Apple Bloom scribbled on the piece of paper furiously while Cheerilee explained a mathematical concept to the class. Or if it was after two o’clock already, she was probably droning on about history. Regardless, Apple Bloom had long since stopped paying attention to what her teacher was saying in favor of doodling in her notebook.
A.B. + Rumble “No, I think the boy’s name is s’pposed t’ go first.” She corrected herself. She quickly drew a new heart with Rumble + Apple Bloom inside. “Perfect.” She smiled.
She closed her eyes and smiled. She was standing in a field and she could see the object of her affections running towards her from the opposite end. She galloped as fast as her legs could carry her towards Rumble. He fluttered his wings and picked up speed. And then he started calling her name.
“Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom.”
Why does Rumble sound so much like Cheerilee? Seconds later her eyes flew open as she realized she had dozed off in class. “Uh, yes, Miss Cherilee?”
“I was curious if you could tell me what started the Pegasus-Griffin Conflict of 872?”
“I reckon it was because the griffins and the pegasi didn’t much like each other back then.”
“Could you be more specific?”
“It was the pegasi and the griffins. They never much needed an excuse to start fightin’; they loved whoopin’ on each other back in the day. Some diplomat probably sneezed in the wrong direction or somethin’.”
“No, that was the cause of the Pegasus-Griffin War of 731. Try again.”
She was already busted for sleeping in class, she knew Miss Cheerilee was going to make her stay after class as a result, and if she knew the answer she already would have given it. So she figured she might as well make it worth getting in trouble. “In that case, I’ll take ‘Ancient Pegasus and Griffin Wars Nopony Cares About’ for 600 bits, Tex.” She paraphrased the popular radio game show. The rest of her class burst into laughter.
“Please see me after class, Apple Bloom.”
“What? It’s not like the griffins and pegasi are at each other’s throats these days. What’s it matter if we know every little detail of every one of their wars or not? The important part is we’re all friends now.”
“Because those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. In summer school.” The class once more burst into laughter, this time at her expense. She glanced over to the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders; they were trying hard not to laugh and failing miserably. She sighed and looked at the clock – it was going to be a long hour and seventeen minutes until school let out for the day.
“I expect a five page report detailing the causes of each of the seventeen wars between the pegasi and the griffins due tomorrow or else I’ll be forced to give you detention.”
“Yes, Miss Cheerilee.” Apple Bloom looked everywhere but at her teacher. This was a much harsher punishment than she had expected.
The raspberry pink pony held the door for the yellow filly, and then locked the schoolhouse for the night. Unfortunately because of the delay, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo had run off to crusade without her. She knew where they were going, and she was supposed to meet them there, but with the extra assignment she wouldn’t have time to play. She decided to leave her friends a note and leave it at the clubhouse. They’d understand, even if they wouldn’t be happy about it.
She turned down the path leading towards Sweet Apple Acres but before she could get far she found Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon blocking her path.
“T’day just isn’t my day.”
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the class comedienne. Trying to get a cutie mark in class clowning? I admit, it would be a suitable cutie mark for an unremarkable pony like you.”
“Yeah, and if she does become a clown she’ll have to cover up her face with make-up. That way we won’t have to see all the ugly.” Silver Spoon giggled at her own insult as if it were the funniest thing in the world.
Apple Bloom tried to shove her way past the two fillies but instead found herself face down in the dirt.
“You dare lay a hoof on me? I’ll teach you a thing or two about respect!” Diamond Tiara sat on the prone yellow filly.
“Hey! What’s this?” Silver Spoon picked up a sheet of paper that had spilled out of Apple Bloom’s saddlebag when she fell. “Looks like somepony has a crush.”
“Oh?” Diamond Tiara grinned maliciously. “Do tell.”
“Apple Bloom has the hots for…. get this… Rumble!” Silver Spoon held the drawing up for Diamond Tiara to inspect.
“Like you have a chance in the world with a handsome colt like him,” Diamond Tiara said, dismissively. “Besides, you’re an Apple. I was under the impression the Apples like to keep it in the family. That should be Big Macintosh’s name in that heart.”
