All That Remains

by Draconian Soul

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity
Length: 23289

While my friends withered away, one remained, one that is near and dear to my heart. I know I will lose her eventually too. The chances are, I'll lose her really soon. But until that faithful day, I'll enjoy every moment with her.

Celestia has told me that a dragon's average lifespan is two thousand years. That is a long time be alone. It gives you a long time to reflect on the friends you lost, something I'm not ready to do. However, the years have aged me mentally, and I have learned the difference of my friends mortality compared to my own.

While my friends withered away, one remained, one that is near and dear to my heart. I know I will lose her eventually too. The chances are, I'll lose her really soon. But until that faithful day, I'll enjoy every moment with her.

She's all I have left. I'd be lost without her.

Artwork provided by the fantastic Kill Joy

Thanks Flint Sparks for making this fic a little more legible.

Published 2014-03-18 03:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-18 03:00:07 UTC

Her Request

The waiter poured the tea into Rarity’s small cup, smiling warmly at her.

“And what would you like this morning, young lady?” he asked, lowering his head out of respect for her.

Rarity giggled, waving her hoof around. "Oh, you flatter me. I know that I'm past my prime."

"You? Past your prime? You could have fooled me!"

The two continued their conversation, and I just sat there, claw on my chin. I envied his ability to go on like normal, talking to her as if she was young and not a fragile old lady.

"But I've held you two for too long," he said, smiling widely. "What would you like to eat today, ma'am?"

Rarity glanced at the menu briefly. Suddenly, her attention shifted towards me, pitting me slightly on edge.

"Spike, I'm having a difficult time deciding what I want." She lifted the menu towards my face. "What would you recommend?"

To the waiter, this was her asking for my opinion. The truth was she was trying her best to hide the fact that her vision was fading. Feigning the happiness was difficult, but I had to do it, for her.

"I think the wheat waffles with blueberries is good, and it's quite filling," I suggested.

"Well, then you have my answer. Wheat waffles with blueberries, if you don’t mind.”

The waiter jotted down the order on his pad. “Will that be all, ma’am?”

“Yes, that will be all.”

“And what about you, young man? What can get you?”

Young. The word would have been flattering under different circumstances. I cleared my throat and said, “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not that young.”

“Really? You don’t look a day over ten! How old are you?”

I sank in my seat, frowning. I never liked giving my age to anypony. It not only was demoralizing to be seen at this height, the same baby dragon I was years and years ago, but it also hurt being reminded of the years that have gone, and the friends that I’ve lost.

“I-I’m sorry for pressing on it,” the waiter apologized. “Do you want anything, sir?”

“Just… just a blueberry muffin.” I answered.

“Spike, is that all?” Rarity asked, tapping her chin. “You normally have a bigger appetite than that.”

“I’m fine, Rarity. Just not that hungry right now.”

“Are you sure?”

I looked somberly at the table, stroking circles around the wood. Rarity frowned, staring at me with those wide, sapphire eyes. I took comfort when she nodded and turned towards the waiter.

“I think that’s all we’ll have for the day,” she said, passing the menus back towards the waiter. He bowed down to the both of us and smiled widely as if nothing had happened.

“Your meals will be out shortly. It’s a nice day to be out and about, isn’t it?”

“It is rather pleasant today,” Rarity said. “Had to drag ol’ Spikey Wikey out here today.” She went closer to the waiter and whispered into his ear. I tried to make out what they were saying, but I couldn’t. It was slightly aggravating hearing them laugh, presumably at me. For some reason, the waiter gave me a wink and then trotted off, leaving me in a state of confusion.

After he left, Rarity turned towards me and put her hooves on her chin. She looked so casual and comfortable around me, as if we’ve been doing this for years. It was like the good old days. I hate thinking about those times now.

“So Spike, how have you been?” she asked. “You come around often, but you rarely ever talk about how you’re doing.”

Because for most of the years, I’ve been sitting in my own misery, with a picture frame and a collection of photos left to keep me company. I wouldn’t dare tell her that though. She need not worry about my experiences and the tears I shedded at night, wondering when it would all end.

“I’m fine,” was all I could muster. The air went cold quickly, that awkward silence lingering. She just sat there, waiting for me to say more. But what else was there to say? Each day was the same, mundane thing. I didn’t believe I needed to bother her with the details, even if she did insist sometimes.

“Nice weather we’re having today,” she said, trying to force out a conversation. “It’s not often I get out in such pleasant weather like this. It’s just a breath of fresh air, wouldn’t you agree, Spike?”

“I suppose…”

My response was empty, much like how I felt. I twirled my fingers along the table, remaining quite. I didn’t know what to say. Should I have feigned happiness and carried on the conversation? Should I have been truthful about how I felt?

“Listen, Spike, what is wrong? You’ve been rather quiet and somber looking for the past few weeks.”

I immediately looked up at her, eyes wide. I wasn’t trying to hide my lack of emotional energy, but I didn’t think she would see through me that easily.

“Nothing’s wrong, Rarity,” I said, sighing. “Everything is just fine.”

“Well your tone isn’t too convincing. I’m not the one to dwell into anypony’s personal business but your behavior is unusual, and I won’t stop asking until you give me an answer.”

“Rarity—”

“Spike… tell me, please?” She stuck her lips out at me, trying her best to pout like she did when I was young. Her features weren’t as smooth as before, and her poking her lips out felted more forced and aged than before. It was silly to sit there as she attempted to manipulate me once again. Sadly, it worked, as always. Why does it always work?

I sighed. My cheeks reddened from her gaze, and prepared to speak my mind. “Well, I’ve just been under a lot of stress recently. I haven’t been able to sleep well recently, thinking about all the times we’ve spent with… you know.”

She nodded, staring at me with wide, observant attention. It was like she was intrigued with what I had to say, more so than I was interested in telling her what she wanted to hear.

“I’ve been feeling really under the weather lately. I… I don’t know exactly why, but I do know that I’ve had a lot of thoughts recently. Some thoughts I don’t want to worry you about.”

Rarity hummed. “And none of this has to do with your age and growth?”

She nailed part of it, which was enough to put a lump in my throat. I couldn’t respond afterwards. What she had said was the truth, the partial truth of the bigger picture. I was scared she would be able to find learn the rest of me.

“Spike, I can’t even begin to understand how it feels to be the age you are and still be that size, but you can’t let that get to you.”

That was easier said than done. Still, her words always made me smile a little.

“Besides, I kind of envy you. I wish I could be this old and keep those young looks.” She rubbed her hooves against her face to showcase her skin’s texture. “No matter how hard I try, my face will always be wrinkly and saggy from now on! My beautiful, young luster is gone! But I have to accept that age means waning beauty. At least you’re still a handsome young drake.”

Why was I blushing at that? Why did those words bring a sliver of hope in torn heart? “And even though you’re aging, Rarity, I still think you’re a beautiful as ever.” And why did I let that slip out? I covered my mouth and turned away from her. I could hear her giggle.

“Oh, Spike, when will you run out of compliments?”

“I… well, um…” I was at a loss for words. Her majestic voice could take the breath out of anyone who dared fall for her charms. I was the unlucky victim. Over eighty years of following her around, doing her bidding, and I can’t shake this feeling that something is missing. I don’t feel satisfied just being a friend, yet it’s the only thing I can do to keep her around.

Before the conversation could go anywhere, the waiter came back, balancing our meals on top of his head. He dropped Rarity’s waffles right in front of her and my muffin, along with a plate of hay hash browns and oranges. I looked up at the waiter, eyes rising.

“Excuse me, sir, but I think you might have given me someone else’s meal,” I pointed out. Both Rarity and the waiter chuckled at my reaction.

“Not at all, sir. This nice, young lady suggested that I give you some more food than what you ordered. I offered to put it on the house since you didn’t seem to be in a good mood, but she insisted to have it paid for.”

Rarity nodded. “I don’t buy you not being hungry, Spike. You normally eat enough to feed three ponies, so I’m going to make sure you eat that fill.”

She wasn’t budging huh? The reason for her treating me like this wasn’t clear, but I was still hesitant. It wasn’t an everyday thing for her to order extra food against my will. Then again, it wasn’t really common for us to be out and about like this together.

“Spike, please eat it, for me.”

That face again. She knew how to tug at my heart. Her skills never failed, and like a blind sheep, I gave into her request.

I pulled the plate closer to me and jabbed my fork into the hash browns.

"I'll leave you two alone for now. Enjoy your breakfast!"

"Oh, we will sir," she said, waving at him. "Thank you for your cooperation. Spike can be a little grouchy at times."

I grumbled audibly, causing both of them to laugh at my dismay.

"It's a pleasure, ma'am. I'll be back to check on you two momentarily. Enjoy!"

He trotted off to serve the other customers, leaving the two of us alone. Rarity lifted her knife with her magic and held them over her waffles.

“Oh, I can’t wait to eat my meal! I’m sure the recommendation you gave me will be absolutely exquisite.”

I nodded, weakly smiling at her as I shoveled the food into my mouth. She slowly cut her waffles, raising it toward her lips with her shaking fork. Her magic wasn’t as strong as it used to be, and I often wondered when it would just fade out and grow weak just like…

No, those thoughts weren’t allowed there. I couldn’t let Rarity see me cry. I wouldn’t let her.

I watched her fiddle around with her fork, placing it over the waffles to keep them steady while she cut them with her knife. I sat and watched her eat, barely touching my food. I spent most of that time trying to figure out Rarity. What made her want to come out today with me? Normally, she would take care of her tasks by herself and I would stay at the boutique, holding down the fort until she returned. But today, she insisted that I be with her, and enjoy myself.

“Spike, why aren’t you eating?” she asked, snapping me out of my trance. I clumsily stabbed my food and tossed it into my mouth. She covered her lips and giggled. “You really are something, Spike.”

My ears flopped, and my face went crimson. It was pathetic. A dragon that’s nearly eighty still manages to make a fool out of himself in front of a lady like Rarity. It was shameful. Yet there she was, still smiling warmly at me while starting to eat her waffles. She chewed slowly, humming softly before swallowing.

“My, these are good,” Rarity said. “No wonder you eat these all the time, Spike. They taste absolutely heavenly.”

“I’m glad you enjoy them,” I said half-heartedly. “Wouldn’t recommend anything that you wouldn’t like.”

“Which is why I’m always glad to have you pick these out for me,” she continued, cutting more of her waffles. “It seems you know me more than I know myself sometimes.”

I smiled. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t a forced smile; it felt natural to me. For the first time in a long time, I truly felt like sharing joy with somepony I loved.

Then that word came to my mind. Love. It’s a complicated word, often shrouded under the shadows of doubt. I never could grasp my feelings for Rarity, whether I loved her or loved the thought of her. It ate away at me almost as much as the fear of losing her.

“There’s the face I like to see!” Rarity pointed her fork at me, causing me to raise my eyebrows. “You have been under the weather lately, Spike. I don’t like seeing my friends so sad and upset. It tears my heart to see that.” She stuck her lips out, her eyes glistening while showing me her adorable, yet soul crushing face. That pouting never ceased to make my heart stop. “I’d do anything, and I mean anything, to make anyone I cared about happy.”

“Is that why you wanted to go out with me today?” I asked, realizing all too late the context of what I said. I dropped my fork as she glanced at me blankly. “Well, I didn’t mean like go out go out. Kind of like two friends having a nice get together. I wouldn’t think of insinuating a date—” I froze once again. Another embarrassing phrase of words escaped my lips. “I mean, you’re pretty enough to date, it’s just… wait, I mean… AAGH!”

I slammed my head on the table… or at least that was what I was aiming for. Instead, I actually sent myself slamming into my own food. I didn’t try to move. I just stayed there wallowing in my own humiliation. Whatever was causing me to stumble today hit me hard. I haven’t felt this hesitant and awkward in a long time. If I recall, I was thirty the last time Rarity made me feel that way. Whatever was happening, it was becoming something of an annoyance.

“Well, that’s part of the reason,” she said, trying to contain her laughter. I slowly lifted my head out of the hash browns and looked at her in confusion. “There’s actually another reason I wanted to come out and do stuff with you today.”

My curiosity was piqued. Maybe it was blind hope, but the way she said another reason had me on edge. I wiped my face and stared at her, waiting for her next words with great eagerness.

“Well,” Rarity began, continuing to cut her waffles into small pieces. “I would rather wait until we got done eating. Let’s just enjoy the pleasant meal before I make this request, okay?”

There was nothing I could say other than okay, and even then, all I did was nod. The rest of the meal went on casually. She wouldn’t let the silence last too long, forcing me into a conversation with her every opportunity she could. Now that I think about it, it was probably for the best. The longer the silence, the more time I was given to think about things that I shouldn’t think about. Those were a non-issue at the time, and dwelling on them is something that I shouldn’t do when in the presence of Rarity. What I should do instead, is blush everything she made her witty, coy comments towards me. Just like old times.

