Chapters Alternate Prologue: 3 Years After Endgame
It was that day again. The sixth day of the first month of a brand new year. Three years ago, worlds collided in a most bizarre manner, instigating a chess game of epic proportions. Even now, nopony is truly certain it's 'over', merely that things have calmed down....a lot.
Canterlot, ever beautiful, was bustling. Preparing for the events that will transpire this day. Princess Celestia, ever beautiful, even with the scar across her right eye, now a year old, sat in her chariot, awaiting the main event, grim in countenance, yet calm. Her beloved little sister, Princess Luna, stood ready, wearing her battle armor, rather than royal regalia, lest General Shining Armor and his allies, Captain Barricade of the Pegasus Guard, Captain Harbinger of the Earth Pony Guard, and the recently appointed Lyra Heartstrings, taking his duties as Captain of the Unicorn Guard. The six of them watched an approaching group of black-clad pony-like creatures, taking close note of the sharp edges protruding from their billowing cloaks.
As the beings approached, undeniably changelings undisguised, a growing sense of dread fell over the massive crowd. And then...two normal ponies, a white-coated unicorn with an electric blue mane, and a dark grey earth pony with a pitch black mane, stepped forward and lead the hoard of changelings....in a song.
Come one, come all
Suddenly, one of them leaps forward, spinning a black, axe-like guitar in his holey hooves, the 'strings' a rainbow of lightning arcing across the spine. He takes the lead with a VERY distinctive voice.
FOOLS! Hahahaaaa!!!
Once a year we turn all Paris upside down
He leaps p onto a lamppost, hanging upside down like a monkey.
Every man's a king and every king's a clown
He places a paper crown atop Cranky Doodle Donkey's head, and sticks a red rubber nose onto the face of Prince Blueblood.
once again it's Topsy Turvy Day
He pops up beside Luna, imitating a comical version of Nightmare Moon.
It's the day we mock the pig and shock the priest
He makes a silly face at Blueblood, before using a shock buzzer on Clyde Pie
Everything is Topsy Turvy at the Feast of Fools
Topsy Turvy
Everything is upsy-daisy
He leaps upwards, once again hanging from a lamp-post, now joined by several other changelings, each one taking as silly a disguise as possible.
Topsy Turvy
Everyone is acting crazy
Perfectly normal ponies begin chanting along and joining in the silliness with intensive glee, including Luna, who's begun dancing...upside down on the awning of the Royal Chariot.
Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet
He pays for a bouquet of weeds with some rusty scrap metal, and then offers them to Princess Celestia as if handing them to a first crush, and then flies high with a girlish squeal when she treats the weeds like fresh picked roses.
that's the way on Topsy Turvy Day
Topsy Turvy
Beat the drums and blow the trumpets
Lyra leads the four military commanders of Equestria in an additional band, blaring out the music created by Miss Octavia and Miss Vinyl.
Topsy Turvy
Join the bums and thieves and strumpets
Noble ponies dance and prance about dressed in the worst rags they can find, while Lord Fancypants and Lady Fleur chase each other, having stolen one-another's undergarments.
streaming in from Chartres to Calais
Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy
He shares a mug of fresh cider with the Apple family.
On the 6th of January
Come one, come all
He begins ushering ponies towards a large stage.
see the mystery and romance
He offers a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows to Twilight, hiding near Celestia.
Come one, come all
The changeling pulls his guitar from seemingly nowhere and twirls it over his head
Dance la Esmeralda.......
The changeling brings the body down like a blade, sending out a multicolored shockwave and sending himself flying skyward.
Dance!!
'Esmerelda' is, in truth, a changeling disguised as a green version of Trixie, much to the surprise of the real Trixie, watching from atop one of the airships flying high in the sky. The rather sexual dance gets almost all of the males, and a shocking chunk of the female population, VERY excited, though we shan't go into detail, to keep the rating safely 'Teen'.
Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for
Many of the 'back-up changelings' begin snickering, alongside many ponies, griffons, diamond dogs, dragons, and felines at the massive party.
Here it is, you know exactly what's in store
Celestia nudges Twilight gently, getting a giggle from the nervous unicorn.
Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore
Many are now cheering with glee.
Now's the time we crown the King of Fools!!
"You all remember last year's king!?" A muscular Pegasus known by many names but, for now, shall be called 'Tarzan', is brought out, wearing a comically designed duplication of Princess Celestia's royal regalia is brought out by several rather buff female changelings, all five of them grinning.
So make a face that's horrible and frightening
He bares his teeth, shifting to a humanoid physique to become more unnerving.
Make a face as gruesome as a gargoyle's wing
He shifts one of his wings into a massive dragon wing, then spreading it out to show it's still covered in nasty-looking holes, making a few dragons shudder instinctively.
For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Fools
He keeps his face painfully distorted, almost as if second nature.
Topsy Turvy
Ugly folk, forget your shyness
Many ponies, dragons, gryphons, diamond dogs, and a few other, unfamiliar critters practically leap onto the stage.
Topsy Turvy
You could soon be called "Your Highness"
Every last one is up there with a mask to hide their faces...except one. The tall, black creature looks like a near-perfect Chrysalis costume.
Put the foulest features on display
The crowd chants and cheers as masks are pulled off. Many of the faces are silly and rather disappointing...except the last one. She's not wearing a mask...
"CHRYSALIS!" Celestia shouts, her rage-fueled bellow nearly knocking the battered and bruised changeling queen to the ground.
"OI OI OI!" The smaller, guitar-wielding changeling shouts, "Calm down, boss-lady! We wanted the ugliest face in Equestria, and here she is! The FORMER Queen Chrysalis!" Chrysalis, having not had a chance to really speak, barely lets out a peep before she's literally TOSSED into the crowd whom, riled up by the song, dance, and alcohol, gleefully body-surf her across them to her destination.
Everybody
Once a year we throw a party, here in town
Tarzan removes the regalia and tosses it into the air just before getting tossed off of the wood throne, one of the changeling 'guards' asking him to meet her later.
Once a year we turn all Paris upside down
Celestia is frowning, but she's not reacting TOO badly....it HAS been three years.
Once a year the ugliest will wear a crown
Chrysalis winces at the title of 'ugliest face in Equestria', but accepts the shoddy regalia anyway, hoping to avoid pissing off the princess any further.
Once a year on Topsy Turvy Day
Now crowned, Chrysalis gulps, hoping this wasn't a bad idea, but the song continues anyway.
Hail to the king
The lead changeling twirls his guitar before playing a quick riff.
Oh, what a king
Chrysalis blushes at being treated like royalty again after so long being lonely.
Girls, give a kiss
The two mares are none other than Rarity and Fluttershy, both drunk, but the love they practically force-feed her is genuine.
We've never had a king like this
The lead changeling leaps high, joined by Rainbow Dash to create a beautiful show of rainbow light and arcing lightning for the occasion.
And it’s the day we do the things that we deplore
Chrysalis meets eyes with Celestia, whom has calmed and is smiling.
On the other three hundred and sixty-four
Creatures of all kinds are laughing and sharing in seemingly endless cider.
For the chance to pop some popinjay
Celestia and Luna share some popcorn with Twilight.
And pick a king who'll put the top in Topsy Turvy Day
Chrysalis is hopped off of the throne onto a pedestal, basking in the cheers from her former foes, once broken and defeated; she finally feels what REAL kindness is like.
Topsy Turvy
Everything moves insanely fast, with things happening left and right, cheering, shouts, singing, Pinkie throwing a pie in the face of a wingless black dragon, an angry-looking gryphon laughing at the sheer mayhem, a mute diamond dog smacking another known only as 'Rover' across the head for trying to pick-pocket, ending in the crescendo of the lead changeling swooping down, sliding to a stop on the knees of his hind-legs in a rather anthropomorphic manner. He ends the flourish with a cocky grin directed at the mind's eye of the reader.
That 'Lead Changeling' is me. I've been here so long I forgot my real name... It all began three years ago. But I guess I should give you a proper name. Everyone calls me it, and I like it.... So, please. Call me Knightmare.
You think I'd leave it just at that, wouldn't you? A bit cliché, doncha think? So, why don't I at least show you how I got to Equestria in the first place, eh?
OK. Imagine an internet cafe.
Got that in your head? Sleek, fancy place, low lighting, good donuts, lots and lots and LOTS of nerds of all kinds piddling about on computers and such.
Good.
Now, imagine one of said nerds is a guy who's REALLY fat, trying to fidget with a hunk of junk guitar he probably pulled out of a garbage can, trying to make it work.
That's me, before I became a sleek, sexy, badass Changeling.
Now picture, sitting across from me, is the busty-as-hell babe in white leather, specifically, a biker's jacket and chaps with a freaking awesome hairdo that looked like polished rainbows. The only details aside from 'cool hair, big breasts, and badass outfit' I recall is a patch she had. Specifically, one like this.
Yeah, one of THOSE patches.
She's possibly a Brony, I most definitely am. I swear, between the white outfit and the hair and the patch, I thought, for a moment, that she was a humanized Celestia going for a bike ride...
"You're right, actually." She said, interrupting my thoughts. I'd been listening to her talk idly for the past half hour about various things. That little interruption of hers caught me off guard.
"Right about what?" I asked, more than a tad nervous.
"Oh, about your thoughts." She grins, "It'll click in five...four...three...two...one."
The instant her countdown his 'one', she was confirmed correct. It DID click. She'd been discussing her home life, how paranoid her family and friends were, and some 'very intense chess game' was going on between her and a few rivals. And just before she caught me off guard, she'd asked if I'd like to join....and like a moron, I nodded in agreement without asking for details...
"Are you saying that you're...?” I'm silenced instantly when she reaches out her hand. I take it in my own and, shock and awe, she's got one hell of a vice-grip for someone half my size...
"Princess Celestia Everfree of Equestria." We shook once...twice...and the moment the third shake hit the bottom, everything was gone, replaced by a bright blue sky, and the sudden pull of gravity. "I hope you like your new body, young one!" she shouts over the rush of wind, letting me drop towards the ground. My response is, all things considered, quite logical.
"OH YOU SUNUVA-!"
Musical Mayhem: The Ballad of Firefly
"Fillies and gentlecolts!" The humanoid changeling shouted, piercing the roar of the crowd, "Today, we're going to try something...different. As you all know, we like to kick off our concerts with something truly epic...that's not changing. But this? Today? We'll sing a song about a hero of legends here in Equestria. This is, in many ways, her song. I hope you all enjoy...The Ballad of FireFly!" The crowd gasps and roars with glee, unsurprising considering there's so many myths about the First Wonderbolt. And boy oh boy will they get a SHOCK!
Knightmare: Alright, gang! HIT IT!
The song begins, slow and quiet, depicting another peaceful day over the village of Ponyville. Then, suddenly, SONIC RAINBOOM! The song's main riff belts out, spilling into an industrial metal beat that gets many ponies' heads banging right then and there.
Getadelt wird wer Schmerzen kennt
The second speed barrier, that of Magic, is broken, unleashing FireFly's favorite attack, the Wonderbolt!
vom Feuer das die Haut verbrennt
The third speed barrier, that of 'wind' is demolished, unleashing Tornado Alley!
Ich werf ein Licht
The fourth is wrecked, 'nature' shattering to reveal the Psychlone!
in mein Gesicht
Number five, the barrier of 'Force' breaks, wreathing the source in the fire of Friction's Meteor!
Ein heißer Schrei
The sixth speed barrier, that of 'Energy' is destroyed, wrapping the source in a white bullet of radiation, the mythical 'Supernova'!
FireFly!!
The source of the mind-breaking speeds reveals itself to be a particularly BADASS Pink pegasus with a blue mane and tail, just in time to see her break the seventh speed barrier, that of Time Itself!
Bang Bang!
Geadelt ist wer Schmerzen kennt
The Legendary Hero, FireFly, rockets across time and space, fighting everything from ancient Earth Tyrants to futuristic mechanical monstrosities, righting wrongs in the most epically badass and blindingly FAST manner possible.
Bang Bang!