“Oh, she probably doesn’t want to steal him away from her sister. Maybe she can find herself a nice cousin to marry instead.”
“Leave my family out o’ this.”
“Oh, is the little blank flank getting worked up?”
“Yeah, I am!” Apple Bloom jumped to her feet, bucking Diamond Tiara off in the process. The pink filly landed with a thud on the trail. “I’ll just be takin’ this and I’ll be on my way.” Silver Spoon backed away from the drawing, giving Apple Bloom a wide berth.
Apple Bloom’s mind raced the entire way home. No doubt the two bullies were already on their way to inform Rumble of her crush on him. She could deny it but what would be the point? When it came down to it, the ponies in her class were far likelier to believe Diamond Tiara than herself – partially because of the class hierarchy, and partially because she was as horrible a liar as her big sister.
So she prepared as best she could for the next day. A quick note was scrawled for the other Cutie Mark Crusaders explaining her absence and she set to work writing the required extra assignment. She finished just before midnight and slipped all of her homework into her saddlebag while taking the time to remove the doodled heart, which she crumpled up, tossed into the air, and bucked straight into the trashcan. She stared out the window at the darkened orchard and sighed. While she couldn’t see the clubhouse from her bedroom, she could see the top of the tree it was nestled in from her vantage point. She whispered, “I wish Diamond Tiara could know what it’s like to be bullied mercilessly.”
Unbeknownst to the filly, her barely audible wish had been heard by one of the few beings with the power to actually grant it. He paused from his efforts to increase the size of one lone apple in the orchard to ridiculous proportions as he pondered the possibilities. “To grant this wish or not, that is the question.” He turned to an apple tree and asked, “Should I?”
The apple tree in turn transformed into Discord, and he addressed the place where he had just been standing, “But that’s such a played out cliché. I ache for some new forms of chaos.”
Discord returned to his original location and stated, “But it’s a fun cliché. And as an added bonus, I can count it towards the community service clause of my work release. Who said community service need be boring? Why not add just a touch of chaos? Am I right?” The apple tree said nothing and Discord took that as an agreement.
Apple Bloom was crawling under her blankets when the sound of a claw on glass drew her attention to her bedroom window. “D-d-d-d-discord?”
“That’s right, Apple Bloom! And I’m here to congratulate you!” He materialized inside her room and continued, “As the one thousand, three hundred, and eighty-seventh wish of tonight, yours is granted! All I ask is that you make sure you mention me in your friendship letter to Princess Celestia so I get credit for this. Anyways. Peace out. Or something.” He disappeared in a flash of light.
Apple Bloom shuddered and pulled the blankets over her head. “I wish I hadn’t made that wish.” It took longer than usual, but eventually she fell asleep.
Apple Bloom awoke the next morning to a radio alarm clock blaring the latest Sapphire Shores song. “What in tarnation? What happened t’ the rooster? And why’s my radio set to the pop channel instead of the country station?” As her now open eyes adjusted to the light she continued, “For that matter, what the hay happened t’ my bed?” She found herself in a bright pink princess-sized canopy bed with a soft, cushy mattress that she sank into. It was a far cry from the single bed with the firm, lumpy mattress that she had fallen asleep on.
“I’m in Diamond Tiara’s body, ain’t I?” She checked one of the many mirrors in the room and confirmed her suspicions. “I really shoulda seen this comin’.” She felt a dull throbbing pain in her forehead, and as the headache worsened she realized it was not from the stress of the situation she now found herself in. Another quick glance in the mirror and she saw the large bruise on the side of her head, only partially-concealed by her mane. “I reckon I did some damage when I bucked her off o' me last night. Good, serves her right. Ouch. Except now I’m the one who has t’ suffer the pain she earned fair an’ square.”
She quickly hid the bruise with her hair and walked downstairs to eat breakfast. Much to her surprise, there was a blueberry muffin on the table waiting for her with a note.
Sweetie,
Sorry, I had to take some important investors out for breakfast this morning. I hope you understand. I’ll make it up to you later, promise.