This continued for nearly thirty minutes. By the time I actually finished my meal, it was cold and dry. It’s unusual Rarity finishes her meal before me, but she managed to beat me to the punch, eating at her usual pace. It says something when a refined, aged lady can outdo someone with my size and metabolism. It didn’t take long for our waiter to realize that we were finally finished with our meal.

“So, how did you two enjoy your breakfast?” he asked in one of the most joyful voices I’ve heard in a long time.

“Oh, it was marvelous, darling,” Rarity said. “Spikey Wikey made a wonderful suggestion when he suggested these waffles. They were absolutely divine… if not a little too sweet. I need to watch my sugar a little more. I’m not the youngest thing in the world.”

The waiter's front hoof wavered in the air. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I still see that young, beautiful lady in you.”

As Rarity blushed, I glared at the waiter, loudly clearing my throat to catch his attention. “Um, are you done yet?”

“Oh, sorry about that, sir. I didn’t mean to intrude on you and your lady friend like that!” He winked at me before placing the check on the table. I quickly grabbed it, trying to block off the look of frustration.

“How much is it, Spike?” Rarity asked. I scanned the receipt and gave my reply.

“Twenty-two bits.” I reached into my pockets to fish out any bits I had. I usually walk around with at least ten bits on hand, but I was growing concerned that I didn’t have enough to afford the meal at hand. As I lifted the bits out of my pockets to count them, I heard a clank on the table. Looking up, I saw Rarity putting down thirty bits.

“This should cover it, correct?”

The waiter nodded. “Yes ma’am, it will. However, I think you might have overpaid me a little.”

“Not at all, dear. You deserve every extra bit that you got.”

I looked up at Rarity, shaking my head at her action. “You don’t have to pay for the meal, Rarity. I can pay for it instead.”

“Nonsense!” she objected. “While it is gentlemanly of you to suggest such a thing, a lady never takes advantage of a friend. You’ve been plenty helpful lately, so this one is on me.”

“But—”

“Not only that, but you seemed to have been scrounging around for money while going through your pockets. I don’t want my Spikey Poo to be completely tapped out of money by the end of the day!”

Why did she have to do that in public? It was already bad enough that the waiter called me her lady friend, but now she had to use that pet name around? I sighed and put my bits back into my pockets. At least she was happy about it.

“Well, thank you for your patronage, ma’am,” the waiter said. “I hope you two have a nice day.”

“Same to you!”

“Yeah, see ya.”

The waiter got our trays and balanced him on his head. He was, an eccentric guy to say the least, but I couldn’t speak too ill will about him. He had good intentions, that’s for sure, even if most of them were just embarrassing me in front of Rarity. Then again, she did the bulk of that herself. The things I go through for lo…

Then my thoughts were interrupted by another. We were finally done eating. Whatever it was she wanted to request was ready for the taking now. All I had to do was ask her about it, and then maybe, just maybe, she’d give me some insight on what she truly wanted.

“So, why did you want me to come out with you today?” I asked.

“Beg pardon?” She cocked her head to the side, raising a single eyebrow in a confused manner.

“Well, you said there was another reason for requesting to go out other than just seeing me smile. Is there anything else you wanted to do?”

Rarity sighed, lifted herself from the chair slowly, walking closer to me. Her eyes were more serious and stern than previously. Chills ran down my spine as many different thoughts ran through my mind, barely any of them coherent.

She was looking towards the ground somberly. I tried my best to piece together what was bothering her, but nothing seemed to form. But as soon as she looked back up, a more hopeful expression emerged.

“If I’m not mistaken, Fluttershy asked you to help make sure her cottage was in good shape before she passed away, correct?”

I fell silent, standing there for moments without a single word able to escape me. Concern painted her face when I didn’t react, so I nodded my head, still unable to say anything.

“Well, knowing you, you’ve probably worked yourself to the bone to make sure it looks just as beautiful as it did before.”

I once again nodded. There wasn’t much I could say, or that I wanted to say.

“I was just wondering if I could… well… could see what you’ve done with the place.”

My eyes widened, and my heart dropped. I try not to go there unless I actually need to. I check the cottage every other day to make sure everything is in order and nopony unwanted was doing anything to it. I remember having to run off some young colts who tried to spray the walls with graffiti. It was awkward trying to chase them off in this small body.

I try to avoid excess visits to avoid the memories clouding my vision. This wasn’t going to help me hide from it. I was going to have to embrace it. That was something I wasn’t ready for.

“I know you’ve done wonderful things to it, but I want to see it firsthoof. I want to see for myself what my old friend would be staying in if she was around today.”

Old friend. Old. I didn’t know if I could take that overwhelming amount of emotion. I wanted to tell her no. I wanted to say that we couldn’t go there, and that it was under management. I wanted to just deny her that opportunity. It was a selfish thought, but one that I was really considering.

“Sure. We can go there if you want.” And yet I just agreed to take her. I mentally beat myself up for that. If she was to see me upset, to break down again at the thought. No. That wouldn’t happen. I would be able to stand and go to Fluttershy’s house without one sniff. It wouldn’t be easy, but I had to, for Rarity.

A warm smile painted Rarity’s face, and she cuffed my cheek with her front hoof, causing me to shiver. “Thanks. I really appreciate this, Spikey Wikey.”

“Yeah, no problem…” I looked down, avoiding her gaze. “Whenever you’re ready, we can go there.”

“I’m ready now,” she said eagerly, standing by my side. “So, shall we be going?”

“Of course, my lady.”

I walked by her side, going at her pace to make sure she didn’t stumble on our way to the cottage. She seemed to be humming pleasantly. She was so happy to go see the former abode of a longtime friend of hers, ready to see the home that she resided in for so many years.

I wish I could have shared her enthusiasm.

Back Down Memory Lane

“And then I reupholstered some of her furniture before leaving the other day. I hope that it’s actually comfortable. If someone was to buy the cottage, I wouldn’t want them to sit in something uncomfortable.”

Rarity nodded. “My, you really have spruced up the place. I can’t wait to see what you have done with it.”

“Yeah, me neither.” I was lying of course, but I needed her to stay happy. I don’t know why, but her happiness seems to complete me. Maybe it was the reason I couldn’t tell her no. I couldn’t bear see her hang her head low in disappointment.

The atmosphere of the crowded town depleted as we headed towards the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. It was peaceful and quiet here, a perfect resting place for ponies who didn’t know the mare I used to spend some time with. Butterflies flew through the air, birds chirped giving their harmonious tunes, and a few forest animals ran along the path as we entered the domain of my dear friend, Fluttershy

Even now, I find it hard to say her name. She was such a kind, gentle soul, broken down in depression when the fear of death hit her. I know that feeling all too well. Or, in a sense, I know why she feels that way.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” Rarity said with gleaming eyes, walking through the almost mystical walkway. “It’s like it’s been touched by an angel!”

“Thank you, Rarity. I try my best.” I don’t know where that remark came from, but it was something unexpected in my former state of mind.

Rarity shook her head and rolled her eyes, failing to withhold her elation. It was strange. We weren’t just having idle, dull conversations inside the boutique. We were walking and talking. It was something I avoided doing with her since we lost our dear friends. Was she trying to tell me something? Have I tried to keep her confined and trapped in that place for far too long, and she is embracing her freedom? Am I the dragon keeping the princess locked in her castle? Just assuming that made me cringe.

As we walked closer and closer to the cottage, my legs felt heavier and heavier. It was all too soon. I give myself time to avoid sending myself into another episode, but with Rarity around, the demons were just waiting to call me, lurking inside that cold, empty place. It’s a shame that I viewed it that way. A place surrounded by natural beauty, plants all around and the sound of birds and animals breaking the silence with their harmonious tone should not be tainted by such poisonous thoughts.

We reached the front steps, and her face glowed with nostalgia. I could see her eyes glisten, with tears threatening to escape her. She held them back, refusing to show any signs of weakness and smiled at me.

“It looks just as I remembered,” she said, scanning the home with her aging eyes. “I wonder what you have done with the interior.”

“Only one way to find out,” I said, opening the door. I held my hand out, gesturing her to enter. “Ladies first.”

She proudly trotted in. “Always the gentledrake, aren’t you, Spikey Wikey?”

I blushed and responded with a simple, “Of course,” before closing the door behind us. The only light inside of the house was that of the rays beaming through the windows, illuminating the house in orange splendor. The floorboards were slightly creaky but sleek. Besides the furniture, it was an empty, lonely house.

Rarity looked around, taking in the atmosphere. I can only hope she had pleasant memories of this place before Fluttershy passed away. All I had was the memory of her final breath. I just came to assist her in her final hours, helping around the cottage because she felt weak. During the middle of the day, I sat her down on the couch, and decided to make some tea to relax her a bit. Things were going well, and the afternoon was going well.

When I returned with the cups of tea, I found her lying on the couch, motionless. I prayed that she was just sleeping. That she was just tired and needed a little rest. As you age, you tend to need more rest than before. That’s what I wanted to believe. The reality is that while I was away, while I was taking my time making a beverage that I could have put aside to assist her, her pulse stopped. I remember sitting there, waiting for something to happen, for some movement.

I sat there for two hours, tears rushing down my face. That’s the last memory this house held for me. I wonder what memories Rarity had of her? What her last memories of Fluttershy? It made me wonder if her state of mind was more stable than mine.

"Hey, Rarity, wanna sit down for a bit?" I pointed towards a couch. "You don't have to stand up if you don't want to."

Rarity shook her head. "Oh, I couldn't possibly defile her furniture like that. I wouldn't want whoever decides to purchase this estate to have to deal with a sunken chair. Fluttershy deserves the best representation for her place.”

“It’s fine, Rarity,” I insisted. “I can easily fluff the couch out if I need to. You shouldn’t be on your hooves for too long.”

She glared at me with intensity, crossing her front hooves. “Just what are you trying to say?”

I gulped, shifting my eyes around. It was foolish to consider Rarity unable to do anything for herself because she was old. She deserved much better treatment than that. I frowned and looked down towards the ground in shame, kicking my feet.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I just wanted you to be comfortable here.”

“Well, I couldn’t very well be comfortable knowing that I would ruin the value of this home by messing up your hard work to keep it in shape. It would be a disservice onto them to do so.”

“I guess.” I glanced up at her, waiting for another reaction. “So, what did you want to come here for? I mean, most of the animals have moved out since then, and even the small critters that used to reside here don’t come inside anymore. It’s just an empty… lonely house.”

“Which is in dire need of cleaning.” My head perked up and I looked wide eyed at her. “I mean, no offense, Spike, but this place could use a little bit of dusting. I can feel the particles on the bottom of my hooves! Oh, and this air. It’s so stuffy and—” Her nose scrunched. She wiggled it around before letting out a loud sneeze. “Let’s just say that we could do a little bit of spring cleaning here to make this place more appealing to those who are planning to move here.”

It shouldn’t have been that surprising that Rarity was on top of the cleanliness. If it wasn’t for her sagging, wrinkling skin, I wouldn’t have been able to tell she had aged. Her personality was still intact.

But still, “We”? She wanted to clean with me? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. She might have been lively, but I still worried about her fragile body. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she got hurt.

“Rarity, that’s not necessary,” I told her as she ignored me and continued finding clothes and dusters. “I can do all of the work. You don’t need to—”

She cut me off with her hoof, looking sternly at me. “Spike, I don’t want to hear any ifs, ands, or buts about this. I might be old, but I’m functional, and I don’t want you breaking your back trying to take care of everything yourself.”

I wanted to say something against this, but she had already made things clear. She wanted to work. She wanted to assist me on the task at hand and do some maintenance on Fluttershy’s old cottage. When I nodded, a warm smile graced her face. The confidence she had displayed was second to none. I couldn’t say no to a determined face like that, no matter how much I thought it would be for her benefit. It wasn’t like I couldn’t offer her a break when I felt she was pushing herself.

“Okay, if you really want to help,” I began, “but there isn’t much to do, and I don’t want you overexerting yourself. How does an hour of work sound?”

She nodded her head. “That’s perfectly fine, deary.” She lifted the feather duster she found with her magic and gestured for me to follow suit. “Now let’s get as much done before that hour comes. We have quite a bit of work to do by then!”

There really wasn’t much we had to do, but I didn’t dare tell her that. I was starting to come to the conclusion that she just wanted the memories of the friend. In fact, I was certain that was the case. But why, and for what reason? We would talk about the past, yes, but it wasn’t common for her to want to go to the empty home of her friend and help clean it. I was puzzled, and slightly frightened. I’ve heard stories of those who want closure before they pass away. Was this her coming to terms with things?

I avoided thinking about that for the rest of the hour, but instead made sure she was stable enough to work. I gave her task that weren’t too demanding, like dusting tabletops or making sure all the silverware was straight. They were trivial task, I know, but I refused to let her hurt herself, especially in a home that was the final resting place of Fluttershy.