Gefährlich ist wer Schmerzen kennt
She jets back into the Timestream, brohoofing the Doctor before drifting out
Dein Glück
FireFly breaks out and steadies herself, taking aim at a mass of floating islands, all of them armed to the teeth with magi-cannons, preparing to attack modern Equestria
Dein Glück
Firefly rockets forward, breeching the first six Speed Barriers....
Bang Bang!
She begins SLAMMING into the multitude of floating islands, ripping them to shreds with sheer velocity, ripping them all to shreds before jetting back into the timestream, popping out right above the concert, the 'illusion' vanishes, as Knightmare points upwards, revealing Firefly ACTUALLY THERE!
Bang Bang!
The Time-Breaker herself flies around the concert, slapping hooves with various ponies and griffins and khajiit before flying up and doing an aerial backflip, slipping behind the stage and setting off a mass of fireworks, sliding under Knightmare and grabbing his microphone right in time to steal the last line!
FireFly: Bang Bang!!
Now then, on with the show!
New Canterlot Palace, 2 years, 6 months after Day 1
The palace was the first to be plotted in the city's construction, but the last to be built. So far only the throne room and the halls leading up to it have been truly 'finished'.
LordCaptain Griffin and Sir Aoi were attending Princess Celestia, the captain's distaste for such an uncharacteristic act as drinking tea with the Princess was beaten down by a desire to keep her from falling deeper into depression. Ever since the battle with The Smooze cost her her right eye and both wings, she's been steadily declining in health and happiness. With Knightmare gone, she needed someone to keep her company, at least until her little 'pet' came back from his search for answers to the mysterious 'Herald'.
Outside, a buffeting sound could be heard, drawing the trio's attention away from their tea.
"Is he....?" Celestia began, drawing concerned looks from the two hardened warriors.
Outside the throne room, a deafening CRASH erupted from the courtyard, causing the trio to leap to their feet, Celestia's mechanical wings spreading, and Griffin's own wing revving up. Several more loud thuds came, getting progressively closer until, with a silence-shattering slam, the doors to the throne room came crashing down, kicking up a cloud of dust.
As the dust settled, it revealed Nyx, The Nightmare herself...
But...
This wasn't the proud demon-mare that ensnared Princess Luna, not the playfully vengeful warrior that brought Octavia to heel, nor the compassionate specter that saved Scootaloo's life.
No, the Nyx before them was, literally, crying blood, gashes all across her face and muzzle hinting that her eyes may be downright destroyed. Her wings were mangled, the feathers torn out completely, and her horn was shattered, as if crushed flat against her skull.
"H-houston...w-we have a p-p-problem...." The demon-queen was able to croak out, before collapsing to the ground in a bloody heap, unable to move any further.
On instinct the three royal warriors bolted as guards marched forward to tend to the injured Nightmare. Rushing downt he hall, leaping over the fallen doors, Griffin spotted a familiar grey face ahead.
"ROOK!" The LordCaptain shouted, "What the hell just happened!?"
"You'll have to see it for yourself, Griffin...." He just stood there, shock and horror plain on the gargoyle's face. Swallowing his growing worry, Griffin was the first to bolt out into the courtyard, and stopped dead in his tracks.
"..M-mother of god...." laid out before the three was The Ragnarok, Knightmare's airship. But like Nyx, to say it had seen better days would be an understatement. The flexible blade-cannon that would rain down holy thunder on its foes was bent and twisted in ways impossible to be a mere accident. The once proud symbol of the Dragon-Horse at the prow of the ship looked as if it had been cleaved in half, with part of the mangled gold skull hanging limply, and the other looking as if it was melted by dragonfire. The hull was literally only sticking on through spit, duct tape, and prayers, having looked like someone took a giant anti-magic can opener to it. The twin engines were wrecked almost beyond repair, the corkscrew drills bent and twisted in impossible angles, and the propellers overhead shouldn't, and couldn't keep the ship aloft any longer, with all save the middle mangled beyond imagining, and one set even tied in a knot.
Standing atop the ruined prow was Octavia, Knightmare's first mate, using the scorched and shredded remnants of her beloved cello as a cane, trying to stand proud even as her left hind leg bled out, having been ripped off save a few strings of tendons keeping it dragging behind her. The mare...attempted to smile, but her shattered jaw made it nearly impossible to do painlessly.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't escape injury, either, as three bruised little fillies poked their heads over the side of the ship, dropping down a rope ladder and waving the trio to come up. Complying with them, Griffin had immediately wished that at least Celestia hadn't.
"W-what happened here?" Aoi said, surprise and horror in his voice for the first time in too many years. Arrayed about was Knightmare's crew, with Vinyl Scratch resting under a bloodstained tarp, Bonbon uncontrollably shifting between her pony and changeling forms, crying relentlessly over Lyra, who's bruised and battered head rested in the changeling mare's own horribly mangled legs, the seafoam unicorn's gaze locked on her golden gauntlets, the formerly shimmering mechanical hands having been crushed so badly that they nearly fused with her forehooves, spilling blood all over the mangled deck.
Surrounding the mostly undamaged central propeller were several changelings, all of them exhausted, having been forced to keep the ship aloft through brute strength and willpower, with the red-dust fuel having been lost some time ago. It seemed nothing escaped damage, and none of the crew of formerly dozens was willing to do much more than cry, whether in pain or for lost lovers and friends....
Celestia approached the captain's cabin, dreading the worst, with her two warrior companions following close behind. She gently raps her hoof against the door, fear welling up inside of her. The one who answers is her beloved niece, Cadance, the bloodied princess wrapping her hooves around Celestia's neck, crying uncontrollably. Behind her, Shining Armor attempts a salute, but the horribly twisted hoof simply falls limp, and he sets it back down with a whimper.
Silently, Celestia looks for the one being she wishes to see, tears welling in her eyes. Cadance, almost reading her mind, leads her to a bed at the back of the room, lifting the sheet.
Laying there was what might have, at one point, been Sir Knightmare Demonbane.
When asked later, Griffin's best description was 'Changeling turned ground beef'.
With his carapace shredded, Knightmare was, literally, bound in sheets just to keep his innards from spilling across the floor. Gasping for air, the changeling whispers something into Celestia's ear, and she responds...
"I love you, too..." The princess breaks down in tears, unable to even think any longer. Griffin braves the journey past the sobbing immortal.
"g-griff..." Knightmare says, his voice distorted by the blood in his throat. "we...have a....si-sit-situation...."
"What kind of situation?" The pirate-king asks.
"We have...six months to prepare....i-if we fail...we all die. The EndGame has begun."
"Then let's get ready." Griffin slams the door open and begins doing what he does quite well, barking orders.
"Aoi! Track down echo and see if you can get in touch with Skeleton Jack!" The Lunar Legend nods and leaps from the ship, his Genji Gear increasing his already intense speed to the point where he kicks up a small tornado with his sprinting.
"LAW! LUNA!" The pony princess and her apprentice teleport on board the ship. "Find the Freuds and get this ship in combat shape, I want this fucker raining death by the end of the week!" The duo salute and leap off of the ship to take stock of the situation.
"Crusaders!" The CMC perk up, "Get inside the palace and find Nyx, she's having a mental breakdown, and Scoots, see if you can contact Zeta, we need all d the help we can get."
"Barricade, Harbinger!" The Pegasus and earth Pony captains drop onto the deck of the Ragnarok, "Find a medical team and get them here NOW! There's a fuckton of major injuries that need tending too. And when you're done, gather your troops, it's time to kick your training into overdrive."
"Octavia!" The cello-wielding mare turns around, "As the first mate, until Knightmare's back from the hospital, you're in charge of the Ragnarok."
"ROOK!" The gargoyle looks up from the ground, "Get mobile and start tracking down as many Chess Pieces as you can! We're gonna need all of the help we can get! I'm gonna go find Fudge and get my crew and the New Dominion army ready! And we'd best BE ready before the End Game hits! We've got six months to prepare, people, let's MOVE IT!"
The room was almost pitch black, with ominous shapes everywhere, due to the raging storm outside the building.
With the flick of a switch, lights began flashing on, revealing the ‘room’ to be a massive warehouse filled with weapons of various kinds and scientific equipment meant to measure every detail about said weapons and their wielders.
“Gentlecolts,” Spoke Princess Luna, waving a hoof at the massive warehouse, “welcome...to the Fight Club.”
“....woah.” came the only word Knightmare could think of.
“Holy shit,” muttered Valiant.
“OK, gentlecolts, you’re here because, let’s face it, the Death Battle Judges dropped the ball BADLY in the first round, research-wise, but we’re getting the solid facts this time, not from reading the stories, but from seeing it all first-hand.” Luna smiled, “I want you each to pick four weapons and a mode of transportation, we’re going for an aerial battle. And I want you two to make it EPIC. I know how badass you two goons can be, so if it’s not good enough, heads will roll.”
Knightmare saluted calmly, “Yes Ma’am!”
Valiant grinned, beginning to realize what lay ahead. “I think you’ve got the right guys for the job.”
Knightmare’s Weapon Choices:
Nyx: Short-handled battleaxe, electrical elemental effects, doubles as Bardic Magical Instrument.
Clockwork Assault Rifle: Rapid Fire non-explosive firearm that can fire 3 shots for each bullet consumed, except Hellfire shot, due to its explosive nature.
Twinkle: Magical staff that allows for voice amplification, and auto-casting pinnacle-level ‘Magic Missile’ spell, among other supernatural effects. More information found here: DDO Wiki page for 'Twilight, the Element of Magic' [Yes, Twinkle was modeled after a videogame weapon, so sue me.]
Modified Combat Form: Lahire[Speed-type], a machine-like form built around extreme velocity, equipped with pistol-type plasma shotguns and dual laserblades.
Transportation of choice: Nyx, AKA Princess Nyx Nocte Everfree vi Equestria, AAKA Nightmare Moon.
Valiant’s Weapon Choices:
Panzerfaust: antique German anti-tank weapon recreated for lulz. Used to kill Chrysalis in the Dreams series. “Panzerfaust, Lauren Faust, whatever.” “Who’s Lauren Faust?” “Ex girlfriend. All she wanted to do was draw cartoons instead of have sexytimes, so I dumped her.”
Switchblade: A perfect last-resort weapon. Valiant has been known to carry it in his mouth for extra surprise.
Combat Robot: Built prior to the Changling invasion at Luna’s request. Cockpit large enough for two ponies or three fillies.
Valiant’s own tequila: Flammable, drinkable, useful for sterilization.
Transportation of choice:Monstrosity twin-rotor VTOL aircraft. Cargo hold is large enough to carry at least 23 bushels of apples, and can mount weapons. Maneuverable enough to share a tornado with pegasi, tough enough to crash into several buildings without a scratch.
“Alright lads, your weapons are chosen, let’s meet your teams.”
“Wait, teams?” Knightmare asked, “I thought we fought alone in the tournament?”
“Teams are only for people who need help,” said Valiant.
“Well, technically it’s your computerized duplicates that are fighting alone, but I want data from multiple sources in this research, to ensure EVERYTHING is accurate. Feel free to banter and sling insults, so long as no one gets killed for real.”
“...ok.”
From Knightmare’s side of the room, two anthropomorphic mares and a werepony enter.
Queen Chrysalis , High-queen of Destruction and Knightmare’s magic trainer. Said to be one of the most powerful Spellcasters in the Chessverse[a claim backed up on many occasions].
“Well well well, what do we have here!”
Princess Nyx , ‘The Lost Princess’, Defender in the Dark, and Evil's Worst Nightmare, all well-earned titles from Knightmare’s physical combat trainer and one of the physically strongest mares in the Chessverse, Chrysalis’ old lover and melee counterpart.
“Oh this should be FUN!”
Lunar Guardian Octavia Philharmonica-Scratch , Knightmare’s firearms trainer and one of the elite special forces of Equestrian military.
“...This can only end very very badly...”
In Valiant’s corner, three figures appear.
Sir Winifred Condemnation Inferno Sir Win, for short. A flaming (and on fire) demon pony. Taker of souls, host of parties, acquainted with an Eldritch Abomination or two, and former receptionist of Tartarus.