Love,
Dad
The calendar hanging from the kitchen wall indicated that Diamond Tiara’s mother was in Canterlot on business until the following Tuesday. Eating the muffin in solitude was the complete opposite of the frequently raucous family breakfasts she was used to. The only other ponies around the house were the staff – the cook, the maid, and the butler, none of whom paid her any mind as they went about their daily tasks. She sighed and grabbed her saddlebag – she wasn’t very hungry anyway. Besides, if she hurried she could hopefully catch Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo before they caught up with the fake Apple Bloom.
Discord watched the events unfold with a yawn. “What a dreadfully underwhelming reaction. I really need to stop warning ponies before I turn their lives upside down. Or maybe I should just retire this entire shtick instead? Maybe Diamond Bloom will be more interesting than Apple Tiara. He snapped his claws and arrived on Sweet Apple Acres.
“Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
“What is that horrendous noise?” Diamond Tiara rolled over and right off the edge of the much smaller bed than the one she had gone to sleep in the night before. For the second time in less than twenty-four hours she found herself face down on the ground. “Ahhhhhhh!” She looked around her surroundings in horror – the peeling paint on the walls, the scuffed wooden furniture that looked like it had been passed down from one generation to another three times too many, the faded pictures hanging from the wall depicting extended family members, and finally the ragged saddlebag completely bereft of a cutie mark decoration. She cringed and looked to her flank. It was yellow. It was covered in a fine layer of dirt. But worst of all, it was blank. “Noooooooooooo!”
In quick succession, three things happened. First, the alarm clock started blaring the Kenneigh Rogers and Dolly Hearton classic Islands In The Stream. Second, the door to her room burst open revealing Applejack and Big Macintosh. Finally, the realization hit her that she had no idea how to explain herself to the Apple siblings.
“Y’all have a nightmare, sis?”
“Uh, I just rolled over and found the floor. Sorry for wakin’… y’all up.” Diamond Tiara couldn’t remember the name of the orange mare to save her life. She was mentally kicking herself – Apple Bloom’s sister was a fairly important pony. She should know her name. What irked her most, however, was that her voice actually sounded exactly like Apple Bloom’s – right down to the stupid accent. The ‘y’all’ hadn’t even been forced. It had rolled off her tongue naturally and that worried her tremendously.
“Well breakfast’ll be on th’ table in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Ain’t that right, Woolin?”
“Baaaaaaah!”
“Time me.” Applejack dashed out of the room and towards the kitchen and Big Macintosh followed her out at a much slower pace.
Diamond Tiara tried hard to be surprised to find livestock in the house but found it fit her stereotype of the Apple family perfectly. And it gave her yet more ammunition to use against the real Apple Bloom once she got her real body back. She grinned – she would turn this horrible situation to her advantage yet.
Her stomach growled. “Oh, right. Breakfast. Most important meal of the day my flank.” She trotted down the stairs and much to her amazement saw no less than twenty different apple pastries sitting on the table. Each one smelled absolutely delicious. She couldn’t recall the last time she had had a real breakfast. And she couldn’t remember ever having had the whole family gathered around the table for a meal – not even on the traditional family holidays like Hearth’s Warming. She greedily dug into the pile of apple fritters as they were the closest dish to her spot at the table.
“Are you sick, youngin?”
Diamond Tiara looked to Granny Smith. “I don’t think so?”
“You’ve been silent this mornin’. Usually you’re so full of life, teeming with ideas on how you’re gonna get your cutie mark before sundown. Today you haven’t said more ‘an two words.”
“Sorry. I bumped my head when I fell out of bed. Just have a bit of a headache is all. I’m fine, promise.”
“Maybe you should stay home from school t’day. I’ll write ya a note an’ Miss Cheerilee will excuse you. Why I remember when she was your age. She used t’ go to school with your sister, ya know.”