I did all of the challenging tasks, such as moving furniture around and straightening picture frames on the wall, along with Rarity telling me how to do my job. I shook my head and rolled my eyes with a smile forming on my face. It’s strange how an extra body can turn a house filled with silence and dread into one of livelihood and hope. Before, I could only see the darkness that shrouded the house. The empty feeling that I felt every time she showed up. Now, I can see the light beam through the window, and shine through the house with warm rays.

We continued working on the house for the alleged hour, probably a little longer as time was lost with both of us, before I decided it was an opportune time to stop.

“Rarity, the hour has passed,” I said. “We should stop for the day.”

“Oh, but I still see a little dust on the tables. Oh, and what about the kitchen? We can’t possibly leave the kitchen all dusty!”

Wasn’t that just like Rarity. Her neat freak nature tended to keep her going and wanting to continue a task that wasn’t even necessary. The Element of Generosity she was, and I love her for it. There goes that word again. Love. Fighting my feelings was getting harder and harder, and I was becoming more and more confused because of it. I didn’t know at the time how I felt about her. All I knew was every time I thought about her, I started to feel funny.

“Rarity, I can handle it from here,” I said, walking closer to her. “You don’t need to overexert yourself like this, especially when there isn’t much to clean. Besides, I work on this cottage every other day. I will make sure that it will stay in shape.”

Rarity lowered her duster, sighing. “I’m holding you to that, Spikey Wikey.”

We exchanged a short glance at each other, basking in the accomplishment of completing the task at hand. I smiled at her, in the same, dopey vein that I did when I was sma… well… younger. Her effects on me were merciless. Something else was also merciless at the time.

My stomach. It hadn’t been one hours since we last ate and already my stomach was purring. I blushed, looked up at Rarity and scratched my head. She crossed her legs and gave me a sly look.

“And you said you weren’t hungry back at the eatery. Seems like your stomach is punishing you for your stubbornness earlier.”

I watched as she laughed at me, groaning a little, but enjoying her enjoyment most of all. When the laughter died down, I coughed into my claws and shifted my eyes away from her.

“Well, I guess I could use a little pick me up. Nothing too big though. Don’t want to get even bigger than I already am.” I tapped my stomach, watching it jiggle from the stimulation.

“Then how about the Sugarcube Corner,” Rarity asked.

“S-Sugarcube Corner?” My throat felt dry and lumpy. I could barely manage being here, and now she wanted to go over there? It felt too soon, too sudden. It had only been ten years since she had passed, and going there only made me feel empty.

She was either oblivious to my concern, or just wasn’t caring, because she still graced me with that ever so hopeful smile. “We could get us some pastries to snack on for a while. Then we could just enjoy our little lunch under the shade tree by Sweet Apple Acres.”

It was like somepony dropped a bomb on me. This was a lot to take in at one time, and being surrounded in the presence of the previous areas was something I didn’t think I was mentally prepared for. But she was so hopeful, so free spirited and happy. My emotions were battling with hers, and I wanted hers to triumph over mine. Yet at the same time, I knew I wouldn’t be able to last another day ignoring my own. At that very moment, I prayed she wouldn’t find out about my intentions.

Once again, I nodded and said a simple, “Sure.” We trotted towards the door, with me leading her out, and left the cottage. As we walked away from the house, I did something I never did before. Something that I would never have thought I was capable of before.

I turned back. I looked at the cottage and parted with it in a warmer situation that I normally would have found tormenting. I guess going back was enough to make me face my demons head on without any issues. It was also thanks to Rarity that I was able to tackle them head on. I finally no longer blame myself for what happened to Fluttershy. While saddening, there was nothing I could have done about it. But still, going to the Sugarcube Corner? Sweet Apple Acres? I felt like this was happening way too fast, and I wanted to slow down. I wasn’t allowed that breather today. She made that perfectly clear.

The walk towards Sugarcube Corner was livelier than the walk to the cottage, thanks to Rarity’s lively mood. The trip also was shorter. It didn’t take us any time to get there, and when we did, we were oddly enough greeted by the new management.

“Hiya, guys! Not often I see you twice a day, Spike. And Mrs. Rarity? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

Ah, Velvet Cake. One of the remaining members of the Cake family. The children of Pound and Pumpkin keep the bakery open and lively, refusing to let the family business die out. Their efforts were laudable, and quite rewarding. They managed to keep the business running, even without their parents monitoring them at all times. I, of course, helped with that quite frequently.

“Hi, Velvet.” I waved at her, walking towards the building. “I know you aren’t used to seeing me here more than twice a day. We’re just here to pick up some stuff for our little picnic today.”

“Ah, so a little down time with the misses?”

I blushed, and Rarity chuckled because of my discomfort.

“We’re just spending a little quality time together,” she said with a smile. “It’s been a while since we actually went out and did anything together, so I just wanted to get some fresh air and rest under the shade tree.”

Velvet smiled and nodded. “Then you’ve come to the right place then. We have plenty of things that you could take with you for your trip. Come on in! My brother should be able to handle the work while I clean up.”

Rarity curtseyed. “With pleasure, Mrs. Velvet.”

She led us into Sugarcube Corner, which had the usual customers either picking up packages or eating inside of the lobby. The cashier in question was the son of Pumpkin Cake, going by the name of Lemon. He was a spunky stallion, much like his great aunt. Sadly, that made it harder for me to come by here often.

“Hey, Spike!” He jumped over the counter and greeted me, extending his hoof to shake my claw. “It’s so unusual for you to come here more than once! Happy to see me again?”

He bore that wide, eager grin that he would always do, even more ecstatic that I was here again. I was both confused and flattered.

“You know, Lemon, he might come back a little more if you would stop acting like some schoolgirl with a crush every time he comes by,” Velvet teased.

“What? I can’t be excited about the coolest dragon on the planet coming to visit!?”

That little stroke of my ego was enough to send a warm smile on my face. Lemon sure had a way with words, which I was always grateful to hear. He was one of the reasons my days aren’t completely depressing. Until I remember the resemblance, and was reminded of my old, dear party friend.

“And he even brought one of the remaining elements with him! How can I not be happy?”

Good way to kill the mood right there, kid. I wanted to correct him, to say she is the last of the elements. I didn’t have the gall to do so, nor did I want his happy disposition to be ruined by my cynicism.

Rarity giggled. “Now now, I’m not that important.”

“Not that important? You’re a hero to Equestria!” Lemon grabbed the attention of everypony inside the lobby, most of them chuckling at his unprofessionalism. Velvet was flushed in embarrassment. Rarity and I couldn’t help but smile at the endearing colt. He walked up to Rarity and grabbed her hoof, kissing it. This made my grin shrink. Who gave him the permission he casually walk up to my lady and kiss her hand?

And what grounds do I get to call her my lady?

“Oh, how charming,” Rarity said.

“How, barf inducing!” Velvet stuck her tongue out, feigning sickness. “You’re going to make all of our customers sick one day with your flamboyant actions, then how will we keep the income rolling?”

“Make them sick?” Lemon laughed and trotted towards his sister, putting his hoof around her shoulders. “I be these customers enjoy my ‘flamboyant nature’ because I don’t act like such a sourpuss all the time!” He grabbed Velvet’s mouth with his front hooves and stretched them out, forcing a smile to form on her face. “It’s Ms. Grumpy Wump here that’s gonna scare away all the customers. Come on! Put on a smile!”

Rarity watched with wide, amused eyes. “My, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You sure do resemble—”

I froze up, tense as ever. I wanted to tell her, No, don’t say it! I can’t take that kind of memory right now. Please stop! Please…. stop…

“I get that sometimes,” Lemon interrupted, trotting in place. “I don’t know if I need a reminder of a pretty rad pony that influenced my behavior, isn’t that right, Spike?”

This is one of the reasons I like Lemon. While he might be eccentric and energetic, he can read emotions like no other. I’m glad too. Though thinking about it now, hearing her name might not have been as bad. It mainly hurt because I remembered how hurt she was. She had to watch every one of her friends die before her. The party was ending. Things were becoming still, and the depression drove her to the brink of despair.

When her final hour came, she tried to smile. But it was forced, and hopeless. I think she lost that ability to feel anything after our friends began to waste. Makes me wonder what would have happened if she was still here and not Rarity.

No, that thought shouldn’t brush my mind at the moment. Nothing depressing should. The goal is to stay happy for her. No tears, no sadness. That would have to be on my own time. Besides, I was too hungry to worry about that at the time. My stomach continued talking to me every second I didn’t request anything. I coughed and looked at Lemon, who was still prancing in place like a child hyped up on sugar.

“While I would love to chat with you guys a little longer, we’re planning on a picnic under… Sweet Apple Acres. Have anything that would be good lunch meals?”

Lemon swiftly ran towards the counter, scanning the library of pastries and food. He stuck his tongue out, brushing his hoof on the glass to find us something to eat. It didn’t take him too long to look up at us with wide eyes, and a smile as wide and pearly as ever.

“Oh, we have some freshly baked crullers for you guys, as well as some nice sandwiches if you want any! What does the Mrs. like? Does she like hard? Soft? I bet she’s a hard candy fanatic! Most of the elders I met are!”

I rubbed the back of my head, choosing my next words carefully. “While… that might be a strong assumption there, Lemon, yes... she does enjoy hard candies.”

With that, Rarity puffed her cheeks, and looked at me with malice in her eyes. I was almost certain she was messing with me, but I was too jittery to take that risk at the moment. I’ve seen her when she’s angry, and I know her well enough to know that she could still knock me down a peg, even at her age if she wanted to. Magic is something, that’s for sure. I won’t make a joke about her waning eyesight after getting hit in the face with a rock.

“Oh, than how about these chocolate candies with a strawberry center? Velvet thought it up! She’s really good when it comes to making treats!”

Velvet smiled and nodded. “Somepony in this family has to. You tend to goof off more than actually help in the kitchen.”

Lemon grabbed his chest, cringing while laughing at the same time. “Oh sister, such a low blow! I do help a ton! Sure I might eat some of the batter before we actually bake the ingredients, but didn’t I make Spike’s favorite ‘Super Triple Chocolate Chip Deluxe Cookie’?”

“I suppose you did, Lemon,” Velvet said, rolling her eyes playfully and continued attending to the customers. “I’ll give you that, at least.”

Lemon smiled, before cocking his head to the side as if he was thinking about something. “Oh yeah, that reminds me!” With that, he slammed a batch of those cookies in question on the counter. To this day, I don’t know where he pulls these things out of. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled it out of thin air, honestly. The spirit of Pinkie Pie lives on in this child.

Pinkie. I wouldn’t have been able to say her name comfortably before today. I can’t shake that feeling that I have to be merry for the sake of Rarity around others. Was that what she was trying to do? I didn’t know at the time. However, there was one thing that I did know.

Those cookies were looking extremely appetizing.

“Uh, Spike? Manners.” Rarity pointed towards my mouth, noticing that I was drooling over the delectables in front of my face. “I’m glad that you are eager to fill that chubby little tummy of yours, but you have to keep some decency about you, darling!”

She was right. Saliva was pooling down my lips uncontrollably. Strange how this had to happen now, with Rarity in my presence. She really did have that effect on me. I wiped my mouth quickly to avoid further embarrassment and cleared my throat.

“So, how much will those… delectable treats cost?”

“Oh, they’re free!”

“Heh, cutting into my pockets, huh? Well, I guess that’s fair. You did work hard on—” I paused before reaching into my pockets, confusion brushing my face. “Wait, what did you say?”

“I don’t think too many people have the stomach that you do! Ponies would complain about getting a ‘heart attack’ eating these, if you could believe that! Also, you’re my favorite customer here, so I don’t mind giving you some of my special cookies for free!”

“Well, that’s nice of you,” Rarity said. “Though, I wouldn’t do that too often. Don’t want him to get the impression that you’re trying to imply he’s tubby.”

Rarity had already implied that, but I didn’t say anything against her assumption. She reached into her small bag again and tried to take out some bits to pay for whatever she was going to order. I was going to say something against this, but she glanced at me, confirming her determination to pay for this instead of me.

“I would like a few of those candies you were talking about, along with several sliced sandwiches if you don’t mind. Extra daffodils on about five of them.”

“Would you like anything to drink with that, too? Maybe a pitcher of lemonade?”

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t think that will be necessary. What do you think, Spike?”

Why was she asking me? Was she looking for some kind of confirmation for her choice? It made me question it a bit, but I knew one thing. They made some really delicious beverages, though that’s not surprising seeing that we were in Sugarcube Corner.

“Actually, don’t you think that we might be a little parched after eating? I think it would be safe for us to have at least something to drink.”

She looked at me pensively, tapping her chin, and remained stoic. It made me nervous, and a lump formed in my throat. I had no idea if she was actually pondering on my idea or questioning it. I also didn’t know why I was so on edge about her looking at me after I responded to her truthfully.

