Because... Pinkie Pie!

by RenaissanceBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance
Length: 2676

Princess Cadance wants Twilight to spread love on Hearts and Hooves Day. As usual, Pinkie Pie ensures it does not go smoothly.

Every year, Princess Cadance is tasked with spreading love throughout Equestria on Hearts and Hooves Day. But this year she just wants to spend some time with her special somepony, so it's up to Twilight to fulfill Cadance's duties. Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie tries to help.

Published 2014-02-13 10:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-13 10:30:02 UTC

Spread the Love!

Dearest Twilight,

I have a little favor I’d like to ask of you. You might not know, but in addition to performing my duties as Princess of the Crystal Empire, I have a few special responsibilities every year on Hearts and Hooves Day. Before I became the Princess of the North, I was simply the Princess of Love, and the only time I actually had anything to do was that one day of the year.

I’ve always spent the entire day flying across Equestria, spreading love everywhere I could, but this year is the first time I’ve ever had a special somepony of my own. I’d really like to make our first Hearts and Hooves Day together really special for both of us so if you’d be willing to help I’d really, really appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Cadance

* * *

Dear Cadance,

Of course I’ll help! I know my brother pretty well, so feel free to ask me anything you need to know to really make his Hearts and Hooves Day special.

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. He reeeeaaaaally loves corn dogs. Make sure you have some ready.

* * *

Dearest Twilight,

I’m afraid I don’t need advice on your brother. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of really great tips, but we can save that for another time.

What I meant was I’d like you to take over my responsibilities for the day so I can have enough free time to spend with your brother. I don’t need you to run the Crystal Empire or anything. I’ve already arranged for my advisors to take care of that for the day. However, I don’t know anypony except you who would be suitable to take over my job as Princess of Love.

I figured out a way to temporarily enchant a pendant with my own powers, so anypony who wears it can control love with their own magic. I’m afraid we’re running a little short on time, so I’ve taken the liberty of sending it to you already, and it should be arriving later today. I would be so grateful if you would wear it for me and make sure there’s enough love throughout Equestria to make this another great Hearts and Hooves Day.

I have complete faith in you, and I know you’ll be just as amazing at spreading love as you are at being an amazing sister-in-law.

Gratefully yours,
Cadance

* * *

“What!?!” shrieked Twilight, dropping the letter in alarm. “No no no no no NO! I can’t do this!” With a panicked look of desperation, she turned to her assistant. “How could she do this to me, Spike?”

“Do what to you?” the dragon asked innocently.

“Cadance wants me to handle spreading love all over Equestria on Hearts and Hooves Day!”

“And… why is that bad?”

“You saw what happened last time I tried to control love! You remember the Smarty Pants incident, don’t you?”

Spike raised his eyebrows as he recalled the full-out brawl that Twilight had started. “Oh yeah. That didn’t end well.”

“No, it didn’t! Celestia herself had to come here to clean up the mess I made. And just last week Applejack caught Big Mac playing with Smarty Pants. I think my magic had some kind of permanent effect on him. I can’t be trusted to spread love across all of Equestria!”

“But Twilight, that was so long ago. Think of how much you’ve changed. You weren’t even a princess back then.”

“And think of how much stronger my magic has grown. If I could cause that much chaos back then, think of what I could do now!”

“You’ve gained control along with strength. I don’t know any other pony who can control her own magic as well as you can.”

“No, Spike. I just can’t do this. It’s too dangerous. We’ll just have to tell Cadance she has to find somepony else.”

As soon as Spike resentfully pulled out a quill and scroll to write a response to Cadance’s letter, though, two loud knocks echoed throughout the tree house.

“I’ll get it!” exclaimed Spike, hopping off to answer the front door. A moment later he returned with a box wrapped in pink paper and covered in cartoon hearts. “Derpy brought us something,” he said.

“Oh no,” groaned Twilight. There was only one pony who would wrap something with such lovely wrapping paper. “This must be the pendant.” She warily levitated the box out of Spike’s grasp and unfolded the paper, exposing an ordinary cardboard box. She opened up the flaps on top with her magic and saw that it was full of styrofoam peanuts. Probing inside, she detected a powerful magical artifact and floated it out of the box. It appeared to be an ordinary pendant. It was just a crystallized heart on a gold chain in the fashion of the Crystal Empire, but a unicorn of just about any skill level could easily have felt the strong magic it radiated.

Having satisfied her curiosity, she stuffed the magic item back into its home of styrofoam and closed the lid. “I won’t have anything to do with this,” she huffed. “Give it back to Derpy and tell her to take it away.”

“She already flew off.”