“Oooh! What an extravagant event!”
Vampire Cheerilee Works undercover for Princess Luna taking care of things that go bump in the night. Displeased with Valiant in general, but willing to put differences aside to defeat a collective enemy. Not afraid to mutilate her own body for the cause.
“I really hope you’ve done the research to know what you’re getting into.”
Radioactive Trixie Valiant’s adopted daughter, after an age spell gone awry. More studious than old Trixie and charged with the power of the atom, her magic is much better than it used to be. She is also skilled with all Valiant’s weapons, as he won’t let any daughter of his not be badass. Comes equipped with her M60 and skateboard. Has a pet t-rex skeleton.
“Come on, dad. Let’s show these bitches a thing or two.”
“Oh my goodness you’re so ADORABLE!” Chrysalis shouted, glomping Radioactive Trixie on sheer impulse, the titanic changeling beauty leaping clear across the warehouse almost effortlessly.
“Chrissy, no!” Knightmare shouted.
“No, what?”
“You are NOT eating her. Put her down, now.”
“Killjoy.” The changeling queen sets the teenaged unicorn down on the ground and begins pouting childishly.
Armament comparisons
Short Range
Theme: Nyx VS Switchblade: Lord of the Blacksmiths by Falconer
Contains 7 threads of lightning matching each color of the rainbow.
VERSUS
Switchblade
Theme: C.A.R VS Tequila, 'And So the War Begins' by Brex
Clockwork Assault Rifle
VERSUS
Tequila
Theme: Twinkle VS Panzerfaust, 'White Death' by Sabaton
Twinkle
VERSUS
Panzerfaust
LAHIRE VS E.S.O, Title/Artist Unknown
LAHIRE: Speed Form
Armaments: [[Note: a ‘Pod’ weapon is an emergency weapon released once the primary is drained of munitions] LAHIRE: Speed Mode is primarily built around energy weaponry and energy efficiency, to allow for lightest weight and highest speed possible. Can take some big hits but is designed to dodge them and dish them out fast.
Left Arm Primary: Sampaguita[Energy-based shotgun fires 10 pellets of superheated mana{Mage-plasma}]
Left Arm Pod: LS-MOONLIGHT[high-power laser blade{Equivalent to the ‘Lune Pertinax’]
Left Shoulder: ASB-0710 [Add-Boosters that increase Quickboost efficiency and reduce quickboost cooldown times]
Left Back: EC-O307AB [3-barreled laser cannon]
Right Arm Primary: HLR01-CANOPUS[Hi-Laser that scatters smaller, weaker lasers on impact, essentially a ‘Laser Bazooka’]
Right Arm Pod: LS-SUNLIGHT [High-power laser blade{Equivalent to the ‘Sol Invicta’]
Right Shoulder: ASB-0710 [Add-Boosters that increase Quickboost efficiency and reduce quickboost cooldown times]
Right Back: EC-O307AB [3-barreled laser cannon]
VERSUS
Equestrian Spec-Ops Combat robot
________________
Final Test: Vehicles
Nightmare Moon VS Monstrosity, 'Rock you like a Hurricane' by The Scorpions & Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra
Nightmare Moon
VERSUS
The Monstrosity
For the Luls: Fighter Themes
Knightmare:'Far Cry' by Rush
Valiant: Valiant, by Brex
________
X-Factors
Valiant
Valiant typically rushes in without a plan. This gives him some surprise and makes him unpredictable, but he could overlook things. He is very good at improvising given the right materials, and is very creative, having once built a Saturn V moon rocket out of parts found in Ponyville. This can lead to unlikely things that sometimes don’t make sense, for example falling from the sky and punching King Sombra in half.As noted by RLYoshi, he is typically calm under fire and is only agitated by some sort of serious affront, usually against his idea of the American Way. This should not be a problem, as Knightmare is also American. Valiant has some strange moral issues, refusing to break promises but will readily lie and cheat when it suits him. While not a serial killer, he is very comfortable with violence and has planned several murders, including vampires. He is very protective of Trixie now that she is sort of his adopted daughter.As an earth pony, defeating magic is one of Valiant’s priorities. He has battled magical opponents in the past and devised a few ways to gain an advantage, such as grounded Faraday shields.Even while confronted with so many unholy things in Equestria, regularly disregarding the Ten Commandments, and taking the Lord’s name in vain, Valiant believes in God and once invaded Tartarus with the intention of defeating the armies of Hell.Valiant has many improbable skills, such as speaking fluent French and others that have not been mentioned, picked up from his wide variety of ex-girlfriends.
Knightmare
Knightmare is hyper-obsessed with planning, even when he typically has no possible need or reason to have them on-hand, often chalking up the seemingly insane plots, plans, and schemes to his experience with the SCP foundation and working on the Black Vault for Princess Celestia.He’s known to alter plans on the fly to suit a situation, and views combat as being a high-stakes game of chess, constantly striving to keep at least three steps ahead of any foes, even ones he knows, or should know, nothing about. Knightmare is highly genre-savvy and likes to ‘cheat’ by using and abusing narrative causality to his favor, though this also means he’s willing to take hits if causality demands the result be either leading in his favor, or sufficiently comical or epic.Knightmare is a self-admitted adrenaline junkie, even in his old age, and is willing to tapdance atop cannons or dance among flamethrowers on-stage without fear of being injured.Knightmare’s main talent is his music, more so than anything, even opening ‘the Musical World’, which activates when facing a musically-inclined foe and pits them in a battle of wills, with the loser suffering severe injuries and exhaustion. This appears outwardly as a sphere of two colors trying to overtake one another, but inside many have seen impossible worlds ranging from vast fleets of ships on an ocean of lava to vast and beautiful starfields. The two fighters commanding mythical warriors and vast armies in an attempt to keep control over the song, as it’s the one who gets the ‘last word’ that ‘wins’ the fight.In stark contrast to Valiant, Knightmare is very calm outside of combat, but NEVER STOPS MOVING when in a fight. He is hyperactive and perpetually mobile, trusting in his footwork and mobility to make up for his pitiful armor.Knightmare’s fancy-looking attire DOES count as armor, as it has been remade a multitude of times to handle dangers on the stage and battlefield, but it’s still mainly to keep him from hurting himself and would provide little defense against Valiant’s arsenal, save for possibly the switchblade.
_____
Tactics
Valiant:
Valiant works very well with Trixie and they have complementary skills and abilities. Valiant used to be a vampire, and understands Cheerilee’s capabilities and limitations. She does not like him, but is generally willing to quash her emotions for the greater good. Sir Win is on good terms with Valiant, although they have never fought together before.
Trixie has been cross-trained with all Valiant’s equipment, like a good daughter should. Cheerilee is at least familiar with most of it, having participated in a robot raid and used plenty of weapons herself.
Knightmare:
Knightmare is a self-admitted and quite willing ‘dirty’ fighter, who isn’t afraid to resort to underhanded moves and liberal use of explosives in combat. His combat motto is ‘If you can’t distract it, scare it. If you can’t scare it, give it a REASON to be scared.’
Knightmare rarely truly ‘loses his temper’ in combat, though he will fake it with standard acting, such as getting up close and personal, menacing glares, yelling and screaming, but when he’s GENUINELY angry, which is rarely seen and the only confirmed ‘trigger’ is insulting one of his lovers[Chrysalis, Nyx, and Celestia] or threatening someone close to him, he goes in a completely different direction, becoming extremely calm and quiet, abandoning all pretense of ‘flashy and epic’ combat and instead aiming to mutilate if not outright KILL his enemies in the most brutal, efficient, and brutally efficient manner. When in this emotional state, he takes on his old human form, looking like a tall, elderly man with a long beard and well-toned muscles. [yes, he looks like Master Roshi.]
When riding Nyx, Knightmare is under a perpetual state of Overclocking, the same state of hypermagical control that can be artificially activated by his staff, Twinkle. In this state he commonly casts a wide array of spells, usually with little aim beyond a general direction, preferring to rely upon splash damage to take out his target or, at the least, remove their cover and make it harder to stay safe.
A full list of Knightmare's 'Mantras' is in this link. [Note: both Special and Game mantras, but not general mantras]]
Knightmare has cross-trained in both choreography and combat with all members of his band, including learning melee combat from Nyx[AKA Princess Nyx Nocte Everfree, AKA Nightmare Moon], learned magical training from Queen Chrysalis Glasswing, learned defensive magic from Shining armor, and, amusingly enough, sharpshooting from Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Sparkle, AKA ‘Princess Cadance’.
________
Weapons Demonstrations [[The part I’ve been waiting for! YAY!]]
Knightmare squeed with glee. “Finally, the FUN part!” He patted Nyx on the head, getting a nod from the demonic alicorn. In a burst of smoke, Nyx reshaped herself into a short, broad-bladed double-bit battleaxe with strings of lightning running along the neck. “Let’s get ready to rumble!”
_____
VALIANT
Panzerfaust
“I’ve got a great demonstration of the Panzerfaust,” said Valiant. He popped in a video tape. The screen lit up, displaying the scene of the changeling-crashed Canterlot wedding.
Chrysalis twitched at the video. “A PanzerFaust?” She asked. “...Is that supposed to be a pun or something?”
“No.” Knightmare replied, “It’s German for ‘Tank Fist’.” He shrugged, not wanting to comment on the use of the name of Celly and Luna’s mom...
“Actually, I did make it a pun,” said Valiant. “See, I used to date this girl named Lauren Faust. We broke up, though. Cartoons were more important to her than getting freaky.”
“.....I’m HOPING you mean the human version of my mother and not my ACTUAL eighty THOUSAND year old MOTHER...” Nyx said, twitching in irritation.
“....I’m kinda hoping the same....” Knightmare said, backing away from the two annoyed goddesses.
“She wouldn’t have been my scariest ex,” said Valiant, shrugging.
Switchblade
“Anyway, back to other weapons,” said Valiant. “The switchblade’s pretty useful. I once fell out of the sky and punched King Sombra with it so hard that he split apart lengthwise. There was also the time I used it to cut the throat of vampire Prince Blueblood.”
“Is it made with tempered steel, or meteoric iron?” Knightmare asked.
“Hell if I know,” Valiant shrugged.
“Just curious. tempered steel is more durable and better at holding an edge, but meteoric iron has innate magical properties that make it handy for enchanted weaponry and Magitek, and it’s also capable of attracting lightning, which, considering me and Nyx tend to SPAM lightning-based magic, may be handy for you...”
Valiant stared at him. “Do I look like a magic user or a freaking geologist? I just beat this old metal rock I found in a crater until it was sharp and pointy.”
“Then it’s highly likely it was meteoric iron.” Knightmare says. “Congrats, if the Vinyl Scratch of your world is half as skilled as ours, she could probably work some enchantments into it later on.”
Tequila
“All I know about Vinyl is that she’s generally invited to parties. Speaking of,” Valiant took a big swig of tequila and grinned. “This stuff is useful for a lot of things. You can make molotov cocktails, blind some mofos, sterilize the wounds of the injured, or just chill. I have an undesignated special talent for growing blue agave, so I can produce as much as I want.”
“...That’s pretty handy, actually. Ever considered refining it into fuel?” Chrysalis said.
“I have oil wells and petroleum for that,” Valiant waved a hoof. “It has a higher energy coefficient and better lubrication properties anyway.”
“True, but with the right refining techniques you can turn that tequila ALMOST as powerful as the refined gasoline, but with an easily obtained renewable resource.” chrysalis grinned. “Make a modification to the base engine design and you’ll get more bang for your buck. That’s what we use to power the Ragnarok’s emergency engines.”
Valiant squinted at her. “Are you some kind of hippy?”
“No, just someone who’s always thinking of long-run survival.”
“She’s also a gearhead, almost as much as Luna.”
“We’ll have to talk robots over drinks later,” said Valiant. “I hope you have a high tolerance. The last time I got a pony drunk it didn’t turn out so well. Here’s a tip: alcohol and gender-bent universes don’t mix.”
“I think you’re forgetting we’re from a different reality. We’ve had alcohol AND tobacco for thousands of years.” Nyx said, “If you don’t mind me bringing some cigars, then Chryssie can provide the alcohol.”