“I suppose you’re right, Spike. I wouldn’t want to be thirsty after eating.” She smiled and pulled out several more bits, making me feel all the more guilty for suggesting it. “This should cover it, right?”

He counted the bits, flipping back the extra money perfectly into her bag. I could tell that she was impressed by this performance. I was too when he first pulled it off. His aim is near perfect. His enthusiasm, was quite soothing.

“And now, this should be enough! Be right back!” He zipped off into the back room, disappearing from our vision. It didn’t take too long for him to return, but he wasn’t behind the counter like before. He was right behind us, smiling widely. I always wanted to question how he could do that. I never did due to how pointless I knew it would be.

“Here you go!” he exclaimed, basket dangling in his mouth. “A basket full of fun and yum! All for you and Mrs. Rarity!”

I grabbed the basket and nodded to him. “Thanks for that, Lemon.”

He bounced around. “No! Thank you for showing up more than once today! Please, don’t make this a rare occasion!”

Rarity looked at me, crossing her legs and smiling slyly. “Yeah, Spikey Wikey. Don’t leave the poor kid’s request unanswered.” Both of them gave off a pathetic face that made my heart sink, and Velvet’s head shake. What kind of heartless dragon would I be to say no, especially to faces like those?

“Only if you have those cookies waiting for me every afternoon,” I said.

“Deal!” With that, he bounced back behind the counter, waving towards us. “See you two soon!”

Velvet led us out of the door, smiling softly. “Please do come by more often, Spike. Despite how annoying Lemon can be, I do agree that you shouldn’t make this a rare occasion. You’re practically family to us. Without your help, we would have been able to keep our grandparents business afloat.”

Every time they thanked me for that, I felt warmer inside. I wouldn’t let such a memorable place fall. I couldn’t do that to my friends. That sense of pride alone kept me coming back to see how they were doing, and with my fear beginning to wane more and more, I started to feel like I could make more frequent visits. Maybe, visit as someone other than a customer.

“Of course,” I told her, winking. “I have to keep you sane somehow. I know how your brother can be.”

She laughed, holding her chest with her front hoof. “You don’t know the half of it!” She turned towards the door, looking back at us one final time before entering the shop again. The door closed, and the two siblings continued on with their life.

It’s amazing how fast they could adapt to losing a loved one, or how long it took me to get over mine. Even Rarity seemed to be doing better than I was. I was ashamed of that weakness.

“Oh, I can’t wait to get off of these old hooves,” Rarity said, shaking her front hoof. “Shall we move on?”

“Whatever you wish, my lady.” I walked by her side, leading her to my next emotional challenge. Sweet Apple Acres was still as beautiful as ever, but the memories still haunted me. However, I needed to do this. For both me and Rarity. My dear friend, Applejack. It’s been a while since I visited your burial ground.

True Feelings

It has been a while since I journeyed to Sweet Apple Acres. In fact, I purposely avoided crossing this path, in hopes that I would avoid further depression. Sugarcube Corner and the cottage were the only places that I had to go to. I never had any agenda with Sweet Apple Acres. So when I had to bury my friend under the lone tree isolated far from the barn, I decided not to visit. Because of that, I never saw the place progressed. I was about to find out today.

I walked alongside Rarity as she scanned the trees.

“No, not that one,” she said aloud, pointing to each one she declined. “No, I don’t think that one will do either. Hmm, how about this one? No…” We continued walking, the breeze gently brushing against our faces. The scent of apples was ripe in the air, and the blossoms fluttering softly in the wind. I suggested several trees as well, hoping that I could find a place for her to rest alongside with me. Most of the trees failed to interest her, and we travelled closer to the barn. In the back of my mind, I wished to stay as far away from the farm as possible. I didn’t to meet whoever had management over it now, I just wanted to stay away from it.

Fortunately, she stopped in front of a tall, leafy one, smiling with satisfaction.

“This one should do nicely,” she said, walking towards it. She leaned against the tree, sighing in satisfaction. “Yes, this is nice.” She scooted over, eyed me, and patted the grass with a warm smile. “Well, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to sit down and enjoy the meal we bought?”

I didn’t say another word, and joined her under the tree. I slowly descended to the ground, resting on the soft, firm grass. I opened the basket, pulling out the blanket that was gifted inside and placing the trays of food on it. I organized the sandwiches and snacks so it would be easier for her to pinpoint where they were.

Then I looked up at the tree, expecting something to be there. Of course, it wasn’t, but I always liked to look anyway, to make sure that Rarity was safe. Fortunately, Rarity picked one of the few trees that didn’t bear fruit. I sighed in relief, happy with the fact that her life wasn’t threatened by the falling fruit above.

“Okay Rarity, what would you like to eat?” I asked, grabbing my portion beforehand. Even the gentlest of drakes tend to get greedy when it comes to food, and I sure wasn’t going to be shortchanged on that. It would have been a disservice to my gut.

“Well, a few of those sandwiches will do,” she said. “And if you don’t mind, I wouldn’t mind trying some of those ‘special cookies’ that Lemon Cake makes for you. But it doesn’t have to be much. I’m not that hungry.”

I looked at the batch of cookies. He really went all out this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire kitchen was cleared out just to make me these delectable snacks. I had way too many actually. It wouldn’t be anything to share these with Rarity. Even if there weren’t enough, I would probably give her my last cookie. I’d regret it later, but in the moment, I would feel good about it.

I placed two miniature slices of sandwiches on a plate for her, giving her two cookies as well. I went into the box and grabbed a plastic cup, filling it with the lemonade. I pushed both the food and the beverage closer to her, witnessing a smile grace her lovely face once again.

“There you go, Madam,” I said. “I hope you enjoy your meal.”

“Oh, I know I will,” she said, picking up the sandwiches with her frail hooves. I watched her bring it up to her mouth, slowly opening her lips to bite down on it. Creepy as it may be, I really enjoyed watching her eat. For an old mare, her dentures worked like a charm. Still sharp and pearly white, lacking the wear and age that most get with age. It was as if I was studying her eating habits, very much so like…

Like…

Before I could complete my thoughts, I felt her hoof knock against my skull. It hurt a bit, like being bucked as lightly as possible. I groaned and rubbed my head, looking towards the bemused Rarity.

“Spike, you know that it’s uncouth to stare at somepony while they’re eating!” she exclaimed with a harrumph. “What on Equestria prompted you to do something so undignified?”

I had forgotten her disdain for anything uncivilized, and that going against her standards resulted with a buck in the face. When I was younger and… well… just younger, she would let this pass without much a thought. Eating things out of the trash: cute. Smelling like garbage: passable, as long as I stayed away from her and took a bath. Now, if I even glanced at a trashcan with carnal desires, she’d make sure the only trashcan I would even want to get close to is one to vomit in.

“Sorry,” was all I could say. I rested against the tree, avoiding her glance as best I could. While I waited for the awkward atmosphere to die down, I picked up the multitude of food I had at my disposal and began to eat. We sat in silence, only the wind there to break the silence, as well as the sounds of us chewing. I would every now and then try to take a glance at her, but swiftly move my head to the side before I was caught, blushing every time. After my fifth or sixth, I didn’t keep track, I finally decided to break the silence.

“Nice breeze we’re getting” I said, trying to squeeze out a conversation for the first time that day. “It was a good day to come out and picnic, wouldn’t you agree?”

I heard a light giggle, nearly faint because of the whistling wind. “Oh, but of course. It’s made even better by the fact that you’re actually attempting to talk to me today, instead of me trying to talk to you.”

I chuckled nervously. “That was really getting to you, wasn’t it?”

Rarity hummed. “Maybe a little. But I’m a grown mare, so I can deal with a child’s little tantrum.” She patted my head, causing me to puff my cheeks in agitation. She really loved pushing that button. No matter what I said or did, whenever she felt like messing with me, she would always make a quip about my size. I remained silent, turning away from her for a dramatic effect.

“Chin up there, Spikey Wikey!” she said. “I was just joking with you.”

“Mmhmm.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, I totally do. I just wish I had the size so you wouldn’t be able to make those jokes as easily. Can’t make fun of a big dragon, can you?”

Rarity pushed her mane to the side, smiling devilishly. “Oh please. Even if you were a towering beast, I still could take you down a peg. Besides, we all know that the bigger they are, the easier they are to embarrass.”

“Um, Rarity, I think the expression is ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’?”

Her hoof wavered slowly. “I never liked the saying. I like mine better.”

“Whatever you say, Rarity.” I leaned back, blowing a puff of smoke in satisfaction. Most of the food was gone, mainly because I didn’t keep track of the sandwiches involved. With a sigh of content, I looked back at Rarity and gave a gleaming smile. It was probably the first sincere smile that I’ve given to her all day.

So it tore me a bit when she didn’t return that smile. For some reason, she had a more serious face, staring out towards the horizon. It was a little disheartening. I finally had the urge to smile, to show that I was happy, and there she was, looking quite unhappy herself. I couldn’t have that.

“Rarity, are you okay?” I asked. There was no answer. She just sat there, staring towards the barn. The thought of comforting her arose in my mind, but I didn’t know if I dared attempt it. My mind was rushing with thoughts, questioning every movement I decided to take. However, my body reacted differently. I moved closer to her, and I put my hands on her back.

She looked at me, her lips twitching upwards. I sighed in relief, relieved that I didn’t make the wrong move. She turned her head away from me, yet again.

“You miss her, don’t you?”

My eyes widened, and my heart began to pump hard. Such a drastic turn from a pleasant conversation, one I simply dreaded.

“Um, yeah. I do.”

“I can tell. You miss them all, don’t you?”

There was no point in hiding that fact. It wasn’t like I was doing it particularly well anyway. “Yes.”

“I don’t blame you, Spike. I often think about them myself. I could tell how distraught you were when I suggested going there, yet you powered through it anyway. I’m surprised that you were so accepting in coming here.”

It took me a moment to get a complete grasp of myself. The ball of emotions coiled in my heart, threatening to escape once again! Couldn’t do that to her. Instead, I decided to give her a reassuring grin and said, “Well, I couldn’t let a lady’s wishes go unanswered, could I?”

Rarity sighed somberly. “But that’s just the thing, darling. You’ve done nothing but answer my wishes. No matter what I ask of you, you do it without hesitation. I don’t even believe a single no has escaped your lips when I asked you to do something.”

I wanted to correct her, but she spoke the truth. Never once today did I ever tell her no, despite how much I would have liked to. I just did what she wanted, because… well, that reasoning was still swimming in my head. Whatever drove me to doing her bidding without question was beyond me. Other than making her happy, I was just as confused about how I felt as she was curious.

“Spike, I must confess, that this wasn’t just a normal friendly outing, like I said it was. I…” She paused, choking on her words before continuing. “I feel as if I have been taking advantage of you.”

I was shocked. How could she possibly think such a horrid thing? She could never do that to me, and I needed to tell her that. “Rarity, stop that! You know you aren’t taking advantage of—”

“No, Spike. I need you to hear this.” I silenced myself when I saw those distraught eyes. “I should have been upfront with you, and considered your feelings before asking you to do this. This is just as painful to you as it is to me, and I never took that into account.” She began to chuckle in an unsettling way. “It’s funny. The years pass and I’m still as selfish as ever.”

Her words were like needles to the heart. It was difficult enough not crying just being around this atmosphere, but for her to say what she said did even more to me than I could imagine. I decided to comfort her, to try to make her feel less guilty about the situation.

I leaned into her, caressing her mane. “You needed this more than me. They meant the world to you, and I would never want to prevent you from seeing them again.”

She smiled at me, as if she was relieved that I accepted her apology. I should have been the one to apologize to her. If I would have attempted to spend more time with her, rejoicing in the memories of our good friends, instead of trying to hide from them, this wouldn’t have been an issue. I continued petting her hair, hoping that she would relax. From her low hums, it was working.

“I’m glad I got a chance to spend this time with you, Spikey Wikey.”

My heart began to race. What could she have possibly meant by that? Were my expectations rising too high? Maybe I was getting excited over nothing, but why was I getting excited in the first place?

“W-what makes you say that, Rarity?” I asked.

“It’s just nice to be out with a friend, visiting the remaining memories of old. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me. It means the world to me to be able to see my friends again. I hold these memories fondly. I don’t want to forget like—”

And then the silence kicked in again. Both of us knew where it was leading. It was already enough that we were at her burial ground, but to think about her last moments like that, it was tough. We always thought that Applejack would have been the most stable one out of all of us. She remained healthy and headstrong, even after some of our friends began to pass. We were almost certain that she would maintain a sense of sanity.

She ended up forgetting about us in her later years. As her hips began to grow weaker, we tried to help her get around the farm easy. Every time we tried, she would throw things at us, tell us to get off her property before she gets the shovel and beats us with it. She became senile, and secluded. The last time I ever got to see her face to face afterwards was to pick up her casket. If only we could have ended on better terms.