“Okay then, I’ll just bring it back to Cadance myself,” the lavender alicorn declared.

She threw on a saddlebag, shoved the box inside, ran to the front door and threw it open, preparing to take off.

“Howd-- Whoa!” Applejack greeted as soon as Twilight opened the door. Twilight hadn’t expected anypony to be standing on her front doorstep and she accidentally flew straight into her, getting tangled up rolling with her away from the house. Pinkie Pie had been standing directly behind the golden haired earth pony, so she got all jumbled up in the mess as well.

Pinke ended up sprawled on top of the other two, giggling. “Wow, that’s the most enthusiastic hello I’ve seen all day!” she laughed, throwing her arms around Twilight, still on top of her. “And that’s saying something, because earlier Cheerilee just seemed so happy when she waved to me! Oh, and Lyra too. She was great! Oh, oh! And don’t let me forget about Bulk Biceps, either. His was really something.” The whole time she was talking, she didn’t give any indication that she’d be getting off of her friends anytime soon, so Twilight went ahead and pulled her off with her magic. Pinkie continued prattling away regardless. “I’m really glad you decided to tackle me like that. Otherwise I woulda had a really hard time deciding whose was the best. Luckily I think you really took the cake with that one.” The pink pony held out a piece of cake that Twilight could have sworn she hadn’t been holding just a second earlier.

“Um, no thanks. I just ate,” Twilight answered, standing up and brushing herself off along with Applejack.

“Woohoo! More for me!” Pinkie cheered, swallowing the slice whole.

“Um, Ah think yew dropped this.” Applejack scooped up Twilight’s box and held it out for her.

“Oh, thank you,” Twilight took it back.

“Hey!” Pinkie exclaimed. “What’s in the box?”

“Now Pinkie Pah, it ain’t polahte tuh jus’ ask--” Applejack started to correct her pink friend’s behavior.

“It’s alright, Applejack. I’d actually like to talk to you both about what’s in this box, now that I think about it. Come on inside.”

Once they were inside the library, Spike joined them.

“Cadance wants me take over her job of spreading love on Hearts and Hooves Day,” she explained, pulling the pendant out of its container.

“Wow, tha’s a mighty big responsahbility, Twi,” Applejack declared in awe. “An’ what’s that li’l doohickey for?” she asked, indicating the pendant.

“Cadance enchanted it with her magic so anypony who wears it augments their own magic with the the power to control love.”

“Omigosh!” Pinkie jumped into the air. “If you put that thing on, you can make ponies fall in love!?!”

“Well I haven’t tried it, but that’s what Cadance said.”

Pinkie Pie zipped through the air and snatched the pendant out of Twilight’s magical hold and put it around her own neck.

“Pinkie!” cried the unicorn. “That’s an extremely powerful magical artifact. Be careful with it!”

“Okie Doki Loki!” the pink pony recited absentmindedly as she tapped the jewel, trying to make it work.

“You can only use it if you already have magic,” Twilight explained. “It doesn’t give you magic of your own. It only adds to the magic unicorns or alicorns already have.”

“Oooh, that makes sense,” Pinkie smiled. She pulled a party hat out of nowhere and placed it on her head.

“Yeah… That’s not going to wo--” Twilight cut herself off mid-sentence as the party hat and pendant started to glow in unison.

“Eeheeheehee,” Pinkie giggled joyfully. Twilight could feel a magical power start to build up inside of her friend.

“How are you doing that?” she wondered, fascinated as ever by Pinkie’s ability to break the laws of magic. Then, in a flash of blinding pink light, a misty rose-colored haze seemed to fall over the entire room. Nothing seemed to have happened to Pinkie Pie, who was grinning expectantly, so Twilight turned to try to figure out what she’d done to her other friends. She found Applejack staring straight at her with a look of wonder and amazement upon her face.

Applejack seemed to be literally glowing, and as Twilight laid eyes on her, fireworks went off in her mind. How had she never realized how stunning Applejack was? How her golden mane flowed so brilliantly down her neck, and how big her deep green eyes were?

The two of them held each other’s gaze, rendered absolutely speechless.

“Pfft!” Pinkie tried to stifle her own laughter. “Okay, I’ll leave you two to it.” And she bounced out of the room.

Spike waved his hand cautiously in front of his two friends’ faces but got no response. ”Um, guys?” he asked. “What are you doing?”

And so Spike was left to figure out what in the hay was wrong with his two friends.

