Chapter 7: The Pony Who Wasn’t A Pony

Dye woke up around six-thirty in the morning and made French toast for his breakfast.

He quickly ate the food, washed it down with the last of the single gallon of milk he’d bought, and renewed the stay-fresh spell again.

Next, Dye put on his saddlebags, stuffed his art supplies into them, and packed up his tank. After that, he picked up the bag of two paintings with his magic and left his house with the paintings in tow.

He checked his watch, which read as three past seven. Most of the other ponies were probably just getting up at this point, but Dye wanted to get some early morning painting in before he started trying to sell his work.

Dye landed on a cloud, set up his art supplies and got to work.

The first painting of the day ended up being a picture of the odd stallion from the day before, with seven human males flanking him on either side (oddly enough, one of them appeared on both sides, so there were technically thirteen humans instead of fourteen).

He stared at his work after finishing it and shook his head. What he saw in his mind’s eye didn’t always make sense. When he saw a pony and painted them (usually with permission), he’d sometimes manage to paint something bizarre that made no sense to him but somehow always seemed to strike a chord with the subject being painted. A lot of the time, the pony in question would actually offer to pay more than Dye’s standard price of six bits, and since Dye needed all the money he could get, he’d always accept the generous offer.

Dye rolled up the painting, bound it, and added it to the bag before starting another painting.

This one was more normal than the painting of the odd stallion. Once again, it was of something he’d never seen firsthoof, but it was something that he’d heard enough about to accurately paint without appearing to have some kind of wacky sixth sense. The painting was of a sonic rainboom. Though he’d never actually seen one happen, he’d heard enough about the incredible feat to paint one without stretching his mind too much.

His watch now said it was nine-twelve, so Dye rolled up and bound the new painting, put his supplies back in his saddlebags, and made a quick stop by a store to buy a three-legged stool for ten bits and a package of painting frames for five bits (leaving him with twenty-one) before setting his art equipment up in the park and displaying the example painting (the aerial view of Ponyville) next to himself.

He levitated his old sign that he used in the parks in Canterlot out of the painting bag and stood it on the ground. It read “Quality Paintings and Portraits: 6 Bits”. For the first half hour, everypony who saw the sign just kept walking, but Dye was used to this. He’d gone many times without making a single sale in Canterlot, and Canterlot was full of high-society types. Ponyville was a village full of more common and down-to-earth ponies, so Dye knew selling art here was going to be harder than Canterlot.

Around nine forty-five, Lyra Heartstrings walked by with a lyre case floating next to her.

She stopped when she saw the Thestricorn painter.

“Oh! Hi Dye!” she said. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you since… You know.”

Dye nodded.

“I finished my house yesterday,” Dye told her. “I painted something last night that I think you might be interested in.”

Dye levitated a painting out of the bag, unrolled it, and showed it to Lyra. It was the painting of a human family.

Lyra’s eyes grew huge at the detailed painting of humans.

“Dye, how did you…” she trailed off, too shocked to finish the sentence.

“Let’s just say I have a strange knack for painting things I shouldn’t be able to,” Dye said, shrugging. “You want it? Like the sign says, it’s six bits.”

“Only six?” Lyra said. “This is worth at least fifteen!”

“I’m open to offers,” Dye replied. “Six is just my basic asking price. If you feel it’s worth more, you’re welcome to pay more. If you want it, but feel that six is too much, I accept haggling, too.”

“Well, I’m paying fifteen,” Lyra said as she levitated a ten bit coin and a five bit coin out of her saddlebag and over to Dye. “You’re short-changing yourself with such a low price.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know,” Dye said as he put the coins in his coin pouch. “Some other ponies would see this as complete garbage, I’m sure.”

Using his magic, Dye framed the painting and gave it to Lyra, who happily took it in her magic.

“Have a nice day, Lyra!” Dye said as she turned to leave.

“Thanks!” she replied. “You, too, Dye!”

With that, Lyra left, and Dye was by himself again.

