Out of the corner of her eye, Pinkie Pie noticed her team watching her intently. They’re probably waiting for me to burst into song, she thought, they’ve been waiting all day. They probably wanted to hear “Giggle At the Ghostie.” But that song was for dispelling irrational fears. Today, fear was the only rational response.
Still, it wasn’t natural for Pinkie to be so serious, and she knew it was unnerving everypony. She needed to do something about that.
She just didn’t feel like it.
They were on the barrens outside Ponyville; there was little more than stony outcrops and scattered boulders, with flat patches of bare dirt between the rocks. Pinky had to agree, if you had to have a battle this was the perfect place for it. Nothing, including war, would make the barrens much worse. What a dump, thought Pinkie, I wouldn’t like this place even if I didn’t know there was an army of enemy ponies marching across it right at me!
The defenders of Ponyville were attempting something called a “draw play.” Pinkie didn’t like the term much. She didn’t think the word “play” should ever be used as part of war plans. The good guys were arrayed in something like a letter V, and the idea was let the bad guys march right down the middle of the V so they could be ambushed. It sounded like a smart idea, but it meant letting the enemy get uncomfortably close to Ponyville before stopping them.
Pinkie had spent the morning supervising a crew setting little “traps” for the advancing army. Trip wires and other triggers would release a small flight of balloons whenever a pony stepped on the wrong spot. Since balloons were silent, hopefully the bad guys would advance quite a ways before realizing they had given themselves away. Anyway, Pinkie liked the idea that they could keep track of the bad guys using what amounted to a simple practical joke. She grinned, despite herself. But it was short lived.
For “combat engineering” it was a task well suited to a party planner.
“That’s the last of the balloons, Miss Pinkie,” said one her crew, a mare named Primrose.
“No red balloons, right?” demanded Pinkie.
“We have deployed none of the red balloons,” said Primrose. A big release of red balloons was the signal that the enemy had broken through, and Rarity needed to move her reserves into place to be the last line in defense of Ponyville. If that happened….Pinkie didn’t want to think about it.
Pinkie used to love red balloons. She might like them again tomorrow, if she got to celebrate by popping them all without letting any go. Right now Pinkie hated red balloons.
“All we have left are these,” said Primrose, indicating a crate of supplies.
“Poppers?” said Pinkie. She got out a map and pointed. “Place them in all the good hiding places around here.” The poppers fired nothing more lethal than streamers, but they were loud, and a frightened pony diving for cover wouldn’t know they were harmless. “Just make double sure nopony steps here.” Pinkie pounded the spot emphatically. “That would ruin the surprise. It’ll also ruin your whole day.”
The ponies laughed nervously.
“I love surprises, don’t you?” asked Pinkie. She couldn’t help it, she found herself giggling at the joke. “Do you think the enemy will enjoy it?”
As they shared a laugh Pinkie sensed the ponies around her relaxing . Good, thought Pinkie, feeling better herself. “One thing’s for sure, the first shot fired in this battle is going to be festive!”
Rainbow Dash landed atop a dead tree and surveyed the battlefield. There wasn’t much to see just yet.
She was trying to psych herself up for battle, and she was miserable.
Pegasi have a long, proud military history. They were dashing and daring; it was exciting to watch them, and exhilarating to be a pegasus. They could also be totally irrelevant.
Rainbow wanted to get up there and mix it up with the enemy like the gallant knights of the air of old. She wanted to go hoof to hoof and wing to wing with the enemy’s best fliers, high above the rest of the battle. But that would be stupid.
That sort of fighting might be fun, but it was a waste. Air forces tended to cancel each other out going one on one, and often didn’t figure significantly in the outcome of battles.
Battles were won on the ground.
So the name of the game was “close ground support.” Stay low so you could cover your fellow pony’s backs. Take out targets on the ground the ponies without wings couldn’t reach. Only engage enemy pegasi when they swoop down and try to harass your troops.