Diamond Tiara quickly debated the benefits and downsides of skipping school today. The plus side was that if she didn’t go to school, nopony would see her in this awkward situation. The problem with that was that Apple Bloom would probably go to school… with her body. And that could cause trouble for her in the long run. Besides, she really needed to find Apple Bloom to see if there was some way to reverse whatever spell had done this to them. At least she hoped Apple Bloom was in her body… what if there was a new Diamond Tiara and she’d be forced to live in this hick’s body forever? No, there was too much at stake to cut class. “Nah, I’ll be good, Granny.”
“Suit yourself. But if you’re gonna make it on time you best be getting’ a move on right about now.”
The displaced filly glanced at the clock and ran back upstairs to grab Apple Bloom’s saddlebag. She could only hope that Apple Bloom brought her homework with her to school. If not, she would just have to use Apple Bloom’s homework as leverage over her to get what she wanted – her body back.
“Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo!”
“Diamond Tiara? What do you want?”
“Scoots, it’s me, Apple Bloom.”
“Yeah, right. You really expect us to fall for that?” Scootaloo shoved the pink filly aside. The real Apple Bloom’ll be here any minute now so we can all walk to class together. Why don’t you go find Silver Spoon and leave us alone for once?”
Apple Bloom turned away from the Crusaders with tears in her eyes. Even her own friends were turning her away without helping her. Could things get any worse?
“Diamond Tiara!”
Apple Bloom gulped. She didn’t need to look to know whose voice that was.
“About time you got here! The blank flanks will be here any minute and you’re not in position.”
“Position to do what?”
“The rope! We’re going to trip the Cutie Mark Crusaders when they walk past so they get a face full of dirt, just like you did yesterday.”
“That seems sorta mean. I mean, yesterday was an accident.”
“Are you kidding? This was your idea! You even said that they needed to pay for denting your tiara! I’m guessing that’s why you’re not wearing it - you couldn’t get the dent out?”
“Uh, yes. Honestly I woke up with a bit of a headache. I think I may have hit my head a little harder than I thought yesterday, especially ‘cause I don’t remember any of this. Why don’t we skip tripping them for now? Maybe we can do that later.” Apple Bloom turned away from Silver Spoon and mouthed, “Or never.”
“Apple Bloom!”
Diamond Tiara cringed. It was the other two blank flanks – exactly the ponies she didn’t want to see. “Uh, hey girls.”
“You’ll never believe this – Diamond Tiara actually came up to us pretending to be you! Isn’t that the stupidest thing ever? We saw right through that, of course. She’s getting pretty lame.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty stupid,” Diamond Tiara agreed. “She must be having an off day.”
“Ha! Every day is an off day for her. Come on, let’s move it before we’re late.” Scootaloo nudged the other two ponies into the wagon hooked up to her scooter.
“I’ve never seen you so anxious to get to school.”
“It’s not that I want to go to school, Sweetie Belle. It’s because if I’m late one more time Cheerilee’s going to write a note to my parents demanding an explanation as to why. And that would be the end of us walking to school together.”
A wicked grin flashed across Diamond Tiara’s face. They were spoon-feeding her everything she needed to know to destroy them. It was great. She briefly entertained dropping her saddlebag to force them to go back for it but decided against it. According to the clock tower in town they had a healthy margin of error before school started. Besides, there were still a few months left of the school year – plenty of time to make Scootaloo late. No sense blowing her cover this early when there was still so much she could learn from these two simpletons. “Yeah, that would be… tragic.”
“Are you okay, Apple Bloom?”
“Yeah. I just banged my head this mornin’ is all. You know what’s really embarrassin’? I can’t even remember my sister’s name at th’ moment. How silly is that?”
“You mean Applejack?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Yeah, that’s it. Thanks.”
“Maybe I should stop by the hospital and drop you off.” Scootaloo glanced at the clock. It would be tight but she could still get to the hospital and back to the school before 8 o’clock.
“That won’t be necessary. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve taken harder licks than this.”
“Are you sure?”
“I hope you feel better soon!” Sweetie Belle hugged her before Diamond Tiara could stop her.
It had been several years since the last time somepony had hugged her, and she awkwardly put her forelegs around Sweetie Belle to return the hug. As much as it pained her to admit it, it felt…nice. “Thank you.”
