
I shrugged. "Personal preference, better we clear it than hang on the point like a rusty nail."
Rarity nodded. "I think I understand, and if we are in agreement, thank you." She looked me up and down again. "Did you come all the way out here for me?"
I stretched my neck. "You, and to get away from Appleloosa."
Rarity grew a bit pink and covered her mouth with a hoof. "Hmm...then I can't really send you away empty hoofed." She ducked under the counter. "Your shirt please?"
I looked down at my torn up shirt. "What's the plan here?"
Rarity brought out a small box. "A few stitches, maybe a patch. I've seen ponies like you, so attached to the shirt not the style."
I undid my collar. "Well, I won't complain if you wanna fix it, but it's more about comfort than attachment." I pulled my shirt off, reduced to a sweat stained white tee. "Shirt's clean, I know it doesn't look like it, but we wash pretty regularly."
Rarity took my shirt with her magic and set it down. "I've been to Appleloosa, I completely understand getting dust stains out." She threaded a needle and went to work. "And the sweat just turns it to mud and then you'll never get it out." She quickly sewed up a few tears and cuts. She turned to me with a smile. "I am sorry if I mislead you--"
I shook my head and held my hand out. "Well, miss out on a lady, get a town." I looked out towards the window. "I had to leave that place anyways, just for a little bit."
Rarity nodded, her eyes closed as she fixed my shirt. "I can imagine, given the news I'm surprised more aren't leaving."
I shook my head. "I think a lot of folks knew what they were getting into, and I gotta admit, it was fun shooting out and scaring off a few bandits. But, all gotta take some time off eventually." I rubbed my mustache. "And I'd rather not die alone, if I'm gonna go back and catch a bullet I'd at least like someone I care about to come visit me."
Rarity frowned softly and finished with my shirt. "Appleloosa not very romantic?"
I took my shirt and pulled it on, tighter and less flowy. "Most romantic place there is the bar, so it ain't exactly a good place to look for people you wanna settle with." I buttoned up my shirt and tucked it in. "Hmm, good fit."
"Is it?" Rarity rubbed her hoof on the counter. "I was afraid I'd make it too tight."
I shook my head. "It's fine, not much you can do about spark burns." I nodded at her. "Tha--" My glasses slipped right off my nose and onto the floor. They landed lenses first and broke with a rather loud crack. "...Jesus."
Rarity leaned over the counter. "Oh dear...."
I let out a tired huff and picked up my broken frames. "God damn it...." The glass fell apart, one lense cracked, the other obliterated. "Do you have a dust pan--"
Rarity shook her head. "No no, I'll get it. That was not at all your fault."
I sighed loudly and hung my glasses in my pocket. The purple blur I had to assume was Rarity hurried over, chugging along some blue blur as well. "I don't really--"
The purple stopped before me. "David, you're squinting rather hard."
I leaned in, Rarity's face still not clear. "Yeah...my eyes are a little jacked." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Jesus, I can't see a damn thing." The room looked like one giant smear with different colors and some odd blurry depth to the counter. "It's like I'm drunk."
Rarity sighed loudly. I looked around, my eyes starting to ache from the strain. "Are you going to be alright? Do you have a place to stay?"
I looked out what I assume was the window, colorful blobs traveling around against the grey smear. "Yeah, I'll be alright." I adjusted my glasses in my pocket. "Uh.... You know a place I can get these fixed?"
Rarity's purple blur walked around past me. "I'd assume a doctor would help."
I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah...guess that's actually an option up here." I turned towards the general direction of the door. "Uh...can you--"
Rarity walked before me and pulled the door open. "That bad?"
I sighed and walked over. "Like looking through greasy stained glass." I rubbed my eyes and stepped outside. "Which--"
Rarity leaned her head out. "Do you need help? I can--"
"I really do." I blinked hard, the world still just as blurry as hell. "Sweet Apple Acres? You think you can get me there?"
Rarity pulled me back into the room by my sleeve. "I have somepony I can call."
I rubbed my eyes and stood in the center of the room. "I'm really sorry about this."
Rarity hummed loudly. "Don't be, I feel like you have it far worse than I do right now."
I sighed loudly and blinked a few more times, the room slowly focusing into blur and less smudge. "I'll be fine."
"As will I, so please, relax." Rarity hurried behind the counter. A loud tap came from her direction. "... Hello? Carrot Top? Ah, is Applejack or-- Ah, I see. No... no. New arrival, his glasses-- yes, he. His glasses broke and I don't think he could make it-- wait, you-- Oh! Hmm, well can you come get him? He's rather blind at the moment and I don't think he could.... Okay, thank you."
The purple blur walked up to me. "Carrot Top is going to come and take you to the orchard. Were they expecting you?"
I rubbed my eyes, blue eyes slowly coming into focus. "Yeah, I do metal working and general handyman stuff for the Apples. Had my old boss tell them I was coming up so they could give me a place to stay."
Rarity nodded and walked to the door. "Well, I'm sure you'll get along.... She seemed interested in you."
I rubbed my mouth. "Who?"
"Carrot Top, I believe she's extended Apple family." Rarity walked back to the counter. "Hmm, well feel free to find a seat."
I looked around the room. "Uh.... Sure." I scratched my head. "Which one's a chair?"
