Let it Go

by Sergeant Pepperton

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure
Length: 3870

When Trixie Lulamoon heads north to the Crystal Empire to find a new life, and perhaps a little peace with herself, she finds more than she bargained with when she encounters a cluster of strange crystals - and a group of stranger new friends.

Since she was young, Trixie has always been hounded by high expectations. Nothing was ever good enough, never great enough. 'Your spell needs more strength!' 'You need to hit the books again!' 'Put some more fire into your horn!' Yet she never could satisfy them. Thus, never learning to respect herself, she has always since tried to impress others - all with the same results.

Yet now she's reached a new road in her life after her duel with Twilight in Ponyville, and a new goal. With the newly formed Crystal Empire needing a new line of mages to teach their older ones modern spells, she has set it a goal to be the best of the best of them. Yet if they reject her, or so she thinks, who could possibly comfort her when she can't comfort herself?

In the wilds of the frozen north, she may just find her answer - and perhaps even those who appreciate her for what she is, and not what she hopes to be.

~ Inspired a bit by Disney's Frozen.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-14 00:10:03 UTC

The New Kingdom

"Trixie - are you ready for another go?"

"Huh?" she blinked, quickly rising from her bed. "Erm - can it wait for a bit? I really need some more rest... my magic reserves aren't feeling too hot..."

"Then take the chance to summon more. Come, dearest - the best don't wait for skill to come to them."

"Ugh..."

With a huff, a pouting blue filly creaked open the door to her room, the figure of her mother before her. She was a beautiful mare, with flowing sly-blue mane that complimented a pearl-furred coat. When she walked, the grace in her steps would turn a head of stone, a white cloak swinging from her hips as she did. Yet behind this carefully-prepared appearance, behind all the facades she put on, her eyes spoke of somepony disciplined in much more than just grace. Still, she chuckled at the sight of her only child, standing before her with the sorriest look on her face she could muster.

"Come now, Trixie," she said softly, leaning down to her level. "I know you're tired, and believe me - I was the same way when I was your age, but you'll grow to ignore it over time - once you're casting spells that you could only dream about!"

"Y-Yeah," Trixie sighed. "Of course..."

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "You're usually a little more eager for me..."

She turned her head, glancing away from the Mare in White. "Yeah... I usually am a little more eager, for you..."

Her mother's look of suspicion intensified. "A true mage only speaks in riddle when casting a spell. Tell me what is wrong, young one - it saves time when one doesn't have to guess."

"Well... I've just been thinking..." Trixie said quietly, slowly taking off her newest present, a star-coated purple hat, and hugging it to her chest. It was a gift given to her by her mother - a gift for mages... it belonged to the giver. "Well... you always say that I have great magical potential, but- well- I've been studying on how genes and stuff get passed down between ponies and-"

"Ah- you're doubting your abilities," her mother smirked, before ruffling her daughter's hair. "And here I thought it was something serious."

"How is it not serious?" Trixie grumbled.

"Because I had those doubts when I was your age, too, you know," she winked. "Can you believe it? Me! The highest ranking archmage-"

"In all of Equestria," Trixie sighed, finishing for her. "I know. But what if I'm... different."

"You aren't, trust me," her mother smiled. "I see the same magical potential in you as the last archmage did in me."

Suddenly, taking her mother by surprise, Trixie shot her a glare. "Then why do you never tell me I've done well? Like - ever? It's always 'it needs to be better!' 'More mana! More mana! More stupid mana!' I... If this is what it takes-"

Her mother's gaze suddenly became cold. "Young lady, you're not plan on quitting are you?"

Trixie gulped, snuggling her hat closer to her chest. "Well... not quitting per-say, I just-"

"Because I'm not going to hear it," she grunted. "When I say somepony has magical potential, I mean it! Heck, one day, you could be as great as me - greater! I'm not about to let that be squandered, do you understand?"

"B-But... I don't understand - if I have so much potential, then-"

"You need more training," her mother said coldly. "You have potential, but potential is nothing unless refined and honed. You have a lot to learn before you can impress me."

The room grew silent, as Trixie took a deep breath. She smiled weakly. "Will I ever?"