A headache struck at about ten-ten, so Dye added “Saturday, 10:10 AM” to his journal as he took care of it.

After the headache was taken care of, he saw Derpy with the odd stallion from the day before.

Dye waved to the mailmare, getting her attention. After she waved back, she tapped the odd stallion on the shoulder, who watched her point in Dye’s direction.

The stallion turned his head, noticed Dye as well, and said something to Derpy, who nodded and said something back. Dye watched as the pair trotted up to him.

“Hello, Derpy,” Dye said after the pair was close enough for him to speak with a normal voice. “Who’s your friend?”

“Didn’t I tell you about the Doctor?” Derpy asked.

“You did,” Dye replied. He turned to the stallion and said, “So, are you the ‘Doctor’ she mentioned before?”

“That I am,” the stallion replied. “The Doctor, at your service.” The stallion extended a hoof, and Dye shook it with his own.

“Well, then,” Dye said as he levitated the painting of the Doctor out of the bag. “I got to painting earlier this morning, and you won’t believe what it turned out to be. I still can’t explain how something so bizarre popped into my head.”

He unrolled the painting and showed it to the Doctor, who stared at it in complete shock.

“Doctor?” Derpy said, looking just as surprised as he was.

“How could you have possibly known about that?” the Doctor asked quietly.

“Known about what?” Dye asked back, puzzled.

“You mean, you painted this, but you didn’t have any knowledge of what you were painting?” the Doctor asked.

“Pretty much,” Dye shrugged. “It happens every once in a while. I try painting somepony, and the picture turns out bizarre, but the pony I painted seems to somehow recognize what I painted, even though it looks like something I couldn’t possibly know about their past, or something simply impossible.”

“I’d love to explain your art to you, Mr. Vein, but I can’t do that here,” the Doctor said. “If you come back to the post office with us, I can give you an explanation of who those men were and how they’re connected to me.”

“Nopony’s actually offered to explain one of them to me before,” Dye said. “They’d usually just look at me weird before offering to pay me at least double my asking price.”

“Well, I guess this is your lucky day, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor said, “Because I’m offering that right now. Oh, and I’ll pay you fifty bits for the painting, if that’s fine with you.”

Dye stared at the Doctor in absolute disbelief.

“F-fifty?” Dye stammered. “Nopony’s ever offered me that much!”

“Well, it seems you’ll be having quite a few firsts today, then,” the Doctor replied as he offered Dye a fifty bit coin.

Dye simply nodded and took the coin.

He stared at it for a few seconds before putting it in his coin pouch and framing the painting, which he then levitated over to the Doctor. Derpy used a piece of string to help the Earth Pony to tie the work of art to his back, and the pair turned to face Dye again.

“Well, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor said, “Are you coming or not?”

“Sure,” Dye said before packing up his equipment, including the sign.

The three ponies departed the park after that, and Dye followed Derpy and the Doctor to the post office, where Derpy lived.

As soon as they entered, a purple unicorn filly ran up to Derpy and hugged her.

“Mommy!” the filly said, nuzzling Derpy. “You’re back early!”

“Hello, Muffin!” Derpy said, nuzzling the filly back. “The Doctor and I met somepony who the Doctor needs to talk to.”

The purple filly noticed Dye at that point.

“You’re the new guy in town, right?” she asked.

Dye nodded.

“Oh, Dinky, this is Dye Vein,” Derpy said, motioning to the Thestricorn. “Dye, this is my daughter, Dinky.”

“Wait, you’re married to the Doctor?” Dye asked.

Derpy and the Doctor started laughing.

“Oh, nopony’s asked me that in a long time,” Derpy giggled. “He just lives here. He lives in the attic.”

“But, you have a daughter, and you live with him,” Dye said, confused. “How could you have a daughter, if you’re not married?” His eyes widened in shock as a thought occurred to him. “Wait, you didn’t—“

Derpy’s face went bright red, as did the Doctor’s.