“Bah!” spat Rainbow. “Isn’t war supposed to be exciting? This sounds more like work!”
But it was how you won battles.
Rainbow just knew the enemy fliers would be high above; taunting them, taunting her! Daring her to abandon her position and fly up to duke it out with them. She was determined not to take the bait, and Rainbow meant to keep the other Ponyville pegasi focused on their duty as well. But it wasn’t going to be easy to maintain discipline when her own heart wasn’t in it.
It was the best opportunity of Rainbow’s life to show off. It was also just about the worst time do so.
“This stinks!” whined Rainbow. She then looked around to make sure none of her troops heard. That would be bad for moral.
Well, it was combat at its grubbiest and least gallant and exciting, but at least it meant Rainbow would get into the fight. It was better than being a medic like Fluttershy, or a non-combat whatever Twilight was.
They want to classify me as a non-combatant!, thought Twilight Sparkle, and it took every bit of her self control not to shriek and stomp her hooves.
It was partially Twilight’s own fault, she kept finding important non-combat duties and throwing herself into getting them done. But it was unfair of everypony to assume that was all Twilight was capable of.
What really rankled Twilight was that everypony assumed his was all she wanted to do.
When it first became clear that the enemy army was marching on Ponyville Twilight had begun by looking for answers in her library. She didn’t think that was unnatural at all. The books on military history and war were all quite old, but Twilight’s research soon revealed a pattern.
The forces with the best logistics were usually the winners.
Ponies with strong supply lines could usually defeat ponies who had to forage and live off the land. Ponies who had recently enjoyed a hot meal fought better than ponies who were hungry.
Twilight immediately threw herself into the task of establishing a supply line between the front lines and Ponyville.
It wasn’t until everypony started calling her “quartermaster” that Twilight realized they expected this to be all she was going to do. So this morning; when the first scouting reports indicated that the enemy was almost upon them; Twilight turned her clip board over to Spike, and turned supply duties over to the capable hooves of the Cakes (Cup and Carrot joked that this was the biggest catering job they had ever had). Then she ran out to the front lines to join the fray.
She found ponies working hard to improvise battlements to fight behind. And Twilight had thrown herself into the task of building earthworks for the Ponyville defenders. Before she knew it she had taken over the job.
Now she was an engineer. Twilight had traded one non-combat position for another. This was not what she wanted her contribution to be.
“Miss Twilight?” asked one of the young mares working with her. “What do you want done with these boulders over there?”
“Oh, leave those right there,” Twilight answered. “When the time comes I’ll move those myself!”
Twilight was lost in thought, and did not notice the mare recoil and back away from her wolfish grin. The first line of the enemy to come over that rise gets one of these rocks dropped on their heads! Can you say ‘bowling pins’? Twilight chortled at the thought. I’m not a non-combatant. I’m the artillery!
Twilight’s own thoughts startled her. What is the matter with me? What am I thinking?
Still, Twilight wanted to fit in and to do her part. And this time she had a clue as to what to do.
Fluttershy just sat and watched and waited. She didn’t mind waiting.
She thought she understood the basics of the ‘draw play’ the Ponyville defenders were trying to execute. Let the enemy march into an ambush, that seemed simple enough. But the plan called for letting the enemy get very close to Ponyville, and some ponies opposed that vehemently. That was understandable.
The problem with establishing the line further from town was that this would put them next to the White Tail Wood. The enemy, so Fluttershy was told, could march through the forest and flank the defenders. Fluttershy understood that this would be bad.
Fluttershy had spoken out in favor up the draw play, breaking the deadlock and settling the argument. It was always good to get ponies to stop arguing. And Fluttershy had reasons of her own.
An army marching through the White Tail Wood would do tremendous damage. If there was actual fighting in the forest Fluttershy didn’t know how long it would take for the land to recover. This world is filled with so many wonders, what would be the point of winning your war if it meant destroying everything?
War is not healthy for little foals or other living things. But you could lessen the damage done if you tried.
