Your Human And You: The mask we wear.

Strength. Weakness. Fear. Bravery. Words we take for granted. One can easily say they are brave or strong, weak or afraid and while there is a universal understanding, the real meaning of such words remains a mystery. To say one is strong can mean many different things to different people. Strength gives you the ability to overcome obstacles or to crush them completely. Bravery gives you the power to charge through seemingly impossible odds without fear. The weak don't have the ability to act upon or to defend both themselves or others. To fear is to run or hide from things we don't understand or make us uncomfortable. To me these words mean something very different.

To me, weakness is not a flaw or a disability it is the very opposite. Weakness is the driving force to make one who they are, define themselves as an individual and to grow as a person. The weak become wise as their struggle teaches them and molds them into the very beings we see each day. To me, to be weak is to be strong.

Strength is not about power or to overcome an obstacle. It is to take your flaws, your failures, your very life, embrace it, use it to break the rules and make them your own. To say 'fuck you world, just because I can fail doesn't make me insignificant...it makes me human'. To be strong you must know weakness.

Fear is the word.....an emotion I know better than any other. To me fear is simply the force for preservation. We naturally don't want to die, we wish to live our lives wherever they take us. Fear is not a burden. Fear keeps us safe, secure, alert and alive. But, so what is bravery, I hear you say? ...Well! To me, bravery is not the act, it is the motive. Bravery is the willingness to put your life at risk for someone else and to protect ones close to you. How can a man be brave if he is afraid? It is the only time a man can be brave.

Strength cannot exist without weakness.
Fear cannot exist without bravery.
Both rely on each other like fish to water. One cannot simply be without the other.

Most would call this wishful thinking, that I need to wake up and see the truth. They think they are right and I am not, What I see is possible, to them is impossible. Nothing is impossible...not really. Life is a game of change and chance. All you can do is roll the dice .....you are wondering why I say this.

To be honest I'm not sure myself. So much has happened to me. It's not every day I get to wake up and ...smell the ashes. It's good to cling onto such ideals, it means you're still human inside. Still not sure which type of human now. Everything I knew about myself has changed so much that I don't even know what I am any more. This world breaks down any sense I had of life. Am I to simply bow down and accept this worlds nature or continue to strike against it.

As long as I have the spark that carries me forward, I like to think of myself as simply human. Nothing more. Nothing less.

.....But do I want that?

Hehe.... look at me ranting on ...let me continue.

****

I opened my eyes and was greeted with darkness. Everything around me was pitch black and empty. Getting up, I scanned the area but it seemed meaningless as nothing was around. I wasn't sure what was going on but it didn't scare me, it was unnerving. I heard the rattle of chains echo through this empty space causing me to turn around. In what looked like a spotlight was a figure, who was restrained by an absurd amount of chains. Upon closer inspection the figure looked like me, in a way, but with some disturbing differences.

Like me, it was wearing a dark red cloak, but unlike mine its cloak was worn and poorly patched. Its mask, however, disturbed me the most. While mine was round and white with an intimidating look, its was downright psychopathic. Its shape was that of a triangle with the point facing down and the end shaved off slightly. It looked like it was made of metal, hastily welded and clamped together. Its eyes were different sizes, one being bigger than the other and the lenses had spirals on them. Its mouthpiece, like mine, could move independently and had sharp looking metal teeth that could do some huge damage.

As I got closer, the eyes suddenly lit up a yellow flickering hue as the face lifted to look at me. What immediately caught my attention was that the spirals on the lenses were actually its eyes, as they moved around to look at me. I froze as we stared at each other before it spoke to me.

"Its about time you got here. We need to talk...... hehehe" he said, in a strangely familiar voice.

"....."

"Whats the matter?" he said, somehow making his mask grin as if it were his actual face.

"W-who are you?" I managed to get out, surprised to hear my own voice at last.

"The one who saved you in that fight" he said, chuckling.

I looked in horror at his figure, as the pieces fitted together in my mind. HIS voice was the one that I heard as my body beat the crap out of that Griffin.

"Oh. Come now. Don't give me that look. He had to die, one way or another. What difference does it make if I did it?One of you was going to die whether I had intervened or not. The way things were going were not in your favor" he explained, getting slightly excited. As much as I wanted to deny it, he was right.

"Did you have to go that far?" I asked.

"Hmm? Does it matter? He's dead, you're not" he laughed, madly. Seeing as this conversation was going nowhere and making me uncomfortable I changed the subject.

"So who and what are you?"

"Doooooooooon't know" he said, childishly.

"To who or to what you are?" I asked again.

"Both" he said, with a nod causing the chains to rattle. "But as to where I came from...." he trailed off.