“Oh! No, Dye, I wouldn’t do something like that!” Derpy said. The Doctor nodded in agreement.

“Then… How?” Dye asked.

“Oh, I’m a widow,” Derpy said sadly. “Dinky’s father died three years ago. She barely remembers him at all.”

“Oh,” Dye looked at the ground. “Sorry to bring that up, Derpy.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Derpy assured him as she started smiling again. “Geeky wouldn’t want me to be sad. He’d want me to move on and take care of Dinky, and I am. I still miss him, though.”

“I take it Geeky was your husband?” Dye asked.

“The greatest stallion I’ve ever met,” Derpy replied, nodding.

“Hey!” the Doctor said. “What about me?”

“I don’t know Doctor,” Derpy said with a cheeky grin. “What about you?”

Dye’s grandfather would’ve said the Doctor looked like “a deer caught in the headlights”, Dye wasn’t sure what that meant, but it was the only thing that came to mind.

Dye snickered.

After a few seconds, the Doctor started to laugh as well.

“You’ve got me there, Mrs. Hooves,” the Doctor chuckled.

“Well, Doctor,” Derpy said, changing the subject, “Do you think we should show him?”

“Show me what?” Dye asked in confusion. “I thought you were going to explain my wacky painting to me!”

“Yes, but to do that without driving you bonkers, I’ll have to show you something,” the Doctor replied. He motioned for Dye to follow him up a set of stairs. “Come along, Mr. Vein!”

Dye shrugged and flew after the Doctor, with Derpy and Dinky following behind.

On the second floor, there was a ladder leading to a trapdoor. The Doctor climbed the ladder, threw the trapdoor open, and climbed into the room above.

Dye simply flew up into the room. He looked around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary at first, but then…

“What in Celestia’s name is that?” Dye shouted as he pointed a hoof at a tall blue box on the other end of the room.

“Oh, that?” the Doctor said casually, as if nothing were out of the ordinary. “This is my TARDIS, Mr. Vein. It’s a time machine.”

“Oh,” Dye said. Suddenly, what the Doctor just said struck home. “Wait, no. What is it really?”

“Do you really want me to explain every single little detail?” the Doctor asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’d take days, Mr. Vein. Do you really have that kind of time?”

“I guess not,” Dye replied. “But there’s no way it can be a time machine! Time travel is barely possible at all with magic, and even then, the caster gets sent back to the point in time they started from after spending only thirty seconds in the target time period! Time travel is impractical at best, so why would anypony waste resources on a machine for something so temporary?”

“You are mistaken, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor said, speaking as if he were talking to a young colt instead of a fully-grown stallion. “The TARDIS doesn’t use magic to travel through time and space. It uses technology that even humans are far from capable of right now.”

“Wait, humans?” Dye asked in shock. “I thought nopony knew…” He coughed to try to cover up what he almost revealed, but the Doctor wasn’t fooled.

“Knew what, Mr. Vein?” the Doctor asked.

“Uh…” Dye looked around nervously. He hadn’t noticed Derpy and Dinky entering the room, but they stood between him and the ladder back down. There was no way he could escape. He’d have to come clean. “I thought nopony knew that humans exist besides my family and the few ponies we’ve told.”

“And how did your family come to know about humans?” the Doctor asked.

“We…” Dye took a deep breath. “My grandfather is a former human.”

Derpy stared at Dye, Dinky looked incredibly confused, but the Doctor just said, “Ah, that makes sense.”

“Wait, it does?” Dye said. “How could that make sense?”

“For starters, you suffer from a strictly human condition,” the Doctor replied. “Your headaches are something that is completely unique to humans, and yet, you still have them. Having the blood of a transformed human in your veins would make it possible for you to have the condition as well.”

“Okay then,” Dye said. “How do you know about humans?”

“Well, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor said, clearing his throat before continuing, “like your grandfather, I’m not actually a pony, either.”

“You used to be human, too?” Dye asked in surprise.

“Well, yes,” the Doctor replied. “But not for very long. I wasn’t originally human, either.”