Valiant turned to Knightmare. “Well, that was pretty easy to separate you from your women.”
Knightmare twitched, “I think you fail to realize that while I’m married to both of them, they’ve been married to EACH OTHER for far longer... Those two don’t even have a leash.”
“Except the one we let Celestia borrow to use on YOU.” Chrysalis spoke with a giggle.
Monstrosity
“Anyway, I think I’ll go for a flight,” said Valiant. “Things around here are getting progressively more weird.” He started the engines on his aircraft, the twin propellers beginning to turn.”
“What sort of monstrosity is this?” asked Octavia, gawking at the gigantic flying brick.
“Funny, I think it was that exact question that gave it its name.” Valiant pointed to painted lettering on the side that spelled out Monstrosity. “I don’t mind, though. It’s pretty much indestructable. I’ve crashed into a couple of buildings, got caught in a forest fire, and ran over Derpy in the middle of a tornado, and there’s been exactly zero damage done. Here, let’s have a demonstration.”
Valiant powered up the throttles and the aircraft zoomed skyward. At peak altitude, he casually stepped out of the pilot’s seat and walked back to the cargo hold to board a combat robot of his own design. Monstrosity fell to the ground with whirling high speed rotors, actually digging its way partially underground before coming to rest.
The robot landed nearby on its rocket motors. Valiant used its drilling equipment to extricate his flying machine. “See? Good as new.”
“Hot dayum.” Knightmare said, “Looks as durable as the Ragnarok..maybe moreso.” He gave a slight kick to the vehicle’s steel hull.
ESO
Valiant dusted off the robot’s hand-like appendages, not wanting to mar the stars-and-stripes paint job if he didn’t have to.
“You have a robot, too?” Chrysalis asked.
“I’ve tinkered with the design over a while,” responded Valiant. “This one came from a government contract Princess Luna gave me in preparation for the changeling attack on Canterlot. Since then, I’ve improved a few things and kept the best stuff for myself. It was pretty useful for that one time a couple of us invaded Hell.”
“Huh, sounds like Griffin’s antics.” Octavia said, crossing her paws with a raised brow.
“Who?”
“Lord-Captain Griffin North.” Octavia said, “Current king of the New Dominion, ally of Equestria, Knightmare’s perpetual pranking rival, known by various titles such as ‘The Cursed Bird’, ‘The HateSeed’, ‘Changeling Bane’, ‘The HellFlyer’, and ‘The Wraith’. He is a human-turned-equestrian, much like you and Knightmare.”
“And.” Nyx began, “All of us agree, even now that he’s calmed down, he’s STILL an asshole.”
Valiant looked up and pulled the bottle of tequila from his lips. “I’m sorry, what? Were you saying something?”
_____
KNIGHTMARE
Nyx: Guitaxe
Knightmare patted Nyx on the head, sharing a nod with her. With one hard smack, the demonic alicorn vanished into a mist, reforming rapidly into a lightning-stringed guitar with long, sharp blades for a body.
“Ladies and gents, and I use said terms loosely, meet Nyx .” He gave the guitar-axe a quick twirl before playing a quick power chord, sending sparks of electricity flying. “Not the most ‘balanced’ weapon in the traditional sense, but perfect for high-speed hit and run tactics.”
Clockwork Assault Rifle
Knightmare reached behind his back, pulling out what looked like an AK-47, but made entirely of clockwork parts, including a cute-looking little clockwork key. “The Clockwork Assault Rifle, used during the Great War by Megan and the Wardens against Tirek the destroyer. They’re kinda rare, but I was able to cobble one together from multiple broken ones. They’re easy to break, but easier to repair, and have little issues with jamming. An old rune in them allows them to split any non-explosive bullets they fire into three shots, so every bullet serves as a three round burst. I have multiple different bullets I like to use, but I have an example shown by my counterpart in the Visionary universe that can show how they all work.” Knightmare pulls out the tape and pops it into the VCR.
******
CAR Demonstration: Unity Games
Having, apparently, managed to get away from the Diamond dog kleptomaniac with some time to spare, Knightmare, Pinks[Pinkie Clone], and Twinxie [the Twin-Trixie] all make their way to the castle courtyard.
"OK, Knight." Twinxie says, removing the bag of holding, "Let's get you suited up for the tournament. It's going to be started soon and I'd rather you be ready in time to witness the example duel so you can't screw up. Pinks and I will be watching from the stands, north side, front row, shortly to the left of the dignitaries. Are you ready?"
"Ash I ever be, Twinkshie." Knightmare cracked his neck lightly and stood up straight. As he did, Twinxie removed the apparent scrap metal, munitions belts, and the magic staff from the bag of holding before sealing it up and placing it back on her hip, since bags of holding were against the rules of the tournament.
A quick rust-cleaning spell revealed the scrap metal to be, admittedly shoddy barding, which was promptly placed on Knightmare's body. It provided almost no protection, but didn't hamper his movements at all. She then attached the belts to several hooks, allowing it to wrap around hsi barrel, leaving more than enough room for his four wings to buzz freely. The clockwork assault rifle hooked onto another port, attaching to a slightly loose end of the belt and resting gently on Knightmare's shoulder.
"Alpha test, Shoulder swap." Twinxie said. Knightmare responded by rapidly bobbing his head, causing the assault rifle to pop back and forth over his bowed head from the right shoulder to the left and back.
"Good, it's still working. I was afraid the rust would have damaged something. We REALLY need to get a professional to make you a new set...we SHOULD have had a professional make you a new set before the tournament BEGAN but we don't have time now." Twinxie lit up her horn and lifted the staff, sliding it into a saddle-side holster, allowing Kngihtmare to keep it close without having to focus on it, nor having it n the way.
"Beta test. Mage Link." Knightmare lit up his horn, a channel leading from the thin tin helmet to the Clockwork assault rifle, and to the magic stave known as 'Twinkle', both flowing smoothly and unobstructed. "Good. No damage to the power conduits. hopefully nothing will blow up on you. OK, Pinks, load up his ammo while I put on the final touch."
As the duplicate pink pony began loading up ammunition, Trixie removed the Chrysalis plush toy and placed another set of tin armor, this set kept immaculately clean and looking quite regal, and placed the toy into the armor. She then set it onto the saddle of Knightmare's barding and locked it in place. She finished just as the blindingly fast pink earth pony clone finished loading up a total of 10 rounds of Hellfire munitions in the secondary barrel, and four 25-round sections of the main belt with Meteor, Holy, Crystal, and Jester shot. Plus one of each ready to fire.
"Final test. Munitions. Phase 1: Hellfire." Knightmare lit up his horn and took aim at the target-shaped shield spell Twinxie conjured. The trigger of the under-hand barrel was pulled, launching a single Hellfire bullet. The shot, formed from volcanic Hellstone, flew in a slight arc, like a grenade, and exploded upon impact with the target.
""Good it's still working. Good thing we learned about the whole 'explode on contact' thing before trying to use the main barrel... OK Phase 2: Holy." This time the end of the belt, split in four sections, one for each type of bullet, clicked into place, loading the one extra Holy shot. The trigger was pulled and the main barrel fired, not once, not twice, but three times. A singe bullet consumed, but three launched. Each one impacted the magic target and vanished in a puff, albeit with noticeable impact force. A split second, two stars for each shot crashed down onto the target, vanishing in sparks. Less forceful than the initial bullet, but an unexpected effect none-the-less.
"Perfect. I still love how beautiful it is to see. Phase 3: Meteor Shot." Once again, the multi-ended belt clicked ito place and an extra Meteor sot was loaded. Upon firing, ocne again, three launched for one shot. But upon impacting the target, the bullets bounced back, impacting the castle wall, before ricocheting at an unlikely angle back towards the target before finally shattering into uselessness.
"Meteor shot, never leave home without it. Phase 4: Crystal Shot." The belt clicked into place again, this time loading a bullet of crystal. Upon firing, once again, three were launched, and upon impact, they shattered into thousands of bits and pieces, each shard of crystal scratching and scraping against the nearly-unbreakable shield-target, although some bits stubbornly embedded themselves onto it.
"I swear for something we got in the Crystal empire, Crystal shot is just plain SADISTIC....Phase 5: Jester Shot!" The fourth belt clocked into place, a bullet of solid light loaded in and fired. Instead of normal shots, however, what was launched let off beautiful multi-colored sparks as it trailed, before piercing clean through the shield-target as if it wsn't there, travelling a whole twenty feet from their launch-point before detonating in a shower of sparks and stars.
"Heh...NEVER underestimate Jester Shot. OK, looks like you got good scores all again, I'd say you're ready....but I STILL say we should get that barding upgraded after the tournament....unless, of course, King Aurus is willing to let us get it done NOW."
The tape ended.
“The jungle shot, however, is a bit newer.” Kngitmare said. “Luna, got a firing range I can use to test fire it?”
“Yeah, right over here, Knightmare.” the midnight blue alicorn points towards a large, in-door shooting range made from bricks of reinforced stone capable of stopping a tank’s main gun. Knightmare looks up to see timbers being used to prvent recoil and smiles. “Need a target?”
“Nope, just something to demonstrate with.” The changeling hops inside, over the barricade, and readies his weapon. “The thing about Jungle shot is that it’s not a lethal round. It’s more of a utility and capture bullet.” He readies the gun to fire, aiming down a dozen feed ahead of himself. “When it impacts, a small wisp of magic is generated, this causes all plantlife within a dozen meters to become hyperactive. They react by growing vines and branches out towards the wisp. This can allow a target to become ensnared, or to create platforms.” He opens fire and a trio of glowing green bullets fire out, impacting the ground and leaving three smoky balls of green light. Immediately the formerly-dead timbers spring to life, growing vines and branches out towards the wisps, the vines lashing out with such force that a few actually break into the ground, whilst others wrap around the steadied vines, creating a large net, through which the branches claw their way through, eventually ending with a large barricade of plant matter. “Not exactly lethal, but for a temporary barricade, snatching an opponent, or just to make traversing jungle canopy easier, it’s really handy.”
Twinkle
Knightmare tapped the ground with a jagged-looking staff, the weapon’s head bearing seven crystals floating serenely within the crook, ignoring gravity with gentle bliss. “This is Twinkle. Luna gave it to me when Celestia Knighted me, an old tradition from Luna’s days before the Nightmare incident.” He smiles, twirling the weapon with ease. “It’s designed to allow me to channel my voice to deafening proportions and, with enough will backing it, I can be heard clear across the country, though such a feat is taxing on my mind. It also allows me to cast ‘Magic Missile’ through it at a rapid pace. With it I can also enter a state known as ‘Overclocking’, also commonly called a ‘Rage Shift’, similar to what twilight does when her hair catches fire from raw power. Though, I gotta say, it’s most useful trait? It’s COMPLETELY indestructible. NOTHING will so much as damage this thing. I can tie it in a knot and with a flick of the wrist, it’ll spring back into place and be ready for a long-range magical beatdown in the blink of an eye.”
Valiant scratched his head. “So is this all some sort of complicated joke about you having powerful wood?”
“....no, actually, it’s not.” He promptly, literally, ties the staff into a knot and bops Valiant over the head with it, causing the staff to whip itself back into place. “Quite handy, doncha think?”
LAHIRE: Speed Form
Changing the subject, Knightmare grins. “You’ve got your robot, I’ve got mine.” with a flash of green light, Knightmare transforms himself into a sleek, aerodynamic war machine. Lacking the thick armor of Valiant’s mech, Knightmare’s new ‘form’ is, instead, slender and sharp, built for speed and equipped with a destructive energy-based arsenal built for fast-flying combat. “The LAHIRe-Speed Type transformation.” Knightmare says, his voice coming as a mechanical drone, as if a computer given life was speaking, instead of a changeling. “In this form, I am capable of thinking at a far faster pace than normal, due to having a computer brain, rather than a flesh one. Though it means my normal emotional drive is deadened, it isn’t completely gone. I am also capable of moving far FAR faster than normal, and have come just barely shy of pulling off a Sonic Rainboom of my own on several occasions. My arsenal is designed to take down heavily armored targets as quickly as possible using high-velocity hit and run tactics.”