Pinkie, on the other hoof, knew exactly what had happened. Laughing uncontrollably, she wondered to herself, “Who should I visit next?” She spotted Lyra and Bon Bon trotting by, and she rubbed her hooves together schemingly. She started to follow them, hiding behind trees and vending stalls and statues so they wouldn’t see her. But right when she was about to strike, she whispered to herself, “Wait! It’s too early for this! Hearts and Hooves Day isn’t till tomorrow.” So she retreated… for now. She’d be back soon enough.

Luckily for her, the only two ponies who knew she had the pendant were too busy staring into each other’s eyes to stop her, and Spike was too incompetent to do anything except try to snap his friends out of the spell. So Pinkie had no problem waiting out the rest of the day.

She baked some cookies, downed some sugar, hopped around Ponyville for a while... The usual. But all along she was secretly scheming. How could she use her new-found powers to make tomorrow the best Hearts and Hooves Day of all time? She gasped as she realized exactly what she had to do. She figured out that earth ponies don’t have magic whereas unicorns do purely because they have horns. Obviously since earth ponies have zero magic and their horns are zero big (since they don’t have horns at all), and unicorns have some magic and their horns are somewhat big, it follows that any pony with a big enough horn can perform big enough feats of magic. All she needed was something really really big and horn shaped.

Her eyes drifted towards the mountain range that rose from the horizon at Ponyville’s outskirts. “Perfect!” she grinned sinisterly. Without a moment’s hesitation, she rushed home, grabbed a watch and a shovel, and headed off towards the mountains. The magical pendant bounced on its golden chain with every hop.

* * *

Far below an especially pointy and horn shaped mountain, Pinkie eagerly watched the seconds tick by. She had spent hours digging her way through the earth to place herself directly underneath the base of the mountain. Now all her efforts were about to pay off as the second hand on her watch approached the 12, telling her that Hearts and Hooves Day was about to begin.

Tick.

“HAPPY HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY, EVERYPONY!!!” She screamed.

Way off in Ponyville, a few ponies flapped their ears or fluttered their sleeping eyelids in response to some indistinct, far-off noise.

“HAVE SOME LOOOOOVE!” the pink pony howled triumphantly, tearing off her party hat and pressing her forehead against the roof of the narrow cave she had dug. She let the magic of the pendant flow through her and the entire mountain started to glow. After just a few moments of build-up, the newly formed love volcano erupted. Pink, sparkly dust shot high into the atmosphere, dispersing and floating back down to the surface of Equestria. It reached all corners of the land, coating everything and everyone in love dust.

It had no immediate effect, however, as Pinkie had designed her spell with care. Any pony who came into contact with the magic fell madly in love with the first pony they laid eyes on, whether it was somepony else or a reflection of themselves. Not even Pinkie was immune to the effects of the love dust, and as soon as she stepped out of her cave she fell in love with a pony made of straw, which guarded a large field of corn. She swooned onto the straw pony and it caught her without moving a muscle. Mostly because it was made of straw, didn’t have any muscles, and couldn’t move. Nonetheless, Pinkie spent the entire day wrapping herself in the arms of her newfound love.

For everypony else, something more or less the same happened. When they woke up, they either looked in a mirror, falling in love with their own reflection, or they wandered outside, falling in love with some random pony on the street. Everypony spent Hearts and Hooves Day lost in the eyes of their special somepony.

After the 24 hour period of Hearts and Hooves Day ended, the magic in Pinkie’s pendant wore off, as did all of its effects. Life returned to normal and everypony vaguely wondered why they had just spent 24 hours staring at somepony.

* * *

Dearest Twilight,

I’m still a little bit confused about what happened on Hearts and Hooves Day. Did the pendant not work properly?

I mean, no offense, but I thought you’d be able to handle simple love magic.

I’m not mad. I just want to know what happened.

Sincerely,
Cadance

* * *

Cadance,

Pinkie Pie happened.

-Twilight

And with that simple explanation, Cadance knew that she would never fully understand what had happened. Even those who were not extremely close to Pinkie Pie knew that when the troublesome earth pony did something to completely shatter your understanding of the universe, it was best to not ask questions and just forget about it. So she wrote her reply.

Dearest Twilight,

I see. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll take care of Hearts and Hooves Day next year.

Sincerely,
Cadance

She sent off the letter and thought to herself, “If I had a journal to write down important lessons about life and friendship, I’d definitely write about how this experience taught me not to shirk my responsibilities.” She shrugged. “Too bad I don’t.”

Author's Note

I wrote this for the Equestria Daily Writer's Training Ground #007. The prompt was to write about two ponies swapping roles for a time.

Twilight was supposed to take Cadance's place in the story, but Cadance didn't take Twilight's place, so I'm not really sure this counts. But I'm submitting it anyway!

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it.