Very few creatures lived on the barrens, and few green things grew there. The Diamond Dogs did have their warrens under the barrens, but they were buried so deep underground they might not even notice a battle on the surface. The Diamond Dogs are smart enough to keep their heads down, aren’t they?, thought Fluttershy, Oh, dear, I do hope they aren’t too very stupid!
Fluttershy was going to be a field medic, but she didn’t kid herself into thinking this would keep her out of the fighting. She fully expected to have to buck her way through the enemy to get to wounded comrades. Fluttershy had been practicing. She’d had to apologize to all the trees near her cottage for bruising their bark.
There was an interesting quote that Fluttershy had found in one of Twilight’s books. A general had once stated that the best soldiers fought for love. Not love of country, and certainly not love of glory. Love of your fellow ponies. No matter who you were, you could and would fight like a demon to protect your friends, the ponies standing beside you in the battle lines.
Fluttershy was sure she could do this.
Applejack was one of the last ponies to arrive at the battle ground. She’d been delayed making preparations at home.
Twilight had told her that the enemy would be almost as eager to capture Sweet Apple Acres as they were to take Ponyville. They had been on the march for some time, their supply lines were stretched, and they were most likely getting hungry.
Applejack just didn’t like the sound of that. So she had gathered everything flammable she could, and prepared bonfires all through the orchard. Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were standing by, and if the worse happened in the upcoming battle they were to light those bonfires. Applejack would rather see her livelihood and her life’s work burn to the ground than donate even one apple to the enemy’s supplies.
She found a perfect sniper’s nest and Applejack began to make herself comfortable. She set up a row of rocks, all about the size of a large apple, along the flat top of a boulder. Applejack took a few test shots, and she hit every target she aimed at. Perfect, she thought. Applejack knew she could hit a pony in the head at half a furlong, and hit them right in the eye at half that distance.
Of course, that assumed she didn’t flinch.
A little rough and tumble wasn’t something Applejack would shy away from, not if the need called for it. But going upside a pony’s head with a rock? That was something Applejack had never done. She didn’t know if she could. She knew she sure didn’t want to.
She had to work on her rate of fire. Even if she could trust her aim it would only be a steady stream of rocks flying down range that would keep the enemy back. Every time she stopped to set up another line of rocks the bad guys could creep a little bit closer. Once they were close enough to charge her position it would be down to hoof to hoof combat. Applejack could handle herself in a fight like that. But that was a far cry from actually wanting to do it.
Among the ponies who were watching her target practice Applejack noticed a young colt who looked completely lost. Mind you, all of Ponyville’s young ponies looked a little lost today. But this poor fellow looked particularly bewildered.
“Hey, there, Son,” called Applejack. “What’s your name?”
“Me, Ma’am?” said the colt, startled to be noticed. “I’m Shiny Copper, Ma’am.”
“Well, Shiny, did anypony trouble themselves to give you some orders,” asked Applejack.
“No, Ma’am.”
“Well, allow me to correct a couple a of things,” said Applejack. “First off, mah name ain’t ‘Ma’am,’ it’s Applejack. And secondly, you now have orders. You’re with me, Shiny. You’re mah loader.”
“Yes, Ma’am…Applejack,” said Shiny. “What does that mean?”
“It means you go to the engineers and borrow a basket. Then you gather up a bunch of rocks about so big, and bring ‘em back here. Then we’ll drill.”
They drilled. And they drilled. Before long Shiny could set up rocks for Applejack as fast as Applejack could buck them away. Yeah, now that’s more like it!, thought Applejack.
Applejack was also pretty sure she had gone over range safety with Shiny, but those lessons apparently didn’t stick.
A rock rolled away and fell off the front of the boulder. “I’ll get it,” said Shiny, stepping forward. And Ponyville’s first casualty in the war was very nearly from friendly fire.
“Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it!” screamed Applejack. She’d nearly dislocated her hip holding her shot. “Did ah not say ‘Never cross in front of this boulder’? Did ah not say ‘Do Not Step Into Mah Line Of Fire’?!”