"Go on" I said becoming impatient.

"Wellllll. This place you're sleeping in... can you feel something in the air?" I shifted slightly. "Thought so ...well....that energy is made from living emotions and a consciousness... minds of their own. In that fight I began to manifest in your mind and somehow I took on form and life. Such odds are extremely low" he explained.

"So it's like a possession?"

"No..... not quite....no. More of a second mind ...another personalty shared in a body, except I was born only two hours ago" he explained further.

"How do you know all this then? How can you even speak?" I asked.

"Being in your mind, I have access to everything you know." I tensed. "Don't worry, I only glanced at your knowledge, not your memories. It was like a huge library and I've only learnt a few things so far."

"So where does this leave us?" I pondered.

"Not sure. You seem relatively calm about me sharing your body and mind" he wondered, tilting his head.

"After being thrust into a strange world, where everything makes no sense, I'm willing to believe anything for now" I said taking a sigh. "You're quite the riot aren't you?"

This seemed to get his attention, as he looked down in thought, his eyes glowing yellow, flickering still like search lights. He then grinned and got to his feet and began to tense his arms. The chains around him broke and snapped and before I knew it, his face was right up to mine.

"That's a nice name ...from this moment on, I am RIOT. GAHAHAHA" he said happily, taking my hand and shaking it.

"T-the chains" I began.

"Oh them? It was to make you feel more comfortable" he said, slinging an arm over my shoulder "What's your name?"

"Jax" I replied hesitantly.

"Well Jax this is the birth of a new friendship. I hope it lasts. Hehehehehe..he.he...." He began, but stopped half way.

"Whats wrong?" I said, getting concerned.

"Someone's trying to get in" he said, quietly. "My my..... persistent aren't they?"

"What do you mean?" I said, not too comfortable having this Psycho so close to me.

"Someone has tried to enter this space of your mind ...your dream to be precise" he explained, looking up.

"My dream? How can someone look into my dream?" I said, skeptically.

"Magic" said Riot.

"Magic ...really?" I deadpanned.

"Well ....believe it or not, yes, but anyway to business." With that I found myself in a gangster styled pub, sat at a large round table with a swinging lamp above.

"Ok ...so what do you bring to the table" I said, not sure about the situation and deeply confused.

"Well right now we're not quite in sync with each other, making me weak. In time, however, we will become more in sync, but at the moment I am making you recover a little faster" he said, sitting at the opposite end of the table.

"Recover faster?" I said, becoming a little intrigued.

"Didn't you notice your back and right arm stopped bleeding, when they were, quite heavily, in fact" he said, grinning at my face when I saw that he was right.

"What happens when we fully come into sync, then?" I said, letting myself get a little too excited.

"Oh, something amazing will happen but we're a bit ways from that for now. Let's just get acquainted" he said, grinning still. I remember thinking.... this was going to take a while to convince myself I was not crazy and that I just had an insane voice in my head, which in itself made me sound crazy.

"Deal" I said, slowly showing my hand.

"Splendid" he exclaimed, before hitting me with a frying pan, making my world go dark.

****

I awoke again to the sight of stone and the smell of dust. Hoping that what had happened was all a dream. I looked at my arm, was shocked and felt a sense of dread, when I saw my arm was almost completely healed.

"It's not a dream, roomie." Oh god, he was real.

"Morning" I thought, grumpily.

"Morning, neighbor" Riot replied, with enthusiasm.

"This is going to take a while to get used to" I thought, sitting up slightly, stretching my arms and popping my joints. Feeling an uneasiness, I looked down to see the small nymph again, looking at me with wide green eyes. Pushing away my phobia, I began to scratch its head, causing it to chirp. I inspected my injuries, only to see that my cuts were almost healed and my right arm, while still painful and stiff and though still broken, it was not as bad as before. Looking back down at the nymph, I wondered what gender it was. Its head had a similar shape to the yellow pony I had encountered, leading me to believe it was female. It seemed to enjoy my scratching a lot so much so, that it lay down on its back wanting me to scratch its belly. Its tail swished happily and....unfortunately I saw something very....intimate.

"Pervert."

"FUCK YOU."

With my face still burning, I was carrying the nymph in my arm sling, as I made my way out of the now well-lit ruins. I walked past the grave I had dug the night before. I used the axe as the head stone, as it would be too heavy for me to use and would only slow down my movements. Giving a quick salute, I very carefully made my way back across my makeshift bridge as I had a extra passenger ....well physically anyway.

Retracing my route through the forest, with the help of some birds, I found the dirt path again that led into town. Why was I back here? Well, out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw what looked like train tracks. That's right! Today I'm a hitch hiker ...not sure if that's a good thing.