Poison Joke, Poison Joke Everywhere

by SolongStarbird

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, Zecora, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2070

Discord is eating seeds again. This cannot be good.

When Discord decides to eat seeds again, it causes quite a panic.
What could be in those seeds?
(I guess the title gives it away.)

WARNING: contains Discord and Poison Joke related antics

Published 2014-02-12 18:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 18:40:01 UTC

Seeds

Ponyville was experiencing a normal day, as most would call it. Some might even consider it too normal. Applejack for one, didn't really care. All that mattered to her at the moment was delivering the latest shipment of shiny, rotund Red Delicious apples to it's destination. She figured she would arrive at Sugarcube Corner to drop the shipment off in less than five minutes. She entered the more central area of Ponyville to be met with the sound of ponies yelling at pedestrians in attempts to sell what seemed to be every kind of fruit and vegetable imaginable. It was the time of year in Equestria when crops were abundant and farmer's markets, such as the one Applejack was currently navigating her way through, were popping up everywhere. She made it through the crowd and made a beeline for Sugarcube Corner, where the Cakes gratefully accepted the shipment and immediately set to work on a batch of delectable apple muffins.

After finding her way through the bustling market once again, Applejack set off for Sweet Apple Acres in order to pick up the zap apple jam that she had promised to give to Twilight. She crossed paths with someone most unexpected shortly into her journey.

Applejack was not exactly happy to see Discord that morning. No one seemed to like him, except for Fluttershy, of course, but that pegasus could put up with anypony.

Discord was contentedly munching away at handful after handful of seeds from a rather large sack. It was quite easy to state that he was not being very neat about it. Seeds flew left and right, slipping out from between his fingers and littering the ground. This in itself was highly suspicious, considering the fact that Discord had planted the vines that had nearly killed the Tree of Harmony.

Applejack avoided eye contact and began to hasten her step. Discord happily called out to Applejack in the slightly mischievous way that he always did. This did not stop Applejack from breaking out into a sprint. She didn't care about Discord's feelings at the moment.

The door into the library burst open as Applejack bolted in, plowing over Spike in the process. She frantically called out for Twilight, to which Spike, still laying on the floor, replied, "She's at the market."

"How long has she been there?"

"About 15 minutes."

"Ah need to talk to her now."

As if on cue, Twilight burst through the door in a panicked frenzy.

"Spike! Prepare a letter now!" she shouted.

"Would somepony tell me why everypony is losing it?" Spike asked, still bewildered.

"Discord is eating seeds again!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Ah came here to tell you that," came the statement from Applejack.

"Remind me why this is significant," Spike replied.

"Remember when Equestria was infested with those vines from the Everfree forest?" Twilight inquired in an attempt to jog her assistant's memory.

"Umm, yeah," came the response.

"During my vision, I saw how Discord spread the seeds that those vines grew from. He spread them by sloppily eating them as part of a cover. It appeared that he was just being random, when in truth he was planning ahead. I believe he is doing something similar. Whatever is in those seeds, it cannot be anything good."

"Well there ain't any use in trying to clean up after him," Applejack stated.

Twilight sighed. "Sadly, you're right. We will just have to warn everypony and prepare for the worst."

"We still have the option of confronting Discord about the issue," Spike suggested.

"Yes, we will do that too," Twilight agreed.

Applejack placed the jam on the center table of the library and the three of them departed for Fluttershy's.

Discord claimed that they were just tasty seeds, and of course, Fluttershy defended him on the issue.

"If there are any weeds, I will be sure to help dispose of them," came the sarcastic response from Discord. As always, he found a way to comically sell his statement. This time it was by temporarily dawning a pair of overalls and pulling a trowel out of his ear as he made his promise. Neither Twilight nor Applejack bought it.

As Twilight went to bed that night, she was plagued by thoughts of what could be gestating within those seeds.

Apparently Poison Joke is not a Weed

Twilight woke up, lifted herself out of bed, and rushed to the window as soon as she remembered what events had transpired the previous day. As she had feared, the seeds were more than just tasty. Fields of blue swallowed Ponyville just as the sea might do to a sinking ship. Anywhere one could look there was some sort of Poison Joke related element.

Twilight yanked the curtains shut and did her best to calm her breathing. She ran downstairs into the library and nearly ran Spike over. She quickly apologized and began to let her observations spill out of her mouth.

"Yes, I know," was Spike's reply to just about everything she said.

"What are we going to do?" came Twilight's nervous response. "We need to talk to Discord, but we can't get anywhere without stepping in the Poison Joke."

"Umm, Twilight."

"What, Spike?"

"Princess Twilight."

"Oh yeah," Twilight blushed a bit, "I forgot for a second there."

Twilight went upstairs, allowed Spike to mount her, and took off from the balcony. She decided that their first stop would be Fluttershy's house, mainly so that they could talk to Discord. Looking from her heightened viewpoint, Twilight could see that the waves of blue did not stop at Ponyville. They spread as far as the eye could see, and probably even farther than that. It was very unnerving to think that the entirety of Equestria could be coated in layers of Poison Joke.

Upon arrival at Fluttershy's house, the racket of panicking animals was very apparent. Following a natural instinct, they were all attempting to enter the cottage in order to avoid the Poison Joke. The only problem with this was that they were all attempting to enter at once, causing quite a commotion at the front door as well as forcing Twilight to find an alternative entrance. In this case it proved to be the window. Alighting on the floor of the cottage, Twilight saw that Fluttershy was attempting to herd the animals through the door in an orderly fashion as well as calm them down.