“How are you supposed to use the restroom?” asked Valiant. “At least with my robot I can get out to make a pit stop.”
“I do need raw matter to serve as the mass behind the plasma....” Knightmare shrugs non-committally. “Yeah...it’s like that.”
Nyx: Alicorn
Shifting back, Knightmare flings Nyx into the air, allowing the daemonic mare to reform her real body again. “You have a vehicle that can fly, and so do I. I swear Nyx is like a Swiss army mare. She cooks,she cleans, she flies, she’s a guitar, she can level mountains, and she’s proven herself a combat badass on a multitude of occasions.”
Valiant shrugged. “But does it blend?”
Knightmare turns to Nyx, who’s currently using her magic to make smoothies out of various fruits and ice cream. “.....Yeah, I think she does.”
_____
SWAPOUT
Valiant picked up the guitar. Knightmare looked at him skeptically. “Do you know how to play?”
“Yeah, one of my ex-girlfriends taught me.” The earth pony got the instrument settled and put his hooves near the strings.
“What genre?” asked Knightmare.
Valiant’s eyes narrowed. “Folk.” He stuck a chord. “This land is your land, this land is my land...”
“OK Gimme my war goddess back, dammit!” Knightmare growls, “I refuse to let her suffer under FOLK MUSIC.”
“Well, at least let me take your stick for a test drive,” replied Valiant, grabbing for Twinkle the staff. He paused. “Wait, that came out wrong.” The cluster of laughs that arose made the agreement unanimous.
“Alright, starting with Twinkle, it’s designed to allow me to use magic more easily...that’s because I SUCKED at magic in the early years of the Game. If you use it, you might be able to pull o-YIPE!” Knightmare ducks just in time for a spray of magical bolts of light to whizz past his head and smack into Were-Tavi’s face, eliciting an angry growl from the earthpony thestral.
“Due to the Great Cutie Mark Mixup, I briefly was talented with magic,” remarked Valiant, giving the staff a twirl. “Does it show?”
“Yeah, a smidge,” shot back Knightmare, a cocky grin on his face as he holds the very angry werepony from shredding Valiant. “So, mind if I check out the Faustcannon?”
“Panzerfaust.” Nyx corrected.
“.....that was supposed to be a joke.”
“Your jokes suck when you’re not on an adrenaline rush.”
“....point taken.” He turns back to Valiant, “May I please see the Panzerfaust, good sir?”
“Sure. Be careful, it panzers Fausts.”
Knightmare chuckles at the joke, the chuckle going into a full laugh at the slapping sound of Nyx’s facehoof at the horrid wording. “A’ight, gimme dat.” He takes the massive tube of metal in his hands, looking it over and getting a feel for the weight. “Nicely tooled. For working with inferior equipment, I dare say you outshined the original design. It certainly LOOKS like a classic World War 2-era Panzerfaust, but the weight and size? Seems closer to a Vietnam-era bazooka, albeit with a bigger payload.”
“Where the hell did you get that information?” asked Valiant.
Knightmare shrugged. “Just pulling it out of my ass, mostly.”
Nyx rolled her eyes, “Knightmare, stop making shit up.”
“Meh, it’s still lighter than any Panzerfaust I ever used.”
“As if you actually used one.” Nyx countered. In response, Knightmare flipped a trio of rockets into the air, pulling one down into the weapon’s barrel, aiming and firing in less than a second, shredding two of the targets down range from the blast. He flipped the cannon up and loaded a second shot just as they reached their upper arc, aimed, and fired again, destroying three more targets, and held the Panzerfaust vertical just in time for the last shot to slide into place, which was then aimed and fired, taking out the last few targets.
Valiant had carefully stepped to the side before the shooting began. The rocket exhaust from the launch tube blasted Nyx in the face as Knightmare fired.
Nyx’s eyes bugged out at the sight, her face blackened more than normal by the blast. “....okay, so you DO know how to use one...”
“I was in my late seventies before I came here. I had joined the army in my youth, during World War Two, and a stolen Panzerfaust was one of my favorite weapons.” Knightmare grinned, “So while I was pulling the ‘Vietnam-era bazooka’ bit out of my ass, I DO know this is much lighter and easier to use than a standard Panzerfaust....”
“I swear.” Octavia growls, “Every damnable day you bring out more surprises, Knightmare...”
“I’m a very surprising man, Miss Phillharmonica.”
“I bet I’m more surprising,” challenged Valiant. He tossed a bottle of his finest tequila in Knightmare’s direction. Knightmare grabbed it, tossing his Clockwork Assault rifle back.
Knightmare looked over the bottle curiously, noting the label that listed its origin as the Ponyville Library Distillery . “....alcohol? Seriously? Alcohol?” He points to the bottle in his hand curiously, a deadpan expression firmly gripping his face like facehugger made of confusion. Despite having no idea where that analogy came from, his point was made.
Valiant shrugged. “Some earth ponies have a special talent for growing things. Mine is for blue agave. Now drink up. Like the fine print on the label says, it’s not for minors or buzzkills.”
“I’m no buzzkill, but I’m not suicidal either. Alcohol is lethal for changelings and flutterponies, and as someone who’s halfway between them and human, I’m fairly sure I’d wind up in a lot of pain or an early grave waiting for Celestia to haul my chitinous ass back from Tartarus...again..” Knightmare looks at the bottle, recalling his long life and comes up with a few useful ways to use the liquid, ranging from flashy, to practical.
“....ever seen a flare rune?” Knightmare asks, “They’re what are used in the jet engines that propel the Ragnarok. Very handy, but they need to be fueled. I usually keep a bottle of fuel on hand to use them in battle but this should be a good substitute.”
Knightmare then begins rapidly tapdancing, cutting shallow grooves in the floor with his hooves. A runic disc takes shape and he finishes it off be cutting the outer circle and pouring tequila on it. “Now, whenever I need to, I just tap the activation rune in the center and blammo!” He stomps on the center and a jet of hot air launches him straight up into the rafters. “Great for getting quick air and for some damn fun traps mid-battle!”
Valiant thought for a moment. “Is Nyx fireproof? I’m picturing a Jimi Hendrix burning-guitar moment here.”
Nyc responds by grabbing the bottle, downing it all, and casting a fire spell on her own stomach. Instead of exploding, she belches out a gout of black flames that sears Knightmare’s shoes, causing the anthropomorphic changeling to dance around the fight club rafters in pain and shock. “Still wondering if I’m fireproof?”
Valiant snapped the rifle to his shoulder and blasted a few of the supporting beams, dropping Knightmare back to the floor in a pile of splintered wood. The earth pony grinned and tossed the weapon from hoof to hoof. “I have no idea what the special ammunition is for, and it would probably get confusing to tell it all apart mid-battle, but I do like how this baby handles. Nice and ergonomic. I would know. I’ve built a few guns.”
“I actually cobbled that together out of the remains of a fair few of them, all of the parts are from the Great War, Forty Thousand years ago.” Knightmare said, sounding rather proud, “Loony made some upgraded versions built with Griffin’s gem-based magic and an easier loading system, but I still trust my belt-fed beast anyway, I put a lot of work into it and it’s my only weapon that doesn’t use or require magic beyond a single self-powering rune.”
Trixie hefted her M60. “Belt-fed is the way to go.”
“Agreed, certainly more fun than trying to load the rounds one at a time.” Knightmare held out one of each of the specialized rounds. “To deal with any confusion, they’re all color coded. Black are Hellfire, they explode, White is Jester, they pierce armor and are flashy-looking, Blue is Crystal, they shatter, pink is Holy, they call stars down from above, Green is Jungle, they make vines lash whatever’s hit, and Red is Meteor, they bounce around. That should help clear up some confusion. The US military does the same with their specialized rounds like explosive and armor-piercing.”
The blue unicorn mare shrugged. “One variety is all I need. Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.”
“So good old normal bullets?” Knightmare says. “Good to know. the Clockwork Assault Rifle’s bore is much bigger, since it doesn’t use explosives to propel the bullet and aside from a light shake, has no recoil, it’s a twenty millimeter bullet, same size as many world-war 2-era anti-tank cannons.”
“If I’m holding the M60 with magic or it’s mounted to the aircraft, then recoil isn’t an issue,” explained Trixie. “Besides, can you beat ten rounds per second ?”
Nyx takes the Clockwork Assault Rifle, instead of Knightmare and hooks up a short, ten-round belt to the gun. One trigger pull, one shot consumed, but a trio of blue Crystal shot fly down the firing range, shattering against the wall and shredding two hanging paper targets. Nine more shots in rapid succession, and another twenty seven bullets are flying through the air. “The C.A.R’s main strength isn’t it’s speed, but rather it’s accuracy and efficiency.” she says, handing it back to Valiant. “Knightmare used it for the same reason the wardens used it during the War. It was a weapon that would remain reliable even as munitions dwindled. Perfect for a lone fighter with no way to get more ammunition.”
Valiant shrugged and hefted the assault rifle. “True, but Rambo didn’t carry this thing.”
“That’s because Rambo was a soldier, not a Warden.” Knightmare said, “He didn’t have access to advanced magitek like this.”
Rolling his eyes, Valiant corrected, “Actually, Rambo was Army Special Forces. I thought you were better at pop culture than this.”
“I’ll be honest, I found the Rambo films kinda boring.” Knightmare shrugged, “Whaddya want? I’m as of right now, almost ninety and I LIVED through World War Two, Vietnam, and The Chessgame of the Gods. Really, Rambo’s antics were small-time compared to that. Plus, even if I WAS a Rambo fanatic, if given the choice between a M60 and the C.A.R when fighting through the Chessgame all over again? I’d STILL pick the C.A.R, simply because it’s easier to repair, easier to get munitions for, and most importantly, EFFICIENT.”
“He’s doing it again,” murmured Cheerilee, rolling her eyes. “You let Valiant troll you into a shouting match.”
“Let them go on,” said Sir Win, grinning. “I like a good catfight.”
“Honestly, he’s barely got Knightmare riled up yet.” Chrysalis replied, “Knightmare’s like that, only certain things really annoy him. He likes playing along with trolls just to see them react.”
“So, wanna try out some of the special munitions, Valiant?” Knightmare grins, “Or are you scared?”
Valiant’s expression took on a decidedly challenging attitude. “Get me all the ammo you have. Remember that ‘accuracy and efficiency’ was the Axis model for fighting World War II. We beat ‘em with sheer numbers.”
Knightmare grins and hands Valiant a one hundred round belt of nothing but black bullets. “Here, try some of these lil’ poprocks.” The ‘bullets’ it’s now clear, are in fact twenty millimeters, specifically, twenty millimeter marbles! He wasn’t kidding when he said this thing was over forty millenia old.
“I seem to remember you claiming high accuracy,” commented Valiant. “Not sure how that’s going to happen with spherical bullets, but if these things are even half as powerful as you claim I sure hope they hit the intended target.”
“Give ‘em a try, so long as you don’t freak out, then they’ll hit what you aim for.” Knightmare said, the ghost of a grin on his face, a look that made Nyx, Chrysalis, and Octavia take several steps backwards.
“I think I’ll record this on the high-speed.” Luna interjects, “I’ve got a theory as to how they can be so accurate but I need to see it in action, and my eyes aren’t THAT fast.”
“I’ll bet it’s magic,” said Valiant, spitting out the word like it tasted bad. “I never trusted anything I couldn’t see and touch. Heck, I even came up with an anti-magic blocking system. With the theory that ‘energy is energy is energy,’ all it takes is figuring out the right frequency. After that, you can jam it or destructively interfere, but my favorite is applying a Faraday Cage and grounding it. Twilight was unhappy when I tested it on her.”
“Well let’s not rely on theories.” Luna says, “I took that thing apart so I know the only magic is the splitting rune and, aside from being self-powering, that’s the only magic it has in it. Everything else is highly advanced clockwork machinery. So hit the range and let ‘em rip!”
