Never Said

by RazgrizS57

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Second Person, Tragedy
Length: 2514

A story about breaking free and being who you want to be.

Your mind has tricked you. You've allowed yourself to become a shadow of who you really are. In this monotonous world that's been shaped around you, the only thing you know for certain is nothing. You are failure incarnate, but there is hope. Listen to your heart, listen to my words, and I can help you learn the truths you've so blissfully ignored.

Published 2014-02-12 16:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 16:00:05 UTC

Chapter I

The only thing you know for certain is nothing.

You brush this off indignantly, turning your eyes away as if to protect them from the inescapable. Or perhaps you choose to ignore this fact like every other one so blatantly presented to you, locking any ounce of recognition away within the deepest crevices of you mind behind lock and key, never to see the light of day again. But I say you’re getting tired of this. I can see it behind your eyes which try their best to run away. You might have thick skin and a thicker skull, but the tedium gnaws at you like a wolf with one of its leg caught beneath a boulder. Eventually your mind will chew itself free, and then what will you do? What will you become? However can you say you’re prepared for everything this world has to offer if it’s only nothingness you’ve allowed yourself to see?

Maybe one day, something will happen. The routine and the monotony and the truth will overwhelm you, and while you may not crack, it only takes one droplet for a dam to be overflowing. You’ll turn your head a degree less, huff with a little more breath, and in due time, you’ll finally acknowledge that which you’ve been ignorant to all this time.

You know nothing, and that’s all you’ve ever known.

You are not a savior of this world nor can you ever be its martyr. You are not a voice that leads just like you aren’t a body to drag behind. And yet your mere existence is a fluke, unnecessary, something that gets overshadowed by the brilliant light you’re so blissfully detached from. The only one who needs you is yourself, and even then we both know how much you doubt that concept. Of need, of attachment. There is nothing here for you to grasp, only for you to attach yourself to and suckle the life from which you could never test yourself. Because you are you, and what you are is something to be left in the shadows of your accomplishments. Something to be forgotten with time, to be unloved not from spite, but from indifference. No matter how much evidence you provide to the contrary, you know nothing about this world you live in, and it doesn’t exactly know a lot about you either. What does that make you, I wonder? Is a life of unknowing worth living?

She paused, stolid in appearance. She slowly raised her head and gazed out a distant window.

You can hear, you may even see, but will you comprehend the messages? Will you open up your eyes and for once in your forsaken life, follow your heart? I do not wish to crush you beneath a truth so onerous, nonetheless one must be weakened to find what makes them strongest. I believe you can handle it, but first you must understand. You must feel. You must release the emotions you’ve withheld for far too long and lose your mind to the cadence. Like I’ve said before, you know nothing. But I can help you learn.

You are but a speck amongst the ashes of what your world really is. Your power may be great, but in the end it loses all its meaning once compared to any other. You are a scared little foal left behind in a strange, mystical wood, where every sight and sound is a monster trying to get you. And for better and for worse, no one’s here for you. No one cares if these monsters tear you apart. You are completely and utterly alone in every sense possible. So why, then, must you continue to stand within this bubble? Everything out here is potential, something to be explored and become known, and yet you stand here cherry-picking lies and thrust yourself upon social ineptitude. Everything you’ve known is a lie. Nothing. You have no will over yourself. Your life is a construct you’ve allowed to be built for you, and now you’re too scared to tear it down or even let it fall.

And yet, through the darkness of this abysmal, empty loneliness you find yourself in, there is hope. Hope is all there is here. Do you know what it is you hope for? Or do you simply hope for the feeling it gives, not because there’s nothing here to give it you? Well, allow me to say that there is hope, outside, in the dark and dangerous wood you live in. All you have to do is leave this clearing, one step at a time, and allow me to lead you home. Some place where you can say for certain you belong.

Quietly, and with notable hesitance, she took a step forward.

The first steps are always the hardest, like a train battling its way uphill. But once you reach that zenith, the point where there’s nothing left in your way to climb, everything presents itself on a silver platter. From atop this crest, you can see everything. You can reach out and touch the mysterious, all that which you’ve been unaware of all this time. Let your magic run free. Put your mind on a leash and for once follow your heart. There’s an infinite amount of choices here, many of them can be hit right after the other. You can even repeat some of them if you so choose. The possibilities are endless! But first, you have to climb that hill.

Her timid walk slowly became a steady trot. Her heart beat just a second faster and when she got to the doors she nudged them open, and a grand, winding stairwell presented itself. She glanced up, seeing the shadows of the thin chamber looming overhead. Blind, she began to ascend.

That’s it. Now we’re getting somewhere. You’ve opened your eyes and let your heart lead your hooves. You might not understand what you’re seeing, but you can feel its importance, can’t you? You still know nothing, but once you’ve allowed your heart to take command, that is when you’ll learn. That is when I’ll teach. And then we’ll see where you go from there.

Put one hoof down then pick up the other. We’re getting there. You’ll know where when you see it. Keep following your heart.

At last she reached the top step and burst through the door that presented itself. The small domed room was in disarray from the scholars that occupied it, with maps and charts scattered about and papers littering the floor. They all gave her startled looks and whatever noise they were making silenced. A telescope sat squarely in the room’s center, aimed upwards, vigilant. Her horn flared, and the observatory’s opened shutters collapsed entirely, allowing her a clear view of the world beyond.

What is it you see from atop this hill? I see a pony who has lived under a rock for far too long and is only now just waking up. The horizons stretch on immeasurably, the world itself is a breathtaking sight that could never be fully comprehended, and there are so many other ponies out there, all knowing something you don’t. Everything out here is unknown to you just like you don’t know yourself. It’s a mystery waiting to be explained. It’s an adventure waiting to be had. You are almost free now! Just follow your heart and let it lead you where you really want to go.