Discord walked into the room and upon seeing Fluttershy's struggle, asked if there was a problem.

"You wouldn't mind helping, would you?" came Fluttershy's response.

Discord snapped his fingers and the doorway temporarily widened, allowing an avalanche of fauna to pour into the cottage. He pulled Fluttershy out from beneath a pile of critters and began to dust her off.

"Would you mind explaining why you lied to us, Discord?" Twilight angrily asked.

"Why, I would never do such a thing." came a response that could easily be labelled as sarcastic.

"Those were definitely more than just tasty seeds," Twilight stated.

"Poison Joke seeds are just tasty seeds, Twilight," Discord responded, "Just tasty seeds and nothing but tasty seeds are two different things. I'd think that you of all ponies should have seen that one coming."

"Grrrr...," Twilight growled.

"Well you did promise that you would help take care of any weeds," Fluttershy reminded him.

"Well, I did say that," Discord admitted, "but alas, this Poison Joke is not a weed."

"What? Of course it is!" Twilight exclaimed.

"A weed is any plant that was not intended to be grown by and/or displeases the gardener. Since I intended to grow this Poison Joke, it is technically not a weed." Discord chuckled.

"But we're displeased by it," Spike chimed in.

"You're not the gardener," Discord stated, "That is about as fair as me telling Applejack to remove her orchards because they displease me."

"Discord, this is making everypony unhappy. It is making me unhappy. Please dispose of all this Poison Joke."

"Oh, alright," Discord snapped his fingers, "But only because you asked so nicely."

"Thank you." Fluttershy said as both she and Twilight walked out the door, only to land face first into a clump of Poison Joke.

Fluttershy turned to confront a sniggering Discord.

"Discord, I asked you to dispose of the Poison Joke."

"I did. I removed the roots. They will wither away soon."

"That's not good enough."

"Alright, fine," Discord snapped his fingers once again, and the fields of blue vanished.

"That's better," said Fluttershy.

Fluttershy proceeded to usher the animals out of her house and back outside, and Twilight stayed to help. Spike, on the other hand, decided to walk back to the library. It wasn't long until Fluttershy began to complain about blurry vision. Twilight took a look at her and noticed that her irises and pupils had begun to fade. Twilight had a good idea about what was happening, so she knew who would be able to help.

"Come on Fluttershy. Let's go see Zecora."

Guilt Trips and Apologies

Halfway through Ponyville, Fluttershy's vision gave out entirely. Twilight let Fluttershy hold onto her tail as to guide her. Soon they had made it to the Everfree forest. As Twilight walked along the faintly outlined path that lead to Zecora's she noticed that the Poison Joke they had stepped in the first time they had met Zecora was still there. It was a relief to see that Discord hadn't destroyed the existing plants, as such could cause problems with the balance of the ecosystem.

Soon they arrived at Zecora's hut. Strangely, the sound of sobbing could be heard coming from the inside. As they stepped inside, Twilight saw that Zecora was curled up in a puddle of tears in the corner.

"Zecora, what's wrong?" Twilight asked.

"Twilight, it's horrible. I stepped in Poison Joke this morning, and now I have forgotten how to rhyme!" Zecora wailed.

"Pray tell, why is that a problem?" Twilight asked.

"Rhyming is a part of me. I can't function right if I can't rhyme. I can barely even think straight right now as it is."

"Why don't you just mix up a batch of that bubble bath like last time?" Fluttershy suggested.

"I lack the ingredients, as well as the clarity of mind." Zecora sobbed.

"I am sure me and Fluttershy could find enough ingredients for both of you," Twilight offered, "That's kind of why we came here. The poison joke has taken her vision."

"What about you? I'm pretty sure you need it too." Zecora said.

Twilight, suddenly remembering that she had fallen into the Poison Joke as well, frantically searched for a mirror. When she found one, she could barely believe what she saw. In place of her horn was a single small wing, and on her back were two horns where her wings should have been.

As she jumped back in shock, she heard laughter from above. When she looked up, none other than Discord was floating on the ceiling, cackling at the spectacle below.

"You should see yourselves right now!" he exclaimed between fits of laughter.

"Discord!" Fluttershy wailed, beginning to cry, "This isn't funny. This is hurtful!"

As Fluttershy's blind eyes continued to produce tears, Twilight saw that Discord was beginning to melt in guilt. With a snap of the finger, Twilight's wings and horn returned to their normal positions, Zecora stopped crying, and Fluttershy's eyes returned to their normal boldness.

It was Twilight's turn to gawk at the spectacle before her as she watched Discord curl up around Fluttershy and hug her, bawling his eyes out.

"I'm so sorry, Fluttershy!" he wept, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was bored and wanted to do something fun. I never wanted to see you cry!"

Twilight simply stood there, trying to comprehend the fact that that Discord was crying his eyes out. Never in a million years would she have expected the draconequus to do such a thing.

"It is a shock to see him cry, but he does care for Fluttershy." Zecora commented. A look of unbridled joy swept across Zecora's face as she realized that she could once again rhyme as she always had.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was going to be okay.

Author's Note

Well, there you go. My first story. Tell me what you thought about it and give me tips for future stories