Valiant closed top cover, locking the belt in place. He stepped up to the firing line and drew a bead on the targets down range. The first shot hit the target and it shattered to pieces. The auto-firing weapon continued to spit out Hellfire bullets as he swept the range with ammunition.
Knightmare inched up behind Valiant, leaned forward..and screamed in his ears. “AHMYGAWDIT’SDISCORDHE’SBACKRUNFORYOURLIVESOPENFIRETHEBLACKTWINSAREBACKFROMTHEDEADHELP!”
Valiant whirld in surprise and fear, the assault rifle continuing to spray bullets in all directions. Knightmare dived out of the way just ahead of a barrage of explosive projectiles, their impacts throwing bits of the floor and building everywhere. The spinning ball of death Valiant had become continued until the weapon ran out of ammo.
“Sorry,” said Valiant. “This was built for someone else and my hoof got stuck in the trigger guard.” He smirked as if to say, ‘That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.’
“Well that was...shocking.” Luna said, dropping the shield that protected the non-immortals and her delicate equipment from being shredded to powder by the explosive bullets. Up above, Knightmare was rolling along the rafters, laughing like a maniac at the sight.
“Oh man that was fucking hilarious...” the changeling High-General said, “Woona! PLEASE tell me you recorded that!”
“But of course, both regular AND High Speed! Let’s take a look at the footage, shall we?” The footage caught all of the mayhem with ease and, amusingly enough, revealed that the force of firing the semi-malleable bullets caused them to form, essentially, darts shortly after leaving the barrel, explaining the weapon’s surprising accuracy for something that uses marbles as bullets.
Valiant looked up. “Your turn. Catch!” He spit out his switchblade, popped the sharp edge, and threw in in Knightmare’s direction. Knightmare watched the spinning knife approach. He certainly didn’t want to catch it by the sharp end, but also was not keen on touching Valiant’s spit. Instead, he flicked his wrist, summoning Nyx from her position on the ground into his hand, juggling the deadly blade for a brief moment before grabbing it in a small handkerchief, which he promptly used to clean both weapons of saliva.
“Remember, NO FOLK MUSIC, or it’ll be HER you need to worry about.” He says, before tossing Nyx into the air, letting the spinning axe drop down and stick into the concrete floor just a few inches away from Valiant’s nose.
The orange pony worked it loose. “I guess my ex also taught me some Journey. I really started to hate that band when we broke up, but I remember it.”
“Learn some AC/DC.” Nyx says, the axe speaking calmly, her seven strings of lightning vibrating like her vocal chords.
Valiant rolled his eyes. “That Scottish/Australian mashup? I guess that is still better than anything I’ve heard in Equestria.” He began strumming his way through the opening bars of Don’t Stop Believin’ .
“Equestria’s Metal scene was sorely lacking before we showed up.” Knightmare says, juggling the switchblade lightly. “Did you ever learn Mage-Techniques? Or do they not exist in your universe?”
“Is that like power chords?” asked Valiant. “Or are we not talking about music anymore?”
“...not quite.” Knightmare responds, taking the knife into a reverse grip and forming a second false knife from lightning magic. "Here, lemme show you." Knightmare shows off an array of clearly magic-based weapons skills, each one unique and powerful, growing more bizarre and dangerous as he progresses.
“Wanna learn, kiddo?” Nyx asks, her voice implanting unique knowledge into his mind.
Valiant braced his hooves against the side of his head. “I can appreciate a quick transfer of information, but get out of my thoughts or I’ll show you things so rule 34 that not even the internet dares create them.”
“I’ve been in Knightmare’s head,” Nyx says, drawing herself from Valiant’s mind, “I’ll be honest, I’ve seen FAR worse than whatever you can consider from his sweet dreams. His nightmares, however, would shatter your mind.”
Valiant opened his mouth but Sir Win broke into the conversation. “While who’s been through more Hell is always an interesting conversation, I believe this was about the weapons?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Valiant looked at Nyx. “I guess that leaves transportation. I can only imagine the irony, a pony riding a pony.” He glanced at Knightmare. “I don’t really mind you trying to fly Monstrosity . Not even Wildfire, Lauren Faust’s friend, could break it.”
“Don’t forget the robots,” reminded Chrysalis.
“I have no idea how I’m supposed to turn myself into some sort of changeling mech,” replied Valiant. He rubbed his chin. “Although...”
“Shapeshifting isn’t THAT hard if you know the right spells, and I doubt we’d NEED to swap our robot forms....” Knightmare shrugs.
“Good. I’ve done enough bouncing through various universes to know that I don’t appreciate shifting forms.” Valiant shuddered. “I hope one day to forget what happened in Universe 63.”
“To be honest, you do make a rather pretty mare,” said Sir Win. Valiant shot him with a withering glare, but didn’t reply, knowing that such comments were simply in the demon’s flaming nature.
Valiant turned back towards Nyx. “Anyway, do I need a bit and bridle or something? Maybe a saddle, or do you like it bareback?” He gave Knightmare a preemptive look to stave off any innuendo.
“As funny as that would be,” Nyx began, “My barding serves as it’s own saddle. Just try to not fall off.”
“Let’s see if I learned anything from all those mechanical bulls in all those bars,” muttered Valiant. “Time for boarding the broad with the barding.”
As Valiant hopped onto the daemonic Alicorn’s back, the cool metal of the barding seemed to conform to his shape, being unusually comfortable for what was supposed to be cold metal, and seemingly locking him into position. A sensation of powerful magics began coursing through his body, mind, and soul, granting power unrivaled.
“Hold on tight!” Nyx said...before taking off like a bucking bronco, leaping and kicking and flipping and flying throughout the large warehouse at a mind-boggling speed.
“Good thing I learned how to do this with a drunken handicap,” Valiant muttered.
As Nyx continued her rampage, the powerful magic coursing through Valiant’s body began to spray out of him. with no guidance or control, it formed jets of raw energy, ripping up the reinforced concrete floor and tearing into the walls and ceiling, only a rapidly erected shield keeping the bystanders from being vaporized by the intense raw power flying about uncontrollably.
“DUDE!” Knightmare shouted, “TRY DOING SPELLS!”
Valiant waved his hooves like he was in a slap fight with an invisible opponent.
“...what the hell are you doing?” Nyx asks, having stopped bouncing around. “You look like a moron.”
“In case you forgot, I’m pony riding a pony. The situation was already pretty far out there to begin with.”
“That’s no excuse to flail about like a nimrod.” Nyx snarled. “Knightmare, gets your rump on my back and let’s show him how it’s SUPPOSED to be done!”
“Just watch and learn, Valiant.” Knightmare said, mounting Nyx in his normal changeling form. The hellish horse took off immediately, bucking and flailing wildly. But rather than fighting to stay in control, Knightmare let himself be taken with the beat, flicking out his hooves with each buck, letting his mind flow and casting an array of spells, not just random blasts of destruction, but buffs, healing spells, and even more powerful magic that he couldn’t cast normally.
After several dozen more tests, the data was checked over and double checked for accuracy.
“OK, lads.” Luna said, “We’ll send the videos and data to the judges for final testing before the match. C’mon, let’s stop by Star’s End, my treat!”
“Oh, goody. we’re gonna get drunk off our asses.” Knightmare sighed, having had WAY too many bad experiences with alcohol.
“Sugar, you don’t know the half of it.” Nyx grinned, “Let me show you a drink called ‘The Seven Deadly Sins ’.”
Musical Mayhem of the Future
Knightmare laughed.
He had plenty of reason too, after what had happened. Before him stood more than a thousand of the UnSeelie’s greatest warriors. His band was nowhere in sight, his only allies were myself, Empress Nyx of the Nightmares, and Drake, the Prince of Madness.
They were all screwed SO badly!
Ever since he first took a life in the battle with Ragnarok, Knightmare had...changed. Gone was the harmless party animal relying on luck and wits to win a battle.
Replaced with this, a warrior who truly deserved his title. High-General of the Changeling Armada.
Sir Knightmare DemonBane.
Unlike the leaders of the Piece’s homeworld, we were royals who actually DID something! We’ve been pestering and annoying these damnable UnSeelie Fae as much as possible, specifically to make them send their mightiest warriors to stop us.
And it succeeded!
“Knightmare.” I spoke. “Shall we?” He grinned, as much baring his fangs as expressing joy. Drake smiled as well, but with far less anger and far more glee.
“You IMBECILES!” the commander of the UnSeelie army snarls, stomping towards us through the dusty city of Los Angeles.
Hook.
“I will GLADLY end your lives here and now....but I want to know one simple thing.”
Line.
“Why? WHY can’t you three IDIOTS do anything NORMALLY!?”
Sinker!
“You really don’t know me very well, do ya?” Knightmare said, his grin widening. “Dude. I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but.....I’m a ROCK STAR! I straight up don’t DO ‘NORMAL!’” He bumped fists with me and Drake, cueing our little ‘strategy’. Immediately I formed a circle of magic to protect us from their attacks. Drake let his Chaos magics run wild and unrestrained.
Knightmare began to play.
Well, it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me Oh, that shit makes me bat-shit crazy We've got no fear, no doubt, all-in, balls out
Knightmare’s music drew the Chaos magic into a form, functioning to his will. A rift opened in mid air, revealing our ‘surprise’. ALL of Knightmare’s eidolon allies were waiting, ready to leap into battle!
Bahamut: The Dragon King
Atomos: The Gatekeeper
We're going off tonight to kick out every light Take anything we want, drink everything in sight We're going 'til the world stops turning While we burn it to the ground tonight
Asura: the Demonic Defender
The Brothers: Twins of Terra
Crusaders: The Thirteen Holy Knights
We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me Oh, we got no class, no taste, no shirt, shit faced We got 'em lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown
Diabolos: The Chaos-Bringer
Phantasm: the Doomtrain
We're going off tonight to kick out every light Take anything we want, drink everything in sight We're going 'til the world stops turning While we burn it to the ground tonight
Ifrit: Child of Prometheus
Ramuh: Master of Storms
Shiva: the Ice Queen
Ticking like a time bomb, drinking 'til the night's gone Get you hands off this glass, last call, my ass Well, no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop We got no friend, no doubt, all-in, balls out
Valigarmanda: The Dragonbird
Yojimbo: The Dark Samurai
And the youngest of them all.
Trixie: The Paladin of Harmony
“ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE! CHAOTIC HARMONY!” The three of us screamed, having planned and practiced this for far too long. It’s time to KICK FLANK!
We're going off tonight to kick out every light Take anything we want, drink everything in sight We're going 'til the world stops turning While we burn it to the ground tonight
Our small army of Eidolons stood not even twenty strong, but it seems the weaker, or was it smarter, amongst our foes knew what they were up against. I’ll give them points for their bravery in not pissing themselves.
We're going off tonight to kick out every light Take anything we want, drink everything in sight We're going 'til the world stops turning While we burn it to the ground tonight
“So.” Knightmare said, “Who’s first?” With a flick of his wrist, his guitar lashed out on strings of lightning, spinning like a vicious buzzsaw on a string. He leaped onto my back while me and Drake took to the skies.
To this day, I’m still uncertain what it was that Drake heard across the void to make him flee the battle, but in the aftermath, as we collected our thoughts, I believe he may have feared facing our ultimate ability.
In that moment, as our Eidolon allies leaped into battle to face their mass of troops and army of immense insects, we two stood face to face with their commander, the head of this damnable scorpion known as The UnSeelie Army. Knightmare and I agreed silently that, for once, we must again take a life.
Pooling our magics together, I fused with him, melding into his mind and body. He allowed me to take over him, and I completed the transformation. Gone was the tall humanoid changeling, replaced with a melding of flesh and machine. As much an alicorn as a TaoKa beastess. The combined might of his three ‘warforms’, with Nightmare Sol’s Darkfire magics, Veltianna’s immense brute strength, and Lahire’s blinding speed and weaponry.
Separately, they are powerful, if difficult to utilize forms.