"That all depends on if you want to-"

"Try harder!" Trixie growled, her voice strained. "Come on - come on!"

With a flurry of sparks and pulsating blue light, the now grown mare was busy at work with her horn, striking down target after target as they automatically popped into view, rising from the ground, from behind trees or even 'jumping' down from the canopy like an airborne assassin. She was in her own, self-made training course - one located deep in the woods of Hollow Shades. Gears clanked and clattered, magically powered to give the course life. It was here she had remained for the last year or so, busy at work crafting her own little wooden cabin. Then, after that, it was nothing but training, training and more training.

She would relearn what she had learned.

"Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five!" Trixie puffed, sweat pouring down her face. "Twenty-six! Twenty-seven! Hooooorah!"

Another beam-attack from her horn, another target down. Her aim was nearly perfect, though every time she performed a spell, a target would fall a little slower as she continued to pant. Then, finally-

"ACK!" Trixie roared, her horn suddenly discharging a shower of sparks instead of a beam of arcane energy. This was enough to send her stumbling back, the tips of her blue mane singed black.

"Curses!" Trixie growled, still panting as she slammed an angry hoof on the soft, forest floor. "Only thirty-two!? How could I have gotten so sloppy over the years! If mother was here now..."

She shook her head in dismay, sighing heavily as she dragged herself back into her cabin. "It doesn't matter, though... I've run out of time."

As it was nearing dark, she quickly drew a fire and lit a few lanterns. It was a nice, quaint little home - one filled with any book she could get her hooves on, and built from the ground-up on her own. The only help she had gotten was from the local timber-mill in refining the wood, yet despite this, it was undoubtedly 'hers'. This wasn't just because of the construction: it might as well have been a Trixie museum dedicated to her past, and hopefully, her future, with trinkets and flyers of her old shows scattered about.

However, the cabin itself may have soon become another item of her past.

When she made peace with Twilight Sparkle, something ignited in her. They say in dark times one would often bask in the warmth of the past, despite how cold it may have felt at the time. She didn't know why she was doing it, training day after day to re-learn the 'real, practical magic' her mother had taught her, but she carried on nonetheless. It took awhile, re-learning all of them, the ignitio (fire) spells, beam attacks, and other various combat magics, as well as those relating to medicinal matters or simple survival - not to mention all the new spells she was learning without guidance, her pride getting in the way of seeking a teacher.

However, it seemed as it was about to pay off.

It was nearly a half-year ago when she had been given a letter signed by Princess Cadance herself. Somehow, she had heard of her newly magical prowess (though she couldn't believe how - the only prowess she had shown to anyone before then was how to spin a rope about) and had given her the opportunity of a lifetime. She re-read it day after day, barely believing it to be true.

Dear Trixie Lulamoon,

It has come to my personal attention that you have been going through some rough times in the recent years. I can empathize, believe me - I never thought I'd be battling a fallen, shadow king right after nearly suffering a changeling invasion on the day of my wedding. However, my troubles are nothing compared to the Crystal Empire's. Imagine waking up after a thousand years slumber to find that the world around you has completely changed. Imagine trying to defend yourself against any assailants with modern knowledge that you may be lacking. This is the reason why we set up the program allowing our Royal Guards to join with their's, as you may be aware of, yet now, we're taking it a step further.

A dear relative of mine has not only vouched in your favor, but has dug up some records of your family lineage. Though one should never be judged solely on their family's accomplishments, the fact that your mother was none other than Equestria's Archmage Lulamoon certainly doesn't work against you. Therefore, we hope you will consider a role as one of the Crystal Empire's newest tutors in the art of magic, one working directly as as one of her Imperial Mages. If so, please begin your training immediately and prepare for some rather length tests. The date for these will be on the Twenty-Fifth Solar Cycle of Autumn, though please be there a day early or two if possible. Further information will come.

With Highest Hopes,

Princess Cadance...

Trixie narrowed her eyes in stern resolve, smiling slightly. "Perhaps I give myself too much doubt. The Great and Powerful Trixie does have the right genes on her side..."

She then sighed, glancing at the clock on her wall. It was nearing midnight. "Though having a good night's rest wouldn't help, either..."