After several minutes of walking while exchanging idle chatter, Apple Bloom finally blurted out, “So why do you hate the Cutie Mark Crusaders so much?”
“Because you do.”
“Wait…what?”
“Yeah. You’re always going on about how you can’t stand their bungling antics, their incompetence because they can’t figure out that cutie marks don’t work that way, or their annoying ability to shrug off adversity and keep going time and time again.”
“So if I liked them you’d like them?”
“Probably. I don’t think we’d ever be great friends with them. I suspect that we’ve burned that bridge multiple times over, but we could probably all tolerate one another. Honestly I’ve got nothing against them. More than anything they make me giggle at how ridiculous they are. And I kind of pity them a bit. To still be blank flanks at our age? There’s a real possibility they might all be completely talentless. And that thought is kind of depressing.”
“Huh, I never looked at it that way.” Apple Bloom immediately dismissed Silver Spoon as a typical yespony.
“So why do you hate them so much?”
The question caught Apple Bloom off guard. “I…I don’t know. I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out this morning. It hasn’t really gotten us anywhere, has it?”
“Not unless you count all the times we’ve ended up in the mud because something backfired on us.”
“The next time I get fired up about something regarding the Cutie Mark Crusaders, remind me of this conversation so we don’t end up doing something stupid.”
“You got it!”
There are few things quite as unsettling as laying eyes on yourself from outside your own body. It was an experience Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom were sharing, though neither could say a word on the subject as they were each surrounded by the other’s friends.
“Let it go, Diamond Tiara. Remember what you said earlier.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Apple Bloom was thankful Silver Spoon had misinterpreted the extra long glance she had given the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they walked past.
They took their seats and Apple Bloom took the books and homework out of Diamond Tiara’s saddlebag. Much to her surprise Scootaloo slipped a note to her.
I couldn’t ditch your lame friends to talk to you before class so here’s what’s going to happen. At recess you’re going to meet me on the swings. In the meantime, let’s call a truce. I’ll turn in your homework and refrain from getting you in trouble if you’ll show me the same consideration.
The REAL Diamond Tiara
She nodded to Diamond Tiara who nodded in return. For the first time ever they had come to an agreement on something. Apple Bloom sincerely hoped it wouldn’t be the last time. Either way, it was a start in the right direction.
Equestrian and science classes passed by agonizingly slowly, but thankfully uneventfully. As the fillies and colts filled the playground, Diamond Tiara excused herself from the Cutie Mark Crusaders citing wanting to spend some time alone. Sweetie Belle tried to argue with her but Scootaloo dragged the unicorn away.
Apple Bloom had a much easier time convincing Silver Spoon to give her some space – she just pointed to the swings and suggested this was their opportunity to make amends, but that it would be better to do so one on one. Silver Spoon agreed as usual and made herself scarce.
“So.”
“So.”
“I want my body back.”
“Great, cause I want mine back too. And my family, and my friends. Silver Spoon’s the only pony who’s talked to me all day, and all she does is agree with whatever I say. It’s driving me out of my mind.”
“You are out of your mind. Or have you forgotten I’m in your mind at the moment?”
“You know what I mean. I thought we agreed not to torment each other.”
“No, our agreement only covers not getting the other in trouble. For example, let’s say I decided to tell Cheerilee to jump off a cliff. She would, of course, blame you since I’m currently in possession of your body. Believe me, I briefly considered robbing a few convenience stores until I realized you could retaliate in a similar fashion as soon as you heard the news. But tormenting? You keep livestock in your house. How can I possibly not torment you about that?”
Apple Bloom sighed. “You know, wouldn’t it be nice to take this chance to put aside our differences once and for all? Hay, maybe we could even become good friends ‘cause of this and then look back on it years later and laugh about it.”
“Me? Friends with you? That’s a laugh! You’re just a pathetic blank flank. You probably don’t even have a special talent to find. Blank flank!”
“Those words are awful ironic coming from those lips since from where I’m sitting I’m the one who has a cutie mark and you don’t.”
