The day when my soap turned into a Lyra
I turned the door handle with my elbow and pushed it open with my knee. Walking into my apartment I quickly head to the kitchen — with a tired sigh — I rest the grocery bags over the counter.
Back to the living room, I close the door and collapse on the couch. I was exhausted like an old diesel train, slightly wounded and rusty, sweaty — and sweet Jesus — I'm stinking
Life is no easy task buddy.
Loosing the fight against a terrible headache, I stand up and turn the paper bags upside down scattering its contents all over the table. From among pesticide-smelling vegetables and a couple of frozen meals, I retrieve a lonely green soap.
Exactly what I was looking for.
I grabbed my towel, my soap, and gathering all of my willpower I went to the bathroom for a relaxing hot tub. Oh heavens! Wonders like these serve to remind me that there's still hope in this world. At least while I'm inside my Jacuzzi.
I unpack the mint green soap, hmmmm... Yep, it smells like soap. — No way, you're kidding? — I think to myself. I find the smell of certain kinds of soap very hard to describe. If it's green, I think about mint, or anything leafy.
After soaping my face and body, I laid my head on the tub edge and closed my eyes for a second. — The warm spurts of water massaged my tired body. — I let out a soft grunt of pleasure. A few more minutes and I'd probably fall asleep. Sadly, I couldn't enjoy that extra dose of pleasure.
A strange noise snapped me out of my thin-skinned bird nap, It was a bubbling sound coming from my—
Soap?
I turned my head to face the soap dish, only to see a large bubble growing convulsively on my recently acquired 'Irish Spring'.
"What the hell!" I muttered, rinsing the soap from my face, afraid that a similar reaction could take place on my skin. That wouldn't be pretty.
I jumped out of the bathtub still dripping in water and bubbles, I had to do something, but what? What are the procedures for mutant soaps? I searched for the wrapper, but it was already deep in my trash can. There was a bubbling, expanding soap bar in my bathroom — I mean, it could be a bomb couldn't it? — I pondered.
Maybe a new terrorist technology. I flinched at the thought.
"Oh God, everything but the feds!"
'Alright Bob, keep calm; nothing to worry about here, there's just a — mother fucking bubble monster in your bathroom.'
And I'm locked here with it.
The key, the key, the goddamned key! Of all the days, why I decided to lock the door — today — and managed to lost the key? As I frenetically shook the doorknob trying to escape from that place, I didn't noticed that the bubble had become more than that...
"Oh for Celestia's glory! A real human!"
I jumped abruptly when I heard that muffled voice, my feet twisted and I slipped, disgracefully landing on the floor, worse; landing on my butt.
'Celestia?' No... It can't be a — god, this just can't be, what I think it is.
From behind the greenish bubble wall, emerged not a bomb or terrorist, let alone a federal agent. Yet, emerged a mint green thing.
"Oh my god! No way in hell." I shook my head. "You can't be a..."
A mint green unicorn, walked out of that mess.
I felt my body freezing there on the corner, naked and half-covered in soap.
What scared me the most wasn't the fact that a creature just popped out of my soap, but the fact that I knew this creature... It was Lyra Heartstrings. From a television show.
"Hey, are you okay?" The soaked pony asked me.
I tried to be reasonable, there should be logic — somewhere — but the fact that I was trapped in my own bathroom with a cartoon pony that just happened to crawl out of my soap wasn't helping.
"NO!"
"I'm not okay!" I exclaimed. "H-how the fuck could I be okay? What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be spreading harmony or something?" I rubbed my eyes vigorously, wishing that Lyra could just disappear.
"Yes! And that's what I'm doing!" She unfortunately replied.
"No; you're talking nonsense with an alien creature that you barely know!" Oh, the irony.
Lyra ignored my argument and crawled over me.
"Fingers!" The unicorn excitedly jumped on my lap and tried to grab my hand.
"Have you ever heard of personal space!?" I slipped again, but managed to stand up and release my fingers from her psychopathic hooves.