She would need it - her train bound for the Crystal Empire would leave tomorrow.

"Woah! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh this is awesome!"

She stood on the wooden platform of her new home's primary train-station, levitating two travel bags by her sides. Behind her, the Equestrian Express was just coming to life again, leaving her to whatever this new land had in store for her. This new land, of course, was in front of her - or more specifically, above her. Crystal buildings sprouted from every patch of soil, swinging high into the sky and looking down on her. However, all were dwarfed by the massive structure that was the Crystal Palace, the beacon for all life in the North - the emerald of the Crystal Empire.

Fitting that they called their capital Emeralius.

"Wow," she said, her voice filled with awe as the city's sights twinkled in her eye. "Pictures do not tell enough words for this place." She then smiled to herself. "Such a fitting place for The Great and Powerful Trixie, is it not!?" she proclaimed, her voice half-hearted as she placed her stuffed travel-bags down by her sides.

"Mommy, why is that mare talking to herself?" a passing colt gulped.

"Oh, she's just monologuing honey. Leave her be," his mother sighed.

"Indeed, I am, young foal!" Trixie proclaimed. "And from hence-forth The Great and Powerful Trixie shall be watching over you!"

"Oh no! Mommy! She's a predator!" the foal cried. "And not the cool alien kind, either!"

The mother twirled around, glancing at Trixie in suspicion. "Excuse me? What do you mean by that?"

Trixie's eyes widened in horror. "I mean - um... I mean I'm going to become an Imperial Mage and uh - watch over ponies that way! You know, being a hoof of the law... and stuff. Erm - your child is adorable, did I mention that?"

The mare slowly nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Right..." She then quickly ushered her foal away. "Come on, Button Mash, don't need you getting any ideas..."

"But that's awesome! And seriously, if she can become a mage, couldn't I?"

"Honey, you're an Earth Pony."

"... So?"

"Just keep trotting..."

It was nearly instantaneous, and surprising as well. The words of this small foal were all it took for Trixie's facade of confidence to fade away. Her ears sagged, and slowly, but surely, her eyes began to gaze upon the Crystal Empire the same way she glanced at every other town she had traveled to before her isolation - doubt.

"Perhaps," Trixie said sorrowfully. "This isn't the greatest idea. How can I hope to help protect others when I cannot even help myself?"

Suddenly, her eyebrows slanted, a determined, stone look coming over her. "But perhaps I am not giving myself enough credit! I have been training nearly a year for this! Re-learning what I've learned!"

"Re-learning what?"

Trixie turned about, gazing at the sight of an orange-coated, armor-clad pegasus standing (and smiling) before her. A pegasus with lovely brown eyes, luscious blue fur, and a voice that-

Oh crap. And she had just been talking to herself.

"Oh- um!" Trixie blushed, grinning sheepishly. "Errr - hello! Just uh - talking to my um... imaginary... friend?"

The guard raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a little old for that?"

"Well... um... yes, of course!" Trixie stated, a hint of false-bravado in her voice. "Future mages do not adhere to such juvenile - um -"

The guard was now smirking, a knowing expression on his face.

"I'm... still mostly sane, by the way. No craziness here!" Trixie squeaked.

He chuckled lightly. "I don't think you're crazy. Trust me - nerves can make anyone act funny."

"H-How do you know I'm nervous?" Trixie said defensively. "I'm not nervous! I'm just... um... I haven't eaten in a while! Yes! A lack of food dulls Trixie's mind!"

The guard didn't seem convinced. "But... you're speaking in third person."

"Is Trixie?!" Trixie retorted, before blushing further. "I mean... am I?"

He chuckled yet again. "Look, I'm just playing with you. Name's Flash. Flash Sentry. Heh - guess you're here for the magic showdown, huh?"

"S-Showdown?" Trixie said, gulping. Her mind became a flurry of thoughts. Magic showdown? Had she got the wrong date? Even worse - was she late? Had she missed it entirely?!

"Er, by that I mean the Imperial Mage Trials," Flash smiled. "Sorry- didn't mean to worry you."

