The Equestrian Zombie War

Journal 251
Property of Director Resolute
2nd of September, J.R. (Joined Reign)

Twilight is officially not talking to me. I strongly suspect she’s still trying to get me to retrieve Fluttershy. I know she is a friend of mine, but still, ERIS is low on personnel.

We received the second shipment of Sturmgewehr rifles, and I’ve been relegated to desk job in light of recent events. Can’t blame them; I’ve effectively lost all fighting capabilities due to these brushfire operations. I should’ve contacted the Church for help.

Everypony’s inching closer to finding the truth, and I’m running out of ideas to stall the information. Sooner or later, some reporter from Equestria Daily would find the outbreak’s details, and then we’re all screwed.

The Sturmgewehrs are currently undergoing modification for pony use. Again, since I’ve lost political power in the council for the time being, there’s almost nothing I can do to convince them not to use normal rifles. Didn’t they get the report? No matter how many lead you fill into the undead, they’re not going to yield unless some lucky bastard managed to get the brains splattered across the ground.

I need to get Luna on my side. We’re fighting a pandemic, not an enemy country. No, this is nothing like that infection in that space war game, they’re not going to somehow form a hive mind. This is a DISEASE. Just to be safe, I think I’ll try to convince Tia too.

I’m concerned Twilight’s trying to get Fluttershy by herself. She can’t be serious; while we managed to successfully conduct Firefly back in 12, she’s rather agitated in covert operations. Maybe I can convince her through excellent wording. She likes excellent wording.

***

2nd of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)
Dearest Twilight

It has come to my attention that you intend to retrieve Fluttershy. While I applaud this noble intent, ERIS is currently low on overseas personnel. Aerial reconnaissance noted the presence of large swarms of the infected. I can only conclude that Fluttershy has been kept captive by the Politburo to prevent word from coming out.

Do not misunderstand. The safety of the elements is my duty, but I can’t rush the soldiers to retrieve one mare when the outbreak is on our doorstep, figuratively. We’re working day and night to keep the outbreak at bay, and panic is bound to happen once it enters our fair land.

Think of the others, Twilight. We need somepony as intelligent as you are. No, I cannot substitute for you. I don't work that well with Celestia. I need you here too, Twilight.

We’ll get Fluttershy, some day, some time. I promise you that.

-Resolute

***

Journal 251
Property of Director Resolute
4th of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)

Alright, now that’s settled, I can go back to planning.

I’m losing more and more of these council debates, and I think those bureaucratic morons are enjoying it. We’re going to announce the truth about the infection in the start of October, and that’s where I come in.

I successfully classified this outbreak as a DEFCON 1 type emergency, and to take action in it one must ask for approval from five of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. Those ponies being Luna, Celestia, Twilight, Iron Forge, and myself. The security council, some might say. The appeal comes in the middle of September, and I hope I can buy more time before mass hysteria comes.

Research Team Sierra managed to find a peculiar situation; zombies attacking another. Naturally, this new development screwed up parts of our plan, and improved some of it. We could try to find why they are doing this, and then we can try to turn them against each other. Makes killing them so much easier.

I ordered a couple of researchers to starve the zombies we have in captivity to see if this theory is viable. They’ll report the results in a few more days, and I’m aching to see the results of the test. Perhaps we might see some sort of cannibalistic behavior developing within them. Oh this is exciting!

Well, it seems all our efforts are still not enough. An Israfoalian writer is apparently writing a series of zombie guides on his web page. I’m sending in Serene to confirm. I contacted Warmhoof to see if this is approved by the Mossad. Still waiting for a reply, though.

The website was approved by the Mossad. Warmhoof also said he was the one who gave the approval. How very odd of the most efficient intelligence agency to approve of such a massive intelligence leak. Then again, Israfoal knew about the outbreak firsthoof.

Just for fun, I think I'm going to write how the council argued against ERIS being involved.

They said a bunch of secret agents can't possibly help as soldiers.

That being said, I pointed out that nine hundred and thirty five griffon scientists held off thousands of flying zombies before they had to retreat. Even then, a small group remained to hold the line. If a bunch of mad scientists can do it, how well can we do it?

Long story short, they were mortified. Take that!