But there was no point in telling her that. She needed comfort and happiness, not my own agony. To lighten up the mood, I smiled at her and began to chuckle. “Well, even to her grave, she sure did know how to buck some heads. Still kept her physical strength with her.”

Rarity giggled. “Yeah, she sure did know how to keep her energy, even till her last moments. Just as lively as ever. A little ornery for my taste, but still lively.”

“Not as lively as you, Rarity.”

I froze, wondering if what had escaped my mouth was good or bad. I was expecting the worse from the situation. Instead, she rested against me, rubbing her chin against my shoulders.

“You flatter me way too much, you know that, Spikey Poo?”

There was no hiding it this time. My face went full red, from both her honeyed words and her soft touch. I tried to divert my gaze from her, but curiosity, and the enjoyment of just watching her prompted me to look directly at her. What I saw didn’t help alleviate the blush. It only enhanced it.

I don’t know what was so special about my words, but they had enough effect on her for her cheeks to become rosy as well. It was a comforting sight to say the least. I felt loose, and confident. I felt…

Like everything was starting to become clear. My confusion was starting to fade away, and my true feelings began to sprout. It was just a matter of me saying it to her. Should I? She was blushing, but she could have just been amused. Girls blush when a guy amuses them, right? No mutual attraction is needed. But then why would she have blushed if I didn’t attract in a way?

All these and more started pounding inside my head, with no clear thought being able to form. I sighed. There was only one way to find out, and I wanted to clear up any confusion I might have had.

I needed to tell her.

“I feel like such an idiot.” Great way to start out, I suppose. I smiled, looking up at the rustling leaves on the tree. “It took me all these years to finally figure it out, to finally come to terms with it. I’m lucky to have somepony like you in my life, Rarity. Every time I talk to you, I feel all warm, and fulfilled. You’re the reason I’ve been able to keep sane throughout these long, seventy years. You’re…. simply beautiful, both inside and out. I know it sounds like I’m rambling now. You’ve probably heard the same thing over and over, but it’s true. I haven’t grown out of my crush from when I was younger. That has stayed, and it grew into something else.”

I took a deep breath. I was actually going to do it. My heart was beating against my chest, threatening to escape. I already poured most of my feelings out for her. There was no going back.

“Rarity, I—”

My confession was halted by a faint yet audible noise. I looked over towards Rarity, shaking my head and chuckling. I should have known this would have happened.

“She fell asleep on me.” I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. There goes all those heartfelt words to her. All unheard, and all a waste of breath.

Still, I felt a little relieved. What if I came off a little strong? What if these feelings weren’t truly there? This gave me time to think about this more thoroughly. I wondered if she heard anything I said, as if it actually mattered. Whatever the case might have been, I felt content, and safe, close to the one I cared for.

I sat there, allowing Rarity to rest on me while she slept. It was interesting, to say the least, but it was calming. Her breath was soft and angelic, seemingly flowing with the wind itself. Her snores were light, yet melodic, like a symphony used to lull a child to sleep. But what interested me the most, what made me take comfort with her sleep was her chest rising and falling. I was always at peace when she did this. It was a pleasant reminder that she was still with me, that I wasn’t alone. It might be odd to take comfort in such a small thing, but as you get older, and you see the things I had to see, you often find the simpler things are the better.

Eventually, sleep began taking me as well. I could sleep knowing that I would wake up next to my princess, still breathing and with me. My eyes began to close, and I began to drift into Luna’s lofty realm. I told myself just a little nap. For maybe one hour. Then I would wake up and check on my mistress.

That “hour” soon passed, and the sky was a different pigment than it once was. The orange light was a sheer indicator of how long I had been asleep. So much for only one hour. Still, there wasn’t much to do today anyway. Just me spending an unexpected amount of quality time with Rarity, who was still leaning against me, asleep, peaceful, and still…

A little too still. My heart began to pound against my chest. I feared the worst, praying hopelessly for the best. I looked at her, trying to find signs of life. She was still warm, which gave me a sliver of hope. This hope was crushed in a matter of seconds, as I stared at her chest for several seconds. My eyes widened, my stomach dropped, and tears started to form in my eyes. I lightly muttered “No” repeatedly. It increased in tone and frequency as the finalization of the situation struck me.

Her stomach wasn’t rising or falling. The only solace I had with her being with me was gone.

“No…”

Panic and fear began to build within me.

“No…”

Everything that was worth living for came crashing down in one fell swoop. Overwhelmed with sorrow, tears began to stream down my face as I layed her on the ground, pressing against her chest in a hopeless attempt to bring her back to me.

“NO NO NO! You can’t do this to me! You can’t leave me like this!” I kept pressing against her chest, with no results. My arms began to quiver, and the motions became even faster. Nothing worked.

“Please, don’t leave me!” My cries were loud, echoing throughout the barn. I didn’t care who heard of my wails. I only cared for on pony at the time. The one I was going to lose forever. I leaned her against the tree, hoping that I could get more leverage that way. Desperation sunk in, and I tried everything I could think of.

But everything wasn’t enough. I slowly came to realize that. I leaned against her, hugging her one last time. I couldn’t do this one. I couldn’t bury her like I did the others. I wasn’t ready for her to leave me, and I sat there crying nonstop until my eyes felt like they were flooding.

“Rarity. Please… don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone. I can’t—”

Then, out of the blue, I felt something happen. I felt her legs buck as she squirmed and grunted. She slowly pried her eyes open, looking just as drowsy as she was beforehand.

“Spike, what are you doing?”

I lowered my head, exhaling sighs of relief heavier than I’ve ever done before. It was just another false alarm. She was okay, and I wasn’t alone. Though, it did make for an awkward situation. There I was, standing over Rarity, tears filling my eyes and a heartbeat so loud you could hear it from a mile away. I wasn't going to get out of answering the questions she would surely ask me.

She noticed my anguish, and rested her hoof on my cheeks.

“Spike, why are you crying? Is something bothering you?”

I wiped away the tears on my cheeks, forcing a hopeful smile. She was still with me. My fears were put to rest, for now.

“I’m sorry, Rarity,” I began, breathing heavily, “but I didn’t know what to do. I thought you had stopped breathing, and I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t want to lose you, I didn’t want to believe that you were—”

Her hooves pressed against my lips, and I stopped blabbering. My cheeks began to redden for what felt like the millionth time that day. I stared at her as she began to giggle, louder and louder.

“Spike, what on Equestria made you think you would lose me?” she asked, barely able to contain a full laughter. “I was just taking a nap. Nothing was going to happen to me. You worry yourself too much, darling!”

I was stunned, motionless and overall, quite overwhelmed. She was laughing at me. I overreacted, and she was giggling away, holding onto her stomach in a fit of laughter. In the back of my mind, I was boiling with anger. How dare she laugh at my concern? I do nothing but pour my heart and soul into her, and she laughs. I wanted to get angry. To yell and be enraged.

Instead, I joined her in her laughter. In hindsight, maybe I did overreact. This wasn’t the first time that her breathing stopped momentarily. I should have handled it a little more carefully. With that in mind, I shared a long laugh with her, leaning against the tree with her. We sat in together, riding out our laughter for several minutes. We eventually calmed down, and looked at each other with smiles on our faces.

“Yeah, I guess I was being silly,” I said.

“We’re all allowed one of those episodes, Spike,” she responded, trying to lift herself off of the ground. I stood up and helped her get on her hooves, making sure she didn’t stumble. Noticing her back was dirty and covered in grass, she did her best to shake it off. It still stuck to her backside, refusing to get off. I couldn’t help but giggle, as she desperately tried to wipe away the grime from her.

“So, my mistress has a dirty bottom,” I snickered. “You’d think somepony would be more careful to keep such a sacred area clean.”

Those obviously weren’t the right words, because what I said resulted in a buck in the gut, and a loud grunt from her.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it,” she said with seething anger. With her magic, she took the tarp from the basket and wrapped it around her, hiding her backside from the world. “Great, now I have to get cleaned up. Can’t go around looking like this, nor do I want to wear this crime against fashion all day.”

Some things never change. Only she would be that concerned about how she looked in public on a casual day. I never got tired of it. It was one of the many reasons I loved being around her. That, and I could watch her walk around in a lunch tarp for a while. That would be sweet vengeance for her laughing at my despair.

“Should I take you back home, then?” I asked. “I could always wait for you to get done with your bath.”

Rarity turned towards me with a stoic look. “Actually, I was wondering if I could use the library’s shower, if at all possible.”

At first, I was confused, but after the events from today, I figured it was still part of her session to see everypony she used to talk to. “Oh, I understand. It’s just like the other places you went! Fond memories, right?”

Rarity put a hoof against her cheeks. “Well, that’s not entirely the case, not this time at least. Though, visiting the library would be nice on its own right, I don’t want to go back to the boutique… yet.”

The confusion came streaming right back and I scratched my head, trying to get a grasp of what she wanted from me. Nothing came up however. I was shooting blanks, waiting for her to explain herself, even though I was almost positive she wouldn’t.

“I’ll talk about it later, Spike.” And there was the confirmation. She decided to leave me in ignorant bliss. “Right now, I would like to be escorted to the library. It’s starting to get late.”

That it was. Luna’s night sky was going to grace our presence at any moment. I stood by her, making sure her cover was tied down tight. Didn’t want to have her embarrassed out in public.

“Whenever my lady is ready.”

She smiled at me and turned towards the town. “Quite.”

There we were, leaving such a memorable location. No tears, no remorse, just memories. I wish they were fonder than what we could remember, but not everything has a fairytale ending. At least we still have her memories with us, even if she did forget about us.

The sun had almost completely set by the time we reached the library. The street lamps were beginning to turn on, and the children roaming around the streets were being called home. It was time for the lively streets to die out. This was perfect for me, as that meant less traffic to go through. It was pretty common for me to be knocked around by a few ponies due to my height, so the less, the merrier.

I opened up the door, inviting her into my home.

As expected, the librarian had gone. I can’t really hold that against her. She has her own business to take care of, so having her stay around the library past sunset would be ludicrous. Still, it would have been nice to have a reading companion around. She loved books almost as much as Twilight.

Twilight. It was a shock to all of us to see her go first. I suppose the stress of being a princess got to her after all. I spent years feeling guilty about that. I was by her side most of my life, and I was never able to pick up the signs of her waning health. She ran herself ragged for her people, and in turn, she gave up her livelihood and health.

However, when you’re always reminded about your friend because of where you live, you learn to forgive yourself. That or you wallow in your own misery, contemplating whether I should continue moving on. I’ve done both of those.

I closed the door behind Rarity, who trotted into the living room, looking around. It was strange. For the first time in what felt like forever, this place wasn’t so empty. No longer were the books my only company. Even if it was for a short time, I had a companion here. A friend. Someone I could trust.

“I like how well kept this place is,” she said in awe. “There isn’t any sense of disorganization here. Everything is perfectly in order. Twilight would be proud.”

“You think so?” I asked, kicking at the floorboard. “I don’t know. She might get a little upset that a loose piece of paper is lying around on the table.”

Rarity snorted. “Oh come on, Spike. She wasn’t that bad.”

I rolled my eyes, grinning from ear to ear. “You never had to live with her.”

Rarity giggled and continued on. She turned towards the bookshelf, sighing wistfully. The amount of books there never shrank. In fact, I made sure that the numbers grew. What kind of library would have outdated books? I know for a fact Twilight wouldn’t want that.

Then, I remembered. A photo album that we all shared. I figured it would be a good dose of memory for the both of us. I felt like I could open the doors to these priceless times without breaking down, finally.

“Hey, Rarity. I have something to show you before you take a shower.”

“Oh?” She turned towards me, watching as I went towards the bookshelf. I placed the album on the bottom shelf so I wouldn’t have to deal with using a ladder to see my memories. After pulling it out, I made my way towards the table, her following behind me.

“Before I do this, are you okay with going on a little nostalgia trip?”

She nodded, and I sighed. It was time to have a short refresher of what the past stored. I opened the album up, nearly regretting it on arrival. First image, was the day I hatched, and the filly holding me close to her.

“Aww, look at my cute, little Spikey Wikey,” she said, fawning over the picture. “Being taken care of by the precious little Twilight.”

“I could do without the embarrassment, thank you very much.” I continued skimming through the pages, looking at my childhood with nostalgic glances. I miss being a kid sometimes. Growing older and wiser is a pain on the mind. A child has no concept of death. No concept of loss. They just live, enjoying their lives. I wish I could share that feeling.

We continued skimming through the book. Most of them retold of happier times. Of times that were simpler. I especially took long glances at the group photo we all took nearly fifty years ago. Those days sure did go by. I kind of wish I could have them back.

We continued looking at the album for a while until Rarity decided to get up.

“Well, that was a fun trip of nostalgia, Spike, but I should really get cleaned up,” she said. “I suggest you do the same as well. Maybe even find something nice to wear.”