United... they are The Legion
We were as one. Knightmare and Nightmare. Musician and Instrument. Demon and Angel. Alicorn, Changeling, Nightmare, TaoKa, and Machine. For those who’ve not seen this form before, picture a massive cat-like humanoid, towering fifteen feet tall, with machinery interwoven with flesh. A coal grey pelt and twin horns sweeping back from our forehead. Our mane was a black, ethereal flame, and wings of steel and blood forged of not feathers or leather, but weapons of destruction.
OK, sorry, Knightmare’s berating me for getting too flowery in the description. Suffice to say, we’re damn ugly by most standards.
In the Eternal Battle of Supreme Benevolence versus Absolute Evil The Beast Always Triumphs My name is Legion, for We Are Many
Knightmare and I leaped forward, our form acting as one. With a mighty punch, we sent him flying backwards, slamming into a ruined police car.
The war still remains, no kingdom on earth There's only pure evil, indifference to birth In the tombs of the dead one man breeds alone The unearthly warfare shadows the throne
An unearthly howl escapes our throat, spewing purple and green flames across the battlefield, lighting the commander’s armor ablaze.
Three temptations written down The lust of flesh, lust of the eyes Finally the pride of life
I let Knightmare take command, and he used his favorite attack, \what he called ‘Electronic Yo-Yo’, flinging the guitar I called home on threads of lightning, slicing through several unlucky evil elves that got in our way.
The demon twelve, the hell hounds My name is Legion, for we are many spirits inside of one To build a land of chaos brought forth from the abyss My name is Legion, and we bring destruction and death
We gored the Commander through and hoisted him up fast enough to fling him skyward. He wasn’t out...yet.
Possessing his soul, the curse of the damned A tormented victim, to the bottom he's slammed One man stands alone trapped, under a spell Encounter your demons, send them to hell
Our wings spread, and missiles of magic and force flew, streaks of purple flame the only warning where the tiny projectiles flew, storming the battlefield and sending any unlucky souls flying.
No temptations left to fend, sanctified, Anti-Christ Casting shadows towards the cross
The commander never fought back. He never got the chance too.
The demon twelve, the hell hounds My name is Legion, for we are many spirits inside of one To build a land of chaos brought forth from the abyss My name is Legion, and we bring destruction and death
He was expecting a fool. A buffoon. A weakling....
The demon twelve, the hell hounds My name is Legion, for we are many spirits inside of one To build a land of chaos brought forth from the abyss My name is Legion, and we bring destruction and death
Instead, he got us.
And thus was the beginning of the end of the Fae War.
Notes: I am adding this because Tamara Bloodhoof designs D&D weaponry and items for lulz, and this is the stats she gave for Knightmare’s axe-guitar, Nyx. Be forewarned, it’s ripped straight from the chatroom and it’s a LONG list....
Nyx of the Night
Defending: lose numerical attack bonus in order to increase ACDueling: +4 to initiative, +2 to Trip and Disarm, +2 to resist both.
Returning: Thrown weapon will return to you at the end of the turnSpell Storing: retains cast spells of up to 3rd level (6 if Nyx likes you)
If Nyx distrusts you, then it is only a +1 Greataxe with Throwing/Returning properties.Also, even if she does, you must make a DC 40+ or so will save or else throw away all other instruments and weapons you have on your person
Unless you have Nyx in hand and can make two DC30 perform checks, then you lose the Defending/Dueling quality
If you do a DC:20 Perform check, then you may activate the power of one of your seven strings, each one granting you a new power.
Red: +1 to stealth
If you hit a magician while he is casting, and he loses the spell, you gain it in Nyx, as long as it is level 6 or lower
Nyx automatically gives you the Bonus Feat: Shot on the Run (may make one attack with the weapon at any point during a move action)
Nyx the Guitaxe
The Angel of Music VS The Demon of Metal
“Hey there, newbie!” Nyx shouted, the once-evil alicorn hopped down from the catwalk high above, landing right beside her un-armored twin. “So, you’re that ‘Tundra Stanza’, right? From the tourney last week?” She smiled disarmingly...or it would be if it wasn’t for her inch-long fangs.
“Y-yeah, that’s me,” stammered Tundra kind of creeped out by the fangs, “Nice to meet you...” She trails off, unsure of what to call the other alicorn in the room.
The alicorn peers in closely and begins sniffing around Tundra’s face, concentrating around the ears and mane. She hmms gently as she finishes the ‘inspection’. “Sorry, we’ve still been having trouble with Shadow Clones, and I wanted to ensure you are really who you say you are..” The demonic alicorn turns around. “Well, are you just gonna stand there, or do you wanna meet the band before we kick this party into overdrive?”
Shadow clones? thinks Tundra, Who does she think I am? Scootaloo?
Nyx leads Tundra down to the dressing room, where-in they meet the rest of the band, all getting into their uniforms Rarity had designed. Scootaloo couldn't help but stand up and show off hers, especially after getting it done so quickly. Amongst the others in the room were Applebloom and Sweetiebelle, Cadance, Shining armor, Chrysalis, Lyra, Bonbon, Octavia, Vinyl scratch, and Knightmare himself, all getting into their uniforms and ready to hop onto the stage.
“Everyone remember the plan so far?” Knightmare asked, receiving nods from everyone in his band, “Good. Tundra, all you need to do is sing like you can, feel free to dance around if you’d like because that’s what I’m gonna be doing too. Just try not to get hurt, okay? Unless you know the timing, stay at least two feet from the edge of the stage. That’s my turf.”
“Understood,” she gives a nod of comprehension.It’s like a whole different battlefield, comments Shirayuki to Tundra in thought speech.I know, right? Tundra mentally responds, This is going to be fun.
“Alrighty.” Knightmare said, “Everyone get into positions, Tundra, you just wait on stage left and I’ll call you. Remember, let us handle the crazy stuff until you’re comfortable, don’t try to rush in if you’re not sure. Now then, everyone to your places, let’s ROLL!” with that, he dashed off, taking his staff, Twinkle, instead of grabbing his guitar which was nowhere to be seen.
“See you on the stage, hon!” Chrysalis shouted, dashing past in her uniform, followed by the CMC, Cadance, Shining Armor, Lyra, bonbon, Octavia, and Vinyl[both of whom looked different than normal], all of which gave a friendly nod to Tundra. As Nyx walked past, however, she gave Tundra a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Consider that your first big welcome to the Champions, Miss Stanza.” the regal demoness said, calmly walking out to join her companions.
Miss Stanza stood there dumbly for a split-second.Did... she just...? But, there wasn’t much time for her to finish that train of thought. So she hurried off to stage left. Excitement quickly replaced her confusion.
The crowd outside was screaming and chanting at the top of their lungs, many crying the word ‘CHAMPIONS!’ as loudly as possible, others crying out for members of the band. While not the best view, Tundra could easily see the entrance Knightmare and his band planned out, a hint at the level of preparation they do ahead of time for everything.
High in the sky, a burst of light became visible. It streaked across the sky, screaming like a demon possessed, before coming in closer, the spray making it look as if it were a giant flaming butterfly. The...thing came down closer and finally slowed down, a tall, slender machine scraping its feet across the stage , barreling down before spinning suddenly, wreathing itself in blue flames from the rockets on its body, sending itself into a topspin and shifting the blue flames bright green, burning away the altered form to reveal Knightmare, holding the edge of his top hat and carrying his staff under his arm.
“GOOD EVENING NEW CANTERLOT!” He shouted into the head of the staff, his voice booming out across the entire city, gathering everyone’s attention. “WE HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU TONIGHT! ONE WEEK AGO THE DEATH BATTLE: EQUESTRIA TOURNAMENT BEGAN! AT THAT TOURNAMENT MY FIRST OPPONENT WAS A MARE OF UNPARALLELLED BEAUTY! SHE WAS NOTED TO BE A GREAT SINGER. AND TONIGHT IT HAS BEEN DECIDED! SHE WILL TEST HER SKILLS HERE ON THIS STAGE, STANDING SIDE BY SIDE WITH US, THE CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!” Knightmare waited patiently for the crowds cheering to die down before continuing. “TONIGHT, I WISH YOU TO WELCOME WHAT I HOPE MAY BE THE NEWEST ADDITION TO OUR RANKS. PLEASE WELCOME THE ANGEL OF MUSIC, TUNDRA STANZA!”
Figuring that was her cue, Tundra galloped onto the stage.
“I ain't afraid of no ghost! ” shouted scootaloo, the young pegasus dropping from the rafters, followed by Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, all three having, somehow, changed costumes in under a minute, now dressed as the ever famous Ghostbusters! And right on cue, the rest of the band began dropping in, playing the classic theme that even the residents of Equestria almost knew by heart.
But then ever famous tune suddenly halted, like a bad record scratch. “Well, you should be. Because there’s one that’s about to come here tonight. And I have to say... she sings one hell of an opera.”
“Well let’s hold ourselves a seance, ladies and gents!” With that, Knightmare brought his staff crashing down, knocking all of the lights on the stage pitch black, and causing the crowd to cheer, knowing they were in for one HELL of a show!
Song 1: 'Phantom of the Opera'
A single stage light came up, revealing Tundra standing in the center, Twinkle floating serenely before her, and dressed in a beautiful black silk dress. And then, the music began.
In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came
There’s a brief surge as Shirayuki takes dominance and a helmet shows up on Tundra’s head before it immediately removes itself again.
Sing once again with me, our strange duet
Knightmare stands high and behind Tundra, his twin blades, Sol Invicta and Lune Pertinax flashing to live, sending sprays of glowing fire and ice across the stage. He dances forward, touching Tundra’s cheek gently, the blades refusing to harm her, dancing dangerously close to the fire cannons at the front of the stage, dodging them as they pulse in time with the drums.
Those who have seen your face draw back in fear
To the lyrics, Tundra waves a hoof in front of her face, as if putting on and taking off a mask that isn’t there.
Knightmare pulls himself in close, as if to whisper into Tundra’s ear.
Tundra perks up her eyes, making it look like she just heard some juicy gossip. Then, she stares straight ahead in a trancelike state. Never once does she stop singing.
He's there, the phantom of the opera
Chrysalis, Cadance, and the CMC take up the ominous chanting in the background, holding their hooves out as if to warn Tundra of the danger.
Where all your fantasies, you always knew
Knightmare dances forward, strutting handsomely.
As he passes, Tundra takes on the trance-like appearance again, following Knightmare’s motion.
As he comes close, the two begin to dance together for a brief moment before Knightmare flutters away. However a mis-timed fire cannon strikes him in the face, burning away his plaster mask and knocking him back.
Sing, my angel of music!
Even in pain, Knightmare doesn’t miss a beat, and it’d take a keen eye to see that he’d actually been injured by the blast, his shouting of the lyrics as much in pain as in need for the song. He flutters back into the shadows to tend to his wound, leaving Tundra alone on the stage.
Song 2: Wishmaster
Master!
Elbereth
For some reason, Tundra summons her katana ‘Sode no Shirayuki out as she sings her first line. She starts forming a ring of ice around herself before dispersing it.
A dreamy-eyed child staring into night
Slowly, she starts flapping her wings and spinning around in a deliberate circle. It’s as if the words are creating the very wind that she rides.
Master!
While the backup singers take over, she swings her blade to the rhythm as if directing.
Silvara
Again she rises to the air, and charges circles of ice to symbolize the ‘sorcery within’.
Sla-Mori the one known only by Him
She vigorously shakes her head ‘on Earth no more’.
Master!
Using charges of magic, Tundra makes waves of snow fill the air at each of the choir’s exclamations.
Wishmaster
Shirayuki is moved by the song and takes dominance for the last lines joined with the chorus.
Master!
The crowd is left in awe, the deafening silence collapsing under the weight of the crowds cheering, screaming for more, rapidly falling in love with Tundra’s beautiful voice and artistic talent.
Song 3: I wish I had an Angel
Knightmare returns onto the stage, passing by Nyx, whom is apparently playing Knightmare’s guitar. Before the song begins, Chrysalis and Cadance cast healing spells on Knightmare and Tundra, healing Knightmare’s wound and helping both to relax.
I wish I had an angel
Knightmare begins headbanging, before pointing to Tundra for her cue.