“We’ll see about that! I bet I can get your cutie mark for you! Wouldn’t that be funny – all those years of you trying everything to find your cutie mark and then I get it for you in less than a day?”
“Not funny.”
“Well, it’s not as funny as your face but it’ll do.”
“You mean this face?” Apple Bloom motioned to Diamond Tiara’s face. “I agree one hundred percent. I woke up like this and I haven’t been able to stop laughing since!”
“I should beat you to within an inch of your life for that…”
“Go right on ahead! I don’t care if this body gets beaten up. It’s a loaner.”
“Maybe I should just beat this body up then?” Diamond Tiara held a hoof up towards her face. I bet I could do some permanent damage. You’ll have horrible scars for life. What do you say?”
“I say that bickerin’ ain’t gonna get us anywhere.”
“Great, we finally agree on something. Now, do you have any idea what happened or how we fix this mess?”
“I know how it happened… One word: Discord.”
Diamond Tiara shuddered. “Lovely. Did he mention how we break the curse?”
“Not a word. I’m hopin’ it’s one o’ them twenty-four hour deals. You know, we wake up tomorrow and everything is back to normal.”
“And if it isn’t?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Great. I liked him better as a lawn ornament. Well, we’ve been seen talking long enough. In order to keep up appearances I recommend you call me a ‘blank flank’ and then walk away sneering.”
“Blank flank!” Apple Bloom turned and walked away, sighing through the sneer. She really hoped this whole ordeal would be over sooner rather than later.
Apple Bloom kept casting longing glances across the cafeteria at her friends while she listened to Silver Spoon talk about her day. She now had an idea exactly why she was Diamond Tiara’s best friend – not only was she a yespony, but she was dreadfully boring. By removing Diamond Tiara from the equation and leaving Silver Spoon to her own devices you could practically hear the grass growing or the paint drying.
The Crusaders, however, were having an animated conversation at their table. Diamond Tiara, much to her chagrin, was seated right between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They had insisted, just in case she was still feeling ill effects from the fall she had suffered that morning.
“But we haven’t tried hang gliding yet.”
“Scootaloo. Think about it. Why would a unicorn’s special talent have anything to do with flying?”
“But what if it is. Do you really want to take that chance?”
“No, I guess not. What do you think Apple Bloom?”
Diamond Tiara blinked. “Well, shoot. I was just thinkin’ maybe we should try singing. I think that would be pretty fun.”
“I tried singing at that stupid talent show we had last year and remember how awful that turned out? They thought we were a comedy act!”
”But Sweetie Belle and I haven’t tried singing. Besides, it was obvious you couldn’t decide whom to imitate. You went with the overly flamboyant Freddie Marecury when you should have stuck with a mainstream hit factory like Journeigh or Fleetwood Tack. You sang a power ballad, but you were dressed for a rock opera.”
“Well, that’s still better than what Sweetie Belle wanted. Mare Supply? Filly Collins? Neighl Diamond?”
“I think those would be wonderful selections for Sweetie Belle. And I’ll concentrate on the country & western. Maybe some Kenneigh Rogers and Dolly Hearton.” They were the only two country artists she was familiar with, and that was only because their duet had woken her up that morning. “If you don’t want to sing, why don’t y’all try dancin’ instead?”
“I could do that I guess. Or maybe I could wow the crowd with some sweet moves on my scooter!”
“Exactly,” Diamond Tiara grinned. With a little prodding, perhaps two of the three Cutie Mark Crusaders would finally have their cutie marks. Now if only she knew what Apple Bloom was best at. Aside from whining, that is. She was fairly confident nopony had ever gotten a cutie mark in whining – nor would anypony want one.
For the first time all day, Apple Bloom was actually glad Silver Spoon was following her around like a lost puppy. Mainly because she really was lost. She had left the house in a hurry earlier and hadn’t really paid attention to which one it was. Now she was counting on Silver Spoon to lead the way.