“Then what were you?” Dye asked.

“For that, I’ll have to show you the inside of the TARDIS,” the Doctor told him. “It’ll make explaining much easier.”

“But the thing looks like it’ll be really crowded in there!” Dye protested. “That box looks like it was intended for humans, not ponies!”

“You’d be surprised, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor replied. “Just wait a second while I open her up.”

“Her?” Dye asked.

The Doctor didn’t reply. Instead, he produced a key and unlocked the box with it.

“You first, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor said as he motioned for Dye to enter the box.

Dye did so, and he couldn’t believe what he saw on the inside.

“It’s…”

“Go on, say it!” Derpy said, giggling. “He loves it when ponies say it!”

“The interior doesn’t match the external dimensions!” Dye whispered. “That’s impossible!”

The Doctor looked disappointed as he entered.

“That wasn’t the phrase I was looking for,” the Doctor said. “But it’ll do, I suppose. For future reference, you’re supposed to say ‘it’s bigger on the inside’.”

Dye nodded, but he wasn’t really listening.

“How is this even possible?” he asked.

“My people made stuff like this all the time,” the Doctor said. “Now that you’ve seen what we can do, I can tell you what I am without you doubting me.”

“And what are you?” Dye asked.

“I am a Time Lord,” the Doctor said. “I come from the planet Gallifrey.”

“’Time Lord’?” Dye repeated. “Sounds pretty boastful to me.”

“The name is boastful, but saying I’m one of them isn’t,” the Doctor replied. “In my universe, they’re pretty much the scum of the universe. Ten million years of absolute power tends to do that to a civilization.”

Dye blinked.

“Wait, your universe? There’s more than one?”

“Billions upon billions, actually,” the Doctor said. “Billions per multiverse, and all the multiverses put together forms the omniverse: an endless expanse of existence without limit.”

Dye’s head was spinning at the revelation.

“My existence suddenly seems so insignificant,” Dye whispered. “I’m just one living thing out of a number that’s too high to count! How could anything alive really be important with so many?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” the Doctor chuckled. “Out of all the people and ponies I’ve met, every single one is someone important. Why, in the future, you—”

Derpy cleared her throat and glared at the Doctor.

“Sorry, Mrs. Hooves,” he said sheepishly. “Spoilers. Right.”

“And to think, you used to be the one shushing me about the futures of other ponies!” Derpy huffed.

“So, it really is a time machine,” Dye whispered.

“There you go, Mr. Vein!” the Doctor said, giving Dye a hearty thump on the back. “Now you understand! Except, it travels through time and space, not just time.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Dye said, shaking his head. “How are you connected to all those human men in my painting?”

“Ah,” the Doctor took on a much more serious expression at this point. “All those men are past versions of me, Mr. Vein.”

“But, how?” Dye was getting more confused by the second.

“Time Lords regenerate, Mr. Vein,” the Doctor replied. “I am no exception. When I’m about to die, I get a new face, a new voice, a new everything! Strictly speaking, I should’ve only been able to do that twelve times, but I was gifted with a complete reset of my regeneration count, so I’ve got a lot of lives left.”

“But if you were once humanoid, how did you become a pony?” Dye asked.

“Simple,” the Doctor said. “I started dying here in Equestria, so I regenerated into a form befitting of the dominant sapient race: ponies.”

“This is way too much for me to digest,” Dye said, holding a hoof to his head. “I think I’m going to go home.”

“Well, be safe, then, Mr. Vein!” the Doctor said as Dye left the time machine and descended the ladder.

Dye didn’t reply. He just went down the stairs and left Derpy’s house before spreading his wings and taking to the air.

His mind was still reeling when he got home, so he got into bed to rest, even though his watch said it was only eleven-thirty in the morning.

Right before he fell asleep for the nap, a thought occurred to him: if the Doctor could travel time and space, could he take Dye to the human world?

Dye fell asleep right after that thought finished crossing his mind, leaving the thought for another time.