Oh the wonders of deadpan snarking. Twilight needs to learn how to do it, she'll make a wonderful snarker.

***

Journal 251
Property of Director Resolute
5th of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)

Twilight’s gone. I can’t find her anywhere in Ponyville or Canterlot. Damn it, I knew I should’ve kept closer tabs on her. The bloody second I turn away, she’s gone. Such an impulsive mare, I’ll give her that.

We’re still trying to find cannibalistic behaviors within the zombies we’ve captured. No signs so far, but we’re getting close, I can feel it.

The griffons are still fighting back, but I don’t think they can hold them off much longer. The media still thinks they’re in a civil war. They’re right, in a way.

The zombie guides were, thankfully, dismissed as an alternate reality game. However, the guides are a bit useful in describing the ways to kill the undead quickly and efficiently. I have to disagree on the use of crossbows en masse, though. Rifles are so much more useful.

Speaking of which, REACH officially phased out the Smith and Westcolt battle rifle in favor of the Sturmgewehr. In response, I ordered a large quantity of rifles for ERIS. Take that, Mr. Forge. We’ll see who fares better the day the infection enters Equestria.

They’re considering using crossbows on the zombies. Of course, I got vetoed with an absurdly large margin. They don’t realize that crossbows are supposed to be last resort weapons, not the PRIMARY WEAPON FOR THE ARMY. Do they have absolutely ANY idea how hard it is to shoot a crossbow from midair OR from a war zeppelin? I swear, if they dare phase out the armed zeppelins, I’m launching a coup. Let’s see how you fare against that, Mr. Forge.

I hope Twilight’s here, she’s always better at talking to morons. Like that one time where her friends were being total idiots to Chrysalis!Cadance’s behavior. Maybe she’s on a trip to the Empire. I seriously need to relax a bit these days. Perhaps I should do game night with Celestia, Discord, and Luna all at once. Best idea ever.

Twilight left Equestria, damn it. The one time, the one time I forget to check my email, an important message comes in;

September 4, 25 JR

Resolute, by the time you read this I will be off to the deer republic. The others are with me, so don’t worry about them too much.

I know it’s been hard for you, but I can’t leave a friend in need.

Take care.

Your friend, Twilight Sparkle

PS: Don’t reply; I left my computer with Celestia.

Forget it, I’m tracking her down. Thank you for ruining my game night plans, Twilight.

***

Journal 251
Property of Director Resolute
13th of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)

Now with Twilight in the republic, I have to find her. Good job, Twilight.

I’ll be bringing an ERIS team with myself, can’t trust the fools in REACH. Luckily, Twilight’s still traceable thanks to Luna dreamwalking. She’s still alive, and not bitten. Her friends are still alive, too. Thank the mother for their absurd luck.

I'm trusting Luna to stall the meeting until I come back. This retrieval mission shouldn't be too hard. A ragtag group of mares can't be that hard to find, right?

Discord decided to come with us. What a relief, no sarcasm intended. Now we can so very easily save them all. Discord was also kind enough to provide us with a nickname; the Harmony Retrieval Team, or HRT, or Heart as pronounced. I’ll have to admit it; that was one awesome pun.

I will be leaving this journal with Luna. I hope she doesn’t laugh her flank off at a poem I wrote.

Come to think about it, I think I should rip the poem off the journal. Too embarrassing, sounds like a lovestruck colt wrote it.

Maybe Luna’s right; I’m still a little colt at heart.

A wee bit of an update: Shining Armor decided that he too will join us. You can never have too many powerful magic users in your team

***

Journal 251
Property of Director Resolute
14th of September, 25 J.R. (Joined Reign)

I think I should leave a message for Resolute here.

First of all, you dropped the poem mentioned previously. Contrary to what you might say, I find the poem rather flattering, especially the second part.

By the time you read this, the meeting will have been carried out. Forgive me, but I disagree with you on keeping the plague a secret. The public needs to learn the truth.

I have read your concern about the plague infecting Tia and I. Do not worry too much about us, for it is the common folk that requires your protection.

I wish you the best of luck in finding Twilight Sparkle, we all do.

-Luna

Addendum: Tia and I did game night for the first time, and she used your account. Your kill to death ratio was heavily increased due to this. I think I won’t be doing game nights until you return.