A few minutes later they arrived at the largest mansion in Ponyville, and Silver Spoon led the way through the wrought iron gates. In hindsight, Apple Bloom kicked herself for not remembering that Diamond Tiara’s father, Filthy Rich, was the wealthiest pony in town. It stood to reason he’d own the biggest, ritziest house in all of Ponyville.
As Apple Bloom stood in Diamond Tiara’s bedroom, she was surprised to see hundreds of toys in her closet. Most of them were still mint in their packaging, while the few that were open looked as if they had barely been played with. It struck her as a tremendous waste. “Hey, Silver Spoon. Wanna play with these toys?”
“But you said those toys are for immature fillies. I believe your exact words were ‘even the Cutie Mark Crusaders are too mature to play with these toys’.”
“I did? Was I always this much of a stick in the mud?”
“Yes. You know, maybe you should bump your head more often. Today’s been fun.”
“Yeah, it really has been.” Apple Bloom was shocked to admit this. Silver Spoon wasn’t a bad pony at all. She was just clinging to the one pony she considered a friend. Now if she could just persuade Diamond Tiara to start acting nicer. She pulled out a few board games. “The age range for these games says 8 to adult. So they can’t possibly be too immature for us.”
“Oh! Monopony! I haven’t played that in ages! I call dibs on the cloud piece!”
Diamond Tiara was soaring above Sweet Apple Acres on a hang glider. How Scootaloo had ever convinced her this would be a good idea was a mystery to her, but here she was hundreds of feet in the air with nothing but apple trees below to cushion her inevitable fall. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Sweetie Belle – the poor unicorn filly had both eyes squeezed as tight as possible. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, was enjoying every second of it. She was obviously convinced this made her just as cool as Rainbow Dash.
As predicted the glider crashed spectacularly, cartwheeling through the branches of several trees before finally coming to rest upside down on the roof of the barn.
“That. Was. Awesome!”
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “No, that was incredibly reckless, borderline suicidal, and yet surprisingly enjoyable. Let’s do it again!”
“I don’t think we can,” Sweetie Belle finally spoke up as she checked her body for injuries. “I’m pretty sure we won’t be getting the damage deposit back for this rental.”
“Do we ever?” Scootaloo asked. “If you get your deposit back you’re doing something wrong. That, or you’re a scaredy cat. When you’re extreme like we are, things get broken.”
“I can do with less breaking things.”
“Me too,” Diamond Tiara agreed with Sweetie Belle. “At the rate we’re going one of these days it’ll be our necks that get broken.”
“You are such a worrywart, Apple Bloom. Our necks haven’t been broken yet!”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“Yeah, yeah. So what’s next on our list?”
Sweetie Belle took a look at the day’s checklist. “Uh, looks like explosives technician.”
“Cutie Mark Crusader demolition specialists, yay!”
Diamond Tiara facehoofed. The only possible outcome for this was failure.
Apple Bloom sat on Diamond Tiara’s bed and stared into the empty space around her. Silver Spoon had gone home for the night after completely dominating Monopony, Risk, and Life. Her homework was complete, so now she was left alone with her thoughts. One thing was for certain: Diamond Tiara led a very sad existence. Her family was always gone, the servants barely talked to her, and her best friend was pretty much a parrot, repeating back the things Diamond Tiara wanted to hear.
Actually, there are two things for certain: money may not buy happiness but it sure does buy a comfortable bed. Apple Bloom was out like a light within seconds of resting her head on the pillow.
“Three…two…one…” Scootaloo stamped her hoof down on a plunger and there was a satisfying string of explosions. The recently reconstructed Apple Family barn never stood a chance. It collapsed in on itself in a perfectly controlled implosion.
Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped. The Cutie Mark Failures just managed to do something correctly! The only thing unsurprising about this was that the task involved destroying something – they were experts at this already. Of course none of them had gotten their cutie marks from it, but that was to be expected at this point. Watching the other two fillies run in circles while checking out each other’s flanks, however, was enjoyable.
“Shoot, no exploding dynamite cutie mark. Pity, ‘cause that would have been a totally awesome cutie mark. Even Rainbow Dash would be jealous of something totally epic like that!”