I cocked my head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Something nice? Aren’t we just going back to your place?”

“Yes, but there’s something special back at my place, and I want you looking your best.”

I scratched my head, still not catching what she was trying to say. She shook her head and smiled, heading towards the staircase.

“I guess I wouldn’t expect you to figure out what I’m trying to do, so I’ll go ahead and say this. Spike, I appreciate all the time that you spend with me. They are priceless moments that I will always cherish.”

I rubbed the back of my scales, smiling and blushing. “Ah, Rarity. You know you don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just doing it because I want to. You deserve to be happy, and not alone.”

“And that’s why I want to return the favor. Tonight, I’m taking care of the dinner. I want us to relax and enjoy ourselves.”

“Well, that’s kind of you, Rarity, but I really don’t want you to have to work so hard just to feed me,” I said. “I’ll take care of the meal if it means you don’t have to.”

“While that is kind of you, I never said I was going to cook.”

Suddenly, it hit me. My eyes widened, and my jaw nearly fell open. She smiled at my reaction.

“I see you’ve figured it out. I hired a pony to cater to us tonight. Let’s call it an outing, but inside.”

I nodded, smiling widely. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Now that you mention it, I do have a suit I’ve been wanting to try out, just in case something like this happened.”

“Then it’s settled.” She continued up the stairs, looking back towards me with an embracive smile. “I’m going to freshen up, and I expect you do the same when I get out. Pick a good outfit, darling!”

“Yes ma’am!” I exclaimed watching her enter my bedroom. When she was out of my site, I couldn’t help but rock back and forth with glee and eagerness.

She went out of her way to reserve a dinner date, for us. I know she didn’t say it like that, but it had to be? Why else would she have done that. I found my childish thoughts starting to return to me, and my cheeks reddened.

I had to get prepared. What would I wear? How would I impress her? What colors matched well with my scales? I hadn’t cared that much about my appearance in a long time. I haven’t felt like me for a long time.

Maybe that’s why she did this. She wanted to spark the flame that went out in my heart, and see Spike for who he was. Well she was going to see him again. He was right here, ready and willing. Time to bring back the dragon that could feel emotions. Time to enjoy my life with Rarity.

And enjoy the moments with a newfound sense of happiness. For the first time in forever, I felt whole.

“Spike! Spike! Come here, please!”

Then I heard her yell. What could have possibly gone wrong? Whatever it was, it was a cry of distraught, and I rushed up the stairs to see what was going on. I pushed the door open, ignoring all logic of her potentially being exposed in order to come to her aid.

I immediately regretted doing that. When I walked in, she looked at a glass filled with greenish brown powder. She read the note that was on it, aloud so I could hear it.

“Freezing Heart Tonic?” she began, her voice nearly cracking. “When the day my mistress leaves, I’ll join her, too. I will fall asleep, the same way she does. A frozen heart, still and quiet. Painless and peaceful. I… I will not look forward to that day, but I refuse to be alone for thousands of miserable years. I refuse…”

I stood frozen, heart dropping and misery returning to me. Not because she found the jar, but her reaction to it. She looked disappointed, ashamed of the idea. She held it out with her weak, flickering magic, her hoof close to her mouth in disbelief.

“Spike, what is this? What is this?!”

I stood silent, staring away from her. Inside of my mind, I was berating myself for ever leaving it around for her to easily find.

So much for a happy, little dinner.

Finally At Peace

We sat at the table in the boutique quietly with the lit candle illuminating the house. I’m such an idiot, now that I think about it. She had this all planned out. Nice music, a warm, inviting candlelit dinner between friends, with only the finest cuisine set out for us. This normally would be a happy, ceremonious occasion.

But of course, I had to ruin it. When she found that jar, I already knew what the rest of the day would turn out like. Just questions, and long, awkward silences. She was giving me the latter really well. We had already ordered our meals at the time, and all we had to accompany us were the records playing. Soft tunes to fit the soft atmosphere, even if it was as cold as ice.

I tried to open my mouth to say something, but words failed me. What could I say. She found what I feared others finding the most. My exit from this lonely life. To this day, I wonder what she did with it. She told me to wait downstairs while she “handled the problem”, and ever since, we haven’t spoken of it.

But I knew it would come up that night. Something like that doesn’t go untouched for too long. I was just sitting there, waiting for the inevitable to happen. Rarity obviously knew I was nervous. She kept a structured expression, but her looks said everything. I couldn’t look at her, not if it meant gazing into her saddened, and disappointed eyes.

The chef wheeled in our two dishes on a cart. He took off his chef’s hat and levitated the silver domed plates in front of us.

“Ma’am. Sir. Your meals are ready.” He started with Rarity, lifting the top from the dish, showing a nice salad with broccoli, chick peas, blue cheese crumbles, and large wedges of tomatoes, dressed with thin slices of celery. “I present to you, your salade keuken, made with the finest fresh vegetables in Equestria. I hope you enjoy, Ma’am.”

Rarity placed a napkin on her lap, nodding to the chef. “Thank you, sir. I’m sure I will.”

“And for you, my good dragon, I would like to present something a little different. Hopefully you enjoy it.” He pulled the lid off of my dish, revealing two desert-like pastries filled with spinach, cilantro, rubies, and emeralds, topped with amethyst and smothered with melted cheese. “I like to call this one, désir de diamant crepe. It took some time to get the recipe down pat.”

“I bet you did an excellent job,” I said, trying to keep my eyes distant from Rarity. He bowed a little and wheeled the cart away. The dinner itself was looking fantastic. I wouldn’t have expected any less from Rarity. I prayed that this was what I needed to prevent the awkwardness from growing.

“You sure do know how to pick them,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’ve never seen a… cripe?... as good as this before. Though I’m sure your salad will taste even better, huh Rarity?”

“We’ll see.”

Her answer was short and blunt, but just as venomous as her silence. She went back to eating her meal in silence, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

It was official. I screwed up. I hurt her more than I was ever hurt before, all because I didn’t hide the jar. I always keep it by my side, just in case I wanted to end it. When the loneliness became too much, I could have my sanctuary. I never let Zecora know what I needed the herbs for. The only thing that she said to me about it was to be careful with it. The plant itself is lethal. All the more reason to take it.

All I needed was a bowl, a crusher, and some water to make it settle. After gulping the content down, it would take effect almost immediately, putting me to sleep and working its magic so I wouldn’t wake up. I still don’t know if her finding it was a blessing or a curse yet, but in the moment, I couldn’t feel scummier.

I attempted to eat the meal to not offend her or the chef, though that was a task on its own right, given the mood I was in. Even with the emptiness in my stomach, the flavor of my dinner, the one I still can’t pronounce, was flawless. My mouth danced with joy. The taste was exquisite, and unlike anything I’ve ever tasted before. It would have tasted better if Rarity was enjoying herself more. In fact, every time I looked up, I saw her slowly eating away at her salad, looking up at me occasionally. She sure did know how to make a guy feel nervous. I wanted to head tail and run, but with no leeway to do so, there was no chance in hell it was going to happen. Besides, I couldn’t leave her there, without any closure of the situation.

The silence continued until we finished our meals, where she rang the table bell to signal the chef. In mere moments, he walked into the dining room, bowing to us once again.

“I take it you two are finished with your meal,” he said, grabbing both of our plates. “Your glasses are also empty. Do you want me to refill them?”

I looked at Rarity, then back at the chef, shaking my head. “I don’t need anymore, thanks,” I said.

“I, however, wouldn’t mind another glass of wine.”

I can’t say I was too surprised. I would imagine the situation at hand would give her more reason to drink. Still, normally she wouldn’t request more than one glassful. She was really drilling how much I hurt her in my skull. I would never live this one down.

“Yes Ma’am,” the chef said, pouring the blood red liquid into her cup. She didn’t take any time to drink it down. Nearly half of her glass was already gone, and even more began to travel down her throat. I was the cause of this. The perfect dinner was ruined once again by my lack of foresight.

“I hate to inform you two that your deserts will be delayed a little,” the chef explained. “I seemed to have miscalculated the amount of vanilla needed to make your crème brulee. If you two don’t mind the wait, this will take a little over forty minutes to get sorted out.

“That’s fine,” Rarity said, scooting her chair out. “We can wait. I had something planned during this time anyway.” She pushed her seat back up and looked directly towards me, flaring her nose a little. “I shouldn’t offer this after the last incident, but I don’t like things going against a schedule. So, would you care to dance with me for a while?”

After all that emotional stress I put her through, she still wanted to dance with me? I couldn’t believe it, and I didn’t deserve it. But she also didn’t deserve to be left empty hooved like that. I got out of my seat and walked towards her. I was still wary of her gaze, but I had to embrace it.

“Anything for you, Rarity,” I said, bowing politely to her. I doubted this would do much to alleviate her agitation at me, and from what I saw, I was correct. She still had that stern look on her face. Fortunately, it seemed to have softened over time, so there was that. She walked towards her collection of records, skimming through them for the right tunes. She amassed a great collection of them, thanks to her sisters business. There was enough music to keep going for hours on end. Though I had a sinking feeling this wouldn’t last longer than several minutes with both of our moods.

When Rarity found what she wanted, she set it on the phonograph and set the needle over it. Soon enough, the music began playing. It was soft, wistful, and carefree, something to listen to be at peace with something.

As the music played, I extended my claw towards her. “Shall we dance?”

She reached out with her front hoof, prompting me to grab hold. Still, not a word was spoken. Even with the music, the silence was painful. I carefully put my free hand around her sides, and began to move with the rhythm of the song.

Step by step. A torturous dance to a slow tune. Our dance was almost devoid of soul and energy, the tension overriding the possible fun we could be happy. It was miserable. I couldn’t bear doing this all night with her. I needed to cut this silence.

“I’m so sorry,” was the first thing that I could think to say. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be, but please.”

Rarity sighed, practically leading the dance. I was surprised I was able to keep up with her. It was bad enough that I wasn’t the most skilled dancer out of the bunch, but to also be emotionally drained during. The odds weren’t in my favor. Yet I still kept up with her rhythm, holding onto her.

“Spike, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed in you.” she began, causing my throat to dry out in shame. “And I’m mainly upset about you wanting to hurt yourself like that. Why haven’t you ever talked to me about it?”

I shifted my eyes from her. “I didn’t want you to worry about it. You weren’t supposed to know.”

“But why, Spike? You have so much life ahead of you. What would make you want to something like that to yourself?”

I didn’t answer. It was taking so much energy to prevent breaking down then and there. She couldn’t know my true intentions. She didn’t deserve to carry those burdens with her. These were my problems, and mine alone.

So why was I beginning to quiver? Why were my eyes threatening to tear up, and my claws clenching against her dress? Why did I need closure, comfort?

“Answer me, Spike.”

It was because she wanted to listen. There was no way of hiding this anymore. Everything about me was out in the open with her. Still, I wanted to be strong. I needed to do this calmly and maturely. There was no more room for screwing up. I had to be a dragon. I had to be tough.

I looked up at her, and I could see her pain painted on her face. Tears were flowing down my face, and I was biting down on my lips. I’ve never cried so hard in my life before, nor did I let anyone see me during these episodes. But there I was, a broken dragon burying his face into the only mare left in his life.

“I don’t want to be alone!” I cried out, nearly drowning out the music. “I can’t… I can’t live thousands of years by myself. It’s been eating away at me for years! I’ve lost my friends, one by one, and I’m going to lose you, too. I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. I want…”

I froze, nearly hyperventilating through my words.

“I want to die with you. So I don’t have to feel alone. So I can rest alongside the rest of you. I can’t deal with this forever, Rarity. I can’t.”

I buried my face deeper into her, somehow managing to keep the dance going. I was a wreck. A sobbing, miserable existence that couldn’t live with himself if my friends. That was apparent now, and she finally saw all my fears spill out. I expected nothing but ridicule for these thoughts. I would have deserved them.

I felt a hoof stroke the top of my spines. My crying began to silence as her soft hoof rubbed my scalp repeatedly.

“Oh, Spike, you really shouldn’t hold all of these emotions in. It’s unhealthy for you.” She didn’t respond to me the way I had expected her to. Her voice was calm and soothing. “You’ve been sad for a long time, haven’t you?”

I looked up and nodded.

“I can tell. I hate seeing such a close friend so depressed. I only wish you didn’t hide this from me for so long. You know you don’t have to go through this alone.”

“But, I will one day.” I said.

“But one day hasn’t come yet. I’m not going anywhere, Spike. I’m still alive and kicking, you know?”

If only I could bring myself to believe that. I knew she was going to leave me. It was just a matter of time before her age starts to wear her down.

“And even when I’m gone, you still have so much to look forward to.”

“Like what?”

“Well, you can learn so much during your long life. You could help so many ponies during your long life, and offer more than we could in our short lives. There is so much potential left in you. Too much for you to throw it away with that nasty herb you were going to use.”