"Hehe, w-well that's good," Trixie stuttered, before flashing Flash a determined look. "And by that I mean - um - I'm not nervous! I never get nervous! Nervous and Trixie are like... um... oil and water! Arch-Enemies for life not destined to co-exist, only to compete for dominance!"

He perked an eyebrow, as Trixie grinned sheepishly. "You know, usually it's guys who try the whole bravado thing," Flash mused. "But... yeah - you just made it. I was ordered to head here to round up any last-minute hopeful arrivals and escort them to the Royal Mage Tower. Guess you're the only one here, huh?"

"Er, as far as I know," Trixie sighed, before glancing at him with the a hint of a smile. "B-But anyway, I thank you, but I can probably find my own way to the tower." With that, she began to trot towards the biggest building she could see - or at least the biggest that looked like a tower. "Race you!"

"Er, uh - Miss Trixie!" Flash called, chasing after her. "Tower's part of the palace." He gestured towards the imposing structure - one that was nearly opposite of where she was heading.

"Oh, um-" Trixie squeaked. "I knew that! I just wanted to um - take a tour... and stuff..."

Flash rolled his eyes. "Alright, well... you probably should come with me anyway - just in case. They close the mage tower at sun-down - in five minutes - so you'll need me to let you in anyway."

"Well..." Trixie said, glancing away from him. "I um... suppose some company wouldn't hurt..."

"Definitely could use some myself," Flash smiled, gesturing for her to accompany him. "My partner's off duty for a bit - nearly broke a wing hitting on the new captain."

"O-Oh! Your captain's a mare?" Trixie presumed.

"Na, it's a dude."

Trixie blinked.

"O-Oh!"

"Yeah, it's kind of a new thing for the Empire - you know, ponies going the other way or both. I didn't even know my partner was gay until the captain started hitting on him." Flash then chuckled. "Don't think he's been here long enough to know the rules, either, the Captain that is, though he might not even care - this guy will hit on anything that moves, I swear. Just uh - try not to be offended or anything when he does it to you."

"Well, if he's handsome enough..." Trixie said.

"Yeeeeah, and that's the trap," Flash winked. "I don't wanna know how many notches he has over the ole bed post, if you know what I mean. But yeah - nuff' bout him. Your name's Trixie, right?"

"I'm surprised you didn't catch that," she teased in a sarcastic tone.

"Heh - got me there," Flash smiled. "Still - the name sounds familiar. Heard it back when I was in Canterlot. Something about her being a show pony who got in a duel with Princess-"

"Er, yes -" Trixie coughed. "That... that was me..."

"Seriously?" Flashed laughed. "Um... don't mean to be mean or anything, but were the rumors true about everything that-"

"Yes, yes... it's all true," Trixie said solemnly. "But... I was a different person back then. I... well I'd like to think I've changed a lot over the the past year."

"Seems like you have," Flash said with a warm smile. "They said that you used to speak in third person all the time."

"H-Heh," Trixie said, a small grin on her. "It's a habit Trixie - I mean - I'm trying to break." She then glanced at Flash, curiously. "So... Flash Sentry, huh? Like the-"

"Yes, like the song," he mumbled quickly.

Trixie giggled. "I take it you're not a fan?"

"Meh," he said, looking annoyed. "It's a decent song, don't get me wrong - just why in Celestia's sunny skies did they have to make it about me?!"

"Wait - it was written about you?"

"Well, no," Flash said, bobbing his head from side to side. "More like about this one movie character with the same name as me."

"Oh, that's right - that silly movie! Why hate, though? I would love to have a song written with my name! Plus, It's so catchy!" Trixie said playfully, before singing: "Flaaash! Aaah-ahhhh! Savior of Equestria-"

"That's uh... that's enough of that," Flash coughed, blushing slightly. "Only thing I've saved lately was some foal's kitten from a tree - you think it'd be easy with wings, too, but that's assuming it wants to be rescued."

Flash quickly showed her a number of parallel claw marks running down his right frontal leg, causing Trixie to wince.

"Ouch - no good deed goes unpunished, hm?"

"You have nooo idea," Flash chuckled, before stopping abruptly.