And yet, you hesitate. I can see the fright behind those wide, wavering eyes that don’t know where they should be looking. Your mind is sputtering for an answer, an explanation, trying to rein yourself in and grasp the situation, but don’t listen to it. It’s only wanting to drag you back down into your recluse. You feel insecure right now, surely, but that’s all part of the process of becoming free.

Do you hear the voices? If you stand here long enough, the wind may just carry them to you. They belong to ponies just like you. Their ways of life had just shattered much like your own, and they too are just now realizing the world they live in. They are confused, scared, and letting their minds lead themselves astray. But you, at the very least, are different. You aren’t letting your head muddy your hooves. Your heart is strong, and that’s something you’re coming to understand, isn’t it? The longing. The bliss. The frustration. The rage. The emotion. You are not a machine. You are a pony. And this, my dearest friend, is your first lesson.

Look up at the sky.

With trepidation, she stared at the sky above, and her racing mind at last came to settle. The whole of the world was slowly becoming basked in the shadow of a brilliant ring. The moon blotted out the sun, eclipsing its light and robbing the world of color.

This is the first obstacle you must overcome, and then everything should come much smoother. I promise. But first, you must cleanse yourself of your poison. Your mind is still there, still trying to dictate your soul into doing what is logical, reasonable, and expected. But is it righteous? If you let your mind take control all this progress will be lost. You will go back to your silent, isolated self, free of emotion and value. Once more, you will become nothing, and you will return to knowing nothing. You will shoot yourself down from becoming what you really are. And what are you, I wonder?

What is it you really want to be? A machine, or a pony? Look up to that moon in the sky, that which is a symbol of freedom and expression. And it’s up for you to decide, right here and now, to choose what life you want to have; whether or not to move it. Go ahead. I dare you.

Tears formed in the pit of her eyes and her legs began to buckle. Her horn shined brightly, drowning the room with its ethereal glow and beckoning the ponies around her to retreat. At last, she couldn’t take it anymore, and she locked her legs and screamed anguish to the heavens. Her magic fizzled pathetically and she turned and ran.

Now you understand. Now you see the error of your ways, of the past life you used to lead. But that will not happen anymore, will it? I can see the burning passion within your heart that fuels the fire in your legs, the tears in your eyes, and the chain wrapped around your mind. It’s refreshing, isn’t it? To again feel fear of the unknown. The sensation of love that’s been stagnating all this time. To lose control and yet still retain it. What you are in control of now, at last, is your life! Embrace it. Embrace what you have at your disposal and discover who you truly are!

She bolted out of the stairwell and ran across the marble floors. The sound of her sharp gallop was deafening, echoing off the halls as she ran between them.

Escape. Escape the fantasy these walls bear down on your and create your own reality. No one truly knew who you were before, remember? So why should you? You know next to nothing already, after all, and there’s so much in this world to learn. Forget the nothingness you’d so timidly clung to. Purge it from your memory so the only thing left you know for certain is who you are. And you are a pony.

Ponies have needs and they have wants. What is it you need? What do you want? You won’t know until you give something, anything, a try and take it. If it’s power you desire, I assure you you’ve got plenty of that. You’ve let it squander for so long, I bet you don’t even know your true potential anymore. What about attention? A little egoboo never hurt anyone, but it’s something that must be properly earned. Go forth and show the world what you are, what you can be, and they’ll turn their eyes your way and fill you with such pride, the likes of which no one could ever give themselves. If it’s a home you desire, go out and find it. Create it. This place is no good for you now anyways, so what’s the point in staying around?

She slid into the grand hall and stopped, short of breath and nearly tripping over herself. There, on the far side of room, her other stood definitely in her falsified glory.

Ah yes, her. This brings us to our next lesson, my dearest friend. You are now freed, independent, but there are still powers in place that wish to see you return to that forlorn lifestyle you wish so much to leave behind. As long as the foundations still stand, there is nothing to stop the building from being rebuilt.

Look at her. Look at her insidious façade, the way she frowns disappointedly at you like a mother disciplining their child. Look at the way she presents herself, thinking she knows all there is to know when in actuality she knows absolutely nothing. You were once like her, dearest friend, but sadly there is no saving her. Your mere presence, the simple matter of fact that you have transcended her likeness, must leave her scared. Upset, that she’s now left alone. Jealous, even. She wants to be you, but only you can be you because you is who you are: someone special and free who follows their heart and refuses to be a slave of their mind. She is on a path to self-destruction! Fortunately, I was able to save you in time, but I’m afraid there is nothing we could do for her. What she wants is not what you need. You can run, run far away and forever leave her in your shadow, but she will run after you. I know this, and it’s time you do to. Because as long as she still stands there to defy you of your wishes, they will never be fulfilled. And aren’t your wishes, the adventure outside beyond these walls, your very heart—is none of it worth fighting for?

She took a step forward.

She doesn’t understand you nor could she ever hope to. She’s bogged by her reason and logic, thinking you’re deranged to have listened to your heart. Show her otherwise. Show her what you’re capable of now that you’re your own. She will not listen so easily, so you must raise your voice, cast down upon her all these emotions you’ve let grow stale, and let her experience what it’s like to be a pony and not a machine. Crack her, so you can save her from herself.

She raised her head and said, “Don’t do this. Please.”

"Oh, but it’s too late for that, my friend."

Author's Note

I don't even know. Impulsive oneshot is impulsive.

Fun fact: the working title for this was "Write My Story."