“But, I’ll be alone.”

Rarity shook her head, stepping from side to side. The music still played, on and on, without a visible end. Then again, the moment seemed still, as if Luna had stopped time just for this moment. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised. The princesses always did tease me when it came down to Rarity.

“No you won’t,” she refuted. “What about Lemon and Velvet Cake? They seem to take a liking to you, especially Lemon.”

I never really thought about that until that point. My frown began to melt slightly, showing a face of clarity. “Yeah, Lemon sure is the eccentric one. Don’t know what the kid actually sees in me.”

“I know what he sees in you,” Rarity said, smiling at me. I swear those things are contagious, because I couldn't help but smile a little myself, even if it was followed by reddened cheeks. “He sees what I see: a kind hearted dragon who is willing to put others needs before his own, who would sacrifice his own time to assist those who need it. You’re also a very loyal young dragon. Why else would you have made sure both the library and Fluttershy’s cottage stayed in tip top shape?”

“Well, I suppose you’re right.”

“Also, don’t you think that Luna and Celestia would be a little saddened if you decided to end your life prematurely? You still do talk to them, don’t you?”

I didn’t even consider my adoptive mother. At that moment, I felt like scum for ever considering such an atrocious act. But she was right. Mom would be upset if I decided to quit instead of continuing onward. It was the one thing she always told me when I lost Twilight. You have to keep moving forward. You will lose some of the ones you love due to your lifespan, but you have to live on. If not for yourself, for them. Be happy for your friends. Man, if Mom found those herbs, it would possibly be worse than what I experienced with Rarity.

“Yes, I do,” I answered. “I never did consider them though.”

“Well you should. They’re just as much family as any of us were. You shouldn’t forget that.”

I looked up at her, releasing a hand from her side to wipe the tears from my face. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You were scared, Spikey Wikey. That’s understandable. Being the only species to live that long must do a number on your mental health. But bottling it up like that isn’t smart.”

“I know.”

We continued dancing, under the pale moonlight. Would the song ever end? In the moment, I hoped it wouldn’t.

“From now on, I want you to be completely honest with me. I can’t bear to see you hurt like that. You mean too much to me.”

I felt my heart pound. I wouldn’t be surprised if she felt it, too. I always knew that I was a good friend to her. That was clear to anyone who saw us. However, there was something about her words, the urgency and importance of them. They meant more than mere compliments.

“Rarity…”

The music finally stopped. It was all too soon. Rarity released me from her grasp and walked towards her phonograph.

“Hmm. I guess I didn’t get the right one,” Rarity said. “I forgot I had a sample disk thanks to Sweetie Belle.” Then, she stood still, silent. I was worried that she was going to start reminiscing about her sister, being brought into tears.

“Oh, I got it!” she exclaimed, magic glowing ever so bright while she lifted up another record. “There’s a song on here that me and my husband used to dance to all the time. It is one of my favorite songs.”

I smiled, nodding in agreement. “She was a very talented mare.”

“She truly was.” She placed the record onto the phonograph, turning the needle on it. Rarity then turned towards me, beckoning me to come closer. “Now, shall we do this proper?”

What a mare, that Rarity was. Even in my darkest hours, she knew exactly what to do to make me tick. I gave a warm smile, and walked closer to her. “Why of course. Let’s make this dance one to remember.”

I had every intent on doing so. The song that we were dancing to now was upbeat yet slow at the same time. The humming in the background was soothing, but oddly lively. If Rarity wasn’t leading, I’d honestly be lost to how I was supposed to move around. And then, there was Sweetie Belle’s voice, and the lyrics she sang.

I do not care about tomorrow.

I only care about this moment with you here.

I will always hold you dear.

These lyrics, they seemed like the perfect song for a couple. So why was she playing it around me? And why was I so at peace with it?

I care little about the future.

I just want to spend my time with you tonight.

Under the moonlight.

As we danced together, I stared into her eyes. They were softer, and more radiant than I remembered. Something about her lavender pools sent my heart skipping. Maybe it was the glow of the moon that brought out her lovely figure. Maybe it was the music. It’s really easy for music to bring out emotions and feelings. But one thing was clear. My feelings were starting to come full circle. My eyes were wide, and my cheeks tinted with red. I finally realized it.

I didn’t just adore her. I loved her.

Just hold me close, and hold on tight.

We’ll dance together throughout the night.

The time means nothing when I am here with you.

We’ll make the night eternal on our own.

So do not worry about the end.

We’ll make the best of every second that we spend.

Our time together is eternal as the stars.

So stay with me and my eternal glow.

We continued dancing throughout the song, and then more as each one ended. She was my eternal glow, and I would dance the night away with her. That’s how I viewed it. There was no point in worrying about tomorrow. What was done today is all the more important.

We held each other, dancing with each other in a loving embrace, at least I was. I was just careful to not do anything that I would regret. I already did that enough today.

“Ahem!” The chef’s cough caught our attention. I had nearly forgotten that he was even in the boutique. “Ma’am. Sir. It might have taken awhile, but I have finally finished your desert.”

Rarity let go of me and smiled, trotting towards the table. “Well, we might as well finish what we started, darling,” she said to me. “I’m kind of exhausted to be honest.”

I followed her towards the table, noticing that there was only one of the deserts available. I scratched my head, curious to why there was only one.

“Um, did you run out of ingredients?” I asked. “There’s only one, and I can’t just eat her desert.”

Rarity giggled, covering her mouth with her front hoof. “Oh Spike. You know, there is a thing called sharing, silly.”

“S-sharing?” I gulped loudly, which amused the chef as well as Rarity. “So, you want me to eat this with you?”

“Oh come now, Spike. You’re way too young to be suffering from bad hearing.” I flustered as she winked at me. I had to look away briefly to avoid embarrassing myself completely. What a mess I was. It’s no wonder she didn’t fall for a fool like me.

“Well, if you two are ready, I will light the crème brulee.” He reached into his shirt pocket, digging around. His face contorted into that of annoyance rather quickly. He pulled his hoof out and sighed.

“I’m sorry you two, but I cannot light the crème brulee. I can always make something else to compensate for my foolish mistake.”

I held out my claw, grinning smugly. “Or, I can take care of it.” He raised his eyebrow as I leaned over the table. Rarity smiled with giddy delight, already knowing what I was going to do. “Now, stand back. I don’t want you to get burned.”

He did as he was instructed, and I stretched out, warming up for the display. Taking a deep breath, I stood focused and released flames from my mouth. They were much wider and brighter than before. I like to believe that I mastered the art. Once my flames hovered over the dish, flames began covering the top layer. I wasn’t sure if I did what I overdid it at that point, but from the look of both Rarity and the chef, I did my job perfectly. I even received a clap from Rarity, in which I humbly bowed.

“Well, then that is settled,” the chef said, chuckling aloud. “I appreciate it, sir. Today is not my best day.”

I waved it off. “We all have those days. It’s not a big deal at all.”

We waited for the flames to die down before sharing our desert with each other. Finally, the dinner I wanted to share with her was finally happening. It was a shame it had to wait all the way to desert, but at least things started shifting in a pleasant manner. We shared jokes, I got tapped on the nose for doing impolite things with my portion of the desert, and above all else, we were having fun. I was happy. Genuine, pure happiness.

Thirty minutes passed, and the chef took up the remains. He cleaned the silverware and then returned with a black book in his hoof.

“Thank you for your service,” he said, opening the book and pulling out the receipt. “The collective total for tonight’s meal will be 140 bits.”

I saw Rarity reach into her purse, ready to pay for the meal again. I held my claw out, refusing to let that happen yet again.

“Rarity, I will take care of this one,” I said, reaching into my pockets. “You’ve already taken care of enough meals today.”

“Spike, I—”

“Ah ah ah! It’s impolite to refuse a gentleman offer for a big meal such as this.”

Rarity stood still, shaking her head with a smile. Finally, I could pull that card on her, and it worked effectively. I wanted to do something nice for her today. She deserved it after all the crap I gave her.

I pulled out a small sack. I never left the library without at least 100 bits on hand. Fortunately, I took the time to add more just in case something like this would come up. I guess it was just hopeful wishes turned into luck. I counted the bits out, then handed him the correct amount in the sack. “There you go. 150 bits. Keep the ten extra.”

The chef bowed. “Thank you for your kind service, and may Celestia bless you.”

I waited for him to leave before closing the door, turning towards Rarity with a smile. Now that the guest was gone, she let go of her mannerly attitude and began to yawn. Her eyes seemed to be fighting her, and I chuckled.

“Well, looks like somepony is a little tired,” I taunted.

Rarity rubbed her eyes and stuck a tongue out at me. “So? It’s late and I have been up all day. I deserve to be ti—”

She couldn’t complete her sentence before her yawns interrupted her. I walked by her side, making sure she didn’t fall down.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Rarity. If you’re ready to go to sleep, I’ll make sure you’re all warm and tucked.”

“Oh, aren’t you sweet.”

I walked by her side, leading her up the stairs and towards her room. I waited outside for her to change into her night gown, using the time to rethink the day over.

What an interesting one it was. I expected the same, redundant thing to happen today, but instead, I was sent on a ride, a ride I’m glad I took. Thanks to her, I was able to appreciate things a little more. My own life especially.

“Spike, it’s safe to come in now.”

I opened the door, walking into her room. She had her white gown on, already lying in bed, waiting for me to finish the job. It wasn’t a required job, but I felt that a little friendly comfort wouldn’t be bad for her. I walked alongside the bed, taking the sheets and covering her body. She rustled under the sheets, smiling widely at me.

“So, did you have fun today?” she asked in a drowsy fashion. I sat on the edge of the bed, smiling back at her.

“You know what? I actually did,” I answered. “I truly did.”

She smiled. “Good. Can’t have you being upset like you’ve been lately.” She sighed, half closing her eyes. I watched as I saw her drift, loving every moment of it. “Sorry if I can’t stay up as long as I used to.”

“It’s fine. You need your rest,” I said softly. “I don’t mind. Fall asleep as soon as you need to.”

I didn’t have to tell her twice. For the second time, she fell asleep on me. Her soft snores filled the room with her pleasant breath of life. I can’t explain why I love watching her sleep, but I couldn’t help it. I reached out to her, attempting to stroke her mane, but before contact I resisted, pulling back. I pressed my claws together and turned towards Rarity.

She was asleep. That was good. It would be more comfortable to say what I needed to say to her this way.

“Rarity, I don’t know how to say this to you any better than I’m about to,” I began, lifting myself off the bed. “All I know is that if I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t even have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Now, thanks to you, I feel like I can actually afford to live without you. But that’s something in the future, and I should live in the now. Right now, I have a beautiful mare who supports and encourages me. I’m lucky to have somepony like you in my life. I love you Rarity, more than anything.”

I got up, ready to leave the house silently. This is how it always ended. Only difference is, I confessed my true feelings to her, even though she couldn’t hear me.

“I love you too, Spikey Poo.”

Or so I thought. I froze in my steps, turning back at her. She was feigning her sleep the entire time. I poured my true feelings out in hopes she wouldn’t hear, and there she was. She’s a clever mare, that Rarity. Guess that’s one of the many reasons why I fell for her. I smiled and walked out of the room, leaving with a merrier expression than before.

I walked home, my mind full of thoughts of the day that had gone by, and pondering what tomorrow might bring. There was still that fear lingering inside. Maybe she might not wake up in the morning. I might lose her any day now. Those were the things that still haunted me.

But now, I feel like I can handle these a lot better than before. If I lose her, then I lose her. I’ll still have the memories, the fun times we shared. I’ll still have my burning love for her, and that will never change. After today, I’ll finally be able to leave these demons that have haunted me in the past.

It’s all thanks to you, my Rarity. I’ll see you tomorrow.

What I Have Left

A dragon's lifespan goes on for many millennia. The general growth spurt of that dragon starts around its two-hundredth year. It took us several years to finally learn about my aging patterns, but the answer I got wasn’t as comforting as I would have liked. If anything, it was a dark, foreboding reminder of the mortality of everypony around me. As time went on, that reminder became reality.

Seventy years is a long time to wait for your friends to leave you. The years seemed to fly by fast, though I wish they hadn’t. I would have preferred to have the years be slow, perhaps even standing still for eternity. If only Star Swirl had invented such magic that could defy age and time. Maybe even Twilight could have figured it out. Maybe I’m just grasping for something, anything that would have made things different. Something that would have kept them around for just a little while longer.

I’ve harbored the fear of being worthless, not needed, and left alone. It was why I cherished every moment I spent with my friends. I could recount every memory, every adventure we went on, every single word said to me, positive or not. The memories are my treasure, and it’s all that I have left of them. Well, all we have left of them.

While most of my friends have withered away, one still remains in my life. The most beautiful, generous one I know seemed to have denied death and outlasted the bitter reality of age. Not physically, but mentally. She’s still the same, radiant pony I fawned over as a young whelp. The way she carries herself, how she acts and interacts with others, it’s as if she hasn’t aged at all. While I wish that were true, the fact of her mortality still shows in her outward appearance.