Trixie peered forward, wondering what had happened, before realizing that with all this talk with her new acquaintance, she didn't even know they had arrived. They were beneath the towering Crystal Palace, her shadow cast upon her fading with the setting sun. Her mouth dropped in wonder as she realized she was beneath a place of such rich history - one where such titanic events had occurred in the past. It was even enough to let her ease her earlier self-doubts, even only slightly.

"Oh my gosh!" Trixie beamed. "This is so amazing! This is... this is the Crystal Palace!"

"The one and only," Flash smiled. "Yeah, takes a bit to get used to. Let me take you to the Mage's Tower, alright? Bet you're ready to get unpacked and all that."

"It... was a pretty long trip," Trixie mused, her earlier doubts returning as she remembered her time on the train - one of intense introspection. Then, suddenly, she did something she hadn't done in many years: "I... I just hope it'll be worth it."

Showed weakness.

"Huh? You OK?" Flash asked in a concerned tone. "You were all big on bravado earlier..."

"I feel like I should be," Trixie admitted. "I've practiced and practiced and practiced for a year now - I've tried so hard to remember what I used to know. Real spells, you know? Not just cheap tricks for impressing spells. Practical, even dangerous."

"I know the feeling," Flash nodded. "Well, I don't - heh - I don't have a horn or anything but I swear I was still shaking even before Captain Shining first called me to spar him... back when I first joined the guard. Surprising what you can do under pressure, though. Or uh - what the right amount of pressure can do to your leg."

He winced to himself.

"And what you can lose," Trixie sighed.

Flash glanced at her sympathetically. "Come on, I'm sure you'll be alright - let's get you settled in."

With that, he led her through the door to the castle, silently bringing her to a (unsurprisingly) locked section of the palace. Only once they were inside did Trixie take an active interest in her surroundings.

"By Starswirl's Beard!" Trixie proclaimed, glancing about what seemed to be a common room. "So. Much. Magical. Goodness!"

Indeed, the room was filled with what one would expect in the commons of a mage's quarters. There were bookcases lining the walls, all filled with strange, forgotten spells just waiting for her to tap into (the benefits of being in an Empire that was essentially a living historical relic), strange, glowing orbs that hovered above ornate, onyx pedestals, and relics in glass cases scattered about everywhere. However, it wasn't complete without the hovering furniture that hung slightly off the ground.

"Heh - yeah," Flash said. "Almost makes me wish I had a horn, myself." He then flicked his wings, smirking. "Almost."

Before he had even finished, Trixie had already bounded over to a nearby book-shelf. However, before she could grab a book, a certain, strange yet familiar portrait caught her attention. Upon it was an odd looking dark-blue unicorn was piercing red eyes, the pair of them nearly overtaking a honest smile that hung on his face, though one that two, cute little fangs stuck out of.

Trixie squinted in confusion, reading the small plaque beneath it. "Archmage Abbadon - The Noble Demon"

"Hm? Who is that?" Trixie asked, furrowing her brow. "He looks quite familiar."

"Beats me," Flash shrugged, chuckling slightly. "I've only been here a few months - whoever that is was probably around before the Empire disappeared."

"A thousand years ago..." Trixie said, her voice filled with awe. "It's hard to imagine that where we stand once stood the same way all those years ago...

"Heh - maybe once they got done house-cleaning the place from Sombra's mess," Flash shrugged.

"I'm quite amazed we already know so much about the Empire's past with what little time there was to study it when they returned..." Trixie said, smiling softly. "Who knows what's left to be discovered?"

"How bout your bedroom for a start?" Flash smirked, gesturing up a set of spiral stairs that extended from the center of the room upward.

"O-Oh!" Trixie stammered. "Sorry - I'm probably about to hit your off hours, aren't I?"

"Eh, overtime's double pay," he winked. "Still, don't wanna push my luck..."

"Heh, right," Trixie chuckled, before following him up the stairs. "Your captain might take you out to a bar or something and make you buy his drinks."

He rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah..."

She gave a brief giggle. "Kidding, kidding... sort of... maybe..."

Little did she know, however, that as she ascended, a pair of eyes was now watching from the entrance-way of the supposedly re-locked tower...

"Heh - why hello there, Ms. Lulamoon - where have you been all my life?"