Deep into a dying day
Tundra starts out with a hoof held to her head as if fainting, but it’s just a facade as she takes a step forward. She points to the audience as if worried that a special somepony will really get hurt.
Old loves they die hard
She bows her head to represent the pain she experiences when at the death of another.
I wish I had an angel
Knightmare comes close, just shy of arms reach of Tundra, reaching out to her, illusionary chains holding him back, pain and loneliness clear on his face, looking shockingly genuine even up close.
I'm in love with my lust
In a surprise move, Tundra freezes her own wings in a thin layer of ice. The crystals shatter as she flaps them once, though her wings are still intact. She then looks in Knightmare’s direction a bit longingly.
I'm going down so frail and cruel
Facing the audience again, Tundra closes her eyes solemnly. She then looks up a bit with desperation in her eyes because the ‘game’ changed before she could play.
Old loves they die hard
She bows her head to represent the pain of losing a loved one again.
I wish I had an angel
Knightmare pushes against the chains more, pulling himself ever so slightly closer, tears beginning to pour from his eyes.
I'm in love with my lust
Taking the position as if too pained to look again, tears start falling out of Tundra’s eyes. Hers shatter like ice on contact with the stage floor.
Greatest thrill
Knightmare strains against the chains, shifting to his ‘Julia’ battle form, the nine foot tall felinoid’s strength more than a match for the illusionary chains, s/he breaks them down, causing the Jester Shot hidden within each link to detonate in a spray of bright multicolored sparks as Knightmare shifts back to his true form.
Last dance, first kiss
Knightmare playfully tickles Tundra, getting the ominous laugh out right on cue.
I wish I had an angel
Knightmare finally reaches Tundra, wrapping her in a gentle hug, nuzzling close against her.
I'm in love with my lust
The song finally draws to a close, the lights dimming to black for the next song.
Song 4: Nemo
Knightmare steps back, letting Tundra take the stage. As Shining Armor forms a xylophone from his shields, Knightmare grabs Nyx’s horn and pulls down, shifting the Nightmare into his guitar and belts out an epic riff, signalling Tundra to begin.
This is me for forever
The black-coated beauty lets her head gently bob up and down, as if adrift in the ocean. She stops with a look of confusion and searches too and fro, attempting to find her way in the endless blue glow of the stage lights.
This is me for forever
The mare touches her chest and holds her head down, shaking slightly as if caught in a fit of tears. She drops her hoof to the stage floor and scrapes it across, sending sparks flying and a red glow tracing its path.
Oh, how I wish for soothing rain
Tundra raises onto her hind hooves, spreading her wings for balance. She touches her left hoof to her chest, just above her heart, and raises her right hoof skyward as if in prayer.
My flower will withered between
She pulls her raised hoof back, revealing a beautiful rose made of crystalline ice, a rainbow shimmer coming off of it in the dull blue glow of the stage. With a blink, the flower shatters to dust and falls to the ground, evaporating before her eyes.
Walk the dark path, sleep with angels
Tundra slowly walks along the stage, head held low in sadness. She stops and places a hoof over her heart, looking out to the audience with unshed tears in her eyes.
Oh, how I wish for soothing rain
She opens her eyes again practically sparkling with a longing in the direction of the sky. She pumps her hooves in place to express the frustration at what she no longer has.
Oh, how I wish for soothing rain
The lights become a bit gentler to highlight that she’s involuntarily sunk to the floor as the guitar takes up the dramatic solo.
Nemo sailing home
The alicorn slowly rises back up to a full stand. While hope is diminished, she has yet to give up.
Oh, how I wish for soothing rain
She’s practically shouting her lines now. Some chilling air moves as if attacking the darkness around her.
Oh, how I wish for soothing rain
As the music dies away, Knightmare releases Nyx and returns to the stage, bowing to Tundra.
“Miss Stanza, my dear, I wish to ask a favor of you, one I think our audience may enjoy.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, the next song we planned is an old favorite of my people. The theme of the Changeling Armada. Miss Stanza, on behalf of the Changeling royal family, will you please join us in singing Planet Hell?” At the name of the song, the crowd roars, cheering gleefully and pumping their hooves/fists/claws into the air.
“Well, I’m not going to say no to that,” she smiles, “Let’s do it.”
Song 5: Planet Hell
Knightmare cheers as the song begins, pointing to Nyx, who opens up with the intense riff.
Denying the lying
Knightmare begins banging his head, buzzing around the stage and tapping fire cannons with Twinkle, firing off multi-colored flames that explode into fireworks displays overhead.
A dead world, a dark path
Holding her mystical katana with the shimmering blade pointed earthward, Tundra sings with raw power and emotion, wielding the blade like a microphone.
My only wish to leave behind
She then moves her sword away, holding it in the fashion that a ruler declares a statement to her kingdom.
The first rock thrown again
Knightmare pulls out a copper firearm and begins shooting skyward, the bullets streaming out as bright lights and exploding after twenty feet. He then places his face dangerously close to a fire cannon, his visage wreathed by black flames before buzzing backwards, backflipping, landing on tundra’s rump for a SPLIT SECOND, then hopping back off, buzzing away and trailing sparks in his path.
My first cry never ending
The Angel of Music shakes her head in seriousness. She then stares unflinchingly at the field where fires had been only seconds before.
Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
The curtains drop, revealing many famous, and infamous, soldiers of the Changeling armada, joining in the song with immense glee.
Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
Knightmare hops beside Tundra as the pair continue singing, explosions and flames rising from every corner of the stage, making it clear WHY they have to prepare so much ahead of time, and why choreography is JUST as important as musical skill! One false step could easily lead to an extended infirmary stay, or worse!
Welcome down to my planet Hell
Knightmare stomps down into the center of the stage, revealing several green and purple fire cannons hidden just below. the weapons belch their terrifying munitions skyward, making it seem as if Knightmare had been engulfed in raw hellfire as he screams skyward in defiant madness.
Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
Tundra and the changeling veterans join in the dance of destruction, gleefully hopping in tune with one another to dodge the potentially deadly projectiles without even the tiniest hint of fear on their faces.
Save yourself a penny for the ferryman
As the song draws to a close, everyone in the band hops down, joining the deadly dance with glee, much to the delight and cheers of the audience. All leading up to a truly GRAND finale!
Final Song: Ghost Love score
With the entire band down on the floor, the background curtains drop, and their platforms collapse to the ground, revealing Octavia and her old band, the Royal Canterlot Symphony ready and waiting for this big moment.
“Ladies and gents,” Knightmare shouts “An epic day deserves an epic end! It’s time for a GHOST LOVE SCORE!”
We used to swim the same moonlight waters
In sweet serenity, Tundra motions with her hooves and wings as if swimming through an invisible body of salt water.
My fall will be for you
(My fall... will be...)
My fall will be for you
(...for... you...)
Scent of the sea, before the waking of the world
Slowly, the black alicorn motions with a hoof as if welcoming a pleasant scent.
My fall will be for you
(My love...will be...)
My fall will be for you
The siren from the deep came to me
The child will be born again
Bring me home or leave me be
Bring me home or leave me be
Take me,
Take me,
Redeem me into childhood
My fall will be for you
With another beautifully done concert, the last song needing only the music itself to woo the crowd, it was time to close up and head home. But with the D-Gate unable to work for 24 hours, where, exactly, was Tundra supposed to stay? Well, it seems Knightmare has an idea.
Bonus Song: Dark Chest of Wonders
“C’mon, Tundra, you can stay with us tonight!” Knightmare said, a smile on his face.
“B-but I have to get home!” she stammered, slightly worried about the damage that David would cause while she was outside of her universe.
“C’mon, the D-gate won’t be ready to send you back ‘till morning anyway, and I DOUBT that anything will happen in that short of time before then.” Knightmare hopped onto Nyx’s back, the ancient alicorn warrior handling her rider’s light weight with ease. “Plus, I think you’ll liiiike iiiit!”
“And even if something DOES happen,” Nyx said with a grin, “We’ll gladly join you to handle it. We MAY be musicians by day, but don’t underestimate our skills in the art of war.”
“Very well,” sighed Tundra, realizing that there wasn’t much she could do about it now. A stray thought told her that Shirayuki agreed that worrying now wasn’t going to help.
“Well follow us and, whatever you do, show no fear!” Knightmare shouts, hopping onto Nyx’s back, the daemonic alicorn taking flight with a smile. “Also, don’t slow down. Hit it, Chrissie!”
Once I had a dream
As Chrysalis began the song, everypony that could fly did so, always with a passenger of one who couldn’t. They all took skyward and made a beeline for the new Canterlot Castle.
Once there was a child's dream
The band flew high and fast, soaring through the massive city’s skies, passing by airships and fliers passing by, all of them chanting Tundra’s name, even those aboard the Possibility cheered for the young alicorn.
Once there was a child's heart
Soaring through the air they came upon the massive new castle of New Canterlot, Alexander. The ancient winged machine sat serenely as beings of many species went about their business, each one that caught sight of the approaching band giving a calm wave or a raucous cheer in greeting.
Once I knew all the tales
They flew past the massive castle and towards the even MORE immense tree behind it, the Tower of Babel library, home of Twilight Sparkle. Flying down between the interweaving supertrees, the band took a turn directly upwards, into the higher boughs of the tree-brary, high above a massive fountain at the base.
Once I wished for this night
Almost immediately, Nyx cut her speed, followed by the rest of the band one by one, all of them dropping, to Tundra’s shock, directly into the center of the fountain. Aiming with expert precision, they all pass directly into the center of the fountain.
“Wait, what the heck are you guys doing?!” Tundra called although they did not answer.
And fly to a dream far across the sea
They all fly straight down, pushing the water out of their way, and come rocketing out deep underground, revealing the mysterious ‘Secret Base of the ChessPieces’ hidden below New Canterlot.
The one in the big blue is what
The sight is beyond imagining. A MASSIVE underground CITY, hanging from the stalactites above. Multiple ravines, each one over a mile wide, interconnecting right under New Canterlot, with a massive upturned castle serving as the main structural support for the massive megacity above their heads.
Woah, thought Shirayuki as she observed through Tundra’s eyes.
Fly to a dream far across the sea
Deep below is a sprawling mass of blue light, not something artificial, but a magically charged UNDERGROUND JUNGLE, with trees reaching as tall as a mighty redwood and vines growing in every direction, interweaving with ancient stone and modern homes.
My gosh, thought Tundra amazed.
Fly to a dream far across the sea
Finally, they come to a slowing stop at a particular stalactite hanging high over the jungle, with a beautiful view of the hidden city. Landing softly on a runway, Knightmare dismounts Nyx, only to be tackled by a half-alicorn changeling and a white dragoness, both very young even to this day.
“Hey, girls! guess what, we’ve got a new friend!” He stands and motions to Tundra, “Meet Tundra Stanza. Tundra, I’d like you to meet my daughters. Solara, and Crystal.” he motions to the drakeling and the changeling-alicorn. “They’re the only ones who stay here in the guest residences, since they wanted their space, but there’s enough room here for fifteen people, so plenty of room for you to relax in private.” He bows gracefully and goes back to hugging his daughters and playing with them, a smile on his face.
“Thank you,” she says simply in awe at everything that had just transpired.
“Lemme guess, it was the glowing jungle underground, wasn't it? It’s ALWAYS the jungle.”
“Huh?” Tundra was still lost trying to comprehend. The meaning of the statement was lost on her at that moment, “Oh, yes. The jungle... yeah.”
Knightmare waved his hands in front of Tundra’s face. “You look like you need sleep....”
“I’ll help her!” Chrysalis shouted.
“Oh HELL no!” Nyx countered, “You saw how nervous she got when Knightmare hugged her! You’d probably traumatize the poor thing!”
“I’LL take her to a room...” Cadance shouted, snatching Tundra’s attention away from the view.
“Sleep sounds wonderful,” the tired angel muttered, still not completely there.
“Ok, hon. Just follow me.” Cadance spoke softly, using a wing to keep Tundra moving. As they entered the apartments carved from solid rock, Knightmare and his band looked over one another.
“Well....that went better than expected.” Knightmare said, before going back to playing with his daughters.