“Yes Ma’am..Applejack…Ma’am…” stuttered Shiny.
And it was in that moment that Applejack knew that she wouldn’t flinch today, that her aim would be true. Because keeping the enemy at a distance was the only way she could protect young Shiny.
“Get your basket, and go collect them rocks, Shiny,” said Applejack. “We’ll need ‘em all back. The next round we fire will likely be in earnest.”
This is just dreadful, thought Rarity. Absolutely dreadful.
From her position Rarity could see the barren valley where all her friends were, and she hated it.
There were two main approaches an army could take into Ponyville, and one of them was the road from Canterlot. This was too narrow, too easily blocked, and provided no cover. Only a foal would lead their army this way.
But if there was no opposition on this route an army could use this road to march, unchallenged, straight into Ponyville. And so somepony had to be here, blocking the road and presenting a challenge.
This gave Rarity’s position just the right combination of “essential” and “pointless” to make anypony despair.
They had to be there. But so long as they were there they were useless.
Absolutely dreadful!
They had to present the ‘appearance’ of stiff opposition. Since it was all about appearances, Rarity had to admit that she was just the pony for the job. But that didn’t make her any happier at her work. Her troops were almost too young to fight, or almost too old to fight, and two out of three ponies at the barricade were made of straw.
Expertly crafted out of straw, Rarity corrected herself, with some pride.
The skeleton crew she directed made a joke of Rarity’s secondary duty. They were Ponyville’s only reserves. If there was a break through of the main lines she was expected to race back to Ponyville and establish a last line of defense. That was nonsense. Even if they could redeploy fast enough, they would arrive in Ponyville exhausted and in no shape to fight (not that they were in much shape to fight to begin with). Perhaps they could last long enough for the other defenders of Ponyville to reorganize and launch a counter offensive. But that wasn’t the way to bet.
Rarity had been expecting Twilight to join her at the barricade, but that hadn’t happened. She hoped this meant Twilight was in Ponyville organizing things, and basically just being Twilight. But Rarity suspected Twilight had found some excuse to go be on the front lines.
Rarity knew that Applejack was down there, doing…whatever needed doing. And Rainbow Dash would be charging ahead of everypony. It would be easier to chain down a tornado than to hold back Rainbow.
Rarity had hoped she could convince Fluttershy to block the road with her. But Fluttershy had insisted the ponies needed all the medics they could get. Rarity had heard that an honorable army would not attack a field medic. A practical army, on the other hoof, would make medics a special target. Rarity chose not to think about this.
Then there was Pinkie Pie. Rarity couldn’t make sense of what motivated Pinkie. But then, often Pinkie couldn’t either. As far as Rarity could tell, Pinkie had chosen her assignment because she liked balloons.
Rarity had been watching the balloons intently. So far none of them had been red, the signal to redeploy. But there had been a lot of them in the last hour.
A few balloons could be explained by clumsy enemy scouts, or curious Diamond Dogs, or even rabbits. But balloons in the numbers Rarity was seeing now could only mean one thing, the enemy’s main body. They were marching right at Rarity’s friends.
BOOM!!!
Every firework in all of Ponyville went off at once. But the explosion wasn’t high in the sky. It was at ground level.
“My,” Rarity muttered to herself. “How very festive.”
“Miss Rarity? Is that…? ”asked a young mare.
“Yes, Blossom Forth, that is it,” answered Rarity. “We have just engaged the enemy. Everypony, stand ready. We will know in a half an hour, an hour at the most, if we are moving out.”
Celestia save us, thought Rarity, we are at war.
Author's Note
This story was inspired by the orchestral piece, "The Great Pony War - Movement 1, War" by Coconeru. Please give it a listen,
http://soundcloud.com/andrew-cinnamon-yi/the-great-pony-war-mvmt-i-war
Movements 2 and 3, Victory and Peace, are also very cool.