No matter how hard she tried, she was never able to relive her younger years. Her hair was graying and becoming frailer, her eyes were beginning to sag, and her legs occasionally buckled underneath her. If that wasn’t already enough, her sight was worsening each year. I’ve seen her move her hooves over the counters, searching for the eyelashes that were right in front of her face. It saddens me to see her in such a vulnerable, frail state. But it’s the reality I have to live with. It’s the reason that I decided to accompany her ever since the blindness started to sink in.

As cruel as it may sound, I’m glad that I was given a reason to be around Rarity. No matter how hard I tried, I could never shake off the feelings I’ve had for her. You would think that after seventy years, staying friends with her and supporting her in the pursuit of her true love, that I would be able to rid myself of this “silly crush”. I guess waking up every morning, wishing she would have chosen me over him and envying him for a majority of my life says otherwise, or maybe it just shows how unable I am to move on.

I didn’t hate the guy for this, though. I was quite supportive of him marrying Rarity. She deserved a stallion who was able to take care of her. I was there to support them on their wedding day. I could see the joy that filled her eyes, and that alone was good enough for me. Even then, we remained really good friends, and she still let me come around to assist her when she needed another hand to help her out. Her husband was surprisingly fine with this too, though I decided against making it a normal thing. I didn’t want to impede on their marriage. Life was simple for her, and she was happy.

Unfortunately, this happiness didn’t last long. Eventually, they found out that Rarity was infertile. She would never bear any children of her own. This caused conflict between the two, until he eventually left her one night, never coming back. I never forgave him for that. If only he could have seen the nights she spent lying on her bed, broken down in tears. If only he was there to see the misery in her eyes, wishing every single day that things could have been different, that she could bear fruit. I had to witness it. I wanted to. I wanted to be there to comfort her. She didn’t deserve to be miserable, so I refused to let her be.

With the help of my friends, she slowly but surely grew out of her depression, and was back to her old self again. She spent more time working on her projects, her eyes bright with inspiration. It’s amazing what kind of inspirations come out of sadness. I offered to help her out during her recovery, but she often decided to do it alone. She would weave her fabric, snip the thread, and piece her work together like magic. It was always fun watching her doing what she loved. It gave me a thrill that nothing else could. I suppose that is why I constantly made excuses to go see her. The times went on normally, and I spent as much time with my friends as possible, never aging but watching them do so.

The years began to wear on my friends, and eventually, their deaths caught up to them. Slowly but surely they began to fade from the world, and I was once again reminded by my cursed existence. I wanted to be able to live with them, to grow and get old with them. To eventually die with them. What’s the point in living if you don’t have anyone to live for? It’s a question I’ve often asked myself thousands of times. And the questions didn’t get an answer. Just a cold, biting stab to my heart.

I started growing null to the concept. Death just seemed like an arbitrary thing, and I was immune to it. It truly was a curse. You always assume that you will be ready for it. You build yourself up for the inevitable, spilling your tears in private so when you have to bury them, it doesn’t happen again. One would think that would work. The tears flowing down my face every time we bury a friend says otherwise. Each one is more depressing, and it sucked the life out of me. I was completely devoid of emotion. I was so used to it by this point. It was a normal occasion to me at that point. It was nothing new, yet nothing easy. I just waited for them to all leave me. Sitting and waiting for the inevitable to happen. When Rarity was left, I was saddened. I knew she was close to her end. I feared what was to come, and I shut myself from the world, waiting each day for her to pass and leave me alone.

Miraculously, she managed to exceed her prime. Weeks passed, and she kept moving on. There were tears. There were heartaches; I expected as such. But after the tears were shed, she went back to her normal life. It was almost as if she was oblivious to the fact. She continued on with her life, talking to her sister as if everything was fine. But then, her actions made me realize something: everything was normal. Life is a cycle. If you dwell on the death, your life will be miserable. I didn't want to wallow in my friends' deaths. I needed to move on. But I didn't want to do it alone.

From that point on, I made Rarity my main focus. I spent as much time with her as I possibly could. Anything to keep her out of the retirement home she was pressured to move into constantly. She would always turn it down, and every time, I would sigh in relief. The idea of her being taken care of by some second rate facility, being attended to by some ponies that didn’t know her like I did made me sick. I wouldn’t let them take her, even if they insisted. I wanted her to stay at her boutique, in a place she was familiar and safe at. A place where I could always visit her. A place she can sleep comfortably at night. It might have been selfish, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want anyone to take her away from where she belonged.

When our friends died, the visits began to grow more frequent. Rarity seemed to defy the ages, outlasting even her sister. I don’t know how she did it, nor do I care. I just knew that I wanted to be there to take care of her, and make her feel like she was still young. I helped her take care of her boutique, putting away the fabric that gradually became less used. I helped her get food, took care of the cleaning around the house, and made sure she was comfortable in the night, opting to cover her up and lull her to sleep before I went back to the library.

The sleep always concerned me. I never knew if she was going to be awake when I next saw her. I only had faint hope, and that hope waned with every passing second. Regardless of my fears, I kept visiting, kept socializing, and accompanying her to wherever she wanted to go. I did all of this to keep myself from falling apart. I did it so that the last years of her life would be eventful for the both of us, and in the process, maybe I could fight off those feelings that have haunted me for nearly seventy years.

This has been going on for ten years now, and the feelings still remain. Strangely enough, they’ve grown. But I’ve kept them to myself all these years. What would happen if I told her? She must have thought my silly crush had passed by now. If I were to tell her, what would she do? How would she react? These questions prevented me from testing the theories that bubbled in my head. I’m still afraid of losing her, and to confess this to her when she’s past her prime might hurt more than it would help. Or at least that’s the thought I used to have. I’m still worried about the outcome, but after what just happened, I’m positive she already knows. Today has been an interesting one to say the least.

It started with the same routine: cleaning the library, eating while reminiscing on a portrait of me and Twilight when she was… around, and waiting for the librarian to show up for the day. I would pay her enough to keep watch of it while I was away. I wanted to find the best one to watch over it, one as obsessed with books as Twilight was. It’s the way she would have wanted it.

After that, I always directly go to Sugarcube Corner to pick up some candies for Rarity. She seemed to love the caramel hard candies more lately. I can’t lie, I like her taste. Caramel has always been my favorite flavor candy. Just another thing I could relate with her with.

Anyway, after getting her candies, there wasn’t anything else left but to make my way towards the boutique. I was always fearful when entering. I was never sure if I would be greeted with a hello, or just another corpse I would have to bury. Hers would be the hardest, and I don’t think I could bring myself to do it. If she were to have died, I would have found a special burial for her. She deserves more than the average gravestone. But fortunately, she's been just as lively as she was when she was young. This eases my tension every time.

I entered the boutique, and was greeted by nothing. It was empty and quiet. Just a normal day then. If I was correct, which I prayed I was, she would be reading one of her magazines. I went up the stairs, and none of that had changed. There she was, reading one of her “In the Scene” magazines. It was always amusing to see her interest in fashions. She refused to let the age define her. It’s her refusal to accept defeat that made me smile every time I saw her. As I walked into the room, she looked up, adjusting her glasses, and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Spikey? Is that you?” she asked in that frail, yet alluring voice. It’s funny how well she could hear though. I barely made a noise coming in, and she was able to pick up someone stepping into her room. I guess it’s to compensate for her fading vision. I was never an expert on these things. I smiled and nodded.

“The one and only,” I said, walking to her side. She gave a small smile and giggled quietly.

“That’s quite lovely. I always enjoy seeing your company.”

“So do I.” I pulled up the bag of hard candies and handed them to Rarity. “I know it’s still quite early in the morning, but I decided to get your candies. They’re pretty cheap when you get them, so I was able to get plenty.”

She levitated the candies and put them on the ground, which was unusual. Normally she’d place them on the cabinet, or give one a quick taste before putting the rest away. “Thank you, sweetie. I can never have too many of these.”

I smiled. Not the fake smiles that you give when you want ponies to think that you like them, but the genuine smile that grew more and more genuine each day. Everything about her made me feel happy. Her personality, her poise, the way she carries herself, and yes, even her looks contributed to the feelings that welled up inside of me.

“Well, what do you want to eat today?” I asked. “You know I can make some mean waffles. Maybe freshly squeezed orange juice. You must be getting tired of drinking milk every day.”

“It’s not a bother. I could use a bit of calcium for these old bones, anyways.” Rarity smiled and pushed her glasses up, closing her magazine. I was curious about that. Normally she wouldn’t put away her magazine before she ate. I stood there puzzled, scratching my head as I saw her grin. “But I don’t want you to cook for me today, darling. You deserve a break.”

“Oh.” I looked down, kicking my feet around. “Well, if you just want me to go out and get you some food, then that’s fine. I don’t mind going out for you.”

“I actually had another idea.” Rarity slowly lifted herself out of the bed, putting on her pink slippers. “I would actually rather get out of the house today. I’ve been cooped up here for a while, and I want to get out while the day is young. I need to flex these old bones a little, don’t you think?”

She winked at me, and I smiled. Slowly, she trotted towards the bathroom with me standing by her side so she wouldn’t tumble over. She went by the same routine things every day. She would always apply her eyelashes first, powdering her face and straightening her hair the best way she could. She eventually gave up with her tail, asking me to tie it in a bun. She just couldn’t be bothered with it. So much work would have to go into her tail. It was bad enough that her mane was wild. She eventually gave up on that too, and shortened it. After working on her mane and eyelashes, she would powder her face, trying to simulate that perfect youth she once had.

I found her efforts laudable, but was saddened at the thought of how she must feel. While she never showed it, there had to have been some dread in her. I always imagined her worrying if the next day would come, waiting for the night to take her, and join the rest of her friends. I liked to imagine it, because it made me feel a little better believing I wasn’t the only one with that dread.

She would turn to me and flip her hair, giving me that wonderful, hopeful smile every single time she finished. This time was no different. It was the same as I always remembered. The sparkle’s clouding my vision as her luster showed itself to me. But unlike the other times, this one seemed more, joyful and energetic.

“How do I look?” she asked, as if my answer would change. I’m sure she knew how I felt about her. I reminded her every single day.

“Words can’t even describe how you look.” It was more like I was running out of things to say. Everything I could say had been used a thousand times before. Saying it would just be rewording the same thing over and over again. And yet, I always felt the need to say them. “But it’s awfully early for you to be applying makeup, my lady. I haven’t even gotten your meal yet.”

“That’s the thing, Spike,” she began, still smiling widely. “I want to go out and eat today. It would be nice to go out every now and then and mingle with the townsfolk, wouldn’t you agree?”

I blinked in confusion. I don’t know why it was surprising that she wanted to get out of this lonely, empty boutique she was sheltered in. Any sane pony wouldn’t want to be cooped up inside for life. Still, the suddenness of it. The way she presented the idea to me. The fact that she wanted to spend this day with a friend outside the confines of her home.

‘Yeah. I guess being inside of this boutique could get dull sometimes,” I answered. “Do you have any idea where you want to eat?”

I stood and waited for Rarity to answer my question, anticipation welling inside of me. “Well, I was hoping you could pick it out. You have a good sense of what I want. I trust your judgment.”

I looked up at her. There was genuine joy in her eyes. The hopeful glance that filled my cold heart with warmth. I wish I could share that smile. My smiles are used to hide my fears now, to make her believe that everything is fine. Still, that wasn’t the time or place to think about such depressing things. Rarity needed me, and I wanted to provide for her.

“Well, we could always go to the cafe near the—” I couldn’t bear saying the name. The memories of the ponies that resided there would have been too much for me to stomach. I didn’t think it would be that hard to mention an old friend’s occupation and job, but it was. It never got easier.

I think Rarity saw this pain. She trotted closer to me and stroked my head slowly in the attempt to sooth me. Even though her hooves weren’t as smooth as they once were, they still were as soothing and warm as I remembered. It was refreshing, knowing she was still here with me.

I smiled back. That was all I could do. There was nothing further to say, nothing I could say. The only thing I could muster is continuing my earlier proposition to her.

“So, do you want to eat there, my lady?” I still call her that. She isn’t truly my lady, so why did I keep calling her that? Why did I feel the need to treat her so royally. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. All that mattered is getting her to where she wanted to go.

She quickly grabbed her sunhat and walked to my side. “Lead the way, Spikey Poo.”

A blush painted my face, yet again. After all these years, I was still victim to her honeyed words, on the verge of losing my ability to speak every time she would reply to me. I could stand there and look at her splendor for the rest of the day, but she had her requests, and I wanted to fulfill them. When we left the boutique, I wasn’t expecting to do anything significant other than eat with Rarity. Little did I know, this would be the start of one of the most emotional journeys I’ve had in a while.