"Oh, coooome on Bob! Let me have some fun with your thumbs!" She tried to approach me again.
"Look Lyra, you shouldn't be here— T-this isn't your world, and you're making me feel really uncomfort-" With my full attention focused on Lyra, I didn't noticed the tub behind me. My leg bumped against it while I backed away from the pony, making me fall on my back inside the marble bath.
"Ouch!"
"Shit Lyra! Look what you've done to me, dammit!" In frustrated attempts, I tried to leave the slippery tub. "And how the fuck do you know my name?" I asked.
"Oh, and how couldn't I know? I came here only to have some fun with you!" She stood on her hind legs, and slid inside the Jacuzzi.
There between my legs was Lyra Heartstrings, her pointy horn dangerously close to my sensitive spots. "Have some fun with me?" I asked, my pupils shrinking.
"Well... Yes. I tried to play with your fingers, but you don't seem to like the idea." As she slowly moved closer to me, I dragged myself away as far as I could. Yet, we're talking about a tub, not an olympic-size swimming pool.
Before I could react, she climbed on top of me. "Lyra what the hell are you—" She stuck one of her hooves inside my mouth, I finished my sentence in muffled grunts.
"Shhhhhhhh... Relax, I ain't trying to suck your fingers again." She giggled "I came here to play with you, remember? And I'm pretty sure I know many other things that will make you happy" The unicorn had a wicked smile stamped on her face.
Oh no...
Half of the tub water was gone, as so the bubbles that once covered my body. Clearly, I was naked and my soap had now become a perverted pony that is planing to rape me.
"Lyra, I r-really, really think you should j-just go back to your... Go back to where the hell you came from!" Go back to your fucking Irish Spring dimension.
"B-but, if I go back... We won't enjoy any fun together!" She caressed my chest with her hooves, stopping on my waist. An alarming shiver ran through my spine. "Besides — It's all about fun isn't it?" Her grin was scaring me, but I couldn't help but notice that awkward boner between my legs.
A part of my brain screamed: 'She's a pony for god sake!'
I had no time to complain, Lyra placed her hooves around my dick and smiled at me. "Hmmmm... It seems like you've changed your mind isn't it?"
"L-lyra w-hat the h-" She gave my shaft a slow but wet lick from the base to the top, and started to make circles with her tongue around its head.
I would complain about that — but you know... — who am I to deny a free blowjob?
"Relax my little human. We're just warming up for our little game."
"S-shut the fuck up Lyra, don't you know that's rude to speak with your mouth full?" She devilishly smiled at that.
In a split of second, Lyra engulfed my entire cock. Her soft snout pressing against my belly. "Fuck, ahhhh- d-damn Lyra!" I squirmed in place.
Even with my entire length inside her mouth, I could see a tenacious smile forming on her face. She began to stroke my balls, while planting small kisses on the top.
By that time I was fighting against the urge to rut her little muzzle, the visual contact wasn't helping me at all. My soap-generated little pony was cute as fuck, with the texture of her drenched fluff brushing against my crotch.
With a wet pop, she released my throbbing head from her mouth. Her warm breath in contact with my exposed manhood made me shiver again.
Slowly, Lyra moved herself upon my chest, leaning her head close to my ear, her mane falling in dripping strands over her face
"Do you know the reason why I love humans so much?" She asked. I shook my head swallowing my words, my mouth half-opened. "It's not about their fingers I assure you. Now ask me... 'Why do I love them?'"
"W-why d-do you love us?" She just nuzzled me.
With her fore-hooves planted on my shoulders, Lyra impaled herself on my dick.
Never in my life I had felt so much pleasure, her insides were tighter than anything I had fucked before, that tiny pony squeezed my cock like a nymphomaniac. My eyes rolled on its orbits, I can't remember clearly but I must have moaned like a girl right there.
"Ahnnn hmmmmnnmph" She gasped, biting down her lower lip. Lyra's hind-legs twitched and kicked the air. She was so damn warm, that small unicorn was leaking water and fluids all over me. I placed my hands on her flanks and caressed her cutie marks. They looked so real, I could swear I wasn't on drugs.
Ever so slowly, she began to rise and let her body fall back on my lap with a splash. Her pussy squeezed me with every move, followed by her soft moans and delight squeals every time she did so. "I l-love humans... b-because of their cocks!" She started to laugh at that, but her chuckles were quickly replaced by a wet smacking sound every time our bodies met each other inside the tub.
"Y-yes Hnnngg" She gritted her teeth. "I s-said it would be fun..." Lyra's cheeks were red as embers, she couldn't fix her eyes at mine as I pounded her insides.
"Yeah- Y-you were right." I said "You n-nasty stupid pony" I pulled her to a kiss, which she did not complained.
I held Lyra in place with my arm as I increased the pace, pressing her down into me. Her body was completely drenched in sweat, the tantalizing feeling of her wet fur rubbing against my skin was making me grunt in arousal, it was mind-blowing to watch such a cute and seemingly innocent creature doing these sort of things.
"O-oh my G-god, Lyra!"
Grabbing her by the chest I held the unicorn with both hands, she surrounded my neck with her hooves. I could hear, and fell her soft moans reverberating inside my mouth as our tongues battled in a fierce kiss, her breath had become frantic and fast-paced.
"Lyra..." I gasped "I can't h-hold it much longer." I managed to say between puffs of air.
"I-inside please... Hnnnnnngh F-fill me with your seed! Ahhhn" Her body tensed up, and she squirmed erratically with my shaft buried deep inside of her.
"I'm g-gonna—"
Her burning walls clamped around my dick, a warm and thick torrent of pussy juice came out of her marehood as Lyra spasmed uncontrollably, I just held her firmly and with a final thrust—
"He's awake, he's awake!"
Startled, I nearly jumped from my own skin when I heard that. I quickly turned around just to—
"What?"
Where's my bathroom, and — fuck! — where's Lyra??
Am I wearing a hospital gown? What the hell just—
Two friends of mine, Daemon and Carl, approached.
"The fuck just happened? What I'm doing here?" They looked at me with shocked faces.
"Dude... Don't you remember? I mean... Gee Bob, you almost gave us a heart attack when we found your body in the—"
"Found me? Where?" Oh heavens, please tell me that they didn't found the pony.
"Bob, we were going to your place after work remember? The apartment door was swung open. We thought something bad had happened, so we walked inside but you were nowhere to be seen. We almost called the police, man!" Carl shook his head. "But Daemon heard something coming from one of the bathrooms and we decided to check..."
Yep, they surely heard.
"Dude, you were half-conscious inside the tub, just babbling nonsense!" He said.
"I... what!?"
"Yeah man, we tried to wake you up. We thought some crazy shit had happened to you, I dunno... Damn, you scared us as hell, Bob! We brought you to the emergency, and the doctor said that you had some kind of aneurysm inside your head."
Oh man... I was just having fun with my favorite pony, and now I have an aneurysm? I don't even know what an aneurysm is!
"And now what?" I asked, sighing in frustration.
"Well, now you're supposed to stay here for a while, you know? Until they fix your brain or something." I groaned, resting my head with a puff on the pillows, and staring at the cellar again.
"And... Who the hell is Lyra!" Carl asked. "And what the fuck was all that soap?"
Here we go.
Somewhere in Ponyville
Lyra trotted inside her room. A very annoyed Bon Bon turned the lights on.
"Lyra Hearstrings!"
With a jump, she turned around to face a hissing mare sitting on her bed. "Ermmm... Hello there Bon Bon how are—"
"Where for Celestia's beard have you been? And— What is this thing? Lyra, you're dripping!" Said the confused pony.
Lyra just chuckled. "Loooong story..."
Author's Note
Yep, this is the most random thing I ever wrote. I just hope to not have disappointed your clop LOL