“I’m kind of glad I didn’t get my cutie mark in blowing things up. Rarity would have a heart attack. And then she’d go on at length about how the yellow and red flames contrast with my purple and pink hair.”
“Just where exactly did you get the explosives, Scootaloo?”
“Pinkie Pie.”
“My barn! What the hay happened?” Applejack ran out of the farmhouse and stood gaping at the smoking pile of rubble that used to be a barn. She took her hat off and held it over her heart in a moment of silence for the structure she had helped erect during the last family reunion.
“Now might be a good time to lay low,” Diamond Tiara suggested. The other two fillies nodded and followed her back to the clubhouse. Once there she rummaged around the heaps of debris and pulled out a telescope. “Perfect! Cutie Mark Crusader stargazers, yay!”
“I dunno. Sounds kinda boring.”
“I think it sounds nice and peaceful. I like it!”
“It sounds like the kind of activity we’ve been up to all evening. You know, the kind that says we don’t know what happened to the barn.”
“Ohhhhh! That sounds much better. I like it too!” Scootaloo grinned.
Sweetie Belle named the constellations as they took turns looking through the telescope. It was the perfect way to wind down an exciting day.
Diamond Tiara walked into the Apple Family kitchen and was pleasantly surprised to find a smorgasbord of apple dinner options sitting on the table. She helped herself to a few apple brown betties and trotted upstairs to Apple Bloom’s bedroom.
Applejack poked her head in. “Sis, do you know anything about what happened to the barn?”
“Nope. We heard an explosion, but that’s it. You may want to check with Rainbow Dash though. We spotted her flying past a few seconds before the big ‘boom’ through the telescope. She might have seen something.”
“Thanks,” Applejack replied. As she left the room she mumbled, “Darn pegasus. Doing sonic rainbooms wherever she pleases…”
Diamond Tiara grinned. It was the least she could do considering she had had to listen to Scootaloo drone on about how awesome the prismatic pegasus was the whole day. As she laid her head down on the pillow she smiled – it was the first genuine smile to adorn her face in many moons. She was surrounded by a loving family, real friends, and the most fun she’d had in ages. She honestly didn’t want this day to end. Maybe if she was lucky Discord would never switch them back. Sure her flank might be bare the rest of her life, but it would be worth it to have all the things she had only dreamed of until now.
Of course, the Spirit of Chaos had other plans. He was thoroughly disappointed with the day’s events, finding them just as boring and clichéd as he had the last time he tried this trick. He sighed – he’d gladly trade a kingdom for some new material. Preferably Celestia’s kingdom. With a snap of his claws the two fillies returned to their true bodies.
Diamond Tiara awoke in her canopy bed, much to her disappointment. It made her miserable to think she was jealous of the wretched little blank flank, but she was. Oh well, it was a new day with new possibilities. Maybe she would extend an olive branch after all. After all, you can never have too many friends – right?
Besides, Rumble had looked pretty pleased when she had asked him to next Friday’s dance yesterday. Soon Apple Bloom would be getting a pleasant surprise that her crush was reciprocated. At the very least she'd have a dance partner. It might not atone for all of the nasty things she’d done to Apple Bloom over the years but it was a start.
“Why am I rebuilding your barn?” Rainbow Dash asked. Sweat dripped from her brow as she labored under the hot midday sun.
“Because you knocked it down with that sonic rainboom ya did yesterday, that’s why! Now back to work!” Applejack cracked a whip over the sweating blue pegasus.
“But I didn’t do any sonic rainbooms yesterday…”
“My sister says you did. Are you implyin’ Apple Bloom is a liar?”
“No, but I’m telling you the truth – I didn’t do any rainbooms. Did you see a giant rainbow trail?”
“Nope. But I reckon I don’t know a whole lot about sonic rainbooms. Maybe you don’t always leave a trail since that does make it a might obvious who’s responsible for the damages an’ all. Maybe you’ve been working on a stealthy rainboom or somethin’.” She cracked the whip again. “Faster! Faster! Cheaper